Anywho, I live in the back corner in the break room, where everyone smells like sweet coffee and sometimes they have stains on their aprons. I get to vacuum the rug in front of the bakery case, and I always get the good crumbs! But sometimes I get filthy mud from the other tall people who walk in and buy scones. Not very nice of them. I mostly come out at night, when the night tall person has to clean up and vacuum the store. He wears headphones, so he never hears me talking to the broom about the news. Apparently, the chairs outside have been feeling very left out. So when I go to clean the break room, I get to suck up little dust bunnies who tickle my insides. They have a lot to say, but I can never hear them through my case. Sometimes, I get to come out early after the mid afternoon tea time rush. This makes me happy, because I can talk to the rag, who always talks about all the crumpets he gets to wipe up, that lucky bloke. But, you can't live life being angry at rag, he's very nice to me when I get dirt on me, he cleans me right up.
Now to my name, I'm a Sir because I'm the only vacuum and was once knighted by a small tall person who had a wooden sword and wandered off from his mummy. He found me and decided I should be a knight. I have never forgotten him. I'm the 3rd because broom has said there's been two before me, a green and a red one. I'm blue, and I like how the shop sticks stickers on me, I have one that says 'Coffeeholic, beware!', the new tall people with aprons who come every few months laugh when they see me. But I have chivalry, and know not to suck the back of their trousers when I get angry at them. One day, I'm going to make it to a museum, where I can vacuum long rugs that go on forever! When the vacuum mechanic comes to check up on me, his tools, especially hammer, tells about all of the long rugs in the museums, where vacuums go if they can be quiet. I'm very quiet. You should hear me if I go by the sleeping rat! It can't hear me, but it runs off every time! That means he's suspicious of how quiet it is. Too bad he doesn't show up anymore, not after that tall person came to look inside the walls. I don't know why he would, there's nothing interesting in there.
Right now, I'm content with living in the coffee shop, where everything smells nice and the tall people are so colourful in their clothing. I live right in the centre of the city, so I always get to have lots of crumbs and meet lots of friends. I shall hope to make it to a museum one day!
Sir Vacuum The 3rd