Author has written 7 stories for Naruto, High School DxD/ハイスクールD×D, Sekirei, Huntik: Secrets & Seekers, Bleach, and Soul Eater.
Name: Stephen a.k.a. Phoenix
Age: Irrelevant, but somewhere above 20 and below 40. Am I touchy about my age? No. I'm paranoid. So I'll keep a great deal about myself to myself, thanks.
Hobbies: Reading, Gaming, Killing Other's Fun... Not as bad as it sounds really, I just do it to people that don't deserve to be having fun at that moment. You know, Jacka*es, Morons, people like that.
Job: What's that? Can I eat it? No? Then I don't have it.
Pet Peeve: spelling and grammar, no idea where it came from, don't care.
Personality: Insane. Never was Sane. Sanity is far too over-rated. I'm the kind of guy who watches a Zombie flick and thinks "I'm hungry". Let's face it people, Sane is boring. Oh, let's not forget Mentally Unstable. Makes understanding people easier. Odd ain't it?
Likes: COFFEE!!! Coffee is to me what Ramen is to Naruto. Mess with my coffee and I hurt you. Other than that? Books, anime (duh), swords (cliche, I know, but true).
Dislikes: Stupidity (we're all entitled to our moments but continued stupidity is too much), a good portion of my family (yeah, "close" is not a term to be used for us), homophobes (everyone is entitled to their lives, just don't try forcing your views on me), bigots, those who attack (words or physical blows) the few I actually give a damn about.
Things I LOATHE: Rapists, Arrogance, Unreasoning Prejudice.
Favorite Shows: Ummmm, big list with no real order... Naruto, NCIS, Oda Nobuna no Yabou, Inuyasha, Monsuno, 11Eyes, 3x3 Eyes, Cardcaptors, Claymore, Fate/Stay Night, Fate/Zero, Genesis of Aquarion, Witchbalde, Hyakka Rouran (both seasons), Infinite Stratos, Inukami, Kurokami, High School DxD, Fafner in the Azure, Mouse, Mobile Suit Gundam (pick a season/title), Night Wizard, Nurarihyon no Mago, Rental Magica, Tenjo Tenge, Yu Yu Hakusho... Let's put down "Anime in general" and leave it at that... Yeah, sounds good to me.
Favorite Pairings in anime: I'll take damn near anything really. Do I have any I hate? Well I'm not fond of Sasuke/Hinata. It just doesn't work in my opinion.
Member of: The Dreamers.
Japanese Name: 松浦 Matsuura (pine tree coast) 聖人 Masato (sacred person) this is according to http:///widgets/toys/namegen/969/#.UHBaV65VKiI ... I put my Family name first followed by my first and middle names as is apparently Japanese custom.
Basic Self-rant: Am I an A*? Will you hate me? Probably. Will I care? NO. Welcome to reality, it sucks, and not in the good way. I could go on and on, but people reading this don't really care either, so I'll save my breath (so to speak). I am however running out things I can think of to actually bother writing out. Oh! One more thing! (No Jackie Chan "Uncle" comments about that please). Yes, I live in Canada, No I do NOT live in an igloo in a perpetual blizzard.
Next rant: Abused Naruto Plot Devices That Make No Sense (I'll update these as I come across them again and again)
First Up - Not trying to sound insulting, but I have to wonder why certain stories, when using the "exile/banishment" plot device allow the CIVILIAN Council say on SHINOBI matters? On top of that, the Shinobi villages are a military dictatorship, ruled by the Hokage, who is advised by an Elder Council. ADVISED. The council's, with a Hokage in place, have no authority in Shinobi affairs. Really people, try to use that gray matter between your ears. It's not just there to make you look pretty. Let's face the truth, a council of civilians having a say in military matters is a really stupid idea, not even the United States has fallen to that level of retardation.
Side Note: I'd like to state now that I do not, in any way, hate on the U.S. It is simply that from my point of view the leaders of that country have made numerous stupid mistakes in history. One of which being the short invasion of Canada in 1812 that I have been told is not placed their history books. This is not to say that Canada hasn't made any mistakes of the retarded nature (*cough*Harper*cough*), but patriotism kinda glosses over any knowledge of such mistakes, since as far as I know there aren't any mentioned in OUR history texts.
Second - Trying to wedge that damned Namikaze into Naruto's name. His clan name is Uzumaki because they were the important Clan, as opposed to the Namikaze who only had Minato to their insignificant name. Minato would have married into the Uzumaki, not Kushina into the Namikaze. Why did he get to keep his name? Because he was HOKAGE, a position that honors the individual, not the lineage. There is no Namikaze in Naruto's name, even had Minato survived that night, he still would have been UZUMAKI due to Clan status. The only reason Hinata would later become Uzumaki Hinata is because the two clans are of relatively equal standing where it can be acknowledged by the assuming of her husband's name.
Third - Sasuke. I'll admit he was an intolerant douche of a character... after he defected. Prior to that his primary persona was that of the loner who doesn't want to see those around him getting hurt. He was not an entitled rich-boy asshole of a narcissist. He was not unstable, no more than any other child would be having witnessed their parent's murder at any rate. Obsessed? Yes. No argument. With himself? No. I'll admit to doing some hate work on him in one story, that is my bad for getting caught up in Fanon. I regret it, but the story is still being written, so I may be able to salvage him. Who knows?
Fourth - Giving Danzo power simply to do stupid shit. Really people, can't you be more original than that? I realize that we're Fanfic authors, but you can show SOME integrity.
Fifth - Zabuza being called No-Brows. ... You people have actually SEEN him, right? He freakin' HAS eyebrows. They aren't even thin! Go get your eyes checked.
Sixth - Abandonment/Negligence stories that dare to include Kushina as part of the problem. This is stupid in so many ways. I shouldn't even have to mention it.
A poem about Child Abuse
My name is Lucifer I am three,
My eyes are swollen, I cannot see,
I must be stupid, I must be bad,
What else could have made my daddy so mad?
I wish I were better, I wish I weren’t ugly,
Then maybe my mommy would still want to hug me.
I can’t do a wrong, I can’t speak at all
Or else I'm locked up all day long.
When I'm awake, I'm all alone
The house is dark, my folks aren’t home
When my mommy does come home, I'll try and be nice,
So maybe ill just get one whipping tonight.
I just heard a car
My daddy is back from Charlie’s bar.
I hear him curse my name is called
I press myself against the wall
I try to hide from his evil eyes
I’m so afraid now, I’m starting to cry
He finds me weeping, calls me ugly words,
He says its my fault he suffers at work.
He slaps and hits me, and yells at me more,
I finally get free and run to the door
He’s already locked it and i start to bawl,
He takes me and throws me against the hard wall
I fall to the floor with my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues with more bad words spoken,
"I’m sorry!", I scream, but its now much to late
His face has been twisted into a unimaginable shape
The hurt and the pain again and again
O please God, have mercy! O please let it end!
And he finally stops, and heads for the door
While i lay there motionless, brawled on the floor
My name is Lucifer, I am three,
Tonight my daddy murdered me
Now i roam the underworld, to help those in need.
I may seem evil, but i'm not.
And if you read this and don’t pass it on
I pray for your forgiveness
Because you would have to be one heartless person
To not be effected by this Poem
And because you are effected,
Do something about it! So all i ask you to do
Is pass this on! IF YOU ARE AGAINST CHILD ABUSE
Dearly beloved…we gather here to say our goodbyes. Here he lies…
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life isn't always fair, and maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place.
Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate and teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job they failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.
It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Panadol, sun lotion or a sticky plaster to a student; but, could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar can sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by three stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else is to Blame, and I'm A Victim.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
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