Author has written 7 stories for Harry Potter, Twilight, and Percy Jackson and the Olympians.
Hi. So I'm new to Fan fiction. I live in the United States. I love the Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Heroes of Olympus, and Twilight series. I love to write and type stories.
My favorite colors are purple, green, blue, and yellow. I have a pretty large collection of books and stories that I've written. If anyone has a request for a book, PM me or send me our request in a review.
TWILIGHT COPY AND PASTES
If you've read Twilight over four times- then copy and paste on to your profile.
If you are in love with the ever so charming Edward Cullen and Jasper Whitlock- then copy and paste on to your profile.
If you wish that you was Bella Swan- then copy and paste onto your profile.
I am 100 Team Edward though I do think he is an idiot in New Moon...
If you have been diagnosed
«• Twilight •» •.(•. .•).•
3. Hyper Alice
The next copy-and-paste is unbearably sweet. How cute is it?
Bella: Do I ever cross your mind?
Bella: Do you like me?
Bella: Do you want me?
Bella: Would you cry if I left?
Bella: Would you live for me?
Bella: Would you do anything for me?
Bella: Choose--me or your life
Edward: My life
Bella runs away in shock and pain and Edward runs after her and says...
The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.
The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.
The reason I don't want you is because I need you.
The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.
The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.
The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.
The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.
This one is plain FUNNY!
The 10 Commandments of Twilight
1. I am the best book out there, you shall have no better ones than I.
2. You shall not take Edward Cullen's name in vain.
3. Remember to keep release dates calendared.
4. Honor the Cullen's for gracing you with their presence.
5. You shall not kill humans or shape-shifting wolves.
6. You shall not love both Edward and Jacob equally.
7. You shall not steal Twilight books from your friends to see how they will react when they can't read them anymore.
8. You shall not lie, for Edward will know that you did anyways.(Unless he can't hear you...)
9. You shall not covet Edward.
10. You shall not covet Edward's Volvo, or various Cullen cars.
f you are in love with a Twilight character, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you took the time to read all of these (and you usually do), copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.
If someone mentions Twilight, you can go on for hours talking about it, copy this to your profile.
If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy this into your profile.
If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If Edward's mind reading, Alice's visions, Jasper's empathy, Rosalie's beauty and tenacity, Emmett's strength, Esme's love, and Carlisle's compassion are only a few of thousands of reasons why you're Team Cullen, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile.
NORMAL PEOPLE: rely on their local weatherman for the weather forecast
NORMAL PEOPLE: say OMG!
NORMAL PEOPLE: go to a psychiatrist to tell their feelings
NORMAL PEOPLE: say shut up or i'll tell on you!
NORMAL PEOPLE: think that vampires are all like Dracula
NORMAL PEOPLE: when being chased yell HELP ME SOMEBODY!
NORMAL PEOPLE: get nervous/scared during thunderstorms
NORMAL PEOPLE: would choose somewhere sunny to go for vacation
NORMAL PEOPLE:dont have this on there profile
Lessons Learned in Twilight:
1. You can enjoy the banquet while resisting the wine.
The Twilight Oath
If you cried when Edward left Bella in New Moon, Copy and paste this to your profile
If you think that Twilight is the best book know to woman... (And man!) Copy/paste this into your profile.
If you've reread Twilight over 4 times...copy/paste this into your profile.
If, when you have a boy, you'll seriously consider naming him Edward...copy/paste this into your profile
If, when you have a girl, you'll seriously consider naming her Isabella...copy/paste this into your profile
If you have ever been so obsessed with Twilight, that whenever you hear thunder, you think of vampires playing baseball...copy/paste this into your profile.
If you are willing to admit that you are absolutely in love with Edward Cullen, a completely fictional character...copy/paste this into your profile
If you truly believe that there is an Edward Cullen out there somewhere for you (his name doesn't have to be Edward)...copy/paste this into your profile.
If whenever you see a silver Volvo and you start to scream "Edward", copy and paste this in your profile
If you are in love with a Twilight character, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you flip whenever you see someone reading a Twilight series book and you want to talk to them all about it, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you are Team Edward, copy and paste this in your profile.
If someone mentions Twilight, you can go on for hours talking about it, copy this to your profile.
If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy this into your profile.
If whenever you see or hear the name "Edward" you freak out and have a small fit because you love him so much, and then people stare at you, copy and paste this into your profile.
If your friends are considering torturing you because you won't shut up about the Twilight series, copy and paste this in your profile
If you think that losers hate/don't get Twilight, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think Bella is out of her mind for saying no to Edward's proposal in New Moon and you want to hit her hard upside the head with a blunt axe, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever become so obsessed with something that it is NOT even funny anymore and people think you’re insane, copy this into your profile.
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile
If when you have a child, you'd consider naming them Edward or Anthony, copy this into your profile
If you agree with Bella that her life without Edward is useless then copy this to your profile.
You know your addiction to Twilight is getting dangerous when you've added "Volterra" to your computer's dictionary. If you have done just that, copy this into your profile.
IF YOU LOVE EDWARD CULLEN, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE AND SCREAM!
If you've read Twilight, New Moon, and Eclipse over four times, copy this onto your profile
If you get ticked and throw a fit until all the people in the room leave because someone said the characters of Twilight aren't real, copy this onto your profile
IF EDWARD AND BELLA DON'T STAY TOGETHER I'M GONNA STAB SOMEONE! Repost this if you agree
If you've ever lost someone you loved, copy and paste this onto your profile.
AACIBD is Addicted to All Cullen’s including Bella Disorder.
AV is Addicted to Vampires
If you think Edward Cullen is the cutest boy on the planet copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you think Edward Cullen is hot...copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you think iPods were gifts from the gods copy and paste this onto your profile
If you think that only losers hate/don't get Twilight, copy this into your profile.
If whenever you see or hear the brand "Volvo" you freak out and start giggling uncontrollably and then people stare at you funny copy and paste this onto your profile
If you think that TWILGHT is the best book known to woman (and man)...copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile.
If whenever you see or hear the name "Edward", you freak out because you love him so much, copy this to your profile.
If you're a proud stalker and obsessed love-struck of Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.
Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that hasn't, put this in your profile.
My best friend is insane. If you agree, or if you have an insane friend, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile
If you have ever tripped down the stairs copy this into your profile.
If you truly believe, there is an Edward Cullen somewhere for you (Doesn't mean his name has to be Edward Cullen), copy this into your profile.
You know your addiction to Twilight is getting dangerous when you've added "Volterra" to your computer's dictionary. If you have done just that, copy this into your profile
If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.
If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you agree with Bella that life without Edward is useless then copy this to your profile.
Pluto was declared no longer a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was 'too small' and 'off its orbit' for a couple scientists' likings. If you still think Pluto should be a planet then copy and paste this to your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO!
If you suck at sports, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you've ever read a book, then forgotten the plot by the next day, copy and paste this to your profile.
f you've ever created an awkward silence, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.
If you have ever read more than 10 at one time, copy/paste this in your profile.
If you have ever regretted something you said to someone you hate, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you ever broke out crying for a stupid reason, or no reason at all, you know the drill, copy/paste.
If your boyfriend was ever a jerk and "broke up" with you for a day and you went back out with him, copy and paste this.
Percy Jackson Copy Pastes
Annabeth asked Percy if she was pretty. Percy said no. She then asked if he liked her. He again said no. Her eyes teared a little bit. She asked if he wanted to be with her forever. He said no. She asked if he would cry if she left and he said no. A single tear fell down her cheek. She decided she had heard enough to know Percy definitely didn't want her. She walks down toward her cabin and he grabs her arm to spin her around. He puts both hands on her face and says
I promise to remember Percy whenever I'm at sea
Percy Jackson taught me that there's a hero in all of us.
I’m that girl.
The girl who hates dances and sport games. When I do go, I end up in the corner with a book.
The girl who makes your girlfriend jealous even though I am only your best friend.
The girl who is pretty but thinks she isn’t.
The girl who isn’t a size four and doesn’t eat healthy.
The girl who has never been asked out even though everyone else around me has had dozens of boy/girlfriends.
The girl who dreams about her book getting published or graduating college with honors while everyone else is dreaming of their wedding day.
The girl who doesn’t care that she has acne from getting stressed too much or doesn’t need a guy to complete her.
The girl that people look through when I say something.
The girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal.
The girl that people call weird, a nerd, and a freak either behind my back or to my face.
The girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cellphone or regular phone.
The girl who has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain.
But I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn't care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Greek Mythology, who can express herself better with words than without words, and knows the importance of the little things.
Copy and Paste this onto your account if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest times that they are unique, but not alone.
Copy and paste me to your profile if you: love Percy Jackson the character.
Copy and paste me to your profile if you: have watched the Percy Jackson and the Olympians movie more than once.
Copy and paste me to your profile if you: have a Percy Jackson obsession.
Copy and paste me to your profile if you: love 'Percabeth'.
Copy and paste me to your profile if you: have re-read certain parts of the story over and over again. *cough page 374 of The Last Olympian the last line of the chapter where Percy and Annabeth kiss cough*
Copy and paste me to your profile if you: were sad when you finished the series.
Copy and paste me to your profile if you: talk about Percy Jackson so much that your family and friends get really annoyed.
Copy and paste me to your profile if you: ever daydream about yourself in the Percy Jackson world.
Copy and paste me to your profile if you: think the 'Thalico' is completely AU and OCC but still love them.
Copy and paste me to your profile if you: loved Percy Jackson and the Olympians the movie even though it was different from the book.
Copy and paste me to your profile if you: are a demigod.REMEMBER WHEN ..
getting high meant swinging at a playground?
A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle
Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!
Guy: No, this is fun.
Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl: I love you, now slow down!
Guy: Now give me a big hug.
She gives him a big hug
Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.
In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she could live. If you would do this for a loved one copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever started reading FanFiction from the moment you come home from school at four until 4 am when your mother threatens to donate your computer to a charity shop, copy and paste this on to your profile.
If you have ever yelled at the book you were reading because the characters did something stupid post this on your profile
If you've ever run into something big and obvious in public, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.
Did you know the average American only reads 3 books a year? If you don't believe that it's even possible to read that little, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If Fanfiction is your way of escaping reality and the rest of the boring people in the world and truly "unleashing your imagination" then paste this in your profile and add your name: Emerald Princess 14, StardustFromThePlanetGallifrey, NarnianLady, KingdomHeartsNerd, Lady Alice101, TheOnlyMarauderette,
If you like singing songs at random points in the day, copy this into your profile.
If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile. (my friends think I am weird 4 this one)
If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.
If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile
If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile
When you steal your friend's pen you believe it's justified because your dad is the god of thieves, and you thought it was Riptide and had to check to make sure Percy was still alive.
You write fanfiction constantly, even when you're not at your computer.
When your mom grounds you from the computer, you blame it on a combination of Nemesis, Hera and Hermes' little joke.
You want Hephaestus to fix your iPod when it breaks.
You give all your siblings and/or friends god parents (Poseidon, Zeus, Hades.)
You call the "Ares kids", or school bullies, Martians.
You quiz fellow fans on the minor gods and win.
You spend time doing pointless research, just because Rick Riordan linked it on his site.
You plan several statements to avoid Apollo's lines and remember he's a player, should he ever hit on you, and several ways to get out of being cursed.
You imagine the gods alone, and what they really do on the Superbowl.
You think Percy's extended family needs extensive therapy.
You have a countdown to the Demigod Files because of the mention of Percabeth.
You want Kronos buried under Witchita, Kansas in a safe deposit toothpick box. No one will ever look there, and hopefully he'll be too tiny to bother the locals.
Your mother thinks you need (I did one time, and my mom looked at me all weird) to get a boyfriend, as does your father to cure your obsession.
You blame your little brother's desire to turn off your Internet in the middle of this review on Hermes' anger that you've joked about all of them.
You imagine random unwritten PJO moments during class and laugh. When one brave soul unaware of your obsession broaches the question of why you were laughing, you try to explain.
They think you are nuts because you are laughing at Hades' wild card of Nico
You think of creative names for Percy besides Seaweed Brain, such as kelphead16 because his head is full of kelp and there's an 85 chance he'll die at the age of sixteen.
You wonder if you'll be able to drive a car come your 16, provided Percy saves the world, because of that.
You know you're obsessed when you lose something, and say, "Come on Hermes! Give it back!!"
You think all the popular girls at your school are children of Aphrodite. And say to all the braniacs at your school if Athena is okay.
You go on YouTube and look at PJO themes for characters.
You read page 287 of BotL over and over again or say the lines in your head
Your favorite quote of all time comes from PJO.
You and your friend has "diss-wars" using PJO CHARACTERS (My friend Athena is going to make up dumb, oh wait you already are).
When someone dies, you give them a sack of red rubber balls for Cerberus.
Every time you see a guy in a wheelchair you think "Chiron!!”
You find yourself saying things like "Oh my gods!" and "What the Hades?"
When your boyfriend dumps you, you take the oath of the hunters
When you burn yourself, you curse Hephaestus/Hestia.
You put an offering to Demeter next to your garden.
You go up to a teacher in a wheelchair and say, "I know who you really are, Chiron…"
You say "Maia!" when you are wearing shoes.
Things I am not allowed to do at Hogwarts:
1) I will not, under any circumstances, ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss
2) Professor Flitwick's first name is not Yoda
3) I will not give Hagrid Pokémon cards and convince him they're real animals
4) I will not sing the Badger Song during Hufflepuff-Slytherin Quidditch matches
5) When Death Eaters are attacking Hogsmeade, I shall not point at the Dark Mark and shout "To the Batmoblie, Robin!"
6) Any resemblance between Dementors and Nazgul is simply coincidental
7) I will not refer to the Weasley Twins as "bookends"
8) I will not scare the Arithmancy students with my Calculus book.
9) I will not hold my wand in the air before I casting spells shouting "I got the power!"
10) I am not allowed to paint the house elves blue and call them smurfs.
11) I will not slip Malfoy a Love Potion in his morning goblet of Pumpkin Juice.
12) Should I chance to see a Death Eater wearing a white mask, I should not start singing anything from The Phantom of the Opera.
13) I will not call Dumbledore "Santa Claus!" during the Christmas Holidays.
14) I will not put Muggle fairy book in the History section at the library.
15) I will not send Snape a bottle of shampoo for Christmas.
16) I am not allowed to tell Hufflepuffs there is no Santa Clause.
17) I am not allowed to refer to myself as the New Dark Lord.
18) I am not allowed to sneak into Professor Snape's private chambers to watch him sing I Will Survive in the mirror, as it is disturbing.
19) I am not allowed to steal Professor Flitwicks wand, hold it over my head and laugh as he tries to reach it.
20)I will not replace Madam Pomfrey's Skele-Gro with pumpkin juice.
21) I will not replace Professor Snape's pumpkin juice with Skele-Gro.
22) I will not impersonate the Swedish Chef in Potions class.
23) The next time that I see Rita Skeeter, I am not to threaten her with a can of Raid.
24.) I will not subvert the lock on the fourth-floor girls' bathroom and sell its location to first-years as "The Chamber of Secrets".
25) When applying for a post at the Ministry of Magic after graduation, I should not cite "Fred and George Weasley" as my greatest influence at Hogwarts.
26) Putting down "Lord Voldemort" is probably not best either.
27) A Muggle "vacuum cleaner" is not acceptable Quidditch equipment, even if it has been enchanted to fly.
28) Hogsmeade village is not "a wretched hive of scum and villainy. “
29) I will not tell Professor Trelawney that I prophesied her death.
30) I will also not tell Professor Trelawney that I had a vision of her killing the Dark Lord.
40.) Sending rings to the nine senior faculty at Yuletide, with the return address "Voldemort", is not funny.
41) Insisting that the school acquire computers and network the buildings is a pointless request as they claim that a quill and parchment is sufficient.
42) Calling the Ghostbusters is a cruel joke to play on the resident ghosts and poltergeists.
43) I may not have a private army.
44) I must not substitute chocolate-flavoured laxative for Professor Lupin's prescription-strength chocolate.
45) Nor am I to in any way substitute, alter, hide, or otherwise tamper with Professor Dumbledore's candy.
46) I am not the wicked witch of the west.
47) -I will not refer to Professor Umbridge as such either.
48) I will not melt if water is poured over me.
49) -Neither will Professor Umbridge.
50) I shouldn't use Photoshop to create incriminating photos of my house prefects or tutors.
51) I will not enchant the Golden Snitch to fly up the nearest fan's nose.
52) I do not know the Avada Kedavra curse, and pretending I do to people who annoy me is not funny, no matter how much they injure themselves diving for cover.
53) I will not test my Potions assignments by spiking Snape's drink with them.
54) - Especially not all of them at once.
55) I will not try to hock off my old piercings as "priceless Muggle artifacts."
56) I will not claim my X-Files tapes are "Auror Training Videos."
57) Professor Snape definitely does not have pointed ears, and under no circumstances is he to be addressed as 'Spock'.
58) I am not able to see the Grim Reaper, nor am I to claim that he is standing by the Headmaster, tapping an hourglass and looking at him impatiently. Or, for that matter, Harry Potter.
59) When being interrogated by a member of staff, I am not to wave my hand and announce 'These are not the droids you are looking for'.
60) Thestrals do not resemble the Muggle toys known as 'My Little Pony'.
61) The four Houses are not the Morons, the Borons, the Smarts and the Junior Death Eaters.
62) Despite my personal beliefs, Quidditch would not be improved by the introduction of Muggle firearms.
63) Though they are doubtless more athletic, battle-axes are not acceptable either.
64) I will not claim there is a prequel to Hogwarts, A History that explains about Bilbo Baggins.
65) I will not use the Marauder's Map for stalking purposes.
66) I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paintballing.
67) I am not allowed to ask Professor Dumbledore if the size of his beard is 'compensating for something'.
68) I will not create a betting pool that Voldemort is Harry Potter's father.
69) Headmaster Dumbledore is of no relation to Willy Wonka.
70) Professor Snape's proper given name is not Princess Silvermoon Fairywing GlimmerMcSparkles.
71) Harry Potter and Ron Weasley are not the magical equivalent of "Batman and Robin".
72) I will not play the Imperial March theme for Professor Snape.
73) However, when Lucius Malfoy visits, I may play it.
74) If I insist on carrying out my plans of producing "Riddle-de-dee: The Voldemort Musical", I will do so under a nom-de-plume.
75) I will not attempt to recruit the title character to play himself. Even if he looks good in tap shoes.
76) I should not refer to Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle collectively as "Team Rocket" either.
77) I am not allowed to discuss my theory that Voldemort is actually the second cousin of Sauron.
78) I am not a 'ninja sent here by Lord Voldemort to destroy Harry Potter' and should stop shouting this at meal times.
79) It’s not tasteful to approach Cho wearing a shirt that says "All The Good Looking Ones Die Young" with a picture of Cedric Diggory on it.
80) I will not yell "Hey look! It’s Lord Voldemort!" at Hogsmeade
81) I will not tease Voldemort about the time he needed his pink flowery teddy bear to comfort him when he had that bad, bad nightmare about Harry
82) I will not charm a poster of Britney Spears on Draco's wall
83) I am not allowed to begin each Herbology class by singing the theme song to “Attack of the Killer Tomatoes.”
84) I will not call Professor McGonagall “McGoogles”.
85) I will not sing the entire Multiplication Rocks series during Arithmancy exams.
86) There is no such thing as the chamber of Double Secret Probation.
87) My name is not “the Dark Lord Happy-Pants” I am not allowed to sign my papers as such.
88) Bringing fortune cookies to divination class does not count for extra credit.
89) I will not douse Harry Potter’s invisibility cloak with lemon juice to see if he will become visible while wearing it and standing by the fire in the common room.
90) I will not tell first years they should build a tree house in the Whomping Willow.
91) I will not teach the house elves to impersonate Jar Jar Binks.
92) I will not give Gryffindors pixie sticks.
93) I am not allowed to refer to Susan Bones, Hannah Abbot, and Justin Finch-Fletchley as Blossom, Buttercup, and Bubbles.
94) A time turner is not a flux capacitator I should therefore not try to install it in a Muggle car.
95) I shall not refer to DADA professors as canaries in a coal mine.
96) When fighting Death Eaters in the annual June good vs. evil fight I will not lift my wand skyward and shout “There can only be ONE”.
97) A wand is for magic only, it is not for picking noses, playing snooker, or playing drums no matter how bored I become.
98) It is generally accepted that cats and dragons cannot interbreed and I should not attempt to disprove this theory no matter how wicked the results would be.
99) 42 is not the answer to every question on the O.W.L.S.
100) I am allowed to have a cat, rat, toad, or an owl. I am not allowed to have reticulated python, snow leopard, Tasmanian devil, or piranha.
101) No matter how good an Australian accent I can do I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class.
102) I will not refer to the Defense against the Dark arts professor as Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak.
103) Dumbledore is not Gandalf, and the Triforce is not hidden in Hogwarts.
104) Do not confuse Aragorn, Eragon and Aragog. Ever.
105) I may not introduce Nagini to Indiana Jones.
106) Challenging Ron to a slug-eating contest is just mean.
107) Under no circumstances am I allowed to refer to Voldemort as "Baldy".
108) Even if he is.
109) I am not allowed to tell the first years to have a staring contest with the Basilisk.
110) I am prohibited from sprinkling glitter on Draco Malfoy, dying his hair, and call him Edward.
111) I am not allowed sell Mrs. O'Leary to Hagrid.
112) I will not give Professor Lupin a collar as a Christmas or birthday present.
113) Saying "I think I 'taw a puddytat!" every time I see Professor McGonagall is most certainly NOT allowed.
114) Offering Voldemort a colonial-era powdered wig (complete with ponytail) will not amuse him and I am not allowed to do so, even if he needs a new hair do.
115) I am not allowed to paint the school neon pink as the only person it will amuse is Professor Umbridge.
116) I must not introduce Voldemort to a psychiatrist as it is likely to result in him having a temper tantrum.
117) I am not allowed to introduce the Cullens to Professor Lupin.
118) I am not allowed to tease Professor Lupin about his 'time of the month'.
119) I shall not play match-maker for Voldemort on Valentine's Day because it will only make him cry when no one will go out with him because of his lack of hair.
120) I am not allowed to be a match-maker for Shelob and Aragog either.
121) I will not arrange a battle to the death between nine Hungarian Horntails and the Nazgul.
122) I will not scream, "HIS NAME IS EDWARD!" any time I hear the words Cedric Diggory.
123) I will not ask the centaurs if they know where Chiron is because I have found a demigod.
124) I will not shout at dinner times that Darth Sideous is Voldemort's uncle, even if they do look alike.
125) I shall not try to persuade everyone that Percy Weasley's true name is Percy Jackson and he slays monsters with a pen for a living.
126) I will not sing 'I'm a Survivour' after the Battle of Hogwarts.
127) No matter how fun it looks, I will not stand on a table and do the Macarena at the Yule Ball.
128) Professor Lupin is not the magical equivlant of Wolverine and I am not allowed to address him as such.
129) Even if I'm bored, I am not allowed to ask Snape what is the mysterious ticking noise.
130) I will not dye Harry's hair pink or give him brown contacts, just because I am sick of black-haired, green-eyed heroes.
131) Whether they owe me money or not, I am not allowed to sneak into Fred and George's dorm at the dead of night to die their hair blond, spike it unreasonably high, then call them John and Edward in the morning.
132) I will not send Voldemort white robes for Christmas and claim he changed his name to, "Voldy the White."
133) And when he wears them, I am not allowed to run around Hogsmeade screaming, "Ahhh! It's an albino dementor!"
134) It is not tasteful to send Professor McGonagall a scratching post for Christmas.
135) Bringing a magic eight ball to Divination class will only get Professor Trelawney annoyed at your, "Lack of Inner Eye."
136) To which I am not allowed to reply.
137) I will not refer to the Accio charm as 'The Force'.
138) Nor am I allowed to have lightsaber fights with my wand and make whoosing noises.
139) "Because they both need to wash their hair," is not proof Professor Snape and Aragorn are related.
140) There is also no proof that Gimli and Flitwick are related and I am stop asking Flitwick if he's been swimming with any hairy women lately.
141) Singing 'Hungry Like The Wolf' in Professor Lupin's class is not a way to get extra credit.
142) I am not allowed to write on the wall in the Gryffindor Common Room, "I know where you live" or "I stole all your underwear!"
143) I am not allowed to replace the Bludgers with peas, tomatoes, plums or anything that is not a Bludger.
144) Portable swamps are not funny.
145) And I will not set off the above in Snape's sleeping quarters.
146) Or in the Slytherin's bathrooms.
147) In fact, I am not allowed to even buy portable swamps.
148) Harry Potter is not a Son of Poseidon and saying this everytime I see him will only result in him filing a restraining order against me.
149) My patronus is not a Nazgul.
150) Neither is my animagus form.
151) "To conquer the earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not an appropriate career choice.
152) It still is not appropiate, even if I have subsituted the flying monkeys with gummy bears.
153) I will not levitate everywhere in a big pink bubble.
154) My professors have neither the time, nor the inclination to hear about what I did with six boxes of Sugar Quills.
155) No part of the school uniform is edible.
156) Nor am I allowed to make any part of the school uniform edible.
157) I will not try to take house points from the first years for "being too goddamned short".
158) Especially as I am in no position of authority and Dumbledore would have to be heavily drugged before he would ever make me a prefect.
159) I am not allowed to wear singing holiday-themed ties and claim that they are officially part of my uniform. Especially not during June.
160) Luna Lovegood does not have pointed ears, nor is she to be addressed as 'Galadriel'.
161) Lucius Malfoy also does not have pointed ears, nor is he to be addressed as 'Haldir'.
162) I am not the reincarnation of Merlin.
163)I am not allowed to Accio the clothing of any person while they are wearing it.
164) I am to attend astronomy class and should stop yelling that aliens will abduct me if I do.
165) Hogwarts does not require a karaoke machine.
166) No matter how much I would enjoy watching Harry sing, "Saturday Night."
167) "Defying my will" is not a crime worthy of life in Azkaban, and I should not tell that to the first-years.
168) I will not speak to Professor Snape with a Transylvanian accent.
169) Nor am I to ask if he is Carlisle Cullen's evil, unfortunate-looking twin.
170) I will not start a rumor saying that Professor Snape sings "I'm too sexy for my robes" while showering. Or for that matter doing any other activity.
171) Enchanting the Sorting Hat to sort new students into the House of Martok, or any other Klingon house is forbidden.
172) Voldemort does not wish to appear as the 'before' for a line of cosmetics. And no, he does not care how much money I make from it.
173) The Slytherin prefect is named Draco Malfoy, not "Rocky Horror".
174) Transfiguring Draco Malfoy's uniform into a gold thong is also inappropriate.
175) I will not attempt to determine whether Malfoy is a natural blond.
176) I will not spend rumors that Legolas Greenleaf is his second cousin either.
177) Luna Lovegood is NOT always on "physicidelic mushrooms" and I should stop implying that she is.
178) The same goes for Professor Trelawney.
179) I will not get a tattoo of a smiley face on my arm and claim that it is the new Dark Mark.
180) When signing to all of these rules, I am not allowed to write in red ink and say that the Cullens lent me some grizzly bear blood.
181) I will not set my robes on fire to get out of potions.
182) I should not be a sports' commentator for Ron and Hermione's arguments.
183) Hogwarts does not need a "This many days since Harry has almost died," sign.90 percent of teens today would die if Myspace had a system failure and was completely destroyed. If you are one of the 10 percent that would be laughing, copy and paste this to your Profile
You Know You’re Obsessed With Percy Jackson When…
You go to the Empire State Building and you ask for the 600th Floor.
There’s a thunderstorm going on and you scream, “CALM DOWN, ZEUS!”
Every time you use the Internet, you thank Hermes.
When you see Harry Potter, you think of Percy with glasses.
You burn food to see if it smells good.
You see an owl, you go, “Hi Athena!”
You’re in a running/swimming race and you’re praying and sacrificing to Hermes/Poseidon.
You think that your favorite singer is a child of Apollo.
Someone close to you dies and you give them money (LOTS of it) just in case
Everyone else is creating a Twilight family and you create a PJO family.
You go on a cruise and you hope the boat isn’t The Princess Andromeda…
You’re on a boat and you pray that Poseidon is in a good mood.
You’re in the air (hang-gliding, cliff-diving, bungee jumping, flying, in a plane, etc.) and you hope Zeus is in a good mood and won’t blast you out of the air.
You go to Aunty Em’s and say you’re camera shy.
You find your true love and thank Aphrodite for sending him/her to you.
You think George Bush is a son of Ares (he’s dumb and violent you know!).
You know Muse is the best singers. Get it, the Nine Muses??
Bring a blue plastic hairbrush with you everywhere.
When it gets really cold randomly, blame Kronos.
You get a Greek mythology calendar for Christmas.
You get really mad at Hades when a family member dies.
You sometimes try to control water.
You don't read anything but PJO for 3 months.
You've gone to Google maps and looked up Camp Half-Blood’s address.
Even though not diagnosed, you claim you have ADHD or dyslexia and blame it on your God parent.
You yell "Annabeth!" every time you see a NY Yankees hat.
You make the PJO characters on Sims, as Miis on the Wii, and other video games.
Anytime you see an orange shirt, you look at the front of it to see if it is a Camp shirt.
You are a PJO character for Halloween.
Recite lines randomly from the books.
When you see/hear about anything mythology-related, you talk about how it was in PJO (what page, book, etc.) and what happened to it.
Buy anything New York or San Francisco-related.
You are suddenly obsessed with Adidas shoes because they have the Hermes symbol.
You claim that Percy IS real and lives in New York no matter how much your friends argue with you.
You have dreams about PJO characters/events (This is how I come up with ideas for fanfics.)
You carry a ballpoint pen in your pocket.
That every time you pick up a pen, you think it'll turn into a sword.
Every time you play dodgeball, you bring a suit of armor.
You go to San Fransisco looking for the Old Sea Man.
You find yourself praying to Poseidon for rain.
Whenever your internet slows down, you yell at the sky and say "HERMES! WHY DO YOU LOVE ANNOYING ME?!"
You stuff your (ahem) Harry Potter books in the back of your closet so you have some more places for your PJO stuff.
When someone gets married, you say: "I hope you shall not anger Hera"
In the beginning of your first History class, you burst out "Will we be studying Greek mythology?!"
You pretend (or actually) faint when someone asks "Who's Percy?"
When someone dies, you pray to Hades to allow them to go across Styx for free, because they don't have drachmas anymore.
You are known to scream names of the characters at random times.
You've got any copy of any book in all your backpacks/binders in case of emergencies
On the first day of school, you immediately look at your schedule to see whether or not you're in mythology.
You pray to Athena when you don’t study for a math test. (EVERY DAY!)
And when you flunk said test, you blame her irritation on Percabeth.
You make a list of characters never to anger, like this one and why:
-Thalia- Want her for your friend, hate her for your enemy.
-Athena- She scares Percy more than Zeus. Also, she cannot be distracted and her plans always work.
-Hades- Um, this one is rather obvious- also you might not be buried with a drachma in your pocket.
-Hermes- Cutting off your internet access would be slow and painful torture. Also I blame the economy crisis on Luke's stealing federal funds.
-Aphrodite- She's preoccupied with Percabeth and Thalico, I know, but c'mon...
"Try Not To Cry"
Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school,
He told his friends that it was cool,
And when he pulled the trigger back,
It shot with a great, huge crack.
Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told,
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold!
When I went to school that day,
I never said good-bye.
I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry.
When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another,
And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother.
Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,
And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush.
And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now,
And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now
And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best
Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest
Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class,
And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass
Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this.
But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss.
And Mommy tell the doctors; I know that they really did try
I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry.
Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest,
But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest
When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could
please listen to me if you would,
I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new
I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo
I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,
I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live.
But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late,
Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry to cancel the date.
I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true
And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you"
So, Please if you would, Don't smash this on the ground.
If you pass this on,
Maybe people will cry and remember how blessed they truly are,
Just keep this in your heart,
For the people who didn't get to say "Good-bye".
Now you have 2 choices,
1) Pass this on, and show people you care, repost as "Try Not To Cry"
2) Don't send it, and you have just proven how cold-hearted you really are...
it ok to cry
1. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
3. A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
4. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
5. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
6. Back up my hard drive? How do I put it in reverse?
7. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
8. When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
9. Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.
10. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
11. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
12. He's not dead, he's electroencephalographically challenged.
14. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
15. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
16. Honk if you love peace and quiet.
17. Pardon my driving, I am reloading.
18. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how living remains so popular?
19. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
20. It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial costs and blamed it on the high cost of living.
21. Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
22. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
23. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.
24. You can't have everything, where would you put it?
25. Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's population.
26. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
27. The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first.
28. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.
29. Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
30. Shin: A device for finding furniture
31. As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
32. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
33. It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
34. Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.
35. I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.
36. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
37. When you go into court you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people that weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
38. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
One way to figure out how things work, push all the buttons!
There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is filled.
Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.
One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.
When your are in jail a friend will bail you out, but a best friend will be sitting right next to you saying "dang that was fun!"
People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world
Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.
Life isn't passing me by, its trying to run me over.
Boys are like trees, they take 50 years to grow up.
Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic...
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
God created man-THEN had a better idea!
Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history
Your year book picture still haunts me.
The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.
A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is GOING somewhere.
I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.
You don't like me, well it's mind over matter. I don't mind and you don't matter.
364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from strangers, yet on Halloween, its encouraged! Why is that?
You're a speacial kind of stupid, aren't you?
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Secret admirers are stalkers with stationary.
Doctors say I have multiple personalities. We disagree with that.
So what if we act like imature idiots? We're having fun.
One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh,he just took a wrong turn,got lost,and is to stubborn to ask directions.
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.
I like work. It fasinates me. I can sit and stare at it for hours.
Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?
You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.
A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.
I DONT obsess! I think intensley...and like all the time
Jogging is a slow sprinting, Coach!
This is really sweet...
When a girl is quiet, a million things are running through her mind.
When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply.
When a girl looks at you with her eyes full of question, she is wondering how long you will be around.
When a girl answers "I'm fine." after a few seconds, she is not fine at all.
When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are lying.
When a girl rests her head on your chest, she is wishing for you to be her's forever.
When a girl wants to see you everday, she wants to be pampered.
When a girl says "I love you." she means it.
When a girl says "I miss you." nobody could miss you more than that.
Life only comes around once, so make sure you spend it with the right person.
Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, and calls you back when you hang up on him.
The guy who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead,
Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.
The one who holds your hand in front of his friends and is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you there for him.
The one who turns to his friends and declares "That's her.".
If you read this, you have to repost it, guy or girl, or you will have bad luck for the rest of your life.
If you repost this, in five minutes your true love will call or message you.
Tonight at midnight, they will realize that they love you.
Something good will happen at approximately 1:42 pm tomorrow, and it could happen anywhere.
So get ready for the biggest shock of your life.