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Joined 01-14-13, id: 4482809, Profile Updated: 10-20-14
Author has written 20 stories for Total Drama series, Misc. Games, Disney, Lord of the Rings, and Jurassic Park.

Hello fanfiction lovers! I'm a 15-year-old guy who lives in the USA. I like Total Drama, Jurassic Park, Minecraft, Lord of the Rings, Doctor Who, The Walking Dead, and of course, FANFICTION!

PM me if you want, I'm almost always in the mood to talk. I will read and review your story if you ask, but please don't go crazy or ask me to read a fic that isn't really that great. Feel free to check out my fics, I'm sure you'll like them!

I'm famous for my Psycho Trent fics and my Mr. Coconut obsession, but my personal favorite of mine is Total Drama Jurassic park, my masterpiece :D. All of my stories are at least somewhat insane.

I update my fics every Sunday, thanks to the advice of a good write and friend, or at least I'm starting to now. Every Sunday I plan to have at least this out:

2 or more updates to my current Total Drama fics

1 new multi-chap beginning, one-shot, or Psycho Trent one-shot

1 update or new fic for a fandom other than Total Drama

1 re-write/revising of an earlier fic or chapter

I hope you enjoy my profile and stories. God bless you all!


10/13/14: Well, the first batch of Sunday updates went well, even if one thing didn't get published until this morning. I got a lot of view, even if not many reviews. Two new one-shots, a Psycho Trent and one for the JP fandom, plus updates to LCC and TPD and the re-done chapter three of TDT!

10/3/14: Well, I did it! I wrote and published a new one-shot, uploaded to my "Library of One-Shots". That's right, I'm back, and hopefully for good this time! My plan is to update stuff every Sunday, although I may not get around to it this coming Sunday. I have a plan for what to update every week, which I'll post near the top of my profile.

8/21/14: Starting September I'm going to be writing a small bit every day instead of random bits every now and then, and updates should become far more frequent.

8/24/14: Guess what? The Cheesebub (a writer of great stories who's an even greater guy myself) and I are co-writing a long fic called "I Am ZEKE". This announcement is a little late as the first chapter was published a little while ago, and hopefully the second should be on its way soon. Check it out, and then check out his stories. They're awesome!

7/26/14: Well, dang. I've been meaning to write a lot but stuff got in the way and now August starts soon and I'll be on vacation for three weeks then, though not consecutively. I'm going to try to get out what I can now, and work hard throughout August whenever I get the chance, and then start a regular writing schedule in September.

7/7/14: Well, I've been gone a good while. I've worked on my fics a little but I haven't published or updated anything in a good while. I'm busy finishing up overdue school work but hopefully I'll have plenty of time to write in late July and August.

5/23/14: This is a rebellion! From now on, use the :L emoticon.

5/23/14: Changed my penname to TIAW Mr. Coconut Beatle.

5/6/14: Total Poem Drama has hit 10,000 views and Total Drama Jurassic Park has hit 100 reviews! Thank you fanfiction! You're all awesome! (Except for you, that troll in the corner.)

5/4/14: Total Drama Writing Spree Weekend. WOOH! TDJP is finished, and I've also updated a ton.

MY STORIES (See actual summaries for descriptions of all already published)

Stories Frequently Updated

Total Poem Drama: Total Drama story. On chapter 39 out of 53. Rated T mainly for moderate to strong language, with some crude humor and comic violence.

Lemons for Creepy Couples: Total Drama story. On chapter 6 of around 20. Rated M for sexual content, disturbing content, strong language, and violence in some chapters.

Stories in Progress

Mickey's Comeback: Disney story, specifically classic Disney and House of Mouse. On chapter 10 of around 30. Rated K Plus for dark/depressing themes, a few deaths, and very infrequent language.

Gollum's Travels: Lord of the Rings story. On chapter 6 of anywhere between 15 and 30. Rated T for disturbing Gollumy things, infrequent language, and cartoon violence.

Library of One-Shots: Total Drama story. On chapter 3 of a lot, a.k.a. as many one-shots as I end up writing on my time on this site. Overall rating is T, but individual chapter rating will vary from K to T for various reasons, which will be explained in the author's notes of every new chapter.


I Am ZEKE: Co-write with The Cheesebub. Total Drama Story. On chapter 1 of probably 30 or so. Rated T for crude and sexual humor, moderate language, and some violence.

Completed Stories

Random Crap: Total Drama Story. 3 chapters long, approx. 2,500 words. Rated K Plus for violent humor, crude humor, and brief mild language. Completed 9/13/13.

Total Drama Jurassic Park: Total Drama and Jurassic Park crossover, mainly about Total Drama. 15 chapters long, approx. 55,000 words. Rated T for violence, blood, and moderate language. Completed 5/4/14.


Ezekiel's Bad Choice: Total Drama Story. Approx. 700 words long. Rated K Plus for dark/disturbing themes. Published 7/14/13. Sixth-month fanfiction anniversary fic.

This is Trent: Total Drama Story. First Psycho Trent one-shot. Approx. 9,000 words long. Rated K Plus for strong crude humor, mild/infrequent violence, and disturbing stuff to do with nine. Published 10/14/13. Ninth-month fanfiction anniversary fic.

The Quest for Planet Nine: Total Drama Story. Second Psycho Trent one-shot. Approx. 500 words long. Rated K Plus for world apocalypses and Crazy Trent. Published 10/19/13.

Trent's Life: Total Drama Story. Third Psycho Trent one-shot. Exactly 9 words long. Rated K for no bad content whatsoever. Published 10/19/13.

Ten's Too Many: Total Drama Story. Fourth Psycho Trent one-shot. Approx. 300 words long. Rated T for disturbing themes and gore. Published 10/19/13.

It's Not Over Until the Psycho Trent Leaves: Total Drama story. Fifth Psycho Trent one-shot. Approx. 700 words. Rated K for no bad content whatsoever. Published 10/19/13.

Alejandro's Christmas Carol: Total Drama story. Approx. 2,500 words. Rated K Plus for mild language and mild violence. Published 12/14/13.

Trent's Ninesome: Total Drama story. Sixth Psycho Trent one-shot. Approx. 2,500 words. Rated M for sexual content and language. Published 4/8/14.

Steamboat Zeke. Total Drama story. Songfic based on Arthur Collin's 'Steamboat Bill'. Approx. 2,500 words. Rated K Plus for cartoon violence, mild language, and brief tobacco usage. Published 4/22/14.

Trent Versus Ten: Total Drama story. Seventh Psycho Trent one-shot. Approx. 1,500 words. Rated T for dark humor, moderate language, mild violence, and sexual humor at the end. Published 10/12/14.

Dennis' End: Jurassic Park story. Approx. 750 words. Rated T for Rated T for violence and language. Published 10/13/14.

Stories On Hiatus

The Chaotic Adventures of Bony Bones: Poptropica/Miscellaneous Games story. On chapter 40 out of around 70. Rated K for very mild cartoon violence and crude humor. On hiatus until I get more free time and ideas, plus more interest in Poptropica again. This may end up being a permanent hiatus, unfortunately.

Total Drama Twist: Total Drama Story. On chapter 19 of 27. Rated K Plus for explosions and very mild language. On hiatus as I redo all the chapters. Then the story will resume as normal.

Coming Soon

Three More Psycho Trent One-Shots: All Total Drama stories. Ranging in length from 1,000 to 3,000 words, and in rating from K to T. They will be published over the course of the next few months. All three stories involve Trent and his nine obsession. Some co-star other campers as well.

A Typical Sorna Day: Jurassic Park story. One-shot. Will be rated either K Plus or T, depending on violence. Will be uploaded once Total Drama Jurassic Park is finished. The dinosaur life on Isla Sorna is shown as it is without any human interaction.

Total Drama Troop: Total Drama story. Will likely be between 5 and 10 chapters, and probably M rated. Due to begin once both TDJP and A Typical Sorna Day have finished. Noah joins his local Forest Scouts troop (a fictional version of the BSA), only to find everyone there seems to be a former camper! Whether at meetings, campouts, summer camp, or service projects, he tries to deal with the insanity and keep things from falling apart, or blowing up. Sometimes literally.

Total Drama Cliff: Total Drama story. Will likely be 13 chapters long, and rated K Plus. Due to begin when Total Drama The Island Reborn wraps up. A short season taking place inside the cliff, consisting of campers not in TDTIR, and lots of craziness.

Lindsay, I Shrunk the Cody: Total Drama Story. Will likely be between 4 and 8 chapters long, and probably rated M. Will start when Mickey's Comeback ends. Cameron tests out a shrink ray on his friend Cody. It works, and a miniscule Cody becomes trapped in Lindsay's cleavage. Cody deals with the dangers and joys of being stuck there while Cameron tries to rescue him and Lindsay remains oblivious.

House of Mouse and Rabbit: Disney story, specifically classic Disney and House of Mouse. Likely to be around 30 chapters and K rated. Sort-of sequel to Mickey's Comeback, and due to begin when both that and Lindsay, I Shrunk the Cody come to an end. The House of Mouse is back and better than ever, but with two new Disney characters from the distant past, things get crazier than ever. Oswald the Lucky Rabbit, Donald Duck, and Pete all want to take over the club, and come into conflict with each other often, leading to disastrous results. Ortensia the Cat has become Donald's psychiatrist (he definitely needs one!) and Horace and Clarabelle try to keep a relationship going while Goofy is a little jealous. Meanwhile, Mickey and Minnie try to keep it all together.

The History of Minecraft: Minecraft story. Likely to be around 8 chapters and K rated. Due to begin whenever Gollum's Travels wraps up. Essentially a tale of the creation and fall of Minecraft. Explains how Minecraft came to be in the state it currently is, telling a tale of pigman, strongholds, villagers, hostile mobs, abandoned mineshafts, and the Nether and End.

Total Drama Campers Listed from Least Favorite to Favorite

Will be finished, with PI characters, someday in the future.

39. Blaineley Ah, Blaineley. My absolute least favorite camper. During the TDA special, she just seemed like the most gossip-loving annoying chick ever. She was annoying and kind of gross throughout the aftermaths she appeared in. I honestly hated the first half of the special, mainly because of how much she was featured. (The second half was awesome, though!) She was annoying and kind of gross throughout the aftermaths she appeared in.

In the competition she was even more annoying. Just the fact that she got in instead of Beth, Noah, Gwen, or any actual member of the peanut gallery is annoying. She and Owen were kind of funny together in the Niagara Brawls episode, but that's her only redeeming quality. Potentially the most annoying thing about her is how she rolled into the ocean and went M.I.A., only to show up two seasons later in a bonus clip, dating Bruno the Bear in Venice or some place. What?! I'm using the word 'annoying' way too much here, but what can I say? She's annoying!

38. B B was thrown together last minute. We know that for sure because his character was revealed much later than the other twelve. If he'd been created along with them, why wasn't his original design shown along with everyone else's?

Throughout the only three episodes he really featured in, the writers tried to throw on random stuff to make it seem like his character had actual depth. They did much the same with Beth in TDA, but at least Beth had an actual character to back up her stupid pointless traits. B didn't. Being way too good at challenges, having an embarrassing name, and his inconsequential interactions with Scott and Dawn? Pointless!

By far the stupidest thing about his character was how he never talked. I'm sure some self-described genius among the Teletoon producers thinks he/she's so clever for that little gimmick. I mean, no one ever really has characters that don't talk, right? What an original idea! Yay! Yeah, you know why it's original? 'Cause everyone else who's ever created a character ever realized right away it was a stupid idea. Normally I'm indifferent to boring characters, but normally boring characters aren't popular in their fandom. That's likely why B is so low, because he's so overrated. Is that fair? Nope. Do I care? Nope.

37. Zoey TDROTI Zoey was moderately interesting, at least when compared to her All-Stars incarnation. Zoke was incredibly rushed but it still felt somewhat genuine. Perhaps that's because only the initial reaction was rushed; the actual relationship took its time building up. And, what can I say? 13 episodes isn't a lot of time for couple and character development, so blame ROTI, not Zoey. Plus, how she went from the damsel in distress to a complete commando was surprising, unexpected, and a nice touch. Still, as many have already pointed out, she was a bit of hypocrite (wanting to make friends and telling Mike she liked oddballs, only to reject Dawn and Dakota). So, if this list was being written only four seasons in, Zoeymeister would be around the number twenty-five spot, maybe a little lower. But then came All Stars.

I don't think season five 'ruined' Zoey's character per se, I think it just brought out her true awfulness that had been hidden from us previously. How awful is her awfulness? Pretty awful.

I didn't mind her commando abilities in ROTI, because she'd only gotten them after suffering through a lot, she only had them for two episodes, and they didn't turn her into some kind of gymnastic machine. However, in All Stars, she was a complete god-player, somehow being normal "Mike help me!" Zoey but still retaining incredible physical talent, all at the same time. I see a contradiction there, and I don't like contradictions.

Alright, I'll admit it. The real reason why she's this low is because of how high she placed. Third in ROTI, then second/first in All-Stars. What stupid writer thought having her place that high twice in a row was justified? I know, I know, she was likeable and she won invincibility a lot. So? First off, in real reality shows, being 'the nice girl' won't get you anywhere. Second off, she only won so much because of her Mary Sueish commando abilities, which shouldn't have even existed after TDROTI Episode 12!

On a final note, how did she not realize Mike was no longer Mike until, like, the end of the fricking season?! There were so many hints, so many people telling her otherwise. Honestly, how dumb can you be? Although I must concede, taking him to the finale once she finally realized who Mal was, that was both pretty smart and pretty brave. She went up against that evil force to try and save her significant other. That's All Star Zoey's only redeeming anything, and the reason why she's not dead last on this list. Still, let it be known that Zoey is a boring, slow, overrated, stupid Mary Sue.

36. Bridgette Bridgette is ten times better than Zoey, yet she comes right after her in this list because it's all relatively speaking. Sure, Zoey makes her look like the world's most-developed character ever, but Zoey really, really, really sucks. So, being better than Zoey isn't exactly something to be proud of.

Bridgette was pretty cool in TDI, right off the bat. I like the Surfer Girl stereotype, if only because it reminds me of the Beach Boys and I like their music. The build-up to Gidgette was really great and it showed maturity on the writer's part not to have them kiss at her elimination, even if it was rather frustrating. Other than Gidgette, Bridgette honestly didn't do that much. A lot of her dialogue was really basic. Thankfully, the things she did do were rather interesting. Her conflicts with Eva and Duncan and her friendships with Gwen and Courtney were all great.

So why is she so low on this list? Well, let's not delude ourselves into thinking TDI is the only seasons that matters. Action and World Tour have a lot to say as well, and nothing they say about Bridgette is good. During the competition, all she did was make out with Geoff. During the aftermaths, she either fought with Geoff or made out with him, sometimes both at once. Despite her reputation for being the nice girl, she was rude and nosy when interviewing or talking about many of her one-time friends, such as Gwen. In fact, that brings up another point. Bridgette isn't really a nice girl. Besides Gwen, she's also been dismissive or rude to Harold, Zeke, Heather, and even Geoff. Her freaking boyfriend!

Now, what about World Tour? Did she improve there? Nope, she fell for Alejandro, got stuck to a pole, and eliminated. Fun. The WT aftermaths were essentially a repeat of Action: she fought and made out with Geoff, sometimes both at once. Then she had a random cameo in ROTI that didn't serve much purpose. Look, the claims that Bridgette hasn't done anything interesting on the show aren't true. She's done interesting things, but unfortunately, none of them actually make her a likable character.

35. Beth I liked Beth in TDI. I really did. Honestly, I think of liked all the nerds, geeks, and social outcasts of Total Drama at one point or the other. I'm a pretty social person myself but I feel a certain kinship with those nerds because I didn't always use to be. That's irrelevant, I know, but whatever.

Now in TDI, she was the first to show up and although her lisp was annoying, she was too optimistic to dislike, even when she refused to jump off the cliff. It was annoying to see her fall for Heather's alliance so easily, but she totally made up for it by telling her off. In fact, that was definitely one of the season's best moments. There were plenty of other things I liked about Beth, like her few interactions with Cody, failing at baton twirling, cursing her team with the idol, and more. Are you noticing a pattern here? A lot of my least favorite characters were awesome at first, only to be ruined by later season.

Well, in Beth's case, TDA is guilty of ruining her. I know a lot of people were happy her lisp was gone, but I actually thought she sounded weird without it. Her friendship with Lindsay was cool, for like, two episodes. And why did she listen to Justin at all? Didn't she learn her lesson with Heather?! She was forced down our throats throughout the season.

Actually, the random stuff she did and the random talents she exhibited could be compared to B. B had all these random abilities and quirks that didn't develop his character at all, so did she. Being good with animals, jumping really well, what was the point?! Sorry Beth, but we got just a little too much of you that season. Heck, a lot too much of you.

34. Geoff Boy, this is gonna be a controversial one. Please don't kill me, everyone. I kind of liked Geoff in TDI. Like I said, Gidgette was cute at first. Sadly, that's about the whole list of Geoff's redeeming qualities. Why was he mean to Harold along with Duncan? That doesn't seem like the kind of thing Bridgette would approve of. His friendships with DJ and Gwen were cool, but they was completely forgotten in future seasons. Like his significant other, Geoff was decent in TDI and sucktackular from then on.

I'd say he had a chance at doing well in TDA. He had lots of friends and now a girlfriend too. Too bad he blew it all away making out. Thank goodness we still got to see him as an aftermath host, right? Wrong. I despised him in the aftermaths. In TDA he essentially became Chris 2.0, minus the fact that Chris is funny, while Megalomaniac Geoff isn't. In TDWT he did nothing of interest besides moan about how Bridgette cheated on him. Shut up Geoff. No one cares. After that, he was just boring the rest of the season. That being said, there is one more good thing about him: the way he acted towards Blaineley. "Her Real Name Isn't Blaineley" was by far the best aftermath song!

33. Duncan There was a time when Duncan would've been at the absolute bottom of this list. That time is gone, but he's still not deserving of a spot higher than thirty-three. In Season One he started out as the stereotypical bad boy with a soft heart. Not only do I hate that stereotype, but I also think he didn't really bring anything new to it. Season One Duncney, however, was very different from the classic good girl/bad guy pairing, as we found out pretty quickly Courtney wasn't exactly 'good'. Duncney was the reason, I think, Duncan was a fan-favorite during the early days. I mean, what else of interest did he do that season? He was a jerk to Harold and he had a friendship with DJ and Geoff, seemingly only so he could use them to bully Harold more. That's right, Duncan fans. I think he used them.

But, forget that for now. On to TDA. Duncan didn't do all that much in the beginning, but once Courtney debuted he became increasingly featured and for a few episodes he and Courtney were practically the main characters. Duncney lost all its charm in this season (although it would regain some in the Celebrity Manhunt special) and Duncan himself just became more and more annoying. He was so close to being voted out so many times, but since he was a writer's pet he was pretty much untouchable. He in no way to deserved to make it to the final two, yet alone win.

On the bright side, he was close to burying the hatchet with Harold. Then freaking Owen ruined it. Screw you, Owen. Oh well. TDWT awaits. Duncan could have gotten in my good graces this season. He was pretty enjoyable for the first two episodes and his quitting seemed perfect timing. One of the biggest screenhogs would leave and give the other characters room for development, right? Hah. Nope. He came back instead of Ezekiel and hooked up with Gwen in the worst possible way ever. Then came the love triangle, and that ruined the entire third quarter of the season. Even once Gwen and Courtney were gone and the drama had died down, he had the nerve to make it to the final five again. Again!

The only reason he's ahead of six other people is All Stars. Of the fourteen campers who competed in that season, I'd say he's the only one whose character benefited. Maybe that's 'cause he was so terrible to begin with, but whatever. That's irrelevant. Point is, I legitimately liked him that season. In the previous seasons he'd been the bad guy with a soft heart, but he was still too bad for that heart to shine through, making it annoying whenever other characters saw him as nice. But in All Stars? Not only was he a softie, but he hated being a softie. That sounds like the perfect recipe for both humor and likability to me, and it was. That scene with the bird (you all know what I'm talking about) was hands-down the best moment of All Stars and one of the show's best overall. I'm also glad Gwuncan broke up and he ended up single. Blowing up Chris' 'cottage' was a really stupid thing to do, but like most of the things Duncan did that season, it was hilarious. Also, major props to Duncy boy for not making the final five again.

32. Mike When it comes to making this list, there are two ways to judge characters. You can look at everything they've done over the whole show and take the average of that, or you can base your rankings solely off what they've done most recently, and what they're like currently. In the case of Mike, I'm mixing both up. Were I to judge him overall, he'd be pretty high up. And what about him now, and only now? Well, this stick figure would be just about dead last.

Let's start with Revenge of the Island. I already stated on my thoughts on Zoke when I talked about Zoey a little while ago, but I might as well paraphrase them as you're probably either a lazy little bum who didn't bother to read what I wrote about Zoey, or you've got the shortest memory of all time. So, Zoke in ROTI was rushed in some ways, but not in others. It was still cute. All that came crashing down in All Stars, and now it sucks. I hope they break up if they ever show their faces again on the show.

Now, although there are complaints that Mike himself has no character, that was certainly made up for by his personalities. In season four all of his personalities were popping up all the time and it was hilarious. Let's talk a little about each of them, shall we? Chester is hilarious to the point of 'I'm laughing so hard I can't breathe'. The crabby old man is a great stereotype, and having Chester was a clever way to work it in to a show where almost all the main characters are teenagers.

Svetlana? Well, there's honestly not that much to say about her. She was good as a dues ex machina and her accent was awesome.

Vito himself was pretty funny, but his interest in Anne Maria made an awesome love triangle appear. The Gwuncany love triangle was a good example of how not to do a love triangle, while this polygon of romance was a good example of exactly how to do one right. Plus, I'll take Vito/Anne Maria over Zoke any day.

Manitoba Smith was a great Indiana Jones parody. He had lots of interesting character bits, such as his amazing sniffer, his slight sexism, his awesome accent (even more awesome than Svetlana's), and his brief conflict with Scott. Out of all six personalities, Manitoba is by far my favorite.

Next up we have Mal. Ugh. The use of Mal in All Stars meant that the four other alternate personalities were given far far less screen time. So, to make up for it, Mal would be the greatest antagonist of all time, right? Well, that's what I hoped, and I was very wrong. The only elimination he really caused was Alejandro's, and honestly, that guy already had it in for himself, considering everyone knew he was evil and it was only a matter of time before they gave him the boot. Other than that, he just broke people's stuff like a toddler on a temper tantrum. What a fricking let-down.

Mike (as in the personality, not the character) did little in All Stars himself. All he did was explore his brain and go on the least exciting quest of all time. Walk for a long time, open door, climb stairs, push button. Sounds fun. Then he came back to win the game, even though Mal had done all the work of getting him that far. Without Mal, Mike probably wouldn't even have made it to the merge in All Stars.

But, you know what the absolute worst thing is? All his personalities magically became just part of him. Not only did four great characters (and one sucky one) just completely disappear, but now Mike essentially has superpowers.

Now you see why I had to judge Mike on both what he is now and what he's been, don'tcha? 'Cause if these rankings were based only off current character incarnations, Mike would be spot number ten thousand on a list of thirty-nine.

31. Sierra Sierra started out as Cody's perfect karma. He stalked Gwen and other girls relentlessly, only to get his own stalker who was five times as passionate and fifty times as creepy.

30. Justin

29. Sam

28. Eva

27. Leshawna

26. Lindsay

25. Owen

24. Scott

23. Jo

22. DJ

21. Katie

20. Cameron

19. Dakota

18. Sadie

17. Anne Maria

16. Gwen

15. Dawn

14. Brick

13. Courtney

12. Staci

11. Alejandro

10. Cody

9. Trent

8. Harold

7. Mr. Coconut

6. Tyler

5. Lightning

4. Heather

3. Izzy

2. Ezekiel

1. Noah


My Life Soundtrack

1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc.)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool and a lot of the songs fit with the setting

Opening Credits: Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen (Well, we start off with one of the best songs of all time. Not sure it's a great opener, though. My life story's barely begun and I've already killed a man and wish I was never born at all? Not exactly a good start.)

Waking up: Live & Let Die by Paul McCartney & Wings (Waking up to a James Bond theme? Sounds overdramatic but very, very cool.)

First Day At School: Good Times Bad Times by Led Zeppelin (Makes sense, I guess you'd have both good and bad things happen to you. To be fair, the song focuses more on the bad things. Not liking what that implies.)

Falling In Love: While My Guitar Gently Weeps by The Beatles (My second favorite song, and my favorite Beatles song! Yay! Except it's about a guy talking to his friend about his friend's reluctance to love. Yeah. No. This movie is about me. Where's a song about me falling in love?!)

Fight Scene: Amanda by Boston (This does not fit at all. Am I fighting someone named Amanda? I'm confused.)

Breaking Up: Good Vibrations by The Beach Boys (I am NOT picking up good vibrations after this messy breakup. 'Nuff said.)

Prom night: Thriller by Michael Jackson (Is it a Halloween-themed prom? Or am I just thrilled to be dancing?)

Life: It's Time by Imagine Dragons (My whole life in general is about me trying to get a grip on life? Isn't that paradoxical?)

Mental Breakdown: Summer of '69 by Bryan Adams (I'm still trying to wrap my mind around this. Did I have a mental breakdown in the summer of '69? Pretty sure I wasn't born yet.)

Driving: Hello Goodbye by The Beatles (What, am I greeting someone on a cell phone while driving? That's illegal where I live. Don't talk and drive! Just don't.)

Flashback: The Long and Winding Road by The Beatles (First song on here that actually makes sense...kind of.)

Getting back together: God Only Knows by The Beach Boys (God only knows if we'll end up breaking up again? I guess.)

Wedding: We Didn't Start the Fire by Billy Joel (But are we fueling the fire by getting married?)

Birth of Child: Don't Pass Me By by The Beatles (Wow, a Ringo song! That's a rare occurrence. So, am I worried my newborn will pass me by. Not sure how that's possible, I don't think it can walk yet.)

Final Battle: Sail Away by Boston (I think this would make sense for AFTER the final battle. But sure, whatever. It's a nice song.)

Funeral Song: Strawberry Fields Forever by The Beatles (I want this played at my funeral in real life. No joke. Still, I don't get it. Are there infinite strawberry fields in heaven? I don't like strawberries. I'd prefer peaches.)

Final Credits: Rock N Roll Band by Boston (Nice up-tempo song to end off.)

If you believe in what this says, copy and paste it onto your profile: Our Father, who art in heaven, hallow be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day, our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who have trespassed against us. Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. Amen.

Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until they speak.

I'm not suffering from insanity. I'm enjoying every minute of it.

Apple Customer Support: Airplane Mode does not actually turn you iPhone into an airplane.

In life, there are certain facts. One of these is that dogs are better than cats.

Why did Nicki Minaj cross the road? Because bad music is legal there!

Movie Franchises you better watch if you haven't already:

Jurassic Park: (Jurassic Park, The Lost World, Jurassic Park III, Jurassic World [upcoming])

Lord of the Rings: (The Fellowship of the Ring, The Two Towers, Return of the King, The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug, The Hobbit: There and Back Again [upcoming])

Harry Potter: (The Sorcerer's Stone, The Chamber of Secrets, The Prisoner of Azkaban, The Goblet of Fire, The Order of the Phoenix, The Half-blood Prince, Deathly Hallows Part 1, Deathly Hallows Part 2)

Star Wars: (The Phantom Menace, Attack of the Clones, Revenge of the Sith, A New Hope, The Empire Strikes Back, Return of the Jedi, Episode VII [upcoming])


(TIAW Mr. Coconut Beatle over and out!)

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Cancelled story, If interested, read 'The Gambit' the reboot for this by ewisko reviews
This story will be rebooted. Please read the latest chapter to know what's exactly going on. And yes, I know you're all will be asking the same question, but before you do READ THE WHOLE LAST CHAPTER FIRST. It is addressed.
Total Drama series - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 17 - Words: 127,459 - Reviews: 214 - Favs: 93 - Follows: 100 - Updated: 11/11 - Published: 3/10/2014 - [Gwen, Noah] Alejandro, Scarlett - Complete
Total Drama Chaos! by Knifez reviews
Season 5. Thirty-eight contestants. Join I, Chris Mclean, as I host another season with the thirty-eight campers you've grown to love...seeing hurt! Tears, romance, strategy, the warm fuzzies and the cold shivers, we've got it all here in this spectacular final season! Complete, it's been one hell of a ride, guys, you're the best. (Rewrite of first 14 chapters in progress.)
Total Drama series - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 42 - Words: 340,998 - Reviews: 1039 - Favs: 118 - Follows: 116 - Updated: 10/17 - Published: 10/17/2012 - Chris M., Chef Hatchet, Mr. Coconut - Complete
Wonder what I think of them? by Wish I Was A Pirate reviews
Alejandro's always been known as someone who could figure out everybody's weaknesses, but until he stumbled upon this site called Fanfiction, he hasn't been very fond of sharing them. Join Alejandro as he rips to shreds as many former contestants on Total Drama he can!
Total Drama series - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 30 - Words: 24,294 - Reviews: 627 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 53 - Updated: 10/9 - Published: 1/18/2014 - Alejandro
Will to Live by Knifez reviews
(ITS BACK!) Season 5 is over, and all through the cast, not a creature was stirring, not even a... OH MY GOD, A HORDE OF ZOMBIES! The Total Drama gang are forced to survive a zombie apocalypse. Obviously, not everyone makes it through. Can the tattered remains of the TD gang survive zombies, bandits, and each other? Includes TDI-TDPI. (Rewrite for first eight chapters in-progress.)
Total Drama series - Rated: T - English - Horror/Adventure - Chapters: 12 - Words: 38,070 - Reviews: 177 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 60 - Updated: 5/24 - Published: 3/14/2013 - Chef Hatchet, Gwen, Noah, Harold
Total Drama Jurassic Park by I Am TIAW reviews
When Chris hosts Total Drama's 5th season on Isla Sorna, things are about to go deadly wrong. After a savage dinosaur attack kills many of the cast and crew, the remaining are forced on a desperate quest for survival. Who will survive, if anyone? And who will become a T-Rex's next meal? Supspense, adventure, and action all abound in Total Drama Jurassic Park. Final chapter now up!
Total Drama series - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Suspense - Chapters: 15 - Words: 55,197 - Reviews: 116 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 32 - Updated: 5/4/2014 - Published: 3/1/2013 - Complete
Tea Party Panic by Snakeshark196 reviews
Noah and Izzy have a tea party. Noah doesn't want to, but Izzy forces him to. Nizzy friendship.
Total Drama series - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,134 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 3 - Published: 4/18/2014 - Izzy, Noah - Complete
Heart Collector by Snakeshark196 reviews
Trent likes hearts. He likes to collect them. Rated M for blood. This is really a random one shot.
Total Drama series - Rated: M - English - Horror/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 456 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/8/2014 - Trent - Complete
Izzy and Dawn's Insane Adventure! by Wish I Was A Pirate reviews
Izzy was escaping the RCMP yet again when she came across a very sane girl called Dawn. Izzy had two goals now, A: Get away from the RCMP and B: Make this girl become as insane as her. Will she succeed in her 2 missions? Izzy better, or else she could be facing a LOT of jail time...
Total Drama series - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,763 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 4 - Published: 3/29/2014 - Izzy, Dawn - Complete
Trouble I Have Seen by Kamari the Mighty reviews
Twenty years after All-Stars, Dawn stands as the last living member of the Total Drama cast. Join her as she reflects on the events that led the others to their downfall. AU. Contains very little dialogue, just so you're aware. Rated M for violence, drug use, character death, language, and dark, mature themes.
Total Drama series - Rated: M - English - Tragedy/Angst - Chapters: 9 - Words: 10,407 - Reviews: 49 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 3/19/2014 - Published: 12/26/2013 - Dawn
Parenting Class by TheQueenofBooks1000 reviews
When Chris had to take parenting classes for his son, he never really knew what he was signing up for. Merry Christmas, TheImpossiblyAwesomeWriter.
Total Drama series - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,267 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 3 - Published: 12/19/2013 - Chris M., Owen, Trent
Total Drama Island Crossover by Asujoll reviews
Not a crossover, but a fan-written season using characters from both the original cast and the Revenge cast. Join Alejandro, B, Beth, Brick, Cody, Courtney, Dakota, Dawn, Eva, Ezekiel, Geoff, Harold, Jo, LeShawna, Lightning, Lindsay, Noah, Owen, Sierra, and Staci in Chris's newest batch of dangerous challenges on Camp Wawanakwa. Finally complete!
Total Drama series - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 68,200 - Reviews: 86 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 5/5/2013 - Published: 12/30/2012 - Complete
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Total Poem Drama reviews
Running out of ideas, Chris forces the campers to write poems of their experiences on the show. Some go a little crazy, but most write legitimate poems of all different styles and rhyme scenes. What started as Chris' bad idea becomes an awesome poem collection! Newest Poem: Zoey. Next Poem: Cameron.
Total Drama series - Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 39 - Words: 20,306 - Reviews: 228 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 10/19/2014 - Published: 7/5/2013
Lemons for Creepy Couples reviews
Let's face it, Total Drama has a lot of creepy couples. Ever wondered what happens when some of them try to get intimate? Well, now you have a chance to find out. From TrentX9 to Feral ZekeXAnne Maria, all the creepy couples will get their own lemon. Newest Lemon: ChefXLindsay. Next Lemon: ChefXIzzy.
Total Drama series - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 7,977 - Reviews: 53 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 10/19/2014 - Published: 3/24/2014
Library of One-Shots reviews
This is a collection of insane one-shots, with every chapter being its own unrelated story. Newest one-shot: Duncan lost a bet and has to spend a night in a ghost town on an abandoned island. Unfortunately for him, it's full of carnivorous donkeys. That's right, you heard me, carnivorous donkeys.
Total Drama series - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,353 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 10/19/2014 - Published: 3/28/2014 - Complete
Dennis' End reviews
Was Dennis Nedry really killed by the Dilophosaurus? After all, it was a small dino and a large meal. Short one-shot about Dennis' attempt to escape the island after surviving that incident.
Jurassic Park - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 704 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Published: 10/13/2014 - D. Nedry, Dilophosaurus, T Rex - Complete
Trent Versus Ten reviews
When Trent realizes Mike from ROTI has a ten-loving, nine-hating personality, he knows he must do something. He goes to drastic measures, but when Lindsay gets wrapped up in it, good things do not await the number cultist. Psycho Trent one-shot.
Total Drama series - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,449 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 1 - Published: 10/12/2014 - Trent, Mike, Lindsay - Complete
Total Drama Jurassic Park reviews
When Chris hosts Total Drama's 5th season on Isla Sorna, things are about to go deadly wrong. After a savage dinosaur attack kills many of the cast and crew, the remaining are forced on a desperate quest for survival. Who will survive, if anyone? And who will become a T-Rex's next meal? Supspense, adventure, and action all abound in Total Drama Jurassic Park. Final chapter now up!
Total Drama series - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Suspense - Chapters: 15 - Words: 55,197 - Reviews: 116 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 32 - Updated: 5/4/2014 - Published: 3/1/2013 - Complete
Steamboat Zeke reviews
Ezekiel is a steamboat captain in 1911 who, with the help of first mate Cody and a shady gambler named Geoff, conspires to win 100,000 by breaking the record for fastest ship. Unfortunately, things go disastrously badly, as usual.
Total Drama series - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,626 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/22/2014 - Ezekiel, Geoff, Cody, Heather - Complete
Trent's Ninesome reviews
Trent is feeling lusty and uses the Power of Nine to summon eight Total Drama girls and force them into the world's best ever ninesome.
Total Drama series - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,678 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 6 - Published: 4/8/2014 - Trent, Dakota, Bridgette - Complete
Mickey's Comeback reviews
Disney is dying, ever so slowly. There's no evil forces this time, it's just being forgotten. Day-to-day life in the cartoon world goes on, but characters long for better times. When Goofy suggests an adventure that turns into a wild ride, Mickey finds two forgotten characters from Disney's past. With their help, can he restart the House of Mouse and get Disney back on its feet?
Disney - Rated: K+ - English - Fantasy/Adventure - Chapters: 10 - Words: 12,972 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 4/3/2014 - Published: 5/10/2013
Gollum's Travels reviews
Gollum didn't die at the end of Return of the King. Far from it. He survived to the twenty-first century, a very anti-Gollum age. Each chapter follows Gollum around the world as he tries to survive, scare the crap out of people by accident, find another ring, and evade capture.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 6 - Words: 6,576 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 3/26/2014 - Published: 8/24/2013 - Gollum
Alejandro's Christmas Carol reviews
Alejandro has lived a lonely life, until he is visited by the ghost of a former friend. Can three more ghosts, showing him glimpses of the past, present, and future, convince him to find the love of his life? One-shot.
Total Drama series - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,348 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/14/2013 - Alejandro, Heather, Mike, Duncan - Complete
It's Not Over Until the Psycho Trent Leaves reviews
Trent was insane about nine all through TDI, unlike the edited final show would have you believe. So insane, in fact, that when he placed eleventh he refused to accept it and stayed on the island.
Total Drama series - Rated: K - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 697 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 2 - Published: 10/19/2013 - Trent - Complete
Ten's Too Many reviews
Trent is shocked to discover he has ten fingers. And ten toes too! He quickly realizes this must change. WARNING: Disturbing.
Total Drama series - Rated: T - English - Humor/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 379 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 3 - Published: 10/19/2013 - Trent - Complete
Trent's Life reviews
Trent's life, summed up in nine words. If you want a story that isn't impossibly short, then check out my other Psycho Trent one-shots.
Total Drama series - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Published: 10/19/2013 - Trent - Complete
Quest for Planet Nine reviews
When the ninth planet, Pluto, is demoted to a dwarf planet, Trent is enraged. He goes back in time to change things around, but only ends up making it worse than before.
Total Drama series - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 468 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 2 - Published: 10/19/2013 - Trent, Noah - Complete
Total Drama Twist reviews
When Chris brings back 13 campers to the island for the most hilarious and drama-filled season ever, awesomeness will abound! All your favorite characters are back and better than ever. Friendships, romances, alliances, betrayals, conflicts, and, uh, squirrels? It's all here on the fan-fiction you won't want to miss, Total, Drama, Twist! Currently being redone.
Total Drama series - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 19 - Words: 114,325 - Reviews: 62 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 10/19/2013 - Published: 1/14/2013
The Chaotic Adventures of Bony Bones reviews
One young Poptropican leaves his home on a quest for...nothing really. But he messes up a lot of things and gets deported, hopping from one island to the next, always on the search for fun, a real home or place to stay, and the evil group that is somehow connected to him. If you like Poptropica, humor, and fun, this story is for you! Currently on hiatus.
Misc. Games - Rated: K - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 40 - Words: 16,762 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 10/14/2013 - Published: 5/1/2013
This Is Trent reviews
Trent has a master plan to be completed nine days after his nineteenth birthday. He begins by kidnapping eight former campers to form a Circle of Nine, and from there on things get even crazier, with some of the abducted being even insaner than Trent himself! One-shot.
Total Drama series - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,517 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/14/2013 - Trent, Harold, Heather, Cody - Complete
Random Crap reviews
The title says it all. Three-shot.
Total Drama series - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,502 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 3 - Updated: 9/13/2013 - Published: 9/9/2013 - Complete
Ezekiel's Bad Choice reviews
When Zeke the Freak is faced with a common plot device decision, he makes a very unstereotypical choice. And goes insane. One-shot.
Total Drama series - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 696 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 4 - Published: 7/13/2013 - Ezekiel, Chris M. - Complete
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