Name: Thallyson

Age: 20

Dragon Ball pact.

"This pact is meant to hold together the remaining fans of Dragon Ball/Z/GT. Whether you like the FUNimation dub or the Ocean dub, whether you like the manga or the anime, whether you say 'Saiyan' or 'Saiyajin', we must stand strong and united, for we are the last of our dying race. And all those who are true fans, post this up on your page, forever proclaiming your Dragon Ball heritage. Be proud, for you are a true Saiyan!

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions and your not afraid to admit it, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: Danyan, Avatarwolf, Shifter-youkai, AkatsukiFan, Chocolate Chan, Staring.out.my.flooded.window, Hotaru Matsumoto, randomnessgirl, Double Princess, Little Sakura Blossom, Demonically Angelic Neko88, GammaTron, Thallys94

OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE (Found on BlackSaint's and fujin of shadows Profiles)

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

At age 8, your dad buys you an ice cream. You thanked him by dripping it all over his lap.

When you were 9 years old, he paid for piano lessons. You thanked him by never even bothering to practice.

When you were 10 years old he drove you all day, from soccer to football to one birthday party after another. You thanked him by jumping out of the car and never looking back.

When you were 11 years old, he took you and your friends to the movies. You thanked him by asking to sit in a different row.

When you were 12 years old, he warned you not to watch certain TV shows. You thanked him by waiting until he left the house.

When you were 13, he suggested a haircut that was in fashion. You thanked him by telling him he had no taste.

When you were 14, he paid for a month away at summer camp. You thanked him by forgetting to write a single letter.

When you were 15, he came home from work, looking for a hug. You thanked him by having your bedroom door locked.

When you were 16, he taught you how to drive his car. You thanked him by taking it every chance you could.

When you were 17, he was expecting an important call. You thanked him by being on the phone all night.

When you were 18, he cried at your high school graduation. You thanked him by staying out partying until dawn.

When you were 19, he paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus carried your bags. You thanked him by saying good-bye outside the dorm so you wouldn't be embarrassed in front of your friends.

When you were 25, he helped to pay for your wedding, and he told you how deeply he loved you. You thanked him by moving halfway across the country.

When you were 50, he fell ill and needed you to take care of him . You thanked him by reading about the burden parents become to their children.

And then, one day, he quietly died. And everything you never did came crashing down like thunder on your heart.

If you love your dad, post this on your profile.

Loveless

Prologue (Poem)
When the war of the beasts brings about the world's end
The goddess descends from the sky
Wings of light and dark spread afar
She guides us to bliss, her gift everlasting

Act I (Poem)
Infinite in mystery is the gift of the goddess
We seek it thus, and take to the sky
Ripples form on the water's surface
The wandering soul knows no rest.

Act II (Poem)
There is no hate, only joy
For you are beloved by the goddess
Hero of the dawn, Healer of worlds

Dreams of the morrow hath the shattered soul
Pride is lost
Wings stripped away, the end is nigh

Act III (Poem)
My friend, do you fly away now?
To a world that abhors you and I?
All that awaits you is a somber morrow
No matter where the winds may blow

My friend, your desire
Is the bringer of life, the gift of the goddess

Even if the morrow is barren of promises
Nothing shall forestall my return

Act IV (Poem)
My friend, the fates are cruel
There are no dreams, no honor remains
The arrow has left the bow of the goddess

My soul, corrupted by vengeance
Hath endured torment, to find the end of the journey
In my own salvation
And your eternal slumber

Legend shall speak
Of sacrifice at world's end
The wind sails over the water's surface
Quietly, but surely

Act V (Poem)
Even if the morrow is barren of promises
Nothing shall forestall my return
To become the dew that quenches the land
To spare the sands, the seas, the skies
I offer thee this silent sacrifice

Encontrado no profile de Roanes Steel

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back."The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The Cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll."

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''

Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

"It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas.

She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there."

His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall."

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me."

"I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister."

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

"OK" he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!"

Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!''

"I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''

"My mommy loves white roses."

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma.

Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine.

And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Now you have 2 choices:

1) Repost this message, or

2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart

Honorary Member of The Book of Log.

If you worship the holyness that is the log, copy and paste this section onto your profile

Position: Log Worshiper

Possible Book of Log Positions: Log Worshiper: Beginning position. No requirements

Log Priest: You have created at least 1 Naruto related fanfic that frequently (every 2-4 chapters) praises the almighty log and actually fits into the story

Log Pope (there can be more than 1 pope... its safer that way): you have created 3 naruto related fanfics that frequently praise the almighty log

OR the Fanfic that already occasionally praises the log has at least 400 reviews

OR you create a (decently made) Naruto fanfic focused on praising the log... log forbid.

Excerpt of the log number 124: when using the log to escape a fire jutsu, it is konoha custom to write an apology letter to the log, and depending on rank of jutsu escaped from depicts how many words are needed. c-rank, two thousand, B-rank, one thousand five hundred, a-rank, one thousand. only S-rank and higher are excused from the writing of the letter; even then, it is still recommended.

Log excerpt number 231: If konoha shinobi celebrate the holiday of Christmas, then it is required that they put gifts under the Christmas log. Use of a full tree is an insult to the log and if found out, that shinobi is ineligible from using the log for a period of two months.

Log excerpt number 437: Use of the log in a situation that clearly could be avoided using a variety of other methods or techniques is looked down upon. In order to repent for such actions, the following steps should be taken:

For every dent caused by your replacement you shall plant one sapling.

For every stab wound caused by your replacement you shall plant five
saplings.

For every hole in the log caused by your replacement you shall plant ten
saplings.

For every detached piece of the log caused by your replacement you shall
plant one sapling per square inch of detached log.

For a destroyed and unusable log caused by your replacement you shall plant
twenty-five saplings.

If your log is defective you may call 1-800-BAD-LOGS to file a complaint. If
your case is proven correctly your next replacement will be half off.

'and the willow sayeth unto the ninja: wherefore dost I weep? 'tis tears of joy, as thy kin and mine together fell thine foes, who would bring the axe and torch to the wood. the log ist thine ally, and mine kin. calling upon the log, is to call upon me. to aid thee in battle, i weep my tear of joy.
and the ninja spoke: yea, thee and thine kin shall forever be blessed among me and mine kin. for thine bravery will never be forgotten.'
-book of the log, song of the willow, verses 1-4

'as the log takes your place, you become the log, the log becomes you; for a moment, you are an extension of the logs blessing unto ninja.'
-book of the log, chronicle of the replacement verse 3

'you are fools! your log is but a mockery of the power of ninja!- the ninja from the desert declared. and the people shook their heads.
you have been denied the log for a long time, sandwalker. we cannot force you to see the glory of the log, but know this. when the time comes, and you have no other allies to call upon, the log will hear your prayers, and aid you.'
-book of the log, redwood journals verses 15-16

'and as the smoke cleared, his foe stared in awe at the log. Blackened and charred, the log crumbled. the ninja, filled with righteous wrath, fell upon his foe and slew him. he made his way to the log, and wept. His companion, the log that had accompanied him through so many battles, was no more. He spoke thus to his fallen companion: though now you have fallen in battle, you rest where the logs forever grow, the forest of life called for you, and you answered its call, as you did mine. I thank you my friend.'
-book of the log, honor of the forest canticle I, verses 78-82

'He despaired, for in this place of stone and earth, there was no logs to be found. reaching out with all his might, he begged for a log in the forsaken wasteland. and he was answered, and saved by the log, in a place where there were none.
-book of the log, wanderers saga, verses 7-9

'The log took his place and fell, forever into the abyss. the people, hearing of this, railed against him, in such numbers he swore to never endanger another log again. for many years, he fought without the log, growing more and more weary with each passing day. Finally, he came across a foe that was too strong for him. As his life was about to end, he felt a familiar pull, and found himself out of harms way, seeing a log in his place. his stunned foe was felled in his stupor, and he approached the log, he knew it, for it was the same that fell so long ago. he asked of the log: why did you endanger yourself for me again? have you not done enough for me? and the log spoke: it is my duty, and our bond. we exist to save the ninja, and they exist to save the trees. we both play a part, for which i am content.'
-book of the log, honor of the forest canticle II, verses 59-70

Let it be known that it is absolutely forbidden to willingly perform the technique known as "1000 years of death" on a log. It is also equally frowned upon for one to replace oneself with a holy log for the purpose of avoiding said technique. The punishment for such actions is at least 6 months of banishment from the use of the holy log.

100 Rules of Anime

The laws of Anime is a growing list of physical, universal, and natural
phenomenon that seem to appear in various forms in all sorts of anime. The original
intent was an effort to classify these incidents into a list of "laws" that
explained how Anime physics are different from our own (real?) world. It is our hope
that you find them useful to studying Anime, or at the very least, worth a good
chuckle.

#1 - Law of Metaphysical Irregularity- The normal laws of physics do not apply.

#2 - Law of Differential Gravitation- Whenever someone or something jumps, is
thrown, or otherwise is rendered airborne, gravity is reduced by a factor of 4.
Some things have been known to "Float" for a few seconds before plummeting to hit
the ground, vehicle, or someone’s cranium.

#3 - Law of Sonic Amplification, First Law of Anime Acoustics- In space, loud
sounds, like explosions, are even louder because there is no air to get in the way.

#4 - Law of Constant Thrust, First Law of Anime Motion- In space, constant thrust
equals constant velocity.

#5 - Law of Mechanical Mobility, Second Law of Anime Motion- The larger a
mechanical device is, the faster it moves, Armoured Mecha are the fastest objects
known to human science.

#6 - Law of Temporal Variability- Time is not a constant. Time stops for the hero
whenever he does something "cool" or "impressive". Time slows down when friends and
lovers are being killed and speeds up whenever there is a fight.

#7 - First Law of Temporal Mortality- "Good Guys" and "Bad Guys" both die in one of
two ways - either so quick they don’t even see it coming, OR it’s a long drawn out
affair where the character gains much insight to the workings of society, human
existence or why the toast always lands butter side down. NOTE: Sometimes, Anime
heroes or villains never really die! In these rare cases they were a clone or cyborg
and the real hero/villain’s suspiciously missing in "Malletspace", or something.

#8 - Second Law of Temporal Mortality- It takes some time for bad guys to die...
regardless of physical damage. Even when the "Bad Guys" are killed so quickly they
don’t even see it coming, it takes them a while to realize they are dead. This is
attributed to the belief that being evil damages the Reality Lobe of the brain.

#9 - Law of Dramatic Emphasis- Scenes involving extreme amounts of action are
depicted with either still frames or black screens with a slash of bright color
(usually red or white).

#10- Law of Dramatic Multiplicity- Scenes that only happen once, for instance, a
"Good Guy" kicks the "Bad Guy" in the face, are seen at least 3 times from 3
different angles.

#11- Law of Inherent Combustibility- Everything explodes. Everything.
First Corollary- Anything that explodes bulges first.
Second Corollary- Large cities are the most explosive substances known to
human science. Tokyo in particular seems to be the most unstable of these cities,
sometimes referred to as "The Matchstick City".

#12- Law of Phlogistatic Emission- Nearly all things emit light from fatal wounds.

#13- Law of Energetic Emission- There is always an energy build up (commonly
referred to as an energy "bulge") before Mecha or space craft weapons fire. Because
of the explosive qualities of weapons, it is believed that this is related to the
Law of Inherent Combustibility.

#14- Law of Inverse Lethal Magnitude- The destructive potential of any
object/organism is inversely proportional to its mass.
First Corollary- Small and cute will always overcome big and ugly. Also
known as the A-Ko phenomenon.

#15- Law of Inexhaustibility- No one EVER runs out of ammunition. That is of
course unless they are cornered, out-numbered, out-classed, and unconscious.

#16- Laws of Inverse Accuracy- The accuracy of a "Good Guy" when operating any form
of firearm increases as the difficulty of the shot increases. The accuracy of the
"Bad Guys" when operating firearms decreases when the difficulty of the shot
decreases. (Also known as the Stormtrooper Effect) Example: A "Good Guy" in a
drunken stupor being held upside down from a moving vehicle will always hit, and
several battalions of "Bad Guys" firing on a "Good Guy" standing alone in the middle
of an open field will always miss.
First Corollary- The more "Bad Guys" there are, the less likely they will
hit anyone or do any real damage.
Second Corollary- Whenever a "Good Guy" is faced with insurmountable odds,
the "Bad Guys" line up in neat rows, allowing the hero to take them all out with a
single burst of automatic fire and then escape.
Third Corollary- Whenever a "Good Guy" is actually hit by enemy fire, it is
in a designated "Good Guy Area", usually a flesh wound in the shoulder or arm,
which restricts the "Good Guy" from doing anything more strenuous than driving,
firing weaponry, using melee weapons, operating heavy machinery, or doing complex
martial arts maneuvers.
Fourth Corollary- The more times the "Bad Guy" fires, the fewer times he
will hit.

#17- Law of Transient Romantic Unreliability- Minimei is a bimbo. (Note: The
Minority Opposition in Ohio disagrees and thinks all men who like this stuff needs
to get out more.)

#18- Law of Hemoglobin Capacity- the human body contains over 12 gallons of blood,
sometimes more, under high pressure.

#19- Law of Demonic Consistency- Demons and other supernatural creatures have at
least three eyes, loads of fangs, tend to be yellow-green or brown, but black is not
unknown, and can only be hurt by bladed weapons. Also, acid has been known to work
just as well...

#20- Law of Militaristic Unreliability- Huge galaxy-wide armadas, entire armies, and
large war machines full of cruel, heartless, bloodthirsty warriors can be stopped
and defeated with a single insignificant example of a caring/loving emotion or a
song.
First Corollary- Whenever a single war machine (mecha, starship, etc.) goes
up against an entire army, the army always loses.

#21- Law of Tactical Unreliability- Tactical geniuses aren’t...

#22 -Law of Inconsequential Undetectability- People never notice the little
things... like missing body parts, or wounds the size of Seattle.

#23- Law of Juvenile Intellectuality- Children are smarter than adults. And almost
twice as annoying.

#24- Law of Americanthromorphism- Americans in Anime appear in one of two roles,
either as a really nasty skinny "Bad Guy" or a big stupid "Good Guy".
First Corollary- The only people who are more stupid than the big dumb
Americans are the American translators. (Sometimes referred to as the Green Line
Effect)
Second Corollary- The only people who are more stupid than the American
translators are the American editors and censors.
Third Corollary- Canadians are usually portrayed as smart, strong, handsome
"Good Guys".

#25- Law of Mandibular Proportionality- The size of a person’s mouth is directly
proportional to the volume at which they are speaking or eating.

#26- Law of Feline Mutation- Any half-cat/half-human mutation will invariably:
1) be female.
2) will possess ears and sometimes a tail as a genetic mutation.
3) wear as little clothing as possible, if any.

#27- Law of Conservation of Firepower- Any powerful weapon capable of
destroying/defeating an opponent in a single shot will invariably be reserved and
used as a last resort.

#28- Law of Technological User-Benevolence- The formal training required to operate
a spaceship or mecha is inversely proportional to its complexity.

#29- Law of Melee Luminescence- Any being displaying extremely high levels of
martial arts prowess and/or violent emotions emits light in the form of a glowing
aura. This aura is usually blue for "Good Guys" and red for "Bad Guys". This is
attributed to Good being higher in the electromagnetic spectrum than Evil.

#30- Law of Non-Anthropomorphic Antagonism- All ugly, non-humanoid alien races are
hostile, and usually hell-bent on destroying humanity for some obscure reason.

#31- Law of Follicular Chromatic Variability- Any color in the visible spectrum is
considered a natural hair color. This color can change without warning or
explanation.

#32- Law of Follicular Permanence- Hair in anime is pretty much indestructible, and
can resist any amount of meteorological conditions, energy emissions, physical
abuse, or explosive effects and still look perfect. The only way to hurt someone’s
hair is the same way you deal with demons... with bladed weapons!

#34- Law of Probable Attire- Clothing in anime follows certain predictable
guidelines: Female characters wear as little clothing as possible, regardless of
whether it is socially or meteorologically appropriate. Any female with an excessive
amount of clothing will invariably have her clothes ripped to shreds or torn off
somehow. If there is no opportunity to tear off aforementioned female’s clothes,
then she will inexplicably take a shower for no apparent reason (also known as the
Gratuitous Shower Scene). Whenever there is a headwind, Male characters invariably
wear long cloaks that don’t hamper movement and billow out dramatically behind them.
First Corollary (Cryo-Adaptability)- All anime characters are resistant to
extremely cold temperatures, and do not need to wear heavy or warm clothing in snow.
Second Corollary (Indecent Invulnerability)- Bikinis render the wearer
invulnerable to any form of damage.
Third Corollary (Probable Attire permanence)- The clothing on the hero is
indestructible. Their capes, robes, (and if they are girls,) skirts, dresses, bows,
or any loose clothing will just flap when they are in the middle of a fire or ice
attack... Unless it's a hentai. It is believed that the clothes are made out of
Anime Character hair. (re. Laws 32 & 48)

#35- Law of Musical Omnipotence- Any character capable of musical talent (singing,
playing an instrument, etc. Is automatically capable of doing much more "simple"
things, like piloting mecha, fighting crime, stopping an intergalactic war, and so
on... especially if they’ve never attempted these things before.

#36- Law of Quintupular Agglutination- Also called "The Five-man Rule", when "Good
Guys" group together, it tends to be in groups of five. There are five basic
positions, which are:
1) The Hero/Leader
2) His Girlfriend
3) His Best Friend/Rival
4) A Hulking Brute
5) A Dwarf/Kid
Between these basic positions are distributed several attributes, which include:
1) Extreme Coolness
2) Amazing Intelligence
3) Incredible Irritation

#37- Law of Extradimensional Capacitance- All anime females have an
extrasdimensional storage space of variable volume somewhere on their person from
which they can instantly retrieve any object at a moment’s notice. This mysterious
dimension is commonly called "Malletspace".
First Corollary (AKA The Hammer Rule)- The most common item stored is a
heavy mallet, costumes/uniforms, power suits/armor, and large bazookas.

#38- Law of Hydrostatic Emission- Eyes tend to be rather large in Anime. This is
because they contain several gallons of water, which may be instantaneously released
at high pressure through large tear ducts. The actual volume of water contained in
the eyes is unknown, as there is no evidence to suggest that these reservoirs are
actually capable of running out. The reason water tends to collect in the eyes is
because Anime characters only have one large sweat gland, which is located at the
back of the head. When extremely stressed , embarrassed, or worried, this sweat
gland exudes a single but very large drop of sebaceous fluid.

#39- Law of Inverse Attraction- Success at finding suitable mates is inversely
proportionate to how desperately you want to be successful. The more you want, the
less you get and vice-versa.
First Corollary- Unfortunately, this law seems to apply to Otaku in the real
world...

#40- Law of Nasal Sanguination- When sexually aroused, males in Anime don’t get
erections, they get nosebleeds. No one’s sure why this is, though... the current
theory suggests that larger eyes means smaller sinuses and thinner sinus tissue (see
Law #38 above). Females don’t get nosebleeds, but invariably get one heck of a blush
along the cheeks and across the nose, suggesting a lot of bloodflow to that region.

#41- Law of Xylolaceration- Wooden or bamboo swords are just as sharp as metal
swords, if not sharper.

#42- Law of Juvenile Omnipotence- Always send a boy to do a man’s job. He’ll get it
done in half the time and twice the angst.

#43- Law of Triscaquadrodecophobia- There is no Law #43.

#44- Law of Nominative Clamovocation- the likelihood of success and damage done by a
martial arts attack is directly proportional to the volume at which the full name of
the attack is announced (known as the Kamehameha effect).

#45- Law of Uninteruptable Metamorphosis- Regardless of how long or involved the
transformation sequence or how many times they’ve seen it before, any "Bad Guys"
witnessing a mecha/hero/heroine transforming are too stunned to do anything to
interrupt it.

#46- Law of Flimsy Incognition- Simply changing into a costume or wearing a teensy
mask can make you utterly unrecognizable to even your closest friends and relatives.

#47- Law of Mandibular Combustible Emission- All anime characters seem to have some
unknown chemical on their breath that reacts VERY violently with extremely hot or
spicy food. This chemical may also be responsible for the phenomenon of fire behind
the eyes and from the mouth when a character (usually a female) is really angry.

#48- Law of Electrical and Combustible Survivalism- If you get electrocuted or
burned, YOU WILL SURVIVE!! Though your entire body will be scorched, seconds later,
your skin won’t have a trace of damage (Also known as the "Pikachu Effect").
First Corollary- When a magical bad guy/Alien/monster fires off a flame,
wind, or ice attack, the resulting effect is only enough for the hero(es)/heroine(s)
to be standing in the "Walking Against the Wind" stance, with his/her eyes shut and
letting out a pathetic "Aaaaagh!", and yet they are never harmed. This may be in
part to laws 32, 34 and sometimes 44.

#49- Law of Female wrath- If a male character insults a female character, he will
get a mallet, shotgun, or tank blast, or if she is a character that can perform
magical feats, a fireball or whatever, to the head, body or whatever (Also known as
the "Lina Inverse/Gourry Factor") This is because he always deserves it, and will
help him to cope in today’s society. (Sniff Sniff

#50- Law of Artistic Perversion- Most (not all) Anime artists are perverts and are
under the impression that girls are willing to tear off their clothes, or wear VERY
small, revealing outfits at the drop of a pin (or pen for that matter).
Unfortunately, most Hentai fans are under the same impression.

#51- Law of Uninteruptable Nominative Clamovocation- This law is a mixture of Laws
44 and 45. Regardless of how long or involved the Spell or projectile attack is, and
the likelihood of success and damage done by the volume at which the full name of
the attack is announced, or how many times they’ve seen it before, any "Bad Guys"
witnessing a hero/heroine quoting the incantations for an extremely powerful attack
are too stunned to do anything to interrupt it. (Also known as the "Dragon Slave
Phenomenon")

52- Law of Telepathic Obliviousness- Most of the time, some Anime characters
(usually males) will think personal (Like that he/she has sabotaged something), or
perverted thoughts, while near some other character, WHO’S TELEPATHIC!! The reasons
for this are:
1) They forgot that the person is telepathic.
2) They just don’t give a damn.
The reasons the telepathic person doesn’t react are:
1) They’re preoccupied with doing something else.
2) They’d rather keep the fact to themselves that they are Telepathic.
3) They just don’t give a damn.

#53- Law of Chromatic Diversity- Air can be any color of the viewable spectrum.

#54- Law of Old Man Comic Relief- Comic relief comes in the form of a short, bald,
wise-mouthed dirty old man or alien. Or the combination of any two of those traits.
First Corollary- If old man is present, and is acting too horny, stupid,
etc., there will invariably be an old woman to whap him over the head with a frying
pan or something.

#55- Law of the Wise Old Man- Little old Japanese men always know how it ends and
withhold the ending from anyone, especially the hero. This includes special power
weapons, ancient relics, and people who know everything.

#56- Law of Omnipotent Unreliability- Any "Bad Guy" with Omnipotent powers/weapons
will never use those powers/weapons against the "Good Guy" until it is too late.
First Corollary- All "Bad Guys" suffer from Antagonistic Boasting Syndrome
which require all "Bad Guys" to threaten with or exemplify their prowess and not use
it against the "Good Guy".
Second Corollary- No "Bad Guy" may use any new, secret, or superior military
device without one of the following events occurring:
a) The control device being broken.
The control device being taken by the "Good Guy".
c) The control device is in fact not the real device at all and was just
"fooled" by the "Good Guy".
d) The "Bad Guy" has already lost and cannot use the device.

#57- Law of Minimum Corneal Volume- Eyeballs may make up no less than one sixth of
the face’s total surface area. More so if the case is a blonde woman.

#58- Law of Electrical Charges in Hair- Hair attracts electricity in abundance,
resulting in two outcomes:
a) A positive charge will result in the spikes-flying-everywhere-behind-me
look.
A negative charge will result in the
hair-cascading-down-to-the-waist-in-a-single-sheet look.

#59- Law of Ammunition Accuracy- When there are multiple types of ammunition
available (paintballs, speaker pods), non-lethal rounds will always be more accurate
when compared to "standard" or lethal shots. (Macross Plus for paintballs, Macross 7
for speaker pods)

#60- Law of Active Female Attraction- In a comedy series, a male character’s
attractiveness to women is inversely proportional to how active they pursue them.
(Tenchi, Ranma, and Makoto OVA have a seemingly endless supply of willing
girlfriends despite their lack of romantic skill while Happosai, Ataru, and Carrot
couldn’t get a date despite or because of their constant attempts.)

#61- Law of Sweat Pore Variability- When a person is embarrassed, caught in an
awkward situation, or otherwise humiliated, all sweat pores on the body contract,
except for ones on the forehead. These pores expand to such a degree that a single
drop could fill a Big Gulp from 7-11.

#62- The Law of Inverse Training Time- A person who has been training for 3 years
is never as good as someone who has been training for one month.

#63- Law of Needs to Few and Many- The needs of the many, outweigh the needs of the
few... of even the one.

#64- Law of Bad Humor- Whenever someone says something that is intended to be
funny, whether actually funny or not, the rest of the characters (even animals) fall
to the ground with their feet in the air. Sweat sometimes accompanies the fall.
(The sound of a cow mooing usually accompanies the joke as well.)

#65- Law of Extreme Anger- Whenever a female character gets mad, such as seeing the
male character with another girl, she becomes extremely strong (despite her usually
helpless look) so that she can lift a 1000 ton object to hurt the guy. She can
sometimes perform other punishments that are just as cruel such as pinching the
guy’s face so hard that it changes shape. (see law #49)

#66- Law of Differentiated Gravitation-
First Corollary- If the airborne entity exceeds an altitude equal or greater
than two times the height of the entity, gravity is decreased by an inverse
coefficient relative to the upward momentum and mass/weight (if within at least
500 km of any gravity source) of the entity "jumping".
Second Corollary- The amount of Newtonian "opposite force" (in accordance to
normal downward velocity; "Earth gravity" speed is equal to 32ft/sec/sec) is also
inversely proportional to the "actual" speed of the airborne entity. In all
actuality, an entity that appears to be flying towards a solid concrete parking lot
from space will actually land, producing an opposite force of approximately 1.73 lb.
of pressure. Unless this particular entity is a "Bad Guy". Then the law exhibits a
mysterious exponentially proportional Newtonian opposite force, thusly increasing
this variable by a factor equal to the inverse-gravity potential.

#67- Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension- In any situation where the
Ambient Dramatic Tension increases, the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient must be
increased by a proportional amount to compensate. In any situation where this does
not happen, the "Bad Guy" inevitably comes out on top. However, this usually leads
to a further rise in the Ambient Dramatic tension, which will always be offset by
an exponential increase in the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient.

#68- Law of Coercive Vehicular Control- No matter how complex or well defined the
control system, a character controlling a vehicle of any sort always does so through
means of undetectable subconscious psychokinesis.
First Corollary- Characters can perform actions with their vehicles which
clearly defy normal physics (see Laws of Metaphysical Irregularity and Constant
Thrust). The velocity, attitude and traction of the vehicle appear to be adjusted at
will, with the degree of absolute control being proportional to the complexity and
lethality of the maneuver.
Second Corollary- It is effectively impossible to remove characters from or
disrupt the passage of their vehicles without the character’s consent. This does not
always apply to "Bad Guy" characters, or "Good Guy" characters in situations where
the Ambient Dramatic Tension could increase in accordance with the Law of
Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension.

#69- Amendment to the Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension- In any
situation where the Ambient Dramatic Tension increases without a corresponding
increase in the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient, not only does the "Bad Guy" usually
come out on top, but also his Smugness Factor increases in proportion to the rise in
Ambient Dramatic Tension.

#70- Law of The Rushing Background Effect- Whenever something dramatic occurs, a
survival instinct engages, thus rendering all incoming stimulus that is not directly
and immediately to the dramatic situation at hand a meaningless blur. This is often
referred to as "The Rushing Background Effect". Due to the increase in brain
activity and adrenaline levels in the bloodstream, the scene is often played out in
slow motion.

#71- Law of Interdimensional Hammers- Whenever a female character witnesses a male
character of her preference performing any sort of questionable act (i.e. Looking at
another girl or anything she might construe as perverted) she can reach into an
interdimensional realm (usually behind her back) and withdraw a huge Anime Mallet of
Doom with which to whack the said male over the head with. (see Laws # 37, 49, and
65)

#72- Law of Instant Band-Aids- Whenever a character is injured (usually in a head
shot, maybe from a mallet whack) Band-Aids will always instantly appear on the
wounded individual (and always in pairs, set in a cross fashion). These bandages
will then, most likely, disappear by the character’s next scene.

#73- Law of Universal Edge Defense- Any projectile attack, from a blast of magic to
a hail of bullets, can be easily defended against by holding a suitably cool-looking
sword or other bladed weapon between the attacker and defender, usually so that the
edge cuts into the incoming attack(s), causing both halves to go flying harmlessly
past the defender. Observed most often in fantasy and martial arts anime.

#74- Law of Intractable Sanity- There is no such thing as insanity in anime. When
faced with horrifying supernatural forces that would drive most men mad, anime
characters will either:
a) Die quickly (but in accordance with all other laws e.g., slowdown and
exposition),
Get possessed by them, especially if they are beautiful girls or men in a
position to ravish beautiful girls, or
c) Kill them, wipe the blood off their blades, and walk on whistling.

#75- Law of Celestial Body Control- At a dramatically correct moment, a hero can
summon a sun/moon/halo to appear behind him/her to cause a dramatic silhouette.

#76- Law of Aura of Forgetfulness- Any hero who wishes his/her identity to remain a
secret will invariably succeed regardless of disguise because everyone around
him/her will forget everything. Otherwise, how does Sailor Moon keep her disguise?

#77- Law of Cool Hair Factor- The hair of a hero will always coalesce into thick
strands that drape his face into a dramatic fashion, regardless of wind, the
elements, etc. (see Laws 32 & 48)

#78- Law of Inverse Coping- Any single event will happen to the ONE character LEAST
capable of dealing with it.

#79- Law of Martial Arts Training Invulnerability- The Myth that certain martial
arts will enable you to become so strong, that you can stop a nuclear warhead with
your bare palm. Unfortunately, for most otaku, they found the hard way that it just
doesn’t work in real life...

#80- Law of Stereotype Captain characteristics- If a captain of any type of ship is
male, he will invariably wear a big captain’s cap, a long overcoat, and have a
shaggy beard and mustache (pipe optional), and be a great tactician. If the captain
is female, however, she will invariably be young, well endowed, and ditzy as a pole
(horny father optional). Yet, she too will be a great tactician.

#81- Law of Shades/Coolness Factor- Shades can make you instantly cool, even if
you’re normally a klutz.

#82- Law of Hentai Plot- The proper response to any change in the plotline of a
Hentai anime is to start having sex.

#83- Law of Understatement- Anything that is deemed too impossible will become
possible.
First Corollary- Any "Bad Guy" stating "T-that’s impossible!" whenever the
hero is accomplishing some new feat/move/projectile will find out too late that he
is wrong and will invariably be toastied.

#84- Law of Dormant Powers- Anytime a hero is somehow outpowered and/or outclassed
by the villain, he will invariably release powers/new moves he never knew he could
accomplish... but his old teacher did!

#85- Law of Style Coefficient- In a situation where a Good guy may be in dire
straits, he will become stronger, smarter and more cool in a matter of seconds. (see
Laws #67, 69, and 84)

#86- Law of Bad Guy Smugness Factor- Whenever the villain actually succeeds in
beating the hero, they will begin to gloat uncontrollably, because they’ve never won
against the "Good Guy" (because they’re Eeeviiil!!). They usually get so cocky, they
tie the hero to a conveyor belt leading to his doom and leave to get a snack.
Usually this results in:
a) The hero escaping.
Clean-up for the underlings.
c) The villain getting toastied.

#87- Law of Tableware Nonexistence- There IS no spoon.

#88- Law of Goofy Turn-Ons- In Hentai, ordinary , pedestrian objects sometimes have
the magical power of either inducing orgasm or arousal. Some include warm water,
rolling on a smooth tabletop, wind, mild electrocution, the character toweling
themselves after a bath/shower, and very cold objects... like bottles of 7-up.

#89- Law of Penile Variance- All Anime men in Hentai have a ridiculously large
penis (lengths of 8, 9, 10 and 11 inches are most common). Some even have ones the
size of telephone poles, despite the blood loss that would accompany it...

#90-Law of Hentai Female Characteristics- All Hentai women have the following
characteristics:
1) Very sensitive and/or very large breasts with large nipples.
2) Very tight and/or sensitive vaginas.

#91- Law of Vaginal Variance- Hentai Anime women can take penis lengths of 8" and
up... completely... despite the fact that they might have a tight and/or sensitive
vagina.

#92- Law of Hero Identification- All heroes are introduced by way of appearance
while someone talking about their (in)famous-ness, or by way of a voice-over of them
introducing themselves.

#93- Law of Cute Mascots- Any anime either Shojo or Shonen has GOT to have at
least one cute, furry little mascot by penalty of death!
First Corollary- If it is a Shonen Anime, the hero will be accompanied by a
Dog, Cat or any kind of animal, real or fake, that would be found with a hero of the
male persuasion. Any animal that would be associated with girls that is following
him around is there because:
1) It’s his girlfriend’s.
2) It is following him, despite his insistence not to do so.
3) Chicks will dig him more.
Second Corollary- If it is a Shojo Anime, the heroine will be accompanied by
a cat, cute lil’ mouse, or some disgustingly cute monster, or any kind of animal,
real or fake, that would be found with a hero of the female persuasion. Any animal
that would be associated with guys that is following her around is there because:
1) It’s her boyfriend’s.
2) It is following her, despite her insistence not to do so.
3) It makes her look cool.

#94- Law of The Force- Most Anime heroes are blessed with a unique sort of ability
that enables bad things to happen to those that deserve it or makes things like
bullets or debris totally miss them (Also referred to as "Dumb Luck"), even though
they are mostly unaware of it. Those who have this ability include Vash the
Stampede, Captain Justy Ueki Tylor, and Jar Jar Binks.

#95- Law of Naughty Tentacles- All Anime Tentacles are VERY horny and will rape any
human female, regardless of age ("She’s 18! No! Really, she is! I’m not lying!...")
First Corollary- Even when raped or molested by tentacles, Hentai Anime
girls eventually get into it & begin squealing in ecstasy. NO one knows WHY this is,
but some theorize there may be some kind of chemical that is secreted through the
skin of the tentacle...
Second Corollary- Women who are impregnated by a tentacle creature never
experience morning sickness, and also find it to be intensely pleasurable (Also
known as the Goofy Meter Redline Effect).
Third Corollary- Similarly, the resulting... offspring of tentacle/human
relations is immediately sexually active, often impregnating its own mother again.

#96- Law of Cat-Fighting- Two females with a grudge can and will go at each other,
sometimes ripping off clothes. Sometimes it escalates so much, that property damage
begins to occur.
First Corollary- A running fight can be so destructive, you can follow it
from a distance just by watching for the smoke. (Also known as the "A-ko/B-ko
Thing")

#97- Law of Healing- Most anime heroes have a Wolverine-like healing factor that
enables them to regenerate from a massive wound or broken bone within minutes. Being
immortal sometimes helps. (Also known as the "Priss Effect".)

#98- Law of Stereotype Crew Characteristics- All ships, either waterborne or
spaceborne, have the following crew members:
1) The captain
2) His Lieutenant
3) Various female technical staff
4) A hotshot pilot
5) A cute little girl/twins (either stowaways or not)
6) The Doctor
7) The Doctor’s assistant (either a spy or not)
Weighted among the crew are various quirks which include:
1) Extreme coolness/luck
2) Amazing Intelligence
3) Incredible irritation
4) Extreme cuteness
5) Irresponsible drunkenness
6) Homophobicness
7) Emotionless (Idiots.)

#99- Law of Sparklies- Whenever a character of the main character’s interest
appears, flowers, sparkles, or abstract circles of pastel colors appear around said
character, or both. Roses with exaggerated thorns appear when it is dangerous love.
No one knows why this is, though most have a theory: Anime characters are freaks! At
least, Marker Apenname seems to think so...

#100- Law of Anime Events- Much like wrestling, anything and everything can happen.

FANFICTION – UNITED NATIONS!!!

Has anyone else noticed how a lot of us get along and make friends on here and we can be from completely different countries? We're here making world peace on the INTERNET and we have all those ambassadors and senators and whatever struggling with it! If you realize this (or read this and agreed) copy and paste this and add your name and country (country is optional) to the list. SPREAD THE PEACE!!!

Naruto-fan-Okami-chan (USA), NaraTemari011 (Puerto Rico), Lala girl in Lalaland (USA), Kakashi Forever (England), NinjasWillRuleTheWorld (Australia), Shadowtheangel (Sweden), Ice Prince Hitsugaya (USA), Gaara of the Desert564 (USA), RebeccaUlquiorraCifer23 (USA), TheCursedOne (Colombia), Wereninja (USA), DarkHorseBlueSky (USA), XxTheMoonRiddlexX (USA), River the Witch Girl (Russia), SnowFlower Frost (Canada/France),PurpleGoddess12 (Canada),Thallys94 (Brasil)

The Laws of an Older Brother
Whether you have a younger Brother or sister:

1. If they get too klingy, pick them up, and flip them over.

2. Try and fight, hold them off with one hand.

3. For a younger bro, Offer him advice on girlfriend.

4. For younger sis, Threaten anyone who tried to take her out

5. Be warned, you WILL be asked to chaufer them everywhere

6. BEWARE THE PINKY SWEAR. They will hold it against you for LIFE, until they break their half.

7. When they come crying to you because of something, listen to them. You were in that position once before, and didn't hve anyone to cry on.

8. Rip the head off any bastard that tried to hurt them.

9. When all else fails, ice Cream solves all problems.

10. ALWAYS be there for them. Every girlfriend digs a caring older brother. But if she makes you choose, show her the door.

Chuck Norris Facts

When the Bogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books, he stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not sleep, he waits.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.

Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.

Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

Sayings

Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we've always had: work or prison. -Tim Allen

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time. -Robin Williams

"Ah, yes, divorce. From the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet." -Robin Williams

People say hate is a strong word, but so is love. And people throw it around like it's nothing. -Unknown

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away.

The believer is happy. The doubter is wise.

We all know God invented liquor to keep the Irish from ruling the world.

You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon'. -Chris Rock

Heaven doesn't want me, and Hell's afraid I'll take over.

Common sense is the most uncommon thing in the world.

Stress: A condition caused by repressing the body's desire to strangle the living daylights out of some jerk who desperately deserves it.

Life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think.

"You see, among all men-those who value beauty, money, success, prestige-those of us who value love are the most dangerous of all. More than any others, we will compromise morals, ethics, our lives, and the lives of those around us-all for the sake of love."

Millions long for immortality, but do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon. -Susan Ertz

Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself. -Harvey Fierstein

Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is probably why so few engage in it. -Henry Ford

A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer. -Robert Frost

Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich. -Napoleon Bonaparte

In politics, stupidity is not a handicap. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Love is the self-delusion we manufacture to justify the trouble we take to have sex. -Daniel S. Greenberg

Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

The road to hell is ordered by the righteous, planned by the well-meaning, and paved with their good intentions.

When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.

If you find yourself in a fair fight you didn't plan your mission properly.

A woman is like a teabag; you never know how strong she is until she's in hot water. -Eleanor Roosevelt

"Sex could kill you. Do you know what the human body goes through when you have sex? Pupils dilate, arteries constrict, core temperature rises, heart races, blood pressure skyrockets, respiration becomes rapid and shallow, the brain fires bursts of electrical impulses from nowhere to nowhere, secretions spit out of every gland and the muscles tense and spasm like you're lifting three times your body weight. It's violent, it's ugly and it's messy. And if God hadn't made it unbelievably fun, the human race would have died out eons ago. Men are lucky they can only have one orgasm. Do you know that women can have an hour long orgasm?" -Dr.Allison Cameron - House, M.D.

"Life with men is like a deck of cards... You need a Heart to love them, a Diamond to marry them, a Club to beat them, and a Spade to bury the bastards." -Unknown

I am prepared to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter. - Winston Churchill

He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you. -Friedrich Nietzsch

"One of the most obvious facts about grownups to a child is that they have forgotten what it is like to be a child." -Randall Jarrell

Butch: "You so need to lighten up about the potato-launcher incident.
Phury: "You broke my window."
Butch: "Of course we did. V and I were aiming for it."
Phury: "Twice."
Butch: "Thus proving that he and I are outstanding marksmen."
-Butch and Phury, Lover Unbound

"Me? I'm dishonest, and with a dishonest man, you can always trust him to be dishonest. Honestly, it's the honest ones you have to watch out for because you never know when he's going to turn around and do something incredibly stupid." -Jack Sparrow, PotC

"All I see in your sword is fear. If you dodge, you're afraid of being hit. If you're protecting someone, you're afraid they'll die. If you attack, you're afraid you'll cut them. There is no place for fear here. Do you see the resolve to cut you in my blade? If I dodge, I won't let you hit me. If I'm protecting someone, I won't let them die. If I'm attacking, I will cut you." -Urahara Kisuke, Bleach

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

That which doesn't kill you...will probably try again.

Good judgment comes from experience, experience comes from bad judgment.

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.

The problem with defending the purity of the English language is that English is about as pure as a crib-house whore. We don't just borrow words; on occasion English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary.

Don’t tell me the sky is the limit when there are Footprints on the moon…

Well you don’t always need to flirt because Love will be knocking on your door one day and it will be shooting up like a missile.

It only takes 20 years for a liberal to become a conservative without changing a single idea.

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.

War doesn’t determine who’s right. War determines who’s left.

If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress?

I once prayed to God for a bike, but quickly found out he didn't work that way…so I stole a bike and prayed for his forgiveness.

The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.

Anyone who uses the phrase “easy as taking candy from a baby” has never tried taking candy from a baby.

Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over the strings are attached.

Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence. (A life sentence!)

Deception may be found everywhere, and as ninjas we see it every day, However if one were to simply open their eyes and observe carefully, they would see that the roots of all deception lie at home. For it is where we are at the most ease that we feel the need to overlook the most important things no matter how small they seem. For these very things are the root of our problems, they slowly blinds us all to the bigger picture, the grand conception, and in doing so opens us to heartbreak and sorrow. I find it safe to say that deception would not exist in this world at all so long as we all just opened our eyes and stopped our everyday tasks to take a moment and think about what truly causes our pain. Is it the act of a breaking bond? The death of a friend? The destruction of a home? All are tragic, yet none compare to the pain that can be felt when one is betrayed, the pain of an iron wedge being driven through your heart, yet even this is dwarfed by the betrayal of family, for when that wedge starts burning it does not just separate the betrayer from the others. It will tear a family apart slowly as they grieve and fight, an act that is as cruel as can be. Yet none of this can compare to the sight of their faces as they are betrayed, nothing compares to the joy I feel now as I watch you stand there shocked. Yes, this is true satisfaction.

-Naruto Namikaze- Anbu Captain

"People are people," Harry agreed. "Some are good, some are foolish, some are evil and some intolerant and yet most still act like sheep in the end. Rally to a person of will and follow without thought of why and justify their actions for a goal. The greater good, preserving society and any other number of causes can cause the descent to corruption. Tell me not the means to ones ends as they will speak of reason and necessity to overlook all acts of brutality and control merely tell me what the ends must justify. It is easier to sleep when one knows who one's friend and one's foe is."

-Harry Potter (Enter the Silver Flame)

Downward ever downward the path of decadent debauchery we go! Never more to restrain our exaltation with remorse shall we be! Oh fear us ye who hate we proud in our dreams that deviate from your docile dogma! For we shall live on embracing our lust of life!

-- Dora smashed out of her mind at her final parting with Andromeda Tonks.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people don't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

- Mariane Williamson

I would rather be ashes than dust. I would rather that my spark should burn out in a brilliant blaze than be stifled by dry rot. I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom of me in magnificent glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet. The function of man is to live, not to exist. I shall not waste my days trying to prolong them. I shall use my time.

- A personal favorite by Jack London

How is it that one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

- Unknown

"Dating is like pulling off a successful heist. It's fun, it's thrilling, and you seem to have gained a lot from nothing. But marriage is like getting arrested after that crime. You lose your rights, your liberty, and when the adrenaline finally wears off, you realize how dreary your life has become, doing mundane chores and eating the same three square meals every day. It's a stable but banal existence that will suck the life out of you."

-"La Tormenta" by Jiraiya's Dream

"Is there such a thing as an absolute, timeless enemy? There is no such thing, and never has been. And the reason is that our enemies are human beings like us. They can only be our enemies in relative terms. The world must be made whole again."

— The Boss

"One must die and one must live. No victory, no defeat. The survivor will carry on the fight. It is our destiny... The one who survives will inherit the title of Boss. And the one who inherits the title of Boss will face an existence of endless battle."

— The Boss to Naked Snake (a.k.a. Big Boss)

"We have forsaken our countries, we have left our motherlands behind us, and we have become one with the earth. We have no nation, no philosophy, no ideology. We go where we are needed, not for country, not for government… but for ourselves. We need no reason to fight, we fight because we are needed. We are the deterrent for those with no recourse. We are Soldiers Without Borders, our purpose is defined by the era that we live in. We may sometimes have to sell our services and ourselves. When the times demand it, we will be revolutionaries, criminals, terrorists. And yes… we may all be heading straight to hell. But then there is no better place for us. This is our only home. This is our… Outer-Heaven…"

Big-Boss, 1974

"Beware you be not swallowed up in books! An ounce of love is worth a pound of knowledge." -John Wesley

"Do all the good you can, in all the ways you can, to all the souls you can, in every place you can, at all the times you can, with all the zeal you can, as long as ever you can." -John Wesley

"Nothing is complete in itself but requires something outside itself in order to exist." -A.W. Tozer, The Knowledge of the Holy

"Justice is not something God has. Justice is something that God is." -A.W. Tozer

"We might be wise to follow the insight of the enraptured heart rather than the more cautious reasoning of the theological mind." -A.W. Tozer, The Knowedge of the Holy

13 Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." 14 Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. 15 Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that." -James 4:13-15, NIV Bible

"Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practise to deceive!" -Sir Walter Scott, Marmion Canto VI Stanza 17

"Parting your soup is not a miracle Bruce, it's a magic trick. A single mom who's working two jobs, and still finds time to take her son to soccer practice, that's a miracle. A teenager who says 'no' to drugs and 'yes' to an education, that's a miracle. People want me to do everything for them. What they don't realize is they have the power. You want to see a miracle, son? Be the miracle." -God [Morgan Freeman, Bruce Almighty

"When we hit our lowest point, we are opened to greatest change." -Aang, Avatar: The Legend of Korra

"A wizard knows no such word (about impossible)." -Zoc, Ant Bully

"If you don't fear death, what is there to fear in life?" -Criss Angel, Mindfreak

"Because no kingdom should be made on the backs of slaves." -Moses, Prince of Egypt

"We're both of the same breed, after all… motives for war are of no concern. Religion, ideology, resources, land, grudges, love, or just because… No matter how pathetic the reason, it's enough to start a war." -Nagato/Pain, Naruto Shippuden

"When people get hurt, they learn to hate… when people hurt others, they become hated and racked with guilt. But knowing that pain allows people to be kind. Pain allows people to grow… and how you grow is up to you." -Jiraiya, Naruto Shippuden

"The most important thing for a shinobi is teamwork!" -Namikaze Minato, Naruto Shippuden

"Those that break the rules and regulations are scum. But those who abandon their comrades are worse than scum! If I'm going to be called scum either way, I'd rather break the rules! And if that's not being a proper shinobi, then I'll destroy that idea!" -Uchiha Obito, Naruto

"When there is a true desire in the heart and that desire is strong… That is when he finds real strength that even he did not know he had!" -Orochimaru, Naruto

"Hate only gives birth to even more hate." -Orochimaru, Naruto

"... If fate is a millstone, then we are the grist. There is nothing we can do. So I wish for strength. If I cannot protect them from the wheel, then give me a strong blade, and enough strength... to shatter fate." -Kurosaki Ichigo, Bleach

"Ichigo, what's the difference between a king and his horse? I don't mean kiddy shit like "One's a person and one's an animal" or "One has two legs and one has four." If their form, ability and power were exactly the same, why is it that one becomes the king and controls the battle, while the other becomes the horse and carries the king?! There's only one answer. Instinct! In order for identical beings to get stronger and gain the power they need to become king, they must search for more battles and power! They thirst for battle, and live to mercilessly, crush, shred, and slice their enemies! Deep, deep within our body lies the honed instinct to kill, and slaughter our enemies! But you don't have that! You don't have those pure, base instincts! You fight with your brain. You try to defeat your enemies with logic! And it doesn't work! You're trying to cut them with a sheathed sword! That's why you're weaker than me, Ichigo!" -Hollow Ichigo, Bleach

"Abandon your fear. Look forward. Move forward and never stop. You'll age if you pull back. You'll die if you hesitate." -Zangetsu, Bleach

"You can't cut me. At least not with a sword that regrets having defeated me. Let me tell you the truth. The truth behind fighting. Fighting continues forever. After you've defeated one person, someone stronger appears. If you manage to defeat him, then an even stronger person comes along. If you don't have the resolve to endure that eternal struggle, then eventually your confidence will erode. But it doesn't end there! The battle will continue elsewhere, fought by others. It's an endless cycle! And it doesn't end with a person's death. The cycle will continue! As long as people and their souls exist, there will be disputes and those disputes will lead to fights. And those fights will continue without limit, for all eternity." -Kariya Jin, Bleach

"A strong heart is needed in order to control a strong power. You lack that. As such, you can't control your power. By only gaining part of this power, you will destroy yourself in the not too distant future." -Koga Go, Bleach

"I intended to die. But I was told to live. I'm taking their words to heart. This time, it's my turn to help everyone live. To do that, I'm willing to die fighting." -Kujo Nozomi, Bleach

"When you're up high, all the stuff that looks confusing and messed up... suddenly becomes crystal clear." -Senna, Bleach

"Never admit defeat and ask for a quick death! Die first, then admit defeat! If you are defeated but didn't die, it just means you were lucky! At those times, think only about survival! Survive and think only about killing the one who failed to kill you!" -Zaraki Kenpachi, Bleach

"I can't wait until I'm older. There's nothing great about being young. Being young means that you're still naive. That's why it feels like you're soaring in the sky or sinking beneath the ocean when someone you admire betrays you. Those emotions control your entire life and can make you lose sight of who you are. By growing older, your heart grows more experienced. You grow one step further away from being controlled by your feelings and are able to keep from soaring through the sky or sinking to the depths of the ocean. That's what it means to grow older." -Hinamori Momo, Bleach

"Battle is not a stage for empty heroics and nor is it something to take pleasure in. Battle is filled with despair. Dark, terrifying. That is the way that it should be. That way, people learn to fear battle and to choose the path of non-violence where possible." -Kira Izuru, Bleach

"Do not lose your composure, do not break your stance, stretch out your awareness, and do not let your guard down for even a second." -Ulquiorra Cifer, Bleach

"No world is without sacrifices. But if we produce casualties, we would also sustain casualties of our own." -Tia Harribel, Bleach

"As I taught you before, there is no mercy for he who obstructs justice." -Yamamoto Shigekuni Genryusai, Bleach

"Puppets cannot oppose or defy the puppetmaster." -Cosmo Entelechia's motto, Mahou Sensei Negima

"It is a truth that would cause most to sink into despair and curse the gods. Indeed that is all whom I had previously observed reacted." -Fate Averruncus, Mahou Sensei Negima

"If the king does not move, his subordinates will not follow." -Lelouch vi Britannia, Code Geass

"The only ones who should kill, are those who are prepared to be killed." -Lelouch vi Britannia, Code Geass

"A false tear brings pain to the ones around you, but a false smile brings pain to one self." -C.C., Code Geass

"War has historically been an action favored by idiots." -Charles zi Britannia, Code Geass

"No matter how sad or hurt you are, don't forget to smile... No matter how cruel reality is, if you can keep a smile on your face, one day that happiness will come true…" -Aureriel Fairchild, Freezing

"Let this be your first lesson. I have no love for you or your people. On the contrary, I intend to scour humanity from this planet, and make no mistake: I have the power to do it." -Arthas Menetil/Lich King, Warcraft

"You speak of justice? Of cowardice? I will show you the justice of the grave... and the true meaning of fear." -Arthas Menethil/Lich King, Warcraft

"Einstein defines Insanity as 'doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.' By that knowledge, Penny is coo-coo for cocoa puffs. " -Sheldon Cooper, Big Bang Theory

"I don't know! You have to devise a scenario that plausibly explains my absence, keeping in mind, that the key to a good lie lies in the details." -Sheldon Cooper, Big Bang Theory

"I'm a horny engineer, Leonard. I never joke about math or sex." -Howard Wolowitz, Big Bang Theory

"The true mind can weather all the lies and illusions without being lost. The true heart can touch the poison of hatred without being harmed. Since beginning-less time, darkness thrives in the void, but always yields to purifying light." -Lion Turtle, Avatar: The Last Airbender

"Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering." -Yoda, Star Wars

"There's always a bigger fish." -Qui-Gon Jinn, Star Wars

"Remember, your focus determines your reality." -Qui-Gon Jinn, Star Wars

"Fear. Fear attracts the fearful, the strong, the weak, the innocent. Fear is my ally." -Darth Maul, Star Wars

"Tell me what you regard as your greatest strength, so I will know how best to undermine you; tell me of your greatest fear, so I will know which I must force you to face; tell me what you cherish most, so I will know what to take from you; and tell me what you crave, so that I might deny you…" -Darth Plagueis, Star Wars

"Good. Twice the pride, double the fall." -Cound Dooku, Star Wars

"Definition: 'Love' is making a shot to the knees of a target 120 kilometers away using an Aratech sniper rifle with a tri-light scope. Statement: This definition, I am told, is subject to interpretation. Obviously, love is a matter of odds. Not many meatbags could make such a shot, and fewer would derive love from it. Yet for me, love is knowing your target, putting them in your targeting reticle, and together, achieving a singular purpose, against statistically long odds." - HK-47, Star Wars

"Apathy is death." -Bao-Dur, Atton Rand, Disciple, Handmaiden, Visas, HK-47, T3-M4, Star Wars

"There is no emotion, there is peace.
There is no ignorance, there is knowledge.
There is no passion, there is serenity.
There is no chaos, there is harmony.
There is no death, there is the Force." -The Jedi Code, Star Wars

"Peace is a lie, there is only passion.
Through passion, I gain strength.
Through strength, I gain power.
Through power, I gain victory.
Through victory, my chains are broken.
The Force shall free me." -The Sith Code, Star Wars

"What greater weapon is there than to turn an enemy to your cause? To use their own knowledge against them?" -Bastila Shan, Star Wars

"The eye sees, but cannot see itself. Anyone can be the eye, but the key to Jedi training is to be able to see oneself." -Vandar Tokare, Star Wars

"We all have our heroes. And when we watch them fall, we die inside. She made a choice once… and I did not." -Atris, Star Wars

"I'm not a warrior, I'm a soldier. There's a difference. Warriors attack and conquer, they prey on the weak. Soldiers defend and protect the innocent—usually from warriors." -Carth Onasi, Star Wars

"I'll take the stupid one, who decided to threaten us rather than shoot us when he had the chance." -Bao-Dur, Star Wars

"When you risk pain or death for another, there is no truer test of your beliefs and strength." -Brianna/Handmaiden, Star Wars

"There are many kinds of hate, and all of them have the call of the dark side in them." -Visas Marr, Star Wars

«Our claws are tools, not weapons. To use them in battle is to become an animal. It is madness without honor.» -Zaalbar, Star Wars

"Love doesn't lead to the dark side. Passion can lead to rage and fear, and can be controlled, but passion is not the same thing as love. Controlling your passions while being in love, that's what they should teach you to beware, but love itself will save you, not condemn you." -Jolee Bindo, Star Wars

"I shall not be denied!" -Marka Ragnos, Star Wars

"I would use it as I would use a poison, and in the hopes of understanding it, I will learn the way to kill it." -Darth Traya/Kreia, Star Wars

"To be united by hatred is a fragile alliance at best." -Darth Traya/Kreia, Star Wars

"It is such a quiet thing, to fall. But, far more terrible is to admit it." Darth Traya/Kreia, Star Wars

"Nothing is impossible with the Force." -Darth Traya/Kreia, Star Wars

"Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side." -Han Solo, Star Wars

"The way to extinguish a shadow, is to increase the light." -Cilghal, Star Wars

"The Force is a tool, Jaden. Sometimes a weapon, sometimes a salve. Dark Side, Light Side, these are distinctions of insignificant difference. Do not fall into the trap of classification. Sentience curses us with a desire to categorize and draw lines, to fear that after this be dragons. But that is illusion. After this is not dragons but more knowledge, deeper understanding. Be at peace with that." -Kyle Katarn, Star Wars

"Remember: abilities are not inherently good or evil, it's how you use them." -Kyle Katarn, Star Wars

"A Sith knows when to unleash the fury of the dark side, and when to hold back. Patience can be a weapon if you know how to use it, and your anger can fuel the dark side if you learn how to control it." -Darth Bane, Star Wars

"Your destiny is now your own. Sever all ties to your past. No one must know that you still serve me. Now go. And remember that the dark side is always with you." -Darth Vader, Star Wars

"Don't be too proud of this technological terror you've constructed. The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force." -Darth Vader, Star Wars

"The dark side of the Force holds many abilities some may consider to be unnatural." -Chancellor Palpatine, Star Wars

"To the well-organised mind, death is but the next greatest adventure." Albus Dumbeldore, Harry Potter

"There is no good and evil, there is only power...and those too weak to seek it." -Lord Voldemort, Harry Potter

"Greatness inspires envy, envy engenders spite, spite spawns lies. You must know this, Dumbledore." -Tom Riddle, Harry Potter

"Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgment. For even the very wise cannot see all ends." -Gandalf, Lord of the Rings

"End? No, it doesn't end here. Death is just a new path, a path everyone has to take." -Gandalf, Lord of the Rings

"Those who hate most fervently must have once loved deeply; those who want to deny the world must have once embraced what they now set on fire.–Kurt Tucholsky

"I am the bone of my sword
Steel is my body and fire is my blood
I have created over a thousand blades
Unknown to death
Nor known to life
Have withstood pain to create many weapons
Yet these hands shall never hold anything
So, as I pray, Unlimited Blade Works"-Archer

"Atone for my sins? [...] I have no sins to atone for, nor have I forced such a meaningless concept on anyone."-Archer

"Yes, the seats are limited. There are always fewer seats called happiness than there are people to fill them"-Archer

"Fortunately, I do not have any pride. But what about it? Will the name of the hero be disgraced? Hah, don’t make me laugh, Lancer. You can wash away disgrace with results. You can feed your meaningless pride to the dogs."-Archer

"That's right! I admired his desire to save people because it was beautiful! But none of that feeling is my own! What else can you call it but hypocrisy?! I was driven by my obsessive need to help someone. I kept running, neither noticing the pain nor how wrong I was! But it's all a fake. Such hypocrisy can not save anything. No, first of all, I didn't even know what I wanted to save!"-Archer

"I guess he is just as tough as the legends say..."-Archer

"My defeat may be inevitable...But you'll still have to work for it, Berserker! In the meantime, I'm gonna take 2 more of your lives!-Archer

"Drown in your ideals and die!"-Archer

"You don't mind if I kick his ass, right?"-Archer

"Here I come, King of Heroes. Do you have enough weapons in stock?"-Emiya Shirou

"...Yes, the desire to protect something... is, at the same time, none other than the wish for something to violate it."-Emiya Shirou

"But that's enough. If there is overwhelming power and speed, there is no room for technique. Techniques are something humans invented to compensate for their weaknesses."-Emiya Shirou

"Do you regret this, Archer?...Then I can't lose to you, i don't mind losing against anyone else but, I CAN'T LOSE TO MYSELF!"-Emiya Shirou

"You are a hateful woman. You oppose me to the very end. But I shall forgive you. Some things are beautiful because they cannot be obtained."-Gilgamesh

"Oh, immortality. Heh, I gave that to the snake."-Gilgamesh

"May your death entertain me mongrel"-Gilgamesh

Sinful? Corrupt? I don't understand your logic. Why must pleasure and sin be connected? Pleasure gotten through evil means could be a sin. But pleasure can also result from good deeds. What kind of philosophy calls pleasure itself a sin?-Gilgamesh

If I shied away from all the curses in the world, what sort of Hero would I be? "Suffer all the worlds evil"? Ha, they think they can ruin all me with a mere curse? They should have tripled it's strength! An epic hero is someone who bears the burden of every human in his sight. I've been carrying that weight on my shoulders since the beginning of time!-Gilgamesh

"Did you not understand? All dreams eventually disappear when the dreamers wake.”-Gilgamesh

“What you speak of at greatest length is what interests you the most.”-Gilgamesh

“A soul naturally seeks pleasure, consciously or not.”-Gilgamesh

“The path of devotion is a great labor. Do not ever mar it.”-Gilgamesh

"Heh, heroes always die due to unreasonable orders."-Lancer

"Don't get me wrong. I'm not siding with you or anything. I'm just siding... with my own beliefs!"-Lancer

"I might be almost dead, but I could still easily kill a thousand of you."-Lancer

"It is the path you have chosen. Take pride in it."-Kotomine Kirei

"Rejoice, Emiya Shirou. Your wish will finally come true."-Kotomine Kirei

"Then do not regret it. People cannot change the past. All we can do is to accept our own actions. If you still wish to be burdened by your sins, let it show in your future actions. It is your choice how to perceive something that has already happened."-Kotomine Kirei

The chant for the Boosted Gear's Juggernaut Drive:

I, who is about to awaken, Am the Heavenly Dragon who has stolen the principles of domination from God I laugh at the "infinite", and I grieve at the "dream" I shall become the Red Dragon of Domination And I shall sink you to the depths of the crimson purgatory!

The chant for Divine Dividing's Juggernaut Drive:

I, who is about to awaken, Am the Heavenly Dragon who has taken the principles of supremacy from God I envy the "infinite" and I pursue the "dream" I shall become the White Dragon of Domination And I shall take you to the limits of white paradise!