Author has written 11 stories for Percy Jackson and the Olympians, and Psych.
favourite God - Poseidon/Hades ( i think they're stronger than Zeus and either one of them would make a better king )
Least favourite God - Ares ( i hate his arrogance )
favourite Goddess - Hestia/Artemis
Least favourite Goddess - Athena ( arrogance, pride/hubris, she hates Poseidon, take a guess at why i don't like her )
If you need a smile on your face read these...
The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.
When your dad is mad and asks you, “Do I look stupid?” Don’t answer him
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.
The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music.
Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.
I haven't lost my mind -- it's backed up on tape somewhere.
Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up.
Girls are like perfume - they're expensive and smell funny
I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh, the fun I will have.
"You know little bro? You should take care of your book, because a tree sacrificed it's life to give you education, let's just hope his sacrifice wasn't a waste shall we?" -me (I really don't know why I said that, me and my lil' bro were studying and stuff.)
Is it time for your medication or mine?
Oh, I'm so sorry! I forgot that you're an idiot!
A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends grab those knives and stab those bastards back for you.
A good friend is someone who thinks you are a good egg even though he knows you're slightly cracked- Bernard Meltzer
Friends are relatives you make for yourself- Gustache Deschamps
Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.
To put it nicely, I hope you choke
Suburbs are areas where they cut down trees and then name the streets after them.
It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn.
You don't have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from the bear.
A day without sunshine is like... night.
God created man before woman because every masterpiece needs a rough draft.
MENtal pain, MENtal anxiety, MENstrual cramps, MENopause... all our problems start with men!
I only know how to do things three ways: the right way, the wrong way, and my way... which is the wrong way only faster.
Whoever said that 'nothing was impossible' never tried to slam a revolving door.
When life gives you lemons, make apple juice, then sit back and enjoy while others try to figure out how you did it.
When life hands you a lemon, squirt life in the eye and run like hell.
Never knock on Death's door. Ring the doorbell and run away. He hates that.
Last night, I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?"
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you.
Even if the voices aren't real, they have some good ideas.
Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.
There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train.
Writing isn't a career, it's more of a mental illness.
I'm an angel, honest! The horns are just there to keep the halo straight.
Heaven doesn't want me and Hell is afraid I'll take over.
It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn.
Real friends don't let you do stupid things--alone.
The butterflies are plotting SOMETHING...
lost your pen = no pen
no pen = no notes
no notes = no study
no study = fail
fail = no diploma
no diploma = no job
no job = no money
no money = no food
no food = you get skinny
you get skinny = ugly
ugly = no love
no love = no marriage
no marriage = no children
no children = alone
alone = depressed
depressed = sickness
PEOPLE DO NOT LOSE YOUR PENZ!!!
2 friends are arguing because freind
one has betrayed friend 2.
friend 2: how could you betray me like that?
friend 1: i'm sorry it hurt me too you know
friend 2: oh i'm so sorry if my back hurt your
knife. (tada - funny)
Funny Product Labels
On Sears hairdryer:
On a package of pasta after the cooking insturctions:
On a bag of Fritos:
On a bar of Dial soap:
On some Swann frozen dinners:
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
On Nytol sleep aid:
On artificial bacon:
On a Korean kitchen knife:
On a string of Christmas lights:
On a food processor:
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
On a Swedish chainsaw:
On a child's Superman costume:
The directions on a Jiffy Pop are on the back of the cover. When you tear the cover off to see the directions, step one is: "Remove cover."
The box says "Fragile" but the postman just tosses it and runs off.
On a can of Manwich
I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then watch the world wonder how you did it.
Life is like a pack of gum . . . I've yet to figure out why.
If your name is Mr.Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?
Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out.
Person #1: Happiness is just around the corner!
How come parents always say, "Don't take candy from strangers," But on Halloween, it is encouraged? Am I the only sane person?
Your mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash, then it's gone.
I'm not random, I just have many thougt- OH! A SQUIRREL!
Robbers stab you in the stomach. Boyfriends stab you in the heart. Friends stab you in the back. Best friends poke you with straws.
Death is God's way of saying "You're fired."
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
Pick the month you were born:
Pick the day (number) you were born on:
Pick the color of shirt you are wearing:
 I need to tell you a secret. First, look at number 5.
 The answer is to look at 11.
 Don't get mad and look at 15.
 Calm down, don't get mad, look at 13.
 First, look at 2.
 Don't be that angry, look at 12.
 This is a very important message: Go to number 5.
 What I wanted to tell you is, THE ANSWER IS AT 14.
 Be patient, and look at 4.
 This is the last time I'm gonna do this. Go to 7.
 I hope you're not mad when I say look at 6.
 Sorry, look at 8.
 Don't get mad and look at 10.
 I don't really know how to say this, but look at 3.
 You must be really mad, but look at 9.
Things to do on a Lift
1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside, and ask, "Got enough air in there?"
2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5) MEOW occasionally.
6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly
7) SAY "DING!" at each floor.
8) SAY, "I wonder what all these do?" Then push all the red buttons.
9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18) DROP a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.
21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.
22) CALL out "Group hug!" then enforce it
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