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Joined 02-03-13, id: 4523389, Profile Updated: 07-18-16
Author has written 12 stories for Percy Jackson and the Olympians, and Psych.


name ?

age- 17

gender/sex male

favourite God - Poseidon/Hades ( i think they're stronger than Zeus and either one of them would make a better king )

Least favourite God - Ares ( i hate his arrogance )

favourite Goddess - Hestia/Artemis

Least favourite Goddess - Athena ( arrogance, pride/hubris, she hates Poseidon, take a guess at why i don't like her )

If you need a smile on your face read these...

The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.

When your dad is mad and asks you, “Do I look stupid?” Don’t answer him

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music.

Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.

I haven't lost my mind -- it's backed up on tape somewhere.

Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up.

Girls are like perfume - they're expensive and smell funny

I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh, the fun I will have.

"You know little bro? You should take care of your book, because a tree sacrificed it's life to give you education, let's just hope his sacrifice wasn't a waste shall we?" -me (I really don't know why I said that, me and my lil' bro were studying and stuff.)

Is it time for your medication or mine?

Oh, I'm so sorry! I forgot that you're an idiot!

A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends grab those knives and stab those bastards back for you.

A good friend is someone who thinks you are a good egg even though he knows you're slightly cracked- Bernard Meltzer

Friends are relatives you make for yourself- Gustache Deschamps

Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.

To put it nicely, I hope you choke

Suburbs are areas where they cut down trees and then name the streets after them.

It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn.

You don't have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from the bear.

A day without sunshine is like... night.

God created man before woman because every masterpiece needs a rough draft.

MENtal pain, MENtal anxiety, MENstrual cramps, MENopause... all our problems start with men!

I only know how to do things three ways: the right way, the wrong way, and my way... which is the wrong way only faster.

Whoever said that 'nothing was impossible' never tried to slam a revolving door.

When life gives you lemons, make apple juice, then sit back and enjoy while others try to figure out how you did it.

When life hands you a lemon, squirt life in the eye and run like hell.

Never knock on Death's door. Ring the doorbell and run away. He hates that.

Last night, I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?"

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you.

Even if the voices aren't real, they have some good ideas.

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train.

Writing isn't a career, it's more of a mental illness.

I'm an angel, honest! The horns are just there to keep the halo straight.

Heaven doesn't want me and Hell is afraid I'll take over.

It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn.

Real friends don't let you do stupid things--alone.

The butterflies are plotting SOMETHING...

lost your pen = no pen

no pen = no notes

no notes = no study

no study = fail

fail = no diploma

no diploma = no job

no job = no money

no money = no food

no food = you get skinny

you get skinny = ugly

ugly = no love

no love = no marriage

no marriage = no children

no children = alone

alone = depressed

depressed = sickness

sickness= DEATH!


2 friends are arguing because freind

one has betrayed friend 2.

friend 2: how could you betray me like that?

friend 1: i'm sorry it hurt me too you know

friend 2: oh i'm so sorry if my back hurt your

knife. (tada - funny)

Funny Product Labels

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a package of pasta after the cooking insturctions:
"Put on fork and eat."
(No! Really? We're supposed to eat food?!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's just a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds with colds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On artificial bacon:
"Real artificial bacon bits".
(So we don't get fake fake bacon. Oh no we get real fake bacon.)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one..)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

The directions on a Jiffy Pop are on the back of the cover. When you tear the cover off to see the directions, step one is: "Remove cover."

The box says "Fragile" but the postman just tosses it and runs off.

On a can of Manwich
Warning: may be messy
(why else would it be called SLOPPY Joe?)

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then watch the world wonder how you did it.

Life is like a pack of gum . . . I've yet to figure out why.

If your name is Mr.Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?

Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out.

Person #1: Happiness is just around the corner!
Person #2: Too bad the world is round!

How come parents always say, "Don't take candy from strangers," But on Halloween, it is encouraged? Am I the only sane person?

Your mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash, then it's gone.

I'm not random, I just have many thougt- OH! A SQUIRREL!

Robbers stab you in the stomach. Boyfriends stab you in the heart. Friends stab you in the back. Best friends poke you with straws.

Death is God's way of saying "You're fired."
Suicide is our way of saying "You can't fire me! I quit!"

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When i get to heaven I will ask Jonah."
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell ?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him?"

Pick the month you were born:
January--I kicked
February--I loved
March--I kissed
April--I licked
May--I jumped on
June--I smelled
July--I did the Macarena With
August--I had lunch with
September--I danced with
October--I sang to
November--I yelled at
December--I ran over

Pick the day (number) you were born on:
1--a birdbath
2--a monster
3--a phone
4--a fork
5--a snowman
6--a gangster
7--my mobile phone
8--my dog
9--my best friends' boyfriend
10--my neighbor
11--my science teacher
12--a banana
13--a fireman
14--a stuffed animal
15--a goat
16--a pickle
17--your mom
18--a spoon
19-- - a smurf
20--a baseball bat
21--a ninja
22--Chuck Norris
23--a noodle
24--a squirrel
25--a football player
26--my sister
27--my brother
28--an ipod
29--a surfer
30--a llama
31--A homeless guy

Pick the color of shirt you are wearing:
White--because I'm cool like that
Black--because that's how I roll.
Pink--because I'm crazy.
Red--because the voices told me to.
Blue--because I'm sexy and I do what I want
Green--because I think I need some serious help.
Purple--because I'm AWESOME!
Gray--because Big Bird said to and he's my leader.
Yellow--because someone offered me £1,000,000
Orange--because my family thinks I'm stupid anyway.
Brown--because I can..
Other--because I'm a Ninja!
None--because I can't control myself!

[1] I need to tell you a secret. First, look at number 5.

[2] The answer is to look at 11.

[3] Don't get mad and look at 15.

[4] Calm down, don't get mad, look at 13.

[5] First, look at 2.

[6] Don't be that angry, look at 12.

[7] This is a very important message: Go to number 5.

[8] What I wanted to tell you is, THE ANSWER IS AT 14.

[9] Be patient, and look at 4.

[10] This is the last time I'm gonna do this. Go to 7.

[11] I hope you're not mad when I say look at 6.

[12] Sorry, look at 8.

[13] Don't get mad and look at 10.

[14] I don't really know how to say this, but look at 3.

[15] You must be really mad, but look at 9.

Things to do on a Lift

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside, and ask, "Got enough air in there?"

2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.

3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.

4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

5) MEOW occasionally.

6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly

7) SAY "DING!" at each floor.

8) SAY, "I wonder what all these do?" Then push all the red buttons.

9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."

11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.

13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."

14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.

17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"

18) DROP a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"

19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.

20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.

21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.

22) CALL out "Group hug!" then enforce it

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Perseus The Peacekeeper, Son of Chaos by Owlways reviews
What if Percy was never a son of Poseidon? What would happen if he were in charge of keeping the peace on Earth? What if the Giants and Titans ally themselves to destroy the Olympic unleashing chaos on the planet? Read to find out - Pertemis and Chaos also will have a role. T because i m paranoid. First fanfic so please be nice :D
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 21 - Words: 59,339 - Reviews: 454 - Favs: 832 - Follows: 780 - Updated: 2/15/2014 - Published: 12/18/2012 - Percy J., Artemis
Lost in a Lifetime by GuardianDeLux reviews
Perseus was born of Pontus' essence, Neptune, and Amphitrite. He is a young godling and the first and true son of the sea. Years after his birth the gods found a way to control the a price. Perseus was going to become a demigod, lose his memories, and most of his powers and blessings. Can Perseus complete the prophecy with his life AND try to recover his memories?
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 8 - Words: 22,133 - Reviews: 112 - Favs: 281 - Follows: 329 - Updated: 1/4/2014 - Published: 7/25/2012 - Percy J., Poseidon, Thalia G., Artemis
Percy Jackson the guardian of the hunt and son of chaos by Shadowlord1295 reviews
Percy has had his heartbroken and then a major revelation happen will Percy find a new home in the lest likeliest place or will his new home cause him to enter an early grave read and find out. ok i suck at summaries alright and its rated T because well read the first chapter its a Pertemis story alright so enjoy and review i really suck at summaries discontinued
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 25,775 - Reviews: 388 - Favs: 387 - Follows: 317 - Updated: 4/5/2013 - Published: 10/17/2012 - Percy J., Artemis - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Mortal, The Immortal Phoenix reviews
The world began with 1, a nameless immortal who has always lived however that 1 divided into 3 millennia ago, this story follows the journey of 1 of the 3, Mortal, an immortal who survives by creating a new mortal body every time he is killed, he has recently made a new body, he calls himself Percy Jackson. (its unique please enjoy and give feed back- bad and good)
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,452 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 14 - Published: 4/21/2014 - Percy J., Poseidon, Hestia
Immortal Saviour reviews
Sally Jackson was pregnant with Poseidon's child when she was about to die with her unborn son by childbirth, before she did though she was saved by the oldest being in the universe, he was nameless but he now goes by the name of Sally's son, Perseus
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K - English - Supernatural/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 969 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 21 - Published: 8/13/2013 - Percy J.
Perseus The Human Phoenix reviews
Percy isn't a mortal, demigod or an immortal, he's somthing so much more and he has amazing gifts to share with everyone but can they take it or will they try to destroy what they don't understand? follow the journeys of the time travelling immortal mortal demigod son of Posidon (you hooked yet?)
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K - English - Supernatural/Adventure - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,241 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 79 - Follows: 76 - Updated: 6/30/2013 - Published: 4/21/2013 - Percy J.
Perseus and Theseus reviews
Perseus Jackson, son of Poseidon wasn't named after a son of Zeus, he was named after the oldest being in existence, but what if he was named after it for a reason? what if Percy was named after Perseus because he was destined to be the true creator's reincarnation? what would happen?
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K - English - Supernatural/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 466 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 29 - Published: 6/30/2013 - Percy J.
The Secrets Of Shawn Spencer reviews
what if Shawn's hyperobservance develops into somthing so much more
Psych - Rated: K - English - Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 668 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 25 - Published: 4/1/2013 - Shawn S.
what if shawns extra senses start giving him incredible strength, speed and reactons slight crossover with Chuck
Psych - Rated: K - English - Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,266 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/1/2013
Half god half titan reviews
what if sally wasn't the biological mother of percy? what if percy had titan blood in his veins? Perseus Theseus Achilles Orion Jackson, the frourth life of three great heroes is born a half Ichor a son of both the god Poseidon as well as a titan, but the question is who is percy's mother? and will percy be convinced by Kronos to join the titans once he learns of his heritage?
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,736 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 111 - Follows: 129 - Updated: 2/19/2013 - Published: 2/4/2013 - Percy J.
The Boy Who Became A Telepath reviews
An alternate reality where Percy grows up with a strange gift, he once walked past a boy and had a thought that wasn't his, read as he struggles to determine his thoughts from others and will he succeed or will his gift change him into somthing completely different
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K - English - Supernatural/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 155 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 10 - Published: 2/19/2013 - Percy J.
Percy Jackson Master of Water and Absorber of Powers reviews
What if Percy knew he was a demigod from the beginning, what if he trained to learn every power his father has or had, follow his adventure with Percy stronger, smarter and so much more powerful than before
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K - English - Supernatural/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 692 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 64 - Follows: 70 - Published: 2/19/2013 - Percy J.
Prince of Fate, Wisdom, Seas and Time reviews
what if Poseidon hid two secret realms he ruled over?, Time and Wisdom, what if Percy inherited these powers during the 2nd Giant War?, what if Percy inherited even more powers?, a mix between Blood of Water and Back In Time Second Chance i intend to work very hard on this please read, review and tell me weather or not you want me to continue it,
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K - English - Supernatural/Adventure - Chapters: 6 - Words: 6,223 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 91 - Follows: 88 - Updated: 2/14/2013 - Published: 2/9/2013 - Percy J.
Percy Jackson:Blood Of Water reviews
what if poseidon had a secret power? what if percy inherited this power? it takes a while to really get started but read if you want to learn more about the strongest demigd in existence and how he travels back in time to fix all his mistakes, a story about secrets, truths and and tales revolving around the greatest hero of all time
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K - English - Supernatural/Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,733 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 97 - Follows: 93 - Published: 2/12/2013 - Percy J., Poseidon
Super Dystopia reviews
a story of fantasy and magic, about powers and gifts not unlike percy jackson but not a percy jackson story i just needed somewhere to store it and show it to the world so i kept it with my other story, if you are willing to give my story a go then go ahead, begin and enjoy i don't mind wheather you subscribe or not this is my second fic and so far i just want people to read it!
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,095 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 2/12/2013 - Published: 2/4/2013