Author has written 22 stories for RENT, Due South, NCIS, Strong Medicine, and Flashpoint.
"The whole point of fanfiction is that you get to play inside somebody else's universe. Rewrite the rules. Or bend them. The story doesn't have to end when Gemma Leslie gets tired of it. You can stay in this world, this world you love, as long as you want, as long as you keep thinking of new stories." - Cath Avery, Fangirl
Levi: There are different kinds of talent. Maybe your talent is in interpretation. Maybe you're a stylist.
Cath: And you think that counts?
Levi: Tim Burton didn't come up with Batman. Peter Jackson didn't write Lord of the Rings.
Follow me on Pinterest! renthead07.
Follow me on Twitter: wilddakotagirl.
Bibliophile. Horse addict. Animal lover. Musician. Shy. Disney lover. Potterhead. Virgo. Hugger. Grammar Nazi. Musical Theater nerd (I've seen RENT, Wicked, Jesus Christ Superstar, Hair, and Mamma Mia! live.) Fangirl (I don't do calm!) Potterhead (always!) Tribute. Initiate (My aptitude is Divergent, but I would choose Dauntless and probably be Erudite-born.) NCIS Special Agent. Constable. Renthead. Ozian.
My favorite Flashpoint character is Spike. My favorite episodes are a 3-way tie between Attention Shoppers, Planets Aligned, and One Wrong Move. But I LOVE almost all of them!!
My favorite Grey's Anatomy episodes are Into Me Like a Train, Crash Into Me, Sweet Surrender, What a Difference a Day Makes, Sanctuary, and Death and All His Friends. My favorite doctors are George O'Malley, Miranda Bailey, Mark Sloane, Lexie Grey, Alex Karev, and Derek Shepherd. I like the others, too, just not as much. I did not like Erica Hahn.
I also enjoy NCIS and Law and Order: SVU. My favorite NCIS episodes are Yankee White, Hung Out to Dry, Bete Noire, See No Evil, Chained, The Meat Puzzle, SWAK, Twilight, Kill Ari (1 and 2), Mind Games, Silver War, Honor Code, Under Covers, Frame Up, Probie, Boxed In, Bait, Bloodbath, Hiatus (1 and 2), Witch Hunt, Twisted Sister, Driven, Dead Man Walking, Angel of Death, Bury Your Dead, Family, Leap of Faith, Chimera, Corporal Punishment, Dog Tags, About Face, Judgment Day (1 and 2), Agent Afloat, Heartland, Caged, Aliyah, Truth or Consequences, Power Down, Borderland, Spider and the Fly, and A Man Walks Into a Bar... My favorite characters are Abby, McGee, Gibbs, Ducky, Kate, and Tony (among others.)
My favorite SVU episodes are Competence, Swing, 911, Savant, Undercover, Wildlife, Manic, Home, Sick, Scavenger, Charisma, Crush, Zebras, and Slaves. My favorite character is Munch. He's so hilarious!
I dare you to challenge me to Harry Potter trivia. You'll lose. Embarrassingly.
My kids someday will have paws and hooves.
Concerning My Stories:
My stories are mostly old... My Flashpoint stories, Remember Me, Breathe Me, and Blindsided, are new. Breathe Me, chapters 1 and 2, have recently been edited some, but the changes are very minor, so I filled y'all in, rather than making you reread. (You can if you want, I think you'll like the edits.)
I don't read or write slash. It's just not my thing. If I do write sex scenes, it's almost always het and PG-13 at the most.
Guest Reviews are enabled, so those of you who don’t have an account can still read and leave reviews. Constructive criticism is always appreciated.
Everything's Not Lost (Strong Medicine)- I'm probably never going to finish it. Since the fandom has dwindled to almost nothing (I miss the show dearly, it was great, but they only made 1 season into DVD!), I don't have high expectations for it, but I don't have the heart to take it down, because of the perfect ending I still have in my head, for in case I decide to finish it someday.
I have more on the way back burner, but no real desire to try and get inspiration and write them right now.
“Maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they just need to run free til they find someone just as wild to run with them." - Carrie Bradshaw
"The things we lose have a way of coming back to us in the end, even if it's not the way we expect it to." Luna Lovegood (Harry Potter and the Order of the Pheonix)
"It's not our abilities that who show us who we really are, it is our choices." Albus Dumbledore (Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone)
"Merry Christmas, bitches!" Collins (Rent)
"There is only one you for all time. Fearlessly be yourself." -Anthony Rapp
"I stand upon my desk to remind myself to look at the world in a different way." Professor Keating (Dead Poets Society)
Jackson Gibbs: $20 bill in your wallet's just a piece of paper. You find it on the ground and suddenly, it's full of wonder.
Ziva David: Context can change a thing.
Jackson Gibbs: That it can.
RIP Ralph Waite, 1928-2014. Papa Gibbs. Bye, Jackson. We Love You!!
Doctors have to understand that women are not just small men. (Dr. Emerson, Strong Medicine)
Curses! I would grab the wrong umbrella! (Penguin, "Batman: The Animated Series, 'Almost Got 'Em')
Why do they always insist on announcing dinner like a damn cavalry charge? (Molly Brown, Titanic)
Sometimes it is the people that no one imagines anything of who do the things no one can imagine. (Christopher Morcom, The Imitation Game)
Ed: Officer Wordsworth, what do I- what do I tell the parents?
Wordy: Tell them- tell them to remember their Gilbert and Sullivan? (Starts to sing, Ed joins in) "When constabulary duties to be done,
Wordy: "To be done...
Both: "A policeman's job is not a happy one!
Wordy: "Happy one!"
(They both salute her as they walk to the car. Sophie "okays," shuts the door, Ed and Wordy high-five, and walk, laughing, to the car.)
Jules: Every day is Jules Day.
Sam: Why don't you just Tase his ass?
Ed: Muscle spasm- he'll pull the trigger.
Sam: So we go in hard tactical.
Ed: Yeah, I was just getting to that. Look, something I need you to do. All right, see these stairs here? That's where we came in, right? Need you to make a reverse entry. Go across this hallway, these doors here. I need you to go through them. Now, be careful, because that is a big road. I want you to cross it. I want you to make an entry into this Timmy's. I'll have a double-double. Jules.
Jules: Cream, no sugar.
Spike: No, I'm good.
Sam: You serious?
(Ed doesn't move, then Sam sighs and gets up and leaves.)
Jules: (under her breath) You went all coffee shop on his ass?
(Ed chuckles and grins.)
Spike: Three teenage girls, four teenage girls, three girls and a boy, could be seven orangutans.
Greg: How about a little less information and a little more intelligence?
Jules: You know, I've never seen somebody who's ready to die put up such an awesome fight to stay alive.
(Flashpoint, "Attention Shoppers")
Ed: You taught me everything I know. You made me who I am, Danny. You can't- you can't tell me that this is how it ends.
(Flashpoint, "Haunting the Barn")
Greg: You know what? We all have our weak spots. Could be anything... flying... (looks at Ed)... cats...
Ed: It was one cat! It was mean!
Spike: (nodding) I was there. It was mean!
(Flashpoint, "Clean Hands")
Spike: What are you talking about, "this big"? What is that supposed to be? That's not even a letter opener. What are you doing that? You know, you shouldn't that to a guy, ever.
(Flashpoint, "Aisle 13")
Spike: Yeah, buddy? Lou?
Lou: It's gonna be okay.
(Flashpoint, "One Wrong Move")
Ed: This is an MP-5 submachine gun. Fires 800 rounds per minute, 400 meters per second. So unless you want a demonstration, I suggest you put the gun down and we can talk about this.
(Flashpoint, "The Farm")
Jules: (to Greg Parker) She's not the only one who needs you.
(Flashpoint, "You Think You Know Someone")
Dr. Toth: (word associating) Freedom?
Spike: Feminine supplies. (Grins at Greg Parker, who smirks.)
Dominic Scarlatti: Every day, this is my life, waiting for the phone to ring, the officer at the door. You bring this in our house.
Spike: Pa, I don't think now is the time, okay?
Michelina Scarlatti: Sit down, a-please.
Dominic Scarlatti: Every day, you go out there and you play the hero.
Spike: "Play"? What, you think this is a game?
Dominic Scarlatti: Today, your friend does. Tomorrow, my son dies.
Spike: One day, we all die, okay?! (Dominic scoffs and leaves the table, Spike yells) At least you try to make it mean something!
Spike: (yells) Pa!
(Spike throws the wine bottle against the wall, and it smashes. Michelina screams.)
(Flashpoint, "Fault Lines")
Greg: I walked away from my team, Ed. I walked away from you and I am so sorry. I'm so sorry.
Ed: Buddy, do the math on this. How many times have you been there for me? I have nothing but respect for you, Greg, and you never have to apologize to me for anything.
Greg: I've got no words for you, my friend. I've got no words for you. No words to describe what you've done for me and who you are to me.
Ed: Okay, so what's the deal here? What's your decision? Whatever it is, it's okay. (Greg holds up some papers.) What's that, your suspension papers?
Greg: Yeah. Here, you do it.
Ed: What're you saying?
Greg: (smiles) Let's keep the peace!
(Flashpoint, "Slow Burn")
Ed: Hey, you remember a couple years ago when I had to shoot Goran Tomasic? And you said to me, "Buddy, you might wanna do the math on all the 'I'm fine's? I never said thank you.
Greg: You're more than fine, buddy. You're more than fine.
Ed: Guys, to, uh... to absent friends. To Donna and Lew. Team One.
(Flashpoint, "Keep the Peace, Part 2")
RIP, Lewis Young and Donna Sabine
Forever In Our Hearts
Keep the Peace!
Fraser: Excuse me, I'm looking for a Detective... Armani?
Ray: Okay, who let the mountie into the holding cell?
Fraser: She shot my hat, Ray.
Ray: She shot you in the hat?
Fraser: I can feel air coming in through the hole.
Ray: You shot you in the hat all right.
Fraser: How's it look?
Ray: Doesn't look good.
Fraser: We'll hafta go home and get my other one.
Ray: We can do that, Fraser.
Fraser: Thanks, Ray.
(Due South, "Free Willie")
Ray: Oh! No! You're tasting things again?! Ah! That is the grossest thing that I have ever seen!
Ray: I've never been so humiliated in my entire life. I'm in a canoe with two wounded mounties and I'm being humiliated by rats!
Ray: Hello, Ms. Broccoli... Ma! What are you doing, calling me on my private line?!
Ray: Why am I covered in crud and you look like you just got back from a hand laundry?
Ray: What is it?
Ray: Those were on me?!
(Ray squeals and jumps out of the dumpster. Fraser climbs up the dumpster and looks down over it.)
Ray: (in the shower) These things wash off, right?
Fraser: Parasites? Yes, of course. Although, there's always the chance that they laid eggs.
Ray: More soap! Give me more soap!
Ray: I am naked in here! Does that mean anything to anybody?
(Due South, "They Eat Horses, Don't They?")
Fraser: You are under!-
(Janice points a gun at him)
Fraser: Oh dear!
(Fraser ducks as Janice shoots six times)
(Due South, "Chicago Holiday, Part 2")
Fraser: Well, that's just silly, Ray.
Fraser: I sharpened my buckle.
Ray: You anticipated cutting your way out of a rubber room?
(Due South, "A Hawk and a Handsaw")
Ray: I don't wanna be nothing anymore, Fraser! It's hard on my socks!
(Due South, "The Man Who Knew Too Little")
Fraser: We're going now. We're leaving. We will not return.
(Dief runs out, even though he's supposed to be deaf, and loads onto the plane.)
Ray: Yes, how far do you think you're gonna get with that gash on your head?
Fraser: Oh, Ray, head wounds always look worse than they actually are. Can you give me a reading?
Ray: Ah, it's your compass. You read it.
Fraser: I can't.
Ray: Well, neither can I.
Fraser: Well, you'll have to.
Fraser: I'm blind.
Ray: (does that wide-eyed look) You're blind?
Ray: You're-you're really, really blind?
Fraser: As a bat.
Ray: Well, uh, I see, uh, trees.
Fraser: Good. Describe them.
Ray: Green, mostly.
Ray: Fraser, look out!
(Due South, "North")
Fraser: Sergeant Frobisher! Before you continue, may I have a word with you?
Frobisher: Friend or foe?
Fraser: A friend, I assure you!
Frobisher: Where are you?
Fraser: I'm right here, sir!
Frobisher: In the sink?
Fraser: Uh, uh, no, sir. To the rear!
Frobisher: Great Scott, Benton?!
Fraser: I'm relieved to see you're alright, sir.
Frobisher: That's a matter of opinion. What are you doing in my toilet?
Fraser: Well, I've come to debrief you, sir.
Frobisher: Something wrong with the door?
Fraser: We have a problem, sir. I believe that the men have all been gassed.
Frobisher: Oh my God.
Fraser: Yes. And furthermore, it's my belief that this train is no longer under our control.
Frobisher: Worse than I thought.
Fraser: Yes, sir. And I thought it prudent to inform you.
Frobisher: Inform me? I've been living with it for a week!
Robert Fraser: Well, I'm dead! It affects your memory!
Fraser: (to Thatcher) Red suits you.
(Due South, "All The Queen's Horses")
Thatcher: (using semaphore) Moron.
Ray: What did she say?
Fraser: She called me a moron.
Ray: She's a very perceptive woman.
Ray: Oh, did they say bonds? I thought they said bombs!
Fraser: (to Diefenbaker) This kinda remind you of a bear trap?
Thatcher: (using semaphore) You have duties, Constable.
Fraser: (responding in semaphore) Understood.
Fraser: (semaphore) Red suits you.
(Inspector Thatcher smiles from below.)
(Due South, "Red, White, or Blue")
Fraser: Can you throw?
Thatcher: One-point-three ERA over 30 games.
Fraser: That's very good. Hit the red button.
Fraser: Well, I'm sorry. It's just I was so pleasantly surprised to see you, that I-
Ray: - said something completely stupid?
Ray: What are you grinning about?
Fraser: I knew you two would hit it off. (Pats both Rays on the backs)
Fraser: Francesca. I've been thinking about what you said about our, uh, and I, uh, I know I don't often say, um, I mean, I'm not particularly skilled at expressing...
Kowalski: (grumbles) Frannie, he likes you.
Frannie: I know.
Fraser: I'm glad.
(Due South, "Call of the Wild, Part 1")
Bob Fraser: Why do villains have such hard heads?
Fraser: Ray, look, turtles!
(Fraser pushes Kowalski out of the plane, then follows. They both plummet into a massive snowbank)
Fraser: Ray? You alright?
Kowalski: I'm under 30 feet of snow. How could that be alright?
Fraser: Well, you're alive. Start digging.
Kowalski: Look, we're 100 miles from nowhere, on a frozen wasteland, and you're grinning like an idiot.
Fraser: I'm home.
Bob Fraser: (punches Muldoon in the face) I don't know why anyone ever does that. Lord, that hurts.
(Due South, "Call of the Wild, Part 2")
Sherlock: Shut up!
Lestrade: I didn't say anything.
Sherlock: You were thinking. It's annoying.
Sherlock: I'm in shock! Look, I've got a blanket!
(Sherlock, "A Study in Pink")
(Sherlock starts spinning John in a circle)
John: Sherlock, what are you-
Sherlock: Shh! John, concentrate! I need you to concentrate! Close your eyes!
John: What? Why? Why? What are you doing?
Sherlock: I need you to maximize your visual memory. Try to picture what you saw. Can you picture it?
Sherlock: Can you remember it?
John: Yes, definitely.
Sherlock: Can you remember the pattern?
Sherlock: How much can you remember it?
John: Well, don't worry...
Sherlock: Because the average human memory on visual matters is only 62% accurate.
John: Yeah, well, don't worry, I remember all of it.
John: Yeah, well, at least I would, if I could get to my pockets. Took a photograph.
Sherlock: How would you describe me, John? Resourceful? Dynamic? Enigmatic?
(Sherlock shoots a smiley face on the wall four times)
John: (coming up the stairs with his fingers in his ears) What the HELL are you doing?
Sherlock: (mutters) Bored.
Sherlock: (louder) Bored!
John: No... (Gunshot)
Sherlock: Bored! (Gunshot)
Sherlock: I don't know what's gotten into the criminal classes. It's a good job I'm not one of them.
John: So you take it out on the wall?
Sherlock: The wall had it coming.
(Sherlock, "The Great Game")
John: There is a mute button and I will use it.
(Mycroft steps on Sherlock's robe and it falls off him, nearly revealing him. He manages to pull it over his rear before it fully does.)
Mycroft: This is a matter of national importance. Grow up!
Sherlock: Get off my sheet!
Mycroft: Or what?
Sherlock: Or I'll just walk away.
Mycroft: I'll let you.
Sherlock: Punch me in the face.
John: Punch you?
Sherlock: Yes, punch me. In the face. Didn't you hear me?
John: I always hear "Punch me in the face" when you're speaking, but it's usually sub-text.
Sherlock: Oh, for God's sake.
(Sherlock punches John in the face. John punches him back, then grabs him in a stranglehold.)
Sherlock: Okay, I think we're done now, John.
John: I think you ought to remember, Sherlock, I was a soldier! I killed people!
Sherlock: You were a doctor!
John: I had bad days!
Sherlock: Noises are important. Noises can tell you everything. For instance... (Out in the hallway, John has set off the smoke alarm by setting a magazine on fire enough to seriously smoke. Irene and Sherlock look toward the noise, as John waves and blows on the magazine. Then Irene looks toward the mirror. A moment later, so does Sherlock.) Thank you. On hearing a smoke alarm, a mother would look towards her child. Amazing how fire exposes our priorities. (Sherlock walks over to the mirror, feels around for a moment, then it clicks and lifts open hydraulically. Sherlock turns and looks at Irene, who stands.) Really hope you don't have a baby in here.
(Sherlock, "A Scandal In Belgravia")
Sherlock: Why's it got two fronts?
John: It's a deer stalker.
Sherlock: Is it some sort of death frisbee?
Sherlock: It's got flaps. It's got two flaps. It's an ear hat, John.
Sherlock: I may be on the side of the angels, but don't think for one second that I am one of them.
John: You told me once that you weren't a hero... um... there were times I didn't even think you were human, but let me tell you this... You were the best man and the most human... human being that I've ever known, and no one will ever convince me that you told me a lie. That's so. There. (John walks over to the headstone and places his hand on it.) I was so alone and I owe you so much. (John turns and starts to walk away, then turns back around.) Now, please, there's just one more thing, one more thing, one more miracle, Sherlock, for me. Don't be... dead. (Voice breaking) Would you do that just for me? Just stop it. Stop this. (John sighs and starts to cry. He covers his face, lets out a sob, then walks away from the grave. The camera pans away to reveal Sherlock watching John silently from a distance.)
(Sherlock, "The Reichenbach Fall")
Sherlock: Well, the short version... not. dead. Bit mean, springing it on you like that. Could have given you a heart attack, probably still will. But in my defense, it was very funny. (John glares) Okay, it's not a great defense.
Mary Morsten: Oh no, you're...
Sherlock: Oh yes.
Mary Morsten: Oh my God!
Sherlock: No, not quite.
Mary Morsten: You died. You jumped off a roof.
Mary Morsten: You're dead.
Sherlock: No, I'm quite sure. I checked.
John: When you were dead, I went to your grave.
Sherlock: I should hope so.
John: I made a little speech. I actually spoke to you.
Sherlock: I know. I was there.
John: I asked you for one more miracle. I asked you to stop being dead.
Sherlock: I heard you.
(Sherlock, "The Empty Hearse")
Lestrade: (yells) Wakey wakey!
John: (softly) Oh my God. Greg? Is that Greg?
Lestrade: Get up. I'm going to put you two in a taxi. Managed to square things with the desk sergeant. (Chuckles) What a couple of lightweights! You couldn't even make it to closing time!
John: (softly) Can you whisper?
Lestrade: (yells) NOT REALLY!
(Sherlock, who is still passed out, startles awake. John walks past Lestrade and Sherlock uses his mind palace to remember how to stand up again, then follows them out of the cell.)
Sherlock: (to an imaginative Irene Adler, as he's trying to figure out who is going to be murdered at John's wedding) Get out of my head, I'm busy!
Sherlock, "The Sign of Three")
Bill Wiggins: You broke my arm!
John: Nope, I sprained it.
Bill Wiggins: It feels squishy. Is it supposed to feel squishy? Feel there! (Extends arm to John)
John: Yeah, it's a sprain. I'm a doctor. I know how to sprain people. Now where is Isaac Whitney?
Bill Wiggins? I don't know. Maybe upstairs?
John: (pats Billy on the leg) There you go. Wasn't that easy?
Bill Wiggins: No, it was really sore. Mental you are.
John: Nope, just used to a better class of criminal.
Sherlock: (angrily, as he punches a door clean off its hinges) For God's sakes, John! I'm on a case!
John: (following him down the fire escape) A month - that's all it took. One. (Halfway down, Sherlock vaults over the side of the fire escape and onto a wall beside it.)
Sherlock: I'm working.
(He jumps down onto the top of a wheelie bin beside the wall and then down onto another one laying on its side before stepping to the ground. John follows.)
John: Sherlock Holmes in a drug den! How's that gonna look?
Sherlock: I'm undercover.
John: No, you're not!
Sherlock: (gesticulating angrily) Well, I'm not now!
John: We should call the police!
Sherlock: During our own burglary? You're really not a natural at this, are you?
Sherlock: Hello, Redbeard. Here, boy. Come on!
(He leans down and pats the top of his legs repeatedly, smiling at his dog. The dog sits up.)
Sherlock: Come to me. It’s okay. It’s all right.
(The dog starts to trot along the corridor towards him; and now Sherlock is his younger self again, patting his legs and calling to his dog.)
Young Sherlock: Come on! It’s me! It’s me, come on!
(The dog breaks into a run, barking as he continues onwards. Adult Sherlock is now squatting in the middle of the corridor, smiling with delight and still patting his legs encouragingly as the dog runs towards him.)
Sherlock: Come on!
Young Sherlock: Good boy! Clever boy!
(The barking dog reaches the boy, who kneels down smiling happily and starts stroking his head and ears. The dog has also reached the adult Sherlock and is licking his face while Sherlock strokes his head and ears.)
Sherlock: Hello, Redbeard. They’re putting me down too, now. It’s no fun, is it?
(He slumps down onto his backside, looking weak and disorientated.)
Sherlock: (weakly) Redbeard...
(The dog barks, and Sherlock falls backwards to the floor.)
John: How did she save your life?
Sherlock: She phoned the ambulance.
John: I phoned the ambulance.
Sherlock: She phoned first.
(Flashback: Mary viciously pistol-whips Magnusson across the face, then bends to pick up his phone from the floor. As she straightens, she types in a number, not even looking at it. The number comes up on our screen in red:
Operator (over phone): Emergency. Which service do you require?
(Approaching sirens can be heard)
Sherlock: (in 221B in the present, looking at John) You didn't find me for another five minutes. Left to you, I would have died. The average arrival time for a London ambulance is...
(He lifts his left hand and looks at his watch as the clatter of feet can be heard on the stairs. Two paramedics run into the room.)
Paramedic: Did somebody call an ambulance?
(John stands up, looking at them in confusion.)
Sherlock: ... eight minutes. Did you bring any morphine? I asked on the phone.
Paramedic: (looking puzzled) We were told there was a shooting.
Sherlock: There was, last week...
(He is now holding his left wrist with his right hand, his fingers on his pulse point. He takes a sharp breath.)
Sherlock: ... but I believe I'm bleeding internally and my pulse is very erratic.
(He puts his hands on the arms of the chair and starts to push himself upwards.)
Sherlock: You may need to restart my heart on the way.
(His voice jolts on the word 'heart' and his knees buckle. John and Mary hurry forward and each of them takes hold of an upper arm to support him. The paramedics run toward them.)
John: Come on, Sherlock. Come on, Sherlock.
(Sherlock groans and grabs at him, clinging to his shoulder. Mary steps back out of the way of the paramedics.)
(The paramedics put their bags down on the floor near him and take hold of him, supporting his weight, but he ignores them and stares intensely at his friend.)
Sherlock: John - Magnussen is all that matters now. You can trust Mary. She saved my life.
John: (quietly) She shot you.
(Sherlock pulls a face, half-nodding his agreement.)
Sherlock: Er, mixed messages, I grant you.
(He grimaces, crying out in pain, and starts to fall. John and the paramedics start to lower him to the floor.)
John: Sherlock? Sherlock? (To the paramedics) All right, take him. (Sherlock cries out again. John releases him, watching the paramedics.)
John: Got him?
(They lay Sherlock down as he groans and whimpers. John straightens and looks down in concern as one of the paramedics gets out an oxygen mask. While they continue working, John looks across to Mary, breathing heavily and with his teeth slightly bared.)
Mrs. Holmes: Are you two smoking?
Sherlock: It was Mycroft!
Mycroft: Also... your loss would break my heart.
(Sherlock had just started to take a drag on his cigarette and now he chokes and coughs before turning to look at his brother, who still hasn’t turned around.)
Sherlock: What the hell am I supposed to say to that?!
Mycroft: (turning round and holding out his arms a little) “Merry Christmas”?
Sherlock: You hate Christmas.
Mycroft: (pretending to look puzzled) Yes. (He smiles a little.) Perhaps there was something in the punch.
Sherlock: (deadpan) Clearly. Go and have some more.
(Mycroft turns and goes up the steps, opening the door. Sherlock turns away.)
Mary Morstan: But he's dead. You told me he was dead. Moriarty.
John: Absolutely. Blew his own brains out.
Mary Morstan: So how can he be back?
John: Well, if he is, he'd better wrap up warm... There's an east wind coming.
(Sherlock, "The Last Vow")
(Patient's husband has just attempted to stab her and kill her, missed, and stabbed Nurse Bobbie Jackson in the left leg. Nick is looking down, alarmed, at the sight of Bobbie standing still, the knife sticking out of her leg.)
Paramedic Nick Mancini: Bobbie.
Nurse Bobbie Jackson (looks down at the knife in her leg): Oh, yeah, right. (Nick looks back up at her face, stunned.) Ruined a perfectly good pair of Armani scrubs.
Paramedic Nick Mancini (still confused): W- may I? (Bobbie remains still and he leans down and pulls out the bloody knife.) Can I put something on that?
Nurse Bobbie Jackson: Not unless you have any Spackle. (Knocks her hand against her prosthetic leg, revealing it.)
Paramedic Nick Mancini: I'll pick some up on the way over to your place tonight.
(They both chuckle.)
Dr. Tom Wakefield: Ray, where are you going?
Nurse Ray Stein: No way. That is Christina's mother-in-law, okay? Find someone else.
Dr. Tom Wakefield: There is nobody else. Mrs. Hawthorne doesn't really get along with women. She needs a man.
Nurse Ray Stein: Oh! Really? That's why I was chosen? Because I'm the only nurse on this floor with a Y chromosome? Thanks.
Dr. Tom Wakefield: What's the problem, Ray? What, are you afraid of Christina?
Nurse Ray Stein: Aren't you?
Dr. Tom Wakefield: (hesitantly) Well, a little bit.
(Hawthorne, "The Sense of Belonging")
Elliot Stabler: (staring at the place where a body has been found, covered in flowers and such) Just once, I want to see people take a little bit of a breather before they let the healing begin. Look at this. 'Enrolled in God's College. We love you, Jeanne.'
Olivia Benson: Come on, Elliot. It's a spontaneous outpouring of emotion.
Elliot Stabler: I'm just saying, If ever go down, you better make sure the place where my body is found doesn't EVER look like this or I will haunt you for the rest of your days.
Olivia Benson: Noted.
(Law and Order: SVU, "Sophomore Jinx")
Brian Cassidy: Ever think about having kids?
John Munch: Why, when I have you?
Brian Cassidy: So why didn't you ever have kids? Didn't want the responsibility?
John Munch: I wouldn't want to give a kid the responsibility of me.
(Law and Order: SVU, "Uncivilized")
Brian Cassidy: (Munch has just pointed out to Cassidy how hard it might be for the Canadian police to find their suspect) Sure, rain on my parade.
John Munch: I don't want to just rain on it, I wanna blow up all the floats.
(Law and Order: SVU, "Stalked")
John Munch: And with that I say good-night, you need to drive me early tomorrow, and you need to get some sleep.
Fin Tutuola: You need to get a new driver.
(Law and Order: SVU, "Loss")
John Munch: Detective Tutuola! Come and pollute your soul with some child porn, my friend!
(Law and Order: SVU, "911")
John Munch: The kindest thing I could ever do for a child is not adopt.
(Law and Order: SVU, "Stolen." Word, my friend. Word.)
Pregnant Woman: (to Fin and Chester) Has the doctor told you if it's a boy or a girl?
Fin Tutuola: Excuse me?
Pregnant Woman: It's so hard for gay couples to adopt. A surrogate's really your only option. I don't get why they think it's better to leave kids in the system than send them to a gay home. You seem like a nice couple to me.
(Chester looks at Fin, grins, and, trying not to laugh, claps him on the thigh in what looks to the pregnant lady like an affectionate gesture. Fin gives him a stink eye.)
(Law and Order: SVU, "Savant")
Fin Tutuola: You have the right to an attorney, and if you throw up in my car, I'll kill ya!
(Law and Order: SVU, "Justice")
Preacher: When God makes you pregnant, stay pregnant. When God makes you barren, stay barren.
Elliott Stabler: When God gives you a uterus, maybe we'll listen to your sermon.
(Law and Order: SVU, "Mask")
Olivia Benson: It's still incest.
Elliott Stabler: Twincest.
(Law and Order: SVU, "Bombshell")
Dr. Derek Shepherd: It's a beautiful day to save lives.
Bonnie: So... if you move me... I'll die?
Dr. Derek Shepherd: We're gonna do everything we can to-
Mr. Maynard: No. No. If anybody has to go, it should be me. You just move-
Dr. Preston Burke: Mr. Maynard, Mr. Maynard, your injuries are less extensive.
(Dr. Derek Shepherd runs his thumb over Bonnie's hand.)
Dr. Preston Burke: If we pull the pole from you as we operate around it, we have a better chance of repairing the damage.
Mr. Maynard: It's not right. It's not fair.
Bonnie: Tom... it's not fair either way. Is, um... is my Danny, is he here yet?
Dr. George O'Malley: There are delays at the airport. Um, the storm...
Dr. Miranda Bailey: We could wait, but the longer we do, the higher the risk of infection for-
Bonnie: No. No. This is better. Danny wouldn't understand. I've had a couple of hours to, you know, process all of this, but if he had to see me, talk to me like this, well, I... I just think it would be too hard.
Bonnie: (later, to Mr. Maynard) Can I ask you a question?
Mr. Maynard: Mm-hmm.
Bonnie: Do you believe in Heaven?
Mr. Maynard: I do. Don't you?
Bonnie: I want to.
Mr. Maynard: Bonnie... I just want to say...
Bonnie: Shh... I know... I know...
Dr. Derek Shepherd: This is Dr. Adams, our anesthesiologist. When you're ready, he's gonna put you to sleep.
Bonnie: So it's not gonna hurt?
Dr. Adams: It won't hurt a bit.
Dr. Derek Shepherd: Yeah.
Bonnie: That's good.
Bonnie: Dr. Shepherd.
Dr. Derek Shepherd: Yes?
Bonnie: You're gonna be the one to talk to my Danny, right?
Dr. Derek Shepherd: Yes.
Dr. Derek Shepherd: Okay. What would you like me to tell him?
(Grey's Anatomy, "Hit Me Like A Train". Goddamn, this episode shattered my heart.)
Dr. Miranda Bailey: Dr. O'Malley?
Dr. George O'Malley: Yes?
Dr. Miranda Bailey: Stop looking at my vajayjay!
Dr. George O'Malley: (quickly looks away) Yes, ma'am!
(Grey's Anatomy, "As We Know It")
Dr. Derek Shepherd: Just for the record? I am your "knight-in-shining-whatever."
(Grey's Anatomy, "Walk on Water")
Dr. Alex Karev: Today's the day my life begins. All my life, I've been just me-- just a smart-mouthed kid. Today I become a man. Today I become a husband. Today I become accountable to someone other than myself. Today I become accountable to you, to our future, to all the possibilities that a marriage has to offer. Together, no matter what happens, I'll be ready, for anything, for everything, to take on life, to take on love, to take on possibility, responsibility. Today, Izzie Stevens, our life together begins, and I, for one, can't wait.
(Grey's Anatomy, "What a Difference a Day Makes")
Dr. Meredith Grey: If I get Alzheimer's...
Dr. Derek Shepherd: I will remind you who I am, every day.
(Grey's Anatomy, "Now or Never")
Mr. Torres: She's not a vegetarian, is she? Because I don't know how much more I can take.
(Grey's Anatomy, "Invasion")
Mr. Taylor: There's always a way. When things look like there's no way? There's a way- to do the impossible, to survive the unsurvivable, there's always a way. Today, if you become frightened, instead, become inspired.
(Grey's Anatomy, "Give Peace a Chance")
Dr. Derek Shepherd: If you don't feel the losses... if they don't hurt you and humble you... that's when you know you're not cut out for this kind of work.
(Grey's Anatomy, "Valentine's Day Massacre")
Dr. Jackson Avery: 12 pounds. EBay, here I come.
(Dr. Lexie Grey giggles.)
Dr. Miranda Bailey: Dr. Grey. You are doctors. If you are going to be caregivers, you need to be able to handle anything the human body throws at you.
(Spider emerges from a horn on the patient's wart-covered hand)
Dr. Miranda Bailey: Aah! Oh, spider! Someone do something, please! Spider! It just came right out of that horn! (To Lexie) Get it! Get it! (Lexie steps on the spider) Thank you! Thank you! Okay. Okay. Whooo!
(Grey's Anatomy, "Superfreak". God, this made me laugh so hard!)
Tyler: (as he performs CPR, before his fellow paramedics shock the electrocuted patient) I don't think more electricity is what this guy needs, just throwing it out there.
Tyler: Okay, don't shoot the white guy.
Rabbit: Bring him to the copter, Nancy! And tell your puppy dog to stop barking!
(Trauma, "All's Fair")
Boone: Hey, hey, can you help me find this guy’s tongue?
Tyler: Why, why do I have to find the guy’s tongue? See, a kidney, a kidney I could find.
Tyler: This is like a crack house for birds.
(Trauma, "Thank You")
Tyler: Paramedics. Pair of medics.
Boone: Shut up. Paramedics!
Tyler: You knock. She might hear the seniority.
Ray: Hey, you wanna do some real work, grab a hose!
Tyler: What is it? Why are you guys always trying to get me to touch your hose?
Anything else you guys wanna know about me, feel free to PM or email me. Lots of love to my fellow Constables/Sergeants/Team Leaders, Potterheads, Sherlockians, Cumbercollectives, DueSers, Rentheads, Probies, Tributes, and Initiatives!! You know who you are!! :)