Some funny sayings because, let's be honest, that's the best part of a profile. Who cares about the author? Certainly not me
"If you're going to kick the tiger in the ass be prepared to deal with it's teeth."- Tom Clancy
"I've been there, done that, bought the t-shirt."-my daddy
"Don't judge a person until you've walked a mile in their shoes. Then judge them. Because then you are a mile away. And you have their shoes."-it was on a t-shirt a Hot Topic
"Pain fades, wounds heal, and chicks dig the scars, but honor and pride are eternal."?
"Growing old is inevitible. Growing up is optional."-from another profile
"If you start a fire for a man, he'll be warm for a night. If you SET a man on fire, he'll be warm for the rest of his life."-from another profile
"The Following Statement is True:
"Sanity is a one trick pony - all you have is rational thought. But when you're good and loony, the sky's the limit!" - from another profile
"Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense." ?
"When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear." -Mark Twain
"Do not condemn the judgment of another because it differs from your own. You may both be wrong." ?
"No great genius is without an a mixture of madness." -Aristotle
"The creative person is both more primitive and more cultivated, more destructive, a lot madder and a lot saner, than the average person." -Frank Barron
"A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation." ?
"No one is a virgin, life screws us all." - My friend James says that
"What's the use of happiness? It can't buy money." ?
"There is no 'I' in team, so 'I''m not in you're team."-I say that. I made it up too. I hate sports and teamwork. They blow like a twenty dollar whore
"If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?" ?
"The most important thing to succeed in show business is sincerity. And if you can fake that, you've got it made." - George Burns
"Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines" ?
Anything that Stewy off of 'Family Guy' says.
"Bow before my infinite sarcasm!"-that's me again.
Stewey: Hey, you. I'll trade you my signed ball for your signed bat.
"I don't suffer from insanity...I enjoy every minute of it."
"Yea! Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I shall fear no evil for I am the biggest mother fucker in the valley!" -from the profile or yoisie/ambereyes
"How important do you have to be for it to be considered assination and not just murder?" -me
"Now we're in the 2000s. We lost the morals but we kept the weed." -brian of Family Guy
Bryan: I feel so American.
Andy: Is there an Irish term for hangover?
Andy: A chick walks by, you wish you could sex her, but you stand by the wall like a friggin' poindexter
Tim: I'm afraid I'm going to say something random and sound really stupid.
Andy: I knew this one guy who as 45 and we were hella good friends. I was like 11.
Random Chick from Canada: hey
Bryan: I'm ready for this upcoming school year.
Bryan: Why the hell are those small candies people give you for halloween called fun-size?
Bryan: Christ it was hot today.
Bryan: I drove by the fire department the other day, and they had a big public awareness sign that read, "Are your house numbers visible?" I thought, "Who the hell cares? How about you just stop at the house that's on fire!"
Bryan: I gotta go. There's a dude next to me and he's watching me type, which is sort of starting to creep me out. Yes dude next to me, I mean you.
Bryan: Being alone sucks...I want to stab someone in the eye, but alas, no one is there.
Bryan: Once a computer beat me at chess.
Bryan: I've figured it out. If you ever get mugged by someone, just say, "Take it easy man, all I got is a 16 bill", then knee him in the sack when he tries to figure out what the hell you just said.
Bryan: I'm going to become rich and famous when I invent a device that allows you to stab people in the face over the internet.
Tim: I like my coffee the way I like my blacks.
Bryan: Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm going to kill your first-born with a rake.
Tim: I was taking a box of kleenex downstairs to the computer since I have a cold, and I passed my mom on the way there and she just gave me this look...I've never felt so dirty in my life.
Tim: You penetrate my mouth
Tim: You probably don't even know what ADD stands for.
Bryan: YOU SUCK DICK
Tim: My bagle bites tray has ten bagles.
Bryan: Let's commit a terrorist act.
Andy: Y'know what I don't get?
Andy: Want to hear a depressing love story?
Bryan: I'm going to make a castle out of all the soda cans around my computer desk.
Bryan: Probably because oaijmk
Tim: 65 peolpe killed in Canada by guns last year
Tim: My little nephew's cat ran away yesterday.
Bryan: Cripes. ANYTHING is sexual innuendo nowadays.
This was in an IRC chat-
Bryan: The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?
Tim: Hey, you know what sucks?
Tim: Our frigde is outside because we got our kitchen tiled
Bryan: There needs to be a real life search function.
Bryan: I hate that Simpsons Episode where Apu's wife has octuplets, and then that other family has quintuplets (or whatever the word for 9 kids at once is).
Andy: wtf is an acronym?
Bryan: So this guy walks into a bar with a monkey.
Andy: I swear to God I'm like the only optimist left on this planet.
Bryan: I hate errors that won't go away.
me: hey, if I had a million dollars, I would like buy you an ostrige or something
IF I HAVE OFFENDED ANYONE IN ANYWAY, MY ETERNAL APPOLIGIES!
Udated: January 29, 2005
Hey. I've erased all of my stories. They sucked. Face it. I'm sick of having them on there and I've been meaning to get rid of them for forever. They are in insult to fanfiction. I will not have crap like mine on the same websites as such wonderful writers as Rozefire and others. I am planning to rewrite every one of my stories and repost them in better condition. But, that may not happen for a long time. At least not until summer. Sorry to all my fans who actually liked my stuff.