Author has written 9 stories for Walking Dead, Teen Wolf, Avengers, Harry Potter, American Horror Story, and Outlanders.
Hi! I'm Kali! Not really but if you are a creeper, I don't want you to know my real name! Sorry to all you normal people I will not take any chances!
I love Teen Wolf and Walking Dead. I occasionally obsess over The Vampire Diaries so if I ever put anything up and don't update, just wait, sometime in the near future I am sure to obsess over it again!
19 Things to do in an Elevator (I guess you could be kicked of an Elevator)
1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5. Meow occasionally.
6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.
7. Say "DING!" at each floor.
8. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.
9. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10. Stare grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them.
16. Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
I'm the girl who isn't dancing, just jumping up and down screaming the lyrics.
I'm the girl that if you call my friend a brat I WILL say something.
I'm the girl that will slap you if you push me.
I'm the girl that speaks my mind, whether you like it or not.
I'm the girl that walks like I am proud even if I have toilet paper stuck on my shoes.
I'm the girl that you don't wanna be on her bad side.
I'm the girl that doesn't take crap from anyone.
BUT I'm also the girl that carries a book in her purse. I'm the girl that wears sweat pants to the dance.
I'm the girl that no one knows her name, for good or bad and I like it that way.
I'm the girl who acts shy one second and the next I will be laughing like an idiot.
I'm the girl that people call "Bitch" and "Freak" "Mean" and "Weird" but I take that as a compliment.
I'm the girl that doesn't have normal hobbies. I read and I write.
I'm the girl that hasn't been asked out at all.
I'm the girl who isn't a people person but I am when it comes to friends.
I'm also the girl they call "best friend."
If this is true for you, copy and paste onto your profile
Forever isn't as long as it use to be.
There is no "I" in team but the is an "I" in PIE and there is an "I" in MEATPIE and MEAT is an anagram of TEAM...
When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back
Having the love of your life say "we can still be friends", is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it
. My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.
You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes.
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well-aimed.
Ever stop to think and forget to start again?
You're intoxicated by my very presence
Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!
I smile because I have no idea what's going on!
Life was so simple when boys had cooties
I stay as confused as a gangster with a skateboard
I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends ( I miss those days)
I ran with scissors, and lived!
You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder
Being mature is overrated.
Being weird is like being normal, only better.
I see regular people!
I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.
Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright. ( this so describes all my guy friends)
Boys are like Slinky's... useless, but fun to watch fall downstairs
There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is full.
Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.
One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject ( in my family is more like one day we will look back on this and laugh and then make fun of someone)
When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.
It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.
I don't suffer from insanity,... I enjoy every minute of it
They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people.
I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life?
As you make your way through this hectic world of ours, set aside a few minutes each day. At the end of the year, you'll have a couple of days saved up.
Silence is golden, duct tape is silver
Make a man a fire, keep him warm for a day. Set a man on fire, keep him warm for life
Officer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God!
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then watch the world wonder how you did it.
If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk
I'm not littering...I'm donating to the Earth
I've got A.D.H.D and magic markers, oh the thrills I will have!
Life is like a pack of gum... I've yet to figure out why.
Be insane... because well-behaved girls never made history.
You call me a Bitch well a Bitch is a female dog. A dog barks. Bark is on trees. Trees are a part of nature. Nature is beautiful. So thanks for the compliment :D ( this is something i would say)
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.
If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?
Never knock on Death’s door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hates that.
Your weirdness is creeping the voices in my head out.
Last night I looked up at the stars and matched each star to a reason I loved you. I was doing fine till I ran out of stars.
To the world, you are just one person, but to one person, you are the world
One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.
WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, off the occasional cliff and into sliding glass doors. ( for some strange reason all my friends have this problem)
I’m not afraid of Death, what’s he gonna do kill me?
It’s always the last place you look. Of course it is why would I keep looking after I’ve found it?
Person #1: Happiness is just around the corner!
Person #2: Too bad the world is round!
Growing old is mandatory...growing up is optional...
If two wrongs don't make a right, try three
I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.
"Is this the part where you start tearing off strips of your shirt to bind my wounds?" -Clary
"'We came to see Jace. Is he alright?' -Clary
""Not everything is about you," Clary said furiously.
The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class.She called on him and said, "Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?"Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network!"
Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures, tacked to a bulletin board, of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person."Yes," said the policeman. "The detectives want very badly to capture him."Little Johnny asked, "Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?"
Which way does a compass point in space?
An optimist is someone who falls off the empire state building and after 50 floors says "So far so good!"
If Fed ex and UPS merge, they would be called Fed UP.
I don't suffer from insanity - I enjoy every minute of it.
Never drink water...if it can rust iron, think of what it can do to your stomach.
Chaos, panic, pandemonium, my work here is done.
Scientists are complaining that the new Dinosaur movie shows dinosaurs with lemurs, who didn't evolve for another million years. They're afraid the movie will give kids a mistaken impression. What about the fact that the dinosaurs are singing and dancing?
If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.
Your misery=My joy
In a dog-eat-dogworld the best thing to do is become a cat. If you think that I think that you think that I think that you think that I am totally spazzing out right now with the 'If you thinks' copy this to your profile already!
If you think that if girls should rule the world and it would be a better place then copy this onto your profile.
If you have ever been watching a T.V show, and when the commercials came on you forgot what you were watching copy this into your profile.
The more you love someone,the more you want them dead.
And now I ask: what is wrong with worshipping Video game characters?
Why is Donkey Kong called "DONKEY" Kong if he's a monkey?
364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from
Crazy is a relative term in my family!
I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.
How is it possible to have a civil war?
When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.
I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.
I don't obsess! I think intensely.
All the good ones are either dating someone, married, or fictional characters in books or movies.
When French people swear do they say pardon my English?
Aren't the 'good things that come to those who wait' just the leftovers from the people that got there first?
If the SWAT team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?
I read Eclipse and wanted to punch Jacob Black REALLY REALLY HARD. Then Bella did it for me.
"Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat."
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound as they go by.
Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic...
Never do anything you don't want to explain to the paramedics
If it wasn't for physics and law enforcement I'd be unstoppable
Apparently 1 in 5 people are Chinese. There are five people in my family so it must be one of them. It's ether my mum or dad. Or my older brother, Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-chan-chu. But i think it's Colin.
There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & and those that can't.
If you can stay calm when all around you is complete chaos, you probably haven't fully understood the situation.
Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.
Don't you dare tell me the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon.
People like you are the reason why we have middle fingers.
If dance were any easier, it would be called football.
Why do all superheroes wear spandex?
If mars had earthquakes would they be called marsquakes?
Why did Mary own a little lamb?
If a missing person sees their picture on a milk carton that offers a reward, would they get the money?
If the president were gay, would his husband be the first man?
If you were a genie and a person asked you this wish, "I wish you would not grant me this wish" what would you do?
Why aren't safety pins as safe as they say they are?
If overalls are held up by the snaps at the top, then why do they have belt loops?
Why is it that its good to score under par in golf but its bad to be "under par" in any thing else?
You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it
My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.
Everything here is eatable. I'm eatable, but that my children is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies.
Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS
Yo Momma so fat she sat on the rainbow and skittles popped out
Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers. -
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, "Where the hell is the ceiling?!"
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.
Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.
I had a friend once, but then the rope broke and he got away.
Got a problem with me? Solve it.
Think I'm trippin'? Tie my shoe.
Can't stand me? Then sit down.
Roses are red,
If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em.
How come we say 'It's colder than hell outside' when isn't it realistically always colder than hell since hell is supposed to be fire and brimstone?
Why is it that if something says, "do not eat" on the packaging it becomes extra tempting to eat?
Why are the commercials for cable companies on cable but not on regular television? Don't they want the people without cable to buy the cable?
In that song, She'll Be Coming 'Round the Mountain, who is "she"?
"Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?"
What happens if you put this side up face down while popping microwave popcorn?
Why is chopsticks one of the easiest songs to play on the piano, but the hardest thing to eat with?
How come you play at a recital, but recite at a play?
If heat rises, then shouldn't hell be cold?
Why is there that little space inside strawberries, as if it was meant for a pit, and then the seeds are on the outside?
Why isn't chocolate considered a vegetable, if chocolate comes from cocoa
Why do companies offer you "free gifts?" Since when has a gift NOT been
If something "goes without saying," why do people still say it?
You know the expression, "Don't quit your day job?" Well what do you say to
Why do you get in trouble for blocking an exit when you're standing in the doorway? In case of an emergency, wouldn't you run out, too, therefore NOT blocking the exit?
Why is it when some products you have to turn it upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn upside down?
It IS as bad as you think and they ARE out to get you.
Before the marriage:
He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: NO! Don’t even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: NO! Why are you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
She: Will you hit me?
He: No way! I’m not that kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
After the marriage:
This is a story about God. Read if you believe in him, and read even if you don't.
A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.
As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.
The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a line up to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious about why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her."
Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 per cent of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 per cent of the people who read this won’t repost it?
One day a dad comes home drunk and mad. He pulls out a gun and shoots his wife and then turns the gun on himself. His little girl sits behind the couch crying. The police came and took the little girl to a new family. On her first day to Sunday school she walks into the building and sees a picture of Jesus on the cross.
The little girl asks the teacher: ‘How did that man get off the cross?’
The teacher replied: ‘He never did’.
The little girl argued: ‘Yes he did when mommy and daddy fought he sat next to me behind the couch telling me everything was going to be alright...’
66 Of U Won't Repost This. But Remember The Bible Said – ‘Deny Jesus In Front Of Your Friends And I Will Deny You In Front Of My Father’. “Repost This If You’re Not Ashamed. Let God's Love Spread! :)
I promise to remember Bella
Each time I carelessly fall down
And I promise to remember Edward
Whenever I'm out-of-town
I promise to obey traffic laws
For Charlies sake of course
And I promise to remember Jacob
When my heart fills with remorse
I promise to remember Carlisle
Whenever I am in the emergency room
And I promise to remember Emmett
Everytime there's a huge boom
I promise to remember Rose
Whenever I see something that holds pure beauty
And I promise to remember Alice
When I'm at a mall and a cute outfit spots me
I promise to remember Nessie
When I see that beautiful bronze hair
And I promise to remember Esmé
When someone tells me they care
I promise to remember Jasper
Whenever my stomach isn't curled
And I promise to remember the Volturi
When someone speaks of dominating the world
Yes, I promise to love Twilight
Wherever I may go
So that all may see my obsession
Because I know what the Twilighters know
Scott is the caring one
Stiles is the funny one
Derek is the brooding protective one
Lydia is the smart one
Jackson is the cocky one
Erica is the tough one
Issac is the cute and temperamental one
Boyd is the silent one.
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