DoomsdayBeamXD
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Joined 02-14-13, id: 4545103, Profile Updated: 07-23-16
Author has written 1 story for How to Train Your Dragon.

Name: not happening

Author Name: DoomsdayBeamXD

Gender: Female

One word to describe me: Otaku

Fandoms and Favourite characters:

Magic Kaito 1412 – Kaitou Kid

Detective Conan – Kaitou Kid

Tanken Driland – Wallens

Sword Art Online – Kirito / Kirigaya Kazuto

Fullmetal Alchemist – Edward Elric

Shingeki no Kyojin – Eren Jaeger, Armin Arlert, & Levi Ackerman

Kuroshitsuji – Sebastian Michaelis

Real Account – Mukai Yuuma

Hetalia – Japan / Honda Kiku & England / Arthur Kirkland

Kiseijuu: Sei no Kakuritsu – Izumi Shinichi

Koutetsujou no Kabaneri – Ikoma

Boku dake ga Inai Machi – Satoru Fujinuma

Death Note – L

Tokyo Ghoul – Kaneki Ken

Another – Kouichi Sakaibara

Ao no Exorcist – Rin Okumura

Ouran High School Host Club – Hikaru & Kaoru Hitachiin

Pandora Hearts – Gilbert Nightray

Ansatsu Kyoushitsu – Nagisa Shiota

Nantsu no Taizai – Meliodas

Kaitou Joker – Kaitou Joker

Soul Eater – Death The Kid

Hataraku Maou-sama – Sadao Maou

Denpa Kyoushi – Kagami Juunichiro

Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magica – Kaname Madoka

Mayogia – Jack

Mirai Nikki – Amano Yukiteru

Bloody Junkie – Mochizuki Shouta

Akame ga Kill! – Tatsumi

Ookami Kakushi – Hiroshi Kuzumi

Zankyou no Terror – Nine & Twelve

Psycho Pass – Akane Tsunemori

DN Angel – Daisuke Niwa

Gate – Itami Yoji

Magi – Aladdin

Free! – Haruka Nanase

Sakurakosan no Ashimoto ni wa Shitai ga Umatteiru – Shoutarou Tatewaki

Monster – Dr. Tenma

Gravity Falls – Dipper Pines

Steven Universe – Garnet

SRMTHFG – Gibson & Chiro

HTTYD – Hiccup

Invader Zim – Gir

Ninjago: Masters of Spinjitzu – Cole

Star vs The Forces of Evil – Star Butterfly

Regular Show – Mordecai

A Bit About Me:

I love anime.

I’m trying to learn Japanese, little luck so far.

I want to learn karate, but I’m super clumsy.

I wear glasses.

I’m shy. And by that I MEAN SHY!

I’m super Immature, not in a way that insults other people, but rather in a way where I release my inner-child to the world.

When writer’s block strikes me, it strikes me BAD.

I love drawing so much, except for the fact that I’m really bad at it.

It could take me a long time to update, my passion for writing is big, but I’m a seriously slow writer.

I have 4 brothers and 2 sisters so I know what it’s like to have family drama.

I love cute things sooo much!

I love anime.

I LOVE RAIN!!!!!

I like the smell of incense, helps me feel at peace of heart.

I sing anime songs xD.

My friends call me a Grammar-nazi :P

I want to cosplay so baaaad~! But I don’t have the money.

I love food, but I don’t want to get fat. You feel me?

I miss going Ice-skating. Last time went when I was 6.

I still don’t know what to study when I go to college. It’s kinda stressful to decide.

I wish if I can go to Japan.

I’m a bit of a loner.

I wish if I was good at sports.

I wish if I was a Dragon.

I love taking walks.

I love Iced Tea.

I love anime. Again.

I’ve recently become a yaoi fan.

I find that there are many good animes that do not receive the proper attention it deserves.

I love Wattpad.

Having an Otaku friend in real life is the best thing in the world!

I enjoy it when my favourite characters struggle. I don’t know why though.

I could be helplessly lazy sometimes that I can’t stand myself because of it.

I’m more of an inside person.

I wake up really early every morning so that I could have the house to myself (until everyone else wakes up).

I’m saving up to buy myself a laptop, maybe then my updates wouldn’t be so deathly slow.

I want to learn how to create digital art.

I have an avoidant personality, I’m only comfortable talking with people when it’s through text messages, that’s a problem I’m trying to overcome till now.

I’m socially awkward.

Although I have so many interests in life, Religion and Family always comes first.

I used to have a pet fish. It died though.

I spend way too much time in the fictional world.

I adore chibi-styled art.

I make infinite Fanfiction stories in my head, but never get around to writing them, which is a shame since most of them are pretty good xD.

I’m scared of heights and the sea.

I have a total of two friends in real life. The rest of my friends are all online friends that I’ve never met face to face, but I kinda prefer it this way.

I don’t judge anyone for who they really are.

I wish if I can go out more but I feel uncomfortable around other people.

I don’t even have my own room xD.

I create my ideas about people depending on their actions, not their appearance or sexuality.

Did I mention that I love anime?

Important Note:

So, firstly, to people who visited my profile before, you’d noticed that I’ve done a few changes around. The list of stories that I prepared to be written has been removed because I have so much going on right now that I won’t be able to write at the moment. Additionally, all stories that I haven’t finished yet would be put on hiatus until I figure out things a little over here.

I’ll be putting my story ideas up for anyone who’s willing to take them shortly. That is because I fear that with the this school year being one of my very last before I go to college, and since I’ll be taking A levels which is super hard, I might be unable to write fanfiction at the time being and I fear that I might lose interest in my story ideas.

I may be unable to write stories until an undetermined period of time but I am still able to accept beta requests.

FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will go up to him and say "That’s right Bitch, keep walking"

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick his ass then call him and say "Watching you..."

FRIENDS: Helps you when you fall
BEST FRIENDS: Walks past you and says "Walk much?"

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.
BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if your okay when you're crying.
BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say "Ha ha loser."

FRIENDS: Will offer you their soda.
BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.
BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and shouts "Run Run."

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and grandpa, by grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents by DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS.

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Cry with you.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff then tell you "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography about your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that's what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd butts if they left you.

FRIENDS: Will knock on your door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME".

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell

FRIENDS: Will pick out a cute chick-flick to watch with you on movie night
BEST FRIENDS: Will pick out a scary ass movie for movie night then scare you and herself in the process

FRIENDS: Will say you can do better
BEST FRIENDS: Will call him and say "you have seven days to live"

FRIENDS: Ask why you're crying
BEST FRIENDS: Already have a shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry

FRIENDS: Will help you move
BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move a dead body

FRIENDS: Tell you that you look nice.
BEST FRIENDS: Say your outfit looks like throw up, and then help you find a new one 10 minutes before school starts.

FRIENDS: Say "good luck" when you go get your ears pierced.
BEST FRIENDS: Help pick out your studs, take before & after pictures of your earlobes, and then put up with the unending questions and mirror-staring.

FRIENDS: Roll their eyes when you start rambling yet again about your boyfriend (the fourth time that night).
BEST FRIENDS: Start gushing with you.

FRIENDS: Smile when you get obsessed with something.
BEST FRIENDS: Get obsessed with you.

FRIENDS: Say "see you later!"
BEST FRIENDS: Say "I LUUUUUHHHVVV you! DON'T LEAAVVEE!" and then tackle/hug you.

FRIENDS: Forgive you.
BEST FRIENDS: Hold a fake grudge against you until you let them borrow a hair band.

FRIENDS: Tell jokes with you.
BEST FRIENDS: Have countless inside jokes with you

FRIENDS: Tell you that you're the most annoying thing on earth.
BEST FRIENDS: Say the same thing, except then they laugh and say "I guess that counts for me too!"

FRIENDS: Annoy you.
BEST FRIENDS: Annoy you, but then make you laugh.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away when they think you've had enough
BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say, "Girl drink the rest of that you know we don’t waste"

FRIENDS: comfort you when you fight with your boyfriend
BEST FRIENDS: go over to his house and kick his ass

FRIENDS: tell you to forget it when you say you want to vandalize a guy's house
BEST FRIENDS: are the ones getting fined by the police with you

FRIENDS: Think your insane for jumping off a roof onto a trampoline
BEST FRIENDS: Are jumping right after you

FRIENDS: come over every couple of months for a sleepover
BEST FRIENDS: are your weekend boarders

FRIENDS: are offended when you make fun of them
BEST FRIENDS: kick your ass and all's forgiven

FRIENDS: are shy around your boyfriend
BEST FRIENDS: will tease him till he blushes redder than a fire engine

FRIENDS: don't see you if you're sick
BEST FRIENDS: are why you're sitting in bed under a blanket with a thermometer, book, and your phone

FRIENDS: dare you to scream into the street
BEST FRIENDS: dare you to go streaking

FRIENDS: call you retarded and sick for running through bleachers yelling Blood on the Dancefloor's song I Heart Hello Kitty (don't ask you don't want to know)
BEST FRIENDS: are screaming and running with you

FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.
BEST FRIENDS:
Will throw you a tampon and push you in.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Would read and ignore this
BEST FRIENDS: who would re-post this stuff!!

Bullying

The boy you punched in the hall today. Committed suicide a few minutes ago.

That girl you called a slut in class today. She's a virgin.

The boy you called lame. He has to work every night to support his family.

That girl you pushed down the other day. She's already being abused at home.

That girl you called fat. She's starving herself.

The old man you made fun of because of the ugly scars. He fought for our country.

The boy you made fun of for crying. His mother is dying.

You think you know them. Guess what? You don't! Re-post if you are against bullying. I bet 99% of you won't, but repost this if you're that 1% with a heart.

95% of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the 5% who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, DoomsdayBeamXD, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, SweetNCrazieSugarmuffin, The Komodo Dragon Phoenix, Bust_A_Groover, Tecna, Triggonseed, The Only Innocent Writer Here-Yumi, EstellaB, NarnianMelody, tookieclothespen, GentleInAMoshPit, Gothic Tiger, Amras Felagund,TrixieStixs, Onar Toa of Hunger, Super Poof, Artimus Howl, momoluvr123, Lovelysinner7, Aunna, BluePhantom99

Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you like me?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you want me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you cry if I left?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you live for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you do anything for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Choose--me or your life

Boy: My life

The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...

The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.

The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.

The reason I don't want you is because I need you.

The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.

The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.

The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.

The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.

If you find this incredibly cute and touching, copy and paste it into your profile

"If you can read this message, you are blessed, because over two billion
people in the world cannot read at all:
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The
phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde
Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the
olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae.
The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs
is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod
as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt!
Tahts so cool! If you could read that put it in your profile!"

I am the kid that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the kid that people look through when I say something. I am the kid that spends most of there free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the kid that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the kid that doesn't spend all there time on MySpace, or talking to a friend nonstop on a cellphone or regular phone. I am the kid that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the kid that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the kid who knows and is proud to be who they are, doesn’t care if people call me weird (it's a compliment),who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with alot of things, who can express themself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a bf/gf to complete him/her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the kids who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone- Bearhug946, EdwardCullenEqualsLife, Stephanie Deux,Randomenated-Cullen!, MiniBellaSwan, Jayleen-Cullen-Whitlock-Hale, Emmett or Edward, Volleyballgurl09, Radr180, Linzerj, Zakmaniac, Pikurosonai00, Aunna, BluePhantom99, DoomsdayBeamXD

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...

You talk to yourself a lot.

You talk to yourself about talking to yourself.

When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else.

At random times of the week your friends certain you have disappeared off the face of the earth and have given up hope of ever seeing you again (But eventually they will see you again.)

You live off of sugar and caffeine.

No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.

The letters on your keyboard are wearing off.

You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.

You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason

Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.

You have strange nicknames and can tell a detailed story about how you got them.

(copy that into you're profile if you fit one or more of the descriptions, actually i signed up on Fanfiction because this is where i can find people like me)

If you've been on the computer for hours on end reading numerous fanfictions, copy and paste this to your profile

If you ever wished you could live in a story, copy and paste this to your profile

If Fanfiction is your way of escaping reality and the rest of the boring people in the world and truly "unleashing your imagination" then paste this in your profile and add your name: Emerald Princess 14, StardustFromThePlanetGallifrey, NarnianLady, KingdomHeartsNerd, Lady Alice101, TheOnlyMarauderette, Foxbracken, InvaderCari (Fernpelt), Jada saturday, Kristy Annabelle Cullens, Auemha3236, DoomsdayBeamXD

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you easily finish one novel a day, copy this onto your profile.

If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you or your best friend is insane copy and paste this onto your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, which makes weird good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy & paste this onto your profile

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile

If you've ever lost someone you loved, copy and paste this onto your profile.

My best friend is insane. If you agree, or if you have an insane friend, then copy this to your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

If you hate girly-girls or people who think that they are everything, copy and paste this into your profile

If you search other people's profiles to find something to copy and paste, copy and paste this to your profile

If you are weird like me, copy and paste this to your profile

if you want a season 5 for SRMTHFG, copy and paste this to your profile

If you want a movie for SRMTHFG, copy and paste this to your profile

If you want Nickelodeon to continue Airing episodes for Invader ZIM, copy and paste this on your profile

If you have a crush on any fictional character, copy & paste this to your profile and add your name to this list: Sounddrive, Winterbornbree, GiLaw, Pizzagirl5640, DoomsdayBeamXD

If you're older than 12 and still love cartoons, copy & paste this to your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy & paste this to your profile.

If you've ever threatened your computer, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever gotten so sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember what you were talking about in the first place, copy this onto your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think Writer's Block is EVIL, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself/someone else, copy this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

Copy this and paste it on your profile if you think sarcasm is a conditioned reflex.

If you have ever wished you could talk to animals, paste this into your profile.

If you have a tendency to talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that writing Fanfic stories is fun then copy this onto your profile!

How to Train Your Dragon lover!
W Please
E copy
L and paste
O this if
V You Feel
E That
Y Dragons
O Have Touched
U Your Heart

If you've ever wished that dragons existed in our time, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever cried when your favorite character died/almost died, copy and paste this into your profile

EVER WONDER:

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual labels on consumer goods:

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Fritos! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?

On a bar o f Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought?...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because?...)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

On a can of cashews: Warning: May contain cashews. (Really? I never would have guessed!)

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity copy and paste this into your profile! XD

50 ways to get kicked out of Walmart

1. Start to follow someone who has a cart. When they turn to look at something take the cart and ride it like you did when you were a little kid and yell "FOR NARNIA!" if they try to stop you yell "psycho KILLER!"

2. Knocking down a tower of toilet paper or something! ;) like a huge pyramid of it...

3. If Walmart has no tower of toilet paper, build a pyramid of it and make demands like a pharaoh.

4. Ride a bike/skateboard through the store

5. Buy water guns and have a water gun fight with your friends.

6. Have a nerf gun war.

7. Stand in the freezers.

8. While standing in a freezer, blow on the glass and write swears

9. Take a bike horn and run around the store honking it.

10. If someone askes if they can help you find something, jump up and down screaming "WHY ARE YOU PEOPLE BOTHERING ME!!!"

11. Scream a bunch of weird stuff.

12. Play hide'n'seek with your friends.

13. Play tag.

14. Ride a bike (or trike, whatever your style) around the store, and when management comes to stop you, yell "YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME ALIVE COPPERS!"

15. Sit in the check-out line and randomly quack.

16. Pretend you don't speak English well, and go talk to a staff member. In a very loud accented voice, ask them what isle they buy their fattness in. Or, just ask them something to that affect.

17. Get rolls of wrapping paper and pretend to kill people when they have their backs turned.

18. Get a witch hat and a long grey fake beard and find a staff. Stand in front of the bathrooms and stomp the staff on every word. Say to people that try to enter "YOU. SHALL. NOT. PASS!"

19. Put all the girl toys in the boy's isle and all the boy toys in the girl isle.

20. Move the chocolate stands to the women's area for that special time of the month.

21. Go to the paint section. Take a paint card and insist that other shoppers tell you if that color makes you look fat.

22. Get a Slenderman morphsuit. Stalk little kids in the children's toys area.

23. Dress as the Grim Reaper (scythe and everything) and stay absolutely silent. Go to that special time of the month section and look like you're thinking hard about what to choose. Scratch your head and ask for opinions on tampons.

24. Use thongs as sling shots and have a sling shot war with your friends.

25. Throw embarrassing thongs into people's carts when they're not looking.

26. Put on random mixed matched clothes you have no intention to pay for and run around screaming about aliens.

27. Make a male friend walk around the store in one of their neon bras and ask people "Does this look like it fits?"

28. Lecture about the importance of personal hygiene. (dress like a complete slob that day)

29. Buy bleach, gloves, a set of knives, and garbage bags. Go to the cash register and buy it with a straight face. Return a few days later and return them saying "Turns out I didn't need it. Someone already took care of the job. Watch their reactions.

30. Play red-rover with people that don't know they're playing.

31. Walk around poking people, and when they ask you to stop say "mommy would've said that." Then curl into a ball and cry. When they try and comfort you, say in a demonic voice "Don't friggen touch me peasant."

32. Scream inside the freezer at the top of your lungs saying you're frozen in time.

33. Fill shopping carts and leave them around the store in strategic places.

34. Beg to use the loud speakers, then sing One Direction at the top of your lungs.

35. Cram as many of the "Free Cookie" samples into your mouth as you can.

36. Find excuses to tell people your name is "Pat Mahigne".

37. Grab a plunger and chase people with it screaming "IT'S BLACK FRIDAY!"

38. Set out the G-I-Joe's and place them in a war against the Barbies.

39. Bet on the above war.

40. Hold indoor shopping cart races.

41. Propose to random people.

42. Grab the price scaner gun, and use it to threaten people.

43. Cram yourself into large duffle bags.

44. Attempt to cram others into large duffle bags, against their will.

45. Walk up to a janitor and say "I think we have a Code 4, in isle 3."

46. Run off with people's shopping carts when they aren't looking.

47. Walk up to an old guy and say "Grandpa? You're Alive? It's a miracle!"

48. Lie down in the isle and pretend to/actualy sleep

49. Challenge people to duels with the wrapping paper.

50. As your grand finale, gather people around and read FanFiction to children/people that are familiar with the subject.

NORMAL PEOPLE/HTTYD FANS:

NORMAL PEOPLE: rely on their local weatherman for the weather forecast
HTTYD FANS: will tell Thor to make a storm

NORMAL PEOPLE: go to a psychiatrist to tell their feelings
HTTYD FANS: won't go to one because they will take away your awesomeness of being yourself!

NORMAL PEOPLE: say shut up or I'll tell on you!
HTTYD FANS: say shut up or my dragon will burn you!

NORMAL PEOPLE: think that HTTYD fans are crazy
HTTYD FANS: know that normal people aren't themselves

NORMAL PEOPLE: when being chased yell HELP ME SOMEBODY!
HTTYD FANS: when being chased call their dragon for help

NORMAL PEOPLE: get nervous/scared during thunderstorms
HTTYD FANS: yell NIGHT FURY, GET DOWN!

NORMAL PEOPLE: would choose somewhere sunny to go for vacation
HTTYD FANS: would try and find Berk

NORMAL PEOPLE: don't have this on their profile
HTTYD FANS: MUST have this on their profile!

NORMAL PEOPLE: On a bad day will say "Today is just not my day."
HTTYD FANS: will say "The God Hate Me!

How To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. When caught sleeping at school/work/wherever you are not supposed to be sleeping, and you are woken up, shout, "AMEN!"

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. When you drop a pen, don't pick it up. When someone reaches to pick it up for you, scream, "Wait! That's mine!!!"

7. Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'.

9. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'

18. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'

20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity...

Copy and Paste this To Make People who read bios Smile.

10 Ways To Be S-T-U-P-I-D:

1. Ask For Directions To A Place You’re Already At.

2. Try To Order Pizza From McDonalds.

3. Get Hit By A Parked Car.

4. Try To Watch Saturday Cartoons On A Thursday.

5. Try To Sell Your Money.

6. Try To Play The Alphabet On The Piano.

7. Eat All You Can Eat At A Store.

8. Get Into A Fight With Yourself And Lose.

9. Try To Go Swimming Without Getting Wet.

10. Ask For Diet Water At A Restaurant

How to know that you're Crazy:

Crazy is when you have a voice in your head that you named Pedro, even though he clearly isn't spanish and you just do that to annoy him.

Crazy is when you're so obsessed with eating your Jell-o (and you forgot to put a spoon in your lunch box) that you try drinking your Jell-o through a straw and using straw chopsticks because straws were the only untensil-type thing available.

Crazy is when you start dancing in Walmart to its cheesy music.

Crazy is when you laugh uncontrollably at your own jokes.

Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what is so interesting about the eraser.

Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on.

Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself.

Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do.

Crazy is when you laugh when nothing's funny.

Crazy is when you crack up if someone says "Oatmeal!".

Crazy is when you forget what you're saying in the middle of a sentence.

Crazy is when you take the time to write down stuff like this and memorize it.

Crazy is when you're going through this as a checklist.

Crazy is when you quote Charlie the Unicorn at random moments.

Crazy is when you eat twenty pixie sticks in one day.

Crazy is when you're crazy.

Crazy is when start talking nonsense everyday during gym.

Crazy is when you convince your friends your 'high' because you can't stop laughing even when nothing is funny. And then all of you convince the nearest adult that you're having a breakdown.

Crazy is when you trip up the stairs, and laugh all the way back down them.

Crazy is when it is the last day of school and you scream and run around in circles.

Crazy is when you get drunk on air and laugh during the saddest part of the movie.

Crazy is when you can call yourself something else, and completely become that person, forgetting your reason for hating the world.

Crazy is when you laugh at nothing during school and laugh when everyone looks at you like your insane.

Crazy is when you trip over nothing at all, fall, and say "I see the ground...it's pretty."

Crazy is when you are asked to get someone's phone from the other room, and you go and grab it epically, then crack up and spit out your Oreos halfway through.

Crazy is when you go in your backyard and have conversations with yourself and non-existant people while gesturing wildly.

Crazy is when you go outside and show off your Just Dance 2 moves in the rain. While singing along.

Crazy is when you watch Lord of the Rings with your family, and at the end, when they discuss it like nerds, you nod like you get it and when they finish talking, you look at something random and say, "Oh, shiny!...wait...what were we talking about again?"

Crazy is AWESOME!!!

Crazy is when you is on Skype, and your friend randomly says, "Well, that guy's headed for certain death," and you laugh.

Crazy is saying, "There's a car in a river, and people in the car. How is that a fail? That's a win!!!"

Crazy is when you read crack pairing fics and make your own when you're bored.

Crazy is when you have memorized all the words to llamas with hats and repeat them to random people, just so you can creep them out.

Crazy is when you randomly say 'moo' or 'cheese'.

Crazy am when you don't not got no good grammars.

Crazy is when you receive daily threats to get put in an asylum.

Crazy is when you make a list of where you put everything so as not to lose it, and you lose the list.

Crazy is when you can voluntarily make your eye twitch, and it looks realistic, too!

Crazy is when you ferociously growl like a mad wolf when your friends annoy you.

Crazy is when you put it on your To-Do list to memorize the universe's top ten most annoying songs.

Crazy is when you are in a quiet classroom, you fall out of your chair backwards, and start laughing insanely while everyone stares at you.

Crazy is when you constantly shout out non-sequitors. TORTELLINI!!!!!!!

Crazy is when you like eating paper.

Crazy is when you eat a paper and get a paper cut in your tongue.

Crazy is when you bend your computer or DS screen and threaten it when it's being slow or you lose a game.

Crazy is when you say something that makes no sense to anyone but you and doesn't actually relate to anything, but you crack up, and when everyone stars giving you "looks", you cover up by saying it's an "inside joke."

Crazy is when you are PROUD of the fact that you can bash your head against a Wall for five straight minutes and not feel a thing.

Crazy is when your stuff keeps falling out of your locker, and you randomly snap and start punching and kicking it and screaming, "HOW DO YA' LIKE ME NOW?!?!? HUH?!? YOU WANT SOME A' DIS?!? HUH? HUH?!?" and not even noticing that everyone is stopping and staring at you.

Crazy is when you burn your tongue on a hot liquid or something like that, shriek, spaz out, wonder how long it will take for your taste buds to grow back, then continue drinking the scalding liquid like nothing happened.

Crazy is when you have a staring contest with yourself.

Crazy is when you've unintentionally done half, or more, of the things on this list.

Crazy is when you meow according to how you're feeling. (Happy meow when you're happy. Angry meow when you're angry.)

Crazy is when you put an entry in this list, then go back and re-paste it onto your profile months later.

Crazy is when you walk into a wall, and then say, "Excuse me ma'am" until someone points out that the wall isn't going to move out of your way.

Crazy is when you yell PIE randomly

Crazy is when you imagine your favourite character and you start a fight with him/her

Crazy is when you watch an action show and die when the bullets get fired

If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!

1. It's impossible to stick out your tongue and look at the ceiling at the same time

2. Idiots will try number one...

3. and find out that it was fake

4. You are smiling because you know you're an Idiot

5. You're about to copy and paste this into your profile

6. You still have a stupid grin on your face

if you fell for this, copy and paste this on your profile

THIS IS IMPORTANT!

Month one

Mommy I am only 8 inches long

but I have all my organs.

I love the sound of your voice.

Every time I hear it I wave my arms and legs.

The sound of your heart beat is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy

today I learned how to suck my thumb.

If you could see me you could definitely tell that I am a baby.

I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.

It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy I'm a girl!!

I hope that makes you happy.

I always want you to be happy.

I don't like it when you cry.

You sound so sad.

It makes me sad too and I cry with you

even though you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy my hair is starting to grow.

It is very short and fine but I will have a lot of it.

I spend a lot of my time exercising.

I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes and stretch my arms and legs.

I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.

Mommy, he lied to you.

He said that I'm not a baby.

I am a baby Mommy, your baby.

I think and feel. Mommy,

what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.

I don't like him. He seems cold and heartless.

Something is intruding my home.

The doctor called it a needle.

Mommy what is it?

It burns!

Please make him stop!

I can't get away from it!

Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy I am okay.

I am in God's arms.

He is holding me.

He told me about abortion.

Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped.

Two more eyes that will never see.

Two more hands that will never touch.

Two more legs that will never run.

One more mouth that will never speak.

If you're against Abortion, repost this

A Girl and Guy were speeding over 100 M.P.H. on a motorcycle

Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!

Guy: No, this is fun.

Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl: I love you, now slow down!

Guy: Now give me a big hug.

Girl: *gives him a big hug*

Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself? It's bothering me.

In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of brake failure.
Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was, that halfway down the road, the guy realized his brake wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know.
Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him.
Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died.
Copy this onto your profile if you would do the same thing for someone you love.

Try not to cry

Mommy... Johnny brought a gun to school, He told his friends that it was cool.

And when he pulled the trigger back, it shot with a big huge crack!

Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told. I got straight A's, even got the gold.

When I went to school that day, I never said goodbye, I'm sorry that I had to go but Mommy please don't cry.

When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another, and all because Johnny got the gun from his brother.

Mommy, please tell Daddy I love him very much. and please tell Zach, my boyfriend, it wasn't just a crush.

And tell my little sister that she is the only one now; and tell my dear sweet grandmother I'll be waiting for her now.

tell all my wonderful friends they were always the best; Mommy I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest.

Mommy, tell my teachers i won't show up for class, and never to forget this, and please don't let this pass.

Mommy, why did it have to be me? No one, though, deserves this.

But Mommy it's not fair, I left without a kiss. But Mommy it's not fair, I left without a kiss.

I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry.

Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest. but Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest.

When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could.

Please listen to me if you would.

I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new.

I guess I'm not going with Daddy on that trip to the new zoo.

I wanted to get married; I wanted to have a kid; I wanted to be an actress; I wanted to live.

But Mommy I must go now; The time is getting late, Mommy tell my Zach, I'm sorry to cancel the date.

I love you Mommy,I always have, I know you know it's true. And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you,"

In memory of the Columbine & Virginia Tech students who were lost. Please if you would, don't smash this to the ground. If you pass this on, maybe people would cry, just keep this in your heart, For the people who didn't get to say goodbye.

Now you have two choices: Pass this on, and show people you care or Don't send it and you just proven how cold-hearted you really are...

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

If you've ever burst into song for no reason, copy and paste this to your profile.

If for no reason you have laughed at a part in a movie that really wasn't funny, copy and paste this into your profile.

If someone has ever said something to you that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are in lala land most of the time, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile.

REASONS TO JOIN THE DARK SIDE (If you wish to join add this list to your profile):

1. We have cookies (last I checked there was hot chocolate too)


2. Meet the recruitment bunny!(Up there)


3. You get a cool dark cape that covers your whole body!


4. You get a really cool crazy laugh! Practice with me, people: MWA HAHAHAHA cough cough!


5. You get to walk out of shadows mysteriously and freak out the good guys!


6. One word: UNDERLINGS! Someone to get things for you when you're too lazy to do them yourself... Now that's the life!


7. Money, Money, Money : Ever notice that we are usually much richer than the good guys?


8. WORLD DOMINATION! THE BEST reason


9. We have Edward Elric on our side! So of COURSE we're going to win! (have you seen him when he's angry?)

DRAGON PRIDE METER: 100% If You're Proud To Be A Dragon Lover Stick This On Your Page!

u cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.

All movies ruin the books they were based on. This is a scientifically proven fact.

The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.

You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you are all the same.

Retreating? Hell no, we're just attacking the other direction!

Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?

Out of my mind, please leave a message.

Don't you dare tell me the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon.

I was going to take over the world, but I got distracted by something sparkly.

If you don't laugh at yourself, I'll be glad to do it for you. :)

Don't hit kids. No, seriously, they have guns now.

When you want to fool the world, tell the truth.

You know when you lived in 2007 when...

1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards for years

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have a screenname or Myspace

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV

6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends...

9.) ...and you were too busy to notice number 5.

10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly. Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did.

The Rules

1. The female ALWAYS makes the rules!

2. The rules are subject to change without notice.

3. No male can possibly know all the rules.

4. If the female suspects that the male knows all the rules, she must immediately change them.

5. The female is NEVER WRONG!

6. If the female is wrong, it is due to a flagrant misunderstanding, which is a direct result of something the male did or said wrong.

7. If the above rule applies, the male must immediately apologize for the misunderstanding.

8. The male must never change his mind without expressed written permission from the female.

9. The female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.

10. The male must remain calm at all times unless the female wants him to be angry or upset.

11. The female under no circumstances can allow the male to know whether or not she wants him to be angry or upset.

12. The supreme rule is number 5.

Mark the Stupid things that you've done:(Marked is Bold,Unmarked is normal)

1. Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were talking

2. Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were NOT talking

3. You have ran into a glass/screen door

4. You have jumped out of a moving vehicle

5. You have thought of something funny and laughed, then people gave you weird looks

6. You have ran into a tree

7. It IS possible to lick your elbow

8. You tried to lick your elbow

9. You never knew that the Alphabet and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star have the same rhythm

10. You just tried to sing them

11. You have tripped on your shoelace and fallen

12. You have choked on your own spit

13. You have seen the the Matrix and still don't get it..

14. You didn't notice that in the last question 'the' was spelled twice

15. You just looked at it

16. Your almost drowned when you tried swimming, with the knowledge that you can’t swim

17. A LOT of People have called you slow

18. You have accidentally caught something on fire ( I do that A LOT. )

19. You tried to drink out of a straw, but it went into your nose/eyes

20. You have caught yourself drooling

21. You've fallen asleep in class

22. Sometimes you just stop thinking

23. You are telling a story and forget what you were talking about

24. People are often shaking their heads and walk away from you

25. You are often told to use your 'inside voice'

26. You use your fingers to do simple math

27. You have eaten a bug (It really tastes bad)

28. You are taking this test when you should be doing something important.

29. You have put your clothes on backwards or inside out, and didn't realize it

30. You've looked all over for something and realized it was in your hand or pocket

31. You sometimes post bulletins because you are scared that what they say will happen to you if you don't, even when you know it won't happen to you, like on a myspace . . .

32. You break a lot of things

33. Your friends know not to use big words around you

34. You sometimes tilt your head when you're confused

35. You have fallen out of your chair before

36. When you're lying in bed, you try to find pictures in the texture of the ceiling/wall.

37. The word 'like' is used many times a day

38. You called a friend and then completely forgot what you were gonna say

39. You have spelled your name wrong

40. You have drawn a disformed heart

There were 2 girls

They were looking through peoples MySpaces.

The girl slowly came upon this one myspace.

It had creatures in the background and the man looked like a psycho.

She started laughing with her friend commenting on how ugly he was.

Right then, an instant message came up.

It said:

SatanStalker: So how do u like my MySpace??

XxLoVemExX: What??

XxLoVemExX: Who is this anyway??

SatanStalker: Well, you should know; youre looking at my MySpace right now.

XxLoVemExX: How do you know that im looking at ur pro??

SatanStalker: I know when people look at my MySpace.

XxLoVemExX: What? That doesnt make any sense, how?

SatanStalker: I just do.

Satanstalker: Especially to pretty girls like you.

Satanstalker: With very nice legs I might say.

At the time the girl was wearing high shorts.

She started to pull them down a little bit to cover what ever she could. Her and her friend started to get worried now.

XxLoVemExX: Ok whatever man youre starting to scare the living sht out of me.

SatanStalker: You should be afraid.

SatanStalker: You wouldnt want an ugly guy like me touching your legs huh? I mean thats what you just said about me with your friend like a minute ago.

They were in shock.

Her friend: Holy crap man just block him hes a fcking psycho!

The girl: Ok holy crap, you think hes watching us?

SatanStalker: I am.

SatanStalker: Well it wouldnt really matter if you blocked me anyway; it wouldnt stop me from coming to your house.

XxLoVemExX: What? My house?

SatanStalker: Yeah, youre alone so its not a problem.

XxLoVemExX: Ok I think Im going to leave now because youre freaking me out.

SatanStalker: Your screen name says love me, trust me that wont be a problem.

SatanStalker has just signed off.

The girl and her friend were really scared.

Girl's friend: Whatever lets just go upstairs trust me I doubt hes really coming. Its just a joke from someone.

They went upstairs and were having a pillow fight.

All of a sudden the girls friend said she had to go to the bathroom. The girl said ok.

Ten minutes later the girl noticed that her friend was still in the bathroom and was wondering what was up.

She goes and knocks but no one said anything

she opens it and finds her friend there on the ground dead. She started to scream but when she turned around he was there. News the next morning said that there was one girl dead in the bathroom;

her neck sliced with blood all over the ground. with her head nailed to the wall. Just her head.

If you do not repost this in the next two minutes here will be three men, one in your bathroom,

one in your room, and one killing your parents at that very moment.

Tonight at 1:30am. Well what are you waiting for?

Repost or you are going to die

Yeah, so that’s about it xD if you actually read up to this point then wow, I am impressed. Ja ne minna-san~

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

The Sick Alchemist by The Flame Alchemist 13 reviews
Roy Mustang had many questions. But no question was as unexplainable to as why he was stuck babysitting a sick Alchemist. Nobody asked if he was okay with it, they just dumped him on his couch and left. Now what was he suppose to do? He wasn't fit taking care of him, he's never even been near a sick child before! Parental!Royed. NOT YAOI!
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 20 - Words: 75,771 - Reviews: 160 - Favs: 86 - Follows: 91 - Updated: 7/24 - Published: 3/26 - Edward E., Roy M.
At Gate's Edge by Winds of Water reviews
Love's never easy as it is, but it's twice as hard when you're separated by life and death. RoyEd
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 51 - Words: 400,728 - Reviews: 1804 - Favs: 967 - Follows: 1,037 - Updated: 7/19 - Published: 7/19/2009 - Edward E., Roy M.
A Sense of Reality by Jyxxie reviews
In the bid to restore Al's body at the end of Brotherhood, Ed pays more than he'd ever intended, becoming a prisoner in his own body. RoyEd.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Drama - Chapters: 83 - Words: 210,035 - Reviews: 799 - Favs: 278 - Follows: 351 - Updated: 7/7 - Published: 1/17/2015 - Edward E., Roy M.
On Wings of Steel by 26 Combo reviews
AU: They say he has golden locks that drape over his broad shoulders along with a rough and worn face. He was garbed in a tattered and beaten cloak, said to be colored red with the blood of his enemies. But the one thing that stood out above all was his metal arm and leg, believed to be granted to him by the devil himself as a reward for cheating death one too many times.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 13 - Words: 38,564 - Reviews: 79 - Favs: 51 - Follows: 63 - Updated: 7/1 - Published: 3/21 - Alphonse E., Edward E., Roy M.
Flame and Fullmetal by reminiscent-afterthought reviews
Roy had a lot of dreams. They started crumbling one by one, starting with becoming a State Alchemist at twenty-three, only to be assigned to the youngest State Alchemist in history.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 29 - Words: 53,467 - Reviews: 62 - Favs: 92 - Follows: 120 - Updated: 6/30 - Published: 8/3/2015 - Edward E., Roy M.
How could you? by jmtothemusic reviews
Edward Elric has been in prison for six days, four hours, and twenty-eight minutes. The reason..? For the murder of Colonel Roy Mustang.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Angst/Crime - Chapters: 13 - Words: 23,072 - Reviews: 177 - Favs: 85 - Follows: 139 - Updated: 3/25 - Published: 7/23/2013 - Edward E., Riza H., Jean H., Roy M.
Just This Once by just-O reviews
Just some short, stand alone one-shots in which Mustang finds himself allowing Fullmetal to be treated like a child just this once. (But really it'll be multiple times in different one-shots). Here in lies: Fluffy PARENTAL!RoyEd. Rated T for some swears but content is K-plus.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Family/Friendship - Chapters: 6 - Words: 13,719 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 47 - Updated: 3/20 - Published: 3/7 - Edward E., Roy M.
PRECIOUS by Oliveoylxm reviews
When Alphonse suddenly snapped one day in central command and takes Edward for his own who will save the small alchemist? Alphonse gets angry and possessive when someone trys to flirt with Edward and steals and locks Edward up for his own viewing. AlxEd no like no read.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 836 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 4 - Published: 3/2 - Alphonse E., Edward E.
Sick Day by Justine Dahino reviews
Very short story about Nakamori-keibu being sick. Fluff.
Magic Kaito/まじっく快斗 - Rated: K - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 176 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/2 - Kaito K., G. Nakamori - Complete
Stairway to Paradise by RainFlame reviews
Ed has been MIA for months, and when Roy finally finds him, he is blind and more than just physically injured. With the State honorably discharging him, and no father to speak of, Roy has no choice but to care for the boy and try to put the pieces back together. Parental!Roy. Rating for injury and violence, just to be safe.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 41 - Words: 173,745 - Reviews: 1997 - Favs: 974 - Follows: 1,207 - Updated: 3/1 - Published: 6/18/2013 - Edward E., Roy M.
Devious Minds by AkiLynn reviews
With the Black Organization becoming more active, Conan has his hands full. But when another crime syndicate begins to make some aggressive moves, Conan might be in over his head. Luckily, he has some help even if it is in the form of a hotheaded Osakan detective, a stuck-up British sleuth, and an arrogant white-clad thief.
Detective Conan/Case Closed - Rated: T - English - Drama/Friendship - Chapters: 11 - Words: 34,296 - Reviews: 138 - Favs: 219 - Follows: 296 - Updated: 2/20 - Published: 11/1/2013 - Shinichi K./Conan E., Heiji H., Kaito K., Saguru H.
Wrong Number Gone Right by StillNotGinger10 reviews
When grad student Edward Elric accidentally texts the wrong number, he unwittingly begins a friendship with a mysterious Colonel he knows only as Flame. Mostly texting fic, but will have regular narrative later.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 9,939 - Reviews: 95 - Favs: 100 - Follows: 156 - Updated: 2/20 - Published: 11/11/2015 - [Edward E., Roy M.] Alphonse E.
Almost by twilighteve-writes reviews
A series of interconnected one-shot featuring Parental!Royed with a splash of Parental!RizaXEd and bits of Royai during a period in which Roy, Riza and Ed had to pose as family in a mission. As time goes on, they became closer and closer. Almost like a real family.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: K - English - Family - Chapters: 34 - Words: 80,491 - Reviews: 538 - Favs: 393 - Follows: 421 - Updated: 2/20 - Published: 5/24/2015 - [Roy M., Riza H.] Edward E. - Complete
Your Last Day by Fallen Crest reviews
AU The assassination of Fullmetal set forth chaos that was never anticipated. Hughes loses his trust in Mustang as his investigation leads to him being suspicious of his friend. Mustang attempts to stall Hughes to protect his subordinates, while Ed is in turmoil about hiding the fact he is alive to his brother who is struggling to discover the truth of what happened to his brother.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 12 - Words: 58,241 - Reviews: 236 - Favs: 238 - Follows: 324 - Updated: 2/14 - Published: 3/9/2013 - Edward E., Maes H., Roy M.
Dressed to Impress by Lisa Telramor reviews
Kid is disguised as a woman and decides it would be fun to see how Saguru reacts to being flirted with. Saguru decides to play along.
Magic Kaito/まじっく快斗 - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,534 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 6 - Published: 2/13 - Kaito K., Saguru H. - Complete
After the War by Clarissa Gavin reviews
Re-acclimating to normal life after 30 years in hell won't be easy, even for genius Stanford Pines. But he's dealt with much worse before; there's no way he can't handle this on his own, right? And the last person he wants to know about his problems is Stanley. PTSD!Ford, no Stancest. Cross-posted on AO3.
Gravity Falls - Rated: T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,113 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 1/31 - Published: 12/15/2015 - Grunkle Stan, Grunkle Ford
Come Hell Or High Water by manga.geek.3 reviews
"Bastard Colonel." He muttered under his breathe. "All his-" cough, "fault." - Where Ed gets kidnapped and tortured. Rated T for language and obviously torture. Please R&R! Always makes my day! One-Shot. Slight Parental!RoyEd And unfortunately I do not own them.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,754 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 81 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 1/30 - Published: 5/9/2015 - Alphonse E., Edward E., Riza H., Roy M. - Complete
Out with the Old by ohmytheon reviews
There's just one last thing keeping Edward Elric from becoming an adult - and it's a stupid, wobbly baby tooth that is trying to be more of a pain in the ass than his commanding officer, Colonel Mustang.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: K - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,655 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 3 - Published: 1/14 - Edward E., Roy M., Riza H. - Complete
Shining Metal by mistyrose224 reviews
Edward goes against Roy's orders and nearly gets flamed for it. Humor One-Shot!
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,107 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/13 - Edward E., Roy M. - Complete
Taut by The Teeta Monster reviews
When a terrible disease robs his Edward of his body, he must rely on those around him to keep him alive. Parental!Royed This is a sick fic LET ME HAVE MY FUN!
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 8 - Words: 30,295 - Reviews: 67 - Favs: 93 - Follows: 129 - Updated: 1/7 - Published: 8/31/2015 - Alphonse E., Edward E., Riza H., Roy M.
Going Grey by The Forgotten Nobody reviews
Roy gets his first grey hair. Ed/Roy
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 909 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/31/2015 - Edward E., Roy M. - Complete
Blood Lust by Cosmic Creativity reviews
A string of murders have been going on in Central. Puncture marks on the victims' necks have most of the city suspecting "vampires", but Mustang isn't so convinced. Now, suddenly with Ed being a main suspect, can Mustang and his team prove the boy's innocence? Or will these "supernatural" murderers be allowed to continue unpunished? Parental!RoyEd
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Horror/Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 995 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 14 - Published: 12/30/2015 - Edward E., Maes H., Roy M.
Christmas Humor by mistyrose224 reviews
Roy gritted his teeth as his onyx eyes fell on the poorly wrapped present on his desk. He marched over to it and picked it up, reading the familiar scrawling. He felt an explosion of heat boiling in his chest. "Dear Bastard, hope you enjoyed your destroyed office. I overheard how you don't like Christmas so I thought I'd help put you in the spirit. Enjoy!- Fullmetal." One Shot!
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,007 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 5 - Published: 12/24/2015 - Edward E., Roy M. - Complete
When The Brit Yells, Everyone Listens by SerasianWind reviews
The task force is annoyed, Kid wants to play, and Hakuba wishes they would all shut up. Collaboration with LadyTale.
Magic Kaito/まじっく快斗 - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 748 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/20/2015 - Saguru H. - Complete
Silken Strands by 1freespirit reviews
[Oneshot] Set after episode 5 "Rain of Sorrows," Mustang wants Ed and Al to stay in Central for the night, telling them to lay low until they can go to Resembool in the morning. Late at night though, Ed has a favor to ask of Mustang since he can't do it himself, and well, there's literally no one else he can ask. Parental!RoyEd (not the ship) and bits of fluff if you can find it.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,433 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 2 - Published: 10/18/2015 - Edward E., Roy M. - Complete
Changeling's Deceit by twilighteve-writes reviews
People were disappearing from a small town on North-East Area borders, and Edward and Alphonse were sent to investigate it. Between being accused as the dog of the military and a faeling, this mission hadn't been fun for Edward at all. But then all stakes went higher, and all fell to Alphonse's hands to deal with. Because Ed, too, disappeared.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Supernatural - Chapters: 10 - Words: 42,272 - Reviews: 68 - Favs: 77 - Follows: 76 - Updated: 10/11/2015 - Published: 5/15/2015 - Alphonse E., Edward E., Roy M. - Complete
Warmth by Sumei1 reviews
[Series of One-Shots, varying themes] Because the Elric family was a thing that really should've been elaborated on in all their disorder and adorableness. Holds my attempts at fluff. Disclaimer: FMA and all related ideas belong to their respective owners.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,576 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 9/29/2015 - Published: 9/26/2015 - [Trisha E., Hohenheim] Alphonse E., Edward E.
I Wasn't Supposed To Love You by Cosmic Creativity reviews
He was sent to protect the Fullmetal Alchemist, Edward Elric, an important human sacrifice. He had to keep the pipsqueak alive. That was it! He was not supposed to fall in love with him! That just wasn't supposed to happen!... But it did.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Romance/Suspense - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,055 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 9/28/2015 - Published: 9/26/2015 - [Edward E., Envy]
His Butler: His Alchemist by jmtothemusic reviews
Edward is drawn into London's Victorian era, faced by a pretentious upper class and manners. When he's rescued by our favorite butler, Sebastian, he is forced to take refuge in the Phantomhive estate...unfortunately, Ciel isn't too happy about this. Slight AU. Drama and Angst, with a touch of Humor: After all, Edward is not familiar with a little thing called 'manners'.
Crossover - Fullmetal Alchemist & Kuroshitsuji - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 12 - Words: 20,748 - Reviews: 169 - Favs: 214 - Follows: 264 - Updated: 7/10/2015 - Published: 7/13/2013 - Edward E., Sebastian M., Ciel P.
The Charity Event by Rei Kiri reviews
Every year the military holds a competition of the most profiting charity event planned by the different departments. Roy's team never bothers to participate, but this year there's a prize... and they want it. EdxRoy
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 21 - Words: 100,838 - Reviews: 206 - Favs: 163 - Follows: 226 - Updated: 6/26/2015 - Published: 3/22/2013 - [Edward E., Roy M.]
Angel Killer by rotten little rat reviews
It has always been my job to kill these angels. Especially this little red angel... Kidnapped Ed! ParentalRoyEdAl! Royai and EdWin
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Horror - Chapters: 5 - Words: 5,099 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 63 - Follows: 91 - Updated: 6/25/2015 - Published: 11/30/2011 - Edward E., Roy M.
The Compass Club by purpledragon6 reviews
When an estranged relative waltzes into Shinichi's life again one day, the shrunken detective finds himself thrown into the center of hilarious hijinks, as he pools in favors from all of his in-the-loop allies in an attempt to keep his secret safe. Only one OC who isn't even in half of this.
Detective Conan/Case Closed - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,139 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 6/14/2015 - Published: 7/29/2013 - Shinichi K./Conan E., Heiji H., Kaito K., Saguru H.
Kaitou Kid's Apprentice by KaitoPhantom1412 reviews
Kaitou KID gets an annoying apprentice. Join Kaito Kuroba and Haru Akimoto (OC) as they test the bonds of true friendship while dealing with crazy heists, evil witches, nosy detectives, and a secret crime organization! Super Kawaii OC appearance! Please R&R! Rated T just in case! (Only Canon pairings)
Detective Conan/Case Closed - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 29 - Words: 43,578 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 6/4/2015 - Published: 12/8/2014 - Shinichi K./Conan E., Kaito K., Aoko N., OC
To Bleed Each Other White by twilighteve-writes reviews
A war is brewing between Amestris and Creta. Roy and Edward knew that once it hit their way, Edward might be called to serve as a human weapon. But while they mentally prepared themselves for the inevitable, what they weren't prepared for struck: Edward was kidnapped.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Crime/Family - Chapters: 9 - Words: 30,224 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 76 - Follows: 76 - Updated: 5/2/2015 - Published: 2/16/2015 - Alphonse E., Edward E., Riza H., Roy M. - Complete
The 36 Kidnappings of Edward Elric by Victorious-Mind reviews
Being such an important person to the military and to the country, Edward Elric the Fullmetal Alchemist is a common target for kidnappers. So how does it happen? Does he manage to escape each time? Or does he wait for his rescuers? 36 one-shots where Ed gets kidnapped. Parental!RoyEd included. Rated T for violence and other stuff.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Crime/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 13 - Words: 36,570 - Reviews: 432 - Favs: 415 - Follows: 445 - Updated: 1/29/2015 - Published: 6/25/2013
A Different Kind of Flame by twilighteve-writes reviews
If there was a word Roy Mustang would use to describe Edward Elric, itwas 'fiery'. Today, he found a new kind of fire in the young alchemist.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: K+ - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,928 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 8 - Published: 1/23/2015 - Alphonse E., Edward E., Roy M. - Complete
Selfish by Talon of soaring Eagle reviews
Roy pulled away, something was wrong. "Ed?" He asked very carefully. The boy looked at him, usually fierce golden eyes wide and fearful, something was very very wrong.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,544 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 11 - Published: 11/13/2014 - Alphonse E., Edward E., Roy M.
Smile For Me by 15x6x4-ever reviews
"Smile, ochibi-chan. Smile!" Never would Ed have guessed how much truth lay behind those mocking words. Edvy
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: M - English - Romance/Horror - Chapters: 26 - Words: 60,057 - Reviews: 218 - Favs: 135 - Follows: 149 - Updated: 7/6/2014 - Published: 7/28/2012 - [Edward E., Envy]
At Pain Of by Shooting Star Sky Saint reviews
Trisha looked Ed in the eyes, worry suspended into her emerald orbs, while Ed was crying heavily. "I-It hurts... it hurts, Mom... it hu-hurts..." Disease Fic. AU.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,602 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 29 - Published: 3/15/2014 - Alphonse E., Edward E., Hohenheim, Trisha E.
Rust by reminiscent-afterthought reviews
Fullmetal has been stricken from the physical records and all obvious traces of him removed in some shape or form. All that remains is a whisper here and there, a whisper /they/ try hard to dull. But some who know the truth survive, and there are others whose very nature it is to uncover the truth, even if it will rip apart their life.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 399 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 7 - Published: 3/5/2014 - Edward E., Roy M., Winry R., Rose
A Game We Play by Shadow of a Sparkling Angel reviews
ONESHOT. Sent on yet another wild goose chase by the Colonel Bastard, Ed goes for a walk alone in the empty streets of Bordston, trying to get rid of his pent-up frustration and wishing something would happen – when Envy drops in for a visit. It was a game they played; a dangerous game of dominance that neither was willing to give up. Who will win? Yaoi. Ed/Envy. Fits with FMA:B
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,436 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 5 - Published: 1/8/2014 - [Edward E., Envy] - Complete
Poisoned by forevrfallenfromglory reviews
Kuradeel never wanted Kirito dead; he only wanted to show who was the stronger of the two. It was Kirito's fault he was forced to kill an innocent, but at least he'll be able to make him pay... All warnings inside. For mature audiences only.
Sword Art Online/ソードアート・オンライン - Rated: M - English - Angst/Crime - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,406 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 23 - Published: 11/1/2013
Alliance Against the Milk by Fallen Crest reviews
Flame and Fullmetal. Negotiations, teenage rebellion, Elysia's tears, Juvie riot, Furher is stepping back to enjoy the war between the two alchemists. Edward Elric, the Fullmetal alchemist, leading a riot full of teenagers!
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,045 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 105 - Follows: 74 - Published: 9/1/2013 - Alphonse E., Edward E., Roy M., Ling Y.
It's Not What You Think! by xx-animeXalchemist-xx reviews
America and England are simply misunderstood. What they are doing is totally innocent! Or is it? Read for ridiculous situations! USxUK... or is it? And look out for Prussia and his mission! WARNING: May cause insanity.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 55 - Words: 169,261 - Reviews: 1514 - Favs: 839 - Follows: 703 - Updated: 7/26/2013 - Published: 10/16/2011 - America, England/Britain
The Remarkably Long Life of Pathos by rudefool reviews
Edward Elric happens upon a certain bastard on the side of the road. Caught between wanting payback and attempting to understand his father, Ed spends the next twenty four hours wanting acutely to punch Van Hohenheim in the face. However, something keeps stopping Ed from doing just that. Needless to say, the Fullmetal Alchemist is beyond annoyed. (Brotherhood/Manga)
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,975 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 52 - Follows: 18 - Published: 7/3/2013 - Edward E., Hohenheim
HalfBaked by Jyxxie reviews
After a baking prank, Roy has Ed work in his kitchen as punishment. No pairings.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 916 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 2 - Published: 9/11/2012 - Edward E., Roy M. - Complete
The Tiny Tempest by Jyxxie reviews
Ed's getting really sick of the short jokes. Being stuck small forever isn't helping his mood any, either. - Rating for language!
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,594 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 8/22/2012 - Published: 8/10/2012 - Edward E. - Complete
Pulling me Down by Jyxxie reviews
Ed slips into the water, but his automail causes him to keep sinking. Mustang is his last hope.. but he is sinking awfully fast.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: K - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 762 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 13 - Published: 8/9/2012 - Edward E. - Complete
Frozen Flame by Jyxxie reviews
On a frigid winter day, Roy sends Ed on a delivery. Ed, freezing to his core, is displeased, and exacts sweet revenge upon his return.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 490 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 3 - Published: 7/26/2012 - Edward E., Roy M. - Complete
Abstruseness by MEOW-I'm-A-Dog reviews
After an assassination attempt on Edward Elric's life, Roy Mustang suspects foul play in the military and gets far more than he or Ed bargained for after a threat to the military and their lives is unraveled. No Yaoi. Some Parental Roy/Ed.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Angst - Chapters: 5 - Words: 28,470 - Reviews: 85 - Favs: 123 - Follows: 160 - Updated: 3/12/2012 - Published: 10/26/2011 - Roy M., Edward E.
Intolerant by reminiscent-afterthought reviews
He had a very good reason for despising milk.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 960 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 7 - Published: 1/25/2011 - Edward E., Hohenheim - Complete
Lost and Found by jenelric reviews
Being such a small kid, it was no wonder Edward was a common target for kidnappings.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: K+ - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,938 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 225 - Follows: 23 - Published: 6/10/2008 - Edward E. - Complete
Twitchy by AkoyaMizuno reviews
One Shot. Kaitou Kid was late therefore he, Nakamori Ginzo, was twitchy. Now, Kid being late wasn't entirely unheard of, but there was late and then there was late and the illustrious phantom thief was decidedly the latter.
Magic Kaito/まじっく快斗 - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,216 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 108 - Follows: 11 - Published: 1/16/2007 - G. Nakamori, Kaito K. - Complete
Gently Comes the Rain by Hoshiki reviews
Shounen ai: RoyEd: Edward decides to play in the rain. Having noticed the Colonel watching for some time, Alphonse encourages Roy to explore a world very unlike his. [Fluff. Oneshot, complete.]
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,617 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 4 - Published: 10/18/2005 - Roy M., Edward E. - Complete
3 Years Changes a lot of Things reviews
What would happen if Astrid did not follow Hiccup through the forest, there by not meet Toothless? What would happen if instead of running away, both Toothless and Hiccup go to kill the Red Death? What would happen if no one ended the war between the Vikings and the Dragons? Read if you want the answer of those questions
How to Train Your Dragon - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Adventure - Chapters: 18 - Words: 36,827 - Reviews: 164 - Favs: 199 - Follows: 254 - Updated: 7/13/2014 - Published: 4/15/2013 - Astrid, Hiccup, Stoick, Toothless
Fareway (22)