heresyourstupidjohnlock
Poll: What story should I start working on this summer? Vote Now!
PM . Follow . Favorite
Joined 02-17-13, id: 4550630, Profile Updated: 07-29-16
Author has written 22 stories for Harry Potter, Sherlock, and Hannibal.
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Not A Junkie by EyeofMazikeen reviews
Sherlock know's he's a hopeless addict. But a consulting detective can still pretend, can't he? This is a Sheriarty / Jimlock fic. Also contains implied Johnlock. Warnings: M/M, Strong Language, light BDSM, mentions of drug use and other sundry things inside.
Sherlock - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,860 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 11 - Published: 4/16/2013 - Sherlock H., J. Moriarty - Complete
So Much For This Battle by Anonymous Plume reviews
Unbeknownst to John, he kind of just broke Sherlock.
Sherlock - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,062 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 255 - Follows: 20 - Published: 4/3/2012 - Sherlock H., John W. - Complete
Broken Toy by gwenweybourne reviews
Jim Moriarty likes to play with his toys before he breaks them. Sherlock/Moriarty and some Johnlock. SLASH. Rated M for Moriarty: general insanity, manipulation, violence. Post-Hound, pre-Reichenbach.
Sherlock - Rated: M - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 9 - Words: 23,536 - Reviews: 101 - Favs: 183 - Follows: 93 - Updated: 3/20/2012 - Published: 2/8/2012 - J. Moriarty, Sherlock H. - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Flamboyant, Affectionate, Absurd reviews
Sherlock and Greg go to a pub, hoping to catch an arsonist. They end up getting absolutely plastered instead. Really weird sex ensues. Explicit.
Sherlock - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,384 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 5 - Published: 1/15/2014 - Sherlock H., DI Lestrade - Complete
Blue Moments reviews
Sherlock loves to call Greg by the wrong name. They both know he does it to goad the older man into a wonderfully rough shag. He does it during cases. He does it at Baskerville. And he has the nerve to do it again after coming back from the dead. Explicit.
Sherlock - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,377 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 10 - Published: 1/5/2014 - Sherlock H., DI Lestrade - Complete
I Thought You Might Call reviews
Jim gives Sherlock his number when they first meet. He finds Sherlock's number on The Science of Deduction. Naughty phone calls are obviously the next logical step. Explicit.
Sherlock - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,781 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 20 - Published: 1/5/2014 - Sherlock H., J. Moriarty - Complete
We'll Fall Like Soiled Angels reviews
Jim is a drug and Sherlock's been addicted since his first taste. So when Jim decides to stage their deaths so that they can run off together, Sherlock goes along with it. Loosely based on the Sheriarty clip in the Empty Hearse. Explicit.
Sherlock - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,959 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 7 - Published: 1/5/2014 - Sherlock H., J. Moriarty - Complete
There's no 'I' in 'Threesome' reviews
Irene comes over to help John discipline his naughty little slut. Basically, a wild threesome featuring Shelock Holmes in a lacy thong. Explicit.
Sherlock - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,180 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 9 - Published: 12/7/2013 - Sherlock H., John W., Irene A. - Complete
I'd Arrest You if I Had Handcuffs reviews
A series of vignettes involving Lestrade, Sherlock, and a certain pair of handcuffs. Eventual arrest fetish smut and numerous kinks we don't need to discuss in polite company. Pre-cannon.
Sherlock - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 29 - Words: 65,386 - Reviews: 198 - Favs: 133 - Follows: 127 - Updated: 11/30/2013 - Published: 4/28/2013 - Sherlock H., DI Lestrade - Complete
Bruises On Your Knees reviews
Lestrade notices how John Watson lets Sherlock order him around. He notices, and thinks it's a crime that John's natural talents as a submissive are going to waste. He sets about correcting the situation in the natural way. Football, drinking, and loads of kinky gay sex. Explicit. Johnstrade.
Sherlock - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,467 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 56 - Follows: 8 - Published: 11/8/2013 - John W., DI Lestrade - Complete
Shiny Leather in the Dark reviews
Sherlock and Irene have always been drawn to each other. After saving her life, Sherlock pays Irene a visit. They find out what happens when they're allowed to fully collide. Femlock, with gratuitous use of riding crops. Explicit.
Sherlock - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,300 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 3 - Published: 11/3/2013 - Sherlock H., Irene A. - Complete
You Can't Possibly Have Any Reasonable Objections reviews
It was stupid to get involved with a student in the first place. It was downright idiotic to get attached to them. But somehow, Professor Watson let himself fall in love with Sherlock Holmes anyway. Teenlock/Unilock. Sequel to, "The Appropriate Time to Have Moral Objections."
Sherlock - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,395 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 64 - Follows: 6 - Published: 11/1/2013 - Sherlock H., John W. - Complete
Just You and Me (and Him Too) reviews
"John didn't seem to catch on to the fact that Sherlock enjoyed being yelled at. He just thought Sherlock was an inconsiderate sod that had no concept of why somebody would be angry about a farm of exotic fungi growing in the bathroom sink. Sherlock never bothered to correct that assumption, because it served his purposes." Johnlockstrade smut. Read the warnings.
Sherlock - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,974 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 54 - Published: 10/25/2013 - Sherlock H., John W., DI Lestrade
If You Understand the Nuance reviews
Mycroft Holmes spends his days telling other other people what to do. But in certain situations, he'd rather be the one taking the orders. Along comes John Watson. Who holds himself like a soldier and has a knack for barking commands. Pretty much this is just unabashed Johncroft smut. Read the warnings.
Sherlock - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,451 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 65 - Follows: 17 - Published: 10/18/2013 - John W., Mycroft H. - Complete
The Appropriate Time to Have Moral Objections reviews
Most of the time, Professor Watson knows better than to get involved with his students. That is, until Sherlock shows up. Teenlock/Unilock. Explicit.
Sherlock - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,665 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 73 - Follows: 22 - Published: 10/5/2013 - Sherlock H., John W. - Complete
The Taming of John Watson reviews
In the aftermath of the Great Game, Sherlock decides it's time to break in the lovely John Watson. Gratuitous smut, whips, chains, and slashy goodness will ensue. (Now complete except for epilogue).
Sherlock - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 25 - Words: 126,188 - Reviews: 556 - Favs: 607 - Follows: 520 - Updated: 8/7/2013 - Published: 2/20/2013 - Sherlock H., John W. - Complete
Prey Instincts reviews
The first time it happens, Will can't be sure he's not hallucinating. But it seems like Hannibal is offering to be his Dom. Or at least, he's offering to treat Will like a dog. Take control away. Help his mind go blank. Give him exactly what he wants. The story picks up some time in the middle of the season, after Will starts losing time. Read author's notes for warnings. Slash.
Hannibal - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 13,096 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 73 - Follows: 84 - Updated: 8/2/2013 - Published: 7/19/2013 - Will G., Hannibal L.
The Taming of John Watson: Deleted Scenes reviews
Pretty much what you'd expect. All sorts of parings and things I wanted, but didn't actually put in the story. Mostly shameless smut. Enjoy!
Sherlock - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,675 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 30 - Published: 7/18/2013 - Sherlock H., J. Moriarty
Quite the Excitable Young Lady reviews
Joan and Shirley have been best friends since primary school. Just friends. Because Joan likes boys. Shirley's never told Joan about her own preferences. One night, Joan and Shirley get drunk off a bottle of Mycroft's wine and they have a discussion about self-pleasure. Femslash follows in short order. Teen!lock and Genderswap, because this is my party and I'll AU if I want to.
Sherlock - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,908 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 9 - Published: 7/5/2013 - Sherlock H., John W. - Complete
But He's Your He's You! reviews
Really, at this point in the relationship, John should know better than to tell Sherlock he can't or shouldn't do anything. But when John says Sherlock can't clone himself, Sherlock sets out to prove him wrong... with extremely NC-17 rated results. This is pure crack. You have been warned. Written for Kink Meme.
Sherlock - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,019 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 34 - Published: 6/18/2013 - Sherlock H., John W.
Don't Forget the Cream Filling! reviews
John is just minding his own business, searching for naughty videos on the internet. Then he sees a pop-up ad for a police-uniform fetish website. One of the (very naked) actors looks an awful lot like his flat mate Sherlock Holmes. He watches the video. You can imagine how that goes. Written for Kink Meme.
Sherlock - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,607 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 95 - Follows: 58 - Published: 6/14/2013 - Sherlock H., John W. - Complete
Happiness is a Warm Gun (in Your Mouth) reviews
Sherlock likes it when John acts like a soldier. He likes it even more when John brings the gun to bed with them. Explicit. Written for kink meme.
Sherlock - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,627 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 106 - Follows: 17 - Published: 6/9/2013 - John W., Sherlock H. - Complete
Almost Like a Virgin reviews
Sherlock is a man with very particular sexual habits, and John quickly finds the futility in really questioning them. Lots of drunk sex, some sober sex, and a glorious helping of angst. Sequel to, "A Study in Shagging."
Sherlock - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 3 - Words: 14,933 - Reviews: 59 - Favs: 189 - Follows: 128 - Updated: 5/25/2013 - Published: 4/27/2013 - John W., Sherlock H. - Complete
A Study in Shagging reviews
Sherlock Holmes and John Watson walk into a pub... it sounds like the start of a bad joke, but actually it's the start of Sherlock drunkenly deducing John's sexual history. Shameless smut follows shortly thereafter. The Sequel, "Almost Like a Virgin," is now posted.
Sherlock - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,434 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 175 - Follows: 45 - Updated: 4/27/2013 - Published: 4/6/2013 - Sherlock H., John W. - Complete
Felicis reviews
Draco is slipping. His image is crumbling. He's becoming reckless and desperate to fulfill his duty to the Dark Lord. Harry unwittingly stumbles upon Draco's secrets, and turns both of their worlds upside down with a night on liquid luck. Warnings: violence, swearing, suicidal tendencies, and man sex.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 4 - Words: 12,198 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 45 - Updated: 2/28/2013 - Published: 2/18/2013 - Harry P., Draco M.