The Divine Comedian
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Joined 02-25-01, id: 45537, Profile Updated: 12-14-16
Author has written 39 stories for Harry Potter, Pirates of the Caribbean, Discworld, Fingersmith, Pippi Longstocking, and Star Wars Rebels.

About me: I just realised I've been on this site for almost 16 years (and it's weirding me out). So, hello, new profile text. Teenage me chose The Divine Comedian for an author handle. Could be worse! Teenage me also used to write very dramatic Harry Potter fanfic, which I keep for reasons of sentimentality and completeness. Grown-up me has since expanded a bit with regards to fandoms and themes (though a fondness for tragedy has remained).

Fandoms: Monstrous Regiment has been my main playground for a long time (such a lovely set of characters, such a somber setting). Star Wars Rebels is currently sending a lot of plotbunnies my way (all those dramatic backstories! How can a girl resist?). Harry Potter occasionally resurfaces. The muse swings by on average twice a year. I try to fit her in between the stuff of real life, but, you know.

A note: I love the characters I'm borrowing. However, terrible things tend to happen to them in my fics. Assume that no-one is safe.

Links: There's a continuation of There'll Be Children by Amazon Syren over on Livejournal, called Butterflies Are Free: Part I, Part II, Epilogue

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

What Polly Did Next by Hugger-Of-Trees reviews
If Monstrous Regiment could be filed under “What Polly Did” this would fall under the remit of “What Polly Did Next” telling as it does the joys, trials and tribulations of our eponymous heroine, picking up in the year following the final paragraph of MR.
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 3 - Words: 50,000 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 12/5/2010 - Published: 8/1/2009 - Polly P.
Twist and Shout by Ipecacuanha reviews
Back to the roots...oder: Eine Geschichte über die Jugendzeit von Lily Evans, James Potter und Severus Snape...oder wahlweise auch: Was passiert, wenn man Kleinkindern eine Pistole in die Hand drückt? Tja, ratet mal...Reviews unbedingt erwünscht!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - German - Mystery - Chapters: 7 - Words: 26,914 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 3 - Updated: 8/31/2003 - Published: 1/2/2002 - Lily Evans P.
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

The Physics of Glitter reviews
Sabine has been with the Spectres for a month. Still devastated from her best friend's betrayal, she's struggling to find her place in the crew. But in the aftermath of a botched operation, it turns out she has more in common with Kanan than either of them thought. Space family angst with some resolve.
Star Wars Rebels - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Angst - Chapters: 4 - Words: 14,823 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 4/22 - Published: 4/14 - Kanan J., Sabine W., Hera S. - Complete
Debris reviews
On Yavin IV, underneath the cloud of debris that was once the Death Star, some stories end while others begin. Hera Syndulla discovers a glimpse of something terrible in a recording from the recent battle, but she needs more data. The Princess of Alderaan and her new-found friends are an unexpected help.
Star Wars Rebels - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,876 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 3 - Published: 3/31 - Hera S. - Complete
The Breach reviews
Hermione kept calling it the zombie apocalypse. Harry, whose introduction to muggle horror films had started and ended with fighting Dudley over the TV remote, wasn't sure if they should be called zombies, but thought "apocalypse" was an apt description. 6th year AU, in which Lord Voldemort actually got around to raising his army of Inferi.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Horror/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,081 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/10 - Harry P., Ron W., Hermione G., Albus D. - Complete
Two Things reviews
Harry is only four years old and the Dursleys are already mean.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,441 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/4 - Harry P., Petunia D., Dudley D., Vernon D. - Complete
A Bright and Peaceful Night reviews
Monstrous Regiment. Stranded away from home during Hogswatch, Polly Perks has all but resigned herself to being miserable when she runs into an old friend. The chatty, caffeinated, déshabillé sort of old friend. They talk. Complicated fluff with tragedy in the background. And gingerbread. And fireworks. Happy holidays!
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 3 - Words: 11,576 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 12/25/2016 - Published: 12/23/2016 - Polly P. - Complete
Pippi Goes To War
"Pippi, you can't go around fighting people," Annika says, "you aren't ten anymore." - Pippi tilts her head and smiles. "But I can play pretend." A tale of archaeology, magic, and growing up. Pippi, Annika, very tame femslash.
Pippi Longstocking - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,386 - Published: 12/11/2016 - Pippi L., Annika S. - Complete
Borogravian Dog Days reviews
Monstrous Regiment. Polly, Mal, zombie apocalypse. Creepiest thing I've ever written.
Discworld - Rated: M - English - Horror/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,838 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 12/7/2016 - Polly P. - Complete
Transition reviews
Usually the kids stick together. For one of them to tell on the other, it has to be something really trivial - or really, really terrible. Kanan and Sabine talk. Takes place during S03E1 Steps Into Shadow, spoilers up until then.
Star Wars Rebels - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,287 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 9 - Published: 11/26/2016 - Kanan J., Sabine W., C1-10PR - Complete
We Would All Be Happier reviews
Petunia has found the perfect not-weird marriage. And she does not want to raise the child she found on her doorstep. So Petunia, self-described anti-adventurer, takes little Harry on a long and bothersome drive in order to find Albus Dumbledore. But what good is a Volvo against the course of fate?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/Family - Chapters: 2 - Words: 13,424 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 4/28/2013 - Published: 4/27/2013 - Petunia D., Harry P., Albus D. - Complete
As simple as this reviews
Monstrous Regiment. Polly and Mal have a bit of a break while on the run. Polly gets paranoid. Mal just gets intense. They still manage to have a fairly lengthy conversation on regret. Hurt without comfort, see warnings inside.
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,401 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/18/2012 - Polly P. - Complete
Necessity is the mother of instant coffee reviews
Monstrous Regiment. It rains a lot and Polly and Mal are having a bit of a coffee situation. They are being grudgingly cute about it. Polly/ Mal.
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,792 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/2/2011 - Polly P. - Complete
Snowmelt reviews
Monstrous Regiment. Tl;dr Mal tries to pick Polly up for dinner, gets propositioned instead. Fluffy Polly/ Mal with Polly's mind firmly in the gutter.
Discworld - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,053 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/30/2011 - Polly P.
Going Home reviews
Monstrous Regiment. It's a long way down to Munz, and Mal carries heavy things. Polly/Mal, Betty/Paul.
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,736 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/17/2011 - Polly P. - Complete
Zehn neue Freizeitideen reviews
...Für Sie und Ihre willenlose menschliche Marionette. London im Frühjahr 1980. Emmeline und Lily wollten eigentlich nur schnell einen Kaffee trinken. Später passieren ganz schreckliche Dinge. Angst, eine nerdige Arithmantikerin, ein bisschen Femslash.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - German - Angst/Friendship - Chapters: 4 - Words: 10,322 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 1/30/2011 - Published: 12/28/2010 - Emmeline V., Lily Evans P. - Complete
Is It Spring Yet? reviews
Some PollyxMal fluff for the holidays. Polly and Mal share a few short hours away from the army life and for some reason discuss fire safety. Based on Hugger-Of-Trees' ficverse, with permission.
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,305 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Published: 12/27/2010 - Polly P. - Complete
Schrödinger's Vampire reviews
Monstrous Regiment. The army mislays a certain vampire corporal. The results aren't pretty, and no-one's so sure what exactly happened, or how to deal with it. A story about trauma and its aftermath. Maladict, Polly, Clogston.
Discworld - Rated: M - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 12 - Words: 48,756 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 1/20/2010 - Published: 1/5/2010 - Polly P. - Complete
Later, Who Knows reviews
Monstrous Regiment. Polly can't sleep, Mal is scandalous, together they discuss politics. PollyxMal, MalxOCs.
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,485 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/22/2009 - Polly P. - Complete
Bones Skin Hair Flesh Blood reviews
Monstrous Regiment. Mal repents, with varying degrees of success. The past is revisited and, in some cases, resurrected. Battles are fought. All in order to find home in the end. PollyxMal, MalxOC.
Discworld - Rated: M - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,679 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/10/2009
A Second Pair Of Boots reviews
Monstrous Regiment. Watch our neurotic twosome as they do their darndest to honour a wedding invitation. Trees are climbed in the process. PollyxMal, ShuftixPaul.
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,416 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 2 - Published: 5/2/2009 - Polly P. - Complete
Let Them Drop Dead reviews
Monstrous Regiment. Of all the battles, one has got to be the last. Mal, Polly, OCs.
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,312 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Published: 3/27/2009 - Complete
Pippi erklärt den Krieg reviews
Pippi Langstrumpf. Pippi, Annika, zaghafter Femslash. Alle Beteiligten sind erwachsen und vernünftig, Schweden ist neutral, der Mond ist ein Käse, und weitere Unklarheiten.
Pippi Longstocking - Rated: T - German - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,131 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/12/2007 - Pippi L., Annika S. - Complete
Staub reviews
Weiberregiment. Nach dem Krieg soll Betty ihren Freiheitsbegriff der Realität anpassen. Die freundliche Dystopie von nebenan, mit den Gaststars Father Jupe und Polly und evtl. Maladict.
Discworld - Rated: K+ - German - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,016 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 7/31/2007 - Polly P. - Complete
Dust reviews
Monstrous Regiment. After the war, Betty examines her freedom. Your friendly neighbourhood dystopia, also starring Father Jupe and Polly.
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 955 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/20/2007 - Polly P. - Complete
There'll Be Children reviews
Monstrous Regiment. Polly, Mal, and the absence of a proper birthday party. Angst angst angst and a few bad jokes. PollyxMal.
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Angst/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,048 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 2/4/2007 - Published: 8/4/2006 - Polly P. - Complete
Purged reviews
Maud is eloquent. Sue is silent. 200 words.
Fingersmith - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 235 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/8/2006 - Complete
To Pieces reviews
Monstrous Regiment, Thief of Time . One can learn how to deal with the unbearable. Ahahaha. MalxSusan, MalxPolly.
Discworld - Rated: M - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,468 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/1/2006 - Complete
Plogviehze, Baby reviews
Monstrous Regiment. Mal manages to do the one thing that would normally make Polly get out the stake and hammer. Shame she's stuck with the vampire on what would be a road movie, if it was a movie, and if there was an actual road.
Discworld - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Suspense - Chapters: 15 - Words: 85,864 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 10/12/2006 - Published: 8/19/2006 - Polly P. - Complete
Dehydriert reviews
Weiberregiment. Mal hegt und pflegt Mordgedanken, Polly sucht den springenden Punkt, und Strappi ist in seinem hilflosen Groll bedauernswert und doch unsympathisch. Oneshot.
Discworld - Rated: T - German - Angst/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,455 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 10/4/2006 - Polly P. - Complete
Für Morgen reviews
Weiberregiment. Polly hat Geburtstag. Die Umstände sind suboptimal. DEATH DOOM DESPAIR und eine Handvoll schlechter Witze. PollyxMal
Discworld - Rated: T - German - Angst/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,869 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 8/14/2006 - Polly P. - Complete
Because They Were So Keen reviews
Monstrous Regiment. Cheers to you, Private Bloodsucker. Oneshot. Strappi, Mal, Polly.
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Angst/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,287 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/29/2006 - Polly P. - Complete
Now, Then reviews
[Monstrous Regiment]. Mal is haunted. Polly throws things. Angst angst angst. MalxPolly, MalxOCs.
Discworld - Rated: M - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,307 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/25/2006 - Complete
Schachmatt reviews
Sparrow erwacht in einem fremden Bett. Er hätte gern seine Kleidung zurück, dankeschön. Und seine Würde, was das betrifft. Novelle über das Überleben.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: T - German - Suspense - Chapters: 5 - Words: 12,736 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 4 - Updated: 4/14/2006 - Published: 4/15/2004 - Complete
Coffee To Go reviews
Lily verlebt sehr betuliche Ferien. Dann bekommt sie Besuch, und zu ihrer großen Zerknirschung ändert sich an der Betulichkeit nicht viel. Außer manches.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - German - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 11,857 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 6/7/2005 - Published: 6/1/2005 - Lily Evans P. - Complete
Yoko Ono reviews
Sommer. Lily fühlt sich umzingelt von hellblau gestrichenen Kinderzimmern, quietschgelben Gummienten und Einweckgläsern mit Bügelverschluss und sie würde sterben für eine Zigarette, nur eigentlich nicht wirklich. Give peace a chance.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - German - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,699 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 4 - Published: 7/25/2004 - Lily Evans P. - Complete
A Nice English Custom reviews
Features: Jack, Anamaria, a dog, and a somewhat unlucky soldier of the Royal Navy. Oneshot. Desperately tries to be slash and fails.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,540 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 3 - Published: 5/1/2004 - Complete
Immer an den Plan halten reviews
Heute mal kein Tiefseetauchen in der menschlichen Psyche, nein: diese Geschichte ist im Wesentlichen nett. Jack sitzt in der Zelle und da will er gerne wieder raus. Und Moral war ohnehin noch nie so seins.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: T - German - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,716 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 2 - Updated: 2/28/2004 - Published: 2/24/2004 - Complete
Liliacea reviews
Lily and the others are searching for mind expansion, a certain founder isn't as dead as she ought to be, and just about everyone has to suffer at some point... R for violence, suicide, self abuse. Contains femslash.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Suspense/Angst - Chapters: 12 - Words: 72,091 - Reviews: 59 - Favs: 6 - Updated: 9/19/2003 - Published: 2/26/2001 - Lily Evans P. - Complete
Liliacea, German version reviews
Die Siebziger: die Zahl der Menschen mit den schwarzen Kutten und der zweifelhaften Ideologie steigt, Voldemort ist auf dem Weg zur Macht. Na, dann werdet mal erwachsen.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - German - Suspense/Angst - Chapters: 13 - Words: 80,281 - Reviews: 76 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 2/22/2003 - Published: 9/7/2001 - Lily Evans P. - Complete
Was niemand wirklich wissen wollte reviews
Ähm. Eine neue Schülerin kommt nach Hogwarts und versucht gar nicht erst, ihr MarySueSein zu verbergen, Snape küsst die neue DADALehrerin und auch Draco hat eine mysteriöse Wandlung durchgemacht...
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - German - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,877 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 3 - Published: 2/18/2002 - Complete