Poll: If I were to write 2 more "Idiot's Guides" for Star Wars or for Merlin, which characters should I base it upon? Select only 2 characters, please, regardless of fandom. If you have any other ideas, please PM me! :D Vote Now!
Author has written 13 stories for Star Wars, Chronicles of Narnia, Merlin, X-Men: The Movie, Harry Potter, Ella Enchanted, and Musketeers.
Hello, HBJW here. Sometimes I'm having such fun reading stories and scribbling down ideas (half of which don't even make it to story form) that I forget to update my profile. Great stuff; it's so addicting... (goes back to writing stories for another hour)... Oh oops, you're still here? Sorry, right, you wanted to know about me, correct? Ok, so I love to write (obviously), have been writing stories and poetry since 7th grade. I wanted to publish some of my works, found this website in 2012 while browsing for awesome stories. So I figured, what the heck, it's a fun way to learn publishing and a great way to earn constructive criticism. And I can write about what I love, and get feedback! As you can tell from my posted stories, I'm mainly on a Star Wars craze right now :)
-I love anything (books, movies, TV series, fanfiction) that has to do with Star Wars, Merlin (BBC 2008), Legion (FX X-Men), Downton Abbey, Lord of the Rings, The Following, Chronicles of Narnia, Terra Nova, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, The Heroes of Olympus, The Blacklist, Shadowhunters, OUAT, X-Men, The Lion King, Disney in general, Robin Hood, Pride & Prejudice, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., Ella Enchanted, Pirates of the Caribbean, and Harry Potter.
-So you will most likely be receiving stories from me about the above.
-I am a RAVENCLAW and a THUNDERBIRD (my runner-up was Slytherin), according to Pottermore. Where are my fellow eagles??? Shout out!
-My patronus is a Fire-dwelling Salamander.
-My wand is 12 3/4" beech wood, with a Phoenix feather core and brittle flexibility. Not that kind of wand, get your minds out of the gutter! ;)
-I am a Gray Jedi from Pantora.
-I enjoy doing a lot of 'the arts': writing, poetry, drawing, theater, choir, playing instruments (piano, drums, and guitar).
-I LOVE to run!
-I also like and have done the following sports at different times: running/track, soccer, dodgeball, flag football, badminton, cricket, ultimate frisbee, volleyball, archery.
-If you can put up with my craziness, please review. I promise that I will try not to write and post any stories when I drink coffee. Or soda.
-Coffee makes me HYPER. Anything with caffeine does, for that matter. Heavens, imagine if I actually drank alcohol often...
-Games: my favs are Apples to Apples, Scattergories, Mennonite Madness, video games, Twister, Pie Face, air hockey, pool, table tennis, Where's That Wabbit?, Scrabble, 4-Pics-in-a-Word, airsoft/bb gun wars, water gun/water balloon wars, mud pie wars.
-Villains are awesome (in stories)! I love the villains in some movies and TV series because it takes a lot of talent for someone to play evilness, to bring up their 'bad side'. The best kind of villains aren't the ones who are dark and evil- the creepiest ones look normal, but talk insane. They are unpredictable. They speak softly and smile charmingly while threatening to skin you alive with their eyes, or while digging your best friend's grave behind your back (Richard III or The Following TV series, anyone?). But dark and evil personality, even though it's predictable, works too.
-I have been asked this odd question spanning fandoms. Which sword would I prefer: Anduril (LOTR), Peter's Lion-Head Sword (Narnia), Lightsaber (Star Wars), Excalibur (Merlin), Godric Gryffindor's Sword (Harry Potter), or Riptide (Percy Jackson)? Hmm...
-As you look at my profile picture, you can probably tell that I would love to be a Half Blood-Jedi-Warlock, and that way I would have almost every single power imaginable. Just imagine Percy Jackson, Anakin Skywalker, and Merlin all rolled into one. Ohhhh, yes. The world and the power would finally be mine...
-Or I could be Revan or Emperor Vitiate or Emperor Palpatine, and just blow away their minds with my awesomely insanely amazing Force powers!
"Helpless in my throes,
Biting my truant pen, beating myself for spite,
'Fool!' said my Muse to me, 'look in thy heart and write.'"
Sir Philip Sidney, in his Sonnet 1 from Astrophil and Stella
Separate your passions from your hobbies. Me
"The problem is not the problem.
The problem is your attitude
about the problem. Savvy?"
Captain Jack Sparrow, POTC
Books are like friends. They make or break a person's character. Me
"From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring,
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king."
Elvish Prophecy about Aragorn, LOTR
“May the Force be with you… always.” Star Wars
Tantor the Elephant: “I’ve never seen them so happy.”
Terk the Gorilla: “Ah, I give it a week.”
Gimli: “Never thought I’d die standing side-by-side with an Elf.”
Legolas: “How ‘bout side-by-side with a friend?”
Tantor the Elephant: “I’ve never felt so alive!!!”
Terk the Gorilla: “Good, ‘cause I’m gonna kill ya!!!”
Will Turner: “You cheated!”
Jack Sparrow: “Pirate.”
“Youth cannot tolerate monotony.” Beautiful Girlhood
“And thus I clothe my naked villainy
With old odd ends stolen out of holy writ;
And seem a saint,
When most I play the devil.”
Richard III, by William Shakespeare
Jack Sparrow: "Stop blowing holes in my ship!"
“Character is not given to us;
we build it ourselves.” Beautiful Girlhood
Rachel Lynde: “What is your name, child?”
Anne: “Would you please, oh please, call me Cordelia?”
Marilla: “Nonsense! Your name is Anne Shirley!”
Anne of Green Gables
Jack Sparrow: “This girl… how far are you willing to go to save her?”
Will Turner: “I’d die for her!”
Jack Sparrow: “Oh good. No worries then.”
Jack Sparrow: “Do us a favor…
I know it’s difficult for you…
but please, stay here,
and try not to do anything… stupid.” POTC
In honor of Alan Rickman, may he RIP:
"Lily? After all this time?"
~Severus Snape, Harry Potter
“The comfort zone is the great enemy to creativity;
moving beyond it necessitates intuition,
which in turn configures new perspectives
and conquers fears.”
~Dan Stevens, actor
Why don’t I wanna be an actress or a model?
Oh please, give me a break.
I like my anonymous life. Me.
“There’s no business like show business!”
~from Annie, Get Your Gun
“If I couldn't sleep, I could read.”
~Ella from Ella Enchanted book
Merlin: “Oh! Did you see that!”
Arthur: (unimpressed) “It's a man throwing sticks in the air.”
Merlin: “What's wrong? It's your birthday! A huge feast is being held in your honor. You've got dancers, jugglers and acrobats to entertain you!” *pause* “It must be a terrible burden…”
Arthur: “Perhaps I'm less easily impressed than you.”
Merlin: “I'm really looking forward to it.”
Arthur: “Because you have the mind of a child.”
Merlin: (to himself) “And yet I'm still more intelligent than you.”
Arthur: “I heard that!”
“It’s like an agreeable-off. They’re so… pleasant!
I want to put my eyes out with a spork.”
~Lizzie Bennet, about her sister Jane’s and Bing Lee’s relationship
Sherlock: “Punch me in the face.”
John: “Punch you?”
Sherlock: “Yes, punch me in the face. Didn't you hear me?”
John: “I always hear ‘punch me in the face’
when you’re speaking - but it’s usually sub-text.”
“Driver picks the music,
shotgun shuts his cakehole.”
~Dean to Sam
“Excuse me, I have to go and vomit.”
~Hermione Granger, HBP
“Brainy's the new sexy.”
“It matters not what someone is born to be,
but what they grow to be.”
Sheriff of Nottingham: “LOCKSLEY!!! I’m going to cut your heart out WITH A SPOON!”
Robin Hood/Locksley: “Then it begins!”
*3 hours later*
Guy of Gisbourne: “Why a spoon, cousin?”
Sheriff: “Because it’s DULL, you twit, it’ll HURT more!”
~R.I.P., Alan Rickman
“I dislike smiling. It contorts the face.’”
~Lizzie Bennet, making fun of Fitzwilliam Darcy
Castiel: “HEY, ASS-BUTT!”
Dean: “Really?!? Assbutt?”
“Oh, I may be on the side of the angels.
But don't think for one second that I am one of them.”
~Sherlock threatens Moriarty
“Some are born great,
some achieve greatness,
and some have greatness thrust upon them.”
“I was the one who had it all;
I was the master of my fate.
I never needed anybody in my life;
I learned the truth too late.”
~The Beast, from BATB
“We can’t giggle, it’s a crime scene.”
~John Watson to Sherlock
“Be my brother again, ‘cause… Just ‘cause.”
~Sam Winchester to Dean
-My stories that I'm working on will be updated frequently when I can help it, and I will post the updates here on my profile. That way I can prolong your agony of waiting for the next chapter, mwhahahaha!
-Don't worry though, I won't be that cruel to you... mostly.
COMPLETED STORIES (in order):
Han Solo, Space Pirate: The Complete Idiot's Guide #1
Leia Organa, Senator: The Complete Idiot's Guide #2
Palpatine, Sith Lord: The Complete Idiot's Guide #3
Star Wars, A New Hope: The Abridged Parody
Legend of the Lonely Moon (X-Men)
Legend of The Hidden One (X-Men)
Three Little Wizards (Harry Potter)
The Prophecies of Albion (Merlin)
Across the Stars: Alphabet Acrostic (Star Wars)
9/19/2017: Hey there readers! I'm baaaaaack after a really long hiatus. I ran into a year of writer's block and so was just reviewing stories and exchanging ideas with a couple other authors. Thanks for putting up with me when I write like a snail :D But I have a story for you!
-Legend of the Lonely Moon is UP with a one-shot sequel called Legend of the Hidden One. Based upon sister relationship between Emma Frost and Kayla Silverfox.
-Monarchy of Mayhem, will start updating this month. I am almost done typing the whole movie script out on Word, after that the new chapters will come. I may take some scenes from the book that weren't in the movie, and put them in my story.
-And lastly, I want to shout out to my faithful readers/reviewers/followers so far. I don't deserve you, especially because I don't update consistently. I'm really glad to see your thoughts on my work- constructive criticism is welcome, but no flames please. I want to respond back to each of you, when I have time. So be looking for a message from me in your inbox!
Talk to you guys soon!