TheMidnightReader
hide bio
PM . Follow . Favorite
Joined 03-03-13, id: 4578548, Profile Updated: 08-19-14

Children Are Quick

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America .
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using the tables.

TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

(I Love this child)

TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.

TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!

TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it.
Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand...

TEACHER: Now, Simon , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.

TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's.. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher

PASS IT AROUND AND MAKE SOMEONE LAUGH!

LAUGHTER IS THE SOUL'S Medicine


10 BEST THINGS ABOUT BEING A GIRL

10. We can wear guy clothes, but if they wear ours they get funny looks

9. At least one girl always survives in horror movies

8. We can put cotton between our toes and paint our nails without feeling the least bit silly

7. Our magazines have horiscopes

6. Girls with guy first names like Taylor sound cool, but it doesn't work the other way around

5. Our friends don't say "hi" but punching us in the arm

4. Yes PMS sucks, but at least we have an excuse to lay around eating chocolate once a month

3. Make-up covers any imperfections we may have

2. If we flirt with a cop, we can get out of a speeding ticket

1. Girl Talk... you know, the way we all just understand each other without having to explain a thing

Which R U?


FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa. BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!


FAKE FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.
REAL FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"


FAKE FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.
REAL FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."


FAKE FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.
REAL FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"


FAKE FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.
REAL FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.


FAKE FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.
REAL FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"


FAKE FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.
REAL FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
REAL FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month. BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.


FAKE FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.
REAL FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"


FAKE FRIENDS: Will help you move.
REAL FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FAKE FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
REAL FRIENDS: Will sit next to you saying “Damn, that was some fun shit!”

FAKE FRIENDS: Never seen you cry.
REAL FRIENDS: Kick the ass of whatever made you cry.

FAKE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
REAL FRIENDS: Keep your junk so long they forget its yours.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number. BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FAKE FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Can write a book about you, with direct quotes from you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
REAL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will knock on your front door.
REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say “I’M HOME!”

FAKE FRIENDS: Are for awhile.
REAL FRIENDS: Are for life.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you’ve had enough.
REAL FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say “Come on, drink the rest of that, you know we don’t waste.”

FAKE FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Will kick their ass to hell and out!

FAKE FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world.
REAL FRIENDS: Not only kick everything out of their schedule to listen to whats wrong, but help come up with the most vindictive plans to make you feel a whole lot better!

FAKE FRIENDS: Say no when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours.
REAL FRIENDS: Talk on the phone or come right over and hang out with you, until you either fall asleep, or kick them out.

FAKE FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
REAL FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will ignore this

REAL FRIENDS: Will repost it


I OWE MY MOTHER

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going
to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of
the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up,
I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC. " Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and
break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear,
in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something
to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth
and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt
on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA"You'll sit there until all that
spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if
a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told
you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this
world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like
your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY." There are millions of less
fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16 My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get
home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when
you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing
your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I
know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your
toes, don't come running to me. "

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your
vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do
you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll
understand."

And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll
have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you".

Into The Darkness by TheLadyRunningDownToTheRiptide reviews
Sequel to, "The Shadows On the Hill." Nine years after Nick left, Clementine is different. What will she do when Wellington gets raided by bandits and she is left by herself, badly wounded and nearly dead? She's found by another group of people, and as she spends time with them she changes. Not in the good way either, but when a familiar face shows up, can they help her?
Walking Dead - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Adventure - Chapters: 13 - Words: 25,620 - Reviews: 145 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 37 - Updated: 2/19/2017 - Published: 3/4/2015 - Clementine, OC
Manager of:
Community: You Melt My Heart
Focus: General: All Categories