Author has written 3 stories for Naruto, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, and Shingeki no Kyojin/進撃の巨人.
My name: is Tenshin, you don't need to know my real name because I like to stay anonymous, its makes me interesting that way.
Race: Hispanic or Latino. What the hell is the differences? (Here's the joke, I look white and I'm not kidding)
Sex: Boy do I wish! sorry I'm male
Age: I am in high school that's all folks
Height: 5’8 1/2"/ 174.1 cm
Date of birth: March 1st (Age: Immortal/ Pisces)
Hobbies: Playing Video Games (PS3/ PS4 all day), Writing/Reading FanFiction, Drawing (Fanart & Bullshit), Sleeping.
Favorite manga(current): Naruto, Tokyo Ghoul/ Re, Magi - Labyrinth of Magic, Shokugeki no Soma, Tower of God, One piece, and many more manga's, the first manga's I mention are my addiction :P
Favorite games: Devil May Cry series, Uncharted series, Infamous series, Batman Arkham series, Assassins creed series, God of War series, Kingdom hearts series, Naruto ultimate ninja storm series.
Favorite bands/ Artist : Led Zeppelin, The Red Hot Chili Peppers, Nirvana, The Black Keys, Macklemore & Ryan Lewis (these guys deserve respect), I Fight Dragons, Weezer, White Lies, Kings of Leons, The Killers, My Chemical Romance, AC/DC, Bruno Mars, and Hoodie Allen
Fan art & Concept art
This is Fanart for Kenichi618:
Naruto Son of Hades concept:
Fan art to my good friend Engineer4Ever from the story The Tides Change Once More:
Stories at work
Naruto Uzumaki: Rise of a Ninja: Chapter 3 (Working on it)
Shingeki no Kitsune: Chapter 1 (Rewrite)
UPCOMING Story's on FanFiction by Me
Highschool DxD: Fishcake!
Naruto: Land of the Rukh
Top ten Naruto characters: The show is over and now we have free reign to make a list. Though the top ten is also inspired by a guy in youtube name Sawyer7mage
1. Naruto: When the show started this kid was nothing more than a prankster that wanted attention even if he had to become an idiot. As the main character Naruto has progressed quite a lot through out the story. Naruto deep down never cared about becoming Hokage because he never worked hard for it, for he only cared about the recognition that it would give him and that's how he was through out part 1. He was a child and a selfish kid that didn't want to lose his friends nor his identity as a person and then part 2 happen and that was the maturity of his character. Naruto made a promise that he would bring his friend back for a girl, his first try he did not succeed his second attempt did not work for Sasuke was too strong making Naruto train harder. Through his hard work he defeated Kakuzu blooming the blondes strength. In the beginning Naruto'S only reason he accepted Jiraiya's ideal for peace was to make him proud of him similar to the approval of a parent and Nagato came and fought him opening his view to larger world. Naruto hated Nagato for killing Jiraiya to the point he honestly admitted that he wanted to tear him apart, but Naruto for once tried to sympathize with the enemy (In the real world that would make us uncomfortable to do) The blonde change Nagato and as an act of redemption he brought everyone back. Naruto's very existence changed people or had impact upon lives, he was selfish kid who became something much more in the end. The message of Naruto's character is bringing hope.
2. Itachi: In the words of Sawyer7mage, he is one of the most complex characters in the series because he exist in a tug of war between whats morally wrong and whats morally right so his character is always in constant conflict and yet he expresses and handles himself so calmly that you would think that every time he shows up it like 'Itachi came back from vacation'. Not only is he a genius in combat wise and he's also super intelligent. Itachi is also one of the most philosophical characters his greatest quote "People live behind their own illusion wandering who's is right and who is wrong" he is the Ninja Plato and Hashirama even backs him up as the greatest ninja, his dad despite being on opposite sides was proud of him, and Kishimoto brings him back saying one the most awesome lines "I made a mistake, I was just as human as everyone else". This man knows their is no such thing as a great character in the show for they all have flaws.
3. Sasuke: I had never thought in years that I would say this but Sasuke is one of the well developed characters in the show for he is the best example of a fallen tragic hero. His tragedy that molded his life was not his fault for the person that Sasuke became, because Sasuke did not had the proper mentality and maturity to deal with his trauma for he was only eight years old and you what you do when you try to cope with a trauma is either drugs, alcohol, prostitution, Sasuke was his quest for revenge which lead his roller coaster of life of the rails but deep down Sasuke had that spark of hope that ended up turning his life into something good. Sasuke is a very human character with his flaws.
4. Kakashi: The teacher, Kakashi is a complex character, with an iconic visual design and a laid back attitude that just exudes cool. He's the kind of teacher everyone wishes they had; smart, relatable, chill, and utterly devoted to his students. But he's not just a teacher. Kakashi past pretty much involves heavily on Naruto's defining character as a person. Kakashi past was a walk of hardships of seeing his father die, failing as a leader and strayed Obito's path to hokage, breaking his promise in protecting Rin, not being there where his master Minato needed him, Kakashi has his strong tales of hardships but in the end this man moved on strongly as person and as Hokage of the leaf village.
5. Kushina: Unleash the mamma bear, ever since going halfway through Naruto I always wanted to know about Naruto's mother and when Kishimoto introduced her he handled her so well to even in the end of the story (Even though she isn't there anymore) you couldn't have asked for a better role model of being the main protagonist mother. She had her moment and her story ended it made it the more beautiful as well as her past struggles as foreigner and isolation as the same treatment Naruto, Kushina prevailed as a loving person caring about her son even beyond death.
6. Jiraiya: Like Sawyer said this guy is the Gandalf of the Naruto series. Minato said that Jiraiya is a ninja that everyone should aspire to be and he is right for Jiraiya is not only well versed in combat and ninjutsu but he's also an incredibly wise person and ideological as well as a pervert which makes him a very funny and likable character. Jiraiya saw and endured hardships that defined his character and tried to find the answer to peace which makes his death all the sadder for he did not die as a failure but never saw his dreams come true and despite that he has two major successes in life his books that he wrote in his life and his student Naruto who carried out his dream.
7. Gaara: He is one of the most sympathetic characters in the story, Gaara parallels Naruto's childhood in many ways but Gaara differs as his journey made him a sociopath and lived to fight for himself killing everyone in cold blood but over the time, and with Naruto's help, he became a great friend and the leader of his village. The greatest thing about him is also that he represents what love truly stands for acceptance, abandonment, and forgiveness are woven into the story with care and Gaara gets some of the most genuinely emotional scenes in the series.
8. Obito: Your wondering what the hell am I smoking for choosing this guy but I have my reason. Obito as a young man started out similar to Naruto in a sense but was cursed by his clan's major flaw that they sometimes dedicate themselves into one thing. Obito is the perfect example of a character who hides behind a mask that hides his true feelings, he was tragic character who took on the acting role of Madara Uchiha as well as the idiot Tobi, for he could not accept the reality of Obito Uchiha. His entire life he lived in his illusion just trying to escape like many people in the real world but deep down like everyone he had hope. Obito had been deep slumber since Rin died and took Madara's way of thinking and mannerisms to the point he actually believed he was Madara and committing crimes that would live to the name such as killing Naruto's parent. The killer was a nobody that hid behind Madara's character the hero was Obito Uchiha who helped Naruto defeat Kaguya.
9. Hashirama: Historically speaking Hagoromo and Kaguya are the starters of the Naruto world but Hashirama was the foundation of shinobi culture. As kid had dream and experience great lost just wanted to do was best for everyone, so much to the point he was willing to give his life for it when Madara gave him the options. Hashirama's dream started everything in the Naruto world and it doesn't hurt that he's one of the most powerful shinobi in history and balances it so well with his joking personality.
10. Shikamaru: This is probably one of the best description I've ever heard of Shikamaru that actually makes my introduction of him look like crap. This is what he says "He's not the most powerful but he knows that he is not powerful and that was makes him a powerhouse because he can use his intellect to manipulate the situation to his advantage to obtain the best possible outcome for him, and the coolest part about it he does it with the least amount effort because he's kind of lazy but when it comes to crunch time he goes all out and even if he doesn't win the fight or is going to lose he always does the best he can with the hand that he is dealt in the situation he is in. Hidan and Kakuzu arc is his defining moment, give it up for Naruto's right hand man Shikamaru.
Just like Kenichi618, I had to copy this when I saw it...
Honorary Member of The Book of Log.
If you worship the holyness that is the log, copy and paste this section onto your profile... although you may want to change the comments
Position: Log Worshipper (Since 10/9/2013)
Possible Book of Log Positons:
Log Worshipper: Beginning position. No requirements
Log Priest: You have created at least 1 Naruto related fanfic that frequently (every 2-4 chapers) praises the almighty log and actually fits into the story
Log Pope (there can be more than 1 pope... its safer that way): you have created 3 naruto related fanfics that frequently praise the almighty log
OR the Fanfic that already occasionally praises the log has at least 400 reviews
OR you create a (decently made) Naruto fanfic focused on praising the log... log forbid.
Excerpt of the log number 124: when using the log to escape a fire jutsu, it is konoha custom to write an apology letter to the log, and depending on rank of jutsu escaped from depicts how many words are needed. c-rank, two thousand, B-rank, one thousand five hundred, a-rank, one thousand. only S-rank and higher or excused from the writing of the letter. even then, it is still reccommended.
Log excerpt number 231: if konoha shinobi celebrate the holiday of Christmas, then it is required that they put gifts under the Christmas log. Use of a full tree is an insult to the log and if found out that shinobi is uneligible from using the log for a period of two months.
Log excerpt number 437: Use of the log in a situation that clearly could be avoided using a variety of other methods or techniques is looked down upon. In order to repent for such actions, the following steps should be taken:
For every dent caused by your replacement you shall plant one sapling.
For every stab wound caused by your replacement you shall plant five saplings.
For every hole in the log caused by your replacement you shall plant ten saplings.
For every detached piece of the log caused by your replacement you shall plant one sapling per square inch of detached log.
For a destroyed and unusable log caused by your replacement you shall plant twenty-five saplings.
If your log is defective you may call 1-800-BAD-LOGS to file a complaint. If your case is proven correctly your next replacement will be half off.
'and the willow sayeth unto the ninja: wherefore dost i weep? 'tis tears of joy, as thy kin and mine together fell thine foes, who would bring the axe and torch to the wood. the log ist thine ally, and mine kin. calling upon the log, is to call upon me. to aid thee in battle, i weep my tear of joy. and the ninja spoke: yea, thee and thine kin shall forever be blessed among me and mine kin. for thine bravery will never be forgotten.' -book of the log, song of the willow, verses 1-4
'as the log takes your place, you become the log. the log becomes you. for a moment, you are an extension of the logs blessing unto ninja.' -book of the log, chronicle of the replacement verse 3
'you are fools! your log is but a mockery of the power of ninja!- the ninja from the desert declared. and the people shook their heads. you have been denied the log for a long time, sandwalker. we cannot force you to see the glory of the log, but know this. when the time comes, and you have no other allies to call upon, the log will hear your prayers, and aid you.' -book of the log, redwood journals verses 15-16
'and as the smoke cleared, his foe stared in awe at the log. blackened and charred, the log crumbled. the ninja, filled with righteous wrath, fell upon his foe and slew him. he made his way to the log, and wept. his companion, the log that had accompanied him through so many battles, was no more. he spoke thus to his fallen companion: though now you have fallen in battle, you rest where the logs forever grow. the forest of life called for you, and you answered its call, as you did mine. i thank you my friend.' -book of the log, honor of the forest canticle I, verses 78-82
'he despaired, for in this place of stone and earth, there was no logs to be found. reaching out with all his might, he begged for a log in the forsaken wasteland. and he was answered, and saved by the log, in a place where there were none. -book of the log, wanderers saga, verses 7-9
'the log took his place and fell, forever into the abyss. the people, hearing of this, railed against him, in such numbers he swore to never endanger another log again. for many years, he fought without the log, growing more and more weary with each passing day. finally, he came across a foe that was too strong for him. as his life was about to end, he felt a familiar pull, and found himself out of harms way, seeing a log in his place. his stunned foe was felled in his stupor, and he approached the log, he knew it, for it was the same that fell so long ago. he asked of the log: why did you endanger yourself for me again? have you not done enough for me? and the log spoke: it is my duty, and our bond. we exist to save the ninja, and they exist to save the trees. we both play a part, for which i am content.' -book of the log, honor of the forest canticle II, verses 59-70
Let it be known that it is absolutely forbidden to willingly perform the technique known as "1000 years of death" on a log. It is also equally frowned upon for one to replace oneself with a holy log for the purpose of avoiding said technique. The punishment for such actions is at least 6 months of banishment from the use of the holy log
Quotes of Greatness
"This reality… is Hell." by Madara Uchiha
"When a person wants something really bad they lie and that's how you become president." -by Dean Winchester
"I'm not wearing any makeup. Oh crap. I'm a painted whore." - by Dean Winchester
"Boy, three bedrooms, two baths, and one homicide. This place is going to sell like hotcakes." - by Dean Winchester
" I have been Re-Hymenated." - by Dean Winchester
"Women, Showers. We got to save these people." - by Dean Winchester
Dean: Are you wearing glitter?
Kid: I only do it to get laid, man
Dean: ...Does it work?- Dean Winchester
"No drinking, no gambling, no pre-marital sex. Dean, they basically just outlawed 90% of your personality." - by Sam Winchester
Sam: Oh, hey, Chuck, look. If you really want to publish more books, I guess that's okay with us
Chuck: Wow. Really?
Sam: No, not really. We have guns and we will find you - by Sam Winchester
"WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK WE ARE!?!"- by Team Dai-Gurren (Gurren Lagann)
"For those who don't believe in themselves… hard work is worthless!!" by Might Guy
"To hell with your opinion! I’ll take my own path no matter what anyone else says!”- by Matoi Ryuko
"Ask not the sparrow how the eagle soars!"- by Kiryuin Satsuki
"I'm Batman"- by Batman
"That man [Batman] won't quit so long as he can draw breath. None of my teammates will. Me? I've got a different problem. [Punches Darkseid through the wall] I feel like I live in a world made of cardboard. Always taking care not to break something, to break someone. Never allowing myself to lose control, even for a moment, or someone could die. [Punches Darkseid again] But you can take it, can't you, big man? What we have here is a rare opportunity for me to cut loose, and show you just how powerful I really am." Superman just before uncorking an assbeating of a lifetime on Darkseid, reaffirming that he is indeed a bad mother f'er - Justice League Unlimited
"Weirdness keeps me entertained" by Me
"Get your facts straight" by Me
"Common sense is bull shit both literary and figuratively, seriously there is one point in our god damn fucking lives were we do the stupidest shit and stuffs and don't do you dare say that you didn't because you know deep down its true" by Me
"If you always put limit on everything you do, physical or anything else. It will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." by Bruce Lee
"Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate it." by Bruce Lee
"Obey the rules without being bound by them." by Bruce Lee
"That was so bad I think you gave me cancer!" Calculon - Futurama
"Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm." Winston Churchill
"Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much." Oscar Wilde
"When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car." Unknown
“I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: ‘Cover for me.’ Number 2: ‘Oh, good idea, Boss!’ Number 3: ‘It was like that when I got here.’” Homer Simpson - The Simpsons
“Attempted murder? Now honestly, what is that? Do they give a Nobel prize for attempted chemistry? Do they?" Sideshow Bob - The Simpsons
"Duct tape is like the force; it has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together." Carl Zwanzig
"The object of war is not to die for your country, it's to make the other bastard die for his." General George S. Patton
“This job would be great if it wasn’t for the fucking customers” Randal Graves - Clerks
"Guns don't kill people... but they sure help."
“There’s only two men I trust. One of ‘em’s me, the other one’s not you” Cameron Poe - Con Air
"If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?" Scott Adams
"One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures." George W. Bush
"Tickets? Since when did they start charging for the bus? Didn't we used to ride that shit to school every morning for free?" Jay - Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
"That's what the Internet is for! Slandering others anonymously."
"Fighting fair is for people that don't know how to avoid losing correctly."
"I don't drink from the fountain of wisdom, I gargle."
"Did you know that life is a sexually transmitted disease with a 100% fatality rate?"
"I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death. What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch and you go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities. You become a little baby, you go back into the womb, spend your last nine months floating... and you finish off as an orgasm." - George Carlin
"A fighter with lesser skill can knock out a man in one punch, but a regular person can make a skilled fighter cry like a girl with a single bullet."
"No technology is worth my dignity. If talking on a wireless headset means I gotta look like Buck Rogers, then I'm not interested. Besides, there's a reason why people hold a phone to their head! It lets people around you know your talking on the phone. So those people know not to waste time talking to you until you finish, which you then indicate, by putting that mothafucka away!" Gin Rummy - The Boondocks (And my thoughts on that stupid fucking bluetooth kick that 85% of this country was on a few years ago)
"If at first you don't succeed, deny that you were really trying in the first place."
"If you get glitter on you prepare to have it on you forever, because glitter is the herpes of craft supplies." Dimitri Martin
"Keep your expectations low. If you expect a kick in the balls, but get a slap in the face, then it's a victory."
"I've got half a mind to kill you, and the other half agrees."
"It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose."
"You never want to be in a fair fight if an unfair fight is an option." Forrest Griffin - Be Ready When The Sh*t Goes Down (A Survival Guide To The Apocalypse)
"Cheating: The Plan B of winners for over 2000 years."
"Right leg: hospital, left leg: cemetery." Mirko "Cro Cop" Filipovic (For those that do not understand you need to go to Youtube)
"The thing you should be thinking about isn't whether or not I can actually kill you with the nail clippers, it should be the fact that whether I can or not is irrelevant. No matter if I can or not, you know full well that I'm going to try, and that more than anything else should scare the hell out of you for more than one reason and answer your question right there." Kenichi618- Taken verbatim from his younger brother questioning his sanity after pissing him off in his bedroom post-shower and he took to threatening him with aforementioned grooming device.
"And that's the moral of the story. Some niggas need to go jail! I may be in hell, but at least I ain't in jail, nigga! (laughs maniacally)" Colonel H. Stinkmeaner - The Boondocks
"We are not retreating -- We are advancing in another direction." General Douglas MacArthur
"Bullets... my only weakness. How did you know?" Officer Palumbo - Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle
"Grammar is important. Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse, and helping your uncle jack off a horse."
"There's a very fine line between not listening and not caring. I like to think that I walk that line every day of my life."
"I don't understand a word you're going on about, but I know exactly what you're saying and I refuse to apologize."
"Nope, no matter how bad things seem, they can't be any better, and they can't be any worse, because that's the way things fucking are, and you better get used to it, Nancy. Quit yer bitching."
"I have a first place ribbon in doing nothing, it's the same color as last place... It's purple."
"Women are like Voltron, the more you hook up the better it gets."
"There's no 'I' in team." "Oh yeah! Well there's no "you" in "team" either! So I guess if I'm not on the team and you're not on the team, then nobody's on the goddamn team. The team sucks!"
Caboose: "Hey Church, ever wonder why we're here?"
Church: "You know, Caboose, I used to not care. I just went along with orders and hoped that everything would work out for me. But after all that has happened, you know what I learned? It's not about hating the guy on the other side because someone told you to. I mean, you should hate someone because they're an asshole, or pervert, or snob, or they're lazy, or arrogant, or an idiot, or a know-it-all. Those are reasons to dislike somebody. You don't hate a person because someone told you to. You have to learn to despise them on a personal level. Not because they're Red, or Blue, but because you know them, and you see them every single day, and you can't stand them because they are a complete and total fucking douchebag."
Caboose: "...I meant why are we up here in the sun when we could be standing down there in the shade."
Church: "Oh. Yeah, okay. Let's go stand in the shade." - Red vs. Blue
"Yep, hand to hand combat is the old school way to kill your enemies. Killing a man with your bare hands says 'We're all equals as men except I'm slightly more equal because I'm still alive and your dead.' Of course dropping a nuke on them from 50 thousand feet is totally acceptable. I mean let's face it, there just not enough time in this world to show everybody the courtesy of a good strangling."
"Shotgun to the face is a great contingency plan! Wanna see how it cures insubordination?" Sarge - Red vs. Blue
"Do you know why Americans love guns? And it's got nothing to do with all that phallic mumbo-jumbo, "cocking your gun." No, Hertz, people love guns because America is a land of opportunity where a poor man can become rich and a pussy can become a tough guy if he's got a gun in his hand." Mr. Hammerson - Shoot 'Em Up
"You know what I really hate? What I really hate, is a pussy with a gun in his hand." Mr. Smith - Shoot 'Em Up
"Fruit don't talk... Fruit just listens... and waits." Earlie Cuyler - Squidbillies
"Okay I'm going to be completely serious with you... There's every chance in the world I was drunk when I said that."
"Sarcasm is a body's natural defense against stupid."
"You should never avert your eyes from death, never look away from the lives you have taken. And you should never forget the people that you have killed, because I can assure you they will never forget you." Solf J. Kimblee - Fullmetal Alchemist
"Bed is for sissies, unless you're having sex in which case... yeah, bed is still for sissies." Gregory House - House
"I've run over black cats that were luckier than me."
"Thank God I wore underwear today." Derek Zoolander - Zoolander
"I just made you famous for lookin' like a dumbass, thank you."
"I'm not bi-polar, I'm bi-winning. I win here and I win there." Charlie Sheen
"I am on a drug. It's called Charlie Sheen. It's not available because if you try it you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body." Charlie Sheen
"A.A. was written for normal people, people that aren't special. People that don't have tiger blood, you know, Adonis-DNA." Charlie Sheen
"Dying is for fools... amateurs." Charlie Sheen
"C.B.S. picked a fight with a warlock." Charlie Sheen
"If you borrowed my brain for five seconds, you'd be like, 'Dude! I can't handle it, unplug this bastard!' It fires in a way that's maybe not from this, uh... this terrestrial realm." Charlie Sheen
"I'm tired of pretending I'm not special. I'm tired of pretending I'm not a total bitchin' rock star from Mars." Charlie Sheen... and now me.
"If it doesn't hurt you're not doing it right... just like sex." by Kenichi618.
Fit Tony: "That's why I keep my friends close-."
Homer Simpson: "-And your enemies closer?"
Fit Tony: "No. Why would I do that? If they were close they would kill me."
"Just because you sold seven million albums doesn’t mean you’re talented. It just means that there are seven million people that are stupid as hell." Phil 'CM Punk' Brooks
"Do you know what it's like going through life being better than everybody? It's hard."
"If it doesn't kill you, use it and kill somebody else..."
"I want a shirt that just says "f* you" on it, and I want to wear it while walking through airports all day. There's no such thing as a bad word, just bad intentions."
"I've been imitated so well I've heard people copy my mistakes." Jimi Hendrix
"If anything in this life is certain, if history has taught us anything; it is that you can kill anyone." Michael Corleone - The Godfather: Part II
"You cannot achieve success, without the risk of failure. And I learned a long time ago, you cannot achieve success, if you fear failure. If you're not afraid to fail, man, you have a chance to succeed. But you're never gonna get there unless you risk it all the way. I was a failure. Sometimes, half the fun is failing. Learning from your mistakes, waking up the next morning, and saying 'Okay. Watch out. Here I come again. A little bit smarter, licking my wounds, and really not looking forward to getting my ass kicked the way I just did yesterday.' So now, I'm just a little more dangerous." Paul Heyman
"Show me a man with a combover and I'll show you a man that believes that by crushing a bag of chips... you make more chips." Sheng Wang
"My plans always work! ...Sometimes!"
"Well let me just quote the late-great Colonel Sanders, who said... 'I'm too drunk to taste this chicken.'" Ricky Bobby - Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
"If animals have taught me anything it's that you can die very quickly and very suddenly under a bus or on the side of the road." Charlie - It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"I found that if you have a goal, you might not reach it. But if you don't have one, then you are never disappointed. And I gotta tell ya... it feels phenomenal." Peter La Fleur - Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
"Saying you're a history major out loud is basically just the same thing as telling your friends, 'Yes, I do remember every dumbass thing you've ever done in front of me, and I can bring it up accurately whenever I want, so don't start.' I love it, but there's not a whole lot of good job options available for it. What the hell am I going to do, teach? I'm way too hateful to teach kids." Kenchi618 - Me at Buffalo Wild Wings after being asked by friends why I try to major in communications instead of the other thing that I'm good at
"Live every week like it's Shark Week." Tracy Jordan - 30 Rock
"I am finished doing what I swore an oath to God 28 years ago to never do again. I've created, 'something that kills people.' And in that purpose, I was a success. I've done this because, philosophically, I am sympathetic to your aim. I can tell you with no ego, this is my finest sword. If on your journey, you should encounter God, God will be cut." Hattori Hanzo - Kill Bill Vol.1
("Money doesn't buy happiness.") Rebuttal: "...Have you ever tried not having money before?"
"You know who's going to inherit the earth? Arms dealers. Because everyone else is too busy killing each other. That's the secret to survival. Never go to war, especially with yourself." Yuri Orlov - Lord or War
"Ambition is the willingness to kill the thing you love and eat them to stay alive." Jack Donaghy - 30 Rock
"There are only three kinds of people in this world; those who can count and those who can't."
"You can't touch music, but music can touch you." Mordecai - Regular Show
"If you never choose a side and always stay in the middle you'll never have to directly face down quite as much as if you did, but you'll also always have at least one thing at your open back ready to take a free shot at you no matter which way you turn."
"Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we've always had: work or prison." -Tim Allen
"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time." -Robin Williams
"Ah, yes, divorce. From the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet." -Robin Williams
"People say hate is a strong word, but so is love. And people throw it around like it's nothing." -Unknown
"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away."
"The believer is happy. The doubter is wise."
"We all know God invented liquor to keep the Irish from ruling the world."
"You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon'." -Chris Rock
"Heaven doesn't want me, and Hell's afraid I'll take over."
"Common sense is the most uncommon thing in the world."
"Stress: A condition caused by repressing the body's desire to strangle the living daylights out of some jerk who desperately deserves it."
"Life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think."
"You see, among all men-those who value beauty, money, success, prestige-those of us who value love are the most dangerous of all. More than any others, we will compromise morals, ethics, our lives, and the lives of those around us-all for the sake of love."
"Millions long for immortality, but do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon." -Susan Ertz
"Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself." -Harvey Fierstein
"Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is probably why so few engage in it." -Henry Ford
"A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer." -Robert Frost
"Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich." -Napoleon Bonaparte
"In politics, stupidity is not a handicap." - Napoleon Bonaparte
"Love is the self-delusion we manufacture to justify the trouble we take to have sex." -Daniel S. Greenberg
"Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?"
"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."
"The road to hell is ordered by the righteous, planned by the well-meaning, and paved with their good intentions."
"When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets."
"If you find yourself in a fair fight you didn't plan your mission properly."
"A woman is like a teabag; you never know how strong she is until she's in hot water." -Eleanor Roosevelt
"Sex could kill you. Do you know what the human body goes through when you have sex? Pupils dilate, arteries constrict, core temperature rises, heart races, blood pressure skyrockets, respiration becomes rapid and shallow, the brain fires bursts of electrical impulses from nowhere to nowhere, secretions spit out of every gland and the muscles tense and spasm like you're lifting three times your body weight. It's violent, it's ugly and it's messy. And if God hadn't made it unbelievably fun, the human race would have died out eons ago. Men are lucky they can only have one orgasm. Do you know that women can have an hour long orgasm?" -Dr.Allison Cameron - House, M.D.
"Life with men is like a deck of cards... You need a Heart to love them, a Diamond to marry them, a Club to beat them, and a Spade to bury the bastards." -Unknown
"I am prepared to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter." - Winston Churchill
"He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." -Friedrich Nietzsch
"One of the most obvious facts about grownups to a child is that they have forgotten what it is like to be a child." -Randall Jarrell
Butch: "You so need to lighten up about the potato-launcher incident.
Phury: "You broke my window."
Butch: "Of course we did. V and I were aiming for it."
Butch: "Thus proving that he and I are outstanding marksmen." -Butch and Phury, Lover Unbound
"Me? I'm dishonest, and with a dishonest man, you can always trust him to be dishonest. Honestly, it's the honest ones you have to watch out for because you never know when he's going to turn around and do something incredibly stupid." -Jack Sparrow, PotC
"All I see in your sword is fear. If you dodge, you're afraid of being hit. If you're protecting someone, you're afraid they'll die. If you attack, you're afraid you'll cut them. There is no place for fear here. Do you see the resolve to cut you in my blade? If I dodge, I won't let you hit me. If I'm protecting someone, I won't let them die. If I'm attacking, I will cut you." -Urahara Kisuke, Bleach
"A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory."
"Life is about trusting your feelings and taking chances, losing and finding happiness, appreciating the memories, learning from the past, and realizing people change."
"That which doesn't kill you...will probably try again."
"Schools is this nation's backbone." Cam Brady - The Campaign
"Cain Velasquez might be able to take me down. He might be able to take me down 10 times. But for each of those times he takes me down, I'm going to stand back up. If I land 10 punches on Cain Velasquez, he's not going to stand back up." Junior dos Santos
"If I tell you I'm good, you would probably think I'm boasting. If I tell you I'm no good, you know I'm lying." Bruce Lee
"Ahh Twitter... giving cowards a forum to say things to people they would never say in real life, since 2006." Phil 'CM Punk' Brooks
"Cats are kind of like girls. If they come and talk to you it's great. But if you try to talk to them it doesn't always go so well." Shigeru Miyamoto
“Wanna make a monster? Take the parts of yourself that make you uncomfortable - your weaknesses, bad thoughts, vanities, and hungers - and pretend they’re across the room. It’s too ugly to be human. It’s too ugly to be you. Children are afraid of the dark because they have nothing real to work with. Adults are afraid of themselves.” Richard Silken - Black Telephone
"If the world didn't suck we'd all fall off."
"Ignorance isn't just bliss, it's also great motivation. There's nothing quite as inspiring as not knowing that you can't do something." Kenchi618
"James Cameron doesn't do what James Cameron does for James Cameron. James Cameron does what James Cameron does, because James Cameron IS... James Cameron." James Cameron - South Park
"The world is diagonal. I am the balancing point." Vaas - Far Cry 3
"Life cares about you a little less every second you're alive." Greg Fitzsimmons
"I was in public office and I left public office the only way a person should. In handcuffs." Chael Sonnen
"Well-rounded just means that you suck at a lot of things all at once. Try growing a spine and mastering something for a change, worm." Chael Sonnen
"I’m not a cheater, I’m a gangster. Gangsters follow their own set of rules and it’s up to another gangster to attempt to stop me." Chael Sonnen
"Those who break the rules are trash, but those who abandon their comrades are worse than trash! If I'm going to be called trash either way, I'd rather break the rules! And if that somehow makes me anything less than a real shinobi, then I'll crush all of the so-called "real" shinobi!" - Obito Uchiha (Even though he defected in the worst way possible, but you cant help yourself but to admire his past self)
"Don't underestimate me! I don't quit and I don't run! You can act tough all you want! You're not gonna scare me off! No way! I don't care if I DO get stuck as a genin for the rest of my life! I'll still be Hokage someday!" - Naruto Uzumaki (And by god that's actually going to happen)
"That's why we endure… We are ninja. I will never forget. And anyway, that wound means that my friends are still inside me. The real friends are not the ones I created in my dreams not to get hurt… That would be erasing the real ones. It can work as a curse but I don't care… I want to keep the real Neji here!!" - Naruto Uzumaki (You heard him, so yeah quit with the grey Naruto shit its annoying the hell out of me)
"That time I should have called out to him. I thought about it over and over. That's why… I… don't want regrets. I don't want to think, "I should have done it!!" And I don't want all the things we did to be turned to nothing!" - Naruto Uzumaki
"Good judgment comes from experience, experience comes from bad judgment."
"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."
"The problem with defending the purity of the English language is that English is about as pure as a crib-house whore. We don't just borrow words; on occasion English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary."
"Don’t tell me the sky is the limit when there are Footprints on the moon…"
"It only takes 20 years for a liberal to become a conservative without changing a single idea."
"Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car."
"Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege."
"War doesn’t determine who’s right. War determines who’s left."
"If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress?"
"I once prayed to God for a bike, but quickly found out he didn't work that way…so I stole a bike and prayed for his forgiveness."
"The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources."
"Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian."
"Anyone who uses the phrase “easy as taking candy from a baby” has never tried taking candy from a baby."
"Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over the strings are attached."
"Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence. (A life sentence!)"
"Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results." -Narcotics Anonymous
"When I say I love you, you say you don't deserve it. When I say I need you, you say I deserve someone better. When I say my life is better with you, you say I don't know any better. But when I kiss you, you say I love you. When I have to go, you say I need you. When I am with you, you know, that there is no better feeling then our love coming together and that is something we both deserve."
"I'll always be beside you until the very end, wiping all your tears away, being your best friend. I'll smile when you smile and feel all the pain you do, and if you cry a single tear, I promise I'll cry too."
"Some people believe that holding on and hanging in there are signs of strength. However, there are times in life in which it takes much more strength to just let go."
"This life is what you make it. No matter what, you're going to mess up sometimes, it's a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you're going to mess it up. Girls will be your friends - they'll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, some go. The ones that stay with you through everything - they're your true best friends. Don't let go of them. Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world. As for lovers, well, they'll come and go too. And baby, I hate to say it, most of them - actually pretty much all of them are going to break your heart, but you can't give up because if you give up, you'll never find your soulmate. You'll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. Just because you fail once, doesn't mean you're gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don't, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life's a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about.” -Marilyn Monroe
"To laugh often and love much; to win the respect of intelligent persons and the affection of children; to earn the approbation of honest citizens and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to give of one’s self; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to have played and laughed with enthusiasm and sung with exultation; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived—this is to have succeeded." - Bessie Anderson Stanley
"Deception may be found everywhere, and as ninjas we see it every day, However if one were to simply open their eyes and observe carefully, they would see that the roots of all deception lie at home. For it is where we are at the most ease that we feel the need to overlook the most important things no matter how small they seem. For these very things are the root of our problems, they slowly blinds us all to the bigger picture, the grand conception, and in doing so opens us to heartbreak and sorrow. I find it safe to say that deception would not exist in this world at all so long as we all just opened our eyes and stopped our everyday tasks to take a moment and think about what truly causes our pain. Is it the act of a breaking bond? The death of a friend? The destruction of a home? All are tragic, yet none compare to the pain that can be felt when one is betrayed, the pain of an iron wedge being driven through your heart, yet even this is dwarfed by the betrayal of family, for when that wedge starts burning it does not just separate the betrayer from the others. It will tear a family apart slowly as they grieve and fight, an act that is as cruel as can be. Yet none of this can compare to the sight of their faces as they are betrayed, nothing compares to the joy I feel now as I watch you stand there shocked. Yes, this is true satisfaction." -Naruto Namikaze- Anbu Captain
"People live their lives bound by what they accept as correct and true. That is how they define 'reality'. But what does it mean to be 'correct' or 'true'? Merely vague concepts... their 'reality' may all be a mirage. Can we consider them to simply be living in their own world, shaped by their beliefs? After all, reality and illusion are interchangeable. One's reality might be another's illusion. We all live inside our own fantasies." - Itachi Uchiha
"Dating is like pulling off a successful heist. It's fun, it's thrilling, and you seem to have gained a lot from nothing. But marriage is like getting arrested after that crime. You lose your rights, your liberty, and when the adrenaline finally wears off, you realize how dreary your life has become, doing mundane chores and eating the same three square meals every day. It's a stable but banal existence that will suck the life out of you." -"La Tormenta" by Jiraiya's Dream
"Fans: The epitome of Love and Hate relationships. You love your fans because due to the massive support they did on buying your work and gave your series. You hate them when they start bitching about certain things they don't like because they say 'This way is better'. So yeah this is the curse that people bear for having fans, I know it sucks doesn't it. Bear the ultimate curse" - by me.
"Mr. White? Are you smoking weed? Oh my god... wait a minute, is that, is that my weed? What the hell man, make yourself at home why don't you." -Jesse Pinkman to Walter White.
"Yeah bitch! Magnets!" - Pinkman after his laptop was destroyed.
"Where's my money, Bitch?" - Stewie Griffin while beating up Brian Griffin.
"So computer what are you thinking right now?" (Robotic Voice "Stewie is cool" "Yay!" - Stewie Griffin playing with his laptop.
"Sir, you can't smoke within fifty feet of here [Hospital]" "Roll me further, Bitch." - Pinkman talking to an hospital employee.
"I understand that you are arresting me for robbery, but I licked the money, therefore it is mine." -Unknown, but genius.
"Everybody shut up, I'm trying to science!" - Markiplier.
"Wade...You're a douche." - Markiplier.
"Though a fight every now and then does make life a little more interesting, don't ya think?"- by Dante (Devil May Cry)
"Foolishness, Dante. Foolishness. Might controls everything - and without strength, you cannot protect anything; let alone yourself."- by Vergil (Devil May Cry)
"JACKPOT!" by Dante and Vergil (Devil May Cry)
"The most dangerous people in the world aren't the ones that kill people, but the ones that THINK about killing people. Power to the pen, bitch." - Bonesboy15
The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I go out with you", and take into account the fact that I went out with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct . . . leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A."
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