jino turtlegod
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Joined 02-27-01, id: 46014, Profile Updated: 05-09-08
Author has written 14 stories for Evangelion, Card Captor Sakura, School Rumble, Gunslinger Girl, and Haruhi Suzumiya series.

You really tend to get a new perspective in life when the beautiful, smart, and charming-when-she-wants-to-be girl sitting behind you in class drags you off somewhere dark, dank, and dirty. Now before that train of thought spirals into the gutter, you do have to put into mind that that girl just might be God. And despite the obvious desire to try to see how soft the skirt covered bottom in front of you is as you crawled down on hands and knees into the depths of God (in this case, the girl crawling ahead of me)-knows-where, one does have to put the new perspective in life into mind.

Simply put, the skirt covered bottom in front of me might just be a metaphor of how life is going to be.

For the moment, life is looking good.

Now, I’ll let that train of thought spiral into the gutter. Despite all her god-like capabilities, the girl in front of me has no psychic abilities what-so-ever… or so I hope.

Bad, Kyon.

“What did you say?”

I blink as Haruhi looks back and shines the flashlight directly into my eyes.

“Do you know that if your eyes become accustomed to low light, shining a light directly at them can cause some pain?”

“Of course,” Haruhi said with some derision as she waves the flashlight some more, each pass of the light flooding my eyes causing a slight build-up in the headache I’m feeling. “Pain builds character.” She turns back forward.

No wonder some people think God’s a sadist.

You do know that if faced with imminent doom, you’re the second person that I would like to be stuck with? I’d prefer to have the ever-dependable Nagato Yuki with me.

“I would have loved to bring Yuki instead of you, but I can’t find her. I think the Computer Club abducted her!” Haruhi retorted.

Don’t tell me we’re crawling underneath the Computer Club President’s apartment building in an insane attempt at a rescue?!

“Of course not! We’re doing a scouting mission for our next mystery search! They say that there’s a dead person somewhere here!”

Oh my God - not you Haruhi! The crazy girl is going to bring me into a dead person’s home! Is this where you get all those stuff you keep filling the club room with?!

Before she could answer my question, the tunnel suddenly came to a large cavern. Haruhi waved her flashlight around, the tiny light was like a light saber in the overwhelming darkness. I don’t know why, but I had a sudden urge to get closer to Haruhi. If she thinks that ‘Won’t it be fun if a tentacled monster comes out of the darkness and jumps us?’ - then surely one tentacled monster will come out. And there’s only one sure bet on who the monster will attack. I wonder how Haruhi will explain that to my Mom – ‘I’m sorry Kyon-mama, but Kyon got eaten while we were searching an underground cavern…’. Poor Mama, though I have the nagging feeling she’ll forgive Haruhi.

The tiny beam of light finally settled on a huge heap of cobwebbed turtle shells that for some odd reason reminded me of ancient cairns - burial mound made of stone. From the heap, a hand - grimy with built up layers of dust and cobwebs - was sticking out. A yellowing piece of paper was grasped in its fingers.

“Here, keep the light on it,” Haruhi said as she handed me the flashlight. She leaned forward to pluck the piece of paper from the hand. I took her other hand to anchor her. When she finally got the piece of paper, I pulled her back, and I swear I wasn’t thinking any perverted thoughts as I held her warm body to me.

“Shine the light over here!” Haruhi exclaimed, as excited as a kid in a candy store as she unrolled the piece of paper.

I AIN’T DEAD

Haruhi blinked as she read the big bold letters.

“What does that mean?”

I can’t answer.

Maybe because my heart was in my throat.

I had finally noticed that from within the heap of turtleshells, a pair of eyes were staring at us.

Disclaimer:

Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu is owned by Tanigawa Nagaru and used without permission. I don't like SI fics so I made an SI Bio. This Bio is rated K (a rare thing for me).

Plot Bunnies - I really hate having them running around my brain like rabid… er, bunnies. As per usual, updates are sporadic.

Mangling the English Language since… 3.09.2001

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

30 Kisses, 30 Ways Asuka and Shinji by Eric Blair reviews
Chances given by fate: 30 kisses Shinji and Asuka can share, 30 ways they can be exchanged. During instrumentality an infinite number of worlds were created, all of them different, all unique. They all have one single unifying rule. Update: 02/14/2011.
Evangelion - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 122,784 - Reviews: 202 - Favs: 104 - Follows: 81 - Updated: 2/14/2013 - Published: 11/30/2006 - Shinji I., Asuka S.
Rolling Blackouts by hidinginplainsight reviews
Late at night in the middle of a power outage, Asuka realizes she might have to turn to her roommate for help staying warm.
Evangelion - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 27,539 - Reviews: 134 - Favs: 234 - Follows: 150 - Updated: 1/8/2013 - Published: 5/12/2011 - Asuka S., Shinji I. - Complete
Bullets For My Love by Odon reviews
How do you respond to the affections of a fourteen year-old killing machine? For Hilshire/Triela shippers.
Gunslinger Girl - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 989 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/19/2011 - Hillshire, Triela - Complete
I Can't Believe It's Not 15 IBRC Certification by Lord Raa reviews
What if Shinji had different guardians? And what if he was exposed to new ideas during his upbringing?
Evangelion - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 12 - Words: 46,672 - Reviews: 183 - Favs: 306 - Follows: 323 - Updated: 1/12/2011 - Published: 10/21/2007
30 Wounds by AthenAltena reviews
30 stories of Triela and Hillshire as they work through their individual wounds, both physical and emotional, while learning to work together and stay alive.
Gunslinger Girl - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 15 - Words: 7,124 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 9/9/2009 - Published: 9/27/2007
Orchestrating the Silence by SerialRavist reviews
What happens when the last two people on Earth can't stand each other?
Evangelion - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 76,321 - Reviews: 270 - Favs: 453 - Follows: 105 - Updated: 10/31/2008 - Published: 3/19/2008 - Shinji I., Asuka S. - Complete
The Cat And The Dog: Analogy Part 1 by momoxtoshiro reviews
Full title: The Cat And The Dog : Analogy Part 1 : Choking. Why does Haruhi start choking all of a sudden lately? And what happens when she and Kyon are alone when she suffers a horrible coughing attack? Long oneshot KyonxHaruhi Fluff.
Haruhi Suzumiya series - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,924 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 50 - Follows: 6 - Published: 7/8/2008 - Complete
Wherefore Ducks? And Other Stories by Gogol reviews
Read the chronicles of Ankh-Morpork's Finest as they struggle valiantly to keep The Truth away from That Nosy De Worde's ears, The Convenient Lies out of That Bloody Slant's hands, and The Nobbs out of Mr. Scrope's Family Institution! **COMPLETE!**
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 15 - Words: 38,273 - Reviews: 68 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 6/22/2008 - Published: 3/1/2008 - Complete
Love and Hate by Eric Blair reviews
Kirai, Kirei. A series of one shots focusing on the duality of Asuka's feelings for Shinji. Session the 50th: La opera e finita.
Evangelion - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 50 - Words: 35,638 - Reviews: 185 - Favs: 71 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 4/3/2008 - Published: 3/31/2007 - Asuka S., Shinji I.
To Love an Idiot by iPwnNano reviews
Minami-Ke:: Fujioka's efforts to earn the affections of the girl he loves usually end up in vain. Could he get it through her head this time?
Minami-ke - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,035 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 5 - Published: 2/19/2008 - Complete
Paperclips by Li'l Lawliet reviews
Ninamori sighed and put another paperclip down on the desk, not liking the click of cheap metal and laminate. One for every time she’d succeeded, that was the rule. Oneshot, onesided NinaNao. For my sister, who acts like Ninamo-sama.
Furi Kuri: FLCL - Rated: K - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 722 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/11/2008 - Complete
On The Ferris Wheel by YamiPaladinofChaos reviews
There are worse things than being stuck with Ninamori, Naota thinks. But not many.
Furi Kuri: FLCL - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 511 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/13/2007 - Complete
In a Perfect World Revised by Hououza reviews
Set in AU from Episode 26. SA and SR. Under revision.
Evangelion - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 35,448 - Reviews: 203 - Favs: 90 - Follows: 92 - Updated: 4/16/2007 - Published: 4/21/2004 - Shinji I.
A Lukewarm Love Affair by Seijitsu reviews
Oneshot. Naota's in middle school now... and Ninamori is coming on to him.
Furi Kuri: FLCL - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,366 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 11 - Published: 12/21/2006 - Complete
Going Home by Kilonji reviews
Isshin makes his choice. Rated for language. Massive spoilers.
Bleach - Rated: M - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,322 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 7 - Published: 4/7/2006 - Isshin K., K. Urahara - Complete
Subtle by YamiPaladinofChaos reviews
[Naota x Ninamori] You're in love, idiot.
Furi Kuri: FLCL - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 422 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/31/2006 - Complete
Her Prince Charming by Sheo Darren reviews
Just what is Hirscher to Triela? My take on pysali's 'Princess, Princess'. Fluff fic. Read, enjoy and review.
Gunslinger Girl - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,584 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/26/2005 - Complete
Fundamentals by dementedchris reviews
Vignette. Misao learns a few things about the art of the kiss.
Rurouni Kenshin - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,594 - Reviews: 49 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 4 - Published: 7/23/2002 - Misao, Aoshi - Complete
Across by dementedchris reviews
Vignette. Tsubasa reflects on falling in love as she crosses a street.
His and Her Circumstances - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 590 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 10 - Published: 3/5/2002
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Alternate Rewards reviews
Her usual reward was a teddy bear. As she's growing up, she starts to want something else. Hillshire x Triela
Gunslinger Girl - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 7,196 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 9/11/2008 - Published: 1/22/2008
Deceit in Snow reviews
Data manipulation was their specialty, but human manipulation was something that they were quickly picking up on. IDE Faction-centric.
Haruhi Suzumiya series - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 535 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Published: 5/9/2008 - Complete
Seasons Summer reviews
Summer is the season of the Sun. And yet for a time of joyous play, heavy hearts and clouded spirits abound.
Evangelion - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,319 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 5/5/2008 - Published: 4/21/2008 - Asuka S., Shinji I.
Between the lines reviews
Their relationship was hard to decipher, even if one is used to reading between the lines. Triela x Hillshire
Gunslinger Girl - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,448 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 4/2/2008 - Published: 1/22/2008
Seasons Spring reviews
Spring is the Season of Rebirth and two former Children begin to travel the path to adulthood.
Evangelion - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 9 - Words: 14,848 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 4/2/2008 - Published: 4/22/2004 - Shinji I., Asuka S. - Complete
Side Story reviews
A boy is heartbroken after being rejected by his secret love. YxH
School Rumble - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,662 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 6 - Published: 10/4/2007
Heaven and Hell reviews
The Third Impact has been averted and the world has been saved. It is a time for peace, to lay down the weapons of salvation. But there is no time when you are suspended between Heaven and Hell. Complete. Canonical revisions done.
Evangelion - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 21 - Words: 119,217 - Reviews: 104 - Favs: 57 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 7/22/2003 - Published: 3/9/2001 - Asuka S., Shinji I. - Complete
Is It? reviews
What is Love? How do you know it is?
Card Captor Sakura - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,247 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 5/26/2002
Treading Water reviews
What happens after one says "I Love You"
Evangelion - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 11,153 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 5/26/2002 - Published: 1/7/2002
Shin-chan in WOnderland reviews
Feh. I hate this part of uploading. Written in the same vein as "The Truth About Ikari and Ayanami". If you liked that you would love this...I hope.
Evangelion - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,187 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/13/2001
To Say ... reviews
Syaoran returns from Hong Kong to say the three words that means so much. (Sigh... reload)
Card Captor Sakura - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,021 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 6 - Published: 5/29/2001
Tomoyo's Twilight reviews
An entry to ToMoYo HiKaRi SyAoRaN's challenge to wirte a non-S+S romance fic. Let's just say I took her advice seriously.
Card Captor Sakura - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,106 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 2 - Updated: 4/4/2001 - Published: 3/18/2001
The Truth About Ikari and Ayanami reviews
Gendo Ikari. Rei Ayanami. A secret room. A secret relationship. The truth.
Evangelion - Rated: M - English - Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 743 - Reviews: 29 - Published: 3/19/2001
Red Rose, White Day reviews
I hate making summaries, let's just say that reading too much WAFF results in authors writing stuff like this :) Oh, yeah, after reading the reviews I tried to polish it up. No major changes but hopefully it clears things up
Evangelion - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 14,057 - Reviews: 44 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 3/14/2001 - Published: 3/9/2001
Arty d'Arc (51)
dementedchris (29)
Eric Blair (11)
Hououza (23)
JustGrace13 (30)
Lord Raa (39)
Maesdream (11)
Odon (30)