"Whatever happened to me in my life, happened to me as a writer of plays. I’d fall in love, or fall in lust. And at the height of my passion, I would think, “So this is how it feels,” and I would tie it up in pretty words. I watched my life as if it were happening to someone else. My son died. And I was hurt, but I watched my hurt, and even relished it, a little, for now I could write a real death, a true loss. My heart was broken by my dark lady, and I wept, in my room, alone; but while I wept, somewhere inside I smiled. For I knew I could take my broken heart and place it on the stage of The Globe, and make the pit cry tears of their own."
William Shakespeare, “The Tempest,” issue #75 of The Sandman (1996), collected in The Wake.
Name: Lilith (soon to be conqueror of the universe)
Age: pick a number between 1 and 100 ;P
Things I like: DOCTOR WHO, harry potter, marvel comics(most of them anyway), manga/anime, one piece, black butler, supernatural, chocolate, oranges and yaoi
I also love to travel and my favorite place to visit is new zealand (i currently live in the US) but paris is amazing too
Things I hate: fanfics that NEVER UPDATE!!!! (Although those are the only ones I seem to find T-T) clowns and cold weather
Copy the bunny onto your profile to help him achieve world domination. Come join the dark side. (We have cookies and yaoi/yuri)
If the opposite of 'pro' is 'con', then what's the opposite of 'progress
When life gives you lemonade make lemons then laugh at the laws of the universe
Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
You never truly know someone untill you've seen how they react when their chips get stuck in the vending machine.
Don't take life too seriously; no on gets out alive.
Wine, now cheeper than gas! Drink, don't drive.
95% of teens would cry if they saw EDWARD CULLEN at the top of a skyscraper about to jump. put this as part of your profile if you are part of the 5% that would sit here with popcorn & a camera and yell ''DO A FLIP!!!''
93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile.
If you have ever (almost) taken over the world, but were distracted by something shiny, copy and paste this into your profile
The Difference Between Friends and Best Friends
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
FRIENDS: Are only through highschool/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
FRIENDS: Will crack under interrogation.
FRIENDS: Will look at you like you're crazy when you tell them you're an alien from outerspace.
FRIENDS: Will know all your passwords.
FRIENDS: Will tell a cute guy you're in the bathroom.
1. Honesty is the best policy, but Insanity is a better defense.
2. Nobody is perfect. I am nobody. Therefore I am perfect!
3. Someday my Prince will come. He just took a wrong turn, got lost and is too stubborn to ask for directions
4. You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you!
5. Don't get me mad! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies!
6. Out of my mind...Back in five minutes.
7. Chaos. Panic. Disorder. My work here is done
8. You! Off my planet!
9. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
10. BAD COP! - NO DONUT!!!
11. Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.
12. I am a bomb technician - If you see me running try to keep up
13. My mind works like lightning...one brilliant flash and it's gone.
20 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Steve Jobs and Bob Hope. now we have: no cash, no jobs and no hope. PLEASE don't let Kevin Bacon die
MORE favorite sayings:
1) Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
2) He who laughs last thinks slowest.
3) Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
4) The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90 probability you'll get it wrong.
5) A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
6) The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
7) A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
8) When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of Jury duty.
9) It takes 42 muscles to frown, but just 28 muscles to smile. Though it only takes 4 muscles to reach out and slap someone in the mouth.
10) All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.
11) Tell your voices to SHUT UP...I can't hear mine...
12) Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.
13) I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound as they go by.
14) Don’t mess with me I've got a stick.
15) People are like Slinky's, basically useless, but it's still fun to watch them fall down the stairs.
16) One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.
17) Some people are alive because it's illegal to kill them.
18 Microsoft: "You've got questions. We've got dancing paperclips."
19) Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!
20) A best friend will help you move the dead body of your ex boyfriend to a ditch on the side of the freeway!!
21) "Stress: The condition brought on by overriding the body's desire to kick someone's ass"
22) "Please Note: CHRISTMAS IS CANCELED Apparently you told Santa that you have been good this year...he died laughing."
OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.
19 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
1. At Lunch Time , Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it " In".
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks , Write "For Smuggling Diamonds".
7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy".
8. Don't use any punctuation.
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10. Order a Diet Water when ever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go".
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In the Mood.
16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.
17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"
18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!"
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."
I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it :)
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