The Hero of Time 1998
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Poll: I've noticed a crap-ton of mistakes and stuff that doesn't make sense in SS:TAI. Should I edit it now or just wait 'till I've finished the series then proofread at the end? Vote Now!
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Joined 03-19-13, id: 4609025, Profile Updated: 06-16-15
Author has written 5 stories for Legend of Zelda, and Hetalia - Axis Powers.

I DO NOT OWN MY PROFILE PICTURE

If you are insane but intelligent, put this in your profile!

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (But, when else will I be able to do my hair?)

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (Ohhh...see, I thought different soap had different methods of use.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (I'd say that method of ironing works very well.)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (That's correct, we need to stop them five year olds from driving them forklifts.)

On a Korean kitchen knife: "Keep out of children." (Is it... supposed to say that?)

On the bottom of a Tirasimu Dessert box: "Warning: Do not flip upside-down." (Oh, thank's for the warning.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (I had NO IDEA.)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (Where else are we gonna use 'em? Outer space?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (...I have no idea what that means..)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (What, no peas?)

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (Raise your hand if you've done this.)

On plastic wrapping: "Do not put on head...may result in suffocation." (But...suffocation is fun!)

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity. Copy and paste this into your profile! XD

female come backs

pick up line comebacks, add to it

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

Guy: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
Girl: Did it hurt when they kicked you out of hell?
Guy: I would die for you.
Girl: Prove it.
Guy: I think you're the best looking girl here.
Girl: Well, I better go find the best looking guy then, hadn't I?
Guy: Do you believe in love at first sight, or do you want me to walk by again?
Girl: Yeah, but this time, don't stop. (NOT BY ME)

GIRLS REPOST THIS AS "female comebacks"
GUYS REPOST THIS AS "don't let this happen

37 Things to do in an Elevator

1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"

2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.

3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.

4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

5. Meow occasionally.

6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.

7. Say "DING!" at each floor.

8. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.

9. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

10. Stare grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."

11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.

13. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."

14. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

15. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them.

16. Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.

17. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"

18. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"

19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.

20. Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.

21. Swat at flies that don't exist.

22. Call out "Group hug!" then enforce it.

23. Make car race noises when someone gets on or off.

24. Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you.

25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"

26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.

27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.

28. Let your cell phone ring - don't answer it.

29. Walk into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."

30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.

31. Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer.

32. Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.

33. Ask, "Did you feel that?"

34. Tell people that you can see their aura.

35. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."

36. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."

37. Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time..."

19 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time , Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it " In".

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks , Write "For Smuggling Diamonds".

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy".

8. Don't use any punctuation.

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water when ever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go".

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In the Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

15 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme song.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

15. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"

BEST FRIENDS/FRIENDS

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will call him and whisper, "Seven days..."

FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.

BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.

BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.

BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.

BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.

BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run - girl - run!"

FRIENDS: Will help you move.

BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.

BEST FRIENDS: Has a wet shoulder from your tears.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS: Would beat up the crowds that left you.

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.

BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!

FRIENDS: Would read ignore this.

BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this!

(I reposted ;D)

I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year or longer, and doesn't care.

I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn't care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with books, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things.


If you're a female gamer, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in your profile

If you wish that a fictional character was real, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever yelled at your television because a character or someone you don't like was on copy and paste this into your profile (Trust me, I do it often.)

Count every "F" in the following text:

FINISHED FILES ARE THE RE
SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTI
FIC STUDY COMBINED WITH
THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS...

HOW MANY?

THERE ARE 6 - no joke.
READ IT AGAIN !
Really, go Back and Try to find the 6 F's.

The reasoning behind this is the brain cannot process 'OF' (No kidding... -.-")

Anyone who counts all 6 "F's" on the first go is a genius.
Copy and paste it to your profile!

If you aren't dead yet, copy and paste this into your profile. (But... how will we get rid of this when we die?)

If you think that people should not flame but offer constructive criticism, copy and paste this in your profile. (Seriously people, there is a difference!!)

Many writers don't know the difference between 'your' and 'you're.' If you happen to understand this mundanely ridiculous fact, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you like chocolate, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you dream in color, copy this into your profile.

If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile

If you are in lala land most of the time, copy this onto your profile.

If you are part of the .0000001 percent of people who don't have a MySpace, copy this onto your profile.

If you hunt through people's profiles to find copy and paste things, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are addicted to FanFiction, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have the most RANDOM dreams, copy this. (I once dreamed I was wearing Tetra's clothes while running up and down a playground trying to get away from Ghirahim, who was chasing me :l)

If you've ever copied and pasted something into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bear bating, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery etc.) then copy this into your profile!

If you think that being unique is better than being cool then put this on your profile.

90 of people today would die if Facebook had a system failure and was completely destroyed. If you are one of the 10 that would be laughing, copy and paste this to your profile

If you have authors you respect,copy and paste this to your profile

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If you would stand up for your favourite pairings and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name after mine: Mind Seeker, Dewdrop13, EmpoweredWolfWrath, metasgirl, HorrorFan 101, Eptastic Girl, Link's Rose, The Hero of Time 1998

If you have ever wanted to slap someone, but restrained yourself, congratulations and copy and paste this to your profile.

If you hate child abuse and want it to STOP, copy and past this on your profile.

If you talk to inanimate objects (ex. "WORK, stupid computer!), copy and paste into your profile

If you believe Narnia is real, copy and paste this to your profile, and add your name to the list: Miss Pookamonga, breezybrez, Clear Plastic, narniagirl17 :), fionagurls1301:fictionlover94, horror101, Eptastic Girl, Link's Rose, The Hero of Time 1998

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile. (I call it HYRULE)

Copy and Paste in your profile if you hate stereotypes. (...somewhat.)

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.

I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.

I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.

I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz

I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.

I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.

I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.

I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.

I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.

I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.

I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.

I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.

I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.

I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.

I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.

I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.

I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.

I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.

I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.

I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.

I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.

I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient around a fire screaming like a savage.

I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.

I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.

I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.

I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.

I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.

I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.

I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.

I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.

I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.

I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.

I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".

I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!

I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.

I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.

I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.

I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.

I'm INTO THEATRE & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.

I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.

I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.

I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.

I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.

I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.

I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.

I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.

I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.

I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.

I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.

I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.

I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.

I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.

Im STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.

I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.

I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.

I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.

I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.

I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff.

I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks.

I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7.

I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.

I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.

I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.

I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.

I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA.

I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect.

I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black;

I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.

I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.

I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.

I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.

I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.

I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.

I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.

I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.

I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.

I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon.

I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.

I'm ASEXUAL, so I MUST be a plant.

I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.

I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.

I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.

I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.

I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.

I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.

I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.

I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.

I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.

I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.

I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.

I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.

I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.

My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.

I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.

I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.

I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.

I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE so I MUST be a whore myself.

I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse.

I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.

I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.

I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.

I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.

I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.

I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.

I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant. (Thumbs up for ALFRED!)

I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep.

I'm SCOTTISH so I MUST have ginger hair and wear a skirts

I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.

I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.

I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.

I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.

I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.

I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.

I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.

I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.

I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!

I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.

I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.

I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE.

I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser.

I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy.

I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.

I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.

I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins.

I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan.

I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion.

I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.

I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.

I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.

I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.

I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.

I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.

I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST. (John Key. I don't like him.)

I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick. (Arthur Kirkland gives me lessons, deal with it.)

I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.

I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED.

I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast.

I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish.

I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.

I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.

I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.

I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.

I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroos. (NO)

I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times.

I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.

I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.

I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.

I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.

I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.

I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.

I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.

I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist.

I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake.

I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems.

I like FIRE so I must be an arsonist. (FIIIIIIIIIIRE)

1. Your Nobody name (take all the letters of your first name, mix them around and put an 'x' where you think it should go) : Phiaxles

2. Your Gangsta name (the first three letters of your name plus 'izzle') : Elpizzle

3. Your Detective name (fav. color and fav. animal): Blue Wolf

4. Your Soap Opera name (your middle name and the street you live on) : Tomairangi Eversham

5. Your Star Wars name (first three letters of your last name and first two letters of your first name): Dicel

6. Your Super Hero Name (second fav. color and fav. drink) : Purple Milk

7. Your Arab name(2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms maiden name, 3rd letter of you dads middle name, 1st letter of a siblings first name, last letter of your moms middle name): Lcielti

8. Your Witness Protection name (parents middle name) : Te Aorangi William

9. Your Goth name (black plus the name of one of your pets) : Black Rangi

10. Your Hippie name (type your name with your elbow) : Depbhkias

Akatsukicons!

Pein: @:@

Konan: *-_-

Itachi: */ \*

Deidara: o\/

Zetsu: \o.o/

Tobi: @

Sasori: -.-

Kisame: =0_o=

Hidan: o.o

Kakuzu: $_$

Copy and paste this to your profile to help them take over the world!!


Deidara: Do I ever cross your mind?

Sasori: No.

Deidara: Do you like me?

Sasori: Not really.

Deidara: Do you want me?

Sasori: No.

Deidara: Would you cry if I left?

Sasori: No.

Deidara: Would you live for me?

Sasori: No.

Deidara: Would you do anything for me?

Sasori: No.

Deidara: Choose your life or mine.

Sasori: My life.

Deidara runs away in shock and pain and Sasori runs after him and says:

Sasori: The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind. The reason why I don't like you is because I love you. The reason why I don't want you is because I need you. The reason why I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left. The reason why I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you. The reason why I wouldn't do anything for you is because I would do EVERYTHING for you. The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.

Copy and paste this to your profile if you think that's sweet.

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer to be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling was ipmorantt! tahts so cool! Difelintly.

If you could read this copy and paste it to your profile

Take a stand. Fight for what's right. And keep on speaking out until someone chooses to hear. Spread LOVE not HATE and put a stop to HOMOPHOBIA.

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.

Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it.

If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile.

If you want to learn Japanese, copy/paste this into your profile

If you have ever read past two in the morning, copy this onto your profile

If you are, crazy and insane, put this in your profile.

97% of people would cry if they saw Robert Pattinson standing on a skyscraper, about to jump. If you're one of the 3% who would sit there, eating popcorn and screaming "DO A BACKFLIP!" then copy and paste this as your status

95 of teens would cry if they saw the Jonas Brothers at the top of a skyscraper about to jump. Copy and paste this EVERYWHERE if you are in the 5 that would get some popcorn, get a nice seat, than start chanting "JUMP, JUMP, JUMP"

I OWE MY MOTHER

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going
to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of
the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up,
I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC. " Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and
break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear,
in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something
to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth
and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt
on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA"You'll sit there until all that
spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if
a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told
you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this
world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like
your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY. " There are millions of less
fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16 My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get
home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when
you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing
your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I
know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your
toes, don't come running to me. "

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your
vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do
you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll
understand."

And my favourite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll
have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you."

Isn't it funny that when you go to the shops with your friends you look down at the girl with black jeans and studs but smile at the girl wearing a mini skirt with a t-shirt that barely covers anything?

Isn't it funny you can change your music! taste to impress a guy but when it comes to a girl who likes her own music! and her own style, you give her a mouthful?

ISNT IT FUNNY that a guy can get away with being a gangsta but the emo gets a mouthful from everyone?

Are you laughing?

Isnt it funny how an emo can be quiet all through the week but gets more shit from everyone than the girl who sleeps around and sells her virginity?

ISNT IT FUNNY that you dont mind your friends drinking, smoking but the minute someone mentions emo music! you can give them a lecture on melodramatic teenage outcasts?

Im not laughing!

ITS SO FUNNY that you and your friends can make a girls life hell and not know anything about the silent battle she might be fighting.

ISNT IT FUNNY that you can call the emos, punks and the goths the retards but still manage to get through your day without an inch of guilt in your heart.

ISNT IT FUNNY HOW YOU CAN CALL A GIRL A POSER, HOW CAN YOU SAY "YOURNOTEMO" OR "ATTENTION SEEKER" WITHOUT SPENDING A SECOND TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHY THERE ARE CUTS ON HER WRISTS AND WHY SHE SPENDS HER LUNCHTIMES CRYING INSTEAD OF LAUGHING WITH HER FRIENDS.

KEEP ON LAUGHING!

Isnt it funny you can say and do all this without any idea of what is going on in this persons life

without knowing her situation with her friends

or or her family

or her LIFE

If you're not laughing, copy and paste this into your profile.

BRAVE IS NOT GOING UP ON STAGE AND STRIPPING

BRAVE IS NOT
SAYING A SPEECH

BRAVE IS NOT
DUMPING YOUR BOYFRIEND

BRAVE IS. . .

. . . . . LISTENING TO YOUR OWN MUSIC AND
BEING PROUD OF IT.

KNOWING WHAT YOUR "FRIENDS" ARE SAYING ABOUT YOU AND STILL CALLING THEM YOUR FRIENDS.

GOING THROUGH EVERY DAY WITH THE THINGS PEOPLE SAY TO YOUR FACE AND BEHIND YOUR BACK AND YOU STILL KEEP QUIET.

GOING TO SCHOOL EVERY DAY AND NOT FOR A SECOND CARE WHAT THE WHORES AROUND YOU ARE SAYING ABOUT YOUR CLOTHES.

BRAVE IS KNOWING THAT TOMORROW ISN'T A BRIGHT AND HAPPY FUTURE, ITS ANOTHER DAY OF BITCHING AND DODGING RUMOURS.

KEEP ON LAUGHING.
Put this on your profile if you agree

a short story one would Like to share with you!

The Mushroom Clan and the Dishsoap Clan never got along... Why? Because they were just so different! The Dishsoapians blew bubbles all day while the Mushroom people did... whatever Mushroom people do. One day while the Dishsoapians came together for tea and crumpets, they came up with an idea!To stop the quarrle with the Mushroom people. After the delioushous (that is my own word :D) tea, the Dishsoapians started with their plan.The mayor of the Dishsoapians sent a letter to the Mushroom people mayor a appoligy letter and that they should all get along. The Mushroom Clan leader accepted the appoligy and they lived in peace forever. The End :D

So let me get this straight!

Larry King is getting his 8th divorce.

Liz Taylor is possibly getting married for the 9th time.

Britney Spears had a 55 HOUR marriage.

Jesse James and Tiger Woods are screwing EVERYTHING!

Yet to some the idea of same-sex marriage is going to destroy the institution of Marriage??

Really? REALLY??

Copy and Paste this to your profile if you are …Proud to support equal rights for ALL!

COPY AND PASTE THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE IF YOU SUPPORT GAY RIGHTS! (I don't even call them 'gay', I call them 'people with different taste in love'. ;D ) Seriously Russia! Legalize the damn law already! (I APPLE-O-GIZE TO ANY RUSSIANS THAT I MIGHT HAVE OFFENDED)

I don't care if you're diseased with an incurable sickness, everybody deserves a chance.
I don't care if you're ugly or pretty, everybody has flaws.
I don't care if you're black or white, everybody has the same capabilities.
I don't care if you're weird, everybody needs to change.
I don't care if you're rich or poor, everybody needs warmth.
I don't care if you're different, everybody is.
Repost this if you agree with it.

LEARN CHINESE IN 5 MINUTES
Say the words out loud.
1) That's not right... ...Sum Ting Wong
2) Are you harboring a fugitive? ...Hu Yu Hai Ding
3) See me ASAP... ...Kum Hia Nao
4) Stupid Man... ... Dum Fuk
5) Small Horse... ...Tai Ni Po Ni
6) Did you go to the Beach?...Wai Yu So Tan
7) I bumped into a coffee table...Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni
8) I think you need a face lift...Chin Tu Fat
9) It's very dark in here...Wao So Dim
10) I thought you were on a diet...Wai Yu Mun Ching
11) This is a tow away zone...,No Pah King
12) Our meeting is next week...Wai Yu Kum Nao
13) Staying out of sight...Le i Ying Lo
14) He's cleaning his automobile...Wa Shing Ka
15) Your body odor is offensive...Yu Stin Ki Pu
16) Great... ...Fa Kin Su Pah

North Italy (Feliciano/Veneciano Vargas)

(X) You were bullied a lot in your childhood
(X) You adore pasta, pizza, cheese, and fruit.
(X) You're very happy-go-lucky
(X) You constantly have a dozy look on your face as if you're always away with the fairies
(X) You have a long curly strand of hair that always tends to stick up
(X) You're a good artist
(X)You can be clumsy
(X) You have a friend you always depend upon if you mess up something
() If your life was in danger, you would do the typical Italian thing and say: "PLEASE DON'T KILL ME! I HAVE RELATIVES IN YOUR COUNTRY!"
(X) You would surrender in a war situation

9/10 for Italy (Ve -)

South Italy (Lovino/Romano Vargas)

() You love tomatoes
(X) You tend to say "goddamn" and "bastard" to everyone, a lot
(X) You tend to get irritated easily
(X) You have a long curly strand of hair that always tends to stick out
() You hate French people
(X) You rely on people too much
(X) You would surrender in a war situation
(X) You often feel like people are after your inheritance
(X) You are lazy at times, and you are horrible at cleaning

8/10 for Romano (BASTARD)

Germany (Ludwig)

(X) You're very stoic and serious
() Sausages are your favourite foods.
() You like to walk dogs/your dog
() Your boss/principal/tutor/home-room teacher is a nut-case. (My mother is a nut-case...does that count?)
()You love rules and think they should always be followed to (NO)
() You think the world would be better if everyone played by the rules
()You work very hard, too hard...
(X) Your alone time is your 'happy time'
(X) You can appear tough but be very considerate towards people
(X) You've had issues with money once or twice

4/10 for Germany (EVERYONE SHUT UP!)

Japan (Kiku Honda)

(X) You're very mature
()You think everything over before saying it.
(X) You believe in ghosts but aren't phased by the experience when you see one
() You isolated yourself during childhood
() You became very successful in a short amount of time
(X) You are somewhat inexperienced when it comes to the outside world
(X) You can seem cold/aloof to other people
(X) You're good at practical tasks
() You need time to adjust to new people

5/10 for Japan (I agree with America)

The United States of America (Alfred F. Jones)

(X) You love hamburgers
() You think you're awesome (Whuh...?)
(X) You love to invent things
(X) You love going to the cinema/watching films/making films
()You can seem to be very brash to other people
(X) You have a tendency to stick your nose into other peoples' business
() You're terrified of ghosts
(X) You know aliens exist
() You tend to wear a bomber jacket all the time
(X) You wear glasses

6/10 for America (I'm the hero!)

The United Kingdom of England, Wales, Scotland, and Northern Ireland (Arthur Kirkland)

(X) You like tea
(X) You were quite tough and troublesome as a kid
(X)You're very sarcastic and cynical
(X) Your cooking is awful
(X) You love spiritual magical stuff, such as fairies, ghosts...
()...But you refuse to believe in aliens.
(X) You have tried doing black magic before
() You get drunk quite easily.
() When you are drunk, you tend to be very unhappy
() You're good at embroidery

6/10 for England (FLYING MINT BUNNEHZ)

France (Francis Bonnefoy)

(X) You're very affectionate
() You think you have a great fashion sense
() You like wine
() You're the master of whispering romantic things into peoples' ears
(X) You love red roses
(X) When it comes to l'amour, you don't mind men or women
() You're very proud of yourself
(X) You love culture and the arts
(X) You're very flamboyant
() You say you're a gourmet

5/10 for France (ohonhonhonhonhon)

Russia (Ivan Braginski)

(X) You had a very sad childhood.
(X) You're very tall
(X) You have a tendency to switch between personalities
(X) You wear a scarf all the time (even on hot days XD)
() You love sunflowers
()You love vodka
(X) You can seem intimidating to other people
(X) You're very strong
(X) You have a big nose
(X) You have a strange laugh that can scare people

8/10 for Russia (Become one with mother Russia, da?)

China (Wong Yao)

(X) You're very mature
() You're very superstitious
() You're very religious
() You love pandas
() You love cooking so much that you nag if food has a certain pattern of tastes
() You love Hello Kitty
(X) You try to be a role-model for your brothers/sisters/whatever, but are never taken seriously.
() You work hard
(X) You're good at drawing
(X) You like sweets

4/10 for China (Aru)

Austria (Roderich Edelstein)

(X) You are very well-raised
() You're polite
() You love classical music
(X) You like cake
() You have a mole on your face
(X) You dedicate your time to your hobbies rather than what needs to be done right away
(X) You are a virtuoso/play very well on at least one instrument
(X) You've composed music before
(X) You tend to call people 'morons'
(X) You wear glasses

7/10 for Austria (Chibitalia...is a BOY?!)

Canada (Matthew Williams)

(X) You're often ignored by people
() You look younger than you actually are
(X) You love hockey
() You love polar bears
(X) You hate fighting
(X)You have one strand of curly hair, like Italy
(X) You often get mistaken for someone else
(X) You feel under-appreciated
(X) You're bilingual
() You always carry a bear with you

7/10 for Canada (I-I'm...not America...)

Cuba

() You smoke
(X) You're very physically strong
() You've won a lot of fist-fights
() In your social circle, there are two brothers - you get along with one, but not with the other.
(X) You have very strong emotions about a variety of topics
(X) You like hot weather
(X) You can be very friendly from time to time
() You look very tough on the outside
(X) You make a very nice role-model
() You don't let people get a word in edgeways

5/10 for Cuba

Hungary (Erszebet Hédeváry)

(X) You have a potty-mouth
()You like to wear flowers in your hair
(X) You used to be a very tough kid
(X) You're very reliable
(X) It's better to have you as a friend rather than an enemy (MUCH better...)
(X) You're very faithful
(X) Your speech and mannerisms can be considered very unladylike
(X) You and your best friend go together like chalk and cheese.
(X) You are graceful one moment and grinning like a maniac the next
(X) If someone yells that yaoi is going on somewhere, you will drop everything to run off to go and see it.

9/10 for Hungary (Frying pans! Who knew, right?)

Prussia (Gilbert Weillschmidt)

() You're quite mean-spirited
(X) You're a bit of a hooligan
(X) You're very loyal
() You're very good at tactics
() You hate Russia
() You love to fight people
(X) You can avoid marriages quite well
(X) You're not always taken seriously
()You like drinking
(X) You want to become stronger

5/10 for Prussia (KESESESESESESE!)

I'M HUNGARY YEAH!

And...You know you’re obsessed with Hetalia when… (Not by me...)
[x] When you wonder why the polar bear at the zoo isn’t talking to you
[x] When your teacher questions you when you constantly squeal during History class
] When you scream “Happy Birthday Alfred” and/or “Take that Arthur” on the Fourth of July in a large crowd of people and are proud when they give you the WTF look
[x] When you know what Sealand is and people find you weird for telling them he’s a little kid in a blue sailor suit that was for sale on eBay
[x] When you laugh if a country’s“vital regions” are discussed in the news/media
[x] When you question why only a few countries use Japanese as the foremost language
[x] When in a conversation about APH, you specifically use both country and human names to confuse the people around you
[x] (the obvious) When you ask, no, COMMAND people to become one with mother Russia and laugh hysterically when they look confused, telling them “everyone eventually becomes one with Russia” before walking away
] When you walk into a Hello Kitty store and ask where the Shinatty-Chan merchandise is
[x] When you take time out of your day to look up country relationships on Wikipedia
] When you begin to notice all the jokes about China
] When you try to make your own “idiot hair” and use two bottles of hair gel in the process (I don't need to; my hair already sticks out)
[x] When the Great Depression all of a sudden seem hilarious. “Your ass is MINE, America!”
[x] When you correct someone talking about a new discovery of some kind, telling them “Korea already invented that”
[x] When you have to remind people that Hong Kong is NOT the capital of China
[x] When you explain that when the aliens attack, the first to go will be the British
[x] When your grade in Geography suddenly shoots up
[x] When others ask you what you mean by “England is so cute when he’s Tsundere”
[x] When you find yourself thinking of the best conversation you’ve ever heard:
Italy: France nii-san, what is intercourse?
France: Don’t you know, Ita-chan? It’s what you do with someone you like. So…do you like me?
[x] When you correct your history teacher, telling them that the pact of steal between Germany and Italy was actually a pinky swear
[x] When seeing the new Harry Potter movie the second time, the only thing you can think of is the infamous spoiler written all over England’s torso
[x] When the contagious verbal tics of the show become a part of your normal day conversations
[x] When you have full-out and vicious debates on what side (the Axis or Allies) would win in a fist fight
[x] When you imagine, when in a state of insane exhilaration or any kind of insanity emotion, you have the same menacing purple aura that often haunts Russia when he’s “happy”
[x] When you realize you’ve memorized every single version of MaruKaite Chikyuu and sing them regularly (OMFG YOU HAVE NO IDEA XD)
[x] When you find yourself scanning through your history textbook to find a good fanfiction topic
[x] When you feel yourself tearing-up while discussing the American Revolution
[x] When you start learning Japanese just to read the Hetalia website
[x] When you expect the Polish exchange student to be a cross-dressing valley girl
] When you download your favorite episodes and watch them compulsively
[x] When you randomly scream “PASTA” and think everyone around you is weird for not getting the joke
[x] When a tomato crate seems like the best hiding place during a war
] When you know the songs “Fat na kare”, “Oyayubi no Tsukaikata”, “Makka na Ito”, “Yokan”, “Gibusu”, “Lion”, “Tetsukazu No Sekai” and “Utsukushii Namae”, have downloaded them onto your itunes and listen to them daily
[x] When “True Italian Spirit” is only another way to say “We Surrender”
] When the song “Santa Clause is coming to Town” seems like an odd rip-off of something that was written for Russia
[x] When you try to convince your history teacher to play Chibitalia episodes when learning about the Austrian Wars
[x] When, upon looking at your Youtube favorites, you find that APH videos have filled up at least two pages of space
[x] When you begin to read all about your favorite country obsessively to learn more about them
] When you start noticing how much you absolutely adore sunflowers
[x] When you realize there’s always someone underneath the cute mascot uniforms
] When you discover the joys of the Sexy Waiter outfit
] When you explain to others that condoms are the best weapons in psychological warfare
[x] When others find you odd for talking to the fairies, flying rabbits and unicorns even if they’re the odd ones out for not being able to see them in the first place
[x] When you decided to construct your own APH OC and proudly proclaim to the world that you were the one who created Ireland
[x] When you want your own pink kitty backpack
] When “Flower-Egg” seems like the best name for your new puppy
] When England wearing America’s jacket is probably one of the best things that’s ever happened to you
[x] When, upon being scolded by a teacher when caught watching/reading APH in class, you explain that you're merely studying for you History exam
[x] When you watch movies/plays/musicals/etc., place APH characters in the roles and plan you're parody fanfiction of it
] When you try and memorize the "Yakko's World" song just because you can imagine the countries while singing it
[x] When you don't feel like a nerd for knowing so much about history/geography
[x] When you find yourself attracted to bushy eyebrows, even thinking them sexy
[x] When, if something big happens in the world, you imagine the countries' reactions
[x] When, upon acting/cosplaying as Italy, you close your eyes and keep them closed to see if you can really function that way, only to realise that you can't
[x] When you try to plant random bits of Hetalia into your schoolwork, and marvel at the fact that you're the only one that knows what you're talking about
[x] When you wish your grandfather could be as awesome as Rome
[x] When the sound of bouncing beachballs (Ukraine's boobs) is now disturbing to you
[x] When you use you're favorite/cosplayed country's name in place of your own
] When watching South Park, you find great embaressment in the fact that you're composing your own episode in which the APH characters are present
[x] When you explain to your Geography teacher that Corsica isn't an island; it's Italy's nipple.
[x] When you find yourself doodling your history notes into a Hetalia-like situation, much to your teacher's dismay (ex: Spanish-American war for a Hetalia fan = Cuba getting pissed at Antonio and Alfred beating Antonio up before giving him a few bucks and skipping away).
[x] When You find the song "Canada's Really Big" or any other references to country's sizes amusingly inappropriate
] When Shinatty-chan becomes a frequent doodle on your notebook and you have to explain that it is not hello kitty, but a fat, old guy in a hello kitty imitation outfit
[x] When you spout random facts about various countries and revel in the fact that no one else knows about them
[x] When you find yourself suddenly a lot more aware of the current world situations because people did fanfictions and fanart about them
[x] When you start laughing at a world map because it's really more than just a placement of countries to you (A.K.A Canada and America)
[x] When you have a French exchange student, and you expect them to be just like France... and are fascinated that, yes they are
[x] You spend all day scouring the internet for country relations in a vain attempt to justify your crack pairings
[x] When you suddenly take great pleasure in learning about your lineage and relating it to Hetalia characters
[x] When you start assigning your best friends countries and when you get together you call it a "World Conference"
[x] When said friends start forming the pairings you support
[x] When you bribe your friend to say "Aru" at the end of every sentence
[x] When you know about more countries than your geography teacher
[x] When you start squealing in geography class
[x] When in history class you start making what you're learning about into a hetalia episode in your head
[x] When you obsessively search Hetalia MADs on Youtube and are confident you know most of them off by heart
[x] When suddenly the image of America is no longer of Uncle Sam or Lady Liberty in your head.
[x] When you start thinking of the people who represent the nations instead of the places in reality.
[x] When you see a book in the store called 'Your Erogeous Zones' and automatically touch (or want to touch) your hair.
[x] When you're following through with the you know/when #10, find something on Spain before and during WW2, and unconsciously replace 'its' with 'his'
] When Charlie the Unicorn is tainted for life, thanks to England
[x] When you start chanting "kolkolkol" when someone annoys/angers you.
[x] When you're shocked that all the Ukrainian girls you see haven't fallen over yet due to figure misproportions.
[x] When you feel the need to violently mash your potatoes with a fork no matter what state they may be in.
[x] When you spend half a day constructing a “You Know you’re Obsessed with Hetalia when…”

If your profile is long, copy and paste to make it longer!

You're a true Yaoi fangirl/boy if you have/think/done/wrote/ect.

1) Will read any type of yaoi!

2) if your parents have found out what the hell it is...

3) tried to make an ecuse that you do not like gay porn :D

4) will pair up guys in your class

5) have attempted/tried/thought up/wrote a yaoi lemon...

6) wish there was more yaoi fans around the world!

7)Love a couple so much you wish you could meet them!

repost this and add more if you dare >:D

A Flame Poem-By Meta Knight LOVER

Don't you understand?
There's someone behind the pen name,
who wrote this with their own hand,
and who worked so hard to finish.
But they made a mistake,
after all no one is perfect,
but they gave you headache,
now you have to tell them
how horrible they did.
You could give it to them
like a simple suggestion,
but you're not like that,
you are strong and uncaring,
so a flame they shall get!

Meanwhile, the sweet young author,
who has been out for awhile,
sees they've been reviewed.
At first they are hopeful,
until they read it,
then they become mournful.
A tear is spotted
from the corner of their eye
and they hope
that this is just a lie.
But deep down inside,
they know it isn't
and they feel the need to hide,
so they delete the story.
All that hard work, gone.
Congrats to you,
you just had to say what's wrong.

(mean poem dude ;D)

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys don't want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree.

REMEMBER WHEN...

getting HIGH meant swinging at the playground?

the worst thing you could get from boys was c0oties?

'm 0 m' (was your hero)

and 'D a D' was the boy you were gonna marry?

and your WORST ENEMIES were your siblings

and race issues were about who ran the fastest?

when-WAR-was a card game

and life was simple and carefree?

remember when all you wanted to do

WAS GROW UP?

Put this in your profile if you're still 5 inside...no matter how old you are.

Stop the Pairing Wars!
By copying and pasting this onto my profile, I vow to respect other pairings and the people who like them.
1) 'I will not insult the authors, explain why the characters cannot be together, or say that they would rather be with someone else.'
2) 'I will give my opinions but will not insult pairings.'
3) 'I will avoid reading about pairings if I hate them.'
4) 'I will keep an open mind about stories even if I despise the pairing.'
If you agree then you will paste this onto your profile.

If you don't do drugs (I do video games XD), copy/paste this into your profile.

If you want a game/cartoon/anime/OC character to be real, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you think you might be slightly psychotic, copy this on your profile

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, post this in your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile

YOUR GUY SIDE:

You love hoodies.
You love jeans.
Dogs are better than cats.
It's hilarious when people get hurt.
You've played with/against boys on a team.
Shopping is torture.
Sad movies suck.
You own/ed an X-Box.
Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid.
At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
You own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega.
You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.
You watch sports on TV.
Gory movies are cool
You go to your dad for advice.
You own like a trillion baseball caps.
You like going to high school football games.
You used to/do collect football/baseball cards.
Baggy pants are cool to wear.
It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors.
You love to go crazy and not care what people think.
Sports are fun.
Talk with food in your mouth.
Sleep with your socks on at night


Total: 17

YOUR GIRL SIDE:

You wear lip gloss/stick.

You love to shop.

You wear eyeliner.

You wear the color pink

Go to your mom for advice.
You consider cheerleading a sport.
You hate wearing the color black.
You like hanging out at the mall.
You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
You like wearing jewelry.
Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.
Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
You don't like the movie Star Wars. (I like Star Trek though...)
You were in gymnastics/dance.
It takes you around/ more one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up.
You smile a lot more than you should.
You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
You care about what you look like.
You like wearing dresses when you can.
You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne.
You love the movies.
Used to play with dolls as little kid.
Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy/joke of it.
Like being the star of every thing

Total: 6

99.5 of teenagers don't understand that love can be used non-romantically. If you are the .5 that knows love has a romantic and only-friendly meaning, copy and paste it into your profile. (SPREAD THE BRO-LOVE!)

98 percent of teenagers drink or have been around alcohol, put this in your profile if you like MUFFINS!

If you are a Nintendo fan to your very core, copy and paste this into your profile..

If you ever thought about what your moves would be in Super Smash Bros Brawl, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name: The Hero of Time 1998

If you love animals, copy and paste this into your profile

If you probably need a life but have no intentions of getting one, put it on your profile.

If there are characters on a certain show (no need to mention names) that you HATE BEYOND ALL REASON... copy and paste this into your profile.

If you would love someone because of their personality but not because of their looks, put this in your profile.

94% of teens would freak out if Justin Bieber was standing on a 1,000 ft building threatening to kill himself. Copy this to your profile if you're a part of the 6% who brought popcorn, a lawn chair, and are yelling, "JUMP B*TCH, JUMP!"

If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile!

If you ever started laughing for no reason then copy and paste this to your profile

If you have ever been at full health in a video game and then died for no reason copy and paste this to your profile. (Me: *playing Skyward Sword* DAMN YOU THE IMPRISONED!)

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, copy this into your profile

If you've ever tripped over your own feet, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid and obvious question, copy this into your profile.

I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random (Or can be at times) and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

If you've been on the computer for hours on end and read numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: danyan, zElDaPhAnToM-bLiNdBaNdIt-RaVeN, Firehawk, Rainfire, Snowfur, Firestar's Gal, Ravenstar-of-ShodowClan, HeartBeatFailure-x, animatedrose, Leafeonlover, MitzvahRose, Kayla Edwards, Zelda maniac, The Hero of Time 1998

If you've ever read past two in the morning, copy this into your profile

If you hear voices of characters in your head...copy and paste this on you're profile.

If you want to copy this to your profile, you know what to do.

If you ever walked into the wrong classroom, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever wished you could talk to animals or be an animal, copy and paste this into your profile.

If there are times when you just want to annoy someone for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy this into your profile.

95% of the kids out there are concerned with being popular or fitting in. If you are part of the 5% who aren't, copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactively Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Tsuyu Mikazuki, WeaselChick, RitzCrackerKitty, WindOfDancingFlames, Jinzouningen Kitchi, animatedrose, Leafeonlover, MitzvahRose, Kayla Edwards, Zelda maniac, The Hero of Time 1998

If you and/or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile.

If you have a tendency to talk to yourself, copy this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction, copy this into your profile.

If Fanfiction.net is to you like MySpace.com is to other people, copy this into your profile. (What is this MySpace you speak of? It sounds very strange and foreign...)

If you have ever stopped what you were doing to do something else and totally forgot what it was, copy this into your profile.

92 percent of the teenage population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch said it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. Put this in your profile if you're part of the 8 percent that would be laughing their ass off.

IMPORTANT- Teenage girls who are NOT in love with Robert Pattison or Taylor Launter are fast becoming an endangered species. If you are part of this endangered species, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you hug cute toys when no one's looking, paste this to your profile and add your name. AlukaKaiserin (i love my fox...), rubyqueen808 (give me a break, i've had Little Kitty since I was born!)Johan's Lover43v3r (I always hug my bunny plushy) Animehime20 (My stuffed seal I've had since I was 1) serina-phantom (My seal XD) AnimeCat92 (I LOVE my kangaroo plushie!) Leafeonlover (I have a pikachu plushie which I love YaY and a teddy I've had forever), MitzvahRose (Stuffies need love too!), Kayla Edwards (Geez, how many stuffed animals do I have? At least thirty), Zelda maniac (I sometimes hug my brown bear when I get scared- then I feel 5 again -_-), The Hero of Time 1998 (I have this rabbit that I call 'March Hare'... it's been in my life for years)

If you are obsessed with fanfiction and/or fictionpress, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile.

If you laugh at inappropriate moments, CAPTIYP.

If you're against racism, prejudice, discrimination, or even stereotype, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

99.5 percent of teenagers and kids have a Facebook and are literally addicted; if you are the 0.5 who thinks Facebook is a dumb way to make friends, relationships, etc. post this onto your profile.

If you believe in heaven, copy and paste this into your profile. (I believe in Valhalla...is that the same thing?)

SAVE THE RAINFOREST! IF YOU AGREE COPY AND PASTE THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE! REMEMBER, NO TREES = NO OXYGEN!

Save the Planet! It's the only one with anime, puppies and kittens! And CHOCOLATE! If you agree, CAPTIYP!!

If you like to read what people put in their profiles, and you like Copy & Paste stuff, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think it's stupid that girls are automatically labelled with the colour pink, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you want child abuse to STOP, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever changing obsessions, copy and paste this to your profile.

If your profile is way too long, copy and paste this into it to make it even longer!

If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself/someone else, copy this into your profile.

MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Driving) If your against Drinking and Driving, Copy and Paste this to your Profile

If you have ever gone into a room to get something and completely forgot what you were doing, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever read started to read a chapter in a fanfiction, got side-tracked, and forgot to review and realized it after the author posted another chapter, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile

If you like animals, give one a home if you can. If you already have or can't but want to spread the word, copy this onto your profile.

If you have ever burned any sort of food in the microwave, oven, toaster, or on the stove, copy this into your profile.

98% of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you are one of the 2% who haven't, copy this into your profile.

Too many people have smoked marijuana. If you haven't, copy this into your profile.

I do not do drugs. I do sugar. If you're someone who does sugar, copy this into your profile.

Too many kids and teenagers have smoked or tried marijuana. If you haven't, copy and paste this onto your profile.

-If you hate drugs, copy and paste this into your profile

My name is Nora

and I'm seventeen,

I am on drugs

and cannot clearly see

Because of this

my grades in school have dropped.

I am very drunk,

Sometimes I'm beaten up

by some street punk.

There are so many rules

I've tried not to break,

But I am so drunk

that I can't stand up straight. I am so drunk,

Most of the time I cannot talk.

Maybe if my parents trusted me,

they would let me hold a car key.

One night I was out walking around

But there was a sound

and then I saw a man who didn't want me in town.

The man was holding a gun,

He was not as bright

He was like an Earth without a sun.

My name is Nora

I am seventeen, and tonight a man

murdered me.

Remember: Say NO to drugs! Drug Abuse is very dangerous, so help make it stop. If you care at all about stopping Drug Abuse copy the poem and add your name to this list: Ice The Angel, Tiger Mew Mew,Jessica01, Kitsunelover300, Flying Dragonite. LeafeonLover, MitzvahRose, Kayla Edwards, Zelda maniac, The Hero of Time

ZELDA MANIAC'S "Legend of Zelda interviews" poem

Hai Maniac's the name

And this interview isn't the same

My assistant was Link,

But he fell into a sink -_-

Demon is my other assistant besides Link

Who is still stuck in a sink -_-

Kayla, Demon, Shadow, daisy oh my!

Time really dose fly by ;)

There will be hater- tots :D

Still, they might just be robots :\

Even though im a preteen,

I make stuff no one else had seen :'D

When people laugh and love this it makes me happy

Now im starting to sound sappy

One day,

just gonna say,

I will say bye...

and time sure does fly :')

Maniac is my name

and my interviews will never be the same...

IF YOU LIKE THIS RANDOM YET TOUCHING POEM, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE AND ADD YOU NAME AND COMMENT TO DA LIST

Zelda maniac: xD I never got Link out of the sink...

Zelda Maniac posts the FUNNIEST stories; if you have a sense of humour, go check 'em out!

Fake friends: Will look at you like your a freak when you shout "I LOVE (crushes name goes here)!"

Real friends: will shout it with you.

Fake friends: will never ask for anything.

Real friends: will shout "GIMME!"

Fake friends: will be polite to your parents.

Real friends: will call them Mum and Dad.

Fake friends: will say, "here have my drink." If you spill yours or want another drink.

Real friends: will give you a horrified look, saying: "WHAT?! I'll never give up my precious lemonade to the likes of you!"

Fake friends: will cheer you up when you boyfriend has broken up with you.

Real friends: will walk over to him and say, "If you don't apologise right now you will wish you never dumped her."

Fake friends: will come to your house for a sleepover three times every year.

Real friends: will come to your house on a random day and shout, "TIME FOR THE PARTY!"

Fake friends: will help you clean up a mess you made.

Real friends: will be lounging around on an armchair, drinking lemonade, saying: "Clean faster, your mom's almost home."

Fake friends: will bail you out of jail.

Real friends: will be sitting in the cell next to your's and shout, "That was AWESOME! Let's do it again!"

Fake friends: will ignore this.

Real friends: Will copy and paste this onto their profile.

Fake friends: Say "You look so pretty"

Real friends: Says "Come on we got a LOT of shopping to do!"

Fake friends: Tell you to ignore your enemy

Real friends: Walk up to the enemy and say, "HEY BITCH!" and punches them in the face.

Fake friends: Share you their food

Real friends: Are the reason you have no food

Fake friends: Knocks on your door

Real friends: Walk in and say HEY FAMILY!

Fake friends: returns your stuff

Real friends: Forgets that it belongs to you

Fake friends: Will never tell your crush that you like him/her

Real friends: Grabs a megaphone and yells "HEY (Crushes name), (Your name) LOVES YOU!" (Psh I never do that... or would I?)

FAKE FRIENDS: Never seen you cry.

REAL FRIENDS: Kick the sorry butt of whatever made you cry. (Mhm that's what I do!)

FAKE FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.

REAL FRIENDS: Can write a book about you, with direct quotes from you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Are for awhile.

REAL FRIENDS: Are for life.

XD IM PART FAKE AND PART REAL

The white man said, "Coloured people are not allowed here."

The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...

when I was born I was BLACK,

When I grew up I was BLACK,

When I'm sick I'm BLACK,

When I go in the sun I'm BLACK,

When I'm cold I'm BLACK,

When I die I'll be BLACK.

But you sir,

When you're born you're PINK,

When you grow up you're WHITE,

When you're sick, you're GREEN,

When you go in the sun you turn RED,

When you're cold you turn BLUE,

And when you die you turn PURPLE.

And you have the nerve to call me coloured?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...

Post this on your profile if you hate racism. Do your part to stop it!

This is the stupidity test! 100 stupid things that people do! Bold the ones that you have done!

1. Forgot to put the lid on the blender, turned it on, and had everything fly out

2. Gotten your head stuck between the stair rails (Damn it was embarrassing)

3. Broken a chair by leaning back in it (fallen out of a chair this way though...)

4. Had gum fall out of your mouth while you were talking

5. Choked on your own spit while you were talking

6. Had people tell you that you are blonde when you're not/or had people tell you that your blonde highlights are going to your head

7. Been caught staring at your crush by your crush him/herself

8. Have looked for something for at least 10 min then realized it was in your hand

9. Tried to push open a door that said pull

10. Tried to pull open a door that said push

11. Have actually believed someone when they said that they knew how to make a love potion

12. Have hit yourself in the process of trying to hit something else

14. Have actually exploded marshmallows in the microwave (No, but I wanna TRY it!)

15. Have gotten gum stuck in your hair

16. Had gum fall out of your mouth while trying to blow a bubble

17. Have had the juice from a mini tomato squirt out and hit somebody else when you bit into it

18. Have had your drink come out your nose because you were laughing so hard (Only a small trickle!)

19. Have called one of your good friends by the wrong name

20. Have skinned your toe because you were playing soccer or kickball with flip flops on or you were barefoot

21. Have put a sticker on your forehead, forgot it was there, and went out in public with it on

22. Have fallen out of a moving vehicle.

23. Have run into a closed door

24. Have almost shot someone with a real gun while trying to shoot something else

25. Searched for your cell phone while you were talking on it

26. It has taken you longer than 5 min to get a joke

27. Have gotten your hair stuck in a blow dryer

28. Have gotten your hair stuck in a fan

9. Tripped on a crack in the sidewalk

30. Said o'clock after saying how many min after the hour, example: 5:30 o'clock, or 6:15 o'clock

31. After someone told you that there was gum on the ground, you stepped in it

32. Put on a white shirt even though you already knew it was raining outside

33. Have ever walked up to a stranger because you thought they were someone else

34. Ever been kicked out of a grocery store off their property

35. Touched the stove, the curling iron, a hot pan, etc. on purpose even though you knew it was hot

36. Picked out your change of clothes, took off the ones you had on and then accidentally put the old clothes back on

37. Wondered why something wasn't working then realized it wasn't plugged in

38. Put the cereal in the fridge, or put the milk in the cupboard

39. Walked into a pole

40. Wore two different earrings or shoes by accident

41. Put your shirt on backwards/inside-out without realizing it then left your house

42. Tried to take a picture of your/someone's eye with the flash on

43. Gotten a ring stuck on your finger because you put it on even though you knew it was too small

44. Walked out of the bathroom with toilet paper stuck to your shoe without realizing it.

45. Went to go do something/go get something, then when you got there forgot what is was that you were going to do.

46. Picked up someone else's drink and drank out of it by accident when your drink was right next to it (dipped a cookie into my sis's drink XD)

47. Fallen out of your chair while trying to pick something up

48. Have poked yourself in the eye (NOT on purpose!)

49. Have gotten in the shower with your socks still on

50. Melted your hairbrush while blow drying your hair

51. Have done enough stupid things to make a test

52. Have accidentally stabbed yourself with a pencil

53. Have sung the wrong verse to a song without realizing it

54. Have given an odd answer to a question because you didn't hear the question in the first place and didn't feel like asking what it was.

55. Told someone you were the wrong age because you seriously forgot how old you were

56. Looked into an overhead light purposely while it was on

57. Got up early and got ready for school/work/meeting, then realized that you didn't have school/work/meeting that day.

58. Have tripped on a cord after someone told you to watch out for it

60. Have ever laughed at a joke or movie that no one else thought was funny

61. Done the Macarena to the electric slide or vice versa

62. Said funner, then had someone make fun of you for it

63. Have repeated yourself at least twice in the same sentence

64. Brought up an inside joke with the wrong person

65. Didn't do the backside of an assignment because you thought that there wasn't one or because you had already looked and forgot that there was another side

66. Did more work than you had to on an assignment because you didn't read the directions

67. Corrected someone's grammar/pronunciation then figured out that you were the one that was wrong (I mixed up Alicia Keys and Beyonce once...)

68. Put something in a special place so that you would remember where it was, then forgot where you put it

69. Put ice in your drink after the glass was full of liquid and had it splash out.

70. Told a lie then forgot what it was that you had said and got caught

71. When wearing goggles, you pulled them away from your face and let go so that they would come back and snap you in the face

72. Forgot to make sure that the lamp was off before you replaced the light bulb

73. Ran into a door jamb

74. Told someone that you hardly ever do stupid things, then immediately did/said something stupid

75. Told someone to watch out for something, then you were the one that ran into it

76. Have purposely licked playground sand

77. Have purposely and repeatedly flicked yourself with a rubber band

78. Gotten so hyper that someone actually thought you were drunk when you weren't

79. Have been so hyper you actually scared people (this is everyday me)

80. Put duct tape on your body then pulled it off to see if it would pull your hairs out

81. Put duct tape on your hair/someone else's hair then pulled it off

82. Put a clothes pin/hair clip on your lip, figured out that it hurt, then did it again

83. Sat and wondered why men’s dress shirts have a loop on the back

84. Made up a code name for someone so that you could talk about them to someone else and no one else would know who you were talking about

85. Have gotten a hairbrush stuck in your hair

86. Used the straw to blow the straw wrapper at someone

87. Shaved your tongue because you thought your taste buds looked weird (WTF?!)

88. When at a restaurant/cafeteria, you used your spoon to fling stuff at people

89. Have flung forks at people in a restaurant/cafeteria.

90. Sucked on a cup and got a hickey from it.

91. As you were writing, you moved your head back and forth with your pen/pencil

92. Have drawn finger puppets on your fingers then named them

93. Have wrapped someone in a roll of toilet paper

94. Have used somebody else's toothbrush without even realizing it wasn't yours

95. Started telling a story and forget what you were talking about or what happened in the story

96. When you saw a ‘beware of dog’ sign, you told the owners to beware of the dogs not realizing they owned the dogs

97. You have spelled your own name wrong before

98. When lying in bed you look for pictures in the texture of the ceiling

99. Have used your calculator as a form of communication in class

100. Have popped a balloon in your mouth

LOL SUPER LONG PROFILE DON'T CHA THINK?

After reading a whole bunch of profiles, if you have noticed all the people you would rather be friends with are across the world from you, put this in your profile

To all you idiotic, greedy rich people out there that still think 1 plus 1 equals 5 is true...

You have more dollars than sense.

C&P if you got what I meant! (try saying it aloud)

TRUE STORY

once there was a girl.

she was not very strong and cried at the tiny things.

she had was fatter than the other kids

she was a hopeless romantic.

she had very few friends.

and...

she was bullied from kindergarten to 7th grade.

even after the bullies left, the girl would cry.

fat, ugly, weird, no one wants you,

the insults rang in her head.

she.

wanted.

to.

die.

one day she had enough.

she went to her bathroom and that night went to sleep with a stinging wrist.


dont hate on fat kids! for all you know they could be:

Fun to be around

Awesome to be around

Totally wanting to be your friend!

just cause were larger around our middle dosent mean we dont have ears. we here all the insults you throw at us.

were not fat were plump!

if your like me and plump and proud then copy this in your profile

if your actually a DECENT PERSON who feels bad for the plump people in the world then copy and paste this on your profile.

FANFICTION- UNITED NATIONS! Has anyone else noticed how a lot of us get along and make friends on here and we can be from completely different countries? We're here making world peace on the INTERNET and we have all those ambassadors and senators and whatever struggling with it! If you realize this (or read this and agreed) copy and paste this and add your name and country (country is optional) to the list. SPREAD THE PEACE!: Naruto-fan-Okami-chan (USA), DGMSilverAirHead03(USA), Crystal Amethyst (Armenia), InoueR0xO (Pakistan), poohxebony (USA), DreamingInThePast (Spain), loves2readandwrite (USA), SeaDevil (Sweden), Vampgal212 (U.K.), Verdigurl ( New Zealand), Animerockchic (Republic of Ireland), Momoka64 (USA), Ve Kuraresa Bleach (USA), AFleetingPhantom (U.K.), EpicHeroLaugh(USA), Fruity-Dragonfly (USA), 9foxgrl (USA), crazy YinYang writer7 (USA), HetaFruitsOuranHp321(U.S.A.), FrUkMintBunny(USA), The Hero of Time 1998 (NEW ZEALAAAAAAND!!)

Questions:
Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have an 's' in it?
If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?
Isn't Disneyland just a people trap operated by a mouse?
Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?
Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in 'mother in law', they come out to 'Woman Hitler'?
Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning many, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures'?

Why is it when some products you have to turn upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn down?
If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots?
If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is from vegetables, where do we get baby oil from?
If rabbits' feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit?

REASONS TO JOIN THE DARK SIDE (If you wish to join add this list to your profile):
1. We have cookies (last I checked there was hot chocolate too)
2. Meet the recruitment bunny!
3. You get a cool dark cape that covers your whole body!
4. You get a really cool crazy laugh! Practice with me, people: MWA HAHAHAHA cough cough!
5. You get to walk out of shadows mysteriously and freak out the good guys!
6. One word: UNDERLINGS! Someone to get things for you when you're too lazy to do them yourself... Now that's the life!
7. Money, Money, Money : Ever notice that we are usually much richer than the good guys?
8. WORLD DOMINATION! Most PWNZORS reason!
9. Ever notice that the good guys get more dead people on their side?

Love fanfiction? Copy and Paste this onto your profile.

Fanfiction is a site for vampires trapped in human bodies.

Fanfiction is a site for wizards waiting for their Hogwarts letter.

Fanfiction is a site for secret fourteen year old spies for MI6.

Fanfiction is a site for unclaimed demigods.

Fanfiction is a site for those of us who care about who Katniss will choose.

Fanfiction is a site for people who cried while reading Just Listen.

Fanfiction is a site for people who daydream and constantly imagine the impossible.

Fanfiction is a site for people who never give up.

Fanfiction is a site for those of us who aren't accepted in the real world.

Fanfiction is a site for people who have been called at least one of the following- Weirdo, Loner, Nerd, Lick, Geek, Shy, Silent, Creepy, Crazy, Insane, Eccentric, Psycho, Odd, Mental or Different.

Fanfiction is a site for girls who are desperately in love with a non existant guys. (Because they're the best kind...)

Fanfiction is a site for girls who have dreamt of Edward Cullen.

Fanfiction is a site for girls who've asked the question, 'Are you team Edward or team Jacob?'

Fanfiction is a site for people who've ever asked the question,' What do you think, Gale or Peeta?'

Fanfiction is a site for girls who've ever doodled 'Mrs Alex Rider' on their schoolbooks.

Fanfiction is a site for people who've ever compared their classmates to characters from books.

Fanfiction is a site for people who've ever compared their teachers to Voldemort.

Fanfiction is a site for people who've ever compared their parents to the Volturi.

Fanfiction is a site for those of us who can't express ourselves in life.

Fanfiction is a site for people talk to themselves... a lot.

Fanfiction is a site for people who laugh at jokes that no one else gets.

Fanfiction is a site for people who get funny looks for reading in class.

Fanfiction is a site for people who've ever exclaimed 'Voldemort out, bitches!' in the middle of an awkward silence.

Fanfiction is a site for people who always get asked to read out their stories in English Class.

Fanfiction is a site for people who admire the guy who tries to be different.

Fanfiction is a site for people who say long words that other people don't normally understand.

Fanfiction is a site for people aren't afraid to sit alone and read at lunch.

Fanfiction is a site for people who dared to call a popular guy a plonker.

Fanfiction is a site for girls who've ever dared to call a popular girl a bitch.

Fanfiction is a site for girls who don't need guys to complete them.

Fanfiction is a site for people who ditched reality and went for something different.

Fanfiction is a site for people who hang onto dreams.

Fanfiction is a site for people who are different, but don't care because, they know it's who they really are.

If Justin Bieber went missing, 97% of people would search 2% would cry and if you are the 1% poking your new prisoner with a sharp stick then copy and paste this into your profile.

Random:
If the world gives you lemons, you can make lemonade... or you can make a biologically engineered virulent air-born pathogenic virus that will wipe out the entire population of the planet, which would be a whole lot cooler. (If life gives me lemons, I'm gonna read them)
I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot.
Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS

How can I think outside of the box, if they won't let me out of it?
Fiction writing is great, you can make up almost anything.
The spontaneous rally will begin at 1:45.
Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, and then kill them.
Don't mess with me I've got a stick!
I'll be rich and famous when I invent something that will stab people over the internet
I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers.
I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh the fun I will have
Somebody needs a Happy Meal.

If you believe that Axis Powers: Hetalia promotes world peace, copy and paste this into your signature!

If you've ever felt like you nearly had a nosebleed from reading yaoi, post this on your profile. (I read a lemon once and I had a nosebleed the very next day XD)

Things I may not do in Hyrule:
1. I may not scare Dark Link with my flashlight.
2. Link is not in love with Dark Link. Therefore, I will not accuse him of twincest.
3. I will also not give said Links honeymoon suite.
4. It is not necessary for me to call Ganondorf "Ganondwarf." Having not done this, I will not inquire on the well-being of Frodo.
5.Under no circumstances am I to introduce Zant to caffeine.
6. "Fishing for Ganon" is NOT an acceptable form of recreation.
7. I will not wake Dark Link with "Good morning, Miss Sunshine!" He does not find this amusing.
8. Navi is not the reincarnation of Ganondorf.
9. Mass destroying Hyrule does not earn me a spot on "Ganondorf's favorite people list;" I will stop soon.
10. When watching Link fight Ganondorf, I will not start a betting pool on the outcome.

Ten Ways to Annoy Non-Zelda Fans:
1. Yell, "RUN! THE REDEADS ARE COMING!" at very random, inappropriate times.
2. Call every Siberian husky you see "Link." if said dog responds, ask for the whereabouts of Midna.
3. Assign everybody a Zelda character. ("You're a lot like Link, you know that?")
4. Don't talk. Just yell "HIYAH!" and poke people with sticks. If possible, wear green. In short, act EXACTLY like Link.
5. Tell everyone that the spirit of Zelda is in front of them; procede to have a conversation with "Zelda's spirit."
6. If anyone asks your name tell them "I'm Shadow Link; currently possessing (Your name)'s body.
7. Stare out a window. If anybody asks, tell them "I'm sure the man out there is trying to get the Triforce!"
8. Try to kill your own shadow.
9. Draw the symbol of the Triforce on your hand; try to pass yourself of as either Link, Zelda, or Ganondorf.
10. When in some place creepy, sing/hum/play Ganondorf's theme

WHAT HETALIA HAS TAUGHT ME:

Germany taunt me work should be done with patience
America taunt me it's ok to have fun
Sealand taught me to follow my dreams
Belarus taught me to never give up
Canada taught me that there are times to be quiet, and times to speak up
Prussia taught me to be myself
France taught me that love is a powerful gift
Romano taught me to stand up for myself
England taught me that manners are important
Russia taught me that it's what inside that counts
Japan taught me that peace is very important
Finland taught me that it's better to give than receive
Italy taught me that even when everything is dark, just smile and you'll be fine
Holy Roman Empire taught me that you should never keep your love secret; tell that special someone how you feel before it's too late. (This one added on by me)

The Hetalia pledge: I promise to remember Italy whenever someone mentions pasta. I promise to remember Germany whenever someone says West. I promise to remember Japan whenever I see an Asian tourist taking pictures of brightly coloured cake. I promise to remember America whenever I see someone eating a Big Mac. I promise to remember England whenever I watch Doctor Who. I promise to remember France whenever I see a rose. I promise to remember China whenever I see Hello Kitty. I promise to remember Russia whenever I see a lead pipe. I promise to remember Lithuania whenever I see a guy being pushed around by a Russian. I promise to remember Estonia whenever I see a smart guy being pushed around by a Russian. I promise to remember Latvia whenever I see a scared guy being pushed around by a Russian. I promise to remember Belarus whenever I see a girl demanding to become one with her older brother. I promise to remember Ukraine whenever I hear and/or see HUGE boobs. I promise to remember Sweden whenever I pass by an IKEA. I promise to remember Finland whenever I hear someone say 'My wife'. I promise to remember Spain whenever I see a tomato field. I promise to remember Romano whenever I see a kid pouting and swearing. I promise to remember Hungary whenever I see a frying pan. I promise to remember Austria whenever I hear someone play the piano. I promise to remember Prussia whenever I hear someone say AWESOME! I promise to remember Poland whenever I pass a Valley Girl. I promise to remember Switzerland whenever I see a guy with a gun. I promise to remember Liechtenstein whenever I see a girl wearing a bow in her hair. I promise to remember Turkey whenever I think about Phantom of the Opera. I promise to remember Greece whenever I see a sleeping man with a cat. I promise to remember Egypt whenever I see a pyramid and/or triangle. I promise to remember Canada whenever I see pancakes. I promise to remember Cuba whenever I see a fat guy eating ice-cream. I promise to remember Sealand whenever I see a boat. I promise to remember Grandpa Rome whenever I see someone way too young to be a grandfather. I promise to remember Germania whenever I see Legolas from LOTR. I promise to remember Holy Rome whenever I see a boy too nervous to confess that he loves someone. This I pledge as a Hetalian. I have promised my brother and sister Hetalians to draw a complete circle. Marukaite chikyuu!

You know your ADDICTED to Legend of Zelda when... (Not mine.)

1. You call every husky Link. Then ask where Midna is..

2. Every time you mow the lawn, you keep a close eye out for any Rupees.

3. You have played all the games and beaten them multiple times.

4. You have gotten one of your friends addicted to the game.

5. Your parents don't threaten to ground you, they threaten to take away your Legend of Zelda games.

6. You know everything there is to know about the series and it's characters.

7. You friends/family know everything about the game even though they haven't played it.

8. Whenever someone metions "Legend of Zelda" you stand up and yell "I'VE PLAYED THOSE GAMES BEFORE AND THEY ROCK! without feeling embarrassed or weird.

9. Instead of using cuss words you replace them with the goddesses names (EX: Son of a Din! or Oh my goddess!)

10. You are proud of ALL Zelda games and say random facts about the series at random times.

11. When someone seems "evil" you call them Ganondorf.

12. When you are playing any of the games and are fighting a boss, anyone who tries to mess you up or even dare touch you would get a slap/punch to the face.

13. You know the phrase: "Well excuuuse me princess!"

14. If you ever accidentally kill Link you apologize to him for about 5 minutes.

15. You cried at the end of Twilight Princess. (WHO DIDN'T?!?!)

16.When you are trying to explain how annoying something or someone is you simply say: THIS IS/YOUR ANNOYING AS FREAKIN' NAVI!

17. You constantly draw a Triforce on your left hand.

18. You have been any of the characters from the series at least once for Halloween.

19. You own at least one Zelda shirt or any piece of clothing relating to Zelda and you have at least one picture of Link or any characters from the series.

20. No matter which song from the series plays, you automatically know the name of it.

You know your obsessed with Hetalia when...bold apply

1. You start laughing hysterically at maps

2. You go "Aww" when you see two or more flags together (or I make retching noises, it depends)

3. You've learned more history from it than from an actual history class

4. You debate about details like whether the number on America's back is supposed to be 50 or 96...with supporting screenshots

5. You watch APH MADs (Music videos/parodies)

6. You got a Nico Nico Douga account despite not knowing a single word of Japanese so you could watch even more APH MADs.

7. You dress up in a scarf and party hat and sit behind a receptionist's desk for Halloween.

8. World War II starts sounding romantic.

9. Your teacher asks why you put "Iggy!" as the answer instead of America, and why you drew a small heart and the name "Francis" beside it.

10. You yell/think "Yeah, he's the hero!" whenever someone says America.

11. You misread UK as UKE every single time, and have started mispronouncing it in actual conversation.

12. You know every country's flag and location, and people think you must be a huge history nerd, and really, you've become one.

13. You shudder every time you hear the name "Russia" or "Ivan" and quickly glance over your shoulder...just in case.

14.Whenever you see a fellow Hetalia fan, you shout, "Pastaaaaaaaaa!!" down the hallway.

15. You write down your favorite pairings all over your history lecture notes, leaving others to wonder what "FrUK" means.

16. You end every sentence with "aru".

17. You scream 'Paaaaaaaaaastaaaaaaaaaaa!' every time you happen to have some.

18. You can't imagine a functioning Italian mafia.

19. You want Prussia back on the map. (He's too awesome not to be a country!)

20. You can no longer say "international affairs" with a straight face.

21. No one can mention a country without you thinking about what they look like in Hetalia.

22. You read a historical book and think it would make a good Fanfic.

23. Other people don't get it when you say your country's cute. (Except mah fellow Hetalian friends!!)

24. You've listened to Romano's Delicious Tomato Song like...80s billion time.

25. You're a duke/duchess of Sealand.

26. You've become a thousand times more patriotic

27. You remember Canada Day BEFORE the 4th of July, as in, you completely forget about America's birthday.

28. You want to learn every single language in the world. Even the weird ones.

28. You recognize which flag belongs to which country, while everyone just looks at you funny.

29. Everyone who's named Alfred, Arthur, Peter, Matthew, or Francis are forever linked to Hetalia.

30. Scream "PASTAAAAAAA" at everyone who is eating some.

QUOOOOOOTES!!

"Hey, Liam, can I borrow your scissors?"

"Ask the bomb company!"

-My friends, Liam and Dolf. (no really, this actually happened XD)

"No, no, don't miss the doughnut - ARGH! NO! You missed the doughnut!"

-Me, flying my loftwing in Skyward Sword when I missed those round island thingies that boost your speed.

"Holy sh*t it's Orochimaru!"

-My friend when seeing Ghirahim do the crazy tongue thing

"OH MY GOD IT'S THE WIND FISH!"

-Me, seeing Levias on Skyward Sword for the first time

"The only thing grosser than that is boogers!"

-My friend Liam's brother, Mika (rhymes with Sheikah)

"I AM A HETALIAN AND I KNOW IT!"

-Me

"AAAH! AAAH! AAAH! AAAH! NO! STOP! PLEASE! BLEUGH! ARGH! NYAA! NYAAAAA! NYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! ...nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan- AUGH!"

-Me, playing HetaOni with Steve chasing me. I ran into a room, then went out to see Steve waiting outside.

"NUU! NOT MY SOUL! I NEED THAT TO REPAY MY DEBT TO THAT CREEPY GUY IN THE ROBE I MET IN THE WOODS!!

-Me

"We have stopped looking for monsters under our bed now that we've realized that they're inside of us."

-A YouTube commenter that I found on 'Top 10 Creepypasta'

"HetaOni plus cake equals maths homework."

-Me, RPing as APH New Zealand on DeviantArt

If you are a Hetalian and you know it, don't clap your hands, Marukaite Chikyuu!

...Or just copy & paste this into your profile, whichever you wanna do. ADD YOUUR NAME AND COUNTRY (optional) AS WELL AND SPREAD THE HETALIAN LOVE! MAKE PASTA, NOT WAR!: The Hero of Time (New Zealand!!),

If you are a guy, love gaming (preferably Zelda, Minecraft and Pokemon), anime, manga, Nintendo and just plain weirdness, I would totally date you, no matter your race, religion or colour. (NOI'MNOTRACIST) But if you're older than 15 or younger than 12, sorreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Lorem_64, this does not apply to you, don't worry.

And now...

ducks.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .sSS... ... ..sS... ... ... ... ... ... ... . If you're a girl and you've ever
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... sSSS? ... ... .s..sS ... ... ... ... ... . beaten a guy in an arm wrestle,
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ..sSSS. ... .sS.. sSS.. ... ... ... ... ... ... . copy the Flaming Heart
... ... ... ... ... ... ..sSSSS.. ... .sS.. .SS . ... ... ... ... ... ... ... into your profile!
... ... ... ... ... ... . SSSSS... ... ... sS... S.. ... ... ... ... ... ... . (sorry guys, girls only)
... ... ... ... S. ... .SSSSSSs ... ... .sS... ,
... ... ... ...sS. ... SSSSSSSs. ... .SSS.. ... .
... ... ... ... SS ... .SSSSSSs.. ... SSs ,
... ... ... ...S. ... .SSSSSSSs .sSSS.. ... ..
... ... ... ... SS... ... SSSSS..SSSS... s
... ... ... ... SSs ... ...SSSSSSSSS ... sS
... ... ... ... .SSs... ... ..SSSSSsSSSS ... sSS
... ... ... ..s...SSSS ... ..sSSSSSSSS. ..s SS
... ... ... .SS.. sSSSS..sSSSSSSSSSSSSS S
... ... ... sS.sSSSSsSSSSSSSSSSSSSS S
... ... ... .sSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
... ... ...sSSSssssSSSSSSSSSSsssssssSSS
... ... SSs§§§§§§§§§sSSSSs§§§§§§§§§SS
... ...§§§§§§§§§§§§§sSs§§§§§§§§§§§§§
... ..§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§s§§§§§§§§§§§§§§... ... ... ... ... ... ... ..§§§§§
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ..§

You are

[ ] under 5'4"
] 5'4" - 5'5"
[ ] 5'6" - 5'7 ''
[X] 5'7" - 6'0"
[ ] tall (6'1" and up)

NATURALLY
[ ] blonde
[ ] redhead
[ ] brunette
[ ] dirty blonde
[ ] brownish
[X] dark brown
[X] black (my hair is actually black on the top and then it turns brown near the end XD)
[ ] red/light brown
[ ] don't know, dyed it too many times

[ ] blue-eyed
[X] brown-eyed
[ ] black-eyed
[ ] green-eyed
[ ] hazel-eyed
[ ] gold/gray-eyed
[ ] silver/gray- eyed
[ ] blue/green/brown-eyed
[ ] blue/gray-eyed
[ ] green/gray-eyed
[ ] they change colors (I wish they did)
[ ] amber

[X] glasses
[ ] contacts
[ ] neither
[ ] both

[ ] medium length hair
[X] long hair
[ ] short hair

Your favorite color(s) are?
[X] red
[ ] khaki
[X] aqua
[ ] pink
[ ] hot pink
[ ] yellow
[ ] black
[X] emerald green
[X] lime green
[X] blue
[ ] navy
[X] white
[ ] turquoise
[X] silver
[ ] purple
[ ] brown
[ ] orange
[ ] grey
[ ] fuchsia
[ ] maroon
[X] gold
[ ] teal

[ ] coral
[X] green
[X] clear
[ ] bronze
[ ] I don't really care
[ ] rainbow
[ ] I basically like all colors

Your personality is sometimes...
[X] talkative
[/] shy (sometimes)
[X] funny
[ ] serious
[X] laid back (Even careless and lazy :L Hey, everyone is like that at times)
[ ] strict
[XXXXXX] hyper
[/] sarcastic (once in a while, I might throw in a witty or snippy comment :P)
[X] I have multiple personalities (:P)

You like listening to:
[X] pop
[ ] country
[ ] Christian
[/] orchestral/classical
[X] techno
[ ] oldies
[ ] opera
[ ] 80's
[ ] disco
[ ] rap
[ ] classic rock
[ ] pop punk
[ ] metal
[ ] reggae
[X] rock
[ ] alt/indie rock
[/] emo
[ ] foreign rock
[ ] ska
[X] lots of different stuff
[ ] dancehall
[X] Anything Zelda, Pokemon, Halo, SSBB, etc.
[X] HETALIA AND VOCALOID 8D

The pets you have have or had
[X] cat
[X] dog
[ ] lizard
[ ] rat
[X] mouse (2 of 'em)
[ ] ferret
[ ] bunny
[ ] fish
[ ] horse
[ ] frog
[ ] hermit crab
[ ] turtle
[ ] hamster
[ ] snake
[ ] gerbil
[X] guinea pig
[ ] pig
[ ] goat
[ ] chinchilla
[ ] tarantula
[ ] geese
[ ] baby chicks
[ ] baby ducklings
[ ] none
[ ] hedgehog
[ ] snail
[ ] parakeet
[ ] piranha
[ ] parrot
[ ] newt
[ ] pigeon
[ ] cow

Your confessions:
[ ] I'm afraid of silence.
[X] I am really ticklish (I have weak spots. Sorry, that's classified info ;3 )
[ ] I'm afraid of the dark (I'm the reason people are scared of the dark)
[ ] I've collected comic books
[X] I sometimes shut out others (Just because I daydream a lot)
[X] I open up to others TOO easily
[/] I read the newspaper
[X] I love Disney movies
[ ] I am a sucker for gorgeous eyes
[ ] I am a sucker for gorgeous smile
[X] I don't kill bugs
[ ] I have "x"s in my screen name
[/] I bake well (If I get help, then yes)
[ ] I have worn pajamas to class
[ ] I love Martha Stewart
[X] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS
[X] I am self-conscious
[X] I love to laugh
[ ] I can't swallow pills without water (I can swallow pills dry XD It's painful, but I can do it)
[X] I bite my nails
[X] I play computer games when I'm bored
[ ] I have gotten lost in the city
[X] I have gone out in public in my pajamas (it's actually legal here in NZ X3 People do it all the time here, it's fun)
[ ] I made out in an elevator
[ ] I have been skydiving (I WANT TOOO)
[ ] I have been bungee jumping (I WANT TOOO)
[X] I have bitten someone
[ ] I have egged or rolled a house/car/telephone booth with toilet paper.
[ ] I have smashed into a car

Have you ever...
[X] seen a shooting star
[ ] joke proposed to anyone
[ ] gotten stitches
[X] eaten Sushi
[X] gotten the chicken pox
[ ] ridden in a taxi
[ ] been on a cruise ship
[ ] driven over 400 miles in one day
[ ] been on a plane by yourself
[ ] had surgery
[ ] seen a movie 3 times or more in the theater
[X] been on stage
[ ] gotten a black eye
[X] memorized all the dialogue in a movie
[ ] watched an entire baseball game

Do you like...

[/] old movies (depends)
[X] musicals
[X] blasting music in your car/or someone else's (depends on what songs)
[X] foreign foods
[X] Pokémon (YEEEEEEEEES)
[X] Christmas time
[X] animals
[ ] coffee (NOOOO)
[X] tea
[X] summer
[X] winter

Hey, all you girls out there! Have you ever considered the excitement of fan-girling?

If you haven't, this would be the paper for you to read!

Fan-girling is when all the girls swoon over movies or books or television shows in the most inhuman way possible!

These are the advantages of being one of these alienated people!

1'1'1

Advantage number one: wearing comfortable clothes!

You throw on some pajamas or anything else you find cozy to curl up and read or watch television.

It's comfortable enough for you to settle and maneuverable enough for you to jump up and smack the TV or throw your book against the wall.

Wearing comfortable clothing no matter how ugly - even in public - is a great advantage of being a fan-girl!

2#2#2

Another privilege of the fan-girl: locking yourself in your room!

Locking yourself in your room with your fandom is a wonderful way of saying you're dedicated!

With your door locked, you can bawl and squeal all you want and no one can come in and stop you!

No annoying siblings or nosy parents ordering you around.

Just you and your favorite fandom!

Also, your room is the only safe place away from those weird human beings that try to make you eat greens and do chores.

They're not worthy of fan-girl-world!

3(3)3

A big diet?

Perfectly normal!

Fan-girls usually get hungry while obsessing and eat automatically most of the time.

The only problem is, though, whenever fan-girls get hungry, they'll have to leave their rooms to get to the snacks.

Fan-girls only have nightmares about the terrors outside their domains!

So they'll either have to keep a secret stash under their beds that will last them until the end of the world or pay their younger siblings to bring to food to them.

The fan-girl diet is a wonderful thing indeed!

4*4*4

Let's not forget our fan-girly appearance!

Our faces are usually very red from how much we bawl and laugh and blush every time our nonexistent crush shows up in ourbooks and movies and TV shows.

Don't despair, my fan-girl friends!

That flustered look is perfectly normal.

It means we care!

The red face is just a sign that we're concerned about what happens to our fictional family!

5"5"5

Another way you could tell we care is our smeared make-up.

Most fan-girls always put on make-up and fix their hair so they'll look presenting while watching or reading their fandom, butninety nine percent of the time, something will either devastateor anger the fan-girls and result in them messing up their hair and crying, therefore smearing their make-up and sending their hair askew.

Smeared make-up is a reasonably expectable fan-girl fashion trend, as fan-girls always tend to smudge it once or twice every while.

6_6_6 ((Oooh, XD))

No sleep?

Who cares!

The dark circles under your eyes are the fan-girl fashion sense that proves you haven't slept since you stumbled upon a certain book/movie/TV show that has kept you up from last month to this day.

Sleeping is something sane people do, and goodness knows fan-girls are not sane!

Fan-girls are the special type of girls that can go months without sleeping as long as they've got a book or movie or TV showto obsess over.

Especially if it's got a handsome guy to drool over!

7.:.7.:.7

What else is fantastical about being a fan-girl?

Fan-girls always, always, have something to hug.

When the fandom gets upsetting, terrifying, intense, or disconsolate, fan-girls need something or other to squeeze the life out of until the emotions pass.

The choices of comfort objects range from teddy bears to posters to pillows to pet cats, but never human beings because they don't even go near those strange things.

The comfort objects invariably turn out to be a fan-girl's best friend because they're habitually everywhere the fan-girl is.

8[8]8

Lastly; talking to yourself!

All sane people talk to themselves a few times, yes, but fan-girls get to do it all the time!

When they're alone and there's no one around, they'll talk aloud to their imaginary friends, having oddly long conversationswith no one.

Now, doesn't that sound exciting?

Being a fan-girl, you could do it in public and never be ashamed.

Some fan-girls even talk to themselves while in front of someone else.

There are many ways to do so; some even do it in third person!

9-9-9

Becoming a fan-girl is the most enjoyable thing any girl could ever want.

It's a stay at home job that can be done with no need of any school degrees or monthly payments.

There is no age limit either! Join your fandom now, girls, and find joy in the mentally unbalanced world of the psychotic fan-girl!

10{10}10

(This was a real school essay. Copy and paste if this makes you incredibly happy!)


I am a book freak, yes.

So what?

While I hole myself up in a good story,

you're off reading things from Facebook.

While I lose myself in unknown worlds,

you're off playing Minecraft or World of Warcraft.

While I learn things you cannot imagine,

you're off failing school and your teachers and family.

I know more about some characters than I do myself—

characters you will never know.

I can survive my whole life in a world—

a world you will never see.

I know the secrets of people, places, and creatures—

all of which you will never meet.

I could ruin your life, if I had the heart to and if you and I were in one of the worlds I know—

and you would never tell the difference.

I create worlds, people, creatures, but most of all lives with my words that you call another boring subject—

something you will never experience the joy and pride of.

I have ridden on dragons, outwitted darkness, eluded death a thousand times . . .

I have saved lives, used magic, unraveled deathly secrets that could start wars . . .

I have swum with the serpents, flown with the pegasi, howled with the wolves . . .

I have stood upon the moon, fought in great battles, discovered new universes . . .

I have relived long-gone lives, shaped new destinies, guided the paths of others . . .

I have stepped into other worlds, become other creatures, experienced unimaginable things . . .

I have lived through wars, living nightmares, the worst of tragedies . . .

I have felt the joy, pride, and elation of just—knowing.

Knowing the fact that you would never learn what I have.

And never have I moved a single inch, as long as I read.

Yet you claim that all of this is boring—

Boring, stupid, sad, uncool, dumb, even embarrassing.

You say that this is something no one can like.

And yet, here I stand, holding a book.

If you agree with what I have written, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to make our voices heard: Crystal Silvera, Akronite, Jasminehoran, DarkHorseBlueSky, The Hero of Time 1998


Today, writers are scorned because of those too unversed to know.

Disdained, because of the those too ignorant to believe. Despised, because of the realists who are too afraid to dream. Misunderstood, because others are too unsure to try.

But we, as writers, know them to be wrong.

A writer is a person who dreams. A writer is a person who wishes. A writer is a person who escapes. A writer is a person who lives. A writer is a person who is not afraid. A writer is a person whostrives.

A person who expresses. A person who believes. A person who understands. A person who knows.

I am a writer.

I dream of a world where anything is possible. I wish for a world where war is just a myth. I escape into a world where I can predict the future. I live in a world of joy and mystery. I am not afraid of the world I create. I strivein the world where others give up.

I express myself in ways others dare not try. I believe in things others are too afraid to trust. I understandthings others cannot, in a way that others cannot. I know, in ways that others deny.

Signed,

Azariosiza

Leixym,

SkullRising

Anne Elise

9.0 playa

RonnyBravo

Game777Guy

SusieofAnna

Crystal Silvera

Jasminehoran

DarkHorseBlueSky

The Hero of Time 1998


All credits of this beautiful speech goes to Nic-n'-Nyx.

To all other young fiction authors out there. Copy and paste if you wish. It just needs to be said, and needs to be heard;

You may be a reject. You may not be smooth with the spoken word. You may be the most popular kid in school. You may be the boss at your office. You may be short or tall or heavy or light or anorexic or white or dark or struck by an unfriendly label. You may be the homeless guy on the corner or the one inside the store signing books as you hand them out. You may listen to Justin Bieber or to Three Days Grace. But what you are is a writer; never doubt the power of what you can do. Tell me, what did you learn more from this year; the President, or the Hunger Games? The senator or Rick Riordan? The public speaker or Clarissa Fray? Your boss or Pi Patel? American Idol or the Twilight Saga? A list of facts or Harry Potter? Which of them stole the most of your time? Which is more well-known?

It's the book. Every time. People fail to realize flaws in our society in their own lives, but they see it in District Twelve and in the Capitol. Books make clear what we can't see with the naked eye. Authors are the ones that speak to people's hearts. Writers are the ones people turn to for lessons and entertainment. It's been this way for thousands of years. We are the teachers of every child who opens a book. The themes we write are the themes they learn. We are there in every life, a quiet influence bound in a pretty cover, months' worth of work and reading, colored with imagery built around the lightning rod of an unforgettable plot line. A story spent months reading is memorable more than a speech listened to for just five minutes. I can't name all the leaders of the world right now, nor what they decide to preach about, but I can tell you all the characters from Percy Jackson, and every little thing they taught me. And they are things worth learning.

So don't think there's a better way to make a point. Don't think there's a better way to reach your audience. Fiction stories have been striking the hearts of their readers farther back than anyone alive can remember. And striking the heart is what makes literature so different from everything else. Don't ever doubt your ability to show someone something new, to teach them a life lesson, or the importance of what you have to say. Say it in this foreign language everyone knows. Decorate it with characters and light it with sights and smells and sounds and touches and tastes and give it to the public gift-wrapped with your finest effort. Because I guarantee you, someone is bound to hear you clearer than they've heard anyone else before.

I hope you've found some words of inspiration. The world needs it desperately. Do us all a favor, all you writers, and come out of hiding. We've had the greatest influence of all over people of the past, and as we act now, we are the ones influencing the future. We have more knives and pens than the BVB Army, more sway in society than the Senate, (whom we have proved this to before), more power than any celebrity you could name. I'm calling on you now. Rise up. I dare you to write something today that readers won't forget. I challenge you to make someone cry with one thin little page of text. I urge, no, I demand you to put something down on paper that'll be copied and produced and remembered for longer than Ancient Mythologies have been. I dare you to slam a revolving door*. I demand you to write a message in the folds of a book and watch how, in awe, people unwrap it. Watch your footprints stand bold against the falling snow and refuse to be covered. It is all possible, I assure you. You have no idea just what power you hold in a pen - or a keyboard - until you use it.

And right now, the world needs you to use it more than ever.

We, writers, have made history. We were the ones to record it. And that ability has not changed at all, just our awareness and will to use it. We were given the gift language and storytelling for a reason.

This is that reason. It's calling. So ask yourself what message you want to send. Ponder about what you want to say. Because the world is listening to us above all other beings currently on this earth. Us, not the movies, not the official-labeled politicians, not the superstars. And it's our job to give it a story worthwhile.

What's yours?


The Hardest Questions

What is time?

What is light?

What is a person?

If you think you can answer these, then you haven't answered them correctly.


COME TO MY PARTY!

THE TIGHTEST PARTY IN THE WORLD!
There will be a DJ , I'm throwing a party... everyone is invited!

So everyone come. But read the rest of this bulletin first.

Come Kick it at The Biggest Party Ever.

DETAILS BELOW..

Special Guest: Jesus Christ, God The Father, Featuring DJ Holy Spirit.

When: When you enter the Gates of Heaven

Where: Kingdom of Heaven

How: Just Ask

Why: Because God Loves You!

... Come As You Are! Bring Nothing but Your Heart and Soul.

98% OF TEENS WON'T STAND UP FOR GOD...

REPOST THIS IF YOU'RE ONE OF THE 2% WHO WILL.

Jesus said, "If you deny me in front of your friends, I will deny
you in front of my Father."

Repost as COME TO MY PARTY!


Type your name: The Hero of Time 1998

Type with your eyes closed: The Hero of Time 1998

Type with your nose: The Hero of Time 1998 ((this took me ages to do XD))

Type with toe: The Hero of Time 1999 ((No, I'm not kidding.))

Type with elbow: TRFhbwe3 bHYGUE3W4R5OP0 OFG BT56I8M,KR4E19I89 ((OH MY GOD))


Random Sayings In No Particular Order:

I didn't choose the fandom life. The fandom life crawled from the depths of hell, grabbed me in a chokehold, and dragged me into the flames. But hey, it's actually kinda fun down here...

Learn from me. I am wise. No I'm not. Overlook me. Don't. Are you confused? No, you're not. I am happy. You are sad. No, I'm sad. You're not happy. You are happy. I'm confusing. You are confused. Now it makes sense. Ha.

Smile... even though it freaks other people out.

There's a fine line between sanity and insanity. I believe I crossed it several hundred miles back.

Fate drove me here, then told me to get out of the car.

When there's an awkward silence... "FOR NARNIA!"

I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute.

I'll try being nicer when you try being smarter.

Ah... Medieval Times. When boys opened doors for girls instead of trampling them on their way out. Those were the good old days.

Keep smiling –– it makes everyone wonder what you're up to.

Never argue with an idiot. They'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

Normal people scare me... but not as much as I scare them.

I stopped fighting my inner demons. We're on the same side now.

It is better to keep your mouth shut and make people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.

I wasn't calling you names. I was stating the obvious.

I'm sick of all this talk about vampires and werewolves. What we really need is a good book about unicorns.

I'm not cynical. Everything just sucks.

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

That which doesn't kill you... will probably try again.

The difference between brilliance and stupidity is that brilliance has its limits.

I respect your opinion. I just think it's stupid.

You have the right to remain silent, so please just shut up.

I'm one of those bad things that happen to good people.

I didn't slap you! I just gave you a high five in the face.

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

A word to the wise ain't necessary. It's the stupid ones that need the advice.

If you hate someone, walk a mile in their shoes. Then you're a mile away from them AND you have their shoes!

Never knock on Death's door. Ring the doorbell and run away. He hates that.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE is when it's weird.

Don't follow in my footsteps. I run into things.

Parents spend the first years of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, and the rest to sit down and shut up.

Whoever says nothing is impossible obviously never tried slamming a revolving door.

Whoever says that words never hurt has obviously never gotten hit by a dictionary.

Whoever says "as easy as taking candy from a baby" has obviously never tried.

Chaos, panic, and disorder. My work here is done.

I'm only Grumpy because you're Dopey.

I'm the kind of girl who can watch a horror movie without getting scared, but jumps and screams when the toast pops out of the toaster.

Forget love. I'd rather fall in chocolate!

US quality: made in China.

Other people want to be werewolves and vampires. I want to be a unicorn.

Let's eat, Gramma!
Let's eat Gramma!
PUNCTUATION SAVES LIVES.

I find inspiration in cooking, my family, and my dog.
I find inspiration in cooking my family and my dog.
COMMAS SAVE LIVES.

It takes skills to trip over flat surfaces.

I didn't fall. The floor just needed a hug.

WARNING: Do not annoy the writer. She may put you in a book and kill you.

Cleaning my room:
1% cleaning
30% complaining
69% playing with stuff I just found

School:
1% learning
30% sleeping
69% drawing manga characters in the margins of your notebook

8 out of 5 people are mathematically and numerically illiterate.

Friendships are like peeing in your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warm sensation.

Boys are like trees. They take fifty years to grow up.

Boys are like Slinkies. Practically useless, and yet it is so amusing to watch them fall down the stairs.

Families are like fudge... mostly sweet with a few nuts.

My boyfriend said that it's either him or the horse. I'll go get my saddle.

The evening news is where they tell you "Good evening", and then proceed to list countless reasons why it's not.

Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic...

We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do.

We live in an age where there are handicap parking spots in front of ice-skating rinks.

We live in an age where the banks leave the front doors open and chain the pens to the counter.

We live in an age where there is Braille lettering on the drive-up ATMs.

Strangers stab you in the front.
Friends stab you in the back.
Boyfriends stab you in the heart.
Best friends poke you with straws.

God made men first. Then He had a better idea!

Dear Math,
Please stop asking us to find your X. She's not coming back, and don't ask Y either...

Dear Math,
I am not a therapist. Solve your own problems.

Dear Yahoo,
I have never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo it!"Just saying...
Sincerely, Google

Dear Noah,
We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving 'til 5.
Sincerely, Unicorns

Dear America,
You produced Miley Cyrus. Beiber is your punishment.
Sincerely, Canada

Dear Impossible,
Screw you. I just made a campfire underwater.
Sincerely, Spongebob

Dear Students,
I know when you're texting in class. Seriously, no one in their right mind just looks down at their crotch and smiles.
Sincerely, Your Teacher

Dear The Optimist, The Pessimist, and The Realist,
While you idiots were arguing whether the glass was half full, half empty, or half of both air and water hence always full, I drank the glass.
Sincerely, The Opportunist

I dream of a better tomorrow –– where chickens can cross roads and not have their motives questioned.

They told me I could become anything. So I became a rock.

Bookstores are one of the only pieces of evidence we have left that people are still thinking.

I ran with scissors. And lived.

I am nobody. Nobody's perfect. Therefore, I am perfect.

I did what they said and took the road less traveled –– now where the heck am I?

An apple a day keeps the doctor away –– if well aimed.

DRINK COFFEE! Do stupid things faster with more energy!

You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor.

What happens when you're scared half to death twice?

My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it's gone.

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

Did you know sarcasm is your body's natural defense against stupidity?

Don't follow me. I'm lost too.

The world is full of crazy people. They made me their leader.

Don't mess with me. I've got a stick.

Smile, because I have no idea what is going on!

Why isn't chocolate considered a vegetable if chocolate comes from cocoa beans, and all beans are vegetables?

One way to figure out how things work –– push all the buttons!

What is this normal you speak of? Is it contagious? Stay away! I might catch your normal!

Without those blonde moments, life would be so dull.

When women are depressed, they eat chocolate or go shopping. When men are depressed, they invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.

Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out.

Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional...

Cheese... milk's leap toward immortality.

If you say "gullible" really slow, it sounds like "oranges"!

Without ME, it's just AWESO.

Come to the nerd side. We have pi!

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself... and spiders.

Raisin cookies are the reason why I have trust issues.

On a scale of 1 to 10, what's your favorite color in the alphabet?

There is a fine line between numerator and denominator.

Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
I hate rhyming.
Zebra.

The following statement is true.
The previous statement is false.

The cactus wants a hug.

Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

Excuse me, have you seen my sanity? I think I lost it.

I see regular people!

Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.

Silence is golden and duct tape is silver. You choose.

If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.

I'm so gangster. I carry a squirt gun.

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three!

If you can't fix it with duct tape, you haven't used enough.

I didn't lose my mind. I sold it on eBay!

There is no "I" in "team" but if you switch around a couple letters, there is definitely a "ME"...

There are three kinds of people in the world: ones that can count, and ones that can't.

I can only please one person a day. Today's not your day, and tomorrow's not looking good either...

The person who smiles when things go wrong is thinking of a list of people to blame it on.

I am NOT saying you're stupid. I am merely implying it.

There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Usually, it belongs to an incoming express train.

Just when I thought that you said the stupidest thing ever, you kept talking.

Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film.

An idiot is a window washer who steps back to admire the wonderful cleaning job he did on the 44th floor.

Love your enemies. It gets them really confused.

In order to lose your mind, you must have one in the first place.

All people have the right to stupidity; some just abuse that privilege.

Why be difficult when, with just a little effort, you can be impossible?

I have two rules:
One, that I am never wrong;
And two, if I am wrong, refer to rule one...

When giving lethal injections, the doctors first sterilize the needles. I have one question that I would love to ask –– "WHY?"

He who claps last is not paying attention.

Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

If annoyed further, I shall spork your eyes out.

I don't obsess! I think intensely.

I'm not random. You just can't think as fast as me.

MOO... I'm a fish

Give me candy –– OR ELSE.
Notice how "or else" is bolded, capitalized, and italicized.
Think.
Do you really want to mess with me?

The question is not whether or not you have the right to remain silent. The question is whether or not you have the capacity.

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

Some see the glass as half full, some see it as half empty. Me? I just want to know who the heck is drinking my soda.

The greener grass on the other side is probably artificial turf.

Practice makes perfect, but since nobody's perfect, why practice?

Education is important. School, however, is another matter.

It takes 47 muscles to frown, 13 to smile, and absolutely none at all to sit there with a dumb look on your face.

Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.

Advice is not my forte. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

Slinky plus escalator equals endless fun

I like you. When I rule the world, your death shall be quick and painless.

Secret admirers are stalkers with stationery.

It's not stealing. It's borrowing with no intention of giving back.

Procrastinators: the leaders of tomorrow.

Tu madre. You just got burned in Spanish.

Chocolate is the answer no matter what the question is.

It's okay, Pluto. I'm not a planet either.

At this moment, you're the oldest you've ever been. Deep, huh?

If people were meant to pop out of bed, we'd all sleep in toasters.

Worst time to have a heart attack: during a game of charades.

Whoever said that nothing is impossible has obviously never tried eating a liquid.

Whoever said that nothing is impossible has obviously never tried to fly a helicopter upside down.

Whoever said that nothing is impossible has obviously never tried nailing Jell-O to a tree.

Whoever said that nothing is impossible has obviously never tried lining up a group of people alphabetically according to height.

Come to the Dark Side. We have COOKIES!
Welcome to the Dark Side. Are you surprised that we lied about the cookies?
Come to the Light Side. We have ICE CREAM!
Welcome to the Light side. Heh, sorry, we're out of ice cream.

Don't attempt a staring contest with a brick wall. They cheat a lot.

When someone annoys you, remember that it takes 47 muscles to frown but just 4 muscles to stretch out your arm and punch the crap out of them.

Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon.

Avoid fruits and nuts. You are what you eat.

If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.

9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot.

What do you mean, my birth certificate expired?

I didn't trip. I was just doing a random gravity test.

If I'm not back in five minutes... wait longer!

I've got a problem for your solution.

Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone?

Three can keep a secret if two of them are dead.

I didn't fight my way to the top of a food chain to be a vegetarian.

Microsoft bought Skype for 8.5 billion! What a bunch of idiots. I downloaded it for free.

War does not determine who is right... only who is left.

Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Diamonds are a girl's best friend because they're sharper than knives.

Relax. Nothing is okay.

Just say no to drugs. Because if your drugs are talking to you, you've probably had too many.

Never do anything you don't want to explain to the paramedics.

You have the right to remain silent. I have the right to ignore whatever you say. Either way, it works in my favor.

We're not retreating, we're just advancing in a different direction.

I was going to take over the world, but then I saw a shiny thing.

The Tooth Fairy teaches kids that it's okay to sell body parts.

Be insane, because well behaved girls never made history.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is GOING somewhere.

You're a special kind of stupid, aren't you?

The doctor says that we have multiple personalities.

I like work. It fascinates me. I can sit and stare at it for hours.

The early bird gets the worm, but it's the second mouse that gets the cheese.

They never suspect the short one.

Heaven doesn't want me and hell is afraid I'll take over.

Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?

Anyone else having trouble getting to Narnia?

I've used up all of my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.

Stereotyping? How do you type with a stereo?

People know don't know me think I'm quiet. People who do wish I was.

Hey stupid! Your sock is untied!

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

I'm not as random as you think I salad.

On a scale of 1 to crazy I'm a penguin.

I see no good reason to act my age.

Hey you! Yeah you! No, not you, the other guy! You right there! Yes, you! Do you like tacos?

I tried being normal, but I didn't like it.

Out of my mind. Be back in five minutes.

Normality will be restored as soon as we figure out what it is.

Flying is not inherently dangerous –– crashing is.

I have not lost my mind; it is backed up on a disk somewhere.

Forecast for tonight: darkness.

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

There is a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

I'm the kind of person who walks into a chair and apologizes.

If you had a life you would stop talking about mine.

Wanna know how to keep an idiot busy? Take him into a round room and tell him to sit in a corner.

In a world of Cheerios, be a Froot Loop!

Earth first. We'll screw up the other planets later.

You, you, and you –– panic. The rest of you follow me.

If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance, baffle 'em with nonsense.

I have a dream and in it, something eats you.

Everyone is beautiful on the inside. If you think bones and guts are beautiful.

Looking for a perfect girl? Go buy yourself a Barbie doll.

If aliens are looking for intelligent life, don't be scared. You have no reason to be.

If idiots could fly, this place would be an airport.

Me and the gummy bears have a plot to rule the world, but shhhh... it's a secret!

Quick, what's the number for 9-1-1?

I ran into my ex today. Then I put it in reverse and hit him again.

Hi! I'm human. What're you?

Patience is what parents have when they also have witnesses.

We are the people our parents warned us about!

I will not be a naughty girl. I will not be a naughty girl. I will not be a naughty girl. I will not be a... aw, who am I kidding?

I'm smiling because I'm your sister. I'm laughing because there's nothing you can do about it!

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

Earth is full. Go home.

I'm a bomb technician. If you see me running, try to keep up.

An overly positive attitude may not be enough to solve a problem, but it sure ticks people off enough for it to be worth it!

I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.

Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make them when nobody's looking.

The cops never find it as funny as you do.

Reality is for people who lack imagination.

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, "Where have I gone wrong?" Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night."

People say I've lost my sanity, but I can't lose what I never had.

The voices in my head may not be real, but they still have pretty good ideas...

You're just jealous 'cause the voices talk to me not you.

Nine out of the ten voices in my head agree that I'm insane. The tenth is off chasing cars.

The voices in my head don’t like you.

I used to have a life. That was before I learned how to write.

If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?

Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.

Never go to bed angry. Stay awake and plot your revenge.

WARNING: Jumping into toxic waste does not give you super powers.

Bad spellers of the world UNTIE!

When nothing goes right... go left.

It's a beautiful day, now watch some idiot screw it up.

OOOH... DRAMA! Let's get popcorn!

Do it today! It might be illegal tomorrow!

You! Off my planet!

The first sign of madness is talking to yourself. The second is when the voices in your head answer back.

Allow me to introduce my selves.

There's nothing that can't be fixed with duct tape, chocolate, or by running it over.

Not all men are annoying... some are dead.

If it wasn't for physics and law enforcement I'd be unstoppable.

Kids are the future. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Don't hit kids. No, seriously, they have guns now.

WARNING: Children left unattended will be sold to the circus.

If I throw a stick, will you go away?

Suburbs are areas where they cut down trees and then name the streets after them.

It's you and me versus the world... we attack at dawn.

A day without sunshine is like... night.

I only know how to do things three ways: the right way, the wrong way, and my way... which is the wrong way only faster.

I'm an angel, honest! The horns are just there to keep the halo straight.

Real friends don't let you do stupid things –– alone.

The butterflies are plotting SOMETHING...

Best friends know how stupid you are and still choose to be with you in public.

Don't try to out-weird me –– I get stranger things than you free with my breakfast cereal.

You don't like me, well it's mind over matter. I don't mind and you don't matter.

You say "crazy" like it's a bad thing.

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.

If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?

Of course I'm out of my mind! It's dark and scary in there!

Stressed is desserts backwards.

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

I am free of all prejudices... I hate all people equally!

I am in shape... round is a shape.

I don't swim in your toilet, so don't pee in my pool.

I am reading a most interesting book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

Oooooh... a life. Where can I download one?

The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

People say that money can't buy happiness. However, I just purchased marshmallows. Isn't that the same thing?

If it ain't broken... fix it 'til it is.

I'm not paranoid... WHICH ONE OF MY ENEMIES TOLD YOU THIS?

Last night, I was lying on my bed, staring up at the stars, and wondering, "Where the heck is my roof?"

Ten percent of people believe that their food has a party when they shut the fridge door.

I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call a "floor" –– a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck, my friends, for I may not return alive.

A rejected invention: Instant water! Just add water!

I've got things to break, people to laugh at, objects to drool over and who knows what else.

The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't by accident. Barney came along and they all committed suicide.

EMO –– Extravagantly Made Origami

Everything is edible. Everything. Even I am edible, but that, my children, is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies.

Taste the rainbow –– eat crayons!

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? "Hold my purse."

Do not lead me into temptation. I can find it myself.

The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

Make a man a fire, keep him warm for a day. Set a man on fire, keep him warm for life.

Some people just need a high five. In the face. With a chair. Made of steel. By the Hulk. On an adrenaline rush.

If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

Death by chocolate –– oh, what a way to go.

My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

I'd take a bullet for you. Not in the head, like in the leg or something.

Worst. Idea. Ever. *pause* Let's do it.

People who investigate noises in horror movies deserve to die.

I've probably learned more from Google than I have from school.

Your eyebrows are as beautiful as an enormous caterpillar.

My friend's the kind of person who breaks the silence at a funeral by yelling, "KUNG POW CHICKEN!"

When there's a will, I want to be in it.

Don't try to hold your hand over my mouth to make me shut up. I'll lick you.

The greatest pleasure in life is doing something people tell you not to.

Don't interrupt me when I'm talking to myself!

So stick that in your juice box and SUCK IT!

Say no to drugs.
Say yes to tacos.

Whatever it was –– I didn't do it!

I swear Mario is a hobo. He wakes up every day in the same clothes, runs around in sewers collecting coins, and to buy what? MUSHROOMS!

Ever noticed that "studying" is "student" and "dying" put together?

Dear Guy-Sitting-Next-To-Me: Yeah, I see you copying me. But joke's on you. I didn't study either.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

Wanna hear a joke? Miley Cyrus.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

I don't get it...boys think girls are so complicated. Haven't they met themselves?

If you're reading this then you're not dead. Good for you.

I ROCK! Guitar hero told me so.

There's nothing wrong with talking to random objects. It's when they start to talk back that you need to worry.

The trouble with real life is that there is no background music.

If my calculations are correct... slinkies plus escalator = EVERLASTING FUN!!

Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?

DEATH: the number 1 killer in the U.S... tell your friends.

Three hundred sixty-four days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from strangers. Yet on Halloween, it's encouraged! Why is that?

Secret admirers are stalkers with stationary.

Labels are for cans, and in case you haven't noticed, I'm not a can!

If Tylenol, Duct Tape, & a Band Aid can't fix it, you have a serious problem.

They laugh because we're losers . . . . We laugh because they just figured it out.

What hair color do they put down on the driver's licenses of a bald man?

You don't like me, well it's mind over matter. I don't mind and you don't matter.

What do I do when I see someone EXTREMELY GORGEOUS? I stare, I smile, and when I get tired I put the mirror down!

Facebook is like jail. You sit around and waste time, you write on walls, and you get poked by people you don't know!

I wish I had Dora's parents… They let that girl go everywhere!

I am proud of myself. I finished the puzzle in just 6 months while the box said 2 to 4 years.

Girls spend the first ten years of their lives playing with Barbies, and the next ten years trying to look like one.

I decided to burn lots of calories today, so I set a fat kid on fire.

I want to merge My Space, Facebook, YouTube and Twitter and call it: MY FACE YOU TWIT.

Just because I'm cute doesn't mean I'm harmless.

Please note: Christmas this year is cancelled. I told Santa I was good this year, and he died laughing.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. But if the doctor is cute... screw the fruit!

The surest sign of intelligent life out there is that none of them have tried to contact us.

Lately the only thing keeping me from becoming a serial killer is my dislike for manual labor.

PMS: Every woman's legal right to be a bad girl.

You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.

When you find a real man...
Ask him if he has a SINGLE brother!

He broke my heart...So I broke his JAW!

Girls don't make mistakes, we date them.

A wise man once said, "I don't know. Go ask a woman."

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

Who was the first person who looked at a cow and say "I think I will squeeze those dangly things here and drink what comes out"?

I'm such a genious. (Only good spellers will get the joke)

Do people in England try to sound like Americans, like we try and have British accents?

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

STUPID = Smart Talented Unique Person In Demand

You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?

1 out of every 4 people are insane. Look at your three best friends, if it's not them, it's you.

Engineering: "How will this work?"
Science: "Why will this work?"
Management: "When will this work?"
Liberal Arts: "Do you want fries with that?"

You should never let anything stop you. Except safety rails. They're there for a reason.

Can't anybody who has a job go in the "employees only" doors at restaurants? Shouldn’t they be more specific and say "employees of this place only"?

Beware the letter 'G'. It is the end of everything.

Never do anything that you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics.

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

We're so cool ice cubes are jealous.

It's okay, Pluto. I'm not a planet either.

Ever wonder why bologna and lasagna don't rhyme?

Laughing until your stomach hurts is what friends are for.

You should always proofread what you write in case you any words.

By the time you finished reading this you'll realize you just wasted 5 seconds of your life

I burst laughing out in class today... I got that joke you told yesterday!

There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is filled.

People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.

You think you're all that and a bag of chips. Yeah, well I'm all that and a bag of M&Ms. Taste my rainbow!

The absolute greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you can't.

Hunting is not a sport. In a sport, both sides know they're playing.

Does being fluent in sarcasm count as a second language?

Obsession? What do you mean, I have an obsession? (hides book behind back)

You're just jealous because I'm the only one the voices talk to.

There is no 'I' in team, but there is an 'I' in PIE, and so there is an 'I' in MEATPIE and since MEAT is an anagram of TEAM...

Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to change it every 2 months.

I’m not a complete idiot; some parts are missing.

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

Yes, I hit like a girl. You could too if you hit just a little bit harder.

Why does the psychic hotline ask for your credit card number? Shouldn't they already know it?

If scientists were ever going to figure out how to travel through time, wouldn’t we now be seeing people from the future?

A computer without Internet is like a person without a soul.

When something has a sign that says "Do not touch" it is actually a test of how daring you are. Touch it.

Tape microwave popcorn to the ceiling; it's cheaper than a smoke alarm.

You are more likely to die on your way to buy a lottery ticket than to win the lottery.

Punching someone in the face is a very efficient way to see how forgiving they are.

Why does a round pizza come in a square box? Why doesn't glue stick to its bottle? Why do you still call it a building when it's already built? If you aren’t suppose to drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots? Funny world.

Very few personal problems can't be solves through suitable applications of high explosives.

I do too have an hourglass figure; the sands just keep shifting.

I didn't lose my marbles. I gave them to a kid with a marble run.

I love Mondays! Hey, the medication's working!

I let my mind wander, and it never came back.

Don't let your mind wander. It's too small to be let out on its own.

I just need a toxic substance... L.A. tap water will do just fine.

I do not have a psychiatrist and I do not want one, for the simple reason that if he listened to me long enough, he might become disturbed.

The world is out to get me. Hide me in your closet and don't let it find me.

It's tourist season, so why can't I shoot them?

I said I had my reasons. I never said you would understand.

Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.

Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.

When it comes to thought, some people stop at nothing.

Sarcasm is one more service we offer.

Don't worry, our staff is used to stupid questions.

Taxation WITH representation isn't so hot, either!

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

Diplomacy is the art of saying "Good doggie" while groping for a bigger stick.

What's the point of having a giant paper clip if you won't use it for world domination?

Shut up voices! Or I'll poke you with a Q-tip again!

Note to self: do not use axe to kill a fly on a person's head.

Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.

10% sugar, 10% spice, 80% demon child so you better be nice.

I let some blind guy borrow money the other day. Yeah, he said he was gonna pay me back the next time he saw me...wait.

Apparently 1 in 5 people are Chinese. There are five people in my family so it must be one of them. It's either my mom or dad. Or my older brother Will. Or my younger brother Ho-chan-chu. But I think it's Will.

Be optimistic. All the people you hate are going to eventually die.

I’d slap you, but that would be animal abuse.

I love how in scary movies the person says, “Hello?” as if the murderer’s gonna be like, “Yeah, I’m in the kitchen. Want a sandwich?”

I keep some people's phone numbers in my contacts just so I know not to answer when they call.

If you were on fire and I had some water, I'd drink it.

A clean house is a sign of a broken computer.

Note to self: It is illegal to stab someone for being stupid. No matter how much they deserve it.

This calls for a particularly subtle blend of psychology and extreme violence.

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.

You know, you do this annoying thing where you open your mouth and then these things you call words come out. Yeah like that. Stop it.

If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.

Have you ever watched a Disney movie or something now that you're grown up and realized you had no idea what was going on when you first saw it?

My teacher pointed at me with her ruler and said, “At the end of this ruler is an idiot.” I got detention for asking which end.

Anatidaephobia — fear that somewhere, somehow, a duck is watching you.

There is nothing worse than that moment in which you are sure you're going to die after leaning back in a chair a little too far.

I think that part of a best friend's job after you die is to immediately clear your computer history.

Help! I've fallen and I can't reach my Life Alert!

Keyboard not found... Press any key to continue.

Ah, the internet: where men are men, women are also men, and thirteen-year-old girls are FBI agents.

If Google can't find the answer, it's not a question.

Sometimes, Google should come back with a message that says, "Trust me, you don't want to know."

When butterflies fall in love do they feel humans in their stomachs?

There’s a fine line between genius and stupidity. I like to play jump rope with that line.

When I have kids someday, I’ll tell them to watch the movie 2012 and say, “I survived that.”

If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get one million miles to the gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.

The internet is like Egypt; we write on walls, convey messages with pictures that no one understands, and worship cats.

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?

Scary thought: A ghost could be humping you right now and you'd never know.

I hate it when you miss a call by like two seconds, but when you call back immediately after, no one answers. What did they do, leave a message, drop the phone, and sprint as far away as possible?

Always say no to drugs, because if your drugs are talking to you, it's time to quit.

A recent survey stated that the average person's greatest fear is having to give a speech in public. Somehow this ranked even higher than death which was third on the list. So, you're telling me that at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and give a eulogy.

Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?

He broke her heart. She broke his X-Box. I think we all know who cried harder.

I look around and all I see is stupid! On a completely unrelated topic, I like to look at mirrors.

Can we be antisocial butterflies?

Music is like candy; you throw away the rappers.

“Did you just fall?” “No, I attacked the floor." "Backwards?” "I’m skilled.”

"Wait! Violence is not the answer!" "You're right; it's the question! And the answer is YES!"

"If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up," the sarcastic teacher said. After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet. "Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?" enquired the teacher.
"Well, actually, I don't," said the student, "I just hate to see you standing up there all by yourself."

"In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will decend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child travelling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are travelling with more than one small child, then pick your favorite.''

Your friend calls you at 3 in the morning. "Are you asleep?" "No, I'm skydiving."

Would you like a cookie? So would I.

I Googled you today and I'm disturbed with what I found.

If you are reading this then step 1 of my evil plan is complete.

I have no patience for impatient people.

Always be yourself! Unless you can be Batman. Then always be Batman.

You're a great friend. But if the zombies are after us, I'm tripping you.

DO NOT READ THE NEXT SENTENCE.
You little rebel. I like you.

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

Misuse of "literally" makes me figuratively insane.

Spelling is dificoult.
Spelling is chalanging.
Spelling is hard.

If you can't be a good example, be a warning.

What floats in water?
a) bread.
b) apples.
c) small rocks.
d) duck.

Sorry. I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.

Kiss me. I'm pretending to be Irish.

Fear of spiders: arachnophobia.
Fear of small spaces: claustrophobia.
Fear of clowns: normal.

Real men don't sparkle. Real men defeat dark wizards.

Most Intelligent Person In The World [citation needed]

Legen-
(wait for it)
dary!

Everything in moderation. Except chocolate.

I am disappointment in you're grammar.

Everything is easier said than done. Except for talking. That's about the same.

Alliteration is alarmingly addictive.

"B" is for BACON and that's good enough for ME!

What girls don't know: when a boy acts like she hates them, he actually likes them.
What boys don't know: when a girl acts like she hates them, she actually hates them.

When I die, I want to go peacefully like Grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

I didn't mean to hurt your feelings...I swear, I was just aiming for your face.

I'm not deaf. I'm just ignoring you.

Never say to a police officer: "I swear to drunk I'm not God!"

I don't know what your problem is, but I bet it's hard to pronounce.

Caution! I drive as bad as you do...

If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?

I do whatever the voices tell me to do. It just depends on who yells the loudest.

I like poetry, long walks on the beach, and poking dead things with a stick. What about you?

My day is not complete until I have terrified a complete stranger.

Never get into an argument with a schizophrenic and say, "Who do you think you are?"

Stress: a condition brought on by overriding the body's desire to choke the living daylights out of some jerk who desperately deserves it.

This calls for a particularly subtle blend of psychology and ruthless violence.

See, when Miley Cyrus licks a sledgehammer while naked, it's "art" and "music". But when I lick a sledgehammer, I'm "wasted" and have to leave Home Depot.

We'll be friends forever...because you know too much.

My room is not messy. It is an obstacle course meant to keep me fit.

10 years. Trillions of dollars. Thousands of soldiers dead. State of the art technology. The US finally found Bin Laden...in his house.

364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from strangers, but on Halloween, its encouraged. Does this make sense to anyone?

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.

Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.

Don't worry about the people in your past. There’s a reason they didn't make it to your future.

Eat right, exercise, die anyway.

I can resist everything except temptation.

I have CDO. It's like OCD but all of the letters are in alphabetical order...like they should be.

If aliens are looking for intelligent life, then why are you scared?

If all else fails, destroy all evidence that you tried.

If explosives didn't solve your problems, you obviously weren't using enough of them.

If Fed ex and UPS merge, they would be called Fed UP.

If history repeats itself, I'm so getting a dinosaur.

If I promise not to kill you... can I have a hug?

If idiots could fly, this place would be an airport.

If it walks like a duck, talks like a duck, then it could be a dragon doing a duck impersonation.

If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?

If you're color blind, eating sweets must be a completely different experience. "Come on skittles, give me red... LEMON DARNIT!"

Isn’t it funny how the word ‘politics’ is made up of the words ‘poli’ meaning ‘many’ in Latin, and ‘tics’ as in ‘bloodsucking creatures’?"

It's sad your own mom dresses you like that.

I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh the fun I will have.

I've learned from my mistakes, and I'm sure I could repeat them exactly, if it's worth it.

Jogging is a slow sprinting, Coach!

Just remember – if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

Let me know if anything I say offends you, I might wanna offend you later.

Paper may beat rock, but only until the catapults roll in!

Remember: Eat your school, stay in drugs and don't do vegetables . . . Wait . . .

Right now, I’m having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

Sanity is a state of mind. It's near Colorado. :D

Seen it all. Done it all. Can't remember most of it.

Set sail in a general that way direction.

The pen may be mightier, but the sword still hurts.

The person who smiles when things go wrong has found someone to blame it on.

The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.

The rules only apply if you get caught.

The three of you panic. The rest follow me.

Those who throw objects at crocodiles will be asked to retrieve them.

We are the people our parents warned us about!

When I die, friends will go to my funeral, good friends will cry at my funeral, but my best friend will change my facebook status to "Chillin' with Jesus".

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

When in doubt, push random buttons!

When they laugh, we'll laugh along too. Because we know better. We know.

A clear conscience is usually a sign of memory loss.

I'm not as dumb as you look.

They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it every time I tell the truth, I get sent to my room?

It's always darkest before dawn...so if you're gonna steal the neighbors newspaper, that's the time to do it.

It takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown...and fewer still to ignore someone completely.

It takes a big man to cry...but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.

Doors are on a house so you don't have to go through the windows.

No one ever says "it's only a game" if their team is winning.

I never repeat myself, so pay close attention to me the first time, cause I never repeat myself.

Canaries are the best, especially with ketchup on them.

Slow and steady gets you trampled by the other guys.

When opportunity knocks, shoot first and ask questions later.

When all else fails, use duct tape.

I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.

Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.

Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time you need him, chances are you won't be needing him again

My Reality Check bounced.

On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.

"What's behind this door?" -opens it- "...another door. Hilarious."

"There are 1000 ways I could kill you, and 941 of them hurt." "So what do the other 59 of them do? Tickle?"

"They locked you in?" "No, I locked THEM out! Why must you always see these things backwards?"

I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works.

Out of my mind, please leave a message.

Define normal.

Do you think I'm weird? Don't answer that.

What if weird meant normal and normal meant weird?

Worry when I say I don’t need chocolate.

You say you don’t trust me with sharp objects, I ask why not.

You laugh at me because I'm different, I laugh at you because you're all the same.

My mom finds it tiring to worry about me.

Don’t expect anything from me until I’ve had my daily dose of chocolate.

How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.

There's no future in time travel.

Smith & Wesson -- the original point and click interface.

Radioactive cats have 18 half-lives.

All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.

Oh Lord give me patience, and give it to me NOW!

A good pun is its own reward.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

Laughing stock -- cattle with a sense of humor

The road to success is always under construction.

Energizer Bunny arrested; charged with battery.

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.

What you call dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.

Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he’s lost?

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.

Boys should be like Kleenex, soft, strong and disposable.

Constantly choosing the lesser of two evils is still choosing evil.

Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.

Why is it called 'after dark' when it really is 'after light'?

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.

Car service: If it ain't broke, we'll break it.

Remember: Don't Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river.

There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.

Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.

Note - The key to a good relationship is the key. Give me back the key.

You know the speed of light; so what is the speed of dark?

I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.

Who are you and how did you get in here? Frank: I'm a locksmith. And... I'm a locksmith...

It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off.

Gene Police: You!! Out of the pool!

Ideas don't stay in some minds very long because they don't like solitary confinement.

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

A friend of mine stopped smoking, drinking, overeating, and chasing women — all at the same time. It was a lovely funeral.

Minds are like parachutes. Just because you've lost yours doesn't mean you can borrow mine.

Madness does not always howl. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "Hey, is there room in your head for one more?"

Politicians are like diapers. They need to be changed often and for the same reason.

Nothing says "you're a loser" more than owning a motivational poster about being a winner.

The downside of being better than everyone else is that people tend to assume you're pretentious.

Less is more. Unless you're standing next to the one with more. Then less just looks pathetic.

Acquisition is the discovery that you're no longer a big fish in a small pond, or even a small fish in a big pond, but rather a small fish in a big fish.

Perseverance is the courage to ignore the obvious wisdom of turning back.

Economics is the science of explaining tomorrow why the predictions you made yesterday didn't come true today.

Some things simply cannot be overcome with determination and a positive attitude.

If you're not part of the solution, there's good money to be made in prolonging the problem.

Hard work often pays off after time, but laziness always pays off now.

If you expect to score points by whining, join a European soccer team.

Hundreds of years from now, it will not matter what my bank account was, the sort of house I lived in, or the kind of car I drove...but the world may be different because I did something so bafflingly crazy that my ruins became a tourist attraction.

Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, concerned individuals can change the world. Indeed, it's how we got stuck with the IRS, the Federal Reserve and the Mafia.

Sometimes the best solution to morale problems is just to fire all the unhappy people.

Teamwork ensures that your hard work can always be ruined by someone else's incompetence.

Keep living life like there's no tomorrow and you'll be right sooner than you think.

When a motivated group of people join together, they can turn problems into opportunities. Especially drinking problems.

The bad news is robots can do your job now. The good news is we're now hiring robot repair technicians. The worse news is we're working on robot-fixing robots — and we do not anticipate any further good news.

Teach every child you meet the importance of forgiveness. It's our only hope of surviving their wrath once they realize just how badly we've screwed things up for them.

Money can't buy you love. But it can buy exotic cars and luxury yachts. Once you've got those covered, you'll be fighting love off with a stick.

I expected times like this, but I never thought they'd be so bad, so long, and so frequent.

Looking sharp is easy when you haven't done any work. Just look at pencils.

Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer. Especially to your friends.

Sometimes, the most important lesson you can learn from team building is that you're not a very good team.

You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find you can get what you need taken from you by the government.

If you think it's lonely at the top, just wait 'til you try the bottom.

Teamwork is the fuel that allows common people to achieve uncommon results, provided they don't mind you calling them "common people".

You can do anything you set your mind to when you have vision, determination, and an endless supply of expendable labor.

Pain is just weakness leaving the body. Sometimes your spirit tags along with it.

Action will be taken to prevent the next disaster as soon as possible after it has occurred.

Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars. Of course, then your eyeballs will boil and your lungs explode from decompression. But that's what you get for being a darn showoff.

When you wish upon a falling star, your dreams can come true. Unless it's really a meteorite hurtling to Earth which will destroy all life. Then you're pretty much hosed no matter what you wish for. Unless it's death by meteor.

A friend is just a stranger you haven't alienated yet.

None of us is as dumb as all of us.

I hear the call to do nothing and am doing my best to answer it.

It takes genuine talent to see greatness in yourself despite your absence of genuine talent.

Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid.

If wishes were horses then dreamers would ride. But they're much more like cattle, so best grab a shovel.

If you think the problems we create are bad, just wait until you see our solutions.

The journey of a thousand miles sometimes ends very, very badly.

Those who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those busy proving them right.

It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others.

Multitasking is the art of doing twice as much as you should half as well as you could.

If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. And put your face between them when you do. You'll save me a lot of trouble. Thanks.

Those who do not learn from cliches are destined to repeat them.

Believe in yourself. Because the rest of us think you're an idiot.

#You haven't experienced awkward until you try to tickle someone who isn't ticklish...

#Running towards my dreams, tripping over tripped over reality, and hit my head on the truth.

#"Maybe you should read the instruct-" "NAHH! I GOT THISSSSS!"

#If karma doesn't hit you in the head, I gladly will.

#"You've changed." "Yeah, Im a transformer."

#"Im a wizard." "Then prove it." "Sorry I can't, no magic outside of Hogwarts."

#How to kill a spider: Grab a tissue, Approach slowly, and very carefully, burn the house down.

#Home alone! Expectation: Party! Party! Reality: Peeing with the door open.

#Don't grow up! It's a trap!

#Money doesn't buy happiness? Well it buys a jet ski. Have you ever seen a sad person on a jet ski? It's impossible to be sad on a jet ski

#Dear McDonalds, Thank you for not selling hot dogs. I don't think I could order a McWiener with a straight face.

#Common sense is like deodorant, the people who need it most are the ones who never use it.

#I love rumors! I found so much about myself I didn't even know!

#Those who criticize our generation forget who raised it.

#Hitting your hip on a corner and feeling like you've been shot.

#'Life's hard. It's even harder when your stupid.' -John Wayne

#I don't understand how Super Mario can smash blocks his head, but dies when he touches a turtle.

#When I turn 18 and my parents try to get me to do something, I'll just be like, "Dobby has no master. Dobby is a free Elf."

#All my life I thought air was free until I bought a bag of chips.

#I'm not rude. I'm honest.

#I like wearing big sweaters. Not cause they're all comfy & cuddly, but when the sleeves are really big I get to flop then around & smack people.

#I look really cute when I wake up. And by cute I mean homeless.

#My standards are unreasonably high. I'm like a walrus going after a peacock.

#Showers are amazing. They make you feel nice and clean, make you sound like a professional singer, and help you make all of life's decisions.

#Remember when you told me to bring you a glass of water? I took a sip.

#That baby dinosaur noise you make when you stretch. (Don't you mean the embarrassingly loud sex noise)

#I want a nice body, but then like... food.

#The moment where your like; "WHO TOOK MY- Oh. There it is."

#Play with my hair until I fall asleep and I'll love you till the day I die.

#If I haven't embarrassed myself in front of you, don't worry; it will happen.

#Because having cute underwear makes you feel so much better about yourself.

#When my friends are sad, I send them a long paragraph. But when I'm sad, they say "Oh, Sorry" or "That sucks"

#I don't know about you, but I'm feeling 22... pounds overweight.

#"He's cute, I swear. Let me find a better picture."

#Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave the house.

Tupperware. More like TupperWHERE THE HECK IS THE LID

Whenever I see a centaur they have abs. How do they get abs? Half of them is horse.

Whenever a girl says "lol have fun" do not have fun. Abort misson. I repeat. Abort mission.

Why do people think being a vampire is so great? You can't eat garlic bread, so what's the point?

If you are walking a dog and you see me checking you out:

  • I am not checking you out
  • I am looking at your dog
  • not you
  • dog
  • For as much as they tell you about Stop Drop and Roll as a kid, I really expected to be on fire more times in my life.


    When life gives you lemons, it better also give you water and sugar. Otherwise your lemonade is going to really suck.

    When life gives you lemons, make orange juice and laugh your butt off while everyone tries to figure out how the heck you did it.

    When life gives you lemons, play with their DNA and make them into SUPER LEMONS!

    When life gives you lemons, scream, "I wanted LIMES!"

    When life gives you lemons, keep them. Because hey, free lemons!

    When life gives you lemons, throw them back and demand the Mark of Athena instead.

    When life gives you lemons, cut them in half and squirt life in the eye.

    When life gives you lemons, smile and give thanks. Then, when life isn't looking, give him a quick knee to the groin. That'll teach 'im.

    When life gives you lemons, paint them orange and tell your friend they're a new kind of super sweet orange.

    When life gives you lemons, make a super biofuel and end global warming.

    When life gives you lemons, make a biologically engineered virulent air-borne pathogenic virus that will wipe out the entire population of the planet except for you, because you have the antidote... unless you want to make lemonade, which is a whole lot less cooler.

    Ha ha, life gave you lemons! I got a bagel!

    If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.
    If they really are melons, sit up in a tree and drop them onto your driveway.

    When life gives you Skittles, chuck them at people and yell, "TASTE THE RAINBOW!"
    When someone chucks Skittles at you and yells, "TASTE THE RAINBOW", chuck M&Ms back and say, "I'm not afraid."
    Or you run them over with a car and say, "Nationwide is on your side."


    Five Rules of Life:

    If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

    If you can't join 'em, bribe 'em.

    If you can't bribe 'em, blackmail 'em.

    If you can't blackmail 'em, kill 'em.

    If you can't kill 'em, you're screwed.


    The Stairs

    Tripped UP

    Ever

    Have

    You

    Page if

    Your

    On

    Put This


    Hello, and welcome to the Mental Health Hotline!

    If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

    If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

    If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

    If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

    If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to your mother ship.

    If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which button to press.

    If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.

    If you are dyslexic, press 96969696969696969696969696969696.

    If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until a representative comes on the line.

    If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name.

    If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000.

    If you have a bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

    If you have short term memory loss, press 9.

    If you have short term memory loss, press 9.

    If you have short term memory loss, press 9.

    If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All of our operators are too busy to talk to you.

    Repost this if you found this funny, or wish you were the one who recorded the voice mail...


    Jumping right to the point: REVIEW. Writers –– all of them, from famous authors to subtle FF writers –– ALL depend on the feedback from our readers. Vision Dominican brought up an interesting albeit tragically true idea:

    "Lack of reviews is the greatest killer of fan fic writers out there. We at the institute wish to let the public know of how they can pitch in to save our dying writers.

    1) Drop a review every other chapter. It may not seem like much, but reviews are actually what many of us want to see. That, and hits. Hits do make us happy but we don't really know if people like our story or not.

    2) Visit our author page. Those kind of hits really make us happy. It's where we showcase our entourage of friends, beta readers, and stories. Some of us even tidy up with set areas for upcoming story ideas and character bios.

    3) Send a personal message. While normally I'd prefer a review, emails are just as good. Really, it warms my heart to communicate with another reader or writer."

    What you call being "too lazy to review" is what we call "a flame to the pages" as the writers. That one minute or two that you felt "too lazy" to review is another minute of creeping discouragement that all writers feel as they begin to think...

    "Why am I even here…?"

    "What's even the point of continuing?"

    "My skills must be terrible…no one cares for my story…"

    "I'll never be a good writer...I quit."

    These are only a few thoughts that go through every writer's head –– that go through MY head –– when we put out a chapter / story with all our heart and soul within, and we sit there…and sit…and wait…and not a single person says even a word.

    If you're not a writer, you have NO IDEA how much that hurts…

    If you ARE a writer, then I'm sure you know just how great it feels when someone is kind enough to leave a heartwarming and encouraging review, and you read it, smiling while thinking, "Wow…I did it…"

    So, why not give fellow writers the same luxury here?

    Too many times I've seen epic and utterly beautiful works of literary art fall to pieces before finally being abandoned due to the terrible discouragement that the lack of reviews can cause.

    Sometimes, it is so severe that the very writer himself decides to quit, denying the world his skills of writing that I am sure it would have deeply enjoyed.

    So…

    Just one minute, that's all it takes. Just a few gentle taps of the fingers on your keyboard, a few seconds or so of your time, and your words can SAVE a writer from a dark demise.

    Do me a favor: Go find a story, ANY story, anywhere here on Fanfic,net, and see if you can help it. If it has very little / no reviews at all, just check it out, and say whatever comes to mind.

    And enjoy the thought in mind that you could have just SAVED that story, with just a few taps of the keyboard…

    If you agree with what I have said then please copy and paste any part of this story you wish onto your profile. Modify it in any way you see fit; there is no need to use my exact words. You make it say what you want it to say.

    Thank you so much for reading, and please try to complete the 'mission' I have given you. With just a minute of your time, you could save a writer…so please, do it.

    Because, my readers…

    Silence is truly deafening…"


    The 27 Commandments of Fanfiction, or anything written in general

    People really need to pay attention to these. They are bolded for a reason.

    1. Thou shalt not post a fic until it has been checked for grammar and spelling errors. The fanfiction gods hath given you a spellchecker on the computer for good reason. Use it.

    2. Thou shalt not post a chapter of less than 100 words, unless it is a drabble. If thou breakest this rule, this displeases the masses.

    3. Thou shalt not put author's notes in the middle of the story. At beginnings and endings are fine.

    4. Thou shalt NEVER use text-speak in a fic, unless the characters are actually texting.

    5. Thou shalt keep to one tense, and only one, throughout the story. Do not switch randomly.

    6. Apply the above number 5 to POVs as well.

    7. Thou shalt not get offended when someone makes fun of the crack pairing featured in your fanfiction. It probably is rather hilarious.

    8. Thou shalt not use , ;, or >:( in a fanfiction to show the emotion exhibited by a character.

    9. Thou shall try-eth to keep characters in character!

    10. Thou shall not treat every criticism as a flame.

    11. The author's note is not a spot for your personal drama, and thou shalt not make it so.

    12. Thou shalt not put any form of the phrase "first fic" in thy summary. This turns away the ones who taketh this business seriously.

    13. Thy created characters must not have names that exceed five syllables in length. Nor shall thy name have more than five words.

    14. Thou shall not insert thyself into the story line as thyself or as a character –– yes, we know that you are in love with yourself and are very narcissistic, we just don’t want to read about how you end up with the main character.

    15. If thou art writing a story that does not follow the original story line, point it out in the beginning.

    16. Thou shall not make a person randomly smart or powerful unless stating a reason for the change (a good reason).

    17. Thou shalt show and not tell.

    18. Thou shalt not EVER use the phrase "I suck at summaries" in-est thine summary. This annoys thine readers.

    19. Thou shalt not write the same way thou speakest –– writing is an art.

    20. Thou shalt ALWAYS spell the word "okay" correctly. Using the letter "K" is an unacceptable compromise.

    21. Thou shalt only use clichés when thou a) art writing a parody or b) find a new and interesting twist to make such clichés bearable to thine reader.

    22. Thou shalt always separate dialogue from two separate speakers in two separate paragraphs. Otherwise thine readers shalt be confuse-ed.

    23. Thou shalt not EVER make a chapter all one paragraph. THIS INFURIATES BOTH THINE READER AND THE FANFICTION GODS. They have given thee an ENTER key with good reason.

    24. Thou shalt not write with thy caps lock on. It displeases the masses, causes thy readers to lose their vision, and makes angels weep.

    25. Thou shalt know how to spell the character's names correctly before thou writeth the fic. Misspelling the name of the main characters makes readers angry and distracts from the story.

    26. Thou shalt not say in thine summary "summary inside". This shows lack of creativity and infuriates the masses. The only exception is when a summary is cut short and a continuation of it lies inside.

    27. Thou shalt use paragraphs and space the story so it is not terrifyingly daunting to thine readers.


    How to Know if You're Addicted to Fanfiction:

    10. You no longer refer to comments as "comments." They are now known only as "reviews."

    9. Pens are for idiots, and you wouldn't be caught dead with one. How on earth are you supposed to erase when you want to rewrite?

    8. You start laughing at the most inopportune times because you remembered something funny from a fanfic.

    7. You pretend to take notes, but really you're getting a head start on your latest ficlet/oneshot/idea.

    6. Short disclaimers are for losers. Whoever thinks up the craziest gets a cookie.

    5. You can't write for English class because you've used up all your ideas for fanfiction.

    4. A great story idea isn't a story idea. It's a plot bunny.

    3. You hear people talking about a ship (the water variety), and you jump, like, five feet in the air and act like you've never heard the word used outside of the fanfiction context.

    2. Whenever something inspiring happens, you screech, "Ooh! Fanfic idea!" and then immerse yourself in writing for the next three hours.

    1. You repost this onto your profile! :)

    My mom only had one eye. I hated her... She was such an embarrassment. She cooked for students and teachers to support the family. There was this one day during elementary school where my mom came to say hello to me. I was so embarrassed. How could you do this to me? I ignored her, threw her a hateful look and ran out. The next day at school one of my classmates said. ..."EEEE, your mom only ha...s one... eye!" I wanted to bury myself. I also wanted my mom to just disappear. So I confronted her that day saying, "If you are going to make me a laughing stock, why don't you just die?!" My mom did not respond... I didn't even stop to think for a second about what I had said, because I was full of anger. I was oblivious to her feelings. I wanted to be out of that house, and have nothin to do with her.

    So I studied really hard, got a chance to go Singapore to study. Then I got married, I bought a house of my own. I had kids of my own. I was happy with my life, my kids and my comfort. Then one day my mother came to visit me. She hadn't seen me in years and she didn't even meet meet her grandchildren. When she stood by the door, my children laughed at her, and I yelled at her for coming over uninvited. I screamed at her, "How dare you come to my house and scare my children!"

    "Get out of here! Now!!!" And to this, my mother quietly answered, "Oh, I'm so sorry. I may have gotten the wrong address," and she disappeared out of sight.

    One dat, a letter regarding a school reunion came to my house in Singapore. So I lied to my wife that I was going on a business trip. After that reunion, I went to the old shack which was my childhood home out of curiosity. My neighbors said my mother had passed away.

    I did not shed a single tear.

    Then they handed me a letter that she wanted me to have:

    My dearest son,

    I think of you all the time. I'm sorry that I came to Singapore and scared your children. I was so glad when I heard you are coming for the reunion. But I may not be able to even get out of bed to see you. I'm sorry that I was a constant embarrassment to you when you were growing up. You see... When you were little, you got into an accident , and lost your eye.

    So I gave you mine.

    I was so proud of my son seeing a whole new world for me, in my place, with that eye.

    With my love to you,

    Mommy

    Pass this on if you have the heart to, or just ignore it as if you have never read this.

    ((At the 'So I gave you mine' part, I just went 'NOPE'))


    Love My Mommy:

    When you were 5, your mom gave you a ice cream cone. You thanked her by yelling at her that it's the wrong kind.

    When you were 9, your mom drove you from swimming class to soccer and one birthday party to another. You thanked her by slamming the door and never looking back.

    When you were 10, your mom paid for piano classes. You thanked her by never coming to class.

    When you were 12, your mom was waiting for a very important call. You thanked her by talking on the phone all night.

    When you were 14, your mom paid for a month away at summer camp. You thanked her by not bothering to write a single letter.

    When you were 16, your mom taught you how to drive her car. You thanked her by taking it every chance you got.

    When you were 17, your mom drove you to the mall and gave you her credit card. You thanked her by maxing it out.

    When you were 18, your mom cried at your high school graduation. You thanked her by partying until dawn.

    When you were 20, your mom drove you to collage. You thanked her by saying good-bye to her outside the drom so you wouldn't have to say bye in front of your friends.

    When you were 26, your mom paid for your wedding. You thanked her by moving halfway across the world.

    When you were 30, your mom fell ill and needed you to take care of her. You thanked her by reading about the burden parents became to children.

    Then, one day, she quietly died and everything you did came crashing down on you.

    If YOU love your mom, re-post this.


    Love My Daddy:

    At age 8, your dad buys you an ice cream. You thanked him by dripping it all over his lap.

    When you were 9 years old, he paid for piano lessons. You thanked him by never even bothering to practice.

    When you were 10 years old he drove you all day, from soccer to football to one birthday party after another. You thanked him by jumping out of the car and never looking back.

    When you were 11 years old, he took you and your friends to the movies. You thanked him by asking to sit in a different row.

    When you were 12 years old, he warned you not to watch certain TV shows. You thanked him by waiting until he left the house.

    When you were 13, he suggested a haircut that was in fashion. You thanked him by telling him he had no taste.

    When you were 14, he paid for a month away at summer camp. You thanked him by forgetting to write a single letter.

    When you were 15, he came home from work, looking for a hug. You thanked him by having your bedroom door locked.

    When you were 16, he taught you how to drive his car. You thanked him by taking it every chance you could.

    When you were 17, he was expecting an important call. You thanked him by being on the phone all night.

    When you were 18, he cried at your high school graduation. You thanked him by staying out partying until dawn.

    When you were 19, he paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus carried your bags. You thanked him by saying good-bye outside the dorm so you wouldn't be embarrassed in front of your friends.

    When you were 25, he helped to pay for your wedding, and he told you how deeply he loved you. You thanked him by moving halfway across the country.

    When you were 50, he fell ill and needed you to take care of him . You thanked him by reading about the burden parents become to their children.

    And then, one day, he quietly died. And everything you ever did came crashing down like thunder on YOUR HEART. If you love your dad, re-post this on your profile

    Most girls like pink

    Most girls wear eye shadow and make-up

    Most girls yell at rain

    Most girls love guys who don't love them

    Most girls be what other people want them to be

    Most girls love to be hated, and hate to be loved

    Most girls are selfish

    Most girls are fake

    But. . .

    Other girls like red

    Other girls wear nothing but their dirty clothes from yesterday

    Other girls play in the rain

    Other girls kick a guy when he doesn't love them

    Other girls be themselves

    Other girls laugh at being hated, and love to be loved

    Other girls care for others before themselves

    Other girls are real

    Most girls think this is stupid and hate it,

    Other girls will love this and post it immediately

    Fandom is focus.

    Fandom is obsession.

    Fandom is insatiable consumption.

    Fandom is sitting for hours in front of a TV screen a movie screen a computer screen with a comic book a novel on your lap.

    Fandom is eyestrain and carpal tunnel syndrome and not enough exercise and staying up way, way past your bedtime.

    Fandom is people in the closet, people out and proud, people in costumes, people in T-shirts with slogans only fifty others would understand.

    Fandom is a loud dinner conversation scaring the waiter and every table nearby.

    Fandom is you in Germany and me in the US and him in Australia and her in Japan.

    Fandom is a sofabed in New York, a roadtrip to Oxnard, a friend behind a face in London.

    Fandom talks past timezones and accents and backgrounds.

    Fandom is conversation.

    Communication.

    Contact.

    Fandom is drama.

    Fandom is melodrama.

    Fandom is high school.

    Fandom is Snacky's law and Godwin's law and Murphy's law.

    Fandom is smarter than you.

    Fandom is stupider than you.

    Fandom is five arguments over and over and over again.

    Fandom is the first time you've ever had them.

    Fandom is female.

    Fandom is male.

    Fandom lets female play at being male.

    Fandom bends gender, straight, gay, prude, promiscuous.

    Fandom is fantasy.

    Fandom doesn't care about norms or taboos or boundaries.

    Fandom cares too much about norms and taboos and boundaries.

    Fandom is not real life.

    Fandom is closer than real life.

    Fandom is shipping, never shipping, het, slash, gen, none of the above, more than the above.

    Fandom is love for characters you didn't create.

    Fandom is recreating the characters you didn't create.

    Fandom is appropriation, subversion, dissention.

    Fandom is adoration, extrapolation, imitation.

    Fandom is dissection, criticism, interpretation.

    Fandom is changing, experimenting, attempting.

    Fandom is creating.

    Fandom is drawing, painting, vidding: nine seasons in four minutes of love.

    Fandom is words, language, authoring.

    Fandom is essays, stories, betas, parodies, filks, zines, usenet posts, blog posts, message board posts, emails, chats, petitions, wank, concrit, feedback, recs.

    Fandom is writing for the first time since you were twelve.

    Fandom is finally calling yourself a writer.

    Fandom is signal and response.

    Fandom is a stranger moving you to tears, anger, laughter.

    Fandom is you moving a stranger to speak.

    Fandom is distraction.

    Fandom is endangering your job, your grades, your relationships, your bank account.

    Fandom gets no work done.

    Fandom is too much work.

    Fandom was/is just a phase.

    Fandom could never be just a phase.

    Fandom is where you found a friend, a sister, a kindred spirit.

    Fandom is where you found a talent, a love, a reason.

    Fandom is where you found yourself.


    Girls
    are like
    apples on trees.
    The best ones are
    at the top of the tree.
    The boys don't want to reach
    for the good ones because they
    are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
    Instead, they just get the rotten apples
    from the ground that aren't as good,
    but easy. So the apples at the top think
    something is wrong with them, when in
    reality, they're amazing. They just
    have to wait for the right boy to
    come along, the one who's
    brave enough to
    climb all
    the way
    to the top
    of the tree.


    I'm Sorry

    I'm sorry
    if I'm not a whore

    I'm sorry
    if my boobs aren't big enough
    to "satisfy" your needs.

    I'm sorry
    if I'm not skinny enough
    for you to see my ribs.

    I'm sorry
    if I'm not pretty enough
    to be "your girl".

    I'm sorry
    if I'm not tanned enough
    for you

    I'm sorry
    if I'm not a playboy model
    so I can't act like a porn star for you.

    I'm sorry
    if I'm weird at times

    I'm sorry
    that I write about you every day

    I'm sorry
    f i don't have a dream body
    that turns you on.

    I'm sorry
    if im not tall/short enough.

    I'm sorry
    if I don't have sex with you
    on the first date.

    I'm sorry
    if I'm annoying

    I'm sorry
    if my hair is not long enough.

    I'm sorry
    that im different
    from those other girls

    I'm sorry
    i won't hang all over you,
    and be a complete tramp to make you happy.

    I'm sorry
    that I actually care about you
    and actually call to see how you're doing.

    But most of all...

    I'm sorry that most guys
    can't accept a girl for who they really are.

    If you're a girl and you agree with this letter, repost as "I'm sorry"

    If you're a guy and you have enough BALLS to repost this letter, title as "What We Don't Understand".
    Because, let's be honest, most of you guys don't. Women aren't to be taken advantage of; we are equal in worth and aren't, as I would say, just bed potatoes. We aren't toys or things that every guy has to hang on his arm just to fit in; we're human beings too. So many girls out there have been broken and thrown out like trash by guys that they sincerely believed "loved" them for who they really were.
    All I'm asking of you is that you don't be one of those guys.

    If you are obsessed with fanfiction, put this into your profile.

    If you have ever had a dream involving any fictional character (yours or someone else’s), copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you’ve been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile.

    If you should be doing homework right now, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you spend multiple hours each day reading and/or writing, copy and paste this onto your profile.

    If you have ever been so obsessed with something everyone became scared of you because of its effects, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If Fanfiction is to you what MySpace is to other people, copy this into your profile.

    A large percentage of writers don’t know the difference between “your” and “you’re”. If you are one of the ones that do and want to give them a long lecture on the subject, put this in your profile.

    If you’re sick of people who don’t use spellcheck or grammar check or even just the plain old reread-through to find el obvio errors, copy and paste this into your profile.

    IF YOU THINK THAT WRITING FANFICTION IS FUN EVEN THOUGH MOST OF YOUR FRIENDS SILENTLY DISAGREE AND/OR AUDIBLY TELLS YOU IT’S STUPID, COPY AND PASTE THIS!

    If you have ever written an actual book of your own WHICH IS YOURS PURELY AND ORIGINALLY and then at any time caught yourself wondering why you were thinking about writing fanfiction for your own book, then called yourself crazy because DUH, all you gotta do is just slip that into your book, because you are the actual author and owner and creator –– if you've done that, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you are against “book butchering” –– what happens when movie companies take a popular book and make it into a movie that totally sucks (*cough Percy Jackson cough Eragon cough*) –– copy and paste this into your profile. Add your own coughing suggestions if you have any. I can’t think of any more.

    If your profile is longer than the chapters of most of your stories, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you have ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

    If your profile is way too long and filled with unnecessary stuff, copy and paste this into it to make it even longer and more unnecessary!

    If you read people’s profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If your profile is so long that you have a table of contents at the beginning of your profile, copy and paste this into the “Copy and Paste” section.

    If you are aware of the fact that some people really hate long profiles, copy and paste this to your profile. (If you seriously hate long profiles, congrats on making it this far)

    If you have too many of these copy/paste things in your profile and don’t care who dislikes it, copy this into your profile.

    If you are absolutely DRIVEN UP THE WALL by those copy/paste things that have some creepy story and then something that says something like, “If you do not repost this within twenty-four hours the girl from this story will come and strangle you during the night” and like to NOT repost them just for the rebellious fun of waking up the next morning thinking, “Nope. Still here”, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you are absolutely DRIVEN UP THE WALL by ads and click the block ads button every single time you come on fanfiction.net, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you didn’t know that there was a block ads button until you read this, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you just scrolled down to the bottom of the page and pressed the button that reads “Ads” and then clicked the block ads button, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you are smiling because there are now no more ads and will be none for twenty four hours, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you’re brain’s like an iPod on Shuffle Repeat, constantly playing the same song over and over and over and then suddenly switching to one that’s completely different at no particular time, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you have ever walked into a room and then wondered why you were there, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you have ever zoned out for five consecutive minutes or more, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you are the kind of person that gets really excited when you get, like, two reviews, add this to your profile. (*AHEM*)

    If you love chocolate, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you think that chocolate should have its own food group, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you think that chocolate should not only have its own food group but also be classified as diet food, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If the McDonald’s clown scares the crud out of you, copy and paste this onto your profile.

    I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren’t two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren’t two footballs feetballs? And why is one sheep a sheep and two sheep still sheep and one fish a fish and two fish still fish? People call me crazy (which I very might be) but I’m just random! If you’re random (or can be at times) and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile! RANDOMTIVITY USERS UNITE!

    If you have ever just wanted to slap someone for no explainable reason, copy this into your profile.

    If certain inanimate objects just seem to hate you (STUPID TOASTER) copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you have ever threatened your computer, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself/someone else, copy this into your profile.

    If you have ever (accidentally or purposely) stabbed yourself and/or someone else with a pencil, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word with less than four letters, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you’re a girl who’s tired of people assuming that just because you’re a girl you love pink and can’t fight to save your life, copy and paste this into your profile. (Girls can actually kick butt, man. Look at Fiona. And Valerie Adams. And me.)

    If you’re wearing pants right now, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you’re wearing underwear right now, copy and paste this into your profile. (There better be a lot of people copying & pasting this.)

    If you have no life, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you are still reading, know that you have no life and that you should copy and paste this.

    If you have ever said something that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you have ever tried to lick your elbow, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you have ever choked on your own spit copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or pulled on a door that said push, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile.

    If you have ever tripped where there is a WATCH YOUR STEP sign, copy this into your profile.

    If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

    If your English teacher has ever had to tell you to stop reading in class, copy this into your profile.

    Teenage girls who are NOT in love with Edward Cullen and/or Jacob Black are fast becoming an endangered species. If you are part of this endangered species and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you get way too excited for books, movies, etc. to come out, copy this into your profile.

    If you have friends that fit the descriptions of satyrs or half-bloods, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you openly tell them so and they know not to call you weird for it, because you do it all the time and to everybody, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.

    If one part of you is calm and the other part likes to stand on its head and sing theme songs, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you're an honor roll student that still occasionally needs the alphabet to remember the letters' orders, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you're in advanced math (for your grade level) and yet occasionally still need your fingers to subtract seven from thirteen, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you sometimes DO annoy people just for the heck of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you've ever written stuff on your car windows when they're coated in condensation, copy this into your profile. (I do this all the time XD)

    If you can think of at least one person you would like to push down a well, copy this into your profile.

    If you wish that fictional characters were real copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you really have no idea how this copy and pasting stuff started, but enjoy it anyway, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless (but fun), and you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you have read every single one of these up to here, award yourself 5 points and copy this somewhere into your profile.

    If you like being utterly random copy and paste this on your profile

    If you have ever laughed so hard you either choked, hyperventilated, had your sides cramp, or all of the above copy and paste this on your profile.

    If you think Goldilocks should be arrested for breaking and entering and the bears should have reported her, copy this into your profile.

    Pluto was declared a planet no longer on August 27 of 2006 just because it was "too small" and "off its orbit" for a couple scientists' likings. If you still think Pluto should be a planet, copy and paste this into your profile. (Well, I'm small AND off orbit, in comparison to everyone else that is. That doesn't mean I'm not a person! That's my reason for agreeing _)

    If you actually know what a semicolon is, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you are actually wasting your time being a stalker and reading my profile, copy and paste this to your profile.

    If you highly loathe football, copy and paste this to your profile

    If you have inside jokes...with yourself...copy and paste this into your profile

    If you have ever thought of something funny, started laughing, and fell & hit your head on something hard, and ended up laughing harder than you were before, copy and paste this into your profile

    If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile

    If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile

    If you know the longest word in the English language, copy and paste this to your profile

    If you know the meaning of 'pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis', copy and paste this to your profile

    If you knew 'pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis' was a word, copy and paste this to your profile

    If you knew 'pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis' is the longest word in the English language, copy and paste this to your profile.

    If you don't even bother copy-pasting anymore because your profile has reached lengths that are incapable of loading by your clunker computer, copy and paste this to your profile

    If you still copy-paste just for the sake of the length, copy/paste and crap

    1F 90U C4N UND3R574ND 7H15 M355463, C0P9 4ND P4573 7H15 1N70 90UR PR0F1L3.

    30 percent of kids go to college. The other 70 percent either drop out or don't have the skills to. If you are going to or have been to college, copy and paste this into your profile.

    65 percent of teenagers spend more time watching TV rather then reading. If you are part of the 35 percent who read more than watch TV, copy and paste this into your profile.

    92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you are part of the 8 percent that stayed with rock, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If, for no reason, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If several inanimate objects hate you, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you actually take the time to read other people's profiles, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you are against animal abuse, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list: RogueWarrior869, BlackWolfHowling, Bubble Blower, roughdiamond5, Green.Winged.Mistress, MoonStarWithWings, Yourcool79, Someone aka Me, Angelauthor14, James018, 24hourstomakeadifference, DarkHorseBlueSky, The Hero of Time 1998

    If you are against plagiarism, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you are against racism, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you are a slow runner, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you don't have or want a myspace, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you don't want to be popular or cool, just unique, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you get excited over books, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you hate those FanFiction.net ads that pop up right when you're about to click something important, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you have a friend who thinks Twilight is stupid, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you have a friend who thinks Twilight is pretty cool, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you have a pet, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you have a tendency to talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself or someone else, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you have ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you have ever been called a bookworm and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you have ever been so obsessed with a song you actually A) dream about it, B) sing it in school no matter who's listening or C) know the lyrics by heart and sing it no matter how off key you are, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you have ever been told to go somewhere and you forgot why and had to go back to find out, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you have ever begged your parents for something so much they get frustrated and buy you the thing you were begging for, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you have ever burned any sort of food in the microwave, oven, toaster or on the stove, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you have ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you have ever choked on your own spit, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you have ever copied and pasted something into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you have ever cried when your favourite character in a movie, TV show, or book died, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you have ever done anything incredibly stupid for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you have ever felt like killing someone because they wouldn't leave you alone when you told them not to distract you because you were busy, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you have ever felt the irresistible urge to slam your head into something, whether or not it is another person, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you have ever had a conversation or argument with yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you have ever just wanted to slap someone, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you have ever laughed maniacally until you choked and/or gagged from lack of oxygen, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you have ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you have ever pushed on a door that said "pull", or vice versa, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you have ever randomly fallen out of your chair, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you have ever ran up a down escalator or vice-versa, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you have ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this into your profile...

    ...if you have ever run into a door and apologised, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you have ever run into a tree, copy and paste this into your profile...

    ...if you have ever run into a tree and apologised, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you have ever said something and two seconds later completely forgot what you said, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you have ever spent a long amount of time looking for something that you were holding/wearing, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you have ever stared at someone for a really long time for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you have ever stared at your computer for a complete hour copying and pasting stuff into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you have ever stared at your computer screen for hours and hours reading stories that people who have no lives whatsoever and have enough obsession with something to write a story about it have written, and if you are one of the aforementioned people, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you have ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you have ever thought about something while you were talking about something else, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you have ever threatened your computer, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you have ever tried to hi-five somebody and end up hitting them in the head, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you have ever tried to lick your elbow, knowing that it was physically impossible, copy and paste this into your profile...

    If you have ever tripped over air, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you have ever tripped over a person, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you have ever tripped where there is a "watch your step" sign, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you have ever turned around and questioned how you got on those subjects after an entire conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you have ever walked into a wall before, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you have ever walked under something that was at least two feet above your head and ducked anyway, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you have ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you have inside jokes with yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this into your profile. (How will you delete this after you die, though??))

    If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you know at least five words to the song 'I Love Rock 'N' Roll', copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you know someone who is fighting, has survived, or died of cancer, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you know what a lemon fly is, copy and paste this into your profile. (For those who don't, it is a mythical lemon with wings. Ha! Now you know!)

    If you like blue, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you like copying and pasting things into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you like reading, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you like singing songs at random points in the day, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you like smiley faces, copy and paste this into your profile. :)

    If you like to read what people put in their profiles, and you like "copy and paste" stuff, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you love FanFiction.net, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to this list: Rainstorm007, Littlewhisker, Patronus Charm, The Dawn Is Breaking, James018, 24hourstomakeadifference, DarkHorseBlueSky, The Hero of Time 1998

    If you love God and you're not ashamed of him, repost this and see what he does for you tonight... (What's there to be ashamed about?)

    If you love reading really long books just for the heck of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you love someone more than they know, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you love to sing even though you may or may not suck, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you or your best friend is completely insane, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you read books or listen to music that no one even knows about, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you realized long ago that there was no point to copy and pastes, but do them anyway, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you run into inanimate objects and then blame them for it, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you spend multiple hours each day reading and/or writing, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you talk back to the TV, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you think that cancer is awful, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you think that fan fiction absolutely rocks, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you think that human identification thing when you log in to FF.net is annoying, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you think that writer's block sucks, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you think that writing or reading fan fiction is fun, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you think that you have too many of these "copy and paste" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If your friends are weird (but not as weird as you), copy and paste this into your profile.

    If your profile is long, copy and paste this into it to make it even longer.

    If your profile just keeps getting longer and longer because of all your "copy and paste" thingies, copy and paste this into your profile.

    LOL is overused and outdated. Copy and paste this into your profile and join the COL (chuckle out loud) revolution. COL!

    Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. If you would be one of the few people that would answer, "Where to begin?" copy and paste this into your profile.

    Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you're a nerd and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

    Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

    There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and lose that it's weird. If you agree, copy and paste this into your profile.

    Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, so weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

    AND FINALLY... if you actually took the time to read all these, copy and paste this into your profile!


    FANFICTION –– UNITED NATIONS!! Has anyone else noticed how a lot of us get along and make friends on here and we can be from completely different countries? WTH!? We're here making world peace on the INTERNET and we have all those ambassadors and senators and whatever struggling with it!! If you realize this (or read this and agreed) copy and paste this and add your name and country (country is optional) to the list. SPREAD THE PEACE!!: Naruto-fan-Okami-chan (USA), NaraTemari011 (Puerto Rico), Lala girl in Lalaland (USA), Kakashi Forever (England), NinjasWillRuleTheWorld (Australia), Shadowtheangel (Sweden), Ice Prince Hitsugaya (USA), Gaara of the Desert564 (USA), RebeccaUlquiorraCifer23 (USA), TheCursedOne (Colombia), Wereninja(USA), DarkHorseBlueSky (USA), The Hero of Time 1998 (New Zealaaaaaand!)

    School – 1953 vs 2013:

    Scenario: Jack goes rabbit shooting before school, pulls into school parking lot with rifle in gun rack.

    1953: Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's rifle, goes to his car and gets his rifle & chats with Jack about guns.

    2013: School goes into lock down, Star Force called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his ute or gun again. Counsellors called in for traumatized students and teachers.

    Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.

    1953: Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.

    2013: Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it.

    Scenario: Robbie won't be still in class, disrupts other students.

    1953: Robbie sent to office and given six of the best by the Principal. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.

    2013: Robbie given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADD. School gets extra money from state because Robbie has a disability.

    Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his neighbour’s car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.

    1953: Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.

    2013: Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang. State psychologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has affair with psychologist.

    Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.

    1953: Mark gets glass of water from Principal to take aspirin with.

    2013: Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. Car searched for drugs and weapons.

    Scenario: Pedro fails high school English.

    1953: Pedro goes to summer school, passes English and goes to college.

    2013: Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. AFRE files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English banned from core curriculum. Pedro given diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.

    Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from 4th of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a bullant nest.

    1953: Ants die.

    2013: Star Force, Federal Police & Anti-Terrorism Squad called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, Feds investigate parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated, Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

    Scenario: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.

    1953: In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.

    2013: Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.

    ...What kind of sick world do we live in!?

    Another awesome thing against racism:

    This happened on TAM airlines.

    A 50-something year old white woman arrived at her seat and saw that the passenger next to her was a black man.

    Visibly furious, she called the air hostess.

    "What's the problem, ma'am?" the hostess asked her

    "Can't you see?" the lady said, "I was given a seat next to a black man. I can't seat here next to him. You have to change my seat!"

    "Please, calm down, ma'am," said the hostess. "Unfortunately, all the seats are occupied, but I'm still going to check if we have any."

    The hostess left and returned some minutes later.

    "Ma'am, as I told you, there aren't any empty seats in this class –– economy class. I spoke to the captain and he confirmed that there isn't any empty seats in the economy class. We only have seats in the first class."

    And before the woman said anything, the hostess continued.

    "Look, it is unusual for our company to allow a passenger from the economy class change to the first class.
    However, given the circumstances, the commandant thinks that it would be a scandal to make a passenger travel sat next to an unpleasant person."

    And turning to the black man, the hostess said,

    "Which means, sir, if you would be so nice to pack your handbag, we have reserved you a seat in the first class..."

    And all the passengers nearby, who were shocked to see the scene, started applauding, some standing on their feet.

    COPY AND PASTE IF YOU'RE AGAINST RACISM!!!


    Women

    Women constitute half

    of the world's populaton,
    perform nearly two-thirds

    of its work hours,
    recieve one-tenth of the world's income,
    and own less than one-hundredth

    of the world's property.

    If you're a girl and hate it when boys look down on you because of your gender then copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you're a boy who thinks that women are equal in worth to men and not afraid to show it then copy and paste this into your profile.

    Bullying—A Global Problem

    “If you come to school tomorrow, we’ll kill you.”—A Canadian student named Kristen received that telephone threat from an unidentified female caller.*

    “I am not an emotional person, but I got to the point of not wanting to go to school. My stomach hurt, and every morning after breakfast, I threw up.”—Hiromi, a teenage student in Japan, recalls her experience with bullying.

    HAVE you ever had to deal with a bully? Most of us have at one time or another. It may have been at school or in the workplace, or it may even have occurred right at home—where such abuse of power is played out with alarming frequency these days. A British source, for instance, estimates that 53 percent of adults are verbally bullied by a spouse or a live-in partner. Bullies and their victims may be of either gender and from any walk of life in any part of the world.*Bullying among school-age children occurs worldwide. A survey published in Pediatrics in Review reveals that in Norway, 14 percent of children are either bullies or victims. In Japan, 15 percent of primary school pupils say that they are bullied, while in Australia and Spain, the problem prevails among 17 percent of students. In Britain one expert figures that 1.3 million children are involved in bullying.

    A recent survey in Britain indicated that when children are subjected to severe bullying, they are nearly seven times as likely to attempt suicide. The emotional pain that these children suffer is real. A 13-year-old boy who hanged himself left behind a note naming five people who had tormented him and had even extorted money from him. “Please save other children,” he wrote.

    From

    Bullying has to stop!

    Copy and paste this into your profile if you agree and want to see change!!!


    One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school. His name was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his books. I thought to myself, 'Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd.' I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on.

    As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him. He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes. My heart went out to him.

    So, I jogged over to him as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye. As I handed him his glasses, I said, 'Those guys are jerks. They really should get lives.'

    He looked at me and said, 'Hey, thanks!'

    There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude. I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before. He said he had gone to private school before now. I would have never hung out with a private school kid before.

    We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play a little football with my friends. He said yes. We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him.

    Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said, 'Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!' He just laughed and handed me half the books.

    Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends. When we were seniors we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown and I was going to Duke.

    I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor and I was going for business on a football scholarship. Kyle was valedictorian of our class. I teased him all the time about being a nerd. He had to prepare a speech for graduation. I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak.

    Graduation day, I saw Kyle. He looked great. He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him. Boy, sometimes I was jealous!

    Today was one of those days. I could see that he was nervous about his speech. So, I smacked him on the back and said, 'Hey, big guy, you'll be great!' He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled. 'Thanks,' he said.

    As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began, 'Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach... but mostly your friends... I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story.' I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met. He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home.

    He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile. 'Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable.' I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment.

    I saw his Mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile. Not until that moment did I realize it's depth.

    Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture you can change a person's life. For better or for worse. God puts us all in each others lives to impact one another in some way. Whatever force might will the heavens into existence and preside over us all, be it God, Allah, Yahweh, or simply a unifying force (personally I believe the first), we were made for a purpose. And despite what might unbalance you in your life, despite what might make you feel unwanted for unneeded — chances are you had an impact like this. The kid you passed in the store and said, "Hey, nice shirt" too might have gotten the spirit to stand up to his abusive stepfather or bullies at his school. Or maybe the Shaolin instructor you always laughed at his jokes might have been a dark, abused child whose only solace was the art, and then his family.

    If you're considering suicide, or running a dagger over your wrist, you feel isolated and meaningless. But you want to know something? Everyone feels isolated and meaningless. There are over 7,000,000,000 people on this planet, and at one time or another, they all feel like the rest of the world is out there to spite them. Do you know what this world would be like if that were true? If everyone human soul who thought they were worth nothing killed themselves?

    We wouldn't exist.

    I'm not the first to admit this race has fallen. There was a time when a solemn handshake was an unbreakable vow of trust. Now even marriage is treated as though it is not sacred. But there are shining examples of the human race still left in this world.

    God places his angels strategically. The day I honestly had a knife to my chest was the day an old friend called me up and said, "Hey, no clue if you remember me, but we were friends and you really helped me with my grades." The day when I couldn't help but feel undying contempt for my parents was the day I found a familiar author on this site who, once again, saved my soul. The day I felt like I couldn't change anything was the day someone sent me a review telling me that they were going to keep breathing. There are numerous other examples, but they are all true.

    God knew that you would have those thoughts, and the purpose you are meant to fulfill must be fulfilled. Thus, He sends well-chosen people to help and guide you. Sometimes, they're the smile on the street. Sometimes, they're the freaky fanfiction author who randomly PM's you and tells you her life story. Sometimes they're a butterfly that lands on your nose, and sometimes they're even subtler than that.

    Look for them.

    You now have two choices.

    You can either:

    1. Put this on your profile.

    Or...

    2. Forget you read this and act like it didn't touch your heart.

    As you can see, I took choice number 1.

    "Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly." -Author Unknown


    Dear bullies,

    See that boy doing his homework in homeroom? Last night he talked his friend out of suicide.

    See that girl you just called fat? She is starving herself.

    See that old man you made fun of because of his ugly scars? He fought for our country.

    See that young boy you just made fun of for always being sick? He has to walk home in the snow because his family is too poor.

    See that girl you made fun of for wearing too much makeup? You made fun of her for not wearing it too.

    See that boy you just tripped? He is abused enough at home. He doesn't need more at school.

    See that guy you just made fun of for crying? He found out that his mother is terminally ill.

    See that boy you just called stupid? He has disabilities and studies for hours and hours every night.

    See that girl you just called ugly? She spends every cent of her money on clothes and makeup, just so people will like her.

    There's a lot more to people than you see on the outside.

    Post this on your profile if you're against bullying, anywhere and everywhere.

    I bet a lot of you won't.

    The one who smiles the most is the one who's the most broken.

    The one who fights the most is the one who wants to find peace.

    The one who encourages others is the one who always feels useless.

    The one who seems insane is the one who is just following a life no one else understands, or will ever believe.
    Nor do they want to.

    Not everything is as it seems.

    Remember that.


    It happened just last week.

    I was walking home from a friend’s house. I’ll admit it was late. I could have called my dad for a ride, but I only lived five minutes away.

    As I came to the road, I looked both ways and saw nothing. I stepped forward.

    I hadn’t taken more than two steps when a blinding light came rushing towards me. I was stuck. I couldn’t move. It was as though I had been glued to the road. The last thing I saw was the man driving. His eyes were bloodshot, tired…and in his hand was a bottle of beer.

    And then...

    ...it hit.

    Now, I lay in a hospital bed.

    My back, legs and wrists are broken, as are several ribs.

    My lung is punctured, it’s hard to breathe.

    There is a large gash down one arm.

    I’ve lost so much blood.

    I always feel weak, tired.

    I need help to eat.

    I’m always in pain.

    There are several tubes attached to my arms and chest.

    I have several bandages and plasters.

    I am hooked on a life support machine.

    I’m glad they’re going to do it. My family know the pain I’m in. They visit me everyday.

    After school,

    After work,

    They’ll come to my side.

    I’m grateful to them. They give me company, made the pain more bearable, but they know that I have no hope. I have had too much damage. Without the machine my heart will cease and my lungs will stop working.

    Tomorrow...

    ...they’re going to pull the plug.

    I know that I will die.

    I know that I’m a hopeless case.

    I know...

    and accept it.

    I lay gazing at the plain, white ceiling of the hospital ward, knowing it may be the last thing I ever see.

    Repost this if you felt touched your heart. It touched mine...

    You stay up for 16 hours.
    We stay up for days on end.

    You take a warm shower to help you wake up.
    We go a week without running water.

    You complain of a 'headache' and call in sick.
    We get shot at as others are hit and we keep moving forward.

    You talk about your buddies that aren't with you.
    We know we may never see any of ours again.

    You complain about how hot it is.
    We wear our heavy gear, not daring to take off our helmet to wipe our forehead.

    You get mad at your waiter for getting your order wrong.
    We dont get to eat today.

    You're mad that class got held over 5 minutes.
    We're told we will be held over an extra 2 months.

    You roll your eyes when your baby cries.
    He gets a letter with pictures of his new baby and wonders if they'll ever meet.

    Copy and paste this if you support your country's (or any country's) troops.


    Her hair was up in a pony tail, her favorite dress tied with a bow.

    Today was Daddy's Day at school, and she couldn't wait to go.

    But her mommy tried to tell her, that she probably should stay home.

    Why the kids might not understand, if she went to school alone.

    But she was not afraid; she knew just what to say.

    What to tell her classmates of why he wasn't there today.

    But still her mother worried, for her to face this day alone.

    And that was why once again, she tried to keep her daughter home.

    But the little girl went to school eager to tell them all.

    About a dad she never sees; a dad who never calls.

    There were daddies along the wall in back, for everyone to meet.

    Children squirming impatiently, anxious in their seats.

    One by one the teacher called a student from the class.

    To introduce their daddy, as seconds slowly passed.

    At last the teacher called her name, every child turned to stare.

    Each of them was searching, for a man who wasn't there.

    "Where's her daddy at?" she heard a boy call out.

    "She probably doesn't have one," another student dared to shout.

    And from somewhere near the back, she heard a daddy say,

    "Looks like another deadbeat dad, too busy to waste his day."

    The words did not offend her, she smiled up at her Mom

    And looked back at her teacher, who told her to go on.

    And with hands behind her back, slowly she began to speak.

    And out from the mouth of a child, came words incredibly unique.

    "My Daddy couldn't be here, because he lives so far away.

    But I know he wishes he could be, since this is such a special day.

    And though you cannot meet him, I wanted you to know.

    All about my daddy, and how much he loves me so.

    He loved to tell me stories, he taught me to ride my bike.

    He surprised me with pink roses, and taught me to fly a kite.

    We used to share fudge sundaes, and ice cream in a cone.

    And though you cannot see him, I'm not standing here alone.

    'Cause my daddy's always with me, even though we are apart;

    I know because he told me, he'll forever be in my heart."

    With that, her little hand reached up, and lay across her chest.

    Feeling her own heartbeat, beneath her favorite dress.

    And from somewhere in the crowd of dads, her mother stood in tears.

    Proudly watching her daughter, who was wise beyond her years.

    For she stood up for the love of a man not in her life.

    Doing what was best for her, doing what was right.

    And when she dropped her hand back down, staring straight into the crowd.

    She finished with a voice so soft, but its message clear and loud.

    "I love my daddy very much, he's my shining star.

    And if he could, he'd be here, but heaven's just too far.

    You see he was a fireman and died just this past year

    When airplanes hit the towers and taught Americans to fear.

    But sometimes when I close my eyes, it's like he never went away."

    And then she closed her eyes, and saw him there that day.

    And to her mother's amazement, she witnessed with surprise.

    A room full of daddies and children, all starting to close their eyes.

    Who knows what they saw before them, who knows what they felt inside.

    Perhaps for merely a second, they saw him at her side.

    "I know you're with me Daddy," to the silence she called out.

    And what happened next made believers, of those once filled with doubt.

    Not one in that room could explain it, for each of their eyes had been closed.

    But there on the desk beside her, was a fragrant long-stemmed pink rose.

    And a child was blessed, if only for a moment, by the love of her shining star.

    And given the gift of believing, that heaven is never too far.

    Today,

    I was volunteering in a first grade classroom.

    I was working with a little boy

    Who had cuts and bruises on his face.

    We were working on drawing a picture of a sea animal they would like to be.

    He said he would want to be a crab.

    I asked him why and he said

    So that I

    Could live

    In a safe

    Home.

    Repost if you're against child abuse

    Why do we sleep in church, but stay awake through a two-hour movie?

    Why is it so hard to talk about God, but so easy to talk about others?

    Why are we so bored when we look at a Christian magazine, but find it easy to read Playboy?

    Why is it so easy to ignore a godly Facebook wall post, yet we repost the nasty ones?

    Why are churches getting smaller, but bars and clubs getting larger?

    Think about it.

    When you carry a Bible, the devil gets a headache.

    When you open it, he collapses.

    When he sees you reading it, he faints.

    When he sees you living it, he flees.

    And just when you’re about to re-post this, he will try to discourage you.

    I just defeated him.

    Like, Copy, & Paste this if you’re in God's Army :)


    One night I had a dream...

    I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord, and
    Across the sky flashed scenes from my life.
    For each scene I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand;
    One belonged to me, and the other to the Lord.
    When the last scene of my life flashed before us,
    I looked back at the footprints in the sand.
    I noticed that many times along the path of my life,

    There was only one set of footprints.

    I also noticed that it happened at the very lowest
    and saddest times in my life.
    This really bothered me, and I questioned the Lord about it.
    "Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you,
    You would walk with me all the way;
    But I have noticed that during the
    most troublesome times in my life,
    There is only one set of footprints.
    I don't understand why in times when I
    needed you the most, you should leave me.”

    The Lord replied, "My precious, precious
    child. I love you, and I would never,

    never leave you during your times of
    trial and suffering.
    When you saw only one set of footprints,
    It was then that I carried you.”


    A man was walking on an old, shaky bridge.

    He prayed for help and saw God on the other side.

    He asked God to come near him and help him cross.

    But God didn't come.

    The man got angry and with great difficulty, he crossed the shaky bridge to confront God.

    To his surprise, when he reached the other side,

    He saw God holding the broken bridge.

    God's ways are always better and more amazing than ours.


    A woman received a call that her daughter was sick.

    She hurried to the pharmacy to get medication, got back to her car and found that she had locked her keys inside.

    The woman found an old rusty coat hanger left on the ground. She looked at it and said "I don't know how to use this to help."

    She bowed her head and asked God to send her some help

    Within five minutes a beat-up old motorcycle pulled up, driven by a bearded man who was wearing an old biker skull rag.

    He got off of his cycle and asked if he could help. She said: "Yes, my daughter is sick. I've locked my keys in my car. I must get home. Please, can you use this hanger to unlock my car?"

    He said "Sure." He walked over to the car, and in less than a minute the car was open.

    She hugged the man and through tears said "Thank you SO much! You are a very nice man."

    The man said "Lady, I am NOT a nice man. I just got out of PRISON yesterday. I was in prison for car theft."

    The woman hugged the man again sobbing, "Oh, thank you, God! You even sent me a professional!"

    Is GOD GREAT or what!? :)

    From a MATHEMATICAL Viewpoint: What equals 100 percent in life? Here's a little formula that might help you answer these Questions:

    If: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

    Is represented as: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26

    Then: H-A-R-D-W-O-R- K (8118423151811) = 98 percent

    and K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E (11141523125475) = 96 percent

    But, A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E (120209202145) = 100 percent

    AND, look how far the love of God will take you: L-O-V-E- O-F -G-O-D (12152251567154) = 101 percent.

    Therefore, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that: While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Love of God that will put you over the top!


    A science professor begins his school year with a lecture to the students: "Let me explain the problem science has with religion."

    The atheist professor of philosophy pauses before his class and then asks one of his new students to stand.

    "You're a Christian, aren't you, son?"

    "Yes, sir," the student says.

    "So you believe in God?"

    "Absolutely."

    "Is God good?"

    "Sure! God's good."

    "Is God all-powerful? Can God do anything?"

    "Yes."

    Now the professor asks, "Are you good or evil?"

    "The Bible says I'm evil," replies the student.

    The professor grins knowingly.

    "Aha! The Bible!" He considers for a moment. "Here's one for you. Let's say there's a sick person over here and you can cure him. You can do it. Would you help him? Would you try?"

    "Yes, sir, I would."

    "So you're good…!"

    "I wouldn't say that."

    "But why not say that? You'd help a sick and maimed person if you could. Most of us would if we could. But God doesn't."

    The student does not answer, so the professor continues. "He doesn't, does he? My brother was a Christian who died of cancer, even though he prayed to Jesus to heal him. How is this Jesus good? Hmmm? Can you answer that one?"

    The student remains silent.

    "No, you can't, can you?" the professor says. He takes a sip of water from a glass on his desk to give the student time to relax.

    "Let's start again, young fella. Is God good?"

    "Er… yes," the student says.

    "Is Satan good?"

    The student doesn't hesitate on this one. "No."

    "Then where does Satan come from?"

    The student falters. "From God," he answers after a few moments.

    "That's right. God made Satan, didn't he? Tell me, son. Is there evil in this world?"

    "Yes, sir."

    "Evil's everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything, correct?"

    "Yes."

    "So who created evil?" The professor continued, "If God created everything, then God created evil, since evil exists, and according to the principle that our works define who we are, then God is evil."

    Again, the student has no answer. "Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things, do they exist in this world?"

    The student squirms on his feet. "Yes."

    "So who created them?"

    The student does not answer again, so the professor repeats his question. "Who created them?" There is still no answer. Suddenly the lecturer breaks away to pace in front of the classroom. The class is mesmerized. "Tell me," he continues onto another student. "Do you believe in Jesus Christ, son?"

    The student's voice betrays him and cracks. "Yes, professor, I do."

    The old man stops pacing. "Science says you have five senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Have you ever seen Jesus?"

    "No, sir. I've never seen Him."

    "Then tell us if you've ever heard your Jesus?"

    "No, sir, I have not."

    "Have you ever felt your Jesus, tasted your Jesus or smelt your Jesus? Have you ever had any sensory perception of Jesus Christ, or God for that matter?"

    "No, sir, I'm afraid I haven't."

    "Yet you still believe in him?"

    "Yes."

    "According to the rules of empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your God doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?"

    "Nothing," the student replies. "I only have my faith."

    "Yes, faith," the professor repeats. "And that is the problem science has with God. There is no evidence, only faith."

    The student stands quietly for a moment, before asking a question of his own. "Professor, is there such thing as heat?"

    "Yes," the professor replies. "There's heat."

    "And is there such a thing as cold?"

    "Yes, son, there's cold too."

    "No, sir, there isn't."

    The professor turns to face the student, obviously interested. The room suddenly becomes very quiet. The student begins to explain. "You can have lots of heat, even more heat, super-heat, mega-heat, unlimited heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat, but we don't have anything called 'cold'. We can hit up to 458 degrees below zero, which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold; otherwise we would be able to go colder than the lowest, minus 458 degrees.

    "Every body or object is susceptible to study when it has or transmits energy, and heat is what makes a body or matter have or transmit energy. Absolute zero (-458 F) is the total absence of heat. You see, sir, cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat we can measure in thermal units because heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it."

    Silence across the room. A pen drops somewhere in the classroom, sounding like a hammer.

    "What about darkness, professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?"

    "Yes," the professor replies without hesitation. "What is night if it isn't darkness?"

    "You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is not something; it is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light, but if you have no light constantly you have nothing and it's called darkness, isn't it? That's the meaning we use to define the word.

    "In reality, darkness isn't. If it were, you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn't you?"

    The professor begins to smile at the student in front of him. This will be a good semester. "So what point are you making, young man?"

    "Yes, professor. My point is, your philosophical premise is flawed to start with, and so your conclusion must also be flawed."

    The professor's face cannot hide his surprise this time. "Flawed? Can you explain how?"

    "You are working on the premise of duality," the student explains. "You argue that there is life and then there's death; a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure.

    "Sir, science can't explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life, just the absence of it.

    "Now tell me, professor. Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?"

    "If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, young man, yes, of course I do."

    "Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?"

    The professor begins to shake his head, still smiling, as he realizes where the argument is going. A very good semester, indeed.

    "Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an ongoing endeavour, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you now not a scientist, but a preacher?"

    The class is in uproar. The student remains silent until the commotion has subsided.

    "To continue the point you were making earlier to the other student, let me give you an example of what I mean."

    The student looks around the room. "Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the professor's brain?" The class breaks out into laughter.

    "Is there anyone here who has ever heard the professor's brain, felt the professor's brain, touched or smelt the professor's brain? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no brain, with all due respect, sir."

    "So if science says you have no brain, how can we trust your lectures, sir?"

    Now the room is silent. The professor just stares at the student, his face unreadable.

    Finally, after what seems an eternity, the old man answers. "I guess you'll have to take them on faith."

    "Now, you accept that there is faith, and, in fact, faith exists with life," the student continues. "Now, sir, is there such a thing as evil?"

    Now uncertain, the professor responds, "Of course, there is. We see it every day. It is in the daily example of man's inhumanity to man. It is in the multitude of crime and violence everywhere in the world. These manifestations are nothing else but evil."

    To this the student replied, "Evil does not exist, sir, or at least it does not exist unto itself. Evil is simply the absence of God. It is just like darkness and cold, a word that man has created to describe the absence of God. God did not create evil. Evil is the result of what happens when man does not have God's love present in his heart. It's like the cold that comes when there is no heat or the darkness that comes when there is no light."

    The professor sat down.

    That student's name was Albert Einstein.


    Really Random Joke:

    A man went out to buy a horse. He found one that he liked, but then the man who was selling the horse said, "This horse is special. This horse is a Christian horse."

    "How so?" asked the man.

    "Well," explained the seller, "when you want him to go, you have to say 'praise the Lord'. And when you want him to stop, you have to say 'amen'."

    "Okay," said the man, and paid for the horse.

    When he went home to ride the horse, he got on. "Giddyup!" he said, but nothing happened. Then he remembered the horse seller's words, and then said to the horse, "Praise the Lord."

    Immediately the horse took off in a gallop. The man hung on for dear life as the horse sped away, and gasped when he saw a steep, high cliff fast approaching. "Whoa!" he shouted. The horse just kept going. Then the man remembered what the horse seller had said, and commanded the horse, "Amen!"

    The horse skidded to a stop a mere two feet away from the cliff's edge. The man was so overjoyed that, without thinking, he shouted, "Praise the Lord!"

    Hetalian's Pledge

    I pledge to think of Italy whenever I'm helpless... or someone mentions pasta.

    I pledge to think of Germany whenever I try too hard... or I silence a room.

    I pledge to think of Japan whenever I feel out of place... or I take too many pictures.

    I pledge to think of America whenever I need a hero... or a sandwich.

    I pledge to think of Britain whenever I'm not taken seriously... or someone fails at cooking.

    I pledge to think of France whenever I feel misunderstood... or mischievous.

    I pledge to think of Russia whenever I'm missing summer... or my faucet.

    I pledge to think of China whenever I'm unfairly treated... or I'm mistaken for the other gender.

    I pledge to think of Spain whenever I feel unappreciated... or I'm too oblivious to notice I am.

    I pledge to think of Austria whenever I give up too easily... or I manipulate others into doing my chores.

    I pledge to think of Hungary whenever I fight others' battles... or someone supports another yaoi pairing.

    I pledge to think of Liechtenstein whenever I barely survive... or someone misspells my name.

    I pledge to think of Poland whenever I'm shy... or I (like totally) win using my own rules.

    I pledge to think of Switzerland whenever I get paranoid... or I rock frilly pink pajamas.

    I pledge to think of Belarus whenever I have an unrequited crush... or take crushing too far.

    I pledge to think of Estonia whenever I feel powerless... or I have computer problems.

    I pledge to think of Latvia whenever I talk without thinking... or I feel way too short.

    I pledge to think of Lithuania whenever I am persecuted... or I lose a game of chess.

    I pledge to think of Romania whenever I get judged by my appearance... or I try to use magic.

    I pledge to think of Ukraine whenever I feel way too sorry... or a bit too mature.

    I pledge to think of Denmark whenever I'm criticized... or I have a little too much fun.

    I pledge to think of Finland whenever I feel too different.. or I'm celebrating the holidays.

    I pledge to think of Iceland whenever I'm bullied into saying something... or I procrastinate with candy

    I pledge to think of Norway whenever I'm not listened to... or I'm surrounded by idiots.

    I pledge to think of Sweden whenever I'm misinterpreted... or I use a Swedish Death Glare.

    I pledge to think of Greece whenever I have different priorities... or I see a cat.

    I pledge to think of Romano whenever I feel unloved... or I swear like crazy.

    I pledge to think of Turkey whenever I'm overprotective... or I wear a mask.

    I pledge to think of South Korea whenever I express myself oddly... or I see anything made in Korea (da-ze!).

    I pledge to think of Seychelles whenever I'm hated for something I didn't do... or I find a swordfish.

    I pledge to think of Canada whenever I feel invisible... or there's maple syrup involved.

    I pledge to think of Sealand whenever I am overambitious... or sell stuff on Ebay.

    I pledge to think of HRE whenever I leave someone behind... or realize my name or title is completely wrong.

    I pledge to think of Prussia whenever I can't admit my fears... or I redefine "AWESOME."

    Promise to Remember

    I promise to remember Harry...When someone grows up with no love

    I promise to remember Ron...When someone is jealous

    I promise to remember Hermione...When I meet someone with wisdom beyond their years

    I promise to remember James and Lily...when someone dies before their time

    I promise to remember Dumbledore...At the thought of the greater good

    I promise to "Solemely Swear That I Am Up To No Good"...for Gred, Forge, and Padfoot of course

    I promise to remember Moony...And fight for human rights

    I promise to remember Snape...When My heart fills with remorse

    I promise to remember Narcissa...When I'd do anything for family

    I promise to remember Dora Tonks...When someone is hyper

    I promise to remember Hedwig,...who lived and died soaring

    I promise to remember Percy...When ambition gets the best of me

    I promise to be careful...For Moody's sake, of course

    I promise to remember Hagrid...When one is wrongly blamed

    I promise to remember Neville...when I stand up for what is right

    I promise to remember the Marauders...When a friend says "Call me and I'll be there."

    Yes I promise that I will...remember Harry Potter

    Gryffindors...will jump off a cliff.

    Slytherins...will push someone else off.

    Hufflepuffs...will call five hundred others and build a staircase.

    Ravenclaws...will get hold of a flying carpet

    You say Twilight I say Harry Potter

    You say vampires I say wizards

    You say Jacob Black I say Sirius Black

    you say Team Edward I say Team Potter

    You say Robert Pattison I'll say "is Cedric Diggory"

    You say Robert Pattison is hot I say TOM FELTON is HOTTER

    You think Bella and Edward are the perfect dream couple?I think that's Draco and Hermione

    You say Edward I'll say Harry, now STUPIFY

    Normal people think being invisible is impossible. Hetalia Fans KNOW being invisible is possible because Canada proved it. (...wait, who's Canada again?)

    Normal people wouldn't kill themselves because they are too scared of pain. Hetalia Fans wouldn't kill themselves because they love themselves too much. (...what?)

    Normal people say "YOLO and Swag". Hetalia Fans say "Make Pasta not War!" (HELL YEAH!)

    Normal People love Florida! Hetalia Fans are smart enough to NOT go to Florida. (...*shudders* Eugh...Florida...)

    Normal People say they are cool. Hetalia Fans say they are 'Ze Awesome Prussia'. (NO. THERE IS ONLY ONE AWESOME PRUSSIA.)

    Normal People don't know that Sealand is real. Hetalia Fans are already staying at Sealand's place for the summer. (Do I know Sealand? I am a Duchess of Sealand, peasant!)

    Normal People don't become one with Mother Russia. Hetalia Fans are Mother Russia. (...wut-)

    Normal People are into heroes like Superman. Hetalia Fans are into heroes like 'MURICA!

    Normal People listen to JB and 1D. Hetalia Fans listen to Artie rock out his guitar! (PUNK ENGLAND 5EVA)

    Normal people are rude and mean. Hetalia Fans are a family!

    Normal people don't believe in magic. Hetalia Fans live with unicorns! (Don't forget the Flying Mint Bunnies!)

    Normal People won't repost this. Hetalia Fans will!!

    PASTAAAAAAAA

    My top 10 fandoms of all time

    1. Hetalia
    2. The Legend of Zelda
    3. Shiki
    4. Fullmetal Alchemist / Brotherhood
    5. Shingeki no Kyojin / Attack on Titan
    6. POKEMON!
    7. Creepypasta (not technically a fandom but whatevs, bro)
    8. Hunger Games
    9. The Hobbit (BLUNT THE KNIVES, BEND THE FORKS-)
    10. Harry Potter

    My top 10 Hetalia characters

    1. Italy
    2. Romano
    3. HRE
    4. Russia
    5. America
    6. England
    7. France
    8. Sweden
    9. Spain
    10. Prussia

    Rules

    1.You must choose only ONE of your OCs. Do it again if you wanna use another OC.
    2.Your OC must answer every question as truthfully as possible.
    3.Title the journal as "OC's Quiz (your OC's name)".
    4.When you're done, tag as many people as you want.
    5.Have fun!

    Quiz is for Tanya Hackett. She is in Skyward Sword: Two Added In and Insane Reality. She'll probably be in more, soon.

    1.) Hi!! What's your real name and nickname?

    Yooo! The name's Tanya, Tanya William Hackett, but the bros call me Tanz. With a Z. Because Z's are cool. Like Zelda. I freaking love Zelda.

    2.) That’s interesting...what's your current age?

    Just turned 15.

    3.) Uh huh. What's your favorite food?

    Triforce Cookies. And Pineapple Lumps. And Hawaiian Pizza. With Stuffed Crust.

    4.) Your favorite drink?

    I like L&P, otherwise known as Lemon and Paeroa. If you don't know what that is, use the amazing Google powers you have been blessed with.

    5.) Confession time! Who's your crush/lover?

    I don't have one. I'm being legit. I mean sure, I've had the usual 'school' crushes, but I'm over them after I realised I was asexual. No guys for me, nope.

    6.) Aww! Have you two kissed yet?

    ...me and who, exactly?

    7.) Classic question! What's your favorite color?

    Blue. Hands down. I also like blue and green sort of fused together.

    8.) Who's your favorite author?

    Ooh...that's a hard one. I'll have to say Derek Landy. His Skulduggery Pleasant books are the bomb.

    9.) Now what's your biggest fear?

    Unlike people infected with the disease known as 'normality', I'm not afraid of heights, spiders or even small spaces. I don't know what I'm afraid of. I'm afraid of everyone I love die, does that count?

    10.) *stiffles a giggle* I'm not laughing... *bursts out laughing* Sorry. Any siblings?

    Why the hell are you laughing at that?! It's a perfectly respectable fear! Hmm... well yeah. I have this older half-sister named Taylor.

    11.) Almost done. Who's your hero?

    My hero would have to be my best friend, Tara. She saved me.

    12.) Okay, who is your worst enemy?

    I would have to say the Demon King Demise. I absolutely despise him. Actually no, the word despise is not enough. There are also a few people I used to be friends with but I refuse to speak a word about them.

    13.) What would you do if your hero and your worst enemy got together?

    I would snap Tara out of her hypnosis.

    14.) Interesting...What would you do if you met your creator?

    Met my who? Jesus?

    Me: Konnichiwa.

    ...do I know you?

    Me: You do now. I created you, by the way.

    ...what?

    Me: This'll take a while, but probably not too long because I created you to be smart...

    15.) Now, what do you want to be when you grow up?

    I've always wanted to be a musician. Or anything concerning music. Maybe an actress. A writer? An artist maybe...? Anything concerning the arts.

    NEW OC QUIZ!:

    Quiz is for Tara Whitley. She's in every story Tanya is.

    1.) Hi!! What's your real name and nickname?

    Hello! My name's Tara.

    2.) That’s interesting...what's your current age?

    I'm actually a few months older than Tanya, but she looks 16. Damn genetics...

    3.) Uh huh. What's your favorite food?

    Rice is really good.

    4.) Your favorite drink?

    I'll just take water. I'm on a diet.

    5.) Confession time! Who's your crush/lover?

    Gross. I don't have one. I'm aromantic. Tanya says it's weird that I hate love, but it's so mushy and icky and bleugh!

    6.) Aww! Have you two kissed yet?

    ...wait, are you talking about me and Tanya? That's so gross! She's my senpai! I don't kiss my senpai! ...though there was this one time where I tried to eat her...

    7.) Classic question! What's your favorite color?

    I like green a lot.

    8.) Who's your favorite author?

    I don't really read that much... I like dragons, though. Dragon books, I like.

    9.) Now what's your biggest fear?

    I don't see why everyone's afraid of clowns. Clowns are meant to make you smile! Clowns are awesome! Like the Joker! Oh, right, wrong subject. Uhm... I dunno what I'm afraid of. I hate wearing dresses, does that count?

    10.) *stiffles a giggle* I'm not laughing... *bursts out laughing* Sorry. Any siblings?

    blushes* S-shut up... and yeah, I've got two younger brothers. They're annoying.

    11.) Almost done. Who's your hero?

    BATMAN. OH MY GOD BATMAN. HE IS THE BEST. AND ALSO JOKER. JOKER IS AWESOME.

    And... probably Tanz and Link as well. Link is just awesome in general, and Tanz... hoo. We have the awesomest bromance in the history of the world. Yeah, I'd have to say Tanz would be my hero. Yeah. Tanz is awesome.

    12.) Okay, who is your worst enemy?

    GHIRAHIM GOD I HATE HIM SO MUCH IF HE IS 500 MILES TOO CLOSE TO LINK, ZELDA OR TANZ THEN I WILL DECAPITATE AND DISMEMBER HIM AND THROW HIM IN ELDIN VOLCANO AS I LAUGH AT HIS SLOWLY BURNING CORPSE.

    13.) What would you do if your hero and your worst enemy got together?

    I WOULD MURDER HIIIIM!

    14.) Interesting...What would you do if you met your creator?

    If I met who? Jesus? I'm not even Christian, what the hell?

    Me: Hellu.

    Oh, hi.

    Me: I'm your creator, by the way.

    ...wha?

    15.) Now, what do you want to be when you grow up?

    I really want to be a psychiatrist! Tanz could help me, she 100% supports me like the awesome senpai she is!

    NEW OC QUIZ!:

    Quiz is for Staci Zephyrine. She's just an OC I've yet to use. So yeah.

    1.) Hi!! What's your real name and nickname?

    Bonjour Comment allez-vous? Je m'apelle Staci Zephyrine. Oh, right... sorry, I'm guessing you don't speak French, my apologies. Hello, how are you? My name is Staci Zephyrine, and on occasion some people call me Stace. No 'ee' on the end.

    2.) That’s interesting...what's your current age?

    ...I don't actually know, love. *Laughs* That's funny, though I'm guessing about 25-ish, maybe 26?

    3.) Uh huh. What's your favorite food?

    I LOVE cupcakes. If someone made me a cupcake every day, I'd work for them for free.

    4.) Your favorite drink?

    Anything but coffee. I don't like coffee. Though wine and tea do go good with cupcakes...

    5.) Confession time! Who's your crush/lover?

    Quoi?! U-uhm... I...can't answer that...

    6.) Aww! Have you two kissed yet?

    ...peut-être...

    7.) Classic question! What's your favorite color?

    I absolutely adore purple. Purple and brown. They mix very well together.

    8.) Who's your favorite author?

    I very much enjoy J.K.Rowling's Harry Potter books. And is it true that she's releasing a new one soon?

    9.) Now what's your biggest fear?

    Dirt. And coffee.

    10.) *stiffles a giggle* I'm not laughing... *bursts out laughing* Sorry. Any siblings?

    Don't laugh! Those are perfectly respectable fears, non? And yes, I have an older sister.

    11.) Almost done. Who's your hero?

    Whoever invented cupcakes.

    12.) Okay, who is your worst enemy?

    Whoever invented coffee.

    13.) What would you do if your hero and your worst enemy got together?

    Cupcakes and coffee? Isn't that what American police officers eat on a daily basis? Wait...no, that's donuts.

    14.) Interesting...What would you do if you met your creator?

    Who? God? I'd probably keel over.

    Me: Bonjour, Staci...

    Oh, bonjour.

    Me: I'm your creator.

    ...quoi?

    Me: Let me explain. *explains*

    ...*keels over*

    15.) Now, what do you want to be when you grow up?

    Oh, I work as a maid for anyone who needs one. And believe me when I say I make a lot of money because my cleaning is spot-on, if you'll pardon the pun.

    NEW OC QUIZ!:

    Quiz is for Gwendalynn Zephyrinne. She's also just an OC I've yet to use.

    1.) Hi!! What's your real name and nickname?

    Hmm. You don't look too filthy... Well, how do you do? I am Lady Gwendalynn Adelaide Zephyrinne, Duchess of France. Please do not call me 'self-proclaimed' as many others do and do not confuse me with that lowly peasant, Staci.

    2.) That’s interesting...what's your current age?

    ...! How rude to ask a lady her age! If you must know, I'm only 26!

    3.) Uh huh. What's your favorite food?

    I must admit... I do enjoy escargot.

    4.) Your favorite drink?

    I do like coffee. I'm ashamed to admit that I'm not big a fan of wine. I only drink it to appear lady-like.

    5.) Confession time! Who's your crush/lover?

    I am currently being betrothed to someone, but I have no interest in him.

    6.) Aww! Have you two kissed yet?

    Not interested, you fool.

    7.) Classic question! What's your favorite color?

    I do enjoy pink. But black and white do go together quite well.

    8.) Who's your favorite author?

    Oh! I love reading William Shakespeare. His plays are superb! Not to mention Edgar Allen Poe is a great author.

    9.) Now what's your biggest fear?

    Peasants. Honestly, do they know the meaning of a bath?

    10.) *stiffles a giggle* I'm not laughing... *bursts out laughing* Sorry. Any siblings?

    Unfortunately.

    11.) Almost done. Who's your hero?

    I'd have to say myself. Just look at me, aren't I gorgeous? No wonder that low-life chose to be betrothed to me.

    12.) Okay, who is your worst enemy?

    The low-life who chose to betroth me. And also people who can't even afford a gallon of milk.

    13.) What would you do if your hero and your worst enemy got together?

    How could you even suggest that?!

    14.) Interesting...What would you do if you met your creator?

    If I met dieu? Nonsense, I am dieu.

    15.) Now, what do you want to be when you grow up?

    I'm very happy with where I am, thank you. Now go away.

    OC Quiz!!!

    (Found this on DarkHorseBlueSky's profile! It's about as long as mine! Actually, mine might be a little longer...)

    Step 1: List 8 OCs of yours.

    1) Stella Lucinda Phoenixwright

    2) Sonya Phoenixwright

    3) Jack Phoenixwright

    4) Tanya William Hackett

    5) Tara Whitley

    6) Staci Zephyrine

    7) Gwendalynn Adelaide Zephyrinne ((spelled like that on purpose))

    8) Jaya Fumetsu Inochi

    Step 2: Answer questions.

    1) Who is your favourite?

    I love them all, but I especially like how Staci and Stella turned out.

    2) Who is your least favourite?

    I'd have to say Jack, mainly because he's so underdeveloped. Even I don't know that much about him.

    3) Who is the most developed?

    I'd say Stella, because she was one of the first ones I made.

    4) Which would you want to date if they magically came to life?

    Jack is the only male, but I don't know that much about him so... probably... I don't even know. Any, just not Gwen.

    5) If you were stuck in a burning building, what would 3 do?

    Probably try and save me. I should go develop his character.

    6) Name one thing you regret about one of your OCs:

    Not developing Jack's character.

    7) Which OC would make the best parent?

    Stella, hands down. She likes people and is naturally a good leader, so I'd say Stella.

    8) Which of your OCs is most likely to end up in jail?

    Staci. Definitely Staci. She works as an undercover assassin.

    9) 8 is in the future! What job does he/she have?

    Jaya would be a spy. She's very stealthy.

    10) Name 1's catch-phrase! (If they don't have one make it up)

    Sometimes the right decision is one you will hate.

    11) Do all your OCs live together?

    God no. Some are a few thousand years into the past, and some aren't even human

    12) Are there any pairings in your OC listing?

    I friendship Tanya / Tara. But I secretly ship them romantically

    13) 7 switches bodies with you. How do they react at the end of the day?

    Gwendalynn in my body: UWAHHH! I'VE SWITCHED BODIES WITH A FILTHY PEASANT!

    Me in Gwen's body: JESUS CHRIST YOUR FUCKING CORSET IS TIGHT

    14) Now randomly select an OC from your list!

    Staci!

    15) That OC you just chose? They think they're Superman and is about to jump off a building, what happens?

    Stella would probably swoop in and save her with the awesome wings I blessed her with.

    16) Would 2 prefer the beach or the mountains?

    Sonya would prefer the mountains. She thinks that a bird's eye view of the world is beautiful. That and she loves it when Stella flies her. She also sunburns easily.

    17) Would 1 battle a shark?

    If she absolutely needed to. And she'd probably win.

    18) Which OCs hate each other?

    None of them really hate each other, but Gwen dislikes Staci very much. She believes that she's a filthy commoner with no life.

    19) Which OC did you create first? And last?

    I created Stella first, and Gwendalynn last.

    20) If those two were fighting, who would win?

    Stella. Totally Stella. She sword-fights while Gwendalynn doesn't even cook for herself.

    21) What are 1 and 2's favourite foods?

    Stella likes meat. Sonya doesn't eat much at all, and when she does eat, it's mostly greens.

    22) 2 and 8 meet each other. What would happen?

    They would probably get along very well since neither talks all that much.

    23) If 4, 5, 6 and 7 went out drinking, what would happen?

    Tara would get kicked out because she's too young, Tanya would probably be admitted because she looks older, Staci would drink nothing but wine and Gwendalynn would run out screaming because the pub is too filthy.

    24) What would be the weirdest pairing?

    Anyone x Anyone (except Tanya x Tara)

    Chose 10 of your OC's. Or ten of your favorite people.(like friends, family, celebrities. Anyone you think is cool.) But you can't choose yourself.

    1. Alreal Rosso

    2. Brandr Blue

    3. Cienfuegos Vio

    4. Decha Black

    5. Etheldreda Verde

    6. Faizel Grey

    7. Stella Phoenixwright

    8. Staci Zephyrinne

    9. Elphias Knightley

    10. Morris Knightley

    1) 4 invites 3 and 8 to dinner at their house. What happens?

    Decha would wonder why on Earth Staci and Cien are so obsessed with purple.

    2) 9 tries to get 5 to go to a yoga class. What happens?

    Etheldreda only does it because he has beautiful eyes

    3) You need to stay at a friend’s house for the night. Do you choose 1 or 6?

    Faizel would just not talk at all as I was there, so definitely Alreal. That way I have another extrovert to talk to.

    4) 2 and 7 are making out. 10 walks in...Their reaction?

    ...*takes a picture and walks off*

    5) 3 falls in love with 6. 8 is jealous. What happens?

    A jealous Staci is bad, even if Cien has awesome purple hair. Faizel should watch out.

    6) 4 jumps you in a dark alleyway. Who comes to your rescue? 10, 2 or 7?

    Hopefully Stella. She is unstoppable.

    7) 1 decides to start a cooking show. 15 minutes later what is happening?

    She forgets that it's a cooking show and just starts talking about Attack on Titan.

    9) 3 has to marry either 8, 4 or 9. Who do they chose?

    She would be caught between marrying Elphias and Decha. Decha is grumpy, but they get along fine.

    10) 7 kidnaps 2 and demands something from 5 for 2's release. What is it?

    "STOP HATING EACH OTHER"

    11) You get to meet either 1 or 6. Who do you chose?

    Definitely Alreal.

    12) 10 challenges 4 to a chariot race. Why?

    Morris lost a bet.

    13) Everyone gangs up on 3. Does 3 have a chance in hell?

    Cien is doomed.

    14) Everyone is invited to 2 and 10 wedding except for 8. How do they react?

    "W-why wasn't I invited?! I could've catered!"

    15) Why is 6 afraid of 7?

    Because Stella has a sword and knows how to use it.

    16) 10 gathers everyone around to tell them a fairy tale. How does it go?

    Nothing bad happens, spectacularly.

    17) 1 arrives late for 2 and 10's wedding. What happens? And why are they late?

    Brandr: Dammit Alreal, you've got to stop doing this!

    Alreal: I'm sorry! I passed these two people pubicaly cosplaying my OTP and I couldn't resist!

    18) 5 and 9 get roaring drunk and end up at your house. What happens?

    Elphias casting spells on everything to turn them pink while Ethel is crying into a pillow because her hair is the same colour as a leaf.

    19) 3,8,6 and 4 all go to the zoo for 8's birthday party. How does it go? What presents do they get 8?

    Staci nearly starts crying at how filthy the enclosures are while the others stand around awkwardly. They buy her gourmet cupcakes to cheer her up.

    20) Everyone gets together and starts protesting something outside of your house. What are they protesting? What do you do?

    They're protesting all their horrible backstories and fashion senses. I intend to do nothing because they deserve to suffer.

    21) 9 murders 2’s best friend. What does 2 do to get back at them?

    Brandr would try to aim for Morris as her target of revenge but she just cannot bring herself to harm him. She instead wanders off and doesn't come back.

    22) 6 and 1 are in mortal danger. Only one of them can survive. Does 6 save themselves or 1?

    Faizel is a lot of things, but they are by no means brave. They would probably just panic until Alreal does something.

    23) Which one of them is most likely to fail at life?

    Definitely Decha.

    24) 5 is trapped in a cave. 10 comes to rescue them. What happens?

    Morris, even though he's a squib, does every little trick he can to get her out.

    25) 3 starts a day camp. What happens?

    Cien gets rich.

    26) 4,6, and 7 are doing the Hokey-Pokey. 8 walks in. What happens?

    Doesn't even question what's going on and joins in.

    27) 1 starts to write a fan-fiction where 9 and 10 are going out. What is 2's reaction?

    "Alreal for GOD'S SAKE THEY'RE BROTHERS"

    28) 7 makes an apple pie. Is it any good?

    It's pretty good, but Staci's are better.

    29) 8 and 3 go camping. For some reason they forget to bring any food. What do they do?

    Hunting time!

    30) While they are camping, they run into The Blair Witch. What do they do? (If you haven't seen that movie pretend they ran into the Bogyman or something like that instead.)

    Cien screams and runs while Staci stays behind. "Finally. Fresh meat."

    31) The quiz is over. What does everyone go to do now?

    Argue about politics.

    How much am I worth?

    Natural Hair Colour:

    [x] Brown - $100
    [ ] Blonde - $50
    [ ] Black - $15
    [ ] Bald - $5
    [ ] Other - $75

    Total: $100

    Eye Colour:
    [x] Brown - $50
    [ ] Green - $75
    [ ] Blue - $150
    [ ]Hazel - $100
    [ ] Other - $15

    Total so far: $150

    Height:
    [ ] Over 7′ - $200
    [ ] 6′8″ to 7′ - $175
    [ ] 6′0″ to 6′7″ - $150
    [ ] 5′5″ to 5′11″ - $75
    [x] 5′4″ to 5′10″ - $85
    [ ]Under 5′4 - $0

    Total so far: $235

    Age:
    [ ] 50 to 56 - $175
    [ ] 46 to 50 - $150
    [ ] 41 to 45 - $125
    [ ] 31 to 40 - $100
    [ ] 26 to 30 - $75
    [ ] 21 to 25 - $50
    [ ] 19 to 20 - $25
    [X] 0 to 18 - $100

    Total so far: $335

    Birth Order:
    [ ] Twins or more than twins - $750
    [ ] First born - $320
    [ ] Only Child - $250
    [x ] Second born - $150-
    ] Middle child - $100
    [ ] Last Born - $100
    [ ] Third born - $550
    [ ] Fourth born - $300
    [ ] Fifth born - $400
    [ ] Sixth born -$215

    Total so far: $485

    Drink?
    [ ] I did like once - $400
    [ ] Only Holidays - $250
    [ ] Sometimes - $215
    [ ] YES - $200
    [ ] Only weekends - $300
    [ ] Every other day - $50
    [ ] Once a day - $15
    [ ] I live from the bottle - $Bankrupt$
    [x] No - $600

    Total so far: $1085

    Vision?
    [ ] perfect vision - $400
    [ ] need or have glasses/contacts but don’t wear them - $200
    [ ] No correction - $100
    [x] Glasses - $50
    [ ] Contacts - $25
    [ ] Surgical correction - $100

    Total so far: $1135

    Shoe Size:
    ] 13 - $300
    [ ] 12 and a half to 13 - $250
    [ ]11 to 12 - $400
    [x] 7 to 10 - $50
    ] Under 7- $450

    Total so far: $1185

    Favourite Colours (multiple):
    [X] Green - $750
    [ ] Red - $600
    [ ] Black - $100
    [ ] Yellow -$475
    [ ]Brown - $300
    [x] Purple - $225
    ]White - $400
    [x] Aqua - $350
    [ ] Orange - $300
    [x] Blue - $300
    [ ] Pink - $100
    [x ] Other - $500

    Total: $3240

    Did you use a calculator to add it all up?
    [ ] Yes - $0
    [x] Nope - add $1000
    [ ] some - $750

    WHOA I'm worth $4240 buckaroos!

    Pick the month you were born on...

    1(Jan) - I shot
    2 (Feb) -I ran shirtless with
    3 (Mar) - I stabbed
    4 (Apr) - I killed
    5 (May) - I slapped
    6 (June)- I robbed
    7 (July) - I kissed
    8 (Aug) - I went out with
    9 (Sept) - I needed
    10 (Oct) - I hugged
    11 (Nov) - I ran naked with
    12 (Dec) - I banged

    Pick the day (number) you were born on...

    01 - a rock star
    02 - my boyfriend
    03 -a hobo
    04 - a homeless guy
    05 - the one that i love
    06 -the trojan man
    07 - the cookie monster
    08 - a cute girl
    09 - a bowl of cereal
    10 - a mop
    11 - a tooth brush
    12 - a hobo
    13 -a dog
    14 - an ismoniac
    15 - a crack head
    16 - a cat
    17 - a bag of candy
    18 - the kool-aid man
    19 - an Easter egg
    20 - tori the snowman
    21 - a chicken
    22 - my crush
    23 - yo momma
    24 - a Mexican
    25 - a teletubby
    26 - a condom
    27 - a gangsta
    28 - Paris Hilton
    29 - Barney the Dinosaur
    30 - my ex boyfriend
    31 - my lover

    I stabbed...

    ...HELL YEAH

    Cinderella walked on broken glass.

    Sleeping Beauty let a whole lifetime pass.

    Belle fell in love with a hideous beast.

    Jasmine married a common thief.

    Ariel walked on land for love and life.

    Snow White barely escaped a knife.

    It was all about blood, sweat and tears,

    Because love means facing your biggest fears.

    Birth Months:

    JANUARY:
    Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people's flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very stubborn and money cautious.

    FEBRUARY:
    Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive (maybe just a little...) Sexy (Excuse me?!). Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizes dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.

    MARCH:
    Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate. Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others. Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves traveling. Loves attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home decors. Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody.

    APRIL:
    Active and dynamic. Decisive and hasty but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Emotional. Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory. Moving. Motivates oneself and others. Sickness usually of the head and chest. Sexy in a way that only their lover can see.

    MAY:
    Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.

    JUNE:
    Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay (Why there aren't many stories are up). Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Able to show character. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds (Never had one in my life). Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand conscious. Executive. Stubborn.

    JULY:
    Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Likes to be quiet. Homely person. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach and dieting problems. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.

    AUGUST:
    Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and fearless. Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride in oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends.

    SEPTEMBER:
    Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point out people's mistakes. Likes to criticize. Stubborn. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal but not always honest. Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves leisure and traveling. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Very choosy, especially in relationships. Systematic.

    OCTOBER:
    Loves to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to take things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care of what others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easily influenced. Easily loses confidence. Loves children.

    NOVEMBER:
    Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality. Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative but amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted. If there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give up. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciate praises. High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions. Unpredictable.

    DECEMBER:
    Loyal and generous. Sexy. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention. Loves to be loved. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short tempered. Changing personality. Not egotistic. Take high pride in oneself. Hates restrictions. Loves to joke. Good sense of humor. Logical.

    1. Hold your breath
    2. Go to your profile and add this

    3. Still holding your breath
    4. If you made it, you're a good kisser
    GASP! I MADE IT! YAY!

    -SO ANYWAYS-

    Yup... this crazy too-long profile is me

    If you love Hetalia, Zelda, FMA or Shiki, feel free to PM me! I don't even care what religion you are, anyone who could bear my entire profile is awesome

    Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

    100 Things Nations Cannot Do by AsianAnimeGamer reviews
    A set of guidelines and rules set down to ensure order and progress at the World Meetings. Each nation will come forth with their own 100 rules stating what they cannot do.
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 27 - Words: 38,471 - Reviews: 148 - Favs: 151 - Follows: 149 - Updated: 4h - Published: 6/4/2014
    Protecting the Boy Who Lived by The SoulEater Alchemist reviews
    In order to obtain, something of equal value must be lost. That is the law of Equivalent Exchange. THAT was what he believed in. Not this hocus pocus crap! Edward fell into this world, and now he has to help save it. But what's that got to do with the boy he's been recruited to protect?
    Crossover - Harry Potter & Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,502 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 20 - Published: 8/27 - Harry P., Edward E.
    The Price of Wisdom by Phanfan925 reviews
    Hetalia/Hogwarts X-over England decides to teach at Hogwarts to keep an eye on the Boy Who Lived. But the Trio become suspicious of their new professor... Can England keep his status as a country a secret? And what does Voldemort want with him?
    Crossover - Hetalia - Axis Powers & Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Family - Chapters: 39 - Words: 188,352 - Reviews: 1830 - Favs: 779 - Follows: 977 - Updated: 8/25 - Published: 1/1/2014 - Harry P., England/Britain
    Propane Nightmares by the spoon raven reviews
    It was naive to assume that everything would just go back to the way it was before. A year after the fall of the demon king, Link finds himself more restless than ever, his unconscious mind plagued with tribulation. Are these merely bad dreams, or do the threads of fate run much deeper than that? Ghirahim & Link central fic, warnings: violence, dark
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: M - English - Angst/Suspense - Chapters: 24 - Words: 120,180 - Reviews: 323 - Favs: 171 - Follows: 216 - Updated: 8/11 - Published: 3/10/2013 - Link, Ghirahim
    Harry Potter and the Alchemist Brothers by Blue Teller reviews
    A few years passed since the Promised Day. Ed and Winry are happily married, Al proposed to May, everything is just like it's supposed to be... What can go wrong? But then, a mysterious man with strange foreign powers steals the last Philosopher Stone from Central and of course, Edward has to go after him. But what he and Al will do, when they end up in an entirely different world?
    Crossover - Harry Potter & Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 10 - Words: 107,783 - Reviews: 160 - Favs: 172 - Follows: 285 - Updated: 8/10 - Published: 3/22 - Harry P., Nicolas F., Alphonse E., Edward E.
    The Male Witch Arthur by Hi-I am a Fan reviews
    (Takes place after the anime, sorry.) The DWMA has received several reports of a male witch. Something which is unheard of. Maka and Soul are given the mission of investigating these claims further. Thanks to Stein, they have managed to find a suspect. A man by the name of Arthur Kirkland. Nation names will be used. Slight MakaxSoul
    Crossover - Soul Eater & Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 20 - Words: 52,807 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 57 - Follows: 57 - Updated: 8/3 - Published: 2/16 - Japan, England/Britain, Norway, Romania
    Ronald Weasley and the Very Friendly Horcrux by The QAS reviews
    After a fight with his friends, an indignant Ron Weasley abandons his search for horcruxes and storms off into the forest whereupon he comes into contact with a very strange muggle boy in a suit of armor . . . "Never trust anything that can think for itself if you can't see where it keeps its brain."
    Crossover - Harry Potter & Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 18 - Words: 54,621 - Reviews: 313 - Favs: 256 - Follows: 453 - Updated: 7/10 - Published: 8/24/2014 - Harry P., Ron W., Hermione G., Alphonse E.
    Insomnia by tikitikirevenge reviews
    Sun-dappled glades, ash-coated worlds: a retelling of Majora's Mask.
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 40 - Words: 197,587 - Reviews: 1016 - Favs: 728 - Follows: 618 - Updated: 6/23 - Published: 5/10/2008 - Link, Tatl
    Two DADA Teachers-- Neither Belong by luluhrh reviews
    It's Harry's fourth year, and there's a new guy at Hogwarts. . . Edward Elric has the eyes of a werewolf, he says he's a wizard, and he has many odd quirks. Who is he really? The Golden Trio are going to find out. And why are there two Defense Against the Dark Arts teachers? This year's going to be a mess. . . Canon pairings for both! FMA:B! Rated T because of Ed. Love ya! lulu
    Crossover - Harry Potter & Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 19,812 - Reviews: 137 - Favs: 251 - Follows: 415 - Updated: 6/15 - Published: 12/3/2014 - [Hermione G., Ron W.] Harry P., Edward E.
    Welcome to Our World by Kagome Narome reviews
    "She was expecting a world she could call her own—and she got it. She WASN'T expecting the extraordinary journey or the eccentric friends she'd meet, the perilous situations she'd face...and she most certainly wasn't expecting to fall in love with a Demon Lord. No, Gina wasn't expecting that at all." He smiled. "And that's exactly why I chose her." GhirahimXOC
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Romance - Chapters: 46 - Words: 163,497 - Reviews: 250 - Favs: 124 - Follows: 128 - Updated: 6/10 - Published: 7/12/2012 - [Ghirahim, OC]
    Until I Met Him by Demon Vampire180
    Noiz knows how it feels to wade through the darkness.
    DRAMAtical Murder/ドラマティカル マーダー - Rated: K - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 165 - Favs: 1 - Published: 6/9 - Aoba, Noiz
    Secrets In The Basement by Orpah reviews
    Germany tells Italy to never go into the basement. But what will Italy see when he does?
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 17 - Words: 21,586 - Reviews: 150 - Favs: 136 - Follows: 160 - Updated: 6/7 - Published: 8/26/2009 - N. Italy, Germany
    333 Ways to Get Kicked Out of the UN by iTorchic reviews
    Based off of '333 Ways to Get Kicked Out of Walmart' and '333 and More Ways to Get Kicked Out of HQ'. Rated T. Crack. Contains all characters and rare instances where the thing known as sanity appears. Winner of 'Best Anthology' at the 2015 Hetalia Awards.
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 71 - Words: 34,402 - Reviews: 2222 - Favs: 1,291 - Follows: 801 - Updated: 5/25 - Published: 1/19/2011 - Complete
    Sleeping Dogs by SeventhStrife reviews
    Aoba should have learned from Koujaku. You can't run from your past.
    DRAMAtical Murder/ドラマティカル マーダー - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,007 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 5/21 - Published: 5/7 - [Aoba, Koujaku]
    Scars and the Past by Kiki Sparklehonda reviews
    A series of slightly (read: very) depressing one-shots about the countries, their pasts, and why they have their own seperate psychological scars. I'm serious about depressing, I cried writing this first chapter.
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,714 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 5/5 - Published: 2/11/2013
    Legend of Zelda Total Drama Island! by UnleashTheDinosaurs reviews
    22 characters from all over Hyrule have signed up to take part in a reality TV show called LoZ Total Drama Island! They will split into two teams and take part in dangerous, drama filled challenges. The team that loses the challenge will have to vote off one of their fellow team members. What will happen on LoZ...Total...Drama...Island? T for mild swearing and violence.
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 21 - Words: 207,561 - Reviews: 246 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 66 - Updated: 4/22 - Published: 1/21/2013 - [Vio, Shadow Link]
    The Book of Hetalia Logic by Mitsuki Horenake reviews
    Welcome newcomers to the Hetalia world! Getting started in a strange new fandom and the Wiki pages are down? Here's a good place to look! From how to write a character in relation to the image of Himaruya to the fangames in existance, whatever you need to know, this will have you covered! Anonymous reviews are open, so ask what questions you have!
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 39 - Words: 82,910 - Reviews: 371 - Favs: 435 - Follows: 241 - Updated: 3/26 - Published: 12/26/2011
    Professor England by Logfella reviews
    The murders never stop, the pain in England's heart from his people's deaths never stop. How will England overcome this dire situation to stop Voldemort? Well it's obvious, protect and keep watch over Harry Potter, the boy who's foretold in the prophecy. How? By becoming a Professor at Hogwarts of course.
    Crossover - Harry Potter & Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Mystery - Chapters: 35 - Words: 59,756 - Reviews: 238 - Favs: 222 - Follows: 307 - Updated: 3/18 - Published: 6/20/2014 - Harry P., England/Britain
    Switchblade by Flying Robin reviews
    APH 2p!Australia and 2p!New Zealand Warning: blood
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 767 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/13 - Australia, New Zealand - Complete
    Answering Questions by TheMultiColoredPencil reviews
    Life is just answering questions. Learning new things, answering questions. Getting asked questions and answering them. It'd be nice to not have to answer questions for once.
    Harvest Moon - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,985 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 3/10 - Published: 3/9
    Nephilim by Valkyrja Jaeger reviews
    Life as a trainee, constantly waiting to become an angel is hard, especially when there is a demon king continuously trying to seduce you. All seemed to be going well until the day the Wings were going to be given. That's when it all went straight to hell. Angel!Eren x Demon!Levi with side shippings. AU
    Shingeki no Kyojin/進撃の巨人 - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 22 - Words: 91,336 - Reviews: 468 - Favs: 415 - Follows: 560 - Updated: 3/8 - Published: 1/25/2014 - Eren Y., Levi
    Majora's Mask by FakeJake93 reviews
    After stumbling upon the troubled land of Termina, seemingly cut off from the rest of the world and doomed to an inevitable apocalypse, Link finds his own past reflected all around him. He must deal with these echoes while attempting to prevent the world's end.
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 81 - Words: 712,483 - Reviews: 1093 - Favs: 363 - Follows: 252 - Updated: 2/18 - Published: 10/26/2010 - Link, Skull Kid, Tatl - Complete
    Hasta la Vista, Baby by Kawaii Dream reviews
    In which Lovino finds that the truth can be overwhelmingly heartbreaking, and Antonio's past mistakes forms a void in his heart. On the other hand, Ludwig and Antonio are full of regrets and grief; but so are Lutz and Andres. They are determined to take back what was theirs - and they're not going down without a fight. 1P!Hetalia, 2P!Hetalia, and Spamano/GerIta ensues.
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 4 - Words: 18,163 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 69 - Follows: 99 - Updated: 1/30 - Published: 5/30/2014 - [S. Italy/Romano, Spain] Parallel Nations
    Presentable Liberty: A Promised Meeting by Princess of Veriana reviews
    An alternate ending from Charlotte's point of view for the game Presentable Liberty. Will she see her only friend? Rated T for depressive and suicidal thoughts.
    Misc. Games - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,386 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 9 - Published: 1/12 - Complete
    Tools by the spoon raven reviews
    He was not a soldier built for war, not a weapon to be tempered, but a mere human child with far too much resting on his shoulders. GhiraLink, Oneshot
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,418 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 5 - Published: 12/29/2014
    Witch Hunt by Lady of the Spirit reviews
    He was mine first. (Oneshot for the song "Witch Hunt".)
    Vocaloid - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,121 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/6/2014 - Miku H., Luka M., Gakupo K./Gackpoid - Complete
    Tale Of The New World Twins And The Chamber Of Secrets by ithefantasticfanatic reviews
    Hogwarts has opened its doors yet again and the Nations are back and odder than ever. Why do they always carry around that blue liquid and what's the deal with them changing colors when mad? And hearing voices is definitely not a good sign. Welcome to the sequel of Tale Of The New World Twins with more drama, and A Russian transfer with some secrets, what new will be learned?
    Crossover - Harry Potter & Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 29 - Words: 90,678 - Reviews: 117 - Favs: 113 - Follows: 141 - Updated: 12/3/2014 - Published: 8/27/2014 - Harry P., Draco M., America, Canada
    Essence by Twi Rinku reviews
    Link is at the surface while Zelda is in Skyloft catching up on her studies. He's weaponless and defenseless and a certain person take advantage of that to attack. This certain someone is someone that Link never wanted to see again. Though this foe has a different plan for the hero, what does he want that he doesn't have that Link has?
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 4 - Words: 11,683 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 11/27/2014 - Published: 7/10/2013 - Link, Zelda, Ghirahim - Complete
    Italy's World by Kiki Sparklehonda reviews
    Italy gets picked on at yet another World Meeting, and this time he's had enough. He decides to prove how strong he really is. Can the others save him, or will he just manage to take over the world? And what's this? Who's helping him? Things just got a whole lot more complicated. (BEING RETYPED BECAUSE GRAMMAR)
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 6 - Words: 3,525 - Reviews: 51 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 60 - Updated: 11/25/2014 - Published: 1/18/2013 - N. Italy, S. Italy/Romano, Canada
    HetaOni by The Deceiving Maiden reviews
    After a World Meeting, America suggested to 9 of his friends to play the Test of Courage in a mansion that was said to be haunted. They split into their old WWII groups to scare each other once it's found. But little did they know that the mansion rendered them all as humans and the THINGS in the mansion were determined to kill them all. And most of them were all holding a secret.
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Horror/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 22 - Words: 113,125 - Reviews: 354 - Favs: 522 - Follows: 475 - Updated: 11/12/2014 - Published: 8/15/2010 - Japan, N. Italy
    INTERVIEWS!: The Legend of Zelda by Kingdom Legends reviews
    This is an interview of the game The Legend of zelda. Zetra asked some of her friends who have never ever EVER played zelda a bunch of questions about Zelda to test their gaming knowledge. They have never planned to play it... but they will when we're done with 'em! We get plenty of strange answers and funny reactions whenever they learn the truth! Well, hope you enjoy!-KLs. :D
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,931 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 10/31/2014 - Published: 7/8/2014
    What does the fox say? (APH Australia) by Flying Robin reviews
    Just a short, meaningless little fanfic.
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 498 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/24/2014 - Complete
    333 Things Nations do when Drunk by Animefangirl101 reviews
    Have you ever wondered what countries do when they're drunk? Well here are 333 things they do! Based off of "333 Ways to get Kicked out of Walmart"
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 9,417 - Reviews: 213 - Favs: 100 - Follows: 102 - Updated: 10/20/2014 - Published: 7/31/2014
    Some Things Never Change by TheUndrownedChild reviews
    Some things just never change... England and New Zealand Hetalia.
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: K - English - Family/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 266 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/16/2014
    Bleeding Out by Freya the Mistwolf reviews
    Link has a deep dark secret that could ruin his life, so what would happen if his sworn enemy discovers his secret? How will his friends react when it is revealed that he's been lying to everyone his whole life? Even his best friend, Pipit? Rated M for a reason.
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 12 - Words: 24,862 - Reviews: 44 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 39 - Updated: 9/11/2014 - Published: 9/11/2013 - [Link, Ghirahim] Pipit
    Five Nights at Freddy's: A Poem by The Almighty Pickle Lord XD reviews
    My brothers said my poem was nightmare fuel, so I'm fairly proud of this. Please R and R. T for safety.
    Five Nights at Freddy´s - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 334 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 8 - Published: 9/6/2014
    Tale of the New World Twins by ithefantasticfanatic reviews
    There's something strange about the new students at Hogwarts. With their freaky super strength and military like fighting skills. They seem indestructible and why do they call each other Canada and America when they think no ones looking? Something is going on and Draco and The Trio are on a mission to solve the Case of the New World Twins. Rated for swearing, no shipping.
    Crossover - Harry Potter & Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 21 - Words: 63,985 - Reviews: 49 - Favs: 133 - Follows: 66 - Updated: 8/26/2014 - Published: 8/25/2014 - Harry P., Draco M., America, Canada - Complete
    Utopia by CreamPuffBunny reviews
    Dark Hetalia AU. Feliciano is an innocent human forced to house five powerful demons while they plan to conquer the mortal world using his life force and body as a vessel. Will Feliciano find a way to escape the dark clutches of the Abyss? Or will his relationship with a demon duke change the course of his life for all eternity? GerIta (main) Full summary inside. Multiple pairings.
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 31 - Words: 273,282 - Reviews: 170 - Favs: 149 - Follows: 140 - Updated: 8/24/2014 - Published: 11/30/2013 - [N. Italy, Germany] [America, Russia] - Complete
    Hogwarts and Hetalia by Yurinnii reviews
    The G8 (and China) have been sent to Hogwarts by their bosses! What will happen when they meet the golden trio, and what shenanigans will they get up to? Will their secret be revealed? NO PAIRINGS. Semi-hiatus, sorry everyone!
    Crossover - Harry Potter & Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 32 - Words: 56,151 - Reviews: 600 - Favs: 259 - Follows: 325 - Updated: 8/20/2014 - Published: 4/10/2013 - Harry P., England/Britain, America, Canada
    Out of This World by Lady Dawson reviews
    Complete. Two new roommates, Emily and Joni, find themselves in the world of Star Trek, where they join the Enterprise crew in the mission against Nero and find their places amongst the crew. Along the way, they will discover friendship, love, and themselves. Cowritten with EssentiallyRei. Jim Kirk/oc
    Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 22 - Words: 82,688 - Reviews: 102 - Favs: 97 - Follows: 108 - Updated: 8/19/2014 - Published: 6/3/2013 - [J. Kirk, OC] Spock - Complete
    Deadly Secret by Sabraia reviews
    The existence of personifications of nations is a powerful secret, to be kept from all but a select few in each nation's government. If this secret ever falls into the wrong hands, the resulting conflict could spell disaster for the entire world. / No pairings, rated T for later violence and some language.
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 55 - Words: 119,981 - Reviews: 244 - Favs: 161 - Follows: 158 - Updated: 7/18/2014 - Published: 8/18/2013 - Germany, England/Britain, America - Complete
    Tales of Another World by Nyapoop14 reviews
    It's a hard job to rule your empire with your bare hands. It's a hard job to manage your empire in the 21st century. In other words, it's hard for a 2p! Nation to do all of these, and each one are in charge of something. Join the 2p! nations as we venture through their daily lives (past and present) controlling their advanced society and ruling their people as part monarchs.
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 7,026 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 6/25/2014 - Published: 11/23/2013
    The Blood-Red Incident by Sapphire Host reviews
    "In the room immediately adjacent to the foyer of the Sage's hospital, the doctor prepared the words he would use when he faced the patient's loved ones." When one of the four Links suffers an injury in battle, the rest of the team is left to lament in the possibility that one of their teammates might never be the same again. (Complete)
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 14 - Words: 19,389 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 6/7/2014 - Published: 4/24/2013 - Blue, Red, Vio, Green - Complete
    Welcome to my perfect world by AmberArctic reviews
    'Welcome to my perfect world' will be an Angelica POV based on the Rugrats Theory. The story follows Angelica through the traumas of her childhood and how as she grows older her schizophrenia further takes hold of her life. Later as a teen she becomes involved with drugs but this story will have a couple of twists and even a creepypasta romance. Will she find her perfect world?
    Mythology - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,446 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 5/20/2014 - Published: 2/9/2014
    Southerly Rivals by Mako1 reviews
    A series of ficlets about the ongoing friendly rivalry between Australia and New Zealand.
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 13,475 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 4/25/2014 - Published: 12/29/2010 - Australia, New Zealand
    Riren one-shots by ErenLevijeager reviews
    One-shots about Eren x Levi.
    Attack on Titan/進撃の巨人 - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,342 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 32 - Updated: 4/4/2014 - Published: 2/1/2014 - Eren Y., Levi A.
    I WILL NEVER STOP! by Zelda maniac reviews
    Ganondorf is tired of losing to link and being called "Ganondork" one day, He got the GREATEST. PLAN. EVER! I did this out of boredom so it might be a bit TOO wired but OH WELL! R&R please! Don't ask why this story is here lol
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 680 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 3/16/2014 - Published: 1/22/2014 - Link, Zelda, Ganondorf
    HetaOni by Cirydae reviews
    A written adaptation of the popular HetaOni videos.
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Horror/Mystery - Chapters: 6 - Words: 23,273 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 80 - Follows: 80 - Updated: 3/7/2014 - Published: 5/18/2012 - Japan
    Awesome meets Awesome by puzzlingnerd57 reviews
    What happens when Prussia meets Black Star? Awesome. One-shot. I don't own anything.
    Crossover - Soul Eater & Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 561 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 5 - Published: 2/15/2014 - Complete
    Buon San Valentino: Part 3 by KKtheRipper reviews
    This is what should have happened after the second part of the Buon San Valentino extra episode. One shot. Non-con/lemon/yaoi/GerIta/Spamano
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Romance/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 18,712 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 4 - Published: 2/14/2014 - Germany, N. Italy - Complete
    Not Your Average Zelda Tale! by CupcakePride101 reviews
    TP/Slight SS crossover. This was made for honoring Zelda month before it ends. While playing TP, two girls get sucked into the game, along with a handful of twists along their path! The two teen girls already know that the adventure in there isn't full of rainbows, sunshine, and lollipops. WARNING: Contains OCs and we hope you enjoy!
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 13,460 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 2/2/2014 - Published: 11/26/2013 - Link, Colin, OC
    Fallen Petals by xxxPureRosexxx reviews
    And so the willow tree branches grew, with years passing by and no one to mend them, since the fair princess had forgotten to attend her once beautiful garden... "No!" "Zelda!" ... AU warning.
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,734 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 1/28/2014 - Published: 7/10/2013 - Link, Zelda, Dark Link
    Modern Hyrule by silver neko baka reviews
    A Zelda theme park is a dream come true for most Zelda fans. That's what I thought when I bought the tickets for my friends and I. But when strange happenings begin taking place, we all begin to wonder if there's more to this place than meets the eye.
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 36 - Words: 67,083 - Reviews: 267 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 57 - Updated: 1/28/2014 - Published: 12/24/2011
    Plaything by FabulousBeast reviews
    "Do you remember when I told you that the next time we met, I'd make your ears bleed from the sound of your own screams? Well, I've been thinking...Perhaps corporal punishment is a touch harsh. I might be willing to forgive and forget if you'll strike a deal." Two shot. Ghirahim x Link, M/M
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: M - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 2 - Words: 12,986 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 77 - Follows: 36 - Updated: 1/26/2014 - Published: 12/13/2013 - Link, Ghirahim - Complete
    The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga by Queenie Z reviews
    Meanwhile, in the Hyrulian version of Valhalla, where the Heroes go when they die… A series of cracky shorts featuring all of the Links and their wacky adventures in the afterlife. (This story is currently on HIATUS. Please read the FAQ for more details!)
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 111 - Words: 83,375 - Reviews: 617 - Favs: 529 - Follows: 391 - Updated: 12/7/2013 - Published: 1/16/2012 - Link - Complete
    Beyond Time by TheMultiColoredPencil reviews
    First in a trilogy. I've been planning this for a LONG time! I do not own Legend of Zelda
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,082 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 12/4/2013 - Published: 11/24/2013 - Link, OC
    Within Chains by xBooxBooxBear reviews
    Link is set for his mission as the Goddess's Chosen Hero but ever since he encountered the Fabulous Demon Lord Ghirahim, it seems the demon lord has become obsessed with him. GhiraLink/Yaoi NO LIKE NO LOOK-Discontinued
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 45 - Words: 55,388 - Reviews: 157 - Favs: 121 - Follows: 103 - Updated: 11/20/2013 - Published: 11/2/2012 - [Link, Ghirahim] - Complete
    Legend of Zelda Chatroom by Zelda maniac reviews
    User Zelda Maniac has signed on- Hey everyone Zelda maniac here! Do you wonder what Zelda people do? Everyone shouts, "NO!" YES YOU DO! Ahem, Well I just gave everyone a computer and now they are addicted to it -.-. Let's see what they do on their spare time :3
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 667 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 11/15/2013 - Published: 7/31/2013
    The Best Prank by Darkfoot reviews
    Australia hears something in the middle of the night and gets up to investigate... I wonder what he found... I don't own Hetalia! R&R!
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 850 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 2 - Published: 10/12/2013 - Australia, New Zealand - Complete
    In the Pits by Sorceress of Shadows reviews
    A request from SukiMikora. In which Vio takes care of a very sick Shadow. Light yaoi, if you choose to interpret it that way.
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,840 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 9/14/2013 - Published: 1/27/2013 - Vio, Shadow Link - Complete
    Sight by AKSaga reviews
    Ghirahim and Fi are courting happily now, and everything seems peaceful. Zelda sends Ghirahim into Eldin to scout for increased monster activity, but the extreme heat shatter's Ghira's blade form, causing him to loose his sight at least, and possibly his life. No matter what happens, the lives of everyone involved will forever be changed. Ghira/Fi, third in a trilogy of oneshots.
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,863 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/8/2013 - Fi, Ghirahim - Complete
    Lake Floria by AKSaga reviews
    A small break in their adventures happens, and where that is, hilarity, antics, and friendship follows. Ghira/Fi, written by my dear friend, Paprika01. Second in a trilogy of oneshots.
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,949 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Published: 9/8/2013 - Fi, Ghirahim - Complete
    The Missing Piece: Din's Light by the-lost-melody-four reviews
    A girl and her friend are plucked from their modern day world and dropped into the world of Hyrule. Right from the get go they are faced with danger. What will happen when she becomes Ganon's object of attention? GanonxOC.
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 16 - Words: 74,433 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 64 - Updated: 9/8/2013 - Published: 3/17/2012 - Ganondorf
    Mine by IceFire1212 reviews
    Just a Link x Dark Link yaoi story I came up with on my spare time, enjoy! boy x boy yaoi don't like, don't read.
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 4 - Words: 6,403 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 48 - Updated: 8/27/2013 - Published: 2/2/2013 - Link, Dark Link
    Witch Hunt by rajikka reviews
    "Come listen to this sad story. Come, and don't forget your handkerchief..." A Hetalia version of the Vocaloid song "Witch Hunt" with a few extra tweaks here and there. Done as a standard story, not a song fic. Twoshot! (Main pairing: Romerica)
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Tragedy - Chapters: 2 - Words: 9,605 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 3 - Published: 8/25/2013 - S. Italy/Romano, America - Complete
    101 Symptoms of the Hetalians by soraxtsuna123 reviews
    Title says all. Rated T for safty.
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,232 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 5 - Published: 8/23/2013 - Complete
    The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga: Side Stories by Queenie Z reviews
    The Heroes were a brotherhood bound by destiny and a family rich in love. A collection of less comedic, multi-genre fics set in the universe of "The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga". Some chapters contain a bit of Link x Link.
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Friendship - Chapters: 24 - Words: 30,793 - Reviews: 71 - Favs: 125 - Follows: 112 - Updated: 7/17/2013 - Published: 3/4/2012 - Link
    Random Zelda Interviews! by Demon Princess of Time reviews
    Do you want to know about different Zelda characters? Do you like humor? Then READ THIS! Join me/Demon and the Four Sword Links as we interview the many Zelda characters!
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 15 - Words: 6,419 - Reviews: 74 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 7/11/2013 - Published: 6/17/2013 - Blue, Red, Vio, Green
    The Three of Legend by Demon Princess of Time reviews
    It just started as an ordinary day of playing Zelda games with my friends, and then a Demon Lord kidnapped me and I found myself in a VERY familiar world... Along with my friends. What will happen to us? Rated T for action. LinkxOC
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 19 - Words: 20,777 - Reviews: 103 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 7/10/2013 - Published: 5/25/2013 - Link, Zelda, Ganondorf, Ghirahim
    Memories by AKSaga reviews
    Ghirahim turns good, but what happens when others take a look into his past? Will they like what they find, or wish they had never looked into his mind in the first place? Ghira/Fi, written by my dear friend, Paprika01. First in a trilogy of oneshots.
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,520 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/10/2013 - Fi, Ghirahim - Complete
    In Love With My Shadow by Koro The Silver Wolf reviews
    Hyrule is saved, the four sword can be put to rest, but then again it doesn't have to. Though most of the Links simply want to stick together, one has a matter of unfinished business to attend to. Shadow X Vio
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 9 - Words: 28,065 - Reviews: 70 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 42 - Updated: 7/5/2013 - Published: 6/2/2012 - Vio, Shadow Link
    Zelda Requests! by Demon Princess of Time reviews
    To all people who have ideas of Zelda oneshots, read this and submit an idea of a oneshot and I just might write and post it! Find out the rules inside!
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,244 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 6/27/2013 - Published: 6/25/2013
    100 Things Australia Is Not Allowed To Do by Felixfeles reviews
    If it weren't for these rules, who knows what Australia would get up to. Rated for swearing and references.
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,372 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 51 - Follows: 5 - Published: 6/6/2013 - Australia - Complete
    Memories by Demon Princess of Time reviews
    Two best friends, mysterious dreams that seem like memories, and being sucked into the Four Sword world equals a perfect recipe for an adventure! Join Soul and Skye as they take down Ganon along with discovering their pasts... Collaboration with Shadow Heroine of Time! Rated T for action No adult content. VioxOC and BluexOC Some Links will be OOC WILL STRAY FROM THE MANGA!
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 28 - Words: 18,479 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 6/5/2013 - Published: 5/18/2013 - Blue, Red, Vio, Green - Complete
    The Fifth Hero of the Legendary Sword by Demon Princess of Time reviews
    Life has always been wonderful for Iris, until her fourteenth birthday. She is given all of the Zelda manga, and reads the Four Swords first. All of a sudden, demons fly out from the pages to wreak havoc on her world. Together, with Green, Blue, Vio, Red, and Shadow, they must take down Ganon once again to save Earth. No adult content. Rated T because of the action.
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 3,754 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 5/18/2013 - Published: 5/2/2013 - Blue, Red, Vio, Green
    Eye Of The Beholder by OublietteVII reviews
    LONG CreepyPasta. Inspired by 'Hypno's Lullaby'. A look into a possible story behind that notorious FireRed Pokedex entry...and just what exactly happened to the victim involved, with an aftermath nobody could have predicted. You're never safe, especially in your own mind. Features OCs. Modern day slant/interpretation to game universe?
    Pokémon - Rated: T - English - Horror/Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 18,240 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 3 - Published: 4/25/2013 - Hypno/Sleeper, OC - Complete
    Anzac Day by Darkfoot reviews
    A meeting on ANZAC Day? How could they! It's now up to New Zealand, Australia and Turkey to show the rest of the world just what ANZAC Day is about. Main pairings- GerZea, NZWales. Various minor pairings, I do not own Hetalia. T for paranioa
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,506 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 4/24/2013 - Published: 3/27/2013 - Australia, New Zealand
    G'day Mate! by PenChick reviews
    "What would happen if..." America tells a joke at a world meeting. I don't even know.
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 679 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 60 - Follows: 5 - Published: 4/23/2013 - Australia, New Zealand, America - Complete
    The Secret by Well Groomed Goldfish reviews
    What if people found out about the Nations?
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 3 - Words: 7,543 - Reviews: 173 - Favs: 228 - Follows: 289 - Updated: 4/21/2013 - Published: 3/20/2010 - America, Russia
    Power Wisdom Magic by Burning Clutch reviews
    Gannon breaks out of the seal and comes back with a vengeance. what will happen to Link now that Gannon is loose once more and has turned Link to stone? where will he end up when the Goddesses finally break Gannon's seal? suck at summaries...
    Crossover - Legend of Zelda & Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure - Chapters: 14 - Words: 32,782 - Reviews: 168 - Favs: 146 - Follows: 217 - Updated: 4/13/2013 - Published: 5/2/2009 - Link
    Resistance is Futile by Meadowlark 9 reviews
    Arthur, the Omega Queen of Spades and prisoner to the Kingdom of Diamonds, has a small problem. Cardverse/Omegaverse. This is NOT a re-upload of the chaptered story! FrUK. Rated M for Language and Lemon.
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,226 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 87 - Follows: 15 - Published: 3/30/2013 - England/Britain, France - Complete
    Miss You by SourCherryJuice reviews
    Sadik had never expected to fall in love with that Greek brat... The situation was awkward enough on its own, but when Heracles decides to put it into words, things don't exactly go as planned. Turkey x Greece, mentions of platonic Giripan. Human names used, rated T for a bit of language and mentions of sex
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 5 - Words: 2,599 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 3/16/2013 - Published: 2/22/2013 - Turkey, Greece - Complete
    Sailcloth Journeys by Shadsie reviews
    In mending his sailcloth, Link wonders about the legend connected to it. His curiosity leads him to conduct a ritual to find and connect with the ancient and eternal "Hero's Spirit." What follows for him is a mind-bendng journey through Time.
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: K+ - English - Spiritual/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,921 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 9 - Published: 3/13/2013 - Link - Complete
    Reminiscing Sin by WolfFrenzy5 reviews
    The world is at peace once more. Vio knows this. Yet, no matter how many times the other heroes and himself inform of this, he can't shake the feeling something awful is about to happen. If he's correct... what could possibly threaten him and his dearest friends? Only one answer remains. Shadow. And he is determined to bring sin upon the heroes and their land. Shadow x Vio. M rated
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 4 - Words: 9,317 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 2/21/2013 - Published: 5/30/2012 - Vio, Shadow Link
    Conflict by the spoon raven reviews
    He wanted to tear him apart, hear him scream and cry and beg for his miserable excuse of a life to be spared. He wanted to encircle his hands around his throat and choke the air from his lungs, watching that annoying flame of courage die in his eyes. Ghirahim/Link, GhiraLink, slash/yaoi-themed, violence
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: M - English - Drama/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,430 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 11 - Published: 2/14/2013 - Ghirahim, Link - Complete
    France Addresses the Fangirls of Hetalia by i-swear-we-were-sufinite reviews
    You see it all over Youtube: "Hetalia boyz r sooo hot! except France, he's a creepy perv!" Well, guess what, young girl? France is tired of your shit. He is a well-rounded character, just like the others. He has feelings, too. He has seen war, revolution, and terror. And he has wrapped his feelings into one poem, to share his discontent with all of you.
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 331 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/29/2013 - France - Complete
    Merciless by the spoon raven reviews
    this fic is bad and outdated do not read it.
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: M - English - Suspense/Tragedy - Chapters: 21 - Words: 97,345 - Reviews: 512 - Favs: 299 - Follows: 168 - Updated: 1/27/2013 - Published: 12/28/2011 - Link, Ghirahim - Complete
    Hetaoni Dream by CrimsonEyedWolf112 reviews
    This is actually a dream i had as a result of watching Hetaoni for three days. This dream scared the crap out of me so i wrote it out and and put it on here!
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 833 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/25/2013 - N. Italy, Germany - Complete
    The Nature of Masks by Lady Of The Semicolons reviews
    Majora's Mask. As they rest at the inn, Tatl ends up learning something shocking about her partner.
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,240 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 57 - Follows: 5 - Published: 1/20/2013 - Tatl, Link - Complete
    The Demon Lord's Heat by Tinylittletrashbot reviews
    Link is half demon, and both him and his husband Ghirahim are in heat. This was for a prompt for ask-GhiraLink on tumblr. NSFW!
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,931 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 5 - Published: 1/5/2013 - Ghirahim, Link - Complete
    FrostIron Headcanons by TartanFly reviews
    Headcanon scenarios as accepted by the FrostIron community on Tumblr. Originally posted by frost-iron-headcanons. These will NOT be in numerical order. Rated M to be safe, because I cannot control my dirty mind.
    Avengers - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 11,799 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 79 - Follows: 114 - Updated: 12/24/2012 - Published: 9/3/2012 - Iron Man/Tony S., Loki
    Chase by the spoon raven reviews
    It was almost infuriating, he wanted fear not whatever soft of attention it was that the winter spirit was trying to give him… Sequel to Alone, friendshippy Black Ice (Jack Frost/Pitch)
    Rise of the Guardians - Rated: K - English - Friendship/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,133 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 6 - Published: 12/24/2012 - Jack Frost, Pitch - Complete
    Hetare by Neonidus of Libra reviews
    Italy is a lovable, oblivious nation that would never get knocked down by harsh comments. However, every person, human or nation, has a point where people cross the line. For Italy, that line will be crossed today.
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 3 - Words: 10,389 - Reviews: 59 - Favs: 59 - Follows: 77 - Updated: 12/15/2012 - Published: 7/23/2012 - N. Italy
    Alone by the spoon raven reviews
    "You don't know what it's like to be hated for something you were meant to do. There's nothing more that can be said." post movie, friendshippy Black Ice (Jack Frost/Pitch) ONESHOT
    Rise of the Guardians - Rated: K - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,348 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 91 - Follows: 20 - Published: 12/9/2012 - Jack Frost, Pitch - Complete
    BECAUSE I'M GERMANY by sugarchupchup34 reviews
    WHEN A MAN LOVES A DOG, PERHAPS TOO MUCH.
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 24 - Words: 15,361 - Reviews: 293 - Favs: 204 - Follows: 70 - Updated: 12/6/2012 - Published: 12/19/2010 - Germany, N. Italy - Complete
    The ABC's of Hetaoni by DarkAndDeviant reviews
    This is what I think the Hetaoni vocabulary would be like, A-Z
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 380 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 4 - Published: 10/19/2012 - Complete
    The Violinist by Melody Syper Carston reviews
    His shoulders jerk violently, sniffles the only sound that could be heard from him as his hands clasp together in front of him as if begging. "Give him back! Give him back! G-Give him b-back...!" Implied GerIta, and some Brotherly!Prussia on the side.
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 558 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 3 - Published: 10/18/2012 - N. Italy, Germany - Complete
    HetaOni Maru Kaite Chikyuu by FlaminghazelGreen reviews
    The HetaOni version of Maru Kaite Chikyuu for all the characters. Fan-made. I own nothing.
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: K+ - English - Supernatural/Horror - Chapters: 14 - Words: 2,154 - Reviews: 53 - Favs: 57 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 10/6/2012 - Published: 8/11/2012 - Complete
    Poisonous Snakes by PenChick reviews
    Because, in Australia, there are none.
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 542 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 3 - Published: 10/5/2012 - Australia - Complete
    I Was Here by Selphie Kinneas 175 reviews
    OoT. One-shot. When evil is put to an end and everything is once again set right, who would remember the small boy that saved the world after all was said and done?
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: K - English - Angst/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,281 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/1/2012 - Link, Zelda - Complete
    The Garden by Katia0203 reviews
    After being sent back 7 years and going through the nightmare that was Termina, Link returns to the garden at the castle where it all began. A continuation of the last scene in the "Ocarina of Time" credits.
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,445 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 9 - Published: 8/20/2012 - Link, Zelda - Complete
    Memories by Coffee-Addict-Ngh reviews
    "It's a promise Vio! I will make you mine. Forever and ever." They smiled at each other as Shadow finalized the words. Neither realized how true it would be.
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: M - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 764 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 3 - Published: 8/17/2012 - Shadow Link, Vio - Complete
    Insanity by Coffee-Addict-Ngh reviews
    Insanity is a tricky thing it can start with the littlest thing...
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: M - English - Horror/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 703 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/15/2012 - Vaati, Link - Complete
    Dark Woods Circus by Earl Michaelis reviews
    My version of the Dark Woods Circus...Crappy summary, I know. Enjoy!
    Vocaloid - Rated: K - English - Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,297 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 5 - Published: 8/15/2012 - Meiko S. - Complete
    Zelda by 6teenana1 reviews
    I am Hylia. But when I see you, I am Zelda, only seventeen, deeply in love, and living out the adventure I've always wanted. I am your protector, watching you grow confident, watching you learn and bloom into a man I never dreamed you could be. I love you, Link, and I will wait for you.
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,410 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/7/2012 - Zelda - Complete
    Why I love you Spamano version by ColonelSexypants reviews
    In which Romano tells you why he hates -loves- Spain, and Spain tells you why he loves Romano. -other half to GerIta version, swearing, insults involving potatoes, stupidity, silliness, denial, fluff and much more. Please R&R. First chapter: Romano
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,071 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 11 - Published: 8/2/2012 - S. Italy/Romano, Spain
    Why I love you by ColonelSexypants reviews
    In which Italy tells you, the reader, why he loves Germany, and Germany tells you why he loves Italy. -Silliness, randomness, mild GerIta, probably a crappy attempt at humorous confessions and mild language. Please don't flame, but R&R. For Justice! First chapter: Italy
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,759 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 60 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 8/1/2012 - Published: 7/31/2012 - N. Italy, Germany - Complete
    Hetalia Theory by Mairu and Kururi
    What happened when Italy gave up his own life to save his fellow nations and destroy Steve? Based off the song the Rugrats Theory by Kaai Yuki
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: K+ - English - Suspense/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,300 - Favs: 7 - Published: 7/25/2012 - N. Italy - Complete
    Letters to Love by Coffee-Addict-Ngh reviews
    every note counted, even the small ones. They kept them all, all the letters and cards given to one another through the entire ordeal. A few a bit descriptive and some just short and sweet. This is the story of Vio and Shadow after the four sword, told through their letters.
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,099 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/23/2012 - Shadow Link, Vio - Complete
    Incubo by ColonelSexypants reviews
    Italy wakes Germany up with a nightmare. This one is different; it has him in tears, sobbing and clinging to Germany's waist for dear life. When Germany coaxes Italy to tell him about it, he finds out more than he anticipated, and it will change those cozy, warm nights with Italy curled up sleeping next to him forever. Title means 'nightmare' in Italian. Rated for mild GerIta
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,326 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 128 - Follows: 16 - Published: 7/20/2012 - N. Italy, Germany - Complete
    Crayola Crayons by RadiantWaterfalls reviews
    Crayola just doesn't make a color...
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 947 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 5 - Published: 7/16/2012 - Vio, Shadow Link - Complete
    50 Ways to Annoy the Awesome Prussia by Neonidus of Libra reviews
    Prussia's always causing trouble. Here are fifty ways to get back at the self-proclaimed "Awesomest Person Alive". Feel free to use these ideas for fanficts, but I would like some credit for the ideas por favor
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,002 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 6 - Published: 7/11/2012 - Prussia - Complete
    Light And Dark by Link's Little Brother reviews
    Light can't mix with dark... right? Pit ponders on this question. He has fallen in love with his darker half, Dark Pit. He isn't sure whether they can be together or not. But, what happens when Dark Pit hears Pit talking to himself about the matter? Dark Pit x Pit. One-shot.
    Kid Icarus - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 699 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 9 - Published: 7/7/2012 - Pit, Dark Pit - Complete
    Red Text by HollowPhoenix reviews
    I didn't know how to categorize this. Ghirahim and Link meet in Skyview Temple and have a conversation about the game's dialogue. It's a humor fic, so watch out. DON'T READ IF YOU DON'T LIKE SPOILERS!
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Humor/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,273 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 26 - Published: 7/3/2012 - Ghirahim, Link - Complete
    Gentle as a Lamb by Yueki reviews
    Link had lost the battle against Demise and Ghirahim. He is taken captive and struggles to deal with his new reality and what is to become of him. Dark GhiraLink OneShot.
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: M - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,776 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 52 - Follows: 12 - Published: 6/24/2012 - Ghirahim, Link - Complete
    The Things I Don't Say: Sealand's Biggest Fear by Neonidus of Libra reviews
    The Nations treat Sealand like a bratty child, but what if there is more to the micro-nation's actions that the nations don't see?
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,040 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 9 - Published: 6/15/2012 - Sealand - Complete
    Go On Ahead by HollowPhoenix reviews
    This is my first humor fic, and if a crap load of people don't like it, then I'll just delete it because I don't really prefer it either. - - I THINK zelda's a minor character, but idk.
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,110 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 5 - Published: 6/13/2012 - Ghirahim, Link - Complete
    Axis Powers Hetalia: Episode 23,5 by KyoKyo866 reviews
    I stumble upon a lost episode of Hetalia Season 1 that forever changes my view of the Axis on an Island arc of Germany and Japan taking drastic measures to save themselves from starvation. Hetalia Creepypasta
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,212 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 5 - Published: 6/9/2012 - N. Italy - Complete
    A Story from the Past by Melody Syper Carston reviews
    "Feliciano, tell me one of your stories. One from the past." Feliciano's eyes popped open, and he stared at the blonde in surprise. Short snippets of history compiled into a OneShot. Pairing: GerIta
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,229 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 5 - Published: 5/26/2012 - N. Italy, Germany - Complete
    Clock by Selphie Kinneas 175 reviews
    MM. One-shot. In a doomed world, the clock harshly reminded him of his cruel attachment to time and of the terrible fate that had befallen him. That clock would never stop ticking.
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,160 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 2 - Published: 5/15/2012 - Link - Complete
    Read My Lips by Terra Saltt reviews
    Tino enjoys the comfort of a quiet library and dreaming minds when he picks up on the charming thoughts of a perfect stranger. Has Berwald found someone that can fully understand him, even when he is silent? MindReader!Tino x Deaf!Berwald AU
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 36,782 - Reviews: 288 - Favs: 400 - Follows: 201 - Updated: 5/13/2012 - Published: 1/9/2012 - Finland, Sweden
    Just a Platypus by phinflynn reviews
    Oh, Perry? He's just a platypus. They don't do much. They especially don't catch you making out with your brother and freak out about it. Phinerb, slight Doofenperry. Perry's POV.
    Phineas and Ferb - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,487 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 70 - Follows: 13 - Published: 5/13/2012 - Ferb, Phineas - Complete
    Forest by Coffee-Addict-Ngh reviews
    How Shadow got Vio to his side, based on part 1 manga oneshot
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Romance/Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 722 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/23/2012 - Vio, Shadow Link - Complete
    Ghirahim Boss Battle 1 by SkywardDiamond reviews
    With all of the millions of gamers, Link and Ghirahim have been through the Skyview Temple battle many times. So many times, in fact, that the battle is but a mere - and rather ridiculous - shadow of its former self. T because Ghira's a perv.
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,988 - Reviews: 78 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 4 - Published: 4/13/2012 - Link, Ghirahim - Complete
    Sword Spirit's Sacrifice by Laureen Lycan reviews
    "What was I like?" Fi asked the Demon Lord Ghirahim, searching his gaze. "Before..." she looked at herself, a robotic figure spewing calculations and analyses. "Before this?" Fi couldn't understand emotions...but she detected one in his answer.
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 5 - Words: 12,863 - Reviews: 55 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 41 - Updated: 4/10/2012 - Published: 3/7/2012 - Ghirahim, Fi
    Insanity by Kierax reviews
    Hetaoni Oneshot Sonfic Sanity is such a fickle thing...It's hard to gain...and easy to loose...So just how insane has Italy gone? what is he willing to do to protect those he holds dear?
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Horror/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,263 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/4/2012 - Germany, N. Italy - Complete
    The Mysterious Case of White by Mollz33 reviews
    GerIta & Spamano. Better summary is inside. When Italy and Germany get into a fight, Germany tells Italy to go home. But what happens when Italy ignores the on-coming traffic?
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 20,390 - Reviews: 103 - Favs: 88 - Follows: 100 - Updated: 3/22/2012 - Published: 4/24/2011 - S. Italy/Romano, N. Italy
    Broken Portions by arbutus blooms reviews
    He'd played her game and lost. Ghirahim/Fi. Spoilers for Skyward Sword.
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 293 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/22/2012 - Ghirahim, Fi - Complete
    Scarred Tissue by MissLadyDemon reviews
    1P France and 2P England. FRUK. YAOI. I don'y own.
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,923 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 129 - Follows: 22 - Published: 3/10/2012 - France, England/Britain - Complete
    Take it Back by Pit Viper of Doom reviews
    Everyone has a button. Even Italy.
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,525 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 250 - Follows: 19 - Published: 3/8/2012 - S. Italy/Romano, N. Italy - Complete
    Sweeney Todd meets A Series of Unfortunate Events by LaDyOfThEdArKeYeS reviews
    What happens when "Sweeney Todd" and "A Series of Unfortunate Events" meet? Find out in this random crossover story
    Crossover - Series Of Unfortunate Events & Sweeney Todd - Rated: T - English - Angst/Suspense - Chapters: 29 - Words: 55,401 - Reviews: 255 - Favs: 68 - Follows: 43 - Updated: 3/5/2012 - Published: 6/21/2008 - Violet B., Anthony H. - Complete
    Copper Curl by Everlasting Faerie Light reviews
    Germany is haunted with distant memories of a child with a copper curl. Not only does he struggle to remember his childhood, he also has to deal with his conflicted feelings for Italy. Shounen-ai/yaoi. GerIta with Germany as HRE theory plot.
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 11 - Words: 30,736 - Reviews: 151 - Favs: 253 - Follows: 103 - Updated: 2/28/2012 - Published: 1/6/2012 - Germany, N. Italy - Complete
    Vaati's Rage by FluffyRedPillows reviews
    Hey guys! i have decided a long time ago that there was too much VaatixOC out there, as well as shameless self inserts into the story for little to no other purpose than to fulfill fantasies that, frankly, are only appealing to a very select audience. In my earlier years I constructed this story, and although offensive to those who take part in OcxCharacter, enjoy this parody!
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,558 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 3 - Published: 2/28/2012 - Vaati, Shadow Link - Complete
    Italy and Clothes by TroubledThoughts reviews
    Full Name: For Some Reason, Italy And Clothes Just Don't Seem To Get Along - Germany is fed up with Italy's habit of showing up at his place pantsless. He intends to punish him, but… Things take a slightly different turn. Ger/Ita, a mention of 'Spamano'.
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,933 - Reviews: 53 - Favs: 196 - Follows: 19 - Published: 2/22/2012 - Germany, N. Italy - Complete
    Can't Touch the Ground by TheKingKez reviews
    Denmark and New Zealand are an awesome pair with awesome dates. Usually. Denmark isn't quite sure about this sky diving business... Kink Meme De-anon
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: K - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 919 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 5 - Published: 2/14/2012 - Denmark, New Zealand - Complete
    Empire by Curbstompd reviews
    A hundred years in the future, Italy has eclipsed the legend of his grandfather. He is the Italian Empire now, and he remembers his swift and terrible rise to greatness. Dark!Italy. Rated T for blood and Italy's broken, twisted mind.
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Drama/Tragedy - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,190 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 2/13/2012 - Published: 2/6/2012 - N. Italy
    Hetalia taught me by kuefox reviews
    What did Hetalia teach you?
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 521 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 7 - Published: 2/11/2012 - Complete
    Land of the Long White Cloud by IncurablyAwesome reviews
    When England takes Australia across the Tasman on his first ever trip away from home, he befriends a strange boy with a funny accent.
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: K - English - Friendship/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,401 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 4 - Published: 2/9/2012 - Australia, New Zealand - Complete
    Russia Theory by Marukaite Chikyuu Doitsu reviews
    I guess I just do not understand, what is the meaning of life? Everything I've been told I believe, yet the people I love just leave. I know you're not lying, so I'll get rid of doubt. I know you tell the truth. Rugrats Theory, Vocaloid songfic
    Crossover - Inuyasha & Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Romance/Horror - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,196 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 2/8/2012 - Published: 2/7/2012 - Kagome H., Russia
    Four Greatest Gifts to Give by AwesomeAnimeQueen reviews
    It's China's birthday and Russia has a really nice surprise for him. RoChu, lemon, yaoi, DLDR
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,127 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 4 - Published: 2/6/2012 - China, Russia - Complete
    HetaOni Chaos by Everlasting Faerie Light reviews
    What happens when Hungary forces the nations to watch HetaOni on youtube? How will they react? Rated T for language. Slight USUK, slight GerIta, slight Spamano.
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Humor/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,359 - Reviews: 61 - Favs: 203 - Follows: 36 - Published: 2/5/2012 - Japan, N. Italy - Complete
    Accidental Outburst by IwaKitsune reviews
    Accidents happen, there is simply no way to avoid them sometimes. But when the chosen hero can't keep in his frustration caused by that erratic day he does something he immediately regrets against his advisor.
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 3 - Words: 9,222 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 2/1/2012 - Published: 1/26/2012 - Link, Fi - Complete
    Can you hear it? by kuefox reviews
    Can you? The wonderful sound of metal hitting ground? Clank, clank, clank...
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Horror/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 833 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/30/2012 - Germany, N. Italy - Complete
    Please Forgive Me, Germany by MidnightSakuraBlossom and SYD reviews
    Continuing after Italy's Cheer Up Story, with a total mood whiplash, this explores Germany and Italy's feelings for each other in an angsty style. Germany decides to go after Italy after some consideration. And...things get steamy. Rated M for a reason...
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 13,105 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/25/2012 - N. Italy, Germany - Complete
    Relish by Icicle Streams reviews
    A strange phenomenon bring Ghirahim and Fi together in a meeting of spirits during Link's final battle with the Demon Lord. Companion piece to 'Remember.' Spoilers for Skyward Sword
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Angst/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,476 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 16 - Published: 1/20/2012 - Ghirahim, Fi - Complete
    Confessions of a Groose by Katia0203 reviews
    Have you ever wondered what happened between Zelda and Groose while Link was fighting Demise? Groose has something to say to Zelda, and he opens up his heart to tell her everything. Skyward Sword Oneshot. ZeLink.
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,422 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 4 - Published: 1/11/2012 - Groose, Zelda - Complete
    Remember by Icicle Streams reviews
    "For you and I, we are kin, are we not?" -Fi's chance encounter with the demon lord himself as she awaits Link's return within Eldin Volcano. Companion piece to Relish
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Angst/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,010 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/11/2012 - Fi, Ghirahim - Complete
    HetaOni Quotes by tokidokibaka reviews
    Quotes from HetaOni.
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,547 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 141 - Follows: 25 - Published: 12/31/2011 - Complete
    GerIta: Falling in Love by stitch1126 reviews
    A normal, everyday, training session takes an unexpected turn. Oneshot. Blah, suck at summaries, and titles...
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,292 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 70 - Follows: 11 - Published: 12/13/2011 - Germany, N. Italy - Complete
    I Saw Papa Kissing Santa Claus by Terra Saltt reviews
    A little Christmas magic brings Berwald quite the gift this year. SuFin with Sealand. Santa!Tino, SingleParent!Berwald, AdorableAsHell!Peter. Multi-chap fic. Fluff. Happy Holidays!
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 7 - Words: 18,269 - Reviews: 84 - Favs: 161 - Follows: 49 - Updated: 12/11/2011 - Published: 12/4/2011 - Sweden, Finland - Complete
    Sheepsitting by AdvanceAustralianFair reviews
    Australia finds something he shouldn't while watching New Zealand's sheep. One shot request, planning on expanding in another story.
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,075 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/6/2011 - Australia, New Zealand - Complete
    Daydreams, smiles, and secrets by Stripes93 reviews
    Italy's smile hides a deep secret he's never told. He begins to space out then he's back to that time, back to when his daydreams first began, back to when he first held that secret that only he will ever know...-dubcon-
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,975 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 4 - Published: 12/1/2011 - N. Italy - Complete
    Time's Castaway by Shadsie reviews
    Time flowed like water and left the traveler stranded on a distant shore. Aryll did not know why this strange man looked like a grown-up version of her brother. He talked in a strange language she did not know. WW/OoT cross. One Hero in another's era.
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 9 - Words: 30,334 - Reviews: 116 - Favs: 192 - Follows: 59 - Updated: 11/4/2011 - Published: 7/28/2011 - Link, Aryll - Complete
    Rugby and World Meetings Do Not Mix by Dark-AmethystUnicorn reviews
    ...here froggy froggy froggy
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,249 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 10/18/2011 - Published: 10/15/2011 - New Zealand - Complete
    Prussia's Stay by Sakue Sayuri reviews
    Prussia has been staying at Russia's house for a while now because of the Berlin wall, and he hates it. Russia intends to change that. YAOI Oneshot. RussiaXPrussia Hinted LithuaniaXPoland and GermanyXItaly
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,231 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 85 - Follows: 10 - Published: 9/19/2011 - Russia, Prussia - Complete
    The Aftermath by Elbereth04 reviews
    The sequel to the Price of Dignity. Arthur goes through some trauma after the rape and Francis confronts Scotland.
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,083 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 54 - Updated: 9/14/2011 - Published: 6/28/2011 - England/Britain, France
    The Soulless by Lady Of The Semicolons reviews
    Majora's Mask. If the Elegy Statue could speak, it would be taunting him...
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 137 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 10 - Published: 9/12/2011 - Link - Complete
    ANZAC Day by IncurablyAwesome reviews
    When ANZAC Day comes around, Australia and New Zealand have some memories to look back on. Australia/New Zealand
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,453 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/11/2011 - Australia, New Zealand - Complete
    Mighty to save by FanSlewFantasy reviews
    Spamano. Reposted, one of my most popular fics. Romano is troubled, unable to find peace between his religion and his love. Religious and Yaoi themes, ergo a cautious M. a little touchy maybe? please read and review. Don't like, Don't read. Thanks.
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,885 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 91 - Follows: 11 - Published: 7/26/2011 - Spain, S. Italy/Romano - Complete
    The Language of Flowers by Queenie Z reviews
    When young Hylians profess their love, they use a red tulip with a golden ribbon - but one small mishap may keep Link from ever giving his to Zelda. LinkxZelda. Spirit Tracks.
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: K - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,666 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 84 - Follows: 8 - Published: 7/18/2011 - Link, Zelda - Complete
    HetaOni: Letters to MonsterAlien Thingy by HundredPercentHetalian reviews
    Are YOU a HetaOni lover? Are YOU a Monster-Alien Thingy hater? Well, let all your feelings come out with "Letters to Tony"! Please feel free to use as many cuss words as you like.
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 8 - Words: 6,333 - Reviews: 102 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 7/13/2011 - Published: 4/22/2011
    Themes truned lemony by Coffee-Addict-Ngh reviews
    20 themes turned into lemons and fluff :3 will add more oneshot fluffs!Forst real lemon, no flames plz. tips/advice are wanted!
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 767 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/3/2011 - Vio, Shadow Link
    Discovery by MidniteDancer reviews
    Germany's feeling odd about Italy. Why does he care so much? GerIta Yaoi
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,222 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 100 - Follows: 9 - Published: 6/21/2011 - Germany, N. Italy - Complete
    The Gift by Coffee-Addict-Ngh reviews
    A VioXShadow story! very sweet! it's Vio's birthday and what does his shadowy lover get him? FLUFF!
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 594 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 3 - Published: 6/19/2011 - Vio, Shadow Link - Complete
    Chasing An Empty Dream by jmp22895 reviews
    Germany realizes he has feelings for Italy...just in time to learn that Italy is still in love with someone else. Just who the hell is this Holy Roman Empire guy anyway? Germany's determined to learn more about the kid who stole Italy's heart...
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 17 - Words: 48,252 - Reviews: 610 - Favs: 1,004 - Follows: 259 - Updated: 6/7/2011 - Published: 4/14/2011 - Germany, N. Italy - Complete
    Tangled Curls by Stripes93 reviews
    Germany gets a frantic call from Italy and finds two Italian's tangled up with the curl-only it's not Italy and Romano but their little brother Seborga. *Rated T for language and Italian hair curls*
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,452 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 116 - Follows: 14 - Published: 5/26/2011 - Germany, Seborga - Complete
    Mine forever by Stripes93 reviews
    Lovi hid but it was no use. Toni found him and he quickly regretted ever hiding. "I love you...you're mine forever now..." He whispered...*Rated T for blood and gore*
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Horror/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,344 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 4 - Published: 5/17/2011 - S. Italy/Romano, Spain - Complete
    The Four Swords: Reiteration by TiggerPup91 reviews
    A continuation from the Four Swords Manga, Hyrule has returned to an era of peace, but something is amiss... and when Zelda is kidnapped once more by a strange, dark force, Link must once again use the power of the Four Sword to defeat the darkness.
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 35 - Words: 177,204 - Reviews: 275 - Favs: 115 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 4/20/2011 - Published: 2/25/2011 - Link, Zelda - Complete
    Dark Woods Circus by RuJa4EVA reviews
    Come see the Dark Woods Circus. Tonight, we'll be showing the sad fate that some of this world carry. It's the perfect place for lost little boys who are ignored by their parents. And twin brother. And everyone else in the world. Everyone but this circus
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Horror/Tragedy - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,164 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 4/18/2011 - Published: 2/25/2011 - Canada - Complete
    A Pearl in Your Hand by Terra Saltt reviews
    The rest of the Mer have been hunted to near extinction, leaving Tino alone with his memories. But when a human with striking blue eyes captures him in his net, will he be killed on spot? Sweden x Mer!Finland. I'm keeping it up because people seem to like it. :
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: K - English - Tragedy/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 10,343 - Reviews: 66 - Favs: 183 - Follows: 57 - Updated: 4/7/2011 - Published: 3/31/2011 - Sweden, Finland - Complete
    The Hero of Wolves by The Wolfess reviews
    Book 1 in The Doppelganger Trilogy: Link's adventure is over, but the former ranch boy isn't the same. Tempted by the wild nature of the ravenous wolf inside, Link is called upon to help revive a corrupt, rebellious post-war Hyrule and its Princess.
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 31 - Words: 202,191 - Reviews: 909 - Favs: 1,011 - Follows: 563 - Updated: 4/7/2011 - Published: 1/28/2007 - [Link, Zelda] Ilia, Wolf Link - Complete
    Everyday Occurance by ahha.interesting reviews
    Germany X Italy what else do i write? crappy title, but Japan is MIA and only GerIta left, Romano appears so cracktastic and Germany finds out about that little Vargas Curl
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,363 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 70 - Follows: 13 - Published: 4/6/2011 - Germany, N. Italy - Complete
    Servant of Evil by Mitsuki Horenake reviews
    Two brothers, separated for reasons that are never explained, reunited under different circumstances, and are forced to go down a path that they can never walk out of. It is a path that they must take.
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,879 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/24/2011 - N. Italy, S. Italy/Romano - Complete
    Surrender by Val-Creative reviews
    Alone together on the battlefield, they bled./ October 13, 1943. Italy declares war on Germany and the aftermath. GermanyxItaly. Heavy T rating. Angst.
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,498 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 3 - Published: 1/13/2011 - N. Italy, Germany - Complete
    Maritime Misfits by Mako1 reviews
    What's the one thing that the Vikings and Polynesians had in common? Both groups were great maritime cultures. What would happen if the ever decided to join forces? The world would be royally screwed.
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,809 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 13 - Published: 1/9/2011 - Complete
    Hetalia Heaven by 13th reviews
    Things go wild when the Bad Friends Trio, Russia and Germany go to a host club! ONESHOT. Pairings: Germany x N. Italy, Spain x Romano, France x England, Russia x America, Prussia x Austria
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,067 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 9 - Published: 12/26/2010 - Complete
    101 Rules For History Class by Teal Tribbles reviews
    A list of rules and regulations for any and all Hetalians to follow in history class. Co-written in a joint account by D12T and Teal Phoenix.
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,204 - Reviews: 161 - Favs: 386 - Follows: 42 - Published: 12/13/2010 - Complete
    Fake smiles and Empty eyes by Mai-Gikarp reviews
    When you love someone, you'll endure anything for them, right? At least, he thinks it's love. LudFeli/GerIta, abuse, rape, blood, etec. Rated M to be safe.
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,787 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 67 - Follows: 91 - Updated: 12/12/2010 - Published: 6/11/2010 - Germany, N. Italy
    Honest when Drunk by StarsOfYaoi reviews
    *FrUK, lemon* England should stop getting drunk. Waking up with a smug France at his side surely isn't how he wants his morning to begin. And surely France seducing him into sex isn't how he wants things to progress. Maybe.
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,065 - Reviews: 67 - Favs: 390 - Follows: 52 - Published: 11/23/2010 - France, England/Britain - Complete
    HetaOni: Novelized by IReadFanficsOnly reviews
    Inspired by Trapped Within by simba-rulz. A retelling of fanmade game HetaOni
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Horror/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 8 - Words: 24,043 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 126 - Follows: 108 - Updated: 11/11/2010 - Published: 10/13/2010 - N. Italy
    Such is Life by Wirewolf reviews
    These are the fic stubs that refused to flower so had to be released into the wild .Have at it Internet. Hope someone finds them entertaining.
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 715 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/25/2010 - Australia, New Zealand - Complete
    Déjà Vu by LittleBlueNayru reviews
    Apocalyptic Majora's Mask oneshot. How one ignorant inhabitant of the doomed land views the coming end. Warnings: contains character death, the apocalypse, mild gore, complicated time-space theories, and some incoherency.
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,902 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 10 - Published: 10/9/2010 - Complete
    Kurai Mori no Saakasu by Cheshirekitsune reviews
    Oh you're here, you're here! Drop by and see him! Drop by and see them! Its fun!" Maybe someday, he would heed its words. .:Oneshot:.
    Soul Eater - Rated: T - English - Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,365 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 6 - Published: 9/8/2010 - Asura - Complete
    Dark Woods Circus by Crazy-A-bites reviews
    A story to the Vocaloid song Dark Woods Circus. "Come and see him."
    Vocaloid - Rated: T - English - Horror/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,794 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/26/2010 - Meiko S., Kaiko S. - Complete
    The Strange Professor by Corkboard reviews
    That new professor with the thick eyebrows... Harry can't help but find a few things about him that aren't quite normal.
    Crossover - Harry Potter & Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,951 - Reviews: 131 - Favs: 925 - Follows: 85 - Published: 8/6/2010 - Harry P., England/Britain - Complete
    HetaOni preview by The Deceiving Maiden reviews
    A small peek at the fan game's HetaOni fanfic that's coming out in the future. ALREADY WRITING! PLEASE CHECK MY PROFILE TO FIND IT EASIER!
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 724 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 8 - Published: 7/14/2010 - Complete
    The Tale of the Bandaid by TheKingKez reviews
    No one knows the real story of why Australia wears that band-aid across his nose, except the three people who were there. -Just a ficlet- The beginning of a dysfunctional siblinghood.
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 672 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 8 - Published: 7/9/2010 - Australia, New Zealand - Complete
    The Charm Conundrum by Cheryl Dyson reviews
    Harry misplaces an interesting "self-help" manual. Draco finds it and discovers some fascinating insights into Harry Potter. Yes, contains MATURE ADULT CONTENT.
    Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,624 - Reviews: 273 - Favs: 1,680 - Follows: 117 - Published: 7/5/2010 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
    100 Things New Zealand isn't allowed to do by TheKingKez reviews
    Even the most peaceful nations need to have some rules set in place. -100 Things X is not Allowed To Do list.- No offense intended!
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,220 - Reviews: 57 - Favs: 100 - Follows: 14 - Published: 7/3/2010 - New Zealand - Complete
    Running From Romance by LittleBlueNayru reviews
    Link is running from unwanted love. Whose affections is he trying to escape? Oh, just those of EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER IN THE ENTIRE SERIES! Completely insane. Run if you're scared. RHO; Random Humorous Oneshot.
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Romance/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,732 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 3 - Published: 6/11/2010 - Link - Complete
    You're too obsessed with Zelda games when by fanfictionweirdo reviews
    The title says it all...
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 560 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/9/2010 - Complete
    Courting by StarsOfYaoi reviews
    *PruIta* Prussia is out to seduce Italy, and it's a foreplay that will leave him breathless.
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,201 - Reviews: 60 - Favs: 219 - Follows: 18 - Published: 5/30/2010 - Prussia, N. Italy - Complete
    Poisonous Creatures by Ireina Kurotsuki reviews
    Germany really shouldn't have been surprised to see the young nation with a snake twining around him, and a spider on one hand, happily holding a conversation with the small arachnid. Oneshot. Rated for Oz's swearing. Could be slash if you squint.
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,704 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 4 - Published: 5/21/2010 - Australia, Germany - Complete
    Running Up That Hill by freakanature06 reviews
    Sequel to Servant of Evil. Alfred wants to change what happened to his brother - swap places with him. And with Arthur's help, he's able to. Sad oneshot songfic. Character death. Enjoy!
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Angst/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,765 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 3 - Published: 1/26/2010 - America, Canada - Complete
    Servant of Evil by freakanature06 reviews
    Matthew would give absolutely anything to protect his brother - even his very life. A short sort-of songfic, based on the song of the same name. WARNING! Character death involved. Enjoy.
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Angst/Family - Chapters: 5 - Words: 3,822 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 90 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 12/6/2009 - Published: 12/5/2009 - Canada, America - Complete
    Conflict by Lady Of The Semicolons reviews
    Majora's Mask. The quest in Termina is taking its toll on the Hero. The Three Goddesses of Hyrule attempt to intervene on his behalf.
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: K - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,122 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/29/2009 - Din, Farore - Complete
    When Pasta Is To Blame by FroggyFran reviews
    Maybe Romano and Feliciano are even more alike than we thought. GermanyxN.Italy SpainxS.Italy MPREG full lemon in later chapters fourshot -First Hetalia, please go easy-
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 23,908 - Reviews: 143 - Favs: 413 - Follows: 121 - Updated: 9/18/2009 - Published: 8/6/2009 - Germany, N. Italy
    Desire by Tanya Tsuki reviews
    Whatever happened to the Mirror of Erised?
    Crossover - Harry Potter & Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: K - English - Angst/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 488 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 259 - Follows: 27 - Published: 8/27/2009 - Albus D., England/Britain - Complete
    Possessed by LannaMisho reviews
    Red is possessed by an evil shadow. With the others notice in time to save him? BluexRed
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,432 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 3 - Published: 8/12/2009 - Blue, Red - Complete
    OniLink at Hogwarts by DynturaDJ reviews
    For some odd reason, Fierce Deity Link has been accepted to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry! How does he fit in? Read and find out!
    Crossover - Legend of Zelda & Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,413 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 36 - Published: 6/8/2009 - Fierce Deity, Harry P.
    60 Ways of Hetalia by killahxbunnay reviews
    Ways to annoy them, ways to know if you're addicted, ways to love them! They're all here!
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,476 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 11 - Published: 4/9/2009
    Loss by Sevlow reviews
    He had to let it out. He’d been holding it in all day and he wanted it gone. He’d kept quiet and calm and made himself smile and speak softly but he just couldn’t do it anymore. Maes X Gracia. One-shot.
    Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,627 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 117 - Follows: 9 - Published: 1/13/2009 - Gracia H., Maes H. - Complete
    Crash by Sevlow reviews
    Colonel Mustang and Fullmetal fight to keep each other alive in the wake of a deadly car accident. One-shot.
    Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 10,209 - Reviews: 208 - Favs: 1,129 - Follows: 95 - Published: 1/5/2009 - Edward E., Roy M. - Complete
    Sacred Flesh by Shadsie reviews
    OoT/post MM basis. Sometimes, for the spirit or the flesh, death is only the beginning of something else. Link dies, leaving Ganondorf the opportunity to return in a most gruesome manner. Some sexual content and much morbid / just plain disturbing content
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: M - English - Drama/Horror - Chapters: 4 - Words: 14,282 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 12/5/2008 - Published: 11/30/2008 - Link, Ganondorf - Complete
    Luck by Sevlow reviews
    Colonel Roy Mustang has been having a bad week. Unfortunately for him, it's about to get a whole lot worse.
    Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 10,076 - Reviews: 109 - Favs: 543 - Follows: 43 - Published: 11/22/2008 - Roy M., Edward E. - Complete
    The Ten Commandments of Writing Zelda Fiction by Davin Sunrider reviews
    Obey them, lest ye be consider'd a n00b.
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 892 - Reviews: 157 - Favs: 254 - Follows: 19 - Published: 10/7/2008 - Complete
    Time Goes By by Monopoly reviews
    One shot. Majora's Mask fic, spoilers through Stone Tower Temple. Link has all the time in the world, but he can't save them all...
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 253 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/9/2008 - Link, Tatl - Complete
    Make Me Feel by Kir Sirin reviews
    All Dark Pit wanted was to steal the real Pit's heart in order to feel. He never thought he would fall in love with the angel. Now, with Pit sleeping and Dark Pit ready to leave, the angel of darkness spills all. But is Pit really sleeping? Dark PitxPit
    Super Smash Brothers - Rated: K - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,869 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 5 - Published: 6/6/2008 - Dark Pit, Pit - Complete
    Snow by Sevlow reviews
    Over a month after Ed's return to his human body, he continues to heal. Semi-sequel to "Number Twenty Eight". Warnings for angst and gore.
    Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,898 - Reviews: 138 - Favs: 490 - Follows: 60 - Published: 5/19/2008 - Edward E., Roy M. - Complete
    Number Twenty Eight by Sevlow reviews
    As of today, Edward Elric had been missing for four months, two weeks, and five days. Warnings for angst, some gore, and Chimera!Ed. Complete
    Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 15 - Words: 63,347 - Reviews: 882 - Favs: 1,557 - Follows: 317 - Updated: 5/1/2008 - Published: 1/31/2008 - Edward E., Roy M. - Complete
    Masquerade by Hylian Shadow reviews
    Post Majora's Mask. Link's masks are more than just tools. Tools don't have memories or desires.
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,884 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 165 - Follows: 14 - Published: 4/9/2008 - Link, Fierce Deity - Complete
    Aniki by Ketgirl1992 reviews
    A sequel to "Understand Me". When one day, Shadow's little brother shows up, questions needs to be answered. What happened with Shadow in the past? And who are Shade, Mikeri and Dark? Yaoi,Shounen ai, Mentions of Rape. ((OLD FANFIC, PLEASE DO NOT TAKE IT SERIOUSLY))
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,856 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 2/2/2008 - Published: 10/16/2007 - Blue, Green, Red, Vio
    Sick by Sevlow reviews
    Ed is late for his report. Again.
    Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,465 - Reviews: 245 - Favs: 1,265 - Follows: 154 - Published: 11/30/2007 - Roy M., Edward E. - Complete
    Save Me by Sevlow reviews
    Roy Mustang is sent to Lior and captured. After five long weeks of torture, will he ever recover? Roycentric angst and violence.
    Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: M - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 15 - Words: 60,873 - Reviews: 433 - Favs: 635 - Follows: 117 - Updated: 11/20/2007 - Published: 9/18/2007 - Roy M., Maes H. - Complete
    Lost Love by Darklink77 reviews
    Based in Twilight Princess, when Dark Link comes back, what will Link do? Dark Link X Link XXX Warning!
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,521 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 127 - Follows: 20 - Published: 10/29/2007 - Dark Link, Link - Complete
    Understand Me by Ketgirl1992 reviews
    RedxBlue ShadowxVio,Based on the Manga,And i suck at Summary's.Very dramatic so you have been warned. ((OLD FANFIC, PLEASE DO NOT TAKE IT SERIOUSLY))
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 11,773 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 10/2/2007 - Published: 5/20/2007 - Blue, Green, Red, Vio - Complete
    Mistakes by Sevlow reviews
    We all make mistakes that come back to haunt us. WARNING: Graphic violence, character death
    Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: M - English - Horror/Angst - Chapters: 10 - Words: 35,688 - Reviews: 188 - Favs: 327 - Follows: 65 - Updated: 9/2/2007 - Published: 7/29/2007 - Roy M., Edward E. - Complete
    Buried by Sevlow reviews
    Al is dead.
    Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,076 - Reviews: 82 - Favs: 262 - Follows: 14 - Published: 8/27/2007 - Edward E., Roy M. - Complete
    Chimera Luck by kalisin reviews
    Complete! To Harry, this year was just turning out as strange as the last. Unfortuntely, he didn't realize how strange until he fainted in Potions class. creature fic HPDM Slash
    Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 22 - Words: 66,745 - Reviews: 676 - Favs: 1,641 - Follows: 516 - Updated: 1/27/2007 - Published: 1/30/2005 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
    Cops and Robbers by Ros3bud009 reviews
    AU Link Lennings is a small town detective who leaves he little place to find a whole new adventure. love awaits our hero as he meets the man he never expected, and sometimes wishes he never met... Yaoi Dark LinkxLink Complete
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 31 - Words: 133,074 - Reviews: 320 - Favs: 274 - Follows: 55 - Updated: 7/12/2006 - Published: 5/18/2005 - Link, Dark Link - Complete
    Foundation of Truth by Bard Linn reviews
    SPOILER WARNING! Stranded in another world, Edward find himself ripped through time and space. As luck would have it, he lands in the very place that might be able to help him get home – Hogwarts. Post Series FMA, HP AU Book six cross, COMPLETE!
    Crossover - Harry Potter & Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 19,476 - Reviews: 173 - Favs: 291 - Follows: 69 - Updated: 1/22/2005 - Published: 1/7/2005 - Edward E. - Complete
    Harry Potter and the Hero of Time by Michelle Lancaster reviews
    It's too hard to explain this story in such a short space. The author's note at the beginning should tell you what you need to know. Complete
    Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Fantasy/Drama - Chapters: 17 - Words: 141,042 - Reviews: 150 - Favs: 63 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 5/3/2004 - Published: 2/25/2004 - Harry P. - Complete
    Whose Line Is It Anyway? - Zelda Style! by meltina reviews
    The title explains it all. "Come on down, let's have some fun." ;)
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 6,504 - Reviews: 89 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 3/16/2002 - Published: 2/17/2002
    Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

    Insane Reality reviews
    What happens when four deranged Zelda fans decide to get together and play Wind Waker? Well let's just say they go on one helluva journey. Tanya and Tara, having experienced something like this before, use their prior knowledge to survive in the flooded land, but it is there that the quartet discover something spectacular about themselves... Rated T for the OC's potty mouths
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 5 - Words: 11,696 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 2/14 - Published: 1/19/2014 - Link, Tetra, OC
    Skyward Sword: Two Added In reviews
    What happens when you play Skyward Sword during a lightning storm? Zelda Fan Tanya Hackett soon finds out, and is magically transported to the world of Skyloft with her friend, Tara! At first, their aim is to get back home, but Tanya discovers something about them that changes their lives. WARNING: Very slight coarse language. Rated T 'coz I'm paranoid.
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 15 - Words: 42,379 - Reviews: 56 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 12/27/2014 - Published: 7/29/2013 - Link, Zelda, OC
    You know you're obsessed with Hetalia when reviews
    Are you a true Hetalian? Really? Then read this and see exactly how crazy I think Hetalians are! Everything listed is what I'm like, so have fun making comparisons!
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,813 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 7/24/2014 - Published: 6/1/2014 - Complete
    Past, Present and Future reviews
    Italy wasn't expecting much when he went to visit Germany that day. He was aiming for a hug, a kiss, a pasta dinner, maybe even a siesta. But finding his old deck brush in Germany's gardening shed? No, he wasn't expecting that at all. Germany HRE Theory! Also, yaoi! Don't like, don't read! It's as simple as that! T for a tiny bit of swearing and because I'm paranoid.
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,389 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 26 - Published: 6/13/2014 - N. Italy, Germany, Prussia
    You know you're addicted to Zelda if reviews
    Yeah... just came up with this during my spare time. Based on everything I've done, actually! Hope y'all enjoy!
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 611 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/6/2013 - Complete
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