MaximumAngel1
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Joined 03-22-13, id: 4613699, Profile Updated: 07-26-13
Author has written 9 stories for Maximum Ride, and Hunger Games.

Hello everybody! It's Maximum and Angel here! This is our joint account and we will be updating our stories together. :)

Stories:

The Nudge Channel: What would it be like to be Nudge? Well, now we know! We step into Nudge's shoes and rant away! This is extremely random. You may get brain damage from reading this weirdness.

Smarter than the average kid: Oneshot. What would happen if Angel went to first grade? She is, after all, smarter than the average kid.

Flight to Haven: Max and Fang used to share a cramped cage at The School, until they were literally dragged apart at age ten. Jump forward seven years: Max is living in a government safe haven, training to rescue her fellow mutants, while Fang is on the run from vicious Erasers. What will happen when they meet again? "I remember you!" Updated: Approximately once a week. Last Update: Wednesday, May 29th.

NOTE: FLIGHT TO HAVEN IS ON HIATUS

This is The Stuff Of Nightmares SYOT: Hunger Games SYOT. The 66th Hunger Games is going to be terrifying, with the tribute's very own fears harnessed to take advantage of them. Who will come out alive? SYOT closed.

We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together: Songfic. Max breaks up with Dylan for, what, the eleventh time? Twelfth? As she does so, she recalls all of her terrible past relationships with him. She decides that they are never getting back together. Like, ever. Songfic!

The iPod Challenge: This is what happens when I (Max) take the iPod Challenge. Full of Faxness, and Dylan getting rejected! WOOT WOOT!

Everdeen: A sonnet Max wrote in English class about the Hunger Games.

Pretty: A Nudge-centric free verse poem about how Nudge is only seen as pretty, and how nobody sees her personality. Just the superficial details. (Written by Angel)

Little: A free verse poem about how Angel is always underestimated as being too little. (Written by Angel) Note from Max: I like to call Pretty and Little "The Angsty Poem Series"

OUR FRIENDS!

PirateElfLuvr: Abby

FaxRide16: Anna

Redneck Avian-American: She's a nameless redneck (until she makes up an interweb name)

Profiles:

Maximum: (written by Angel)

-Acts like Maximum Ride

-Wishes she could grow wings and fly

-Favorite Character: Fang Faaaaaaangggggg! *fangirls for a while*

- Scary smart (aww, thanks Angel!)

- Takes Kung Fu, i.e.; kicks butt

- IS A GIRL!

-Life's mission: 1. Grow wings. 2. Create a unicorn by crossing a Narwhal and a pony. 3. Use the phrase "sexist pig" as many times as possible.

- Loves cookies (Angel makes them) (I have the same cooking abilities as Maximum Ride)

Angel:(written by Max)

-Is just like Angel but less creepy. And, you know, without the whole wings and mind reading thing. :)

-Human dictionary

-Mission in life: 1. Memorize the dictionary. 2. Set her army of Purple Potato People out on the world. 3. Create a unicorn (see above).

-Favorite Character: Angel

-Never, ever swears (EVER!)

-Amazing puppy dog eyes

-Mini uber-genius (So very true...)

-She is TITANIUM!!!!! *sings for a while*

More Randomess:

Random Words OF THE DAY!!!!!

Divergent, Insurgent, Faction (Max has a new obsession... but M.R. will always be her #1 Fandom!)


All spots are now full! If you are the reserved spot, please get the character in ASAP. Thanks!

District 1:

M) Grant Gems Flintlightning F) Selene DeStefano hollowplaces

District 2:

M) Hero Cunningham The last victor of district 2 F) Kira Locke Zania330

District 3:

M) Jubin Tray FireBird128 F) Lea Jessin locoforcoco

District 4:

M) Neptune James CatchingFire75 F) Brooke Cascade SherlockedAtHeart

District 5:

M) Dem Famet Dem Famet F) Alyvia Knight xXAzuraXx

District 6:

M) Kane Plass FireBird128 F) Sierra Cessna (bloodbath tribute from me)

District 7:

M) Date Dogwood musiclover1823 F) Camellia L. Willow musiclover1823

District 8:

M) Calico Velvet The last victor of district 2 F) Kimbra Pillsbury Flossah

District 9:

M) Oliver "Oli" Marx xImagineThatx F) Sabrina Lloyd Dem Famet

District 10:

M) Jake Conally Turtlewithwings F) Tallulah Nigig FireIceAirGuardian93

District 11:

M) Ethan Miros Anarchy Girl F) Lola Fern xXAzuraXx

District 12:

M)Kolton Oaks hollowplaces F) Amidia Henley Veron ijohanaserrato


Max's Words of Wisdom (aka favorite quotes):

1) "There is no penalty for excess celebration." -Football Referee

2) "Maxine, we don't have mutinies in the fifth grade!" -Dani the Witch, author of Maximum Ride: School Days

3) "For a moment a band of thieves in ripped up jeans got to rule the world" -Taylor Swift

4) "RUN FOR THE HILLS!" -Everybody

5) "The answer is G for... umm... Gorpy." -My math teacher (WHAT IS A GORPY? SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME!)

6) "I could take over the world! Not that I'd want to, of course..." -Gazzy

7) "I VILL NOW DESTROY DA SNICKAHS BAHS!" -Gazzy

8) "Because it's my birthday, and I wants it" -Gollum (Best. Reason. Ever.)

9) "Baby don't forget my name when the morning breaks us" -Ellie Goulding

10) "Let's join forces, we've got our guns and horses. I know you've been burned, but every fire is a lesson learned." -Ellie Goulding

11) "We are never getting back together. Like, ever." -Taylor Swift :)

12) "You changed the username to that?" "Yeah. I think I was really hyper at the time. You can change it back, you know," -My mom and me

13) "You... are... a... fridge... with... wings! We're... freaking... ballet... dancers!" -Fang

14) "My fanfiction. My rules. Screw you." -St. Fang Of Boredom (one of my most favorite fanfiction authors in the MR fandom)

15) "Life is too important to be taken seriously." -Oscar Wilde

16) Me: "Dylan's a turd." FunSizedAuthor: "Well, yes. But he's programmed to be a turd." -Me and FunSizedAuthor


This is Bunny. Help Bunny take over the universe by copying and pasting him to your profile

()()
(O.O)
o(")(")

MAX ANSWERS QUESTIONS!

1. Have you ever been asked out?

Never, ever.

2. WHATS YOUR MIDDLE NAME?

Shae.

3. DOES YOUR CRUSH LIKE YOU BACK?

Um, my crush is fictional. Just saying.

4. YOUR CURRENT RELATIONSHIP?

Forever Alone!

5. WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT MOOD?

Writer's block-ish. Unfortunately. Satisfied, however, that I could come up with enough for an update.

6. ANYONE WITH THE SAME BIRTHDAY AS YOU?

Yep. With a guy who's one year older than me and one grade younger than me (I know it doesn't make sense. Deal with it!)

7. WHOSE PROFILE DID YOU COPY THIS FROM?

Violet wingz of a demigod

8. DO YOU SPEAK ANOTHER LANGUAGE?

Je parle un peu de français, et je parle igpay atinlay. (Translation: I speak a little French, and I speak pig latin)

9. WHAT IS YOUR NATURAL HAIR COLOR?

Light brown, which I hope to dye the tips dark red or ombre.

ANGEL ANSWERS QUESTIONS!

1. Have you ever been asked out?

Once. I blew up at the guy for having the nerve.

2. WHATS YOUR MIDDLE NAME?

Grace

3. DOES YOUR CRUSH LIKE YOU BACK?

Don't have a crush.

4. YOUR CURRENT RELATIONSHIP?

Single. (see above)

5. WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT MOOD?

sleepy.

6. ANYONE WITH THE SAME BIRTHDAY AS YOU?

Affirmitive

7. WHOSE PROFILE DID YOU COPY THIS FROM?

Violet wingz of a demigod

8. DO YOU SPEAK ANOTHER LANGUAGE?

French and pig latin, same as Max

9. WHAT IS YOUR NATURAL HAIR COLOR?

Really light brown (really dark blonde?) with red highlights.


Angel: IF YOUR LIFE WERE A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?

So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool.

Opening Credits: Love Me Do by The Beatles

I don't really even like that song...

Waking Up: It's still Rock & Roll to Me by Billy Joel

Good song to wake up to, nice and peppy!

Going To School: I Told You I Couldn't Stop by Jakob Dylan

Not seeing the connection...

Making Your New Best Friend: Waltzing With Bears by Priscilla Herdman

Oh lord... My best friend is going to be a bear?

Falling In Love: What Are You Doin' In My Life by Tom Petty

Hmm... I likes it :)

Breaking Up: Thank You For Sending Me an Angel

Isn't this more of a falling in love song?

Graduation: You've Got a Friend by James Taylor

So, I guess I'll be in the graduating class of my friends?

Death Of A Friend: Psycho Killer by Talking Heads

O_O Bad omens of murder.

Flashback: Welcome to My Word by Jim Reeves

I don't get it.

Wedding: She's got a way by Billy Joel

Yayz, such a sweet song :)

Car Accident: Darlington County by Bruce Springsteen

So, it'll happen in some place called Darlington County? I wonder it that is a real place...

Final Battle: Titanium by David Guetta feat. Sia

Wow, what are the odds. I got the exact same one as Max. But anyways, i am actually partially titanium, PM us for the story.

Funeral: All about soul by Billy Joel

Good song, don't see the connection.

End Credits: Piano Man by Billy Joel

I do play the piano, but I'm not a man...

Deleted Scenes: Brown-Eyed girl by Van Morrison

Sorta makes sence, I mean, I do have brown eyes.

So that's my life in song form!


Max:

Opening Credits: The President by Snow Patrol

It is a life goal of mine!

Waking Up: The Weight Of Love by Snow Patrol (they are about 1/2 of my songs on ze iPhone, FYI)

A nice uptempo song that I LOVE!

Going To School: We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together by Taylor Swift

Is this a bad omen?

Making Your New Best Friend: Atlantis by Ellie Goulding

The chorus is 'Where did you go?" so maybe it's like, where have you been? Or maybe the best friend left me. :(

Falling In Love: Fallen Empires by Snow Patrol

Lyrics that I love: "You called my name in the dark, called me back to the start." I see it happening...

Breaking Up: Fireflies by Owl City

Ok, what does this song have to do with ANYTHING?!?

Graduation: Lifeboats by Snow Patrol

Again, I don't see what this song has to do with graduation. But it's a good song :)

Death Of A Friend: Blown Away by Carrie Underwood

I can see how this would work. I would be blown away if a friend died, they are my life!

Flashback: New York by Snow Patrol

It seems like a flashbacky song, but sad. A sad flashback.

Wedding: Forever And Always- Taylor Swift

The title sounds promising. The lyrics sound more like a divorce O.o

Car Accident: Good Girl by Carrie Underwood

Ah, well, erm, no. I see no correlation whatsoever.

Final Battle: Titanium by David Guetta feat. Sia

The best fit on this list. Just... perfect.

Funeral: If There's A Rocket Tie Me To It by Snow Patrol

The song is about a fire. So that's how I'll die (I never liked fire...)

End Credits: The Garden Rules by Snow Patrol (MORE SNOW PATROL!)

It's kind of a flashback-y ending-y song. I see it happening...

Deleted Scenes: Only You by Ellie Goulding

Hmm... I don't know. I'd rather have, like, Party Rock Anthem come on or something... but it's a good song!

So that's my life in song form!


The Maximum Ride Pledge:

I pledge to remember Max, when I see a great leader.

I pledge to remember Nudge, when I see a constant speaker.

I pledge to remember Gazzy, when I see something explode.

I pledge to remember Angel, when there’s an innocent face I start to loath.

I pledge to remember Fang,

When I see someone dressed all in black.

I pledge to remember Jeb, when someone stabs me in the back.

I pledge to remember Iggy, When I see someone that’s blind.

I pledge to remember Ari, when I see someone that’s left behind.

I pledge to remember Dr. Martinez,

When someone’s good at motherhood.

I pledge to remember Dylan,

When I see someone that’s misunderstood.

I pledge to remember Total,

When I see a little black dog.

I pledge to remember Brigid,

When there’s someone I don’t want to see at all.

I pledge to remember Ella,

When life doesn’t go my way.

I pledge to remember the Flock,

Each and every single day.

Cross my heart, hope to sing, ‘Take a chainsaw to my wing.


Why America has some issues

1. Only in America...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
2. Only in America...are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
3. Only in America...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their
prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
4. Only in America...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
5. Only in America...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
6. Only in America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
7. Only in America...do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
8. Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
9. Only in America...do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures' (cough-nomadic-vampires-cough)
10. Only in America...do they have drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering.


7 Reasons Not to Mess with Children (small children)

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to "honour" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."
"Yes," the class said.
"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
A little fellow shouted,
"Cause your feet ain't empty."

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
"Take only ONE . God is watching."

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."


Thinking of suicide? You’re sitting in your room door locked with a pen in your hand and a blank piece of paper infront of you. Your hand is shaking, and the tears begin again - for the third time in the past hour. ‘To my family’ you write at the top of the page, but decide it’s a bad way to begin your letter your suicide letter. You try again, start over again and again, but you don’t know where to begin. No one understands you; no one knows what you’re going through, you’re alone or at least that’s what you think. Nobody would care if you’re alive or not, you mean nothing to nobody.

It’s night, and you slip into bed. ’Goodbye’ you whisper into the darkness. And with that, you take your last breathe and end it all.

No body cares, right? Well you thought wrong. It’s a Tuesday the following morning, and when it’s 7:21, your mother comes and knocks on your door. She doesn’t know you can’t hear her she doesn’t know you’regone. She knocks a few more times, calling your name to open up. When there is no reply from your side of the door, she opens it and screams. She collapses on the ground while your dad rushes to your room. Your siblings have already left for school. Your very weak mother collects all the energy she’s got which is close to nothing to walk over to your bed. She leans over your dead body, crying, squeezing your hand, screaming. Your dad is trying to stay strong, but the tears escape his eyes; calling 000 or 911 with his left hand while his other one is on your mother’s back. Your mother blames herself. All those times she had said ‘no’ to you, all those times she had screamed at you, and sent you to your room over something stupid. Your father will blame himself for not being there for you when you asked for help, for being away from home at work for long. Nobody cares, right?

8:34. There’s a knock on your classroom door it’s the school principle. She looks more worried than ever. She calls the teacher to the side; all the students worried: what’s going on? The principle then later announces about your suicide. The popular girl that always called you fat and ugly is now blaming herself. The kid that would always copy your homework but treat you like crap he’s blaming himself. The boy that sits behind you the one that always threw things at you during class he’s blaming himself too. The teacher is blaming herself - for all those times she’d scream at you for forgetting your homework, or not listening in class. People are crying, screaming, shocked, in regret of what they did. They’ll all be devastated - even the kids you’ve never talked to before. Still nobody cares about you, right?

Your siblings get home. Your mother has to tell them that you’re gone; forever. Your little sister no matter how many times she’s screamed at you, told you she hated you and stole your stuff always loved you, and saw you as her hero; her role model. She now starts to blame herself; why didn’t I do what she told me to do when she told me to? Why did I take her stuff even when she asked me not to? This is all my fault. Your brother gets home the boy that never cries. He’s now in his room; mad at himself he caused your death. All those times he’d played pranks on you. He’s punching holes in his wall, turning over things; he doesn’t know how to deal with the fact that you’re gone. Forever. Nobody cares about you, right?Right?

It has been over a month. The door to your room has been closed all this time. Everything is different now. Your brother has to be sent to anger management classes, your little sister cries everyday still waiting for you to come back. Everyday she waits for you to come back home. The popular girls have now turned anorexic. They don’t know how to deal with the pain that they’re feeling. Your father has depression; your mother hasn’t slept for nights it’s all her fault. She’s been crying and screaming every night wishing for you to come back. The boy who would always bother you dropped out of school. The boy that copied your homework now cuts. But nobody cares about you, aren’t I right?

Your mother finally decides to go clean out your room. But she can’t do it. She’s locked herself in your room for two days to try to clean up your clothes, your things. But she can’t she can’t say goodbye to you, not yet, not now. Never.

It’s your funeral. It’s a big one everybody comes. No one knows what to say. The beautiful girl with the big smile is gone; you’re somewhere else. No one knows what to say, they’re all still shocked. Everyone cries, everyone misses you. They all wish you’d come back but you don’t, and you won’t.

Still think nobody cares about you? Think again. Even if people don’t show it, they care about you, they love you. If you kill yourself today or any other day you won’t know just how much you meant to people. If you kill yourself today, it stops your pain, but it pains all the ones who know you for the rest of their life. Suicide is the easy way out - but it’s the wrong choice. Life is beautiful. Yes, it does have its ups and downs everyone has their bad days. Sometimes people go through tough times in their lives like you’re probably going through now but bad times come and go. You might not see the light at the end of the tunnel, but it’s there. No matter how hard life gets, never give up on yourself, or on your life.Take a minute now, and think. If you killed yourself how would the people that love you feel/go through? Can’t think of anything? Well I’ll tell you: tears, tears, and more tears. Devastation. Guilt. Pain. Broken. Regret. Miserable.

If after reading this you still feel suicidal, there are people that can help you. I’m here for you whenever you need me, and I’ll be more than happy to listen to you and try to help you feel better. There are teachers, parents, grandparents, neighbors, adults, councilors they’re all there for you whenever you need them.

I hope this changed anyone's life. Repost if you want to at least try.


Girl Comebacks!

Man: Where have you been all my life? Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine? Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living? Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign? Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the ends of the world for you. Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. Woman: If I could see you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put u and i together. Woman: Really? I'd put f and u together.

Man: Your eyes, they're amazing. Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing.

Man: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? Woman: Were you deformed by the pressure difference when you ascended from Hell?

Girls, copy and paste this on your profile!


You know when you live in 2000 when...

1.) You accidentaly enter your password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they dont have a screenname or my space

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV

6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9.) You were too busy nodding and smiling to notice number 5.

10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.


Fanfiction is a site for people who have been called at least one of the following- Weirdo, Loner, Nerd, Lick, Geek, Shy, Silent, Creepy, Crazy, Insane, Eccentric, Psycho, Odd, Mental or Different.

Fanfiction is a site for girls who are deperately in love with a non existant guys. (Because they're the best kind...)

Fanfiction is a site for people who've ever compared their classmates to characters from books.

Fanfiction is a site for those of us who can't express ourselves in life.

Fanfiction is a site for people talk to themselves... a lot.

Fanfiction is a site for people who laugh at jokes that no one else gets.

Fanfiction is a site for people who get funny looks for reading in class.

Fanfiction is a site for people who admire the guy who tries to be different.

Fanfiction is a site for people who say long words that other people don't normally understand.

Fanfiction is a site for people aren't afraid to sit alone and read at lunch

Fanfiction is a site for girls who don't need guys to complete them.

Fanfiction is a site for people who ditched reality and went for something different.

Fanfiction is a site for people who hang onto dreams.

Max: I fit every single description in this list...


WHAT TO DO NEXT TIME YOUR ON THE ELEVATOR:

1.When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.

2.Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

3.Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.

4.Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor your on.

5.Hold the doors open and say your waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close, and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"

6.Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"

7.Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.

8.Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.

9.Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.

10.Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking.

11.Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.

12.Ask, "Did you feel that?"

13.Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.

14.When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again!"

15.Swat at flies that don't exist.

16.Tell people that you can see their aura.

17.Call out, "Group Hug!"and then enforce it.

18.Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"

19.Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"

20.Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

21.Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly.

22.Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.

23.Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.

24.Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

25.Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on".

26.Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is MY personal space!"

27. Hire a Labrador, wear sunglasses and repeatedly walk into the walls whilst pretending to not hear the other passenger's direction.

28.Before the elevator door opens shout "DING" and then laugh and say "beat you again Mr Elevator."

29.Fart loudly then exclaim "Was that you. There's no way I could do that one because mine are the silent and deadly type." The just grin.

30.When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.


If ya can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.
If ya can’t join ‘em, bribe ‘em.
If ya can’t bribe ‘em, blackmail ‘em.
If ya can’t blackmail ‘em, kill ‘em.
If ya can’t kill ‘em, you’re screwed. Copy and paste this to your profile if you couldn't stop laughing!


Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you like me?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you want me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you cry if I left?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you live for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you do anything for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Choose--me or your life

Boy: My life

The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...

The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.

The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.

The reason I don't want you is because I need you.

The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.

The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.

The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.

The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life


Fanfiction is a site for people who are different, but don't care, because they know it's who they really are.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

I once read that only math can save us now. Put this in your profile if you're screwed.

If you love random things, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are reading this, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this in it to make it even longer.

If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think those stupid kids should just give that god-forsaken Trix rabbit some Trix, then copy this into your profile.

If you would love to have wings, post this in your profile.

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you ever thought of something, said it to your teddy bear, and it hit you, copy and paste this to your profile, and run like HECK because that probably isn't a teddy bear.

If you ever pushed on a door that said "Pull" copy this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile

If you ever stared at someone for a really long time for no reason, put this in your profile

If you are the complete opposite of normal, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever walked into a pole copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever slapped your self on the head and/or banged your head on a table for no reason put this on your profile.

If your friends are WEIRD (But not as weird as you) put this on your profile.

If you think cookies are awesome copy this onto your profile.

If you think writing is AWESOME copy this onto your profile.

If you think that life without computers is useless then copy this to your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. lol

If you have ever tripped where there is a WATCH YOUR STEP SIGN, copy and paste this into your profile

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think the human identification thing when you log in to fan fiction is annoying, copy and past this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile

If someone has ever said something to you that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over a pillow, copy this into your profile.

If at least once a week, someone misspells or mispronounces your first and/or last name...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you talk to yourself and aren't afraid to admit it to anyone, copy and paste this in your profile.

If your profile is ridiculously long, copy and paste this into your profile to make it even longer.

If you've ever left one room to get something from another room, then once you were in the other room, forgot what you were trying to get, copy and paste this in your profile.

If inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot.

It's all fun and games until someone get hurt...then its hilarious.

You can't wait for inspiration; you have to go after it with a club

Live dangerous…Run with scissors.

I’m not sleeping. I’m just looking at the insides of my eyelids.

Sometimes I wonder "why is the Frisbee getting bigger?" Then it hits me. Literally!

Boys are like trees-they take 50 years to grow up.

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you’re a mile away from them and you have their shoes.

My mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash and it’s gone

I'm the kind of girl who would fall flat on my face, get up, laugh my head off, and say " That was fun!"

Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

Life isn’t passing me by, it’s trying to run me over.

Did you know Sarcasm is your body’s natural defense against stupidity?

Never knock on Death’s door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hate that.

Paper may beat rock, but cannon ball make big hole in paper.

The pen may be mightier than the sword, but my keyboard can crush your crummy pen!

Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out.

I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

Don’t follow me, I’m lost too.

This is Bob. Bob likes sharp things. I suggest you run from Bob.

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, and off the occasional cliff.

I’m not afraid of Death, what’s it gonna do kill me?

I’ll try to be nicer if you try to be smarter.

When life gives you lemons, chuck them at people you hate.

It doesn’t matter whether the glass is half empty or half full just drink it and get it over with.

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.

The world is full of crazy people. THEY MADE ME THEIR LEADER.

So what if we act like immature idiots? We’re having fun.

If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?

Why isn’t chocolate considered a vegetable, if chocolate comes from cocoa beans, and all beans are a vegetable?

Why is it when some products you have to turn it upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn upside down?

Why do people say, “You can’t have your cake and eat it too”? Why would someone get cake if they can’t eat it?

When life hand you lemons, throw those lemons right back at it and tell life to make its own dang lemonade

Don’t mess with me I’ve got a stick.

Darth Vader- "Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!"

Luke Skywalker- "Nah, the rebels have cake."

Darth Vader- "ooh! Can I be a rebel?!"

I smile because I have no idea what’s going on!

Life was so simple when boys had cooties

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends

Boys are like slinkies, useless, but fun to push down the stairs! :)

I ran with scissors, and lived!

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall, I laugh even harder

I’m the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n’ slide.

One way to figure out how things work, push all the buttons!

The greatest challenge in life is to find someone who knows all your flaws, differences, and mistakes, and yet still sees the best in you.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.

Those who don’t learn from history are doomed to repeat it.

Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else

Real girls aren’t perfect, perfect girls aren’t real.

I’d rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I’m not.

If you think Fang is hot (Oh, please! He is more than hot ;)) ... copy and paste this on your profile

I AM THE GIRL WHO DOESN'T FUSS OVER HER HAIR EVERYDAY.

I AM THE GIRL WHO DOESN'T CARE ABOUT MAKEUP, BECAUSE I DON'T WEAR ANY.

I AM THE GIRL WHO SAYS WHAT I WANT.

I AM THE GIRL WHO EATS WHAT I WANT.

I AM THE GIRL WHO RANTS ON AND ON ABOUT FEMINISM AND RACISM.

I AM THE GIRL WHO DOESN'T CARE ABOUT HER IMAGE.

I AM THE GIRL WHO...

IS STRONG.

IS TOUGH.

IS BEAUTIFUL IN MY OWN WAY.

AND I DON'T NEED ANYONE TO PULL ME DOWN OR BRING ME UP.

I AM THE GIRL WHO WILL MAKE MY OWN SUCCESS.


I am the girl...that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird, and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cellphone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain.

But I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn't care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with what she loves and is obsessed with, who can express herself beter with words than with words, and knows the importance of the little things.

Copy and Paste this onto your account if you are anything like me, so the girls who are diffrent and unique can know in their weakest times that they are unique, but not alone.


Things Maximum Ride has Taught Us:

1. Being different is okay.

2. Even the little things can help save the world.

3. Red-heads are evil! (Except for Iggy.)

4. Love always makes itself known. Even if it takes you five books and fourteen years of your life to see it, it's there.

5. 6-year-olds do have the ability to take over the world.

6. Duct tape is a handy tool if you have a mimicking 8-year-old.

7. The loss of a vet would be a tragedy.

8. Dressing in dark clothes and never talking does not make you emo; it makes you Fang-like.

9. French is the universal language.

10. Fang-sized is an acceptable form of measurement.

11. Count your blessings.

12. Teen magazines don't help you in life or death situations. (eh never was into them anyway)

13. Nachos and Moutain Dew are proper mind controlling devices.

14. Fang has the power to sum up your life story in nine words.

15. Even a kick-a, leader of a merry band of mutants like Max can make mistakes.

16. Never get hooked on Valium.

17. The best breed of dogs are talking Scotties!!

18. If one cannot be corrupted by power or money, there's always Snicker's bars.

19. It is okay to sell your soul for a chocolate-chip cookie.

20. Kids are better than adults.

21. You'll know the Apocalypse is coming when Max is wearing a dress.

22. The best cooks are blind pyros.

23. Submarines are tiny tin cans of doom.

24. Desert rat should always be cooked to well-done.

25. School really is an evil place.

26. Teachers really are out to get you.

27. Remember to flap.

28. Only one bird kid could pull off preppy Top-Siders.

29. GIRLS KICK BOYS' BUTTS!!


You know you're addicted to MR when:

1. You know what MR means first of all. (well DUH)

2. When someone says “the School,” you think of an experimentation building in Death Valley. Not an educational facility. (yes I no longer say school i say learning house)

3. Max is a girl’s name.

4. You have a newfound respect for blind people.

5. You half-expect dogs to talk and sprout wings.

6. Looking out to the sky, you want to so badly spot six flying bird kids. (SOOOOOOOO BAD!!!!!!)

7. You’d kill to be a bird kid.

8. You’re neither Team Edward nor Jacob. You’re Team Iggy and Fang.

9. You hate the names Brigid and Lissa

10. You wish to own an E-shaped house in the Colorado mountains one day.

11. You’re still single because you want someone like Iggy or Fang to come and sweep you off your feet. Literally.

12. You sat on the edge of your seat for Nevermore, and read the whole thing in one day.

13. Erasers are wolves, not school supplies.

14. You wish your mom was as cool as Dr. M.

15. You start to be skeptical of office buildings.

16. You develop claustrophobia. (already had it. But it did get worse)

17. Anything that is called “The Institute” makes you think it’s sketchy.

18. You only WISH you’re friends were pyros.

19. You automatically think of Fang when you see a kid dressed in all black.

20. You make a list of ways to kill Lissa and Bridgid

21. You've read every graphic novel up until the latest volume.


Est-ce que vous parlez français? Nous parlons français! C'est amusant! Vous copiez et collez si vous parlez français. :) (Max et Angel)

If you've ever wanted to go into a book and slap/scream at a character copy and paste this onto your profile.*cough* DYLAN's a jerk! *cough*

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

If you're a girl and get sick and tired of guys assuming that you're weak and can’t fight, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're a girl who's tired of people assuming that just because you're a girl you love pink and can't fight to save your life, put this into your profile.

92 percent of American teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch/American Eagle told them it was uncool to breathe. If you are one of the 8 percent who would stand there and laugh, copy this into your profile.

93% percent of people would have an emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list.

88% of teenagers think that reading is a waste of time. Copy and paste this into your profile if your the 12% that thinks those people are nut jobs.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

65 percent of Teenagers spend more time watching TV rather then read, if you are part of the 35 percent who read more that watch TV then copy and paste this to your Profile.

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list.

95 of people would panic if the Jonas brothers stood on the roof of a 3 story building and said they were about to jump. If you are one of the 5 who whould get all of your friends, some popcorn, and a soda and scream "JUMP! JUMP! JUMP!" copy this.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you talk to your book characters copy this.

Copy this and paste it on your profile if you think sarcasm is a conditioned reflex.

Can you raed tihs? I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. If you can raed tihs cpoy and ptsae tihs itno yuor pirlofe.

The white man said, "colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen Sir... when i was born i was black, when i grew up i was black, when i'm sick i'm black, when i go out in the sun i'm black, when i'm cold i'll be black, and when i die i'll be black. But you sir, when you where born you where pink, when you grew up you where white, when you're sick you're green, when you go out in the sun you turn red, when you're cold you turn blue, and when you die you'll turn purple. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man sat back down and the white one walked away. If you hate racism post this on your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know what to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good! If you are weird and proud of it, copy this into your profile

A friend will comfort you when he rejects you, Best Friend well go up to him and say "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

A friend will be there for you when he dumps you, Best Friend will call him and whisper "Seven days..."

A friend will help you up when you fall, Best Friend will laugh because she tripped me.

A friend helps you find you're prince charming; Best Friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.

A friend gives you there umbrella in the rain; Best Friend takes yours and runs away.

A friend helps you move, Best Friend helps you move the bodies

A friend well bail you out of jail, Best Friend is sitting next to you saying "That was Awesome!! Let’s do it again!!"

A friend knows a lot of things about you; Best Friend could right a very embarrassing biography of your live.

A friend will teach me how to drive; Best Friend will help me push the car in the lake so I can collect insurance.

A friend will go to the concert with me; Best Friend will kidnap the band with me.

A friend will hide me from the cops; Best Friend is the reason there after me.

A friend will let me make a fool of myself in public, Best Friend is making a fool of herself next to me.

A friend wonders about your romantic history. A Best Friend could blackmail you with it.

A simple friendship is over when you have an argument. A Best Friend calls you after you had a fight.

A friend expects to always be there for them. A Best friend expects to always be there for you.

A friend would pick you up when you fall. A Best Friend will push you back down and laugh.

Friends ask why you're crying, BEST FRIENDS already have the shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry.

A friend would ignore this, a Best Friend would repost this crap!

Angel: That's why I have Maxie

Max: DON'T CALL ME THAT!


Please read-true story (not me)

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back.

The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.

The Cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll.'

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''

Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly.

The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.

Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

'It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted

so much for Christmas.

She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.'

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. 'No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.'

His eyes were so sad while saying this. 'My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: 'I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.'

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me 'I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me.'

'I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.'

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. 'Suppose we check Again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

'OK' he said, 'I hope I do have enough.' I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: 'Thank you God for giving me enough money!'

Then he looked at me and added, 'I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!''

'I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''

'My mommy loves white roses.'

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.

I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started.

I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma.

Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine.

And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Now you have 2 choices:

you can go on and forget about this or you can copy and paste in it on your profile. whichever you pick is your desicion!

1) Repost this message, or

2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart

Max: I love this story every time i read it it touches my heart, and that's hard to do.

Max for real: Wow Angel. Pretend I say stuff and then make me sound like a sappy chick-flick person. Although it's kinda true... god I hate it when she's right and I'm wrong!


Funny warning labels (I love these!)

Sleeping Pills Warning: May cause Drowsiness (one would hope)

Christmas Lights Warning: For indoor or outdoor use only. (where else would you use them?)

Earplugs These ear plugs are nontoxic, but may interfere with breathing if caught in windpipe (Oops. guess I should'n have eaten them. *cough*)

Mattress Warning: Do not attempt to swallow (Aw, I wanted to see if I could unhinge my jaw like a snake!)

Pine Mountain Fire Logs Caution: Risk of fire (Good.)

Home Depot Treated Lumber Do not consume (for all you people who like to eat wood out there)

Hair Dryer Warning: Do not use while sleeping. (but that's the only time I have to do my hair!)

Road Sign Caution: water on road during rain. (Thank you, Captain Obvious)

Camera This camera will only work when film is inside. (so putting my fruit roll-up inside won't work?)

Soy Milk Shake well and buy often (I got nothing.)

Air Conditioner Caution: Avoid dropping air conditioners out of windows. (Darn. I was looking forward to a good game of air conditioner toss.)

Iron Warning: Never iron clothes on the body. (Um, OW!!!!!!)

Fritos You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (It's the shoplifter special!)

Boot's Children's Cough Medicine Do not drive a car or run machinery. (Yeah, we could really reduce accidents if we kept those sick 5 year olds off the forklifts!)

McDonalds Parking Lot: Parking for drive-thru service only. (And this makes sense how...?)

Life Saving Device: This is NOT a life saving device! (Um, false advertising much? Contradictory much?)


The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?"

The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...

Post this on your profile if you hate racism


YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...

You talk to yourself a lot. (e.g. Hmm, what would happen if it there was a thunderstorm outside and Annabeth got scared and needed Percy to comfort her? STORY IDEA!! MUST GET TO COMPUTER!)

You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (e.g. 'Why do I constantly ask myself random things?')

When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that idea has been pronounced idear?)

After uttering a profound peice of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow,this stuff is great for sugar highs...'

You live off of sugar and caffine (the two greatest things ever discovered! I love you starbucks!!)

You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then disappear off the face of the earth.

You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random. (Heck, yes!!)

When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.

You tend to collect Bic Stics off the ground like picking pennies off the ground.

No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.

The letters on your keyboard are wearing off.

Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome.

People think you have A.D.D.

You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D.

You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.

You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason

Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.

There is an ongoing narration inside your head, as if you are writing your life story in third person. (Ex: As (your name) was typing, a sudden desire of chocolate hit them.)

(copy that into your profile if you fit one or more of the descriptions)


Harry Potter Stuff


Hogwarts Rules

1) The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball.

2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office.

3) I am not allowed to take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.

4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show me the pointy hat trick.

5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar.

6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination.

7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after me lucky charms."

8) I am not allowed to start a betting pool on this year’s Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's taste-less, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy.

9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus' "time of the month."

10) I am not allowed to make light saber sounds with my wand.

12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force."

13) I am not allowed to claim that growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is "Extra Herbology Work."

14) I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot.

15) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it.

16) I will not lock the Slytherins and Gryffindors in a room together and bet on which House will come out alive.

17) I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Knights of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast.

18) I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug a Slytherin Day."

19) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways.

20) It is not necessary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor.

21) I will not say the phrase, "Get a Life" to Voldemort.

22) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy.

23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling.

24) I will stop referring to showering as "Giving Moaning-Myrtle an eye-full."

25) I will not make, "OMGWTF" a spell.

26) It is not necessary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate.

27) I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways.

28) I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor shall I insist that their colors indicate that they're "covered in bees."

29) "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge.

30) I will not go to class skyclad.

31) I will not use Umbridge's quill to write, "Told you I was Hard Core."

32) If a class-mate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm.

33) House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers.

34) I will not start every potion's class by asking Snape if the potion is acceptable as Body Lotion.

35) I will not call the Weasly twins, "bookends."

36) I will not call the Patil twins, "bookends."

37) I will not call the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak.

38) There is no such thing as a were-thylacine.

39) I will not give Luna Lovegood Coast-To-Coast AM transcripts.

40) Tricking a school House Elf to strip of its clothing does not make it mine. Yes, even when I yell out "PWND!"

41) I do not weigh the same as a Duck.

42) I do not have a Dalek Patronus.

43) I will not lick Trevor.

44) Gryffindor Courage does not come in bottles labeled, "Firewhiskey."

45) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween.

46) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself too seriously.

47) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions.

48) I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet.

49) "To conquer the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice.

50) I will not tell the first years that Professor Snape is the Voice of God.

51) But yes, I will do it all anyways.


If you read to the bottom of my profile, copy/paste this to the bottom of YOUR profile!

Regards, Best Wishes, Adios, Sayonara, Au Revoir, Goodbye, Why are you still reading these, Go away, I mean it, BYE!

MaximumAngel1

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Annoying Dylan by Violet wingz of a demigod reviews
This presentation is brought to you by Me,(Violet) Fang, and Angel. All the ways to Annoy Dylan! Warning: Very cruel! Very funny.
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 4,209 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 4/14 - Published: 4/4/2013 - Dylan, Angel
Relaxation on Explosion Lane by Kyla of the Desert reviews
Awkward moments the flock has at random times. Warning: No plot! One-Shot collection! FAX, EGGY. T for suggestive themes. Dylan doesn't exist!
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 16,246 - Reviews: 69 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 36 - Updated: 3/15 - Published: 3/27/2013 - [Max, Fang] [Iggy, Ella]
Maximum Ride: School Days by Dani the Witch reviews
It's the first day of school for eleven-year-old Maximum Ride and the rest of her flock. Despite Max's protests, Jeb has enrolled them in school, hoping for them to experience life as normal kids. However, Max isn't exactly an average fifth-grader - which always ends up getting her and the flock in a huge mess of trouble.
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 48 - Words: 56,160 - Reviews: 190 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 34 - Updated: 2/1 - Published: 1/19/2013 - Max
Fighting For a Place in This World by NightWrighter511 reviews
Maximum Batchelder has spent the last five years keeping herself and her friend alive on the streets of New York City. The world is cruel, especially to a couple of street kids, but Max has found a place she fits in: street fighting. Of course, it only takes one night to change everything. Now Max must reinvent herself. What else is expected from someone in Witness Protection? FAX
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 42 - Words: 119,033 - Reviews: 1073 - Favs: 221 - Follows: 194 - Updated: 5/23/2013 - Published: 12/31/2012 - Max, Fang - Complete
Maximum Ride, High School life Fanfiction by Ash by AshGlass1151 reviews
Max is a normal, sixteen year old who just moved from LA to Arizona. She goes to high school and is faced with drama, tragedy, comedy and awesomeness! Take a look at Max's amazing high school ride! What happens when she meets new friends and gets close to the mysterious Fang? Its my first ever Fanfic guys so just give it a shot!*no wings* for teens but K fr them who r awesome! :)
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 23,279 - Reviews: 63 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 49 - Updated: 3/29/2013 - Published: 12/13/2012 - Max, Fang
Another Form of the Avian Bird Flu by St. Fang of Boredom reviews
So, Fang gets sick. The flu, to be exact. And, of course, he has to pull a whole 'Whining Macho Prince' thing about it. Max and Dr. Martinez deal with Fang's attitude, Iggy tries to boycott Campbell's Soup, the Flock play with a blender, and...FAX! Eggy!
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 68 - Words: 103,238 - Reviews: 4044 - Favs: 1,129 - Follows: 814 - Updated: 3/13/2013 - Published: 10/3/2008 - Fang, Max
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

This Is The Stuff Of Nightmares SYOT reviews
It's the 66th Hunger Games, and it's bound to be the best one yet. The Gamemakers have a surprise in store for this year's tributes: their very own fears and nightmares will be harnessed to break them down and ultimately kill them. Who will make it out of this living nightmare alive? SYOT open! Rated T for tacos and general Hunger-Games-ness.
Hunger Games - Rated: T - English - Horror/Adventure - Chapters: 7 - Words: 9,702 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 7/27/2013 - Published: 6/14/2013
Little reviews
An Angel-centric freeverse I had sitting in my notebook for ages and never got around to typing about the reasons behind Angel's bipolar personality. Sort of a sequel to my other story/poem/thing, 'Pretty' Please R&R! (Written by the Angel half of MaximumAngel1)
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 279 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 7/7/2013 - Angel
Flight to Haven reviews
Max and Fang were best friends at The School. When they were torn apart at age 10, they never thought they would see each other again. Flash forward seven years: Max is living in a government safe haven, training to rescue other mutant kids. Fang is on the run from vicious Erasers. What happens when they meet again? Will they have a happily ever after? FAX!
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 16 - Words: 34,965 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 6/14/2013 - Published: 4/1/2013 - Max, Fang
Pretty reviews
A Nudge-centric freeverse focusing on Nudge's thoughts on being pretty, and how it seems like that's the only thing people see in her. Just randomness I thought of in the car, please R&R! (Written by Angel)
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 235 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/19/2013 - Complete
Everdeen reviews
Poem: Katniss was always there for Prim, until the fateful day when Prim is reaped for The Hunger Games. This is how Katniss feels, in poem form!
Hunger Games - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 227 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 5/3/2013 - Katniss E., Prim E. - Complete
The iPod Challenge reviews
The iPod challenge: set your iPod to shuffle, and write a drabble for each song in the time frame of the song. No pausing the music! This is what happens... main pairing used is Fax, a little Eggy. Dylan is always getting broken up with. I feel no pain for him!
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,910 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/27/2013 - Complete
We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together reviews
Max breaks up with Dylan for, what, the eleventh time? Twelfth? She then recalls her horrible relationship with him, and decided to end it once and for all. Because they are never, ever, ever getting back together. Like ever. SONGFIC to We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together by Taylor Swift. Minor Fax.
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,700 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/21/2013 - Max, Fang, Dylan - Complete
Smarter than the average kid reviews
It's Angel's first day of first grade, and it can be extremely challenging for a mini-genius to fit in with 'normal' seven year-olds. Unfortunately, Angel doesn't understand the meaning of subtlety. This ought to be interesting. Oneshot-Please R&R!
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,185 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/6/2013 - Angel - Complete
The Nudge Channel reviews
The Nudge Channel: All Nudge, all the time! What happens when you just let Nudge rant? Well, let's find out! Warning: Extremely Random!
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,000 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 4/1/2013 - Nudge