Poll: What's your real eye colour? Vote Now!
Author has written 9 stories for Vampires, Virals, Darkest Powers, and Mortal Instruments.
I AM FULLY 100% AGAINST ANY FORUM/COMMUNITY THAT DOWNGRADES A WRITER!!!! ELIMINATOR, CRITICS UNITED, GROUPS LIKE THAT ARE THE REASON SOME PEOPLE NEVER REACH THEIR DREAMS! IF YOU AGREE WITH ME, COPY AND PASTE THIS TO YOUR PROFILE, RIGHT NEAR THE TOP, AND ADD YOUR NAME TO THE LIST!!! WE WILL NOT BE BULLIED!!!! YOU'VE MESSED WITH THE WRONG PEOPLE!!!!! shovelgirlERB000
IMPORTANT- Teenage girls who are NOT in love with Edward Cullen/ Robert Pattison are fast becoming an endangered species. If you are part of this endangered species, copy and paste this in your profile. Quick, we need sponsors!
Now, Onto My Actual Profile...
This song will never fail to cheer you up; cross my heart!
HELP THE GIANATORS ACHIEVE THEIR GOAL OF PUTTING A NEW WORD IN THE DICTIONARY
Embarry(adj & abbreiv) - Super embarrassed
Hey guys! I'm PiptheSnake, female oddball and paranoid pessimist!
PEOPLE I ACTUALLY KNOW ON THIS THING: rabbithawk, samsonkeezo, io.wisnewsk, juliapossum, ninjadan436
VERY VERY VERY IMPORTANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALL WHO READ MY STORIES MUST READ THE AUTHORS NOTE IN Worst Birthday Ever!!! VERY VERY VERY VERY IMPORTANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just saying, you don't have to answer :)
I like to use EMI or えみ in my posts. It means LOL in Japanese; just so you know
I have an account on fictionpress.com as well; here's the link if you wanna check it out - http://www.fictionpress.com/shovelgirlerb000
This is of the utmost importance: please read it...
My Personal Mottos: I've got PMS, a bad temper, and you think I belong in a loony bin; you really think it's a good idea to piss me off? Thought not; you were saying?
WHAT I'M CURRENTLY TYPING UP/THINKING ABOUT
Maximum Ride Fanfic
A random thing based off The Talisman Of El (By Alecia Stone)
The theme song for both these stories is Dark Horses by Switchfoot; GO REBELS!!!!!!
Know Your Mage (Harry Potter)
Can you guys pretty please with cherries on top do my poll!!!!!
Hey everyone, can you find me on Wattpad? I am PiptheSnake there as well... no stories yet, but they're coming! (hopefully)
Hello stalker people who read profiles! Don't worry, I'm one of you! Anyway, I'm writing a COMPLETELY original story using the idea of two seperate worlds on one earth; the other people are aware of us 'normal' ones, but not vice-versa. If you wanna read it, PM me or, if you don't have an account, review on any story you want. You don't have to read them (the other stories, if you decide to post a review on there), but it would be appreciated. THANKS!!!!!!!
- This is sooooo much fun! You have to try it- just type, and the notes will play, or move your mouse over the strings. DON'T CLICK WHATEVER YOU DO!
If you read my reviews and feel intimidated because I sound like some forty year old, blame my mum! I inherited her 'business style', and I cant' find the off switch!!! I'm only thirteen, so don't worry; I won't eat you!
There is actually a blurby bit about me; I just want you guys to read the quotes, they're really cool! The link is below my blurby bit, number 5.
Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.”
“You're going to come across people in your life who will say all the right words at all the right times. But in the end, it's always their actions you should judge them by. It's actions, not words, that matter.”
“All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring.” (Ever notice how, when we get older, we stop living and get boring, yet those who get older and stay active seem to live longer, because their lives aren't boring? Interesting)
My thoughts are stars I cannot fathom into constellations.” (They're too confusing)
“There is no friend as loyal as a book.”
“It's better to be unhappy alone than unhappy with someone.”
Creativity is knowing how to hide your sources
“An eye for an eye will only make the whole world blind.
Life isn't always sunshine and rainbows as most people think; sometimes it's black and blood red from the pain and suffering. People just need to open their eyes and stop seeing only what they want to see.
Not everyone puts up walls to keep you out; some people put them up to see if you enough to try and tear them down
“Being a woman is a terribly difficult task, since it consists principally in dealing with men (Too true, however this was said by a man. Hmmm...)
“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” (I tell this to every one who belittles themself. everyone and everything are geniuses in their own way. Can you build a nest from twigs? Can birds solve math problems? No, everyone's different and intelligent in their own unique way, you just have to find it.)
“The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four people is suffering from a mental illness. Look at your 3 best friends. If they're ok, then it's you.” (Well, let's see. Dan's mad, Sam's mad, Jordy's DEFINITELY mad (she's intimdating and tries to strangle me when she sees me; she's barely as tall as my shoulder! [but older than me by about five and a half months]), I'm mad. I guess I'm just a really lucky person, to get three totally lOopy best friends whilst being lOopy myself! No sarcasm!)
“Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead.”
Just because it's happening inside your head, doesn't mean it's not real.
“There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends. I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not my nature.”
“Saying 'I notice you're a nerd' is like saying, 'Hey, I notice that you'd rather be intelligent than be stupid, that you'd rather be thoughtful than be vapid, that you believe that there are things that matter more than the arrest record of Lindsay Lohan. Why is that?' In fact, it seems to me that most contemporary insults are pretty lame. Even 'lame' is kind of lame. Saying 'You're lame' is like saying 'You walk with a limp.' Yeah, whatever, so does 50 Cent, and he's done all right for himself.” John Green
Actual Quote: “To the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure.”
I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally
Be nice to us nerds. You may end up working for us one day.
“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”
“I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.”
“Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind.”
“The difference between genius and stupidity is; genius has its limits.”
“For most of history, Anonymous was a woman.”
“I have always imagined that Paradise will be a kind of library.” Jorge Luis Borges
“Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift of God, which is why we call it the present.” Master Ugwe Kung Fu Panda
“It is better to remain silent at the risk of being thought a fool, than to talk and remove all doubt of it.”
“Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.”
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.”
“I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.” Oscar Wilde
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Eleanor Roosevelt
“A room without books is like a body without a soul.” Marcus Tullius Cicero
“Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.” William Shakespear
“We read to know that we are not alone.” William Nicholson
I'm about 5'5 with auburn hair (brown that shines red in the sunlight naturally) that lines up with my jaw hinge and charcoal grey eyes (they've got really cool, yet small, gold rings around the pupil). My face is an oval shape, I'm Caucasian (I think). I wear glasses and can't see past a meter (wah!). I wear majoritively black and white clothes with cut-off jeans (real denim, not some jegging rip-off) and black/grey canvas shoes. The personality a lot of people know me by is FAKE, although I'm still rude to everyone I know (except Dan). My moods are unpredictable, so watch out! I have a pretty noticeable lisp and, because my teeth don't align properly (if you bully me, I'll make your life hell), my bottom jaw sits 1/2 a centimeter to the right, just enough to be seen. Sarcasm is my strongest point, adn I'm too curious for my own good. If you think I'm being really mean to you, and you don'tknow me in real life or believe that I'm being quite rude, PM me and I'll clear it up with you, because I'm not a mean person as a rule. Now that's over with, basic stuff about me that I find a lot of people discussing on their profile -
My tips for unblocking writers block -
1) Get up your favourite playlists and write down any lyrics/sentences that stick out to you. Then use one or more to base a paragraph on.
Copy and paste this to your profile and add your own tips to it!
This is a very improtant riddle, particulary the underlined part. If you are a girl, change the he to a she. I'll give you the answer instead of making you guess it:
You cannot see him in the same way as you see others. His voice is different from what you hear. He is always with you when you are alone or in a crowd. He listens to every word you utter. He is your best friend, but speaks to you once in a blue moon? Who's he? Read more at Buzzle:
The answer is yourself. You cannot see yourself in the way you do others. Your voice is different to what you hear. You are always with yourself, and will always listen to yourself. You are your own best friend. I know the riddle says that you onely talk to yourself once in a blue moon, but that's a lie. I talk to myself all the time! Anyway, point is you are your own best friend. No matter what happens, you will always have a friend and someone to talk to in yourself, even in your loneliest times.
I've posted unsigned reviews as ERB000 and Libblepip. Interesting names? I'm an interesting person (once you get past the layers of ice)
My quote (owned be ERB000): DOWN WITH THE SIBLINGS!!!!!!!!!
Just clearing this up. Yes, I'm an Aussie, born and bred Down Under. even so, I'm a city girl though and through. No, I don't say g'day, box with kangaroo's, call every person I know 'mate', or talk like Bunnymund from The Rise of The Guardians. I probably talk faster than a lot of you other people out there in the Northern Hemisphere, but I don't swear my head off (normally. We do have pretty horrible language here, but kids use replacement words like flip, fudge, fudgcicles, crabcakes and ships [figure those out and PM me your answers if you want!]. Apparantly we do swear worse than other countries, but I wouldn't know), I hate bugs (big issue over here), I don't live in the outback and I can't tell if a snake is poisonous or not just by looking. I probably use different phrases over here than you, up there in the US (or anywhere else). If you want, PM me with every single Aussie stereotype and/or phrase you can think of/find and I'll tell you if it's true or not. Now, about me, and not my nationality...
I'm a super messy neat-freak (meaning that everything has to be messy, but still in its place. It doesn't make sense but neither do I) I'm a total nerd, teachers pet (sometimes. Depends on the teacher), will get into serious trouble if I don't exceed a B- and have serious issues with people touching me (minds out of the gutters! Just as in poke, or touch my arm). I love metal/rock music. In fact, I'm listening to Breaking Benjamin as I type.
I'm an oddball through and through, and if you mess with me I've got a powerful kick to follow through with my unpredictable moods and dangerously uncontrollable temper (I'm very patient when it comes to that, only my li'l sis [bullying, abusive prat] and an old friend-turned-bad, who was harassing me about my crush, have suffered my wrath. They both landed flat on their faces). If you try to put me in a dress without giving me a horrid punishment for if I don't, well, all I can say is GOOD LUCK! The psycho bunnies are my minions; DON'T STEAL THEM!!!!!!!!!
I am in L O V E with the supernatural world. Werewolves, vampires, faeries, magicians, witches, sorcerers, sirens, the whole lot of 'em. I love finding out new ones and what they do. I also like a bit of Sci-Fi, like Maximum Ride, Darkest Powers, Star Wars the Clone Wars etc...
I OBSESS over grammar, punctuation, spelling, sentence structure etc. and will probably rant about it on any story I read. Books and music are my life, so if you take them away I'll go on a rampage. I love to write, and will try to keep my stories updated. Don't cross your fingers though, cause I don't do obligation well and have the attention span of about 3 chipmunks. My stories start out good, but will get worse and more cliché as I run out of ideas, so don't be surprised if a good story suddenly turns predictable and horrible. I actually have the maturity level to rival most sensible adults on a good day, and love to argue more than your average debate team. Just so you know, I'm going against my nature and making this as not-business-document like as possible (I know, I'm 13 and can't help but write like a grown-up. Sad, isn't it?)
Anyone who thinks Aussies (yes, back on this topic) all have the same accent; Bunnymund from Rise of the Guardians; you are sorely mistaken. For example, I have Irish and New Zealand roots, so that worked its way in; also English, so there's a bit of that. I've spent a LOT of time in the States, so that definitely rubbed off. One of my teachers is has a slight Brittish accent, so I picked up on that, and I spend a lot of time around my South African friends, so that worked itself there. Depending on what I'm saying, I can sound like I'm from several different places. I have a very keen ear, and often what I listen to has an impact on the way I speak; I play piano by watching and listening to others. I can't read sheet music for fudge.
I hate it on Youtube when people just go on and on and ON about things. You miss the 'old' version of the band? Don't look up the new songs. You think they suck? Well, what the hell are you doing on their video? You think everyone should be Christian and you shove it down another person's throat, making them feel horrible about who they are? What type of person are you? God's word says to love your neighbor, whether he is like you or not. That doesn't sound very loving to me. You hate homosexuals? That's your problem; we don't give a damn. There's nothing wrong with them; haters, spammers, whingers are all the ones who are making Youtube a place where you go purely to argue. In my opinion (yeah, it's different. 'Youtube; the place where you can go to share your opinion as long as it's the same as everyone else's'), Youtube is for the music, the comedy, the fun. It's become a war zone. I know this was long, but if you actually bothered to read it and agree with me, please put something like this on your profile. The things said in the Youtube comments... it's just not right and needs to be stopped!!! Thanks for your time :)
I have plenty of multiple way conversations with myself. Out loud. I'm odd, so what? “The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.” A great, and very true, quote by Goerge Carlin. If you talk to yourself, feel free to copy and paste the quote to your profile!
Now that I've blurbed, I'll put it into slightly simpler format:
NAME: You don't get to know. I will tell you, however, that my initials are ERB
And now onto the favourites...
You think this is overkill? You've barely scratched the surface!... I LOVE MY MUSIC!!!!!
Hmmmm... I'm bored. Here's a list of quirky facts and things not many people know about yours truly!
I can't sleep if I'm wearing pants and/or socks and a long shirt or the fan isn't on. That's right, people, in Winter, I become a popsicle in my sleep!
1: Real Name: You don't get to know! You can try and guess it though...
2.Your nobody name (take all the letters of your first name,mix them around and put an"x" where you think it should go): Thebazixel (if you guess it, PM me)
3.Your gangsta name (the first three letters of your name plus "izzle"): Elizzle
4.Your Detective name(fav. color and fav.animal): Grey Owl
5.Your Soap Oprah name(your middle name and the street you live on): Rose Eatons
6.Your Star Wars name(first three letters of your last name,first two letters of your first): Bevel
7.Your Superhero name(2nd fav color,fav drink): Black Sprite
8.Your Witness Protection name(middle names of your parents): Louise Norman
9.Your Goth name (Black plus the name of one of your pets): Black Cosmo
This quote describes me very well -
“I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”
Copy and pasted stuff...
Just so you know, I love this stuff
READ THIS!!!!! i DON'T CARE IF YOU NORAMALLY SKIP THIS SORTA THING, READ IT!!!!!!
A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.
As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.
The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed.
The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost
For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are.)
I'm ALWAYS SMILING AND LAUGHING, so I MUST have a great life.
I HAVE SCHIZOPHRENIA so I MUST be a psychotic freak that yells at the walls. (To be honest, it's only a teensy suspicion, but I hear and see things that aren't there sometimes, and my imagination is way over active)
I write sad poetry, so I MUST be emo. (sometimes, not really any more, though)
I wear oversized hoodies, so I MUST be a freak or a vampire.
I'm CATHOLIC, so I MUST be going around, blowing up Abortion Centers.( I am against abortion, but I think thats a little extreme...)
I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace,or talking to a girlfriend on a cellphone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with alot of things, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone- Bearhug946, EdwardCullenEqualsLife, Stephanie Deux,Randomenated-Cullen!, sweetcrimefighter, Moonchild707, CetaBabe, Ryuuwriter, WiccaChick98, Danniella888, Born2danceforever, shovelgirlERB000
IMPORTANT THINGS MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME!
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
19. My mother taught me ESP.
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
25. And my favourite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
These from White Knightress's profile -
- If at anytime it starts to look like I care... Tell me, I'd hate to give off the wrong impression.
- Anyone can get hit by a moving car. But I have the skill to get hit by a parked car.
- Notice: Christams has been canceled. Apparently someone told Santa they'd been good this year. He died laughing.
- Just because you finally joined the dark side, does NOT mean that we have to share our cookies. All we said was that we had them, not that we'd share.
- You know those doors that say PULL but you always push instead? Yeah, I hate those.
- Edward Cullen is not a vampire. He sparkles in the daylight, he doesn't eat people and he lives in a forest. Therefore, he must be a fairy.
- Plan B? What plan B. That would mean I have a lack of confidence in Plan A!
- I'm not insane. I prefer the term Mentally Hilarious.
- Snow white lived with seven men, Mario gets high off mushrooms and Sleeping Beauty slept around. And parents wonder why we act the way we do.
- Dear maths, All those years you made me find your X, Face it, she's not coming back.
Dear Kindergarten children, if you don't like nap time, please give it to us. Sincerely High Schoolers
Hey, you. Yes, you, sitting there reading this.
You may not believe this, but I swear to you it's true.
You are beautiful just the way you are. You're an amazing, talented person and you can make it through. There is someone out there that cares about you, there are multiple people out there that care about you, and I'm one of them. :) So don't give up.
The 6 truths of life...
1. You can't lick all of your teeth with your tongue.
2. You just tried to do the above.
3. The first truth is a lie.
4. You're smiling now because you're realizing you're an idiot.
5. You'll copy this into your profile for some other sucker to read it.
6. There's still a stupid smile on your face. XD
Pick the month you were born in-
January I killed
-Pick the day you were born on-
1 A banana
-Pick the color of the shirt you wearing-
White Because a he/she/it stole my taco.
-Now read it all together and laugh at yourself! I slapped my lover because the voices told me to
If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. (Talked to, argued with, lost and been called crazy)
If you have ever walked into a room then forgot what you were doing, then started walking away and remembered copy this into your profile.
If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word, and you do so at random moments, copy and paste this in you're profile.
If several inanimate objects hate you, copy and paste this to your profile. (Yes, chairs, I'm talking to you!)
Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school,
He told his friends that it was cool,
And when he pulled the trigger back,
It shot with a great, huge crack.
Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told,
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold!
When I went to school that day,
I never said good-bye.
I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry.
When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another,
And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother.
Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,
And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush.
And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now,
And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now
And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best
Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest
Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class,
And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass
Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this.
But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss.
And Mommy tell the doctors; I know that they really did try
I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry.
Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest,
But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest
When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could
please listen to me if you would,
I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new
I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo
I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,
I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live.
But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late,
Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry to cancel the date.
I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true
And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you"
In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech Students Who Were Lost
Please if you would,
If you pass this on, Maybe people will cry, Just keep this in your heart, For the people who didn't get to say "Good-bye".
Now you have 2 choices,
1) Pass this on, and show people you care, repost as
I thought this was adorable so read!!!
Girl) Am I pretty?
The boy grabbed her arm
(Boy) You’re not pretty, you’re beautiful
At last! My plans for world domination are complete! MUAHAHAHAA? Oh look, something shiny!:P
FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"
FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days have thee to live..."
FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.
BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"
FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.
BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.
FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.
BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"
FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.
BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.
FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.
BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.
FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.
BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run, fucka, run!"
FRIENDS: Will help you move.
BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.
FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.
FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!
FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN! We screwed up again."
FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when you're not down anymore.
FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.
FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."
FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.
FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.
FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!"
FRIENDS: Would read ignore this
BEST FRIENDS: Would repost this shit!!!!
Friend: Will bail me out of jail
Friend: Will comfort me when he breaks up with me
Friend: Will help me find my way when I'm lost
Friend: Will help me learn to drive
Friend: Will watch my pets when I go away
Friend: Will help me up when I fall down
Friend: Will go to a concert with me
Friend: Will comfort me when he breaks my heart
Friend: Calls your parents by Mr. and Mrs.
Friend: Has never seen you cry
Friend: Never asks for anything to eat or drink
Friend: Asks you to write down your number.
Friend: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back
Friend: Only knows a few things about you
Friend: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing
Friend: Will help you find your prince.
Friend: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.
Friend: Will offer you a soda.
Friend: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.
Friend: Will give you their umbrella in the rain.
Friend: Will help you move.
Friend: Will console you when you house catches on fire.
Friend: Will ask why you're crying.
Friend: Will tell you she knows how you feel.
Friend: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
Friend: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
Friend: Will never ask for food.
Friend: Will knock on your front door.
Friend: Will say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world.
Friend: Will say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours.
Friend: Hides me from the cops
Friend: lets me make an idiot of myself in public
If you've ever asked a stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation, copy and paste this to your profile
Have any siblings: One annoying little sister.
Have any pets: One dog, Tessa and a tame lovebird, Cosmo.
Have a job: Does cleaning bird cages count
Have any special talents or skills: My imagination is constantly on hyper drive, I'm really smart, there's no knot I can't untangle and I have exquisite hearing and smell
Have any fears: Spiders and bugs, being touched anywhere(get your mind outta that gutter! I mean on my arm and stuff like that. It's called haphophobia)
Have a bedtime: Nope
Sing in the shower: sometimes... who wants to know?
Want to go to college/uni: YES!!
Get along with your parents: occasionally. Depends on what mood I'm in.
Have any piercings: Two holes for earings
Have any tattoos: I couldn't put up with the pain. Apparently it's addictive.
Swear: Oh hell yeah. Ask anyone on here who knows me.
Smoke: Gross!! I actually like my lungs in tact, and do not plan on dying from emphysema at age 30, believe it or not!
Drink: Nup, I like my brain cells, thanks
Do drugs: Look up.
Love & all that crap...
Ever been in love: Yeah. Unfortunately now
Ever cheated on a boyfriend: Never had one, and besides, I don't get feelings like that very often and wouldn't be able to take the hurt that would come with it. I'm sensitive
Are you single: Yeeesss...* looks at this thing like its a stalker...*
Do you have a crush on someone: Yea
If you've been bullied and have self-harmed, even once, or considered suicide, post this onto your profile so we know we aren't alone and can make it through.
How to Tell if You're a Writer
Reasons why girls are the best
1.We got off the Titanic first
2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.
3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin and gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.
4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.
6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.
7. Taxis stop for us.
8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.
9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).
11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.
12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.
13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life. (not really, but Oh well)
14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.
15. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
16. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.
17. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.
18. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.
19. We have the ability to dress ourselves.
20. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
21. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.
22. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.
23. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
24. We'll never regret piercing our ears.
25. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
26. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark
(I got this from Vera's copy-slash-paste things, who got it from Randomitis Sufferer, who got this from BellaRide28. It's also on St. Fang of Boredom's profile, who also got it from Randomitis Sufferer.)
One of my best friends died recently; I'm really upset. He was such a great guy and I miss him. Maybe you knew of him. Most people did. I hope it wasn't you who contributed to his death, otherwise I shall dispatch a vicious band of lions to disembowel you. Okay, I don't have a troupe of lions at my disposal, but I can find one, trust me. My friend was a paragon of amazing. His name was Common Sense. I am sorry to inform you of his demise. Mourn with me.
Dearly beloved…we gather here to say our goodbyes. Here he lies…
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life isn't always fair, and maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place.
Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate and teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job they failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.
It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Panadol, sun lotion or a sticky plaster to a student; but, could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar can sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by three stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else is to Blame, and I'm a Victim.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
Rest In Peace, my old friend
If you rearrange the following words, you'll find that the same letters spell the given definition. Someone out there either has too much spare time, or is really good at Scrabble.
Dormitory: Dirty room
Astronomer: Moon starer
George Bush: He bugs Gore
The eyes: They see
Slot machine: Cash lost in me
Desperation: A rope ends it
Presbyterian: Best in prayer
Election results: Lies! Let's recount
Snooze alarm: Alas! no more z's
Eleven plus two: Twelve plus one
Mother in law: Woman Hitler
The Morse code: Here come dots
A decimal point: I'm a dot in place
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As Part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would be known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.
The hard "c" will be dropped if favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 4 letters shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments wil enkourage the removal of double leters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be droped from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German lik zey vunted in ze forst plas.
If zis mad yu smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl
For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework insted of doing it. Crazy is when you draw Edward's face and hot bod all over your Advanced Placement United States History notes when you should be concentrating on the APUSH final the next day.Crazy is when you run into a pole and say as your excuse you were daydreaming about your fictionl boyfriend Edward. Crazy is screaming everytime you hear the name Edward because you think Jacob is 10 times better. HAHA! -laughs at Edward fangirls- --That's Crazy, too. Crazy is when you're not paying attention when the teacher is rambling and you think of something funny from the other day that you don't realize is funny til that moment and you burst into hysterical laughter and the entire class turns around and stares at you and you look the other way and pretend you don't notice. Crazy is when you star in your own movie and pretend to be an assassin... multiple times. Crazy is when you scream for no reason or sing nursery rymes. Crazy is when you hear the Twilight Characters voices in your head. Crazy is when stare at the ceiling for three hours thinking of what to put in the next chapter of your fanfiction and then forget what book it's based on. Crazy is when yu can have 3-5 way conversations with yourself and make up words like 'embarry' and 'fudge' to replace real words because yours sound better and not be embarry. Crazy is when you look up backwards songs on youtube purely to try and find pro-satanic messages. Crazyis when you're more awesome than everyone else, they're just too stubborn to see it and call you a crazy nutcase. Crazy is when you here the voice of your grade school teacher telling you to 'be good' in your head when you're about to do something they consider 'abnormal'or 'wrong', even though to you it seems perfectly sensible and fine. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list.
92 percent of American teens would die if Fang told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would tell Fang to get over himself and then shove him back in your basement where he belongs. Then, you would resurrect the 92 percent of overzealous fangirls and use them as your zombie army to take over Canada and rename it Canadia where you would rule as Queen with Fang by your side as your extremely hot king who has no real political power except to stand there and make you look good and then have Spiffy the Hobbit and Pooky the Penguin attempt to eat him and when they fail miserably tell Fang that he's a "bad boy" and then ask him if he wants a cat.
My ceiling is white. I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two mooses meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? If two mouses are mice and two louses are lice, then why aren't two houses hice? Chocolate tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy this into your profile!
Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, so weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!
Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!
Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.
If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar, copy this into your profile.
My best friend is insane, if you agree or if you have an insane friend than copy this to your profile.
If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile
If you have ever tripped up the stairs, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this into your profile
If you've ever wanted to go into a book and slap/scream at a character copy and paste this onto your profile
If you still laugh re-reading Maximum Ride, copy and paste this onto your profile
If you want to see Maximum Ride (the movie) on the first day it comes out, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you have an increasingly sophisticated and extensive vocabulary, situate this in your characterization
If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you don't understand nd couldn't give a damn about text talk, and wonder why people are so lazy they find the written language boring (red card!), copy and paste this on your profile and take a stand against stupid and confusing sub-languages!
If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you absolutely KILLED yourself laughing when Gazzy said "'I vill now destroy de Snickurs bahrs!' then copy this to your profile!
If you think that Writer's Block sucks, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.
If you've ever thought about something when you were talking about something else, copy and paste this into your profile. (all the time! One of my many skills is thinking about something completely unrelated when typing or talking to someone. I think it's a talent worthy of the upcoming resume!)
If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are obsessed with Fanfiction, then copy this into your profile
If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile
IF YOU’VE BEEN ON THE COMPUTER FOR HOURS ON END, READING NUMEROUS FANFICTIONS, COPY THIS ONTO YOUR PROFILE.
If you laughed out loud while reading Maximum Ride, copy this onto your profile
If you go through profiles like mad, looking at all of the copy/pastey-thingies, and copy/paste every single one that has a remote chance of being interesting, fill up your profile to the limit, and continue doing it, copy and paste this to your profile
If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile
If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.
If you love copy and paste its, even though there useless, copy this in your profile
If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile
If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile
If you've ever questioned the boundaries of outer space, and come up with a plausible theory that involve things from fantasy stories that you love, copy and paste this to your profile in hopes of convincing all those stubborn scientists that there are actually parallel universes!
Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this into your profile if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "Where to begin?"
If you compulsively edit other people's work , copy and paste this into your profile.
If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile
If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.
If you ever felt like killing someone (or more than one person) because they wouldn't leave you alone when you told them not to distract you because you were busy, copy this onto your profile
If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this is your profile.
If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile
IF YOU HAVE EVER BURST OUT LAUGHING ABOUT SOMETHING IN A BOOK, AND PEOPLE LOOKED AT YOU WEIRD, COPY AND PASTE THIS ONTO YOUR PROFILE!
If you ever wondered who made up all the 'copy this into your profile' thingies then COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE
If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.
If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.
If you have sudden mood changes out of nowhere copy and paste this into your profile.
If you're crazy and you know it, don't just clap your hands, but copy and past this into your profile!
If you ever wished you could talk to animals or be an animal, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever walked into a window copy this onto your profile
If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever yelled at an inanimate object for not listening to you, copy and paste this into your profile.
If that inatimate object now hates you more because you yelled at it, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are in lala land most of the time copy this into your profile.
If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are bored and like to write stuff, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever been looking for something, then forgot what it was and why it was so important, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have a mind that you're sure no one will understand, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile
If you think it's stupid that girls are automatically labeled with the color pink, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are such a loser that you actually read all these 'If you ever blah blah blah, copy this into your profile' things, copy this into your profile
If you are so cool that you actually read through all of these copy this into your profile!!
If you can't stand preppy people who talk like this: "I, like, can't believe, I, like, chipped my manicure!!", copy and paste this into your profile.
If a lot of people think you hate them, when you just treat them like you treat everyone else who you couldn't give a damn about, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you enjoy copying and pasting these copy and paste thingys, copy and paste this onto your profile
If you've ever felt like something was watching you and then turned around to find nothing, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have a little voice inside your head that talks to you constantly and won't shut up, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you like rollercoasters paste this.
Put this in your profile if you know a person or two who needs to get squished by a bus... or Tyler Crowley's van
If Fanfiction to you is what MySpace is to other people, copy this into your profile.
If you always say 'uhhh...' when someone questions you, instead of replying shortly, copy/paste this into your profile.
If you or someone you know has ever run through something (glass door, window, wall, etc) copy this to your profile.
If you have an annoying younger sibling, please copy and paste this in your profile.
If you ever purposely created an awkward moment...because it was funny, copy and paste this on to you profile!
If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile
If you've ever tried to lick your elbow and knew that it was physically impossible, copy this to your profile
Girls rule now and forever. Copy & paste this in your profile if you agree
If you frequently use words that your spell checker says don't exist, put this on your profile (Hey, jsut cause I obsess, soesn't mean I'm not looney and like to make up words! That's what creative writers do!)
iF YOU'VE EVER TYPED A WHOLE SENTENCE AND THEN LOOKED UP AND REALIZED THE CAPS LOCK WAS ON AT THE WRONG TIME, PUT THIS ON YOUR PROFILE!
If you hate racism, copy and paste this into your profile:
If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile
If you love walking around in the pouring rain without an umbrella, copy this to your profile
If you are anti-social sometimes, copy this into your profile (more like all the time.. What can I say? I'm the most distrusting person on the planet, you gotta expect me to be anti-social!)
If you think that life without computers is useless, copy this to your profile
If you believe that the pink bunnies of doom are really out to get you copy and paste this onto your profile
If you have ever heard the voices of the characters of the book you're reading in your head...copy/paste this into your profile.
If you took the time to read all of these (and you usually do), copy and paste this onto your profile
If you have ever slapped your self on the head and/or banged your head on a table for no reason put this on your profile
If you could easily finish one novel a day, copy this onto your profile. (Okay, not certain at all whether means "write" or "read", but I can do both.)
If you have ever had done something or said something that made perfect sense to your real friends and only caused your "peers" to look at you strangely and roll their eyes, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever cried when your favorite character in a movie, TV show, or book died, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you agree, that purple bunnies who are high on CATNIP and eat TACOS WILL rule the world, copy and paste this into your profile (what? I told you I'm insane. And besides, where's the proof they don't exist, again?)
If you are Homo sapiens, put this in your profile.
If you love irritating people with these annoying copy and paste things, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever started singing in a silent room copy this onto your profile
Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
Labels are for cans, and in case you haven't noticed - I'm not a can, so don't label me.
Excuse me...have you seen my sanity?...I think I lost it.
Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried slamming a revolving door...
STRESS: A condition brought on by over-riding the bodies natural desire to choke the living daylights out of some jerk who desperately deserves it.
I had a friend once, but then the rope broke and he got away.
You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.
I'm the kind of person who will burst out laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.
Being mature is overrated.
Being weird is like being normal, only better.
I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.
Life isn't passing me by, its trying to run me over.
One day, will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject
When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it
I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life?
Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.
Silence is golden and duct tape is silver.
When life gives you lemons throw them in life's face, they're probably poisoned.
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then watch the world wonder how you did it.
Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history
Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out
One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh, he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.
WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, and off the occasional cliff
I’m not afraid of Death, what’s it gonna do kill me?
It’s always the last place you look. Of course it is - why would I keep looking after I’ve found it?
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them, you're a mile away and have their shoes
I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going, and hook up with them later.
The sooner you fall behind the more time you'll have to catch up.
If you can't fix it with duck tape you haven't used enough!
I didn't lose my mind, I sold it on eBay.
There is no "I" in team but there is definitely a "ME"...
I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends, for I may not return alive.
Duct tape is like the force, it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together.
Education is important, school however, is another matter.
Don’t mess with me - I've got a stick.
I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow's not looking good, either.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
Keep smiling - it makes everyone wonder what your up too
I am NOT saying you're stupid...I'm just implying it.
If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague
If all else fails, destroy all evidence that you tried.
Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse.
The person who smiles when things go wrong has found someone to blame it on.
Never argue with an idiot. They'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.
I'd tell you to go to hell, but I work there and really don't want to see you everyday.
Normal people scare me...but not as much as I scare them.
Even if the voices aren't real, they have some good ideas.
Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back.
Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.
When in doubt, push random buttons!
There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train.
There are three kinds of people. Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest who have to test the electric fence for themselves.
Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever you just keep on talking.
You know, you do this annoying thing where you open your mouth and then these things you call words come out. Yeah like that. Stop it.
An idiot is a 44th floor window washer who steps back to admire his work.
Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?
Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.
A clear conscience is usually a sign of memory loss.
There are no stupid questions, just a lot of inquisitive idiots.
Love your enemies. It gets them really confused.
Writing isn't a career, it's more of a mental illness.
Anything thrown hard enough should hurt.
Curiosity killed the cat, satisfaction brought him back, but stupidity killed him again.
Flying is simple, you just throw yourself at the ground and miss.
Some say the glass is half full, some say it's half empty, I say, "Are you gonna drink that?"
All people have the right to stupidity but some people abuse the privilege.
The trouble with life, is there's no background music.
A clean house is a sign of a broken computer!
Do not walk behind me for I may not lead, do not walk in front of me for I may not follow, do not walk beside me either. JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!
Don't piss me off, I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.
I don't get even, I get odder.
If life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Then throw it back at life and steal the oranges you asked for!
In order to lose your mind, you have to have one in the first place.
I've learned from my mistakes, and I'm sure I could repeat them exactly.
You have the right to remain silent, anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.
Chaos, panic, pandemonium, my work here is done.
When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.
I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear into my crib.
At my lemonade stand I used to give away the first glass for free, and charge five dollars for the refill. It contained the antidote.
If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em.
Her dad was a drunk
She always talked to it
Until her parents
A bruise on her leg
But she grabs her bear
She sits in the corner
Such a bad life
Then one night
Then her mom suddenly
She thrust the blade
The mom walked out
Police showed up
One officer slowly
It must have been bad
Copy and paste this onto your profile if you have a heart (I might be rude, but I'm not the heartless monster that some people think I am)
They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.
I'm funny, you're funny looking. So, we have something in common. But I still don't like you. So go away.
Save the trees, wipe your ass with an owl.
How do you kill a blue elephant? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? Choke it 'till it turns blue then shoot it with the blue elephant gun.
"'Waiting for inspiration' is just a romantic way of describing procrastination." Stephen Minot
98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.
Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile.
If you have ever started humming a song that you have absolutely no idea what it is put this on your profile.
Imagine a world where every person who reads a fic also reviews it ... authors would be the happiest people alive.
If you've ever threatened your computer, copy and paste this into your profile
Copy and paste this to your profile if you've ever forgotten to save, quit the digital activity, and lost ALLyour data!
You guys'll never believe this, but clever, intelligent me had HUNDREDS of copy'n'paste it things on here for you awesome people to read, and then clever, intelligent me forgot to save it regularly and lost all of it when my fudgcicle mouse spazzed and clicked on a new link! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now how am I, an amazing Aussie with an awesome talent for annoying the crap outta people, conna annoy the crap outta you! XD
If there are times when you want - and proceed - to annoy people just for the hell of it, but not out of any personal animosity towards said people, copy this into your profile.
If you're a metal lover, no matter what people say about you, copy and paste this to your profile
MAXIMUM RIDE FAN QUESTIONS:
Yeah... Is that a bad thing?
2. Did you cry when Ari died?
3. Do you think Fang is hot?
4. How do you pronounce Ari's name?
Ari - Pronunciation (Are-y)
5. Do you laugh every time you read the name Mr. Chu?
No, until I sneezed whilst reading about him, and THAT made me laugh
6. -SPOILER ALERT- In MAX, did you laugh hysterically when Total started talking about marriage?
Oh yeah; you gotta love it when a drama queen (king, whatever) of a mutt starts discussing marriage with a semi-human!
Nope, I like Miggy better, even if it's not actually real
8. Did you angrily throw your book across the room when the flock split up?
No, but I did yell 'What the flip are you thinking!!!!!!!!!!!'
9. Who is your favorite character?
10. Did you like Jeb?
11. -SPOILER ALERT- Were you making a genuine "WTF" face when Max and Fang grew gills?
No, but I did when they were swimming at depths that shoud have pulverised them; what? I think Angel needs to be taught a lesson
12. Did you think MAX was better than TFW?
yes TFW was the worst book of the series!
13. -SPOILER ALERT- Did you get slightly fed up with Nudge and Angel's slight attitudes in MAX?
I did with Angel's, I'm always annoyed with her attitude, but i understood Nudge's
14. Which book is your all time favorite?
15. If the flock had a theme song, what would it be?
Dark Horses by Switchfoot -
Hey, you can count us out
We’ve been running up against the crowd
Yeah, we are the dark horses
Wait, it’s not over now
We’ve been down but we’ve never been out
Yeah, we are the dark horses
Hey, you can count us out
We’ve been running up against the crowd
Yeah, we are the dark horses
We, don’t care what they say
We know we’ll find a way
Yeah, we are the dark horses
Just listen to the song and imagine the flock strutting their stuff to it!
16. Have you ever imagined the flock as a band playing whatever song comes up when listening to your iPod?
Yup! I sure do! Wait...does anyone else? Cuz, if not, now I feel like a weirdo
17. Who do you think the voice should be?
Uhhh... Maybe someone who she thought wanted to kill her?
18. Do you think one or more members of the flock should learn to play an instrument?
Max and Fang should play guitar, Iggy should do drums, Nudge would do keyboard, Gazzy, um, bass? and Angel, uhm, she should sing, maybe, or be the agent so she could force people to listen! (I'm evil, whatever)
19. What bugged you the most about TFW?
it was too different...off topic, global warming obsessed, and too much Brigid!
Favourite Maximum Ride quotes -
"Coke, it's not just for breakfast anymore."--Fang, Maximum Ride The Angel Expirement.
"You die when we die."--Fang-MR:SoF
"Forget it! Nobody's getting married! Not in New Hampshire, or anywhere else! Not in a box, not with a fox. Now go to sleep before I kill you." Max-MR:MAX
"South America. It'll be warm. They have llamas! You like llamas!" Max-MR:MAX
"I choose you, Max" Fang-MR:MAX (AWWW!!)
Fang: Max. The one thing we have is each other. The one thing we can depend on, not matter what. We have to...talk about stuff."Max: I liked it better when you didn't talk. I mean there's a reason people don't look under rocks, you know?Fang: Meaning what? We're going to pretened nothing's going on? That's stupid. The only way to deal with any of this is to get it out there in the open.Max: Have you been watching Oprah again? Max and Fang, STWAOES
"I have a highly developed sense of irony." Iggy-MR:StWaOES
"I vill now destroy de snickuhs bahrs!" Gazzy-MR: StWaOES
"So I should sleep with the posessed boy to stay safe?" Max in Fangalicous08's story The Ouija Board.
Tanya, a government official/Social worker:"Ms. Batchelder!"
"Holy (insert swear word of your choice here.)"-Fang-MR-AE
"I look like prep school Barbie. Actually, you look like prep school Barbie. I'm just one of her friends." -Nudge-MaximumRide-SOF
"Those wacky Brits called fries 'chips'. And potato chips were 'crisps'. And cookies were 'biscuits'. I had no idea what real biscuits were called. Wangdoodles?" Max-MR-StWaOES
Jeb turned to her. "She's incorruptible." Bully for me. "At least by power." I said. "You haven't tried chocolate or cute shoes" Max and Jeb-MR-Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports.
You... are...a... fridge...with...wings...We're...freaking...ballet...dancers! Fang-MR-SOF
"I'm hit, Max. They got me. I guess I'm gonna live fast, die young, and leave a beautiful corpse, huh?" Okay. In my experience, if you're really hit or seriously hurt, you don't say much. -Total and Max-MAX
Fang swerved closer to me, big and supremely graceful, like a black panther with wings. Oh, God. I'm so stupid. Forget I just said that. -Max-MAX
"What's your name?" "Isabella von Frankenstein Rothschild." -Angel answering Steve-MAX
"Optimism is overrated, Max. Its better to face realitly head-on." -The Voice-SOF
"I feel like pudding, Pudding with nerve endings. Pudding in great pain." -Iggy-AE
When you die, and your life is flashing before your eyes...make it worth watching-A very true quote by Max- Phoenix Fanatic's story, Conundrum
"Impossible is simply a word that is always used by people with no courage or even resolve so they can live in their small world without ever really standing up and actually making any difference."-Fang- Phoenix Fanatic's story, Conundrum
In the end, you could say the whole experience changed the Flock's lives forever.
But this isn't the end, now is it?
This is the begining.
And the begining we will start at.-Max- Phoenix Fanatic's story, Conundrum
"Alright, class. I know you're all excited about that yearly social meltdown event called prom, but, unless you'd like to fail my class in the name of sparkly dresses and spiked punch, you all have a project to work on. So please, get with your partners and get to work. If you need me, I'll be at my desk, taking a coffee break, and no, Alanna, you can't have any."-Mr. Hardy-St. Fang of Boredom's story, Fly By Twilight: The Coven
"You aren't dead."(Nudge) "No. You aren't dead either. How about just 'hello'?"(Iggy)
"I love Nudge, Nudge is a great kid, but that motor mouth of hers could have turned Mother Teresa into an ax murderer,"-Max
"For God's sake, Nudge, my ears are bleeding!"-Iggy
Max: "We look identical. She even had identical scars and scratches. She was wearing my clothes. How could you tell us apart?'
"Just because wonder boy is stuck to the ground doesn't mean I have to be. I've evolved past being stuck to the ground."-Max StWaOES
Ter Borcht:"Vhy do You let a girl be de leader?"
"Now, let's say they come and get us." -Max
Ter Borcht:"I assume you alvys hold onto someone's shirt, yes? Following dem closely?"
"Nope," I said. "We're kinda low-tech than that." Like, having Kleenex would be a huge step up for us.-Max TAE
I made one of my famous snap decisions, the kind that everyone remembers later for being either the stupidest dumb-butt thing they ever saw or else the miraculous saving of the day. I seemed to hear more of the first kind. That's gratitude for you. – Max
Ter Borcht:"Is dere anysing special about you? Anysing vorth saving?"
"We were in a top-secret facility in the middle of Death Valley, officially called 'Freaking Nowhere' on any map, and yet he managed to produce marshmallows." -Max
Teacher:" This morning i'm going to give a pop quiz about this week's words, just to see where everyone is and where we need to focus"
"Let's get out of here. A Ouija board just told me to save the world." -Max
"Boy, you just can't kill people like you used to." -Fang
"Now, Max, I think we both know your parents aren't missionaries." -FBI investigator
"Can we see him?" -Iggy
"Its a baby plane. Its gonna grow up to be seven-forty-seven one day" -Angel
"Buckingham Palace? You know, like where the Queen lives. And Mr. Queen?" - Nudge
"Every book has an ending...but in life every ending is a new beginning"
"The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with."
"People think it must be fun to be smart, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world"
"There's no half-singing in the shower, you're either a rock star or you stink.”
"Be a loser because 'cool' is overrated"
"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."
"We may not make good decisions But heck, we make good stories."
"Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one. "
"I didn't lie! I just created fiction with my mouth! "
"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells."
"Imagination is more important than knowledge."
"The difference between genius and stupidity is; genius has its limits."
brave enough to
92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your butt off.
If you still laugh rereading Maximum Ride, copy and paste this onto your profile.
Copy this and paste it on your profile if you think sarcasm is a conditioned reflex. (What? I love my sarcasm, thank you; It's my main defence!)
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica, twilightgirl1918, Just A Little Bit Dramatic, Pirates OWNS you, Cripsee, I'll have some stupid cliche, Insane Winged Girl, UPDRAFTGIRL37,silentflier, Maximum Ride the Hero, Kara Nicole,Maya AKA JeanTheQueen, birdgirl24, PinkPearlWings07, shovelgirlERB000
If you want to see Maximum Ride (the movie) on the first day it comes out, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you would kill to have wings, post this in your profile (or an epic tail; that would be cool too...)
If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.
If your friends are WEIRD (But not as weird as you) put this on your profile
If at first you don't succeed, don't you EVER try skydiving
There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train.
Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over
Don't hate yourself in the morning- sleep till noon
Aren't the good things that come to those who wait just the leftovers from the people that got there first?
Duct tape is like the force, it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together
Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them more
You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it
We fall for stupid boys, we make lots of dumb mistakes, we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But us teenage girls, we're really going at one thing, staying strong.
When life gives you lemons, make apple juice, then laugh while people try to figure out what the heck you did
You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same
Toes arent needed for balance. They are just a helpful tool for finding items in the dark. Painfully
Yes, I hit like a girl. You could too if you hit just a little bit harder.
Who ever said that words never hurt obviously has never got hit by a dictionary.
Nine of the ten Voices in my head think I'm sane. The tenth is undecided
Growing older is manditory. Growing up is Optional
Welcome to the Ool. There's no "p" in it, lets keep it that way.
Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs
“Everything here is eatable. I'm eatable, even, but that my children is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies." Willy Wonka I believe.
He who stands on a windowsill to see how far out he can lean without falling is a moron.
One way to figure out how things work, push all the buttons!
If you can't convince them, confuse them (and let me tell you, it works a treat! They stop arguing because they don't know what the heck you're talking about)
Doctors say I have multiple personalities. We disagree with that.
It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn.
I hate it when the voices and my imaginary friends fight.
If all else fails, try reading the instructions.
I'm not clumsy... The floor just hates me.
My imaginary friend thinks you have a very serious problem...
You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes. (or not; who said i was coming back?)
You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I get a parachute, and save your stupid butt.
I can't die, because I'm the main character of my own life
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes
Ever stop to think and forget to start again? (er... yeah; When i think i stop smiling, and often have my science teacher hounding me for not smiling)
Someday we'll look back at this, laugh nervously, and change the subject
Even if the voices aren’t real, they have some good ideas (too right)
There are 3 kinds of people, those who learn by reading, a few who learn from observation and the rest who just have to test the electric fence for themselves
A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws. :) (it's happened!)
Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES! (doesn't mean we'll share them though)
Life was so simple when boys had cooties (no , because then i was friendless)
I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends (sorry guys ;D)
I ran with scissors, and lived!
I don't obsess! I think intensely.
I'm right 90 percent of the time, so why worry about the other 3?
I'm on a diet. I only eat chocolate on days that end in "y".
"1 out of every 4 people are insane. Look at your three best friends, if it's not them, it's you."(*counts on fingers*one, two, three...uh oh)
"There are no stupid questions, just stupid people."
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
ACTUAL PRODUCT LABELS:
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought?...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking this because?...)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (You don't wanna know what's going through my head on this one...)
On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
On a baby stroller: "Warning: Remove infant before folding stroller." (what did you think you were supposed to do?)
10 WAYS TO MAINTAIN A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and
2. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN".
3. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has
4. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for smuggling
5. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
6. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat - with a serious
7. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".
8. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical
9. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock
10. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won! I won!"
11. GO TO IHOP AND ORDER A FANG CAKE :D (DOLSM)
This is weird, but interesting! If you can raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can. I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed erveylteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! Ptase tihs to yuor porlfie if you can raed tihs! (SPELLING'S STILL IMPORTANT!)
I was walking around in a store. I saw a cashier hand this little boy his money back saying
This touched my heart so if it touched yours too, post this on your profile
93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly, Alleyanna Cullen, hugs.4.all.the.emo.boyz, WritingRocks6, GlindaFied26, XxXpurplelilyxXx, Bookluvrxoxo, Daydreamer897, The Friendly Chupacabra, Shorty and KG Inc., AVirgoGirl, xcheergrlx3, Mrs.DiAngelo, zeusgirl39, 7Cerberus7, Cadisha Ora Rhaksha Caden, Don't Shoot the Puppy, PinkPearlWings07, ERB000
Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?
Girl: Do you like me?
Girl: Do you want me?
Girl: Would you cry if I left?
Girl: Would you live for me?
Girl: Would you do anything for me?
Girl: Choose--me or your life
Boy: My life
The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...
The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.
The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.
The reason I don't want you is because I need you.
The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.
The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.
The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.
The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.
If you find this incredibly cute and touching, copy and paste it into your profile
I wish there was a pen with the copy'n'paste function. Copy and paste if you agree!
Dont ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who are alive. - Howard Thurman
Sometimes all you need is a broken heart to realize that something even better is right in front of our eyes, just waiting to be found.
You always say you hate to see me hurt, and you hate to see me cry. So all those times that you hurt me, did you close your eyes
Usually when people are sad, they don't do anything. They just cry over their condition. But when they get angry, they bring about a change
“An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves. A realist goes to bed before midnight because they know they have to get up in the morning, New Year or not."
It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth -- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up -- that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had.
If you're like me and LOVE good quotes, copy and paste this link to your profile, then take a look! -
“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.” - Albert Einstein (Gotta love Einstein!)
“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You too? I thought I was the only one.” C.S. Lewis
Man: Where have you been all my life? Woman: Hiding from you.
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Your place or mine? Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: So, what do you do for a living? Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign? Woman: Do not enter.
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilized.
Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man: I would go to the ends of the world for you. Woman: But would you stay there?
Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. Woman: If I could see you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put u and i together. Woman: Really? I'd put f and u together.
Man: Your eyes, they're amazing. Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing.
Man: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? Woman: About as much as when you got kicked out of Hell.
Girls, copy and paste this on your profile!
(x)You love hoodies.
YOUR GIRL SIDE:
( )You wear lip gloss/stick.
In other words, very infeminine for a girl
The Percy Jackson pledge:
Not all scars show and not all wounds heal, but sometimes you can never know the pain one truly feels
Don't judge me unless you have looked through my eyes, experienced what I have and cryed as many tears as me. until then, back off!
Head up, stay strong, fake a smile and move on
You think I'm so tough, but I just never let you see me cry
Are you ok? Yeah, just tired.
What doesn't kill you is gonna leave a scar
The lonliest people are the kindest; the saddest people are the brightest and the most damaged people are the wisest. All because they don't want anyone to suffer the way they do.
Don't ever mistake my silence for ignorance, my calmness for acceptance and my kindness for weakness.
Do you hate me? No, I don't hate you; however, I really hope your next period happens in a shark tank (girl's joke)
Never let your tears and sensitivity blind you - if someone hurt you, they showed you who they really are. Be strong and move on
Tired of being the one who helps everyone, who makes people laugh and who is the shoulder that everyone comes to when they need one to cry on, when, if I need to cry, I'm all alone. - Kelsy Hembree
Life asked Death "Why do people love me but hate you?" and Death replied "Because you are a beautiful lie, and I'm the painful truth"
I hate it when someone treas you like shit and you still care about them, even though you know you shouldn't.
Don't you just love feeling like the fly on the wall?
If I could get a firm grip on reality, I'd choke it.
Are you mad at me? No; I'm actually ecstatic that you broke my heart into tiny little pieces.
Always remember that you're unique; just like everyone else
To love is to destroy, and to be loved is to be destroyed (Mortal Instruments, Mortal Instruments - Valentine to Jace)
Hi! I'm sarcastic; what's your super power?
Sometimes, I just wanna disappear; purely to see if anyone would miss me
I have a Masters from the School of Life; I majored in Sarcasm and minored Being a Smart-Ass (and I'm still in highschool!)
Every person on planet Earth has a story. Don't judge people before you truly know them; the truth might surprise you.
Life doesn't hand me lemons; it throws grenades at me.
People say that there are lots of fish in the sea. I say, that's all well and good, but I'm a human and I don't date fish.
I look for you everywhere I go in hopes of running into you; except I never see you. You're never there; you never were.
Whatever you give a woman, she is going to multiply it. If you give her sperm, she gives you a baby; If you give her a house, she gives you a home; If you give her groceries, she gives you a meal; If you give her a smile, sh gives you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges whatever you give her. That's why, if you give her any crap, you'll recieve a ton of shit!
Listento what people say when they're mad (particularly me), cause that's when the truth comes out
Who you think I am -
A girl will chase you around for a long time until, one day, she'll stop running in circles around you. She's going to get over you and, at that moment, you will wish that you had just let her catch you.
My silence is not my weakness, but the beginning of my revenge.
Only fools fall in love; and I'm one of them.
Every heart feels pain; it is just expressed in different ways. Some people hide it in their eyes; some in their silence; and some in their beautiful, captivating, contagious smiles.
Never again will I let anyone in
I want a guy who...
Sticks and stones will break my bones and words will shatter my soul.
You come into this world alone, and youleave it alone also; isn't it so much better to just live it alone and even the playing feild?
They say true love hides in every corner; I must be walking in ginormous circles.
So many people miss the silver lining; it's all because they're looking for the gold that's not really there.
The more you show your true feelings, the more people find ways to hurt you.
Live like there's no tomorrow; learn like you'll live forever.
HOMOPHOBIA IS STUPID!!
I am the boy who never finished high school, because I got called a fag everyday.
THAT'S STUFFED UP! IF YOU BELIEVE HOMOPHOBIA IS WRONG...REPOST THIS (I'm not gay, but seriously; what is with people? These people are human two, what makes them so different? So horrible? Absolutely nothing, that's what!)
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