Author has written 1 story for Pokémon.
Let's get strait to the point.
Gender:(what, does everything have to start with name now?)Guy
Things I like:PJATO,PKM,HP,TKC,RA,TIC,FCN,and swimming.
You say Twilight I say Harry Potter
Copy/Paste this if you agree that Harry Rules!
…In remembrance of Fred Weasley…
…Who fought bravely to the very end….
…And whose jokes will forever brighten his other half…
…And will loyally await his identical brother…
… with many jokes…
...he's got forever to think of them, right?
...In remembrance of Dobby...
…Who was more free and full of love…
...than any elf, and most humans.
….In remembrance of Remus J. Lupin….
...the last real Marauder...
…who was not just a wonderful father…
….a incredible husband and brave hero…
...as well as a totally awesome werewolf. :D
….In remembrance of Nymphadora Tonks…
…who died for ‘the greater good’…
...and would probably hex me for calling her Nymphadora.
…In remembrance of Alastor ‘Mad-Eye’ Moody….
…who’s motto ‘constant vigilance’ kept him alive…
...and scared the crap out of some kids too.
…In remembrance of Tom Marvolo Riddle a.k.a. Voldemort….
…who was pretty cool when he was younger…
…but who got his bottom thoroughly kicked in the end.
…In remembrance of Albus Dumbledore…
…whose past and wisdom confused us…
…whose seeming betrayal shocked us…
…but who actually turned out to be an okay guy in the end...
...despite the whole 'almost killing Harry' thing.
In remembrance of Bellatrix Lestrange…
… because it’s was awesome how Molly slapped her with that Avada Kedavra...
...she deserved everything she got and more.
…In remembrance of Colin Creevey…
…who we really didn’t know too well…
…but took a lot of pictures and died fighting in a war…
…so he must’ve done something good…
…besides stalking Harry.
…In remembrance of Severus Snape….
….A Slytherin who died like a Gryffindor…
...without all the red and gold crap.
…In remembrance of Hedwig…
...Harry’s actual first friend…
...who lived and died soaring.
...In remembrance of George's right ear...
...whose death wasn't really necessary...
...but caused many jokes, albeit pathetic.
When you were 5, your mom gave you an ice-cream cone. You thanked her by yelling at her that it's the wrong kind.
When you were 9, your mom drove you from swimming to soccer to soccer and one birthday party to another. You thanked her by slamming the door and never looking back.
When you were 10, your mom paid for piano classes. You thanked her by never coming to class.
When you were 12, your mom was waiting for a very important call. You thaned her by talking on the phone all night.
When you were 14, your mom paid for a month away at summer camp. You thanked her by not bothering to write a single letter.
When you were 16, your mom taught you how to drive her car. You thanked her by taking it every chance you got.
When you were 18, your mom cried at your high school graduation. You thanked her by partying until dawn.
When you were 20, your mom drove you to college. You thanked her by saying goodbye outside the dorm so you wouldn't have to in front of your friends.
When you were 26, your mom paid for your wedding. You thanked her by moving halfway across the world.
When you were 30, your mom fell ill and needed you to take care of her. You thanked her by reading about the burden parents are to their children.
Then on night she died quietly and everything you did came crashing down on you.
If you love your mom, copy and paste this in your profile. If you don't, then you won't care if your mom dies, will you?
At age 8, your dad buys you an ice cream. You thanked him by dripping it all over his lap.
When you were 9 years old, he paid for piano lessons. You thanked him by never even bothering to practice.
When you were 10 years old he drove you all day, from soccer to football to one birthday party after another. You thanked him by jumping out of the car and never looking back.
When you were 11 years old, he took you and your friends to the movies. You thanked him by asking to sit in a different row.
When you were 12 years old, he warned you not to watch certain TV shows. You thanked him by waiting until he left the house.
When you were 13, he suggested a haircut that was in fashion. You thanked him by telling him he had no taste.
When you were 14, he paid for a month away at summer camp. You thanked him by forgetting to write a single letter.
When you were 15, he came home from work, looking for a hug. You thanked him by having your bedroom door locked.
When you were 16, he taught you how to drive his car. You thanked him by taking it every chance you could.
When you were 17, he was expecting an important call. You thanked him by being on the phone all night.
When you were 18, he cried at your high school graduation. You thanked him by staying out partying until dawn.
When you were 19, he paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus carried your bags. You thanked him by saying good-bye outside the dorm so you wouldn't be embarrassed in front of your friends.
When you were 25, he helped to pay for your wedding, and he told you how deeply he loved you. You thanked him by moving halfway across the country.
When you were 50, he fell ill and needed you to take care of him . You thanked him by reading about the burden parents become to their children.
And then, one day, he quietly died. And everything you never did came crashing down like thunder on your heart.
If you love your dad, post this on your profile. (Whether you're reading this or not, dad, I love you.)
- TT-- Put this
Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list.
iNsOmNiAc BiLlIe JoE lOvEr,
Black Panther Warrior,
Teh Crazy Bizarro Arineko,
What contented men desire,
Jessie Summer Wolf (being popular isn't everything. There are things in this world that are a lot better.)
I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back."The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The Cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll."
Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''
The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''
Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.
"It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas.
She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."
I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.
But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there."
His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''
My heart nearly stopped.
The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall."
Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me."
"I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister."
Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.
I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''
"OK" he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.
The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!"
Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!''
"I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''
"My mommy loves white roses."
A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.
Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.
The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma.
Was this the family of the little boy?
Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away.
I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.
She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.
I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine.
And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.
Now you have 2 choices:
1) Repost this message, or
2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart
Greetings to the fine folk that moderate our site.
Many great authors have been writing and posting on your fine site for years now, some of the better examples of up and coming writers out there are now suddenly finding some of the stories we've come to love at risk of being removed without the chance to even rectify our errors.
It's quite easy to simply add an MA rating, additional filters or even a simple requirement for a free membership to read the stories presented here, and would cut down on hateful anonymous reviews and posts at the same time, so I have to question as to why such a thing, in all this time, simply wasn't added.
If you're worried about falsification of a registration then have an appropriate disclaimer and then there can be no dispute, you took your steps and the PARENTS didn't monitor their children, if that is even your concern. If it is more of a personal view or desire then please at least let people know and give them a chance to remove a story that you and yours find offensive, most people on the site are actually rather cordial when it comes to such requests.
While I cannot say for sure if this letter will even reach those that may be willing to listen, of if it's more akin to a wide spectrum purge in preparation for something bigger, please understand that you are going to be loosing a LARGE number of your writers, and thus your income from a lack of readers if there is not some level of action taken to help with this situation.
For those that may agree with this, please feel free to sign on and send this to the support server, maybe we can get some movement on this.
Agato the Venom Host
The Dark Graven
Lord Orion Salazar Black
Kumo no Makoto
Korraganitar the NightShadow
Final Black Getsuga
Masane Amaha's King
Nero Angelo Sparda
bunji the wolf
Shi Kami The Murderous Prodigy
Paco the Taco Maker
Agato the Venom Host
The Dark Graven
Lord Orion Salazar Black
Kumo no Makoto
Korraganitar the NightShadow
Final Black Getsuga
Masane Amaha's King
Nero Angelo Sparda
The Next Muse
Blood of the Dawn
Infinite Alpha-Omega 1
Jessie Summer Wolf
1F Y0U C4N UND3R574ND 7H15 M355463 C0PY 17 4ND P4573 17 1N70 Y0UR PR0F1L3
If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. Oh the irony...
If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.
There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE that it's weird. If you agree, copy and paste this and put it in your profile.
If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile
98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile.
Too many people smoke marijuana. If you don't, copy this into your profile.
If you dislike people who dislike people who aren't pretty, copy this into your profile.
Spread the Stupidity
Only in America ...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.(THEY'S KILLIN THEMSELVES!!!!!)
Only in America ...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke. (U GONNA GET FAT except from tha soda HAHAHA!!!!!)
Only in America ...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. (IMA GONNA ROB A BANK!!!! just the pens, of course. JUST TO PROVE I CAN!!!!!!! then ill return them nicely)
Only in America ...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage. (OOHH... SHINY...)
Only in America ...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight. (HAHA!! UNPROPORTIONALNESS!!!!!!)
Only in America ...do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'. (STUPID VAMPIRE GOVERNMENT!!!!!!!)
Only in America ... ...do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering. (BLIND DRIVERS!!!)
My Funny Quotes
Your gonna make them go Ah Ah Ah/as you shoot across the sky-y-y!!!
No, it's more like I'm gonna make them go HAHAHA/as I shoot across the sky-y-y because I tripped and fell out of the plane.
You need to learn how to ponouncicate!!
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
19. My mother taught me ESP.
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
I hate Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief the movie. Here are my reasons:
Percy is supposed to kill Ms.Dodds
Where is Nancy Bobofit?
Where is Montauk?
Yancy is supposed to be a boarding school
Grover is a red-head
Where is the mist?
Where is Thalia's pine?
Annabeth is a BLONDE!
Chiron is white stallion
Where is "the one with the plumbing"
Hades isn't a bad guy
Where is Ares!
Where is Luke and his scorpion!
NORMAL PEOPLE: go to a psychiatrist to tell their feelings
NORMAL PEOPLE: rely on their local weatherman for the weather forecast
NORMAL PEOPLE: say OMG!
NORMAL PEOPLE: say shut up or i'll tell on you!
NORMAL PEOPLE: think that PJO fans are stupid
NORMAL PEOPLE: when being chased yell HELP ME SOMEBODY!
NORMAL PEOPLE: get nervous/scared during thunderstorms
NORMAL PEOPLE: would choose somewhere sunny to go for vacation
NORMAL PEOPLE: don't have this on their profile
COPY THIS ON YOUR PROFILE IF YOU ARE A DIE-HARD PJO FAN!
For TKC FANS:
Normal people: Go to New York to see the sights.
TKC FANS: Go because they need to find Brooklyn House.
Normal People: Think their cat is just a cat.
TKC FANS: Know their cat is really a goddess.
Normal people: Name their dog Fido.
TKCS FANS: Name him/her Annie... Especially if it's a boy.
Normal people: Say OMG!
TKC FANS: Say OMR! (Oh my Ra)
Normal people: Are scared of snakes.
TKC FANS: Cut snakes to pieces... JUST IN CASE!
Normal people: Think cheese is just a yummy dairy product.
TKC FANS: Know that Cheese is one of the five elements.
Normal people: Call animal control when they find a bat
TKC FANS: Turn into birds of prey and eat them.
Normal people: Are lame and don't have this on their profile.
TKC FANS: ARE EPIC AND PUT THIS ON THEIR PROFILE! :
YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE ADDICTED TO PERCY JACKSON AND THE OLYMPIANS WHEN...
I.) You have sudden crazy urges to jump into the sea and see if you can breathe underwater.
This is why Humans are doomed to die because of Stupidity:
On Sears hairdryer:
On a bag of Fritos:
On a bar of Dial soap:
On some Swann frozen dinners:
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
On Nytol sleep aid:
On a Korean kitchen knife:
On a string of Christmas lights:
On a food processor:
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
On a Swedish chainsaw:
On a child's Superman costume:
Things I am not to do at Hogwarts
1) The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball
2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office
3) I am not allowed to take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter
4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show you the pointy hat trick
5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar
6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination
7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after my lucky charms"
8) I am not allowed to start a betting pool on this years Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's taste-less, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy.
9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus' "time of the month"
10) I am not allowed to make light saber sounds with my wand
11) I am not allowed to give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals
12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force"
14) I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot
15) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it
16) I will not lock the Slytherin's and Gryffindor's in a room together and bet on which House will come out alive
17) I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Knights of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast
18) I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug A Slytherin Day"
19) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways
20) It is not necessary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor
21) I will not say the phrase, "Get a Life" to Voldemort
22) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy
23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling
26) It is not necessary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate
27) I will not steal Gryffindor sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways
28) I will not poke Hufflepuff's with spoons, nor shall I insist that their color's indicate that they're "covered in bee's"
29) "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge
32) If a class-mate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm
33) House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers
34) I will not start every potion's class by asking Snape if the potion is acceptable as Body Lotion
35) I will not call the Weasly twins, "bookends"
36) I will not call the Patil twins, "bookends"
37) I will not call the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak
45) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween
46) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself to seriously
47) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions
48) I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet
49) "To conquer the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice
50) I will not attack my fellow classmates
51) I will not make an impossible riddle for people to give an answer to enter the Ravenclaw area
Other Things I am not allowed to do at Hogwarts:
1) I will not, under any circumstances, ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss
2) Professor Flitwick's first name is not Yoda
3) I will not give Hagrid Pokémon cards and convince him they're real animals
4) I will not sing the Badger Song during Hufflepuff-Slytherin Quidditch matches
5) When Death Eaters are attacking Hogsmeade, I shall not point at the Dark Mark and shout "To the Batmoblie, Robin!"
6) Any resemblance between Dementors and Nazgul is simply coincidental
7) I will not refer to the Weasley Twins as "bookends"
8) I will not scare the Arithmancy students with my Calculus book.
9) I will not hold my wand in the air before I casting spells shouting "I got the power!"
10) I am not allowed to paint the house elves blue and call them smurfs.
11) I will not slip Malfoy a Love Potion in his morning goblet of Pumpkin Juice.
12) Should I chance to see a Death Eater wearing a white mask, I should not start singing anything from The Phantom of the Opera.
13) I will not call Dumbledore "Santa Claus!" during the Christmas Holidays.
14) I will not put Muggle fairy book in the History section at the library.
15) I will not send Snape a bottle of shampoo for Christmas.
16) I am not allowed to tell Hufflepuffs there is no Santa Clause.
17) I am not allowed to refer to myself as the New Dark Lord.
18) I am not allowed to sneak into Professor Snape's private chambers to watch him sing I Will Survive in the mirror, as it is disturbing.
19) I am not allowed to steal Professor Flitwicks wand, hold it over my head and laugh as he tries to reach it.
20)I will not replace Madam Pomfrey's Skele-Gro with pumpkin juice.
21) I will not replace Professor Snape's pumpkin juice with Skele-Gro.
22) I will not impersonate the Swedish Chef in Potions class.
23) The next time that I see Rita Skeeter, I am not to threaten her with a can of Raid.
24.) I will not subvert the lock on the fourth-floor girls' bathroom and sell its location to first-years as "The Chamber of Secrets".
25) When applying for a post at the Ministry of Magic after graduation, I should not cite "Fred and George Weasley" as my greatest influence at Hogwarts.
26) Putting down "Lord Voldemort" is probably not best either.
27) A Muggle "vacuum cleaner" is not acceptable Quidditch equipment, even if it has been enchanted to fly.
28) Hogsmeade village is not "a wretched hive of scum and villainy. “
29) I will not tell Professor Trelawney that I prophesied her death.
30) I will also not tell Professor Trelawney that I had a vision of her killing the Dark Lord.
40.) Sending rings to the nine senior faculty at Yuletide, with the return address "Voldemort", is not funny.
41) Insisting that the school acquire computers and network the buildings is a pointless request as they claim that a quill and parchment is sufficient.
42) Calling the Ghostbusters is a cruel joke to play on the resident ghosts and poltergeists.
43) I may not have a private army.
44) I must not substitute chocolate-flavoured laxative for Professor Lupin's prescription-strength chocolate.
45) Nor am I to in any way substitute, alter, hide, or otherwise tamper with Professor Dumbledore's candy.
46) I am not the wicked witch of the west.
47) -I will not refer to Professor Umbridge as such either.
48) I will not melt if water is poured over me.
49) -Neither will Professor Umbridge.
50) I shouldn't use Photoshop to create incriminating photos of my house prefects or tutors.
51) I will not enchant the Golden Snitch to fly up the nearest fan's nose.
52) I do not know the Avada Kedavra curse, and pretending I do to people who annoy me is not funny, no matter how much they injure themselves diving for cover.
53) I will not test my Potions assignments by spiking Snape's drink with them.
54) - Especially not all of them at once.
55) I will not try to hock off my old piercings as "priceless Muggle artifacts."
56) I will not claim my X-Files tapes are "Auror Training Videos."
57) Professor Snape definitely does not have pointed ears, and under no circumstances is he to be addressed as 'Spock'.
58) I am not able to see the Grim Reaper, nor am I to claim that he is standing by the Headmaster, tapping an hourglass and looking at him impatiently. Or, for that matter, Harry Potter.
59) When being interrogated by a member of staff, I am not to wave my hand and announce 'These are not the droids you are looking for'.
60) Thestrals do not resemble the Muggle toys known as 'My Little Pony'.
61) The four Houses are not the Morons, the Borons, the Smarts and the Junior Death Eaters.
62) Despite my personal beliefs, Quidditch would not be improved by the introduction of Muggle firearms.
63) Though they are doubtless more athletic, battle-axes are not acceptable either.
64) I will not claim there is a prequel to Hogwarts, A History that explains about Bilbo Baggins.
65) I will not use the Marauder's Map for stalking purposes.
66) I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paintballing.
67) I am not allowed to ask Professor Dumbledore if the size of his beard is 'compensating for something'.
68) I will not create a betting pool that Voldemort is Harry Potter's father.
69) Headmaster Dumbledore is of no relation to Willy Wonka.
70) Professor Snape's proper given name is not Princess Silvermoon Fairywing Glimmer McSparkles.
71) Harry Potter and Ron Weasley are not the magical equivalent of "Batman and Robin".
72) I will not play the Imperial March theme for Professor Snape.
73) However, when Lucius Malfoy visits, I may play it.
74) If I insist on carrying out my plans of producing "Riddle-de-dee: The Voldemort Musical", I will do so under a nom-de-plume.
75) I will not attempt to recruit the title character to play himself. Even if he looks good in tap shoes.
76) I should not refer to Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle collectively as "Team Rocket" either.
77) I am not allowed to discuss my theory that Voldemort is actually the second cousin of Sauron.
78) I am not a 'ninja sent here by Lord Voldemort to destroy Harry Potter' and should stop shouting this at meal times.
79) It’s not tasteful to approach Cho wearing a shirt that says "All The Good Looking Ones Die Young" with a picture of Cedric Diggory on it.
80) I will not yell "Hey look! It’s Lord Voldemort!" at Hogsmeade
81) I will not tease Voldemort about the time he needed his pink flowery teddy bear to comfort him when he had that bad, bad nightmare about Harry
82) I will not charm a poster of Britney Spears on Draco's wall
83) I am not allowed to begin each Herbology class by singing the theme song to “Attack of the Killer Tomatoes.”
84) I will not call Professor McGonagall “McGoogles”.
85) I will not sing the entire Multiplication Rocks series during Arithmancy exams.
86) There is no such thing as the chamber of Double Secret Probation.
87) My name is not “the Dark Lord Happy-Pants” I am not allowed to sign my papers as such.
88) Bringing fortune cookies to divination class does not count for extra credit.
89) I will not douse Harry Potter’s invisibility cloak with lemon juice to see if he will become visible while wearing it and standing by the fire in the common room.
90) I will not tell first years they should build a tree house in the Whomping Willow.
91) I will not teach the house elves to impersonate Jar Jar Binks.
92) I will not give Gryffindors pixie sticks.
93) I am not allowed to refer to Susan Bones, Hannah Abbot, and Justin Finch-Fletchley as Blossom, Buttercup, and Bubbles.
94) A time turner is not a flux capacitator I should therefore not try to install it in a Muggle car.
95) I shall not refer to DADA professors as canaries in a coal mine.
96) When fighting Death Eaters in the annual June good vs. evil fight I will not lift my wand skyward and shout “There can only be ONE”.
97) A wand is for magic only, it is not for picking noses, playing snooker, or playing drums no matter how bored I become.
98) It is generally accepted that cats and dragons cannot interbreed and I should not attempt to disprove this theory no matter how wicked the results would be.
99) 42 is not the answer to every question on the O.W.L.S.
100) I am allowed to have a cat, rat, toad, or an owl. I am not allowed to have reticulated python, snow leopard, Tasmanian devil, or piranha.
101) No matter how good an Australian accent I can do I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class.
102) I will not refer to the Defense against the Dark arts professor as Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak.
103) Dumbledore is not Gandalf, and the Triforce is not hidden in Hogwarts.
104) Do not confuse Aragorn, Eragon and Aragog. Ever.
105) I may not introduce Nagini to Indiana Jones.
106) Challenging Ron to a slug-eating contest is just mean.
107) Under no circumstances am I allowed to refer to Voldemort as "Baldy".
108) Even if he is.
109) I am not allowed to tell the first years to have a staring contest with the Basilisk.
110) I am prohibited from sprinkling glitter on Draco Malfoy, dying his hair, and call him Edward.
111) I am not allowed sell Mrs. O'Leary to Hagrid.
112) I will not give Professor Lupin a collar as a Christmas or birthday present.
113) Saying "I think I 'taw a puddytat!" every time I see Professor McGonagall is most certainly NOT allowed.
114) Offering Voldemort a colonial-era powdered wig (complete with ponytail) will not amuse him and I am not allowed to do so, even if he needs a new hair do.
115) I am not allowed to paint the school neon pink as the only person it will amuse is Professor Umbridge.
116) I must not introduce Voldemort to a psychiatrist as it is likely to result in him having a temper tantrum.
117) I am not allowed to introduce the Cullens to Professor Lupin.
118) I am not allowed to tease Professor Lupin about his 'time of the month'.
119) I shall not play match-maker for Voldemort on Valentine's Day because it will only make him cry when no one will go out with him because of his lack of hair.
120) I am not allowed to be a match-maker for Shelob and Aragog either.
121) I will not arrange a battle to the death between nine Hungarian Horntails and the Nazgul.
122) I will not scream, "HIS NAME IS EDWARD!" any time I hear the words Cedric Diggory.
123) I will not ask the centaurs if they know where Chiron is because I have found a demigod.
124) I will not shout at dinner times that Darth Sideous is Voldemort's uncle, even if they do look alike.
125) I shall not try to persuade everyone that Percy Weasley's true name is Percy Jackson and he slays monsters with a pen for a living.
126) I will not sing 'I'm a Survivour' after the Battle of Hogwarts.
127) No matter how fun it looks, I will not stand on a table and do the Macarena at the Yule Ball.
128) Professor Lupin is not the magical equivlant of Wolverine and I am not allowed to address him as such.
129) Even if I'm bored, I am not allowed to ask Snape what is the mysterious ticking noise.
130) I will not dye Harry's hair pink or give him brown contacts, just because I am sick of black-haired, green-eyed heroes.
131) Whether they owe me money or not, I am not allowed to sneak into Fred and George's dorm at the dead of night to die their hair blond, spike it unreasonably high, then call them John and Edward in the morning.
132) I will not send Voldemort white robes for Christmas and claim he changed his name to, "Voldy the White."
133) And when he wears them, I am not allowed to run around Hogsmeade screaming, "AHHH! It's an albino dementor!"
134) It is not tasteful to send Professor McGonagall a scratching post for Christmas.
135) Bringing a magic eight ball to Divination class will only get Professor Trelawney annoyed at your, "Lack of Inner Eye."
136) To which I am not allowed to reply.
137) I will not refer to the Accio charm as 'The Force'.
138) Nor am I allowed to have lightsaber fights with my wand and make whoosing noises.
139) "Because they both need to wash their hair," is not proof Professor Snape and Aragorn are related.
140) There is also no proof that Gimli and Flitwick are related and I am stop asking Flitwick if he's been swimming with any hairy women lately.
141) Singing 'Hungry Like The Wolf' in Professor Lupin's class is not a way to get extra credit.
142) I am not allowed to write on the wall in the Gryffindor Common Room, "I know where you live" or "I stole all your underwear!"
143) I am not allowed to replace the Bludgers with peas, tomatoes, plums or anything that is not a Bludger.
144) Portable swamps are not funny.
145) And I will not set off the above in Snape's sleeping quarters.
146) Or in the Slytherin's bathrooms.
147) In fact, I am not allowed to even buy portable swamps.
148) Harry Potter is not a Son of Poseidon and saying this everytime I see him will only result in him filing a restraining order against me.
149) My patronus is not a Nazgul.
150) Neither is my animagus form.
151) "To conquer the earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not an appropriate career choice.
152) It still is not appropiate, even if I have subsituted the flying monkeys with gummy bears.
153) I will not levitate everywhere in a big pink bubble.
154) My professors have neither the time, nor the inclination to hear about what I did with six boxes of Sugar Quills.
155) No part of the school uniform is edible.
156) Nor am I allowed to make any part of the school uniform edible.
157) I will not try to take house points from the first years for "being too goddamned short".
158) Especially as I am in no position of authority and Dumbledore would have to be heavily drugged before he would ever make me a prefect.
159) I am not allowed to wear singing holiday-themed ties and claim that they are officially part of my uniform. Especially not during June.
160) Luna Lovegood does not have pointed ears, nor is she to be addressed as 'Galadriel'.
161) Lucius Malfoy also does not have pointed ears, nor is he to be addressed as 'Haldir'.
162) I am not the reincarnation of Merlin.
163)I am not allowed to Accio the clothing of any person while they are wearing it.
164) I am to attend astronomy class and should stop yelling that aliens will abduct me if I do.
165) Hogwarts does not require a karaoke machine.
166) No matter how much I would enjoy watching Harry sing, "Saturday Night."
167) "Defying my will" is not a crime worthy of life in Azkaban, and I should not tell that to the first-years.
168) I will not speak to Professor Snape with a Transylvanian accent.
169) Nor am I to ask if he is Carlisle Cullen's evil, unfortunate-looking twin.
170) I will not start a rumor saying that Professor Snape sings "I'm too sexy for my robes" while showering. Or for that matter doing any other activity.
171) Enchanting the Sorting Hat to sort new students into the House of Martok, or any other Klingon house is forbidden.
172) Voldemort does not wish to appear as the 'before' for a line of cosmetics. And no, he does not care how much money I make from it.
173) The Slytherin prefect is named Draco Malfoy, not "Rocky Horror".
174) Transfiguring Draco Malfoy's uniform into a gold thong is also inappropriate.
175) I will not attempt to determine whether Malfoy is a natural blond.
176) I will not sprend rumors that Legolas Greenleaf is his second cousin either.
177) Luna Lovegood is NOT always on "physicidelic mushrooms" and I should stop implying that she is.
178) The same goes for Professor Trelawney.
179) I will not get a tattoo of a smiley face on my arm and claim that it is the new Dark Mark.
180) When signing to all of these rules, I am not allowed to write in red ink and say that the Cullens lent me some grizzly bear blood.
181) I will not set my robes on fire to get out of potions.
182) I should not be a sports' commentator for Ron and Hermione's arguments.
183) Hogwarts does not need a "This many days since Harry has almost died," sign.
The first thing you ask someone when you meet them is, “Have you read PJO?”
On your trip to Washington D.C. you thought of Annabeth every time you saw a monument. You yell “Mizzenmast!” whenever you enter a boat.
You have one (or more) pictures relating to PJO in your room.
You know PJO better then most sane people.
You have links to every great PJO site.
You add things to the list every day.
You know what you would do if you were Percy.
You argue with your friends about if Nico should turn evil or not.
At least half of your friends have read all the PJO, or are going to in the very near future.
You wish you could find a rainbow to see if Iris messages work.
For April Fools, you put a piece of paper over a card/cards and told your friends that they were Mythomagic cards, and they understood.
Your friends all have a godly parent, and so do you, and your family, and your extended family, and your far, far, far away cuzs'.
You are trying to learn Greek.
You keep thinking about one of the PJO books when you go on a trip.
Every language you know is some form of Ancient Greek.
You shriek every time you see a guy with black hair and green eyes.
You have an instant crush on Nico!
You just have to research more about Greek mythology (I am now a genius about that field.)
You call up the Camp Half Blood number.
You want to learn Latin.
About 75-100 of your fics are PJO related, even if it is a cross-over.
You have taken every test you can find about what demigodly parent you have.
You make sure all of your friends (or most of them), have an idea about what you say when talking about PJO.
Your friends (at least one), think you are obsessed with PJO, and you agree.
A friend (or more), think you should start taking pills and/or going to a mental doctor, because you are so obsessed.
You have something on your school things (or home things), that says 'Daughter (or son if you're a guy) of god/goddess’, and you don't even try to hide it, even if it says ‘Daughter an unliked god/goddess’.
You’re nodding and smiling when you read this
You own every single book.
You are planning on adding a lot more things to this list.
You call yourself a demigod.
You wish with every fiber of your being that the first page of The Lightning Thief told the truth, and the PJO series is real.
You find yourself praying to a random god when you didn't study for a math test because you were too busy reading PJO.
You've called someone you know a satyr.
You name your pet fish Clovis
You noticed that in TLO, Rick Riordan wrote Connor in Chapter 3 (I Take a Sneak Peak to my Death) and Conner in Chapter 10 (I Buy Some New Friends). Y
ou noticed that in TLT, Rick Riordan said the girl in Percy’s dream, (Thalia) had ‘stormy green eyes,’ when in fact she has electric blue eyes.
When you're History teacher asks you what's your favorite food and you answer 'Double Stuf Oreos' because Ares gave them those with a backpack in TLT.
You accidentally call one of your friends a PJO name.
You change the lyrics in LOVE STORY by Taylor Swift from, "Marry me, Juliet" to "Marry me, Annabeth".
You try to talk to horses. You try to summon the dead. You try to summon lightning.
You try to breathe underwater. (which did not end well...)
You look for an entrance to the Labyrinth in your basement.
You check to see if horses have wings before you ride them.
You have done at least 15 (or more) of the above things.
YOU HAVE THIS ON YOUR PROFILE PAGE!!!
Camp Half-Blood pledge
I promise to remember Percy
I promise to remember Annabeth
I promise to protect nature
I promise to remember Luke
I promise to remember Chiron
I promise to remember Tyson
I promise to remember Thalia
I promise to remember Clarisse
I promise to remember Bianca
I promise to remember Nico
I promise to remember Zoe
I promise to remember Rachel
I promise to remember The Stolls
I promise to remember Beckendorf
I promise to remember Silena
I promise to remember Micheal Yew
I promise to remember Briares
I promise to remember those lost in the Battle of the Labyrinth
I promise to remember those campers who fought against Kronos
Yes, I promise to remember PJO
Harry Potter Pledge
I promise to remember Harry
When someone grows up with no love
I promise to remember Ron
When someone is jealous
I promise to remember Hermione
When I meet someone with wisdom beyond their years
I promise to remember James and Lily
when someone dies before their time
I promise to remember Dumbledore
At the thought of the greater good
I promise to "Solemely Swear That I Am Up To No Good"
for Gred, Forge, and Padfoot of course
I promise to remember Moony
And fight for human rights
I promise to remember Snape
When My heart fills with remorse
I promise to remember Narcissa
When I'd do anything for family
I promise to remember Dora Tonks
When someone is hyper
I promise to remember Hedwig,
who lived and died soaring
I promise to remember Percy
When ambition gets the best of me
I promise to be careful
For Moody's sake, of course
I promise to remember Hagrid
When one is wrongly blamed
I promise to remember Neville
when I stand up for what is right
I promise to remember the Marauders
When a friend says "Call me and I'll be there."
You Know You’re a Book Addict If:
You can randomly open to a page and know exactly what's going on. (Yes-siree!)
Read the book until 4 A.M., then get back up at 7 to continue reading. (Nope! I read it all night!Then all day!)
You write fanfictions about the book. (... NOOOOO. *Sarcastic* I made this account just so I could copy and paste things to my profile)
You try to get all of your friends (and everyone else) to read your favorite books. (I have succeeded in getting my tooter to read the Percy Jackson series)
You accidentally call everyone by the character's names. (I'm secretly convinced that my friend is a son of Poseidon)
Everything reminds you of the book. (Blueberry pancakes! Thank you Mrs.Jackson!)
You quote random lines all the time. ( Yeah... we'll get back to that)
You try to do things that the characters do, even though you know you can't. (picking up a stick, and challenging my friend to sword fight me)
You've gotten incredibly bored in class, and debated on doing something your favorite character can do to escape the class.(Teacher:Die,honey! Me:Ahhh! *pulls out pen-sword and stabs teacher* School announcement(aka:Me)School is out because all the teacher quit!)
You have pictures of your favorite characters on your tablet.
You've got a book memorized. (Okay! I admit it: I'm working on it)
You've read a book more than five times. (I've read the entire Harry Potter 7 times)
You've read a book with 400 pages in less than two days. (I read two in one day)
You've planned and prepared a siege on a writer's house because he/she killed a character you like. (Yeah. One time one of my sisters said John Flanagan killed Will, and I was ready to go over there and give him a piece of my mind when she said she lied. So I gave her that piece of my mind.)
You've plotted to murder a character and steal her boyfriend.
You hate it when someone calls your favorite character fictional. (Below)
You blatantly deny it when someone calls a character fictional. (DIE STUPID PERSON!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah, I do.)
Your idol is a character from a book (Yep! Percy,Will,Harry,so on and so forth)
Percy Jackson Quotes:
“Seven half-bloods shall answer the call
"In a way, it's nice to know that there are Greek gods out there, because you have somebody to blame when things go wrong. For instance, when you're walking away from a bus that's just been attacked by monster hags and blown up by lightning, and it's raining on top of everything else, most people might think that's just really bad luck; when you're a half-blood, you understand that some devine force is really trying to mess up your day."- Percy Jackson
"Let us find the dam snack bar," Zoe said. "We should eat while we can." Grover cracked a smile. "The dam snack bar?" Zoe blinked. "Yes. What is funny?" "Nothing," Grover said, trying to keep a straight face. "I could use some dam french fries." Even Thalia smiled at that. "And I need to use the dam restroom."...I started cracking up, and Thalia and Grover joined in, while Zoe just looked at me. "I do not understand." "I want to use the dam water fountain," Grover said. "And..." Thalia tried to catch her breath. "I want to buy a dam t-shirt."- The Titan's Curse
“Is Tyson okay?" I asked.
"If my life is going to mean anything, I have to live it myself."- The Lightning Thief
"She glanced at the minotaur horn in my hands, then back at me. I imagined she was going to say, You killed a minotaur! or Wow, you're so awesome! or something like that.
"I am never, ever, going to make things easy for you, Seaweed Brain. Get used to it."- The Lightning Thief
“You idiot” Annabeth said, which was how I knew she was overjoyed to see me conscious.- The Lightning Thief
“I nodded, looking at Rachel with respect. "You hit the Lord of the Titans in the eye with a blue plastic hairbrush.”- The Last Olympian
“God alert!" Blackjack yelled. "It's the wine dude!
“Even strength must bow to wisdom sometimes.”- The Lightning Thief
“I have lightning and wind powers," Jason reminded him. "Piper can turn beautiful and charm people into giving her BMWs. You're no more a freak than we are. And, hey, maybe you can fly, too. Like jump off a building and yell 'Flame on!'"
“I'm the son of Jupiter, I'm a child of Rome, consul to demigods, praetor of the First Legion. I slew the Trojan sea monster, I toppled the black throne of Kronos, and destroyed Titan Krios with my own hand. And now I'm going to destroy you Porphyrion, and feed you to your own wolves."
“The Council agrees," Zeus said. "Percy Jackson, you will have one gift from the gods."
“Hazel squinted. "How far?"
“There is always a way out for those clever enough to find it.”- The Titan's Curse
“Kronos couldn't have risen if it hadn't been for a lot of demigods who felt abandoned by their parents," I said. "They felt angry, resentful, and unloved, and they had a good reason."
“But I've never even been to Olympus! Zeus is crazy!"
“As he fell toward the highway, a horrible scenario flashed through his mind: his body smashing against an SUV's windshield, some annoyed commuter trying to push him off with the wipers. "Stupid 16-year-old kid falling from the sky! I'm late!”- The Son of Neptune
“The god of wine looked around at the assembled crowd. “Miss me?”
“Leo lowered his screwdriver. He looked at the ceiling and shook his head like, What am I gonna do with this guy?
“Curse us eh/I'll make you pay!/I don't want to rhyme all day!”- The Last Olympian
“Frank stared at him. "Unfair? You can breathe underwater and blow up glaciers and summon freaking hurricanes-and it's unfair that I can be an elephant?"
“Tyson, Frank is a descendant of Poseidon."
“Percy scowled. "I-I know you."
“Two hundred Romans, and no one’s got a pen? Never mind!"
“They sped by a pack of sea lions lounging on the docks, and she swore she saw an old homeless guy sitting among them. From across the water the old man pointed a bony finger at Percy and mouthed something like 'Don't even think about it.'
“The way to beat Luke," he said. "If I'm right, it's the only way you'll stand a chance."
“I looked down at my clothes. They were slashed to pieces and full of bullet holes, but I was fine. Not a mark on me.
“Nico strode forward. The enemy army fell back before him like he radiated death, which of course he did.
"You know what happens to snow in Texas lady? It. Freaking. Melts!" -Leo Valdez
-"Can we just call them storm spirits? Because Venti makes them sound like evil espresso drinks!" Leo Valdez (The Lost Hero)
-"Yours in demigodishness, and all that. Peace out." Leo Valdez (The Son of Neptune)
-"Stupid rock gods! That's the third time I've had to replace that mast! You think they grow on trees?"
"Masts are from trees." Nico di Angelo (The House of Hades)
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