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Joined 04-10-13, id: 4657306, Profile Updated: 08-04-16
Author has written 3 stories for Total Drama series.

How providential when you find
The face an index to the mind,
And evil men compelled to call
Themselves by names like Gideon Crawle!

--W.S. Gilbert, Ruddigore

I am the "evil man" who calls himself Gideoncrawle, although I will answer to any reasonable permutation thereof. My avatar is "The Magnet And The Churn", one of the "Bab" drawings that Gilbert made in connection with the Gilbert & Sullivan operetta, Patience. The corresponding song is a parable about the torment of a man who is irresistible to women and so can have any woman he wants--except for the one that he does want.

At 56 years of age, I am probably the world's oldest writer of Total Drama fan fiction. (My DW, 48, may be the second oldest.) After 3 years on the Total Drama Island Fanfiction Wiki, during which I became one of that site's best-known writers, I began porting my stories here to see how they play in the big city, as it were.

Sadly, one story (if it can even truly be called that) that I won't be porting--at least not in its entirety--is the one that got me into writing fanfiction in the first place. Total Drama Island, by Gilbert and Sullivan (commonly abbreviated TDI-G&S, pronounced "Tiddigus"), which retells the canon TDI story arc using some 8,000 lines of the G&S songs and recitatives, is surely one of the most unusual works in the entire Total Drama fandom, but its formatting requirements are incompatible with this site's technical limitations. If you're interested, you can find it on the wiki via the link above. It's also available as a downloadable PDF file, and it also has a TV Tropes page with over 20 tropes identified in addition to those inherited from the source material.

I'm considering porting excerpts here, but their formatting would have to be very different from the full version, and I wouldn't be able to include the music links because this site doesn't support external links in articles.


Stories that I have finished porting include:

  • Legacy: a 5-chapter AU story where Gwen's encounter with The Escaped Psycho Killer With A Chainsaw And A Hook doesn't go the same way as it did on the show. This was the wiki's Featured Story for June 2010, and it has a TV Tropes page with nearly 70 tropes identified. The wiki version of this story is the recommended one because it includes certain multimedia enhancements that this site's story pages do not support. (Port completed 11 May 2013)
  • Courtney and the Violin of Despair: I call it "a kinder, gentler, 'Courtney bashing' story". I had noticed that "Courtney bashing" stories tend to wallow in viciousness at the expense of proper storytelling, and I wrote CatVoD (as it's commonly abbreviated) to demonstrate that you can give your favorite punching bag a lot of grief without being mean or sacrificing little things like story development. This was the wiki's Featured Story for March 2011 has a TV Tropes page with over 30 tropes identified. The wiki version of this story is the recommended one because it includes certain multimedia enhancements that this site's story pages do not support. (Port completed 29 June 2013)
  • Ports in progress include:

  • The Legend of Total Drama Island (commonly abbreviated LTDI): a TDI reimagining, told by a former camper to her teenage son in the style of The Book of the Thousand and One Nights. Essentially TDI played for drama instead of laughs, it's dark, gritty and (mostly) realistic, although it does preserve some of the original's cartoonish elements. This story is in progress, currently about 40% complete, and has a TV Tropes page with hundreds of tropes identified. Estimated finished length is 400K words or more. The wiki version of this story is the recommended one because it includes numerous multimedia enhancements that this site's story pages do not support, but you need a Wikia account to leave reviews on that site. (Port began 13 July 2013)
  • Other stories I expect to port one of these days:

  • Rise of the Dragon Queen: a Heather-centric prequel one-shot, originally written for a multi-author anthology. My first attempt at a dialogue-heavy story.
  • Desperate Measures: an Izzy-centric prequel one-shot, originally written for the same anthology. Might appear separately from "Dragon Queen" or alongside it under an umbrella title. Contains a potential spoiler for LTDI.


    For those of you who are fans of the TV Tropes website (, most of my stories have tropes pages:

  • Courtney and the Violin of Despair - 41 tropes identified
  • Legacy - 70 tropes identified
  • The Legend of Total Drama Island - nearly 930 tropes identified that are not merely inherited from the show, including nearly 600 for the currently published portion of the story
  • Total Drama Island, by Gilbert and Sullivan - 22 tropes identified that are not merely inherited from the source material


    Because this site's story pages don't support external links, links to music videos (where available) for music compositions mentioned in my stories are provided here. The Legend of Total Drama Island also has character theme songs, which will be added as they are selected and suitable videos located. Note that in some cases, certain events must come to pass in the story before it will be clear why the character theme fits.

    MUSIC LINKS - Legacy

  • The basis for Trent's tribute song (song begins at 2:45) - "A Wonderful Joy Our Eyes to Bless" from Utopia, Limited, by W.S. Gilbert and Arthur Sullivan. In Total Drama Island, by Gilbert and Sullivan, this is Bridgette's theme song.

  • MUSIC LINKS - Courtney and the Violin of Despair

  • Finale from Symphony #4, by Peter Tchaikovsky
  • "Meditation" from Thais, by Jules Massenet

  • VIDEO/IMAGE LINKS - The Legend of Total Drama Island (story videos/images)

  • Izzy "defeats" Chef's cooking - Triumphal March (Throne Room scene) from Star Wars, Episode IV: A New Hope, by John Williams (instrumental)
  • First wakeup call - "Dies Irae" from Requiem, by Giuseppe Verdi. Appears a few times in later episodes to imply that the day's challenge will be life-threatening.
  • Alejandro counsels Beth - "Good Advice", by Allan Sherman
  • Funeral montage - "Siegfried's Funeral Music" from Gotterdammerung, by Richard Wagner (instrumental)
  • "St. Crispin's Day" speech from Henry V, by William Shakespeare - the basis for Noah's rousing speech
  • Courtney's talent show "audition" - "Dance of the Comedians" from The Bartered Bride, by Bedrich Smetana (instrumental)
  • Katie and Sadie's talent show act - Slavonic Dance in G, Op. 46 No. 8, by Antonin Dvorak (instrumental)
  • Background music for Beth and Izzy's talent show act - "Sabre Dance" from Gayane, by Aram Khachaturian (instrumental)
  • Courtney's talent show act - "Flight of the Bumblebee" from The Tale of Tsar Saltan, by Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov (instrumental)
  • Ezekiel's elimination ceremony song - "Pie Jesu" from Requiem, by Andrew Lloyd Webber
  • Heather's makeover look - an iconic publicity photo of Audrey Hepburn (1929-93)
  • "The Clean Song" - a bawdy song that the Muskies sing around the campfire
  • "Barnacle Bill the Sailor" - another bawdy song that the Muskies sing. The video provides the tune. See the Wikipedia article on this song for the R-rated lyrics that the Muskies actually sing.
  • "My Name is John Wellington Wells", from The Sorcerer by Gilbert & Sullivan - the song licensed by Dawn's ancestors as a company song for their Family Sorcery business. Performed by Martyn Green, who is widely regarded as the greatest Gilbert & Sullivan actor of the 20th Century.
  • The Incantation Scene from The Sorcerer - Dawn essentially acts out Mr. Wells' part of the scene when she enchants the necklace. From a made-for-TV production.
  • "The Daring Young Man on the Flying Trapeze", as Chris calls the blindfolded trapeze catch challenge.The first verse and chorus of this popular 19th Century ballad remain well known to this day; the other verses, not so much. Interested parties can read the unabridged lyrics here.
  • Dawn and Ella search for a contestant missing and feared dead - "The Field of the Dead" from the cantata, Alexander Nevsky, originally the film score for a 1938 Russian biopic of that name. An English translation of the lyrics is quoted in the narrative.
  • Chef Hatchet appears in military garb to start the Boot Camp challenge - "When I First Put This Uniform On" from Patience, by Gilbert & Sullivan
  • Reasons to love Chef, Gwen's essay for the boot camp challenge - "If You Want a Receipt", also from Patience. This song is also Chef's theme.
  • "The Caisson Song", also known by other names, sung by Ella as she marches the contestants back to the obstacle course during the boot camp challenge
  • "Im Taberna" from Carmina Burana, by Carl Orff - representative of the drinking songs Ella sings at the boot camp party, possibly sung in-universe with English lyrics. The video has the original Latin lyrics with non-metrical English translation.
  • "Heart of Oak" - official song of certain Commonwealth navies, including Canada's, sung by Ella at the boot camp party as a drinking song
  • "Bella Notte" ("Beautiful Night"), better known as the Spaghetti Scene song from Lady and the Tramp - sung by Ella to open and close the dance portion of the boot camp party
  • "Swan song" from Carmina Burana, accompanying presentation of the main course in the Brunch of Disgustingness. The lament of a swan upon being cooked and eaten, the translation in the narrative is singable to Orff's excruciating tune.

  • VIDEO LINKS - The Legend of Total Drama Island (character theme songs)


  • Chris: "I'll Make a Man Out of You" from Mulan
  • Chef Hatchet: "If You Want a Receipt" from Patience, by W.S. Gilbert and Arthur Sullivan. This is also Chef's theme in Total Drama Island, by Gilbert and Sullivan.
  • The Interns: "Chorus of the Hebrew Slaves" from Nabucco, by Guiseppe Verdi
  • Alejandro: "March of the Toreadors" from Carmen, by Georges Bizet
  • Dawn: "If I Could Talk to the Animals" from Doctor Dolittle
  • Ella: "Sing" from Sesame Street
  • Contestants:

  • Beth: "Fanfare for the Common Man" by Aaron Copland (instrumental)
  • Bridgette: "Simple Gifts" by Joseph Brackett Jr.
  • Cody: "The Impossible Dream" from Man of La Mancha
  • Courtney: "The Olive Tree" from Kismet
  • Duncan: "The Seven Deadly Virtues" from Camelot, by Alan Jay Lerner and Frederick Loewe
  • Eva: "Ride of the Valkyries" from Die Walkure (Part II of the opera tetralogy, The Ring of the Nibelungen) by Richard Wagner (instrumental)
  • Ezekiel: "Drop Kick Me, Jesus, Through the Goalposts of Life" by Bobby Bare
  • Geoff: "Ghost Riders in the Sky" by Stan Jones
  • Gwen: "The Music of the Night" from The Phantom of the Opera, by Charles Hart, Richard Stilgoe, and Andrew Lloyd Webber
  • Harold: "Valhalla" leitmotif from The Ring of the Nibelungs opera tetralogy (sometimes described as "the world's first miniseries") by Richard Wagner (instrumental)
  • Heather: "Be Prepared" from The Lion King
  • Izzy: "Magic Fire Music" from Die Walkure
  • Justin: "C'est Moi" from Camelot
  • Katie & Sadie: "Friendship" from DuBarry Was a Lady (later added to Anything Goes) by Cole Porter
  • Katie (alone): "The Mary Ellen Carter" by Stan Rogers
  • Lindsay: "'Cause I'm a Blonde" by Julie Brown
  • Noah: "If You're Anxious for to Shine" from Patience, by W.S. Glbert and Arthur Sullivan. The choice for Noah's theme reflects both his personality in this story and the manipulative editing that gave him a significantly different presentation in the finished episodes.
  • Owen: "Baby Elephant Walk" by Henry Mancini (instrumental)
  • Trent: "A Wandering Minstrel, I" from The Mikado, by W.S. Gilbert and Arthur Sullivan. This is also Trent's theme song in Total Drama Island, by Gilbert and Sullivan.
  • Tyler: "Go the Distance" from (Disney's) Hercules, suggested by Rhonda the stalker fan! on the Total Drama Fanfiction wiki.
  • Other:

  • Brett & his mother: Scheherazade, by Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov (the opening chords, representing the Sultan commanding Scheherazade to speak, comprise Brett's theme. Scheherazade's theme, a violin solo that first appears at about 0:50 of a typical performance, is the Storyteller's theme.)
  • Sunshine: "Pick a Little, Talk a Little" from The Music Man, by Meredith Williams



    1. Gwen (Season 1) - before the writers nerfed her
    2. Leshawna
    3. Chef Hatchet
    4. Izzy
    5. Jo - Eva used to be in this spot, but Jo is essentially Eva 2.0

    Honorable Mention/ favorite minor character: Eva
    Honorable Mention/ favorite Pahkitew Islander: Scarlett
    Honorable Mention/ favorite Ridonculous Racers: Jacques/Josee, the Ice Dancers. Horrible people, but consistently entertaining to watch.

    (So I like the girls. So sue me.)

    Least liked:

    1. Duncan (Season 2) - nothing but a bully. Didn't care much for him in his other seasons, either.

    2. Amy (Season 6) - for pretty much the same reason why I don't like Duncan. Her one saving grace is that we were clearly supposed to hate her, so she did her dramatic job.

    3. Scott (Season 4) - the show's least plausible antagonist to date. I liked him in All Stars as the Brick-like "pain magnet".

    4. Courtney (Season 2) - I regard Season 2 Courtney as an impostor. Season 2 Duncan/Courtney was a match made in Hell.

    5. Owen (Seasons 1/2) - Season 3 Owen was OK, mainly because the writers toned down his excesses. He was OK in The Ridonculous Race for the same reason, plus he worked well with Noah and Kitty.

    Dishonorable mention: Mike - I don't like the multiple personalities, and that's his whole shtick. I don't find it offensive or insensitive as some people do, I just don't like the "new powers as the plot demands" quality his alters gave him. I would have liked him much better as just Mike or just Vito. Was in my Bottom 5 until Amy pushed him off.

    Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

    Total Drama Genesis by RhondaTheStalkerFan reviews
    The current right holders to Total Drama decide to make an American 'reboot' of the franchise. Now three failed actors try hosting as twenty two newcomers compete in America's capital of Washington, D.C. for two million dollars.
    Total Drama series - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 2 - Words: 12,838 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 10/15 - Published: 10/8
    Notes on Aura Reading by StayOuttaMyShed reviews
    After an encounter in the forest, Cameron is curious about the legitimacy of Dawn's ability to read auras, and suggest she help a fellow camper with her gift to see if it's real or not. The events that unfold, however, come as a surprise to all involved. Fic exchange entry for Lowland Warrior.
    Total Drama series - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,871 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 4 - Published: 4/28 - [Cameron, Dawn] [Jo, Brick] - Complete
    Ella's Myth by TheToxicInterest reviews
    Because the world doesn't work like a fairy tale, Ella. You learned that lesson a little too late. (Dark fic. One-Shot.)
    Total Drama series - Rated: T - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,307 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 4 - Published: 9/26/2014 - Scott, Ella
    Not a Typical Day in the Life of a CIT by GreenPokeGuy reviews
    At the Playa, Courtney is woken up way before she's ready, so the rest of her day is pretty... annoying. And we all know what happens when Courtney gets annoyed... Rated T for language.
    Total Drama series - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,450 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 5 - Published: 4/20/2014 - Courtney - Complete
    Candy For Your Thoughts? by Strix Moonwing reviews
    After discovering Duncan and Gwen kissing, Courtney vents out her anger and grief alone in the cargo hold. However, when one particular teammate comes visiting her, she realizes that she's not the only one who's been hurt by the kiss...
    Total Drama series - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 154,702 - Reviews: 340 - Favs: 298 - Follows: 111 - Updated: 11/29/2011 - Published: 8/8/2010 - Courtney, Cody
    Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

    The Legend of Total Drama Island reviews
    What if TDI had been played for drama instead of laughs? In this Season 1 reimagining, a former contestant tells the story to her teenage son in the style of The 1,001 Nights. AU. Rated T for mature subject matter, mild profanity, etc. Normally updates bimonthly around month-end. 24th Night: The halftime show, a.k.a. the Brunch of Disgustingness.
    Total Drama series - Rated: T - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 25 - Words: 277,240 - Reviews: 202 - Favs: 116 - Follows: 116 - Updated: 8/4 - Published: 7/13/2013 - Cody, Heather, Courtney, Katie
    Courtney and the Violin of Despair reviews
    A kinder, gentler Courtney "bashing" (if that's what you want to call it) story, written to show bashers that they don't have to be mean or tasteless to give their favorite punching bag a lot of grief. A loosely connected series of vignettes built around three humiliating incidents based on true stories. Mostly prequel, although two chapters expand on canonical incidents.
    Total Drama series - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Supernatural - Chapters: 8 - Words: 6,002 - Reviews: 84 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 6/29/2013 - Published: 5/18/2013 - Courtney - Complete
    Legacy reviews
    A "what if" story in which Gwen's encounter with the Escaped Psycho Killer With A Chainsaw And A Hook doesn't end the same way as it did on the show. Set 10 years after the (altered) events of Total Drama Island, with flashbacks to the time of the show. Rated T for mature subject matter and a brief scene of graphic violence. Heather-centric.
    Total Drama series - Rated: T - English - Friendship - Chapters: 5 - Words: 11,286 - Reviews: 68 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 5/11/2013 - Published: 4/13/2013 - Heather, Duncan - Complete