Author has written 17 stories for Inuyasha, and Harry Potter.Hey what's up? I'm Cassie, aka c dog. Anyways I hope you like my stories!
Best Movies ever made: Waiting, Dumb and Dumber, Christmas Vacation, Jackass, all of the Indiana Jones movies, Misery (my favorite romantic comedy... haha), Chicago, The Best of Series from Saturday Night Live (including Will Ferrel, Chris Farley, Mike Myers, Dana Carvey, Adam Sandler, and Eddie Murphy), etc.
I bet it was pretty hard to pick up girls if you had the Black Death. - Jack Handey
Sometimes life seems like a dream, especially when I look down and see that I forgot to put on my pants. - Jack Handey
"Little boys who talk dirty grow up to be democrats." - Stewart on MadTV
If you were a pirate, you know what would be the one thing that would really make you mad? Treasure chests with no handles. How the hell are you supposed to carry it! - Jack Handey
"Stop moping around feeling sorry for yourself! You goth kids just walk around saying that life's all pain; Try living in a third world country you pussy!" - Kyle from South Park (My personal favorite! haha)
Mom always told me I could be whatever I wanted to be when I grew up, 'within reason.' When I asked her what she meant by 'within reason,' she said, “You ask a lot of questions for a garbage man.” - Jack Handey (haha, my life story right there...)
"Be careful if anyone ever puts you in the sleeper hold, 'cuz when you wake up your anus will really hurt." - The Mad Real World, Chappelle Show
"I'm from the streets, BITCH!" - Blackzilla, Chappelle Show
The funny thing about driving your car off a cliff, I bet you're still hitting those brakes. - Jack Handey
"This isn't trading places nigga, this is real fucking life!" - Wu Tang Financial, Chappelle Show
"Nowadays we all know that money is everything. Green, get the money, dolla dolla bill ya'll." - Wu Tang Financial, Chappelle Show
When I die, I would like to go peacefully, in my sleep, like my grandfather did. Not screaming and yelling like the passenger in his car. - Jack Handey
When Gary told me he had found Jesus, I thought, ‘Yahoo! We're rich!’ But it turned out to be something different. - Jack Handey
"Oh god, you saw them didn't you! ... You know that tub where you take your little baths? They've done it there, too." - Family Guy
"Why are you lying there, Lois? Have you been drinking?"
If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did." - Jack Handey
"That's impossible Ronda! How can ya sleep if you're high on crack, huh? Chinese riddle for ya!" - Tyrone Biggums the crack addict, Chappelle Show
I love going down to the elementary school, watching all the kids jump and shout, 'cuz they don’t know I’m using blanks. - Jack Handey
"Shhh, dad's awake."
"They're great! They're like sex, except I'm having them!" - Futurama
"As we all know, Christmas is the time of year when the ghost of Jesus rises from the grave and feeds on the flesh of the living..." - Peter, The Family Guy
Well I hope I gave you a good view of my messed up life and sense of humor... don't forget to read my stories and review them!