Lizalfos the Wanderer
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Joined 04-20-13, id: 4676169, Profile Updated: 07-28-14
Author has written 2 stories for Minecraft, and Legend of Zelda.

I'm (kinda) evil and I know it!

Hello, random person! I am Lord Lizalfos the Conqueror, future dictator of the world! And the most random at that. Beware, for my humor fics may stab you in the back unexpectedly because they have knives for some unknown reason! I know I'm bad at, well, being bad but I DON'T CARE! I'll try anyway! I shall destroy the world with Fanfiction! Wait, hold on a second, how does that even work...? Oh well, I'll figure out later.

Current Stuff

Link's Big Mouth (Complete!)

The Origins of the Mobs (Hiatus, since I'm not getting any inspiration at all...)

Age of Empires II: Warlords (Roleplay Forum)

Also, have a look at my alter ego on FictionPress right here! (Link opens in a new window) I plan on posting some original content there soon, so...buh-bye!

--Lord Lizalfos the Conqueror

Oh, and uh, press the "End" key on your keyboard to skip to stories. The list below is expanding, and I don't think it'll get any smaller.


Unrelated stuff--No, I don't do copy-and-pasting things no matter how tear-jerking, interesting, or relevant to me they are. They just take up space and aren't creative. Sorry. Skip over this if you're not here for reference.

Copyright Disclaimer

My use of copyrighted content is strictly for my and my audience's entertainment only. I am not in any way gaining profits for creating these fan works, and thus my use of this content falls under fair use. Besides, it's free advertising anyway! If something is, in fact, my intellectual property (i.e. free of copyrighted content), I will state that I own that material. Other than that, I do not own the rights to anything. Please leave me alone, trigger-happy lawyers, and have a nice day.

Yay! Now I don't have to say "I don't own X" at the beginning of my fics anymore! Feel free to copy my disclaimer onto your profile.

Pokemon Universe RP--Profiles

Name: Evan (Quest) Species: Shinx • Gender: Male • Age: 16 • Moves: Tackle, Leer, Spark, Bite, Charge, Crunch • Ability: Intimidate • Special Appearances: He wears a small, yellowish leather tunic to avoid splinters on his back. • Personality: A quiet and reserved Pokemon, he's known for being a bit of a loner and is still looking for his niche. Most of the time, he just says what he thinks is important and little else. So, for him, close friends are hard to come by. Curiously, he's friendly to strangers. If you have a question to ask him, don't expect a fast response. He has to think about EVERY choice to make, and doesn't always choose what's best for him. Also, he avoids taking risks whenever possible and prefers not to fight. • History: He was born in a tiny, remote village to Luxray parents. That village supplied some lumber to Stardust Town, so most of the villagers were woodcutters and haulers. Being one of the stronger children, he later became a hauler for a living (which explains the tunic). One day, when he was hauling through the forest, he set up camp, but was attacked by Feral Pokemon. He had only a little battle experience before, and was badly injured and was dragged away from their territory. • Other notes: He's fairly strong from hauling lumber most of his life.

Name: Walter (Quest) • Species: Zubat • Gender: Male • Age: 20 • Moves: Supersonic, Bite, Air Cutter, Astonish, Swift, and Leech Life • Ability: Inner Focus • Special Appearances: His right ear is smaller than his left. Also, his left wing and ears are colored grey inside due to a genetic fault. • Personality: Please refer to his Universe personality. Also, he is interested in ancient human civilization. • History: He grew up in some random cave in who-knows-where with his Golbat mother and Crobat father. His father was emotionally abusive (and an idiot), though he dealt with it by developing his über sarcastic and bitter personality that he is to counter it. Boy, did he get into trouble A LOT. At age 15, something in him snapped and he faked his death (by 'dropping' into a deep ravine) to leave his family. He fled far away, vowing to never come back to the father he hated. Somehow, he enjoyed being in the wild, free to explore. • Notes: This is not the same as his Universe counterpart.

Name: Walter (Universe) • Species: Zubat • Gender: Male • Age: Somewhere between 6-6.5 (equivalent to 18-19.5 human years). • Moves: Leech Life (BUG), Supersonic (NRM), Astonish (GHO), Bite (DRK), Wing Attack (FLY), Confuse Ray (GHO, this move affects NRM types), Swift (NRM), and Air Cutter (FLY). • Ability: Inner Focus; he's immune to flinching. • Special Appearance(s): If you look closely, you can see that his right ear is smaller than the left. • Personality: He's a surprisingly intelligent Pokemon (for a Zubat, anyway) that has an odd thirst for discovery and exploration. As a result, he's interested in humans, cities, other Pokemon, Legendary Pokemon (to the extent of risking his life), and even different regions. Though, he tends to be VERY sarcastic, tends to loudly point out others' faults, and is overly judgemental, especially to Pokemon who act mostly on emotions and impulses. He may come off as a stuck-up jerk, or, in worse cases, a 'holier-than-thou' kind of Pokemon. Nonetheless, when you get to know him, he's a loyal, trustworthy, honest, but somewhat aloof friend. • Home: He lives in a cave nearby Oreburgh, but you can find him occasionally flying around the Sinnoh region, which he is native to. • History: There's really nothing interesting here. He led a pretty much normal life, except for the fact that he preferred to avoid trainers and listen to their conversations from above (Because apparently Pokemon understand human commands/language as seen in Soul Silver/Heart Gold). This is what got him interested in humans and other Pokemon; he wanted to investigate about what humans really were and why Pokemon obey them. He acquired his taste for exploration from the fact that different Pokemon and humans existed in different places, and he could find out more about them.

Name: Faustus (Universe) • Species: Grovyle • Gender: Male • Age: 8 (equivalent to 24 human years) • Moves: Pound, Leer, Absorb, Quick Attack, Fury Cutter, Pursuit, Screech, and Leaf Blade. • Ability: Overgrowth • Special Appearances: None • Personality: In a few short words, he's a foolhardy and stubborn individual. While not stupid, he never backs down from a challenge, regardless of circumstances that could follow. Once his decision has been made, there is almost no way he would change his mind. Being the gambler he is, he may end up in a life-threatening situation in a few seconds flat. However, he is a master of getting out of sticky situations, though he doesn't always know when to stop. Give him a thrashing or two and he may realize that enough is enough, though he rarely stops on his own to ask himself "Wait, what am I doing?". He also tends to be a bit indifferent and uncaring toward strangers. However, once you get past his walls, he's quite the passionate friend. He'll stay by your side, even if he knows defeat or death is inevitable. Toward friends or loved ones, he is very warm and cares for their safety (but still takes ridiculous risks himself). If a close friend or relative dies, he loses pretty much all of his morale and either flees or surrenders in the case of battles. Lastly, in battle, he prefers to overwhelm his opponent(s) with sheer speed and impressing moves. • Home: Lives in Unova, but has no definite home. • History: Nothing very significant to speak of. He only gained his addiction to risk when he was a Treecko; a friend dared him to run through Nimbasa City without being caught by trainers. Amazingly, he escaped unscathed (though had quite a few trainers pursuing him) and since treasured the feeling of adrenaline and excitement.

Name: Clayton (Quest) Species: Archen Gender: Male Age: 17 Moves: Quick Attack, Wing Attack, Rock Throw, Hone Claws (TM) and two empty slots. Ability: Defeatist (ATK and DEF are halved when health is at or below 50%) Appearance: Wears a blue bowtie because he thinks bowties are cool! (*wink*) Personality: Up front, you'll notice that--well, he's a nerd, to put it bluntly. Complete with posters of his favorite guild hero, trading cards, bowtie, and how he fanboys in the mere presence of guild masters make him the stereotypical geek. In fact, his dream is to join one of the guilds and form a team. There's much more to him, though. He's passionate about what he does and shows the same emotion toward his friends. Because he wants to be a hero himself, he'll often try his best to help whoever's there, even if they don't need it (to the annoyance of some). He can get pretty excited pretty easily, too. And annoying. Even though he wants to be a hero, he's particularly cowardly when real danger faces him, especially if his health is below 50%. He may also be selfish at times, often taking credit for things he didn't necessarily do. Nevertheless, he's loving and will cling to his few friends like glue. History: Born and raised in Nebula Town, Clayton was an average Archen raised by his Archeops mother. The few times he'd see his father, also an Archeops, was in the nearby guild where he worked. His father sometimes came home and told stories to him of how he carried an injured Pokemon to safety and warded off the ferals in time to protect a small town, along with many other stories. Naturally, this amazed him every time he heard them, so he soon wanted to be just like his father: fighting ferals, saving Pokemon, turning in outlaws, and the like. He moved out when he felt ready to and started to write his own destiny. Or try anyway. Notes: None

Name: Petra (Quest) Species: Chikorita Gender: Female Age: 19 Moves: Tackle, Razor Leaf, Poison Powder, Growl, Protect, and Solar Beam Ability: Overgrowth Appearance: The leaf on the top on her head is woody and allows her to hold an object with it. That said, she's almost never seen without her small lantern she carries on her leaf (more about it in History). She's well aware that it may burn her, but carries it around regardless. Other than that, she looks like a normal Chikorita. Personality: Despite being strenuously trained by her father, she's not quite as hardened as you'd expect. Rather, she's sensitive and concerned about how others see her. This usually leads to her volunteering to make up for every single perceived mistake, even if it's not hers. Unfortunately, her criminal tendencies are still with her, and though she tries to resist, she might fall back into to being a criminal if she feels that she has no help. Not to mention she might act VERY antsy if you bring up her past. She might be secretive to hide both of them whenever she can, but you might be able to tell if she's hiding something. Other than that, she's a great friend. Being extremely reliable, mostly trustworthy, loving, and very close are who she is toward a friend. All in all, she's someone who has plenty of problems who proves to be an excellent companion. History: Her egg was lost in Indus Jungle where it was found by an elderly Torkoal named Tarquin, who was a retired explorer. Seeing that it was completely alone with many ferals around, he took it and kept it safe until it would hatch. Tarquin did have a few selfish reasons for keeping the egg, though, as he did want a male successor (but had no sons of his own) to continue his legacy as one of the finest explorers in the region. Needless to say, he was disappointed when Petra hatched and he found her to be both female AND a Grass-type Pokemon. Nonetheless, he raised her anyway with the hope of making her into a great explorer like himself. So much, in fact, that he made a small lantern for her whenever he felt she was ready. Petra, however, drifted in the opposite direction. She preferred to be a criminal. She would often get in trouble with the law, especially for being involved in smuggling illegal goods for a handsome payment. In fact, she was once successfully hunted down by an adventure team for the bounty over her head. She had a lot of explaining to do after that...she never did it again afterward, but was still very susceptible to crime. Tarquin became very disappointed of his daughter because of this and thought that she will never live up to his standards, and he didn't have any time to discipline her due to his rapidly deteriorating health. She was a disgrace to him and his descendants! So he plotted to dispose of her quietly and permanently: by going to a river, burning her alive, and throwing her ashes into the river. When they reached the river, Petra didn't expect a thing--that is, until her father used a fire move against her and almost killed her. Almost. Instantly, she knew it was an effort to kill her, and retaliated with Poison Powder. Unfortunately, it proved too much for the old and weak Torkoal to take, and, well... Petra had committed murder. Against her own father. Seeing Tarquin die slowly, painfully, him dying right in front of her, and the sheer reality that she just killed her dad of all people was an absolute shock to her. For the first time in her life, she felt guilt, depression, and that she was a complete failure for months on end. Though, when she found the little lantern and saw a note saying it was for her, she resolved to make up for her past sins and carry out her dead father's legacy. She journeyed to a town, seeking a partner to fulfil her goal. However, the looming addiction to crime and money may take its toll on her.

Name: Lydia* (Universe) Species: Espeon Gender: Female Age: 4 yrs. (Equivalent to 12 Pokemon years) Attacks: Helping Hand, Tackle, Sand Attack, Confusion, Psybeam, Future Sight, Morning Sun, Psychic Ability: Synchronize Special Appearances (Optional): None Personality: A very helpful go-to kind of pokemon. She enjoys helping other pokemon out with just about anything, and her psychic abilities help with chores and such. In a battle, she isn't able to fight without a partner, but in the case of a one-on-one, she can stand her own, at least for a little bit. Lydia is quite cautious and timid, she tends to run away rather than fight if she has a choice. Always smiles and happiness, unless someone is hurt, fighting, or in pain. Fighting is not fun for her, but she isn't terrible for it; she had an older brother who taught her how to fight when she was a child. Lydia tends to go wherever something is happening, and generally overplays her part in the community (if she's in a discussion, she has to have the last word). Home: Santalune Forest History (Optional): She grew up in Santalune Forest with her older brother, whom was a Flareon. He loved nothing more than to battle, and Lydia liked making people happy, so she would fight with him occasionally. One day, he declared that he was tired of battling with the same people that he had grown up with, so he left. At one point, he was quite famous as a courageous fighter, but eventually the world lost track of him. Lydia was all the more determined to help others be happy after her brother left, and realized that the best way to do that was to be happy herself. Notes (Optional): Timid nature (increased speed, decreased attack)

The character with the asterisk (star) next to it was created by miniman03.

Name: Lorenzo (Universe) • Species: Arbok • Gender: Male • Age: 9 (equivalent to 27 human years) • Attacks: Ice Fang, Fire Fang, Wrap, Poison Sting, Glare, Acid, Toxic (TM), and Mud Bomb. • Ability: Intimidate • Special Appearances: The 'face' on his hood is the same angry face you'd see on a normal Arbok. Just thought I'd clear that up in case. • Personality: He is a domineering, intense, and pretty scary individual. Always convinced his way is best, he will usually try to persuade others before threatening them with violence. Speaking of which, he is brutal during battles (often humiliating or killing the loser) and never shows mercy. At all. He is driven by hatred, anger, and a misguided attempt to bring and maintain order through violence (ironically). Despite that, he is an excellent leader and can handle even the most difficult choices in that manner. Thus, he can be viewed as a tyrant, even though he treats his subjects and friends well (for the most part). When he sees a friend in trouble, he'll usually try to take over and finish the job for them. He also has an obsession for order and uniformity. Though, he sees that everything has value in some way and will respect it (except for disagreements). Likely to start a cult or some shady organization. • Home: He lives wherever his base of operations is. More specifically, he's native to Unova. • History: Originally a mellow, cheery, wild Ekans who was caught at a young age, he bonded with his trainer (who taught him Toxic) for as long as he could remember. One day, however, his trainer lost Lorenzo's Pokeball out in Castelia City and seemed to never come back. He stayed in his Pokeball for a month until a curious toddler found it underneath a seat. And opened it. Startled, he accidentally attacked the poor kid by using Toxic then fleeing. The toddler died right in front of him (not instantly, though) and he quickly fled the scene from the heartbroken and enraged mother among other people. Soon after the accidental murder, he joined primitive hunting circles to survive. Murder of innocents, Pokemon or human, became so commonplace that he began to be completely insensitive about it. He soon found out he had good leadership skills and became the self-proclaimed leader of many of the hunting groups. They, however, often wouldn't listen to him because of this, so he often resorted to violence and intimidation to get them to do what he thought was best. Even though they were successful, they left him because he became so cruel and abused them often.


Multiverse Mashup--Profiles

Series: Zelda Race: Dark Lizalfos Name: Milo R. Drakhen Aliases: "Lord Lizalfos" "Lizzy" "Mr. D" Gender: Male Age: 25 Earth years. Alignment: Mostly Evil, but can be swayed (More specifically, Lawful Evil). Affiliations: Ghirahim Appearance: Is taller than the average Dark Lizalfos and wears a chain around his neck. (I don't see how THAT could be exploited at all...) Personality: Especially for his race, he is a very intelligent person, usually preferring to do things by the book. Once he's convinced that his way is best, however, he becomes stubborn about it and often doesn't change it. He groans at the stupidity of others and his own men, but is, himself, easily angered. He hates people who act purely on emotion, judging them as worthless and irrational. Though, he isn't pompous. He simply thinks that people like that are always dumb and cannot change. However, he is very loyal. If you somehow become his friend, he'll usually cling tight to you and won't let go. He tries to help his close friends as much as possible, but usually fails miserably. Thus, he's often alone for fear of messing up completely. To summarize, he's an intelligent perfectionist who is often viewed as badly as his masters. History: He was born like pretty much all others of his kind. Well, except he was slightly better at fighting and strategy than most other Dark Lizalfos. His master, Lord Ghirahim, commissioned him to capture the Earth Temple. He and his fellow Lizalfos succeeded and sealed the Sacred Fire that was there away (only to be recovered by Link a few months later). It was hard for him, but he soon developed a knack for logic and strategy because of it. Powers/Abilities: Has the standard Dark Lizalfos powers: blocks attacks with his gigantic gauntlet, hits people with a morning star on his tail if they get too close, and cursed breath. He also wields a shortsword he calls "Wormwood" for its rotting appearance and nasty smell. His last ability is that he is an excellent tactician, often barking orders in a lordly fashion and getting his own hands dirty in the process, hence his nickname, "Lord Lizalfos". Notes: Oddly, he's weak to fire.

UNRELATED RATHALOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOS! ...But the Rathian wants unrelatedness, too!

Smashed Minds by TheWordMasterofFiction reviews
AU. A reporter travels to an insane asylum on a mysterious island in order to uncover what exactly goes on there. As he investigates deeper into the many mysteries of the asylum, his sanity will be tested as he struggles to decide who the sane residents are amid the smashed minds surrounding him. Yet, in a place as crazy as this, who among them is the one who speaks the truth?
Super Smash Brothers - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Mystery - Chapters: 15 - Words: 54,998 - Reviews: 110 - Favs: 57 - Follows: 48 - Updated: 11/27/2013 - Published: 12/28/2012 - Solid Snake - Complete
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Link's Big Mouth reviews
After getting stuck and not knowing what to do, Link gets bored and decides to see what happens when he actually talks. The results are...uh...
Legend of Zelda - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,755 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/23/2014 - Link, Fi - Complete
The Origins of the Mobs reviews
A series of humorous one-shots about why the enemies do what they do. This chapter: Spider! Next one: ? Warning: May contain lethal amounts of fourth-wall breaking, cheesy OCs, cross-references and peanuts. You've been warned.
Minecraft - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,281 - Reviews: 9 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 9/1/2013 - Published: 4/28/2013