keenwriter123
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Joined 04-24-13, id: 4684556, Profile Updated: 07-15-14
Author has written 3 stories for Het Huis Anubis/House of Anubis, and Hunger Games.

Hi, I am keenwriter123.

I like your frown! :P

They hurt her

About six years ago in Indiana, Carmen Winstead was pushed down a sewer opening by five girls in her school, trying to embarass her in front of her school during a fire drill. When she didn't submerge, the police were called. They went down and brought 17-year-old Carmen Winstead's body, with her neck broken from hitting the ladder, then the concret at the bottom. The girls told everyone she fell...they believed them.

FACT: About two months later, 16-year-old David Gregory read this post and didn't repost it. When he went to take a shower, he heard laughter, started freaking out, and ran to his computer to repost it. He said goodnight to his mom and went to sleep, but five hours later, his mom woke up in the middle of the night from a loud noise and David was gone. A few hours later, the police found him in the sewer, with a broken neck and the skin on his face peeled off.

Even Google her name - you'll find this to be true.

If you don't repost this saying They hurt her, then Carmen will get you, either from a sewer, the toilet, the shower, or when you go to sleep, you'll wake up in the sewer, in the dark, then Carmen will come and kill you.

... its Very Creepy.

What element are you?

Fire

You have a short temper.

You often act on your emotions without thinking first

You are very competitive

You like to play with fire

You are not a strong swimmer or you can't swim at all

You prefer warm weather over cold weather

You often lose control over yourself.

You can be quite reckless

You sometimes hurt people without realizing it

People have often called you insane

4/10

Water

You have a calm, laid-back personality.

You like to go to the beach.

You rarely get angry When you do get angry, you know how to control it You think before you act.

You are good at breaking up fights.

You are a great swimmer.

You like the rain.

You can stay calm in stressful situations.

You are very generous.

your mood can change as quickly as the ocean

your favourite colour is blue

5/10

Earth

You are physically strong.

You have a close connection with nature.

You don't mind getting dirty.

You form strong opinions on issues that concern you.

You could easily survive in the wild

You care about the environment.

You can easily focus on your work without getting distracted.

You rarely get depressed.

You aren't afraid of anything

You prefer to have a strict set of rules.

5/10

Air:

You have a free spirit.

You hate rules.

You prefer to be out in the open rather than in small, enclosed spaces.

You hate to be restrained.

You are independent.

You are quite intelligent.

You tend to be impatient.

You are easily distracted.

You can sometimes be hyperactive and/or annoying.

You wish you could fly.

7/10

Yeah, I'm air.

Fake Friends - Know a few things about you.
Real Friends - Could write a book about you.
Fake Friends - Would knock on your front door.
Real Friends - Walk right in and say "I'M HOME!"
Fake Friends - Will help you up when you fall over.
Real Friends - Will jump on top of you and shout "PILE UP!"
Fake Friends - Are for a while.
Real Friends - Are for life.
Fake Friends - Will read this.
Real Friends - Will steal this. Just like I did


Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning many and 'tics' as in the bloodsucking creatures?

When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch the crap out of them.

Do people in America sit around and try to sound like British, like we try and have American accents?

Don't knock at Death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

Last night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars and I thought . . . WHERE THE HELL IS THE CEILING?

Before you judge a person, walk a mile in his shoes. After that, it doesn't matter because you're a mile away from him, and you've got his shoes.

I don't have a short attention span, I just - ooh, a kitty!

I like you. When the world is mine, your death shall be quick and painless.

When you wish upon a falling star, your dreams can come true. Unless it's actually a meteor hurtling toward Earth which will destroy all life. Then you're pretty much hosed no matter what you wish for. Unless it's death by meteor.

When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back.

A true idiot climbs a glass wall to see what's on the other side.

"Let's eat Grandma!" or "Let's eat, Grandma!" Punctuation saves lives.

Get real. No one's going to form a single-file line if the building's on FIRE!

The next sentence is true. The previous sentience is false.

Save the Earth. It's the only planet with cookies.

Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap... you decide.

If you're gonna be two-faced, sweetie, at least make one of them pretty.

You say I'm not cool. Cool is just another word for cold. If I'm not cold then I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thank You for embracing it!

The statistics of insanity is that 1 of every 4 people have a mental illness. Look at your three best friends, if they're okay, then it's you.

A loser is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work.

Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice? That's a really good question... I wonder...

Don't you dare tell me the sky is the limit when there are freaking footsteps on the moon!

There are three kinds of people: Those who can count, and those who can't.

Oh? Rock beats paper? Okay, you try defending yourself with paper when I throw a rock at you.

A criminal will stab you in the front. A traitor will stab you in the back. A boyfriend will stab you in the heart. But only best friends poke each other with straws.

I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I am perfect!


Things I am not to do at Hogwarts

1) The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball

2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office

3) I am not allowed to take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter

4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show you the pointy hat trick

5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar

6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination

7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after my lucky charms"

8) I am not allowed to start a betting pool on this years Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's taste-less, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy.

9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus' "time of the month"

10) I am not allowed to make light saber sounds with my wand

11) I am not allowed to give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals

12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force"

13) I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot

14) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it

15) I will not lock the Slytherin's and Gryffindor's in a room together and bet on which House will come out alive

16) I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Knights of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast

17) I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug A Slytherin Day"

18) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways

19) It is not necessary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor

20) I will not say the phrase, "Get a Life" to Voldemort

21) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy

22) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling

23) It is not necessary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate

24) I will not steal Gryffindor sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways

25) I will not poke Hufflepuff's with spoons, nor shall I insist that their color's indicate that they're "covered in bee's"

26) "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge

27) If a class-mate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm

28) House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers

29) I will not start every potion's class by asking Snape if the potion is acceptable as Body Lotion

30) I will not call the Weasly twins, "bookends"

31) I will not call the Patil twins, "bookends"

32) I will not call the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak

33) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween

34) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself to seriously

35) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions

36) I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet

37) "To conquer the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice

38) I will not attack my fellow classmates

39) I will not make an impossible riddle for people to give an answer to enter the Ravenclaw area


My name is Amy

I am but three,

My eyes are swollen

I cannot see,

I must be stupid

I must be bad,

What else could have made

My father so mad?

I wish I were better

I wish I weren't ugly,

Then maybe my mother

Would still want to hug me.

I can't speak at all

I can't do a wrong

Or else I'm locked up

All the day long

When I awake

I'm all alone

The house is dark

My folks aren't home.

When my mother does come

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe I'll get just

One whipping tonight

Don't make a sound!

I just heard a car

My father is back

From Charlie's Bar.

I hear him curse

My name he calls

I press myself

Against the wall.

I try and hide

From his evil eyes

I'm so afraid now

I'm starting to cry.

He finds me weeping

He shouts ugly words,

He says its my fault

That he suffers at work.

He slaps me and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

And I run for the door.

He's already locked it

And I start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall.

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my father continues

With more bad words spoken.

"I'm sorry!", I scream

But its now much too late

His face has been twisted

Into unimaginable hate.

The hurt and the pain

Again and again

Oh please God, have mercy!

Oh please let it end!

And he finally stops

And heads for the door,

While I lay there motionless

Sprawled on the floor.

My name is Amy

And I am but three,

Tonight my father,

Murdered me.

Child abuse, MAKE IT STOP!

If you care at all about this poor child, paste it onto your profile, before it's too late..


SARCASM AND OTHER STUFF...

1. Children's Aspirin: Warning: Keep Away From Children (so we have children's aspirin...that children can't get to)

2. Peanuts: Warning: Product May Contain Nuts (Really? Now that's shocking...Seriously, I think that was life changing)

3. Curling Iron: Warning: Do not use while sleeping (Dang. I've become addicted to sleep-hair-curling. This will never work!)

4. Candle: Warning: Warning, A burning candle is fire (And here I thought it was ice. Face-palm!)

5. Frozen Pizza: Warning: Do not eat before cooking (You mean we can't chew through all that frozen goodness?)

6. Blanket from Taiwan: Warning: Not To Be Used As Protection From A Tornado (Does this mean people can use it to protect themselves from hurricanes?)

7. Frisbee: Warning: May Contain Small Parts (Uhhh...I kinda thought frisbees were all one piece...Do they come with batteries now or something?)

8. Butcher Knife: Warning: Keep Out of Children (So now sticking them in kids' stomachs when they don't behave is out of the question. That's not abusive or dangerous, now is it?)

9. Railroad Sign: Warning: Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted. (So there's going to be a trial during that person's funeral. Sounds like fun!)

10. Hair Coloring: Warning: Do not use as an ice cream topping (You mean it's not a substitute for whipped cream? NO WAY!)

11. Dial Soap: Warning: Use like regular soap (As opposed to non-regular soap?)

12. Sleeping Pills: Warning: May Cause Drowsiness (So that's why we take them! I thought they were a replacement for coffee)

13. Puzzle: Warning: Some Assembly Required (You mean puzzles don't come all put together in one box?)

14. Japanese Food Processor: Warning: Not to be used for the other use (Uhhh...I don't think I even want to know)


On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (Too late!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (As night follows day . . .)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (But wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (One would hope.)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (I gotta admit, I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (Talk about a news flash.)

On artificial bacon: "Real artificial bacon bits". (So we don't get fake fake bacon. Oh no we get real fake bacon.)

Liquid plummer-"Do not reuse the bottle to store beverages."

Arm and hammer scoopable cat litter-"safe to use around pets"

Endust duster-"This product is not defined flammable by the consumer products safety commission regulations. However this product can be ignited under certain circumstances"

Baby oil-"Keep out reach of children."

Hair coloring-"Do not use as an ice cream topping."

Sleeping pills-"Warning: may cause drowsiness"

Komatsu Floodlight-"This floodlight is capable of illuminating large areas, even in the dark"

Earplugs-"These earplugs are nontoxic, but they may interfere with breathing if caught in windpipe."

RCA television remote control-"Not dishwasher safe."

Road sign-"Caution: water on road during rain."

Hair dryer-"Do not use while sleeping"

On a bar of Dial soap- "Directions: use like regaular soap"

Some Swann frozen dinners-"Serving sugestion: Defrost"


37 Things to do in an Elevator

1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"

2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.

3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.

4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

5. Meow occasionally.

6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.

7. Say "DING!" at each floor.

8. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.

9. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

10. Stare grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."

11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.

13. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."

14. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

15. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them.

16. Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.

17. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"

18. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"

19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.

20. Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.

21. Swat at flies that don't exist.

22. Call out "Group hug!" then enforce it.

23. Make car race noises when someone gets on or off.

24. Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you.

25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"

26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.

27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.

28. Let your cell phone ring - don't answer it.

29. Walk into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."

30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.

31. Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer.

32. Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.

33. Ask, "Did you feel that?"

34. Tell people that you can see their aura.

35. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."

36. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."

37. Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time..."


7 Reasons Not to Mess with Children (small children)

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah". The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The te acher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honour" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.' A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face." "Yes," the class said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE . God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."


Month one

Mommy I am only 8 inches long but I have all my organs. I love the sound of your voice. Every time I hear it I wave my arms and legs. The sound of your heart beat is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy today I learned how to suck my thumb. If you could see me you could definitely tell that I am a baby. I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though. It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy I'm a boy!! I hope that makes you happy. I always want you to be happy. I don't like it when you cry. You sound so sad. It makes me sad too and I cry with you even though you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy my hair is starting to grow. It is very short and fine but I will have a lot of it. I spend a lot of my time exercising. I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes and stretch my arms and legs. I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today. Mommy, he lied to you. He said that I'm not a baby. I am a baby Mommy, your baby. I think and feel. Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again. I don't like him. He seems cold and heartless. Something is intruding my home. The doctor called it a needle. Mommy what is it? It burns! Please make him stop! I can't get away from it! Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy I am okay. I am in God's arms. He is holding me. He told me about abortion. Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped. Two more eyes that will never see. Two more hands that will never touch. Two more legs that will never run. One more mouth that will never speak.

If you're against abortion, re-post this


eliforp ruoy otni siht etsap dna ypoc ,sdrawkcab siht daer ot hguone trams era uoy fI

96% of girls would cry if they saw Justin Bieber about to jump from a very high plane 20,000 feet in the air with no parachute. If you're in the 4% that would bring a cooler of food and drinks and a lawnchair and watch then copy and paste this in your profile.

if you think girls and boys are equal human beings, copy and paste this into your profile.

98 per cent of teens have tried smoking pot. If you haven't, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think hair colour doesn't determine how smart you are, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you want a £1,000,000, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you want a £1,000,000,000,000,000,000, copy and paste this into your profile.

Did you konw taht you can raed mix-up wrods vrey esialy if the frist and lsat ltetrs are in the rgiht palce? If you could read that, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever read started to read a chapter in a fanfiction, got side-tracked, and forgot to review and realized it after the author posted another chapter, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites copy this in your profile.

If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile.

I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do...

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade, and throw those lemons back in the face of the person who gave them to you until you get the oranges you originally asked for.

If you hate those people who are obsessed with what's spam and what's not, copy and paste this into your profile.

Who knocks on the door of a bathroom and asks the person inside What Are They Doing?

Who agrees it takes very much skill to trip on a flat surface?

Who hates it when a person is chewing gum then takes a strand from their mouth and shows it around?

Who likes the fact you could go on a rollercoaster with somebody whose older, yet be smiling the whole time?

Who loves to watch kid shows instead of the drabbling drama on other channels?

Who tries living up to a fortune cookie, but in the end gets laughed at for being so naive?

Who laughs at the person trying to follow a fortune cookie?

Who thinks its weird that a native from a country asks an immigrant or foreigner help on grammar or interpretation?

Who loves the fact when your recent/former state's name is mentioned besides California- such as Nebraska, South/North Dakota, Maine …ect?

Who hates the fact when you put a passcode/password on you computer/T.V./ipod… and a person asks for it? (Isn't that what Passcodes/words are for?)

When nothing goes right… go left.

If you can't handle me at my worst… then you absolutely don't deserve me at my best.

I believe everything happens for a reason. People change so you can learn how to let go. Things go wrong so you can appreciate them when they're right. You can believe lies, so you learn to trust no one but yourself. Finally, something good can fall apart so better things can come fall together.

Its the smallest fish in the pond that has the most room to swim.

Move on. Its just a chapter in the Past. But don't close the book. Just turn to the next page.

Live life to as if you'll die Tomorrow. Dream as if you'll live Forever.

Take at least one… a chance.

There's always a bit of truth behind every, "Just kidding!" a little knowledge in behind every "I don't know!" a little emotion or concern behind every "I don't care." and a little pain behind every "Its Okay."

Someday someone will walk into your life and make you realize why it never worked out with anybody else.

When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile.

Good friends are like stars. You don't always see them, but you know that they're always there.

Laugh your heart out Dance in the rain Cherish the moment Ignore the pain Live, Laugh, Love Forgive and Forget Life is too short To be living with regrets

You never know how Strong you are… until being Strong is your only choice.

Being happy doesn't mean everything is perfect. It means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections.

Life isn't about waiting for the storms to come and stop… its about dancing in the rain.

Our eyes are placed in front because its more important to look ahead than looking behind.

To be old and wise, you must first need to be young and stupid.

Its a beautiful day… now watch some idiot screw it up!

To my Haters: I keep it real and that's a promise. I may be whatever you wanna call me, but at least I'm honest. When I walk by, you stop and glare. Well keep looking, 'Cause I don't care. I have my own life and style. Not trying to please or make you smile. When it comes to competition, your out. So shut your hatin' self and KEEP ME OUTTA YOUR MOUTH!

Sometimes you need to run away just to see who will come after you.

I'd rather have bad times with you, than good times with someone else. I'd rather be beside you in a storm, than safe and warm by myself. I'd rather have hard times together, than to have it easy apart. Remember I'll always love you. You are the one who holds my heart.

Some people blame our generation. But have they ever stopped to think who raised us?

Sometimes all you can do is laugh to keep yourself from crying.

Ooh, Drama! Let's get some popcorn!

I do not own these quotations


RANDOM FACTS THAT ARE GREAT TIME-WASTERS:

>In the 1400's a law was set forth in England that a man was allowed to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have "the rule of thumb"

> Many years ago in Scotland , a new game was invented. It was ruled "Gentlemen Only..Ladies Forbidden"...and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language.

> The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.

> Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the U.S . Treasury.

> Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.

> Coca-Cola was originally green.

> It is impossible to lick your elbow. (Bet you already knew this or you decided to try it out. For all y'all who did: Do you believe me now?)

> The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska

> The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $ 16,400

> The average number of people airborne over theU.S. in any given hour: 61,000

> Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

> The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.

> The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.

> Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:

Spades - King David Hearts - Charlemagne Clubs -Alexander, the Great Diamonds - Julius Caesar

> 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

> If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

> Only two people signed the Declaration ofIndependence on July 4th, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.

> Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what? A. Their birthplace

> Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat name requested? A. Obsession

> Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter "A"? A. One thousand

> Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common? A. All were invented by women.

> Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil? A. Honey

> Q. Which day are there more collect calls than any other day of the year? A. Father's Day

> In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes.

> When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase... "goodnight, sleep tight."

> It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon.

> In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts... So in old England , when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them "Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down." It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's"

> Many years ago in England , pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. "Wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired by this practice.

> At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow!


1. YOUR GANGSTA NAME:(first 3 letters of real name plus izzle):

2. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (colour and animal):

3. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, and current street name):

4. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, last 3 letters of mom's maiden name):

5. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favourite colour, drink):

6. YOUR ARAB NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms maiden name, 3rd letter of your dads middle name, 1st letter of a siblings first name, last letter of your moms middle name):

7. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mothers middle name):

8. YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one your pets):

9. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (fruit, and something that can go wrong):

10. YOUR PIRATE NAME: (colour, pirate accessory):


Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree The
boys don’t want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree.


You know you're a House of Anubis fan when...

You can't hear the term "party animal" without thinking of Alfie.

You can't listen to your history teacher talk about Lewis and Clark without giggling.

You can't think about prom without thinking about Fabian and Nina.

Whenever someone says you're insane, you say, "Very observant."

You want to go to a British boarding school just to see if some weird mystery starts unfolding.

You will ace anything you have to learn about Egyptian mythology.

You know your numerology number and have compared it to your favorite character's multiple times.

You compare yourself to Nina and try to figure out who the Fabian, Amber, Patricia, Alfie, Jerome, Mick, and Mara are in your life.

You think of Mick whenever anyone mentions a scholarship.

You think of Fabian when you think about astronomy.

You know what song Fabian and Nina danced to and are plotting to get your high school to play it at your prom.

You are constantly trying to figure out how to get deadly bugs into an hour glass to threaten your enemies with.

You have looked up what a degenerative condition is and you now feel very sorry for Mr. Winkler.

You have had at least one dream where you were Nina and your boyfriend was Fabian.

Copy and paste this to your profile if you have done at least three of these things.

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...

You talk to yourself a lot. (Alot meaning all the time...)

You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (e.g. 'Why do I constantly ask my self random things?')

When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someone's liver?')

After uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow,this stuff is great for sugar highs...'

You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then disappear off the face of the earth.

You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.

When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.

No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.

The letters on your keyboard are wearing off.

Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome.

You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.

You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason

Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.

And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101.

(copy that into you're profile if you fit one or more of the descriptions)


20 ways to maintain a healthy level of insanity:

1: At lunch time, sit in your car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars; see if they slow down

2: Page yourself over the intercom. Do not disguise your voice.

3: Every time some one asks you to do something, ask them if they want fries with that

4: Put you garbage can on your desk and label it "IN"

5: Put decaf in the coffee maker (home or work). When everyone gets over their caffeine addiction, switch to espresso

6: In your memo book, on all your checks, put "FOR SMUGGLING DIAMONDS"

7: Finish all your sentences with "In Accordance To The Prophecy"

8: Dont use any punctuation

9: As often as possible, skip instead of walking

10: Order diet water whenever you go out with a serious face

11: Specify that your drive-thru order is "TO GO"

12: Sing along at the opera

13: Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme

14: Put mosquito netting around your work area (or room) and play tropical sounds all day

15: 5 days in advance, tell your friend that you can't go to their party cause you don't 'feel like it'

16: Have friends or coworkers address you by your wrestling name "Rock Bottom"

17: When the cash comes out of the ATM yell, "I WON, I WON!!!!!!!!!"

18: When exiting the zoo, start running toward the parking lot, yelling, "Run for your lives they're loose"

19: Tell your children (or younger sibling) that "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go"

20: And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity is... Copy this and put it on your profile!


This game has a funny/spooky outcome.

Don't read ahead...just do it in order! It's worth a try.

First..get a pen and paper. When you actually choose names, make sure it's people you actually know and go with your first instinct.

Scroll down one line at a time...and don't read ahead or you'll ruin it!

1. First, write the numbers 1 through 11 in a column.

2. Then, beside numbers 1 and 2, write down any two numbers you want.

3. Beside the 3 and 7, write down the names of members of the opposite sex.

4. Write anyone's name (like friends or family...) in the 4th, 5th, and 6th spots.

5. Write down four song titles in 8,9,10, and 11. (Go with your instincts!)

6. Finally, make a wish.

And now the key for the game...

1. You must tell (the number in space 2) people about this game.

2. The person in space 3 is the one that you love.

3. The person in 7 is one you like but can't work out.

4. You care most about the person you put in 4.

5. The person you name in number 5 is the one who knows you very well.

6. The person you name in 6 is your lucky star.

7. The song in 8 is the song that matches with the person in number 3.

8. The title in 9 is the song for the person in 7.

9. The tenth space is the song that tells you most about YOUR mind.

10. 11 is the song telling you how you feel about life

NOW...post this bulletin (don't reply) within the hour. IF you do, your wish will come true...

If you don't it will become the opposite...


I got you a present; it's a CD. I hope you haven't got it, because I don't have a receipt... and I didn't exactly buy it...

Have you ever noticed how lol looks like someone drowning? But this makes it look like they are drowning and getting chased by a shark -> lol


Ways to Annoy Your Parents

-I am not responsible for any shouting, yelling and punishments they give you. Please note: USE AT YOUR OWN RISK! Please do not sue me when your parents hand out your punishment for using this.

1 - Follow them all the time 2 - Say "Muu" when they call you 3 - Pretend you got amnesia 4 - Keep walking backwards 5 - Run all over the house with a bulb in your hand and saying "The Sun! It's dying!" 6 - Run on the walls 7 - Sing out loud while you run all over the house wearing only underwear 8 - Say that wearing clothes is against your religion 9 - Stay in front of them at four in the morning and with a big smile in the face say "Good morning, sunshine!" 10 - Run in circles 11 - Recite a whole movie. Three times. 12 - Pretend you're fighting yourself. Lose. 13 - Pull somebody's hair and scream "DNA!" 14 - Wear a T-Shirt that reads "I'm Retarded!" 15 - Wear jeans on your heads, a t-shirt on your waist and say it's a new fashion concept 16 - Try to find another way to drink something in a glass 17 - Glue your finger on your nose with Super Glue 18 - Talk to a pen 19 - Have imaginary friends. Talk to them all the time. 20 - Pretend you're a Viking 21 - Try to climb on the walls 22 - Scream really loud "WHERE-IS-MY-MOTHER!?" 23 - Put an ice-cream cone on your forehead and say you're a beautiful unicorn 24 - Do what they tell you to 25 - Stay turning the lights on and off and after 5min say "ooh! I get it now..." 26 - Eat un edible things. 27 - Sit in front of the fan with your arms wide open and sing "I believe I can fly!!" 28 - Hold their hands and say "I see dead people..." 29 - When taking a shower, scream "I'm drowning!" 30 - Chase an imaginary tail 31 - Demand your own telephone number 32 - Scream "Lie!" for everything they say 33 - Pretend you're 268 years old 34 - Stay upside down in your closet 35 - Pretend you're a telephone 36 - Try to swim on the ground 37 - Knock on their door all the night 38 - Pretend you have multiple personalities 39 - Deny everything they say before they finish saying and say "Why what? Are you trying to find a reason to punish me?". Take a long breath, blink three times and say "Can I help you?" 40 - Ask "What?" for everything they say and pretend you don't understand 41 - Look at you father for some time and then say "I'M USING NEW SOCKS!" 42 - Always repeat "What would give you that idea?" 43 - When your mother start talking to you, say "Lo siento, No hablo Inglés" 44 - Tell them you have a very important secret that you can't tell to anyone, they'll insist on you to tell the secret, then you whisper "I'm Spiderman/Catwoman!" 45 - Stay looking at nowhere for some time and quickly look at your parents with a scared expression and say "Did you feel that?!" 46 - Write "Will you really eat this little bird?"/"Eggs are friends, not food!" on every egg you got in the freezer 47 - When having dinner, stand up and say to one of your siblings: "Due to economic problems, you will be banished from this house." 48 - Always say "That's so hot" with Paris Hilton accent 49-Tell them that they're old. Repeatedly. 50 - Tell them everything you did was just to annoy them


Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you like me?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you want me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you cry if I left?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you live for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you do anything for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Choose--me or your life

Boy: My life

The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...

The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.

The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.

The reason I don't want you is because I need you.

The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.

The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.

The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.

The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.

Copy an paste this into your profile if you thought that was really sweet!


This is funny but also true on BOTH sides...

A SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlikeEnglish, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la Casa.' 'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.'

A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?'

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves

Whether computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the feminine gender ('la computadora'), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

(THIS GETS BETTER!)

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be

Masculine ('el computador'), because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;

2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better one.

The women won (although in Spanish, it technically is La Computadora)


What to Do During an Exam

1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"

2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.

4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.

6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.

7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.

8. Come down with a BAD case of Tourette's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.

9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.

10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

11. Every 5 min. stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.

12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.

13. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Darn this!" and walk out triumphantly.

14. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (ie. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go ice skating.)

15. Show up completely insane (completely insane means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).

16. Comment on how amazing the instructor is looking that day.

17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.

18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.

19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave.

20. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice. (I would never do that)

21. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.

22. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave.

23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary.

24. Act spazzy

25. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the heck are you? Where's the regular guy?"

26. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up!

27. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.

28. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"

29. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.

30. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.

31. In the middle of the test, have a friend rush into the classroom, tag your hand, and resume taking your test for you. When the teacher asks what's going on, calmly explain the rules of Tag Team Testing to him/her.

32. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."

33. Stand up after about 15 minutes, and say loudly, "Okay, let's double-check our answers! Number one, A. Number two, C. Number three, E..."

34. Fake an heart attack. When interrupted, apologize, and explain that question #_ moved you, deeply.

35. Wear a superman outfit under your normal clothes. 30 minutes into the exam, jump up and answer your phone, shouting "What? I'm on my way!!". rip off your outer clothes and run out of the room. strike a pose first for added effect.

36. Tailgate outside the classroom before the exam.

37. If your answers are on a scantron sheet, fill it out in pen.

38. Bring a giant cockroach into the room and release it on a girly-girl nearby.

39. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle.

40. Bring one pencil with a very sharp point. Break the point off your pencil. Sharpen the pencil. Repeat this process for one hour.

41. Make Strange noises... get people to stare... look at the person next to you as if he/she did it.

42. Dress like the professor.

43. Cross-Dress.

44. Use Invisible Ink to answer the whole exam.

45. Order catering. The catering company should come in about halfway through the test, and should include at least three waiters, eight carts of food, and five candelabras.


A B C D E F G Gummy Bears are chasing me

One is red and one is blue

One is trying to steal my shoe

Now I'm running for my life

'Cause the red one has a knife


A: Hot B: Loves people C: A good kisser D: Makes people laugh E: Has gorgeous eyes F: People wild and crazy adore you G: Very outgoing H: Easy to fall in love with I: Loves to smile and laugh J: Really sweet K: Really silly L: Smile to die for M: Makes dating fun N: Can kick the crap out of you O: Has one of the best personalities ever P: Popular with all types of people Q: A hypocrite R: Good boyfriend/girlfriend S: Cute T: A very good kisser U: Is very flirtatious. V: Not judgemental W: Very broad minded X: Never let people tell you what to do Y: Is loved by everyone Z: Can be funny and dumb at times


Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia or Sesquipedalophobia- Fear of long words Doctor: "You have Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia." Patient: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!"

Androphobia- Fear of males A guy wakes one morning, "OMG!!!"

Unatractivephobia- Fear of ugly people You walk outside to your car and some old ladies walking down the street and you run inside screaming.

Venustraphobia- Fear of beautiful woman A guy looks at his fiancée

Thaasophobia- Fear of sitting Teacher: "Bobby, it's time to SIT DOWN OR ELSE." Bobby: "It's alright, I'm not *yawn* tired, I'll stand."

Sophophobia- Fear of learning Mom: "Honey, what did you learn today?" Kid: "MOMMY!! DON'T SAY THE 'L' WORD!!!"

Scriptophobia- Fear of writing in public A famous person. Signing autographs. Ouch.

Scolionophobia- Fear of school Kid: "But Mommy, you're a teacher, what do you mean you don't like school?" Mom/Teacher: "I can just hear all those fingernails on the chalkboard!!"

Phronemophobia- Fear of thinking Wife: "Just think how wonderful a trip to Paris would be..." Husband: "I WON'T DO IT!! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!!"


Wake up in the morning', Feeling' like detectives, Got my clues, I'm out the door, Gonna hit the United Nation, Before I leave, I say Sibuna, Throw some stuff in the fire, The teachers say that Joy's at home, but they're all just liars..

I'm talking' what kind of spy name is Rene, Rene? Victor says we're gonna pay, pay Let's find some clues today, day We're sneaking' up into the att-ic, Down into the base-ment, What's up with Joy's disappearance...?

Don't stop, make it pop! Fabian, blow my cylinder up tonight, Imma fight, till Victor drops the pin tonight, Tik tok, picked a lock, Man, this attic is really hot! Oh-whoa-whoa, Oh-whoa-whoa- X2

So now the teachers are lining up, 'Cause they hear we're onto them But we'll just run away, unless Fabian's got a plan again.. I'm talking', Corbier’s feathers everywhere, where Steal Victor's keys if we dare, dare [repeat chorus]


If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?

I'm not afraid of death! What's it going to do? Kill me?

I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road & not have their motives questioned.

People say that I have totally lost it. I wasn't even aware I had it.

Anyone who uses the phrase "easy as taking candy from a baby" has never tried taking candy from a baby.

Boys are like trees – they take fifty years to grow up.

Don't you dare tell me the sky is the limit if there are freaking footsteps on the moon!

Life isn't about the number of breaths we take, but the moments that take our breath away. Like choking.

The pen may be mightier than the sword, but my keyboard can crush your crummy pen!

I'm not so good at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

I'm on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of something called "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.

You can't spell awesome without ME!

Boys are like Slinky's . . . useless, but fun to watch fall down stairs.

Best friends means killing each other for a bag of chips, and at the end not saying sorry, but instead saying "Haha, too bad, loser"


Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy marshmallows, which is kinda the same thing.

If you can read this message, you are blessed because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah". The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."

I agree with the dictionary, GIRLS before GUYS, PARTYING before STUDYING, and FRIENDS before LOVE!


IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, THE SOUNDTRACK WOULD BE...
So, here's how it works:
1. Open your music library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, FrostWire, etc.).
2. Put it on shuffle.
3. Press play.
4. For every question, type the song that's playing.
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button.
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool...

Opening Credits:

Waking Up:

First Day At School:

Making Your New Best Friend:

Falling In Love:

Breaking Up:

Prom:

Graduation:

Life's Okay:

Death of a Close Friend:

Mental Breakdown:

Driving:

Flashback:

Getting Back Together:

Birth of Child:

Wedding scene:

Car Accident:

Final Battle

:Death Scene:

Funeral song:

End Credits:


Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

Things Life Tells Me.

1. Walking into walls hurts.

2. Voldemort's parents took the "I Got Your Nose" game a little too seriously.

3. Life is weird, first you want grow up, then you want to be a kid again.

4. Has anyone else noticed that Hannah Montana looks a lot like Miley Cyrus?

5. If the people in horror movies listened to to me, they'd still be alive.

6. If you always expect the unexpected then doesn't that make the unexpected expected?

7. 3 out of the 4 voices in my head want to sleep. The other one wants to know if penguins have knees.


Copy and paste this if you have done one of the below: Done=Bold.

1) You walked into a room, forgot why, walked out, then remembered

2) When you were younger, you drew the sun in the corner of the paper

3) When you were little, you thought the shape of a real heart was the same a romantic heart

4) Closed the fridge really slow, just to see the lights go out

5) Tried to balance the light switch between on and off


Impossibilities of the world:

1) You can't count your hair

2) You can't wash your eyes with soap

3) You can't breath with your tongue out. Put your tongue back in fool!

10 things I know about you:

1. You are reading this

2. You are human

3. You can't say "P" without separating your lips

4. You just attempted that

6. You are laughing at yourself

7. You are smiling and have missed number 5

8. You just checked to see if there is a number 5

9. You laugh at this because you are a fool

10. You are on the Internet.

11. You think that is a stupid fact.

12. You didn't realise there is only meant to be 10 facts.

13. You will share this to see who else falls for it.


Reality of fear

You're not afraid of the dark

You're afraid of what's in it

You're not afraid of heights

You're afraid of falling

You're not afraid of the people around you

You're afraid of getting rejected

You're not afraid of love

You're afraid of not being loved back

You're not afraid to let go

You're afraid to accept he's really gone

You're not afraid of trying again

You're afraid of getting hurt for the same reason


I can't take this long distance relationship any more. Fridge, you're coming to my room.

When you fall, I'll be there for you- Floor.

I need a six month vacation twice a year.

I don't like morning people... or mornings... or people...

I throw my Spanish in the air sometimes saying "AYYOOOOOO NO COMPRENDO!"- me

I blow up supplies in the air sometimes saying "AYYYOOOOOO TAKE THAT CATOOOO!"- Katniss Everdeen


Female dictionary

Nothing, Forget It: You better figure out what you did wrong.

Are you tired?: Don't go to sleep. I love talking to you.

I'm OK: Hold me tight. I need a shoulder to cry on.

I'm cold: Get a blanket and snuggle up with me.

Please leave me alone: Don't go.

I love you: Tell me you do more.

Male dictionary

Nothing, forget it: Stop talking about it.

Are you tired: Generally wants to know if you are sleepy.

I'm OK: Nothings wrong.

I'm cold: I better get a blanket or something.

Please leave me alone: I need some me time.

I love you: I love you. Just that. I don't expect a response.


You're in bed at 6AM. You close your eyes. It's 7:45. You're at school at 12:30. You close your eyes. It's 12:30.

What I say to my mum: Where's my shirt? I'm hungry? Can I get a lift? Do I have to go? My friends coming. I'm cold. I can't find my homework.

What I say to my dad: Where's mum?

After Tuesday, even my calendar goes W T F.

Shop Keeper: Can I help you? Me: No, I just waited 30 minutes in a line to say hi.

I hate how chocolate melts on my finger. I mean, am I that hot?

When a girl and boy kiss...

Primary: Everyone: EWWWWWWWWW

Secondary school: Everyone: Awww, how cute!!!

University: Get a damn room!

Dare haters, I couldn't help but notice awesome ends in "ME" and ugly starts with "U".


79% of the world don't know the opposite word for the following:

1. ALWAYS

2. COMING

3. FROM

4. TAKE

5. ME

6. DOWN


God made men, said "I can do better", and made women.


Rules for my English lessons...

Verbs has to agree with their subjects.

Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.

And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.

It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.

Avoid clichés like the plague. (They're old hat).

Always avoid annoying alliteration.

Be more or less specific.

Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.

Also, too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.

No sentence fragments. No comma splices, run-ons are bad too.

Contractions aren't helpful and shouldn't be used.

Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.

Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it really is very highly superfluous.

One should never generalize.

Comparisons are as bad as clichés.

Don't use no double negatives.

Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.

One-word sentences? Eliminate.

Analogies in writing is like water off the back of a duck.The passive voice is to be ignored.

Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.

Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.

Kill all exclamation points!!!!

Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.

Understatement is probably not the best way to propose earth-shattering ideas.

Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed.

As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.”

If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times: resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly.

Puns are not for children, they are intended for groan readers.

Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.

Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.

Who needs rhetorical questions?

Exaggeration is a million times worse than understatement.

Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

The spell chequer is knot always write.


If Rue is one of your favorite characters, copy this onto your profile

If Foxface is one of your favorite characters, copy this onto your profile

If Johanna is one of your favorite characters, copy this onto your profile

If you wished Finnick Lived ,copy onto your profile

Repost this if you are a THG Fan! Bold the ones you are!

After reading the books you-

1. Love the colour sunset

2. Mourn all the characters for months

3. You can't think about bread the same way

4. The name 'Peter' Doesn't sound right anymore

5. You always say 'Mockingjay' instead of'Mockingbird'

6. You think of tracker jackers when you see bees

7. You seem to act like Katniss for a while

8. You want to name your bird 'Mockingjay'

9. You named your cat 'buttercup'

10. You call your sister 'little duck'

11. You love the colour green

12. You giggled when you found out prim mean 'petite and proper'

13. You think hollywood is the capitol

14. You search up hunger games funny pics

15. You want to taste peeta food

16. you wonder what Keeta named there kids

17. you think Finnick's son is called Finn or Finnick Jr

18. You want to name your kid Peeta

19. You think Finnick is an awesome name

20. You don't and do want to be Katniss


School Work: 22=4

Homework: 242=8

Exam: Omar has 2 apple, his train is 7 minutes late, calculate the mass of the sun.

Me: WTF???

Dear Teacher,

I talk wherever I am. Moving me will not help.

Why do we need school?

Music: we have youtube

PE: wii sport

English: everything's shortened anyway

Maths: we have calculators for that

Spanish: there's DORA

Geography: I'll buy a globe

History: They're all dead anyway

Preschool- "Sit behind the desk and don't break anything"

School: "It's a lot harder in High School"

High School: "It's a lot harder in Uni"

Uni: "It's a lot harder in the real world"

Real world (Job): "Sit behind the desk and don't break anything"

I put earlier dates on my homework so it doesn't look like I procrastinate.

Dear Algebra,

I am sick of trying to find your X. Just accept that she is gone.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Scarred by Definition of a Writer reviews
I haven't spoken in years - no one ever listened. I can't stand touch, I barely eat. I feel like one of the walking dead. But today is my escape. Today is the beginning of my freedom. I can only hope it'll go better than everything else in my screwed up life. (Fabina - AU - Rated T - Complete)
Het Huis Anubis/House of Anubis - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 67 - Words: 268,005 - Reviews: 2755 - Favs: 333 - Follows: 320 - Updated: 6/16 - Published: 12/18/2012 - [Nina M., Fabian R.] - Complete
A dragon ate my homework! by RookieWriter.SHO reviews
What I've learnt this year at Hogwarts: Draco Malfoy is a pureblood Nazi. My friends can't stay out of trouble. The Weasly twins are the devil. Gryffindor is awesome. 1001 Excuses about not having your homework done. 1001 reasons why Snape doesn't care. If you break the rules you get points.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 6 - Words: 17,169 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 40 - Updated: 3/24 - Published: 1/4/2014 - George W., OC, Fred W.
Lost & Found by Smiley612 reviews
Before Fabian Rutter was famous, he met Nina Martin at a small coffee shop. One thing led to another, and they had a one-night stand, but then didn't see each other again for 3 years. When Fabian receives a photograph of his daughter, he meets up with Nina once again, and they must rekindle their relationship while battling the difficulties of fame. AU. Rated T for teen pregnancy.
Het Huis Anubis/House of Anubis - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 33 - Words: 214,996 - Reviews: 291 - Favs: 101 - Follows: 98 - Updated: 1/6 - Published: 3/6/2013 - Nina M., Fabian R. - Complete
Golden Eyes by Megs-282 reviews
It's been two weeks since the events of season 3 and the House of Anubis seems to be in a state of normality. But when Eddie's Osirion senses start tingling and a certain someone returns to the UK, will anything ever be the same again?
Het Huis Anubis/House of Anubis - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Mystery - Chapters: 27 - Words: 38,293 - Reviews: 285 - Favs: 91 - Follows: 91 - Updated: 8/19/2015 - Published: 4/24/2013 - Nina M.
Don't Be Afraid by Smiley612 reviews
A couple of days after Nina goes missing, Sibuna starts to recieve mysterious dreams. These dreams aren't like any other, though; Nina's in them. She's giving them clues to help them find her. Will Fabian and the others piece together the clues before time runs out? [Set after season 1. Longest story on the HoA archive!]
Het Huis Anubis/House of Anubis - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Drama - Chapters: 57 - Words: 301,350 - Reviews: 505 - Favs: 116 - Follows: 113 - Updated: 10/18/2014 - Published: 10/18/2011 - Nina M., Fabian R. - Complete
The Distant Waves by brittany.pehlke reviews
In the 69th Hunger Games two girls from two separate districts choose between friendship and survival. They have the opportunity to go in as careers or to join their own pack. What will these unfortunate's do to survive. Will they throw away their humanity just to live in fear for the rest of their lives?
Hunger Games - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Adventure - Chapters: 27 - Words: 42,562 - Reviews: 44 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 8/25/2014 - Published: 7/15/2014 - Finnick O., Pres. Snow, Caesar F.
House of Facebook by MysteryWriter54321 reviews
Taken place after the mystery, the gang all goes on FB. Some posts makes others mad, the others find out the truth. Some mentions of couples. Switched from online to offline.
Het Huis Anubis/House of Anubis - Rated: K - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 45 - Words: 14,568 - Reviews: 394 - Favs: 89 - Follows: 57 - Updated: 6/20/2014 - Published: 6/13/2011
House of Anubis Season 4 by HOAFan99 reviews
Everyone comes back from their summer break
Het Huis Anubis/House of Anubis - Rated: K+ - English - Mystery/Suspense - Chapters: 19 - Words: 15,610 - Reviews: 147 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 38 - Updated: 2/8/2014 - Published: 4/15/2013
Harry Potter, the Real Story by KatnissEverdeen101 reviews
The story of Harry Potter was true, but they left out one important part, his sister, Amy Potter.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 26 - Words: 17,582 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 36 - Updated: 12/21/2013 - Published: 8/22/2012 - Harry P., Draco M.
All's fair in love and war by bs13 reviews
AU. At Anubis High, all's fair in love and war. Fabian, the nerd. Joy, his best friend. Patricia the rebel. Jerome the womanizer. Eddie and Alfie, the cool guys. Amber, Nina, Willow, and KT, the cheerleaders. Mick the jock. Mara the teacher's pet. Different statuses, but they all combine into the big scandal that is high school. Jara, Jabian, Peddie, Amfie.
Het Huis Anubis/House of Anubis - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 19 - Words: 76,711 - Reviews: 405 - Favs: 77 - Follows: 84 - Updated: 9/24/2013 - Published: 1/22/2013
House of Anubis: The Foreshadower is Called by qualitywrites reviews
Taking place before the Touchstone of Ra, Sibuna faces their greatest challenge yet. Follow their journey in season 4, House of Anubis: The Foreshadower is Called.
Het Huis Anubis/House of Anubis - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 19,530 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 12 - Published: 6/9/2013 - Nina M., Amber M., Eddie M., KT Rush - Complete
Welcome Back! by applesngrapes reviews
The mystery is over and everything can go back to normal. But nothing is ever normal in Anubis house, is it? Fabina, Patrome/Peddie, Amfie, Mickra/Jara.
Het Huis Anubis/House of Anubis - Rated: T - English - Drama/Mystery - Chapters: 25 - Words: 27,742 - Reviews: 79 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 5/26/2013 - Published: 5/27/2011
Always a Slave by Analaa reviews
Gabby is a 17 year old who is abused by her parents. She is the school nerd who is bullied by the queen bee. Unknown to her the queen bee is a vampire who plans to give her as a slave to another male vampire. Will she ever be free? Please R&R.
Vampires - Rated: T - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 45 - Words: 65,423 - Reviews: 545 - Favs: 190 - Follows: 147 - Updated: 2/12/2013 - Published: 12/27/2010 - Complete
Dark Fabian by NJ7009 reviews
Fabian has never been the agressive type, never intensionally hurts people, and would never, EVER, betray the one he loves. But when Senkhara is in the driving seat, Fabian becomes a black hearted, violent slave to the forgotten ruler. Now betrayal and trust, love and hate are about to occur inside the Anubis house... will the Sibuna gang bring Fabian back to his senses? Rated T
Het Huis Anubis/House of Anubis - Rated: T - English - Drama/Suspense - Chapters: 20 - Words: 19,194 - Reviews: 161 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 8/17/2012 - Published: 6/1/2012 - Fabian R. - Complete
The 80th Hunger Games by LemonadeMouther reviews
The Rebellion failed, and the Capitol's wrath is back with a new, bloodthirsty edition of the Hunger Games...T for being the Hunger Games. 28 SPOTS OPEN!
Hunger Games - Rated: T - English - Angst/Horror - Chapters: 2 - Words: 719 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 11 - Published: 12/1/2011 - Other tributes
The Beauty and the Tragedy by MuslimBarbie reviews
It's funny, Amy thinks, that off all the bloody things he could have chosen, the Doctor decided to call her Amelia Pond, the-girl-who-waited. Rory's the one who waits, not Amy. He always does. Except then he didn't. - Amy/Rory, slow-moving Eleven/Amy
Doctor Who - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 15,369 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 41 - Updated: 11/17/2011 - Published: 10/7/2011 - Amelia P./Amy, 11th Doctor
House of Hogwarts by patriciawilliamsons reviews
What if the Anubis House residents are witches and wizards? And get accepted to Hogwarts? Crossover of House of Anubis and Harry Potter.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Het Huis Anubis/House of Anubis - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 25 - Words: 48,126 - Reviews: 342 - Favs: 102 - Follows: 69 - Updated: 10/24/2011 - Published: 3/31/2011
Homework Excuses by BajaB reviews
One of the Marauder's has the worst possible excuse for not completing his homework on time. Early Marauders era.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,880 - Reviews: 63 - Favs: 295 - Follows: 47 - Published: 6/2/2006 - James P., Sirius B. - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Everything comes with a price reviews
The rebellion failed. Snow is alive. Katniss and Peeta are now happily married. But now everyone must pay...
Hunger Games - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Tragedy - Chapters: 5 - Words: 4,399 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 12/30/2014 - Published: 3/26/2014
Clinging on reviews
When Nina goes to the outside world, everything is about to change. With an over protective father, a girl who really hates her guts, and her best friend likes the same guy she does, well, what can you expect? Yeah, story so much better than this rubbish.
Het Huis Anubis/House of Anubis - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 6 - Words: 6,630 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 3/16/2014 - Published: 10/14/2013 - Nina M., Fabian R. - Complete
House of Anubis Season 4 reviews
Anubis residents are back from Summer. With a new mystery, new teachers, and a strange arrival, can Sibuna save the world? Story so much better than summary.
Het Huis Anubis/House of Anubis - Rated: K+ - English - Mystery/Adventure - Chapters: 13 - Words: 5,534 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 8/30/2013 - Published: 7/6/2013 - Complete