SporadicHeartCollector
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Joined 05-04-13, id: 4705191, Profile Updated: 08-03-16
Author has written 8 stories for Fullmetal Alchemist, Attack on Titan/進撃の巨人, and Young Justice.

I am Mio and I live in the US I like to rp, my favorite shows are Attack On Titan, FMAB and FMA, Naruto, and Free. I like putting stuff on my profile so if you have something interesting please pm me! Also I am open for fic requests so lemme know~! I really like songfics too so yeah.

Something I read

The 6 truths of life...

1. You can't lick all of your teeth with your tongue.

2. You just tried to do the above.

3. The first truth is a lie.

4. You're smiling now because you're realizing you're an idiot.

5. You'll copy this into your profile for some other sucker to read it.

6. There's still a stupid smile on your face.

also I love this one

Daddy’s Rules for Dating His Daughters

Rule One:

If you pull into my driveway and honk you’d better be delivering a package, because you’re sure not picking anything up.

Rule Two:

You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter’s body, I will remove them.

Rule Three:

I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don’t take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four:

I’m sure you’ve been told that in today’s world, sex without utilizing a “Barrier method” of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

Rule Five:

It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is: “early”

Rule Six:

I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Rule Seven:

As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is getting ready, a process than can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don’t you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

Rule Eight:

The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden tool. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to introduce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.

Rule Nine:

Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house.

Rule Ten:

Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveways you should exit the car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car – there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.

I showed my dad this and and he said its all true{except he needs an electric nail gun}

also

APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor. NAME_

DATE OF BIRTH_

HEIGHT_

WEIGHT_

IQ_

GPA_

SOCIAL SECURITY #_

DRIVERS LICENSE #_

BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES_

HOME ADDRESS_

CITY/STATE_

ZIP_

Do you have parents? _Yes _No

Is one male and the other female? _Yes _No

If No, explain: _

Number of years they have been married _

If less than your age, explain _

ACCESSORIES SECTION: A. Do you own or have access to a van?

Yes _No

B. A truck with oversized tires?

Yes _No

C. A waterbed?

Yes _No

D. A pickup with a mattress in the back?

Yes _No

E. A tattoo?

Yes _No

F. Do you have an earring, nose ring,pierced tongue, pierced cheek or a belly button ring?

Yes _No

(IF YOU ANSWERED "YES" TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY. I SUGGEST RUNNING.)

ESSAY SECTION: In 50 words or less, what does "LATE" mean to you? _

In 50 words or less, what does "DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to you? _

In 50 words or less, what does "ABSTINENCE" mean to you? _

REFERENCES SECTION: Church you attend _

How often you attend _

When would be the best time to interview your: father? _ mother? _ pastor? _

SHORT-ANSWER SECTION: Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers are confidential.

A: If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be: _

B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my: _

C: A woman's place is in the: _

D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is: _

E. What do you want to do IF you grow up? _ _ _

F. When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is: _

F. What is the current going rate of a hotel room? _

I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE. _

Applicant's Signature (that means sign your name, moron!) _

Mother's Signature Father's Signature _

Pastor/Priest/Rabbi State Representative/Congressman

Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-sexual. Please allow four to six years for processing. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write (since you probably can't, and it would cause you injury). If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentleman wearing white ties carrying violin cases. (you might watch your back)
my dad loved this one too.

This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her in the ground when she was still alive. The murderer chanted,"Toma sota balcu" as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this in your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded

One and Only Wish Do it one by one, don't look ahead!

1. Write the name of a person of the opposite sex.

2. Which is your favorite color out of red, black, blue, green, yellow?

3. Your first initial?

4. Your month of birth?

5. Which color do you like more, black or white?

6. Name of a person of the same sex as yours.

7. Your favorite number?

8. Do you like California or Florida more?

9. Do you like the lake or the ocean more?

10. Write down a wish (a realistic one).

Are you done?

If so, scroll down

(don't cheat--)

THE ANSWERS

1. You are completely in love with this person.

2. If you choose:

Red: You are alert and your life is full of love.

Black: You are conservative and aggressive.

Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back.

Blue: You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones you

love.

Yellow: You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are

down.

3. If your initial is:

A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life.

L-R: You try to enjoy life to the maximum and your love life is soon to

blossom.

S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.

4. If you were born in:

Jan.-Mar.: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you

fall in love with someone totally unexpected.

Apr.-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but

the memories will last forever.

July-Sept.: You will have a great year and will experience a major life

changing experience for the good.

Oct.-Dec.: Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your

soulmate.

5. If you choose...

Black: Your life will take on a different direction, it will seem hard at the time

but will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change.

White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do

anything for you, but you may not realize it.

6. This person is your best friend.

7. This is how many close friends you have in a lifetime.

8. If you choose... California: You like adventure. Florida: You are a laidback person.

9. If you choose... Lake: You are loyal to your friends and your love. And you are very reserved. Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.

10. This wish will come true only if you RE-POST THIS BULLETIN in one hour and it will come true before your next birthday

1 scary break up

One day, Sarah was walking home from school when her boyfriend drove by and honked at her to get in. She got in his car and he drove her to the lake. Her boyfriend said he was going to tell her something very important.

Sarah could have sworn he was going to propose. However, he flicked her off, pushed her in the lake and yelled, “I am breaking up with you, you awful bitch!! I hate you and I think that maybe you should just end your fucking life! DUMB BITCH!!!”

He laughed and drove off. It was a very cold day. Sarah climbed out of the lake, freezing cold, and feeling the worst she had in her entire life. She got home went in a hot bath, and slit her wrists and died in the bathtub.

Her parents yelled and screamed at her to get out until they finally broke the door down. They saw no body, but the entire bathroom was dripping with her blood. Her mom went insane and killed herself three days later, her dad is in prison, accused of murder.

Later that week, Sarah’s exboyfriend was taking a shower when she came from the drain, rotting and bloody, with a razor in her hand and said “Goodbye Jason.” She cut his throat before he could scream.

If you do not repost this with the title “1 scary way to break up”, you are a heartless bastard and Sarah come to you in the shower from the drain, and will kill you the same way she killed her boyfriend. 24 ppl have broken this chain and died

You have 13 minutes

If you think that is scary, this one is really scary...

YOU BETTER REPOST

FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS:

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.

BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.

BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.

BEST FRIENDS: Already have the shovel to bury the body of the person that made you cry.

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.

BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.

BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.

BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Can't catch me!"

FRIENDS: Will help you move.

BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was fucking awesome! Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.

BEST FRIENDS: Won’t tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.

BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Bitch drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!"

FRIENDS: Would read and ignore this.

BEST FRIENDS: Will re-post this shit!

What a Boyfriend SHOULD do:

When she walks away from you mad
Follow her

When she stares at your mouth
Kiss her

When she pushes you or hits you
Grab her and don't let go

When she starts cussing at you
Kiss her and tell her you love her

When she's quiet
Ask her whats wrong

When she ignores you
Give her your attention

When she pulls away
Pull her back

When you see her at her worst
Tell her she's beautiful

When you see her start crying
Just hold her and don't say a word

When you see her walking
Sneak up and hug her waist from behind

When she's scared
Protect her

When she lays her head on your shoulder
Tilt her head up and kiss her

When she steals your favorite hat
Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night

When she teases you
Tease her back and make her laugh

When she doesn't answer for a long time
Reassure her that everything is okay

When she looks at you with doubt
Back yourself up

When she says that she loves you
she really does more than you could understand

When she grabs at your hands
Hold hers and play with her fingers

When she bumps into you
bump into her back and make her laugh

When she tells you a secret
keep it safe and untold

When she looks at you in your eyes
don't look away until she does

When she misses you
she's hurting inside

When you break her heart
the pain never really goes away

When she says its over
she still wants you to be hers

When she repost this bulletin
she wants you to read it -

Stay on the phone with her even if she's not saying anything.-

When she says she's okay don't believe it, talk with her- because in10 yrs she'll remember you-

Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her-

Treat her like she's all that matters to you.-

Tease her and let her tease you back.-

Stay up all night with her when she's sick.-

Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid.-

Give her the world.-

Let her wear your clothes.-

When she's bored and sad, hang out with her.-

Let her know she's important.-

Kiss her in the pouring rain.-

When she runs up to you crying, the first thing you say is;
"Who's ass am I kicking?"

If you do post this in the next four minutes the one you love will :
Call you.
Kiss you.
Love you.
Text you

For People that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile (BOLD the ones you are)

I'm SKINNY so I MUST be anorexic.

I'm EMO so I MUST cut my wrists.

I'm NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.

I'm BLONDE so I MUST be a ditz.

I'm JAMACAN so I MUST smoke weed.

I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.

I'm AISAN so I MUST be sexy.

I'm JEWISH so I MUST be greedy.

I'm GAY so I MUST have AIDS.

I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST have a sex-tape.

I'm ARAB so I MUST be a terrorist.

I SPEAK MY MIND so I MUST be a bitch.

I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.

I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.

I'm RELIGIOUS so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.

I'm ATHIEST so I MUST hate the world.

I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.

I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.

I'm DEMOCRATE, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.

I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.

I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.

I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy

I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.

I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.

I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.

I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.

I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...

I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore

I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.

I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.

I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.

I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend

I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.

I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.

I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.

I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals

I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".

I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!

I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.

I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.

I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.

I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.

I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.

I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.

I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.

I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.

I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.

I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.

I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.

I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.

I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.

I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.

I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.

I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.

Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.

I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be a prude.

I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.

I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.

I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.

I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.

I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.

I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff

I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks

I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7

I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.

I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.

I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.

I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.

I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA

I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect

I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black

I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil

I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.

I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.

I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.

I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.

I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.

I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.

I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.

I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon

I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.

I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.

I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.

I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.

I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.

I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.

I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.

I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.

I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.

I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.

I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.

I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.

I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.

I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.

My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.

I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.

I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.

I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.

I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. So I MUST be a whore myself.

I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse

I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist

I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.

I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.

I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.

I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep

I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.

I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.

I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.

I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.

I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.

I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.

I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.

I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.

I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!

I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.

I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.

I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE.

I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser.

I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy.

I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.

I CHAT so I MUST be having cyber sex.

I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins

I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan

I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion

I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.

I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.

I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE. (I may be but they are in no way related to each other!!! btw Tangled was awesome ;))

I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.

I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.

I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.

I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.

I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.

I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.

I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED

I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish.

I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.

I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.

I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.

I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.

I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroos

I write LEMONS, so I MUST be a twisted pervert.

I wear GLASSES, so I MUST be a dork or nerd

I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times.

I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.

I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.

I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.

I like marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.

I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.

I'm friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.

I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.

I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist.

I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, them burst into tears at one mistake.

I DON"T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems.

16 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting " , I choose you!"

Repost this if you laughed...
Or are planning to do any of these things.

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty
uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal
pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a
rscheearch at CmabrigdeUinervtisy, it deosn't
mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the
olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer
be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl
mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed
ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling
was ipmorantt! tthas so cool!

If you could read that put it in your profile.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

If you are a rabid fan of Avatar: The Last Airbender, copy and paste this into your profile, or Ozai will GET YOU.

If you or your best friend is insane copy this into your profile.

If you think that Alec from the Mortal Instruments could totally beat Alec from Twilight in a fight, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you think that Magnus Bane would beat Albus Dumbledore, copy and paste this to your profile

If you realize that copying and pasting stuff into one's profile is completely pointless, yet do it anyway, copy and paste this into your profile.

To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. When caught sleeping at school/work/wherever you are not supposed to be sleeping, and you are woken up, shout, "AMEN!"

5.Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6.In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For Marijuana

7.Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'.

9. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11.Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'

18. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner,'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'

20 And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity

Copy and Paste this To Make People who read bios Smile.

Instructions: Put your ipod or music player on shuffle and the song that

pops up is the answer to each question:

What song describes me?
What I've done Linkin Park

How do I see myself?
Touchin on my 3OH!3

What is it like when you frustrated?
count on me Bruno Mars

How do I express myself?
Scream Scream Scream Ludo ((lol thats exactly what I do))

What do my friends really think of me?
Overdone Ludo ((Well thanks guys!))

How is my life going right now?
When you're gone Avril Lavigne

What will my life be like?
All about us He is We

How can I make myself happy?
Come out And play The offspring

What should I do with my life?
The bitch Song Bowling for soup

What is some good advice for me?
Elektra's complex

What is my favorite song?
Show me Bruno Mars

What is your thinking right now?
Why don't you get a job the offspring

What are you doing right now?
Runaway Baby Bruno Mars ((Hmm I thought I was using my computer...)

Do people secretly lust after me?
Anything for you Ludo

What type of men/women do I like?
Money Make her smile ((Damn it I'm into gold diggers!))

Will I get married?
Sulfer Slipnot

What would you sing to your significant other right now?
Tell Me a lie 1D

What is my signature dancing song?
Show Me Bruno MArs ((T-T again?))

What is my current theme song?
Roxy Ludo

How will I die?
Such as it ends Ludo

How will I be remembered?
Dirty little secret All American Rejects

What song will play at my funeral?
Moonshine B. Mars

What song will play at my wedding?
When I was your man (( Oh shit wedding crasher!!))

What song will play at my graduation?
Little things 1D

What kind of friends you have?
Magnetic Jessie J ((????))

What type of family you have?
Battle cry Ludo ((Yup.))

What is your broken heart song?
Please Ludo

What song will play when you falling in love at first sight?
Behind the sea Panic! at the disco

What song do you sing in your friend birthday party?
She had the world Panic! at the disco

What song will play when you go into your favorite club?
Hips Don't lie Shakira (( Looks Like I will be sexy))

What is my day going to be like?
Gone away The offspring

What will tomorrow bring?
Tresure B.Mars (YAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!))

How much am I worth?

Natural Hair Color:
] Brown - $100
] Blonde - $50
[ ] Black - $15
[ ] Bald - $5
[x ] Other - $75

Total: $75

Eye Color:
] Brown - $50
] Green - $75
[x ] Blue - $150
[ ] Hazel - $100
[ ] Other - $15

Total so far: $215

Height:
[ ] Over 7′ - $200
[ ] 6′8″ to 7′ - $175
[ ] 6′0″ to 6′7″ - $150
[ ] 5′5″ to 5′11″ - $75
[x] 5′4″ to 5′10″ - $85
] Under 5′4 - $0

Total so far: $300

Age:
[ ] 50 to 56 - $175
[ ] 46 to 50 - $150
[ ] 41 to 45 - $125
[ ] 31 to 40 - $100
[ ] 26 to 30 - $75
[ ] 21 to 25 - $50
[ ] 19 to 20 - $25
[X] 0 to 18 - $100

Total so far: $400

Birth Order:
] Twins or more than twins - $750
[ ] First born - $320
[ ] Only Child - $250
] Second born - $150-
[ ] Middle child - $100
[ x] Last Born - $100
[ ] Third born - $550
[ ] Fourth born - $300
[ ] Fifth born - $400
[ ] Sixth born -$215

Total so far: $500

Drink?
[ ] I did like once - $400
[ ] Only Holidays - $250
[ ] Sometimes - $215
[ ] YES - $200
[ ] Only weekends - $300
[ ] Every other day - $50
[ ] Once a day - $15
[ ] I live from the bottle - $Bankrupt$
[x] No - $600

Total so far: $1,100

Vision?
] perfect vision - $400
] need or have glasses/contacts but don’t wear them - $200
] No correction - $100
[x ] Glasses - $50
[ ] Contacts - $25
[ ] Surgical correction - $100

Total so far: $1,200

Shoe Size:
[ ] 13 - $300
[ ] 12 and a half to 13 - $250
[ ] 11 to 12 - $400
[x ] 7 to 10 - $50
[ ] Under 7- $450

Total so far: $1,250

Favorite Colors (multiple):
] Green - $750
] Red - $600
[x] Black - $100
[ ] Yellow -$475
[ ] Brown - $300
[x] Purple - $225
[ ] White - $400
[ ] Aqua - $350
] Orange - $300
[x ] Blue - $300
[ ] Pink - $100
] Other - $500

Total: $1,775

Did you use a calculator to add it all up?
[ ] Yes - $0
[x] Nope - add $1000
[ ] some - $750

Final Total: $2,775

My authentic japanese name is 松尾 Matsuo (tail of a pine tree) 美千子 Michiko (child of a thousand beauties).
Take your real japanese name generator! today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Name Generator Generator.

You are a Clueless Uke!

Having a good time is what you're all about. You're satisfied just to have someone to eat hamburgers and play video games with, and are completely oblivious to other's manipulative behavior. You don't expect much, and that can be a good thing. You're perfect prey for the Opportunist Seme, who might take advantage of you, but you probably won't even notice, or really care, as long as you're enjoying yourself.

Most compatible with: Opportunist Seme, Romantic Seme

Least compatible with: Sadistic Seme, Don't Fuck With Me Seme

What seme or uke are you? Take the experience at SemeUke.com, or get yaoi merchandise..

IF you're a Demigod copy this into your profile and sign your name Shorty/Kris KG/Lizzy Wisegirl101/Lindsay WiseOne27 SeaweedBrain013/Sebz CloudyAlore/Faye XxxBeLLxXxGiRlxxX76/Bells xXthe shadow huntressxX annapercy1 Hula The New Ace of Spies 7Cerberus7 Storyteller-221/Kali Lennor AthenaPersephone14 Laserfire Sammie.reader, Tori-HunterOfApolloWatchUrBack/HuntressOfTheSky13/ lightningismynewbestfriend/nikko daughter of hades/, SecretlyAngryMio

The Percy Jackson pledge:
I promise to remember Percy
whenever I'm at sea
I promise to remember Annabeth
whenever a spider comes at me
I promise to protect nature
for Grover's sake of course
I promise to remember Luke
when my heart fills with remorse
I promise to remember Chiron
whenever I see a sign that says ''free pony ride''
I promise to remember Tyson
whenever a friend says they'll stick by my side
I promise to remember Thalia
whenever a friend is scared of heights
I promise to remember Clarisse
whenever I see someone that gives me a fright
I promise to remember Bianca
whenever I see a sister scold her younger brother
I promise to remember Nico
whenever I see someone who doesnt get along with others
I promise to remember Zoe
whenever I watch the stars
I promise to remember Rachel
whenever a limo passes my car.
yes I promise to remember PJO
wherever I may go

You Know You’re Obsessed With Percy Jackson When…

You go to the Empire State Building and you ask for the 600th Floor.

There’s a thunderstorm going on and you scream, “CALM DOWN, ZEUS!”

Every time you use the Internet, you thank Hermes.

When you see Harry Potter, you think of Percy with glasses.

You burn food to see if it smells good.

You see an owl, you go, “Hi Athena!”

You’re in a running/swimming race and you’re praying and sacrificing to Hermes/Poseidon.

You think that your favorite singer is a child of Apollo.

Someone close to you dies and you give them money (LOTS of it) just in case…

Everyone else is creating a Twilight family and you create a PJO family.

You go on a cruise and you hope the boat isn’t The Princess Andromeda…

You’re on a boat and you pray that Poseidon is in a good mood.

You’re in the air (hang-gliding, cliff-diving, bungee jumping, flying, in a plane, etc.) and you hope Zeus is in a good mood and won’t blast you out of the air.

You go to Aunty Em’s and say you’re camera shy.

You find your true love and thank Aphrodite for sending him/her to you.

You think George Bush is a son of Ares (he’s dumb and violent you know!).

You know Muse is the best singers. Get it, the Nine Muses??

Bring a blue plastic hairbrush with you everywhere.

When it gets really cold randomly, blame Kronos.

You get a Greek mythology calendar for Christmas.

You get really mad at Hades when a family member dies.

You sometimes try to control water.

You don't read anything but PJO for 3 months.

You've gone to Google maps and looked up Camp Half-Blood’s address.

Even though not diagnosed, you claim you have ADHD or dyslexia and blame it
on your God parent.

You yell "Annabeth!" everytime you see a NY Yankees hat.

You make the PJO characters on Sims, as Miis on the Wii, and other video
games.

Anytime you see an orange shirt, you look at the front of it to see if it is
a Camp shirt.

You are a PJO character for Halloween.

Recite lines randomly from the books.

When you see/hear about anything myhtology-related, you talk about how it
was in PJO (what page, book, etc.) and what happened to it.

Buy anything New York or San Francisco-related.

You are going to the Camp Half-Blood in Texas.

You are suddenly obsessed with Adidas shoes because they have the Hermes
symbol.

You claim that Percy IS real and lives in New York no matter how much your friends argue with you.

You have dreams about PJO characters/events

You carry a ballpoint pen in your pocket.

That everytime you pick up a pen, you think it'll turn into a sword.

Everytime you play dodgeball, you bring a suit of armor.

You go to San Fransisco looking for the Old Sea Man.

You find yourself praying to Poseidon for rain.

Whenever your internet slows down, you yell at the sky and say "HERMES! WHY
DO YOU LOVE ANNOYING ME?!"

You stuff your (ahem) Harry Potter books in the back of your closet so you
have some more places for your PJ&O stuff.

When someone gets married, you say: "I hope you shall not anger Hera"

In the beginning of your first History class, you burst out "Will we be
studying Greek mythology?!"

You pretend (or actually) faint when someone asks "Who's Percy?"

When someone mentions the name Percy (like Percy Weasley) you scream
"JACKSON!"

When someone dies, you pray to Hades to allow them to go across Styx for
free, because they don't have drachmas anymore.

You are known to scream names of the characters at random times.

You've got any copy of any book in all your backpacks/binders incase of
emergencies

You pray to Athena when you don’t study for a math test.

And when you flunk said test, you blame her irritation on Percabeth.

When you steal your friend's pen you believe it's justified because your dad is the god of thieves, and you thought it was Riptide and had to check to make sure Percy was still alive.

You write PJO fanfiction constantly, even when you're not at your computer.

When your mom grounds you from the computer, you blame it on a combination of Nemesis, Hera and Hermes' little joke.

You want Hephaestus to fix your iPod when it breaks.

You give all your siblings god parents (Poseidon, Zeus, Hades.)

You call the "Ares kids", or school bullies, Martians.

You quiz fellow fans on the minor gods and win.

You spend time doing pointless research, just because Rick Riordan linked it on his site.

You still think Thuke could happen.(Nooooo!)

You plan several statements to avoid Apollo's lines and remember he's a player, should he ever hit on you, and several ways to get out of being cursed.

You imagine the gods alone, and what they really do on the Superbowl.

You think Percy's extended family needs extensive therapy.

You have a countdown to the Demigod Files because of the mention of Percabeth.

You want Kronos buried under Witchita, Kansas in a safe deposit toothpick box. No one will ever look there, and hopefully he'll be too tiny to bother the locals.

Your mother thinks you need to get a boyfriend, as does your father to cure your obsession.

You blame your little brother's desire to turn off your Internet in the middle of this review on Hermes' anger that you've joked about all of them.

You imagine random unwritten PJO moments during class and laugh. When one brave soul unaware of your obsession broaches the question of why you were laughing, you try to explain.

They think you are nuts because you are laughing at Hades' wild card of Nico.

You think of creative names for Percy besides Seaweed Brain, such as kelphead16 because his head is full of kelp and there's an 85 chance he'll die at the age of sixteen.

You wonder if you'll be able to drive a car come your 16, provided Percy saves the world, because of that.

You know you're obsessed when you lose something, and say, "Come on Hermes!
Give it back!!

You think all the popular girls at your school are children of Aphrodite. And say to all the braniacs at your school if Athena is okay. (Don’t hurt me Athena).

You go on YouTube and look at PJO themes for characters.(hehe, did that)

You read page 287 of BotL over and over again or say the lines in your head (Nico will Rule The World!)

Your internet homepage is Rick Riordan's blog.

You and your other PJO obsessed friend cracks up if any one mentions the word
Canada or Canadians.

You and your PJO obsessed friend start a fan club with only you two in it.

You get other people obsessed.

You have constant vivid dreams about the fifth book.

You spend most of your time thinking what will happen in the fifth book.

You jump up and down at the idea of LT becoming a movie.(Horrible! Wrong plot, wrong characters, name something that wasn't wrong!)

You know exactly what someone means when they say LT, SoM, TC, BotL, PJO and
use it in conversations.

Your favorite quote of all time comes from PJO.

You and your friend has "diss-wars" using PJO CHARACTERS

When someone dies, you give them a sack of red rubber balls for Cerberus. o

Every time you see a guy in a wheelchair you think "Chiron!!”

You find yourself saying things like "Oh my gods!" and "What the Hades?"

When your boyfriend dumps you, you take the oath of the hunters (not that I
have any experience.)

When you burn yourself, you curse Hephaestus/Hestia.

You put an offering to Demeter next to your garden.

You go up to a teacher in a wheelchair and say, "I know who you really are, Chiron…"

You say "Maia!" when you are wearing shoes.

You checked to make sure your principal doesn’t have a tail.

You know which pages the good parts are on.

You suddenly hate thunderstorms.

You start hearing Percabeth in every song you hear.

You started calling your dog Mrs. O’Leary.

You start figuring out who your godly parent is. (Apollo or Athena)

You never looked at a ballpoint pen the same way again.

You ask the cashier at the store if they stock Mythomagic cards.

You start doing pro/con lists in your head. During Math. When you’re supposed to be taking notes.

Each day you check every fan site you know of for new information.

You try to figure out how much food dye you need to turn chocolate chip cookies blue.(Four drops for every three cookies)

You make references to it in school reports and/or to friends that haven’t read it.

The first thing you ask someone when you meet them is, “Have you read PJO?”

You yell “Mizzenmast!” whenever you enter a boat.

You curse a god/goddess a lot. (I say, "Oh my Gods" and "What in Hades name are you doing?" and "What in Hades name am I doing" a lot)

You have one (Or more) pictures relating to PJO in your room

You know PJO better then most sane people

You have links to every great PJO site

You add things to the list every day

You know what you would do if you were Percy

You argue with your friends about if Nico should turn evil or not(No Way!)

At least half of your friends have read all the PJO, or are going to in the very near future.

You wish you could find a rainbow to see if Iris messages work(although i dont have a golden drachama)

You give friends and youself a godly parent,

You are trying to learn Greek.

You keep thinking about one of the PJO books when you go on a trip.(Are yu kidding, I bring them all with me!)

You think of percy every time you see a dark haried green-eyed boy.

You have an instant crush on Nico!You copy/paste this onto your profile.(obviously)

Most of your fics are PJO related, even if it is a cross over

You have taken every test you can find about what demigodly parent you would/do/should have, and your trying to get your friends to. (I got Apollo :D)

You just have to research more about greek mythology.(Alredy Have!)

You want to learn Latin.

You make sure all of your friends (Or most of them), have an idea about what you say when talking about PJO

Your friends (At least one), think you are obbsessed with PJO, and you agree.

You have one or more things related to PJO on your school stuff, and if someone asks you why, you tell them.

You have something on your school things (Or home things), that says 'Daughter (Or son if you're a guy) of God/goddess', and you don't even try to hide it, even if it says daughter of Name of unliked god.goddess

You’re nodding and smiling when you read this.

You own every single book.(duh)

You are planning on adding a lot more things to this list.

You call yourself a demigod.

You wish with every fibre of your being that the first page of The Lightning Theif told the truth, and the PJO series is real.

You find yourself praying to a random god when you didn't study for a math test because you were too busy reading PJO.

You've called someone you know a satyr.(they dont limp)

Please read-true story (not me)

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back.

The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.

The Cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll.'

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''

Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly.

The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.

Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

'It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas.

She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.'

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. 'No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.'

His eyes were so sad while saying this. 'My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: 'I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.'

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me 'I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me.'

'I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.'

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. 'Suppose we check
Again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

'OK' he said, 'I hope I do have enough.' I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: 'Thank you God for giving me enough money!'

Then he looked at me and added, 'I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!''

'I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''

'My mommy loves white roses.'

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.

I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started.

I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma.

Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine.

And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Now you have 2 choices:

1) Repost this message, or
2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart

If you have ever had a crush on a fictional character, copy and paste this on your profile and add your penname and the name(s) of the characters you have crushed on: HollyluvsArty (James Potter, Sirius Black (when he was young), Artemis Fowl)Pepper Lemon(Roshaun, Ronan) Second Daughter of Eve (Several, not telling.), Phish Tacko (Edward Cullen, Marty McFly), Hannahpie45(Chad Dylan Cooper, yeah I know, I know, eventually he'll be with Sonny :D but he is so HOT!), House of Anubis (Percy Jackson, Fabian Rutter, Ron Weasley, George Weasley, Harry Potter), Sammilovesbutterflies(Mick(from house of anubis),Apollo (XD from PJATO), Peeta(kinda), Fred Weasley), Kittykate1798 (Nico di Angelo from PJO) XxDarknessInsideMexX (Nico di Angelo from PJO, Chad Dylan Cooper from Sonny With a Chance/So Random!, Freddie from iCarly)nikko daughter of hades(Nico di Angelo hes soo sad and torn)SecretlyAngryMio (Percy, Jason, Nico, Leo, Frank, Augustus Waters, Harry Potter, Fred and George, Edward Cullen, Peeta, Gale, Adam, Naruto, Sasuke, Itachi, Kakashi, Minato, Kiba,Shikamaru, Choji, Neji, Shino, Lee, Sai, Obito, Deidara, Sasori, Gaara, Kankoru, Nagato, Yahiko, Kisame, Kabuto, Orochimaru, Genma, Raidou, Shikaku, Iruka, Jem, Jace, Will, Alec, MAgnus, Simon, Henry, Bat, Jordan, Raphael, Raziel, Valentine, Sebastion, Nathaniel, Charlie, Patrick, Guy, Ethan, Link, and many more.)

They were looking through peoples
MySpaces.

One girl named Zoey, whose house it was, slowly came upon this one
Myspace.

It had creatures in the background and the man
looked like a psycho.

She started laughing with her friend, Stacy, commenting on how ugly he was.

Right then, an instant message came up.

It said:

SatanStalker: So how do u like my
MySpace??

XxLoVeMexX: What??

XxLoVeMexX: Who is this anyway??

SatanStalker: Well, you should know;
you're looking at my MySpace right now.

XxLoVeMexX: How do you know that im looking at ur pro??

SatanStalker:I know when people look at my MySpace.

XxLoVeMexX: What? That doesnt make
any sense, how?

SatanStalker: I just do.

Satanstalker: Especially to pretty girls like you.

Satanstalker: With very nice legs I might say.

At the time, Zoey was wearing high
shorts.

She started to pull them down a little bit to cover what
ever she could. Her and her friend started to get
worried now.

XxLoVeMexX: Ok whatever man you're starting to scare the living hell out of me.

SatanStalker: You should be afraid.

SatanStalker: You wouldnt want an ugly guy like me touching your legs huh? I mean thats what you
just said about me with your friend like a
minute ago.

They were in shock.

Staxy: Holy crap man just block him
he's a f-ing psycho!

Zoey: Ok holy crap, you think he's
watching us?

SatanStalker: I am.

SatanStalker: Well it wouldnt really
matter if you blocked me anyway; it wouldnt stop me
from coming to your house.

XxLoVeMexX: What? My house?

SatanStalker: Yeah, youre alone so its
not a problem.

XxLoVeMexX: Ok I think Im going to leave now because youre freaking me out.

SatanStalker: Your screen name says
love me, trust me that wont be a problem.

SatanStalker has just signed off.

Zoey and Stacy were really
scared.

Stacy: Whatever lets just go upstairs trust me I doubt he's really coming. Its just a joke from someone.

They went upstairs and were having a pillow fight.

All of a sudden Stacy said she had to go to the bathroom. Zoey said ok.

Ten minutes later Zoey noticed that Stacy was
still in the bathroom and was wondering what was up.

She goes and knocks but no one said
anything.

She opens it and finds Stacy there on
the ground dead. She started to scream, but when she
turned around he was there. News the next morning said that there was one girl dead in the bathroom;

her neck sliced with blood all over the ground. with her head nailed to the wall. Just her head.

If you do not repost this in the next two
minutes there will be three men, one in your
bathroom,

one in your room, and one killing your parents at that
very moment.

Tonight at 1:30am. Well what are you waiting for?

Repost or you are going to die!

Did you know before you go to sleep at night there is one person of the opposite gender is thinking of you .They want to kiss you ,they want to be with you they are always thinking about you bfore they go to sleep at night they are longing to be with you. This is not at all fake if you post within 5 mins the person who is longing for you will approach you in 1 month and ask you out or grab you and kiss you . But if u break this chain no one will ask you out in 5 years.

3 kids met in kindergarton.

One was Matt. The second was a boy named Daniel. The third was a girl named Riley. They all promised to be friends and always hung out with each other. When they were in the 3rd grade they promised to always be there for each other. But then it changed. On the way to Sixth grade Matt and Daniel both had to move away leaving a very upset Riley. She cried at her best freinds leaving her. Matt moved to Califournia while Daniel moved to Missouri.

When she was 16 she just got dumped by her boyfreind so Riley was upset. She was on a bench in Central Park New York when a familiar boy came up.

"Why are you crying?" he asked. Riley was a bruntette girl, who could be considered hot. She had freckles and brown eyes. The boy also was a brunette, but he had green eyes. She thought he looked familiar.

"Why do you care?" She asked. He looked hurt by this.

"Well, i was just making sure you were ok." He asked with genuine concern in his eyes. Riley noticed this and looked at him.

"What's your name?" She asked.

"Daniel." he answered. She gasped.

"Daniel? It's me Riley." She was now crying in happiness. He looked shocked, then he hugged her.

"I promised i'd always be here for you." he said. She smiled.

"But Matt isn't." She was lookign at Daniel.

"But your wrong. He's moving back too. Next year he'll be back." Daniel hugged her again. Riley was happy and asked if he was doing anything. He just laughed.

"Except for roaming Central park then no." Then she told him of a really greta movie.

"Sure i'll go with you." And then they became best freinds. Daniel was always there for Riley when she needed him. When they were 20 Daniel asked Riley out. She agreed and they dated until they got married. Matt had come back a year after Daniel and started to date another girl. One day Riley asked why he came back.

"I made a promise. A promise i would keep."

If this story warms you heart then Copy and Paste it into your profile. If it doesn't then forget about it.

girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle

Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!

Guy: No, this is fun.

Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl: I love you, now slow down!

Guy: Now give me a big hug.

She gives him a big hug

Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.

In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died.

Boys are like trees-they take 50 years to grow up.

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you’re a mile away from them and you have their shoes.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

My mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash and it’s gone.

I'm the kind of girl who would fall flat on my face, get up, laugh my head off, and say " That was fun!

“Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.”

“An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.”

Life isn’t passing me by, it’s trying to run me over.

Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.

Was that an earthquake, or did I just rock your world?

My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

Secret admirers are stalkers with stationary.

Did you know Sarcasm is your body’s natural defense against stupidity?

Never knock on Death’s door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hate that.

Paper may beat rock, but cannon ball make big hole in paper.

The pen may be mightier than the sword, but my keyboard can crush your crummy pen!

Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out.

I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

Don’t follow me, I’m lost too.

This is Bob. Bob likes sharp things. I suggest you run from Bob.

Definition of Your Mom: How to answer a question when you’re bored

Definition of homework: Some form of crude mind control still used in some primitive areas.

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, and off the occasional cliff.

I’m not afraid of Death, what’s it gonna do kill me?

I’ll try to be nicer if you try to be smarter.

When life gives you lemons, chuck them at people you hate.

It doesn’t matter whether the glass is half empty or half full just drink it and get it over with.

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.

The world is full of crazy people. THEY MADE ME THEIR LEADER.

So what if we act like immature idiots? We’re having fun.

When French people swear do they say pardon my English?

Aren’t the ‘good things that come to those who wait’ just the leftovers from the people that got there first?

If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out”?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Isn’t it funny how the word ‘politics’ is made up of the words ‘poli’ meaning ‘many’ in Latin, and ‘tics’ as in ‘bloodsucking creatures’?

Why isn’t chocolate considered a vegetable, if chocolate comes from cocoa
beans, and all beans are a vegetable?

Life sucks and then you die.

Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are put into the loony bin?

Why is it when some products you have to turn it upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn upside down?

Why do people say, “You can’t have your cake and eat it too”? Why would someone get cake if they can’t eat it?

“When life hand you lemons, throw those lemons right back at it and tell life to make its own dang lemonade”

Don’t mess with me I’ve got a stick.

Darth Vader- "Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!"
Luke Skywalker- "Nah, the rebels have cake."
Darth Vader- "ooh! Can I be a rebel?!"

I smile because I have no idea what’s going on!

Life was so simple when boys had cooties

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends

Boys are like slinkies, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

I ran with scissors, and lived!

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

I’m the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n’ slide.

I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

I don’t obsess! I think intensely.

Of course I’m talking to myself. Who else can I trust?

Let me know if anything I say offends you, I might wanna offend you later.

One way to figure out how things work, push all the buttons!

When I am at Hogwarts I will not: Ask Harry if his scar senses are tingling

When I am at Hogwarts I will not: Sing “I’m Off to See the Wizard” when sent to the Headmasters office.

I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers.

All the good ones are gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies.

The greatest challenge in life is to find someone who knows all your flaws, differences, and mistakes, and yet still sees the best in you.

“When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.”

“Those who don’t learn from history are doomed to repeat it.”

“Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else”

“Real girls aren’t perfect, perfect girls aren’t real.”

“I’d rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I’m not.”

“What is easy is not always right, and what is right is not always easy.”

A recent survey stated that the average person’s greatest fear is having to give a speech in public. Somehow this ranked even higher than death which was third on the list. So, you’re telling me that at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and give a eulogy.

I’m not so good at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

Death is God’s way of saying “You’re fired.”
Suicide is Human’s way of saying “You can’t fire me- I quit!”

“He who stands on a windowsill to see how far out he can lean without falling is a moron.”

“If you know me, chances are you hate me.”

Shut up voices or I’ll poke you with a fork

If at first you don’t succeed skydiving isn’t for you.

Those who throw objects at crocodiles will be asked to retrieve them.

Set sail in a general that way direction.

It’s always the last place you look. Of course it is why would I keep looking after I’ve found it?

I’m sick of following my dreams, I’m just gonna ask where they're going and hook up with them later.

Do I have to spell it out for you or scream it in you face?

All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.

When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

Education is important, school however, is another matter.

Stupidity is not a crime so you’re free to go.

Excuse me... have you seen my sanity... I think I lost it

WHAT A KISS MEANS

Kiss on the stomach = "I'm ready"
Kiss on the Forehead = "I hope we're together forever"
Kiss on the Ear = "You're my everything"
Kiss on the Cheek = "We're friends"
Kiss on the Hand = "I adore you"
Kiss on the Neck = "we belong together"
Kiss on the Shoulder = "I want you"
Kiss on the Lips = "I love you"

What the gesture means...
Holding Hands = "We definitely love each other"
Slap on the Butt = "That's mine"
Holding on tight = "I don't want to let go"
Looking into each other's Eyes = "I just plain love you"
Playing with Hair = "Tell me you love me"
Arms around the Waist = "I love you too much to let go"
Laughing while Kissing = "I am completely comfortable with you"
picking someone up off their feet = "That they love them fully and would do anything for them"

Girl #1- I love Greek Mytholagy

Girl #2- I hate mytholagy

Girl #1- Do you like to learn?

Girl #2- Not really

Girl #1- Do you like school?

Girl #2- No.

Girl #1- Do you like to read?

Girl #2- Yes

Girl #1- Congrats your one step above moron, two steps above dumbass and one step below idiot. But your a hundred miles from smart and a thousand light years from genus.

Johnny brought a gun to school, He told his friends that it was cool, And when he pulled the trigger back, It shot with a great crack.

Mommy, I was a good girl, I did What I was told, I went to school, I got straight As', I even got the gold!

But Mommy, when I went to school that day, I never said goodbye, I'm sorry Mommy, I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry.

When Johnny shot the gun, He hit me and another, And all because Johnny, Got the gun from his older brother.

Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much, And please tell Chris; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush.

And tell my little sister; That she is the only now, And tell my dear sweet Grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now,

And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best, Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better then the rest.

Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class, And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass.

Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one deserves this, Mommy, warn the others, Mommy, I left without a kiss.

And Mommy, tell the doctors; I know they really did try, I think I even saw a doctor, Trying not to cry.

Mommy, I'm slowly dying, With a bullet in my chest, But Mommy, please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest.

Mommy, I ran as fast as I could, When I heard that crack, Mommy, listen to me if you would, I'm not coming back.

I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new, I guess I'm not going with Daddy; On that trip to the new zoo.

I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid, I wanted to be an actress, Mommy, I wanted to live.

But Mommy, I'm must go now, The time is getting late, Mommy tell my boyfriend, I'm sorry, but I had to cancel the date.

I love you Mommy, I always have, I know; you know it's true, And Mommy all I wanted to say is, "Mommy, I love you"

--In Memory Of The School Shootings-- If this poem touched you in any way, please pass it on. And even if it didn't, pass it on just for the memory of the innocent children

kissing is healthy.bananas are good for period pain.it's good to cry.chicken soup actually makes you feel better.94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers.lying is actually unhealthy.you really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes.it's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you.89 percent of guys want YOU to make the first move.it's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed.chocolate will make you feel better.most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing.a good friend never judges.a good foundation will hide all hickeys... not that you have any.boys aren't worth your tears.we all love surprises.Now... make a wish.Wish REALLY hard!!WISH WISH WISH WISHYour wish has just been recieved.Copy and Paste this into your profile in the next 15 minutes and...Your wish will be granted

Fear cannot touch me. It can only taunt me, it cannot take me away, just tell me where to go. I can either follow, or stay in my bed. I can hold on to the things that I know. The dead stay dead, they cannot walk. The shadows are darkness. And darkness can’t talk.’- Almost Here

PLEASE READ WHAT'S UNDER THIS!!

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.

Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it

There is nothing that duct tape or a gun can't fix even if it is

Children,

Politicians,

More children,

Annoying people,

Environmentalists,

Wounded people,

Shootings,

And idiots

If you read this through and thought I was funny or a jerk, please copy and paste this and add to the list.

Note to self x100

1. Do not introduce self as roleplaying character in public.

2. Do not talk to fictional characters in public.

3. Do not answer fictional characters in public.

4. Do not talk to inanimate objects in public.

5. Do not go out in public.

6. Disregard above note. Perform numbers 1 to 4.

7. Note expressions.

8. Don't die alone. Take many people with you.

9. Floor is slippery when wet.

10. Lake is slippery when dry.

11. Only talk to strangers you know.

12. Strangers you don't know are spies... Kill them all.

13. For legal purposes be sure to delete above note.

14. Tell people about the spies that are trying to kill you.

15. Kill them for security purposes.

16. Crying does not solve anything. Try violent mood swings.

17. Make a scene whenever humanly possible.

18. The men in white coats are not your friends.

19. Ask them for a room with lots of sharp, pointy objects.

20. When that doesn't work, ask for a designer jacket.

21. Chicken soup, although good for colds, is not the best cure for drowning.

22. Flammable and inflammable mean the same thing.

23. Unlike fine wine, milk does not get better with age.

24. Always remember, um... um... Damn.

25. Train army of flying monkeys.

26. Goldfish don't like milk.

27. Do not maim people. If you already have, kill them to avoid lawsuits.

28. Find out who invented the word "pianist".

29. People are staring at you.

30. So act insane.

31. People are weird, but not as weird as me.

32. Do not taunt animals at zoo. They have feelings... And teeth.

33. Little people are aggressive. Stay away from little people.

34. Going through other people's stuff is a bonding experiance. Do this as much as possible.

35. You'll sometimes notice shadows late at night. Don't worry. It's only me... Bonding.

36. Never pet a burning dog.

37. Never make eye contact with a naked man. Especially if you are wearing a parka.

38. Naked men dig parkas.

39. Beware the naked man who offers you his parka.

40. You know what would look good on you?

41. Immolated cockroaches.

42. Don't worry. It's only a harmless pimento bug.

43. The size of Danny DeVito.

44. Making an amusing facial expression. Like this.

45. Numbers are evil. Count in clovers.

46. Stalking is fun. Do it more.

47. Make a large sign saying, "Look at me, I'm a gumnut tree!"

48. No matter what anyone says, there is a way to get to your fantasy world.

49. That way is rum.

50. Constipated people don't give a shit.

52. You cannot kill the snow.

53. The snow can kill you.

54. Grass can also kill you.

55. The leprechaun on the cereal box said I can't get his lucky charms...

56. Catch and castrate leprechaun.

57. HE is real... No matter what the men in white coats say.

58. Staple paper in the middle of the page.

59. In case of blank looks, laugh maniacally.

60. You are not haxxor l337 or an uberhacker or anything like that.

61. Pretend to be so around teh n00bs.

62. Do not go out with voice #7. He is a sadistic, soul sucking demon.

63. Disregard last note. Go out with demon. Who needs a soul anyway?

64. Ask Senior Diablo for a bigger pitchfork.

65. Remember to kill HIM...

66. Tell the small children in Toys 'R' Us that the dolls have an insatiable thirst for blood.

67. Note reactions. Avoid parents.

68. The blood of infants gives unholy superpowers according to Jhonen C. Vasquez. Test theory.

69. Scream, the doctors don't like it, they'll give you a shot of something nice.

70. Hide the bodies, otherwise peole ask embarressing questions.

71. Eat the evidence.

72. But not if it's broken glass.

73. When in the presence of someone much wiser than you, point in a random direction and yell, "Look, a distraction!" Then run.

74. Do not tell children that Santa is fat because he eats kids.

75. Disregard last note.

76. Note reactions.

77. On average, 100 people choke to death on ball point pens every year.

78. Stock up on ball point pens.

79. Learn to fly. Tell no one.

80. The secret to flying is throwing yourself at the ground and missing.

81. Do not stick fingers into blender.

82. Blender... Bad... Ouch.

83. Blood loss is bad.

84. Find way to re-attatch fingers.

85. Scream as much as humanly possible at 2AM.

86. Answer every question with a question.

87. Ask people what gender they are.

88. Note reactions.

89. Refer to people as "mortal".

90. The Seagull From Hell is out to get me.

91. Kill all enemies in most disturbing way possible.

92. Start by drowning them in fire ants.

93. Find the creators of pop-up messages.

94. Kill them.

95. Brutally.

96. Teachers don't like finding notes on world domination.

97. Dunk head in boiling water.

98. Disregard last note. Was written by Voice #7.

99. Gullible IS written on the ceiling!

100. Investigate this whole "critical mass" thing when the klaxon dies down...

Copy and Paste this to your profile if you laughed at at least one of those. I know you did. =

This is really sweet...

When a girl is quiet, a million things are running through her mind.

When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply.

When a girl looks at you with her eyes full of question, she is wondering how long you will be around.

When a girl answers "I'm fine." after a few seconds, she is not fine at all.

When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are lying.

When a girl rests her head on your chest, she is wishing for you to be her's forever.

When a girl wants to see you everday, she wants to be pampered.

When a girl says "I love you." she means it.

When a girl says "I miss you." nobody could miss you more than that.

Life only comes around once, so make sure you spend it with the right person.

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, and calls you back when you hang up on him.

The guy who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead,

Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.

The one who holds your hand in front of his friends and is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you there for him.

The one who turns to his friends and declares "That's her."

If you read this, you have to repost it, guy or girl, or you will have bad luck for the rest of your life.

If you repost this, in five minutes your true love will call or message you.

Tonight at midnight, they will realize that they love you.

Something good will happen at approximately 1:42 pm tomorrow, and it could happen anywhere.

So get ready for the biggest shock of your life.

If you don't repost this, you will be cursed with relationship problems for all of eternity.

Quotes I like.

"Was that..." he trailed off, unable to finish his sentence, for fear that it was the truth.
"I believe they both just undid their pants." Shino smirked from the front.
"Let me out!" Kiba hollered, hitting the back of Shino's seat. "Let me out right now, Shino Aburame! Better yet, let them out! Have them walk home!"
"It's Naruto's house." Shino insisted with a smirk as Naruto's moaning grew louder in volume and Sasuke began to pant.
"I don't fucking care! Shino! Let me out!" - Blood and Tears by FastForward

"Nobody fucks with America. Nobody. Let freedom ring motherfuckers."-America :God Save America! by Shatterdoll

"I write for the same reason I breathe - because if I didn't, I would die." -Isaac Asimov

“Writing, to me, is simply thinking through my fingers.” Isaac Asimov

“A couple of months ago I had a dream, which I remember with the utmost clarity. (I don’t usually remember my dreams.)
I dreamed I had died and gone to Heaven. I looked about and knew where I was-green fields, fleecy clouds, perfumed air, and the distant, ravishing sound of the heavenly choir. And there was the recording angel smiling broadly at me in greeting.
I said, in wonder, “Is this Heaven?”
The recording angel said, “It is.”
I said (and on waking and remembering, I was proud of my integrity), “But there must be a mistake. I don’t belong here. I’m an atheist.”
“No mistake,” said the recording angel.
“But as an atheist how can I qualify?”
The recording angel said sternly, “We decide who qualifies. Not you.”
“I see,” I said. I looked about, pondered for a moment, then turned to the recording angel and asked, “Is there a typewriter here that I can use?”
The significance of the dream was clear to me. I felt Heaven to be the act of writing, and I have been in Heaven for over half a century and I have always known this.” Isaac Asimov

“If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn’t brood. I’d type a little faster.” Isaac Asimov

100 Rules:

of Anime

The laws of Anime is a growing list of physical, universal, and natural phenomenon that seem to appear in various forms in all sorts of anime. The original intent was an effort to classify these incidents into a list of "laws" that explained how Anime physics are different from our own (real?) world. It is our hope that you find them useful to studying Anime, or at the very least, worth a good chuckle.

#1 - Law of Metaphysical Irregularity- The normal laws of physics do not apply.

#2 - Law of Differential Gravitation- Whenever someone or something jumps, is thrown, or otherwise is rendered airborne, gravity is reduced by a factor of 4. Some things have been known to "Float" for a few seconds before plummeting to hit the ground, vehicle, or someone’s cranium.

#3 - Law of Sonic Amplification, First Law of Anime Acoustics- In space, loud sounds, like explosions, are even louder because there is no air to get in the way.

#4 - Law of Constant Thrust, First Law of Anime Motion- In space, constant thrust equals constant velocity.

#5 - Law of Mechanical Mobility, Second Law of Anime Motion- The larger a mechanical device is, the faster it moves, Armoured Mecha are the fastest objects known to human science.

#6 - Law of Temporal Variability- Time is not a constant. Time stops for the hero whenever he does something "cool" or "impressive". Time slows down when friends and lovers are being killed and speeds up whenever there is a fight.

#7 - First Law of Temporal Mortality- "Good Guys" and "Bad Guys" both die in one of two ways - either so quick they don’t even see it coming, OR it’s a long drawn out affair where the character gains much insight to the workings of society, human existence or why the toast always lands butter side down. NOTE: Sometimes, Anime heroes or villains never really die! In these rare cases they were a clone or cyborg and the real hero/villain’s suspiciously missing in "Malletspace", or something.

#8 - Second Law of Temporal Mortality- It takes some time for bad guys to die... regardless of physical damage. Even when the "Bad Guys" are killed so quickly they don’t even see it coming, it takes them a while to realize they are dead. This is attributed to the belief that being evil damages the Reality Lobe of the brain.

#9 - Law of Dramatic Emphasis- Scenes involving extreme amounts of action are depicted with either still frames or black screens with a slash of bright color (usually red or white).

#10- Law of Dramatic Multiplicity- Scenes that only happen once, for instance, a "Good Guy" kicks the "Bad Guy" in the face, are seen at least 3 times from 3 different angles.

#11- Law of Inherent Combustibility- Everything explodes. Everything. First Corollary- Anything that explodes bulges first. Second Corollary- Large cities are the most explosive substances known to human science. Tokyo in particular seems to be the most unstable of these cities, sometimes referred to as "The Matchstick City".

#12- Law of Phlogistatic Emission- Nearly all things emit light from fatal wounds.

#13- Law of Energetic Emission- There is always an energy build up (commonly referred to as an energy "bulge") before Mecha or space craft weapons fire. Because of the explosive qualities of weapons, it is believed that this is related to the Law of Inherent Combustibility.

#14- Law of Inverse Lethal Magnitude- The destructive potential of any object/organism is inversely proportional to its mass. First Corollary- Small and cute will always overcome big and ugly. Also known as the A-Ko phenomenon.

#15- Law of Inexhaustibility- No one EVER runs out of ammunition. That is of course unless they are cornered, out-numbered, out-classed, and unconscious.

#16- Laws of Inverse Accuracy- The accuracy of a "Good Guy" when operating any form of firearm increases as the difficulty of the shot increases. The accuracy of the "Bad Guys" when operating firearms decreases when the difficulty of the shot decreases. (Also known as the Stormtrooper Effect) Example: A "Good Guy" in a drunken stupor being held upside down from a moving vehicle will always hit, and several battalions of "Bad Guys" firing on a "Good Guy" standing alone in the middle of an open field will always miss. First Corollary- The more "Bad Guys" there are, the less likely they will hit anyone or do any real damage. Second Corollary- Whenever a "Good Guy" is faced with insurmountable odds, the "Bad Guys" line up in neat rows, allowing the hero to take them all out with a single burst of automatic fire and then escape. Third Corollary- Whenever a "Good Guy" is actually hit by enemy fire, it is in a designated "Good Guy Area", usually a flesh wound in the shoulder or arm, which restricts the "Good Guy" from doing anything more strenuous than driving, firing weaponry, using melee weapons, operating heavy machinery, or doing complex martial arts maneuvers. Fourth Corollary- The more times the "Bad Guy" fires, the fewer times he will hit.

#17- Law of Transient Romantic Unreliability- Minimei is a bimbo. (Note: The Minority Opposition in Ohio disagrees and thinks all men who like this stuff needs to get out more.)

#18- Law of Hemoglobin Capacity- the human body contains over 12 gallons of blood, sometimes more, under high pressure.

#19- Law of Demonic Consistency- Demons and other supernatural creatures have at least three eyes, loads of fangs, tend to be yellow-green or brown, but black is not unknown, and can only be hurt by bladed weapons. Also, acid has been known to work just as well...

#20- Law of Militaristic Unreliability- Huge galaxy-wide armadas, entire armies, and large war machines full of cruel, heartless, bloodthirsty warriors can be stopped and defeated with a single insignificant example of a caring/loving emotion or a song. First Corollary- Whenever a single war machine (mecha, starship, etc.) goes up against an entire army, the army always loses.

#21- Law of Tactical Unreliability- Tactical geniuses aren’t...

#22 -Law of Inconsequential Undetectability- People never notice the little things... like missing body parts, or wounds the size of Seattle.

#23- Law of Juvenile Intellectuality- Children are smarter than adults. And almost twice as annoying.

#24- Law of Americanthromorphism- Americans in Anime appear in one of two roles, either as a really nasty skinny "Bad Guy" or a big stupid "Good Guy". First Corollary- The only people who are more stupid than the big dumb Americans are the American translators. (Sometimes referred to as the Green Line Effect) Second Corollary- The only people who are more stupid than the American translators are the American editors and censors. Third Corollary- Canadians are usually portrayed as smart, strong, handsome "Good Guys".

#25- Law of Mandibular Proportionality- The size of a person’s mouth is directly proportional to the volume at which they are speaking or eating.

#26- Law of Feline Mutation- Any half-cat/half-human mutation will invariably: 1) be female. 2) will possess ears and sometimes a tail as a genetic mutation. 3) wear as little clothing as possible, if any.

#27- Law of Conservation of Firepower- Any powerful weapon capable of destroying/defeating an opponent in a single shot will invariably be reserved and used as a last resort.

#28- Law of Technological User-Benevolence- The formal training required to operate a spaceship or mecha is inversely proportional to its complexity.

#29- Law of Melee Luminescence- Any being displaying extremely high levels of martial arts prowess and/or violent emotions emits light in the form of a glowing aura. This aura is usually blue for "Good Guys" and red for "Bad Guys". This is attributed to Good being higher in the electromagnetic spectrum than Evil.

#30- Law of Non-Anthropomorphic Antagonism- All ugly, non-humanoid alien races are hostile, and usually hell-bent on destroying humanity for some obscure reason.

#31- Law of Follicular Chromatic Variability- Any color in the visible spectrum is considered a natural hair color. This color can change without warning or explanation.

#32- Law of Follicular Permanence- Hair in anime is pretty much indestructible, and can resist any amount of meteorological conditions, energy emissions, physical abuse, or explosive effects and still look perfect. The only way to hurt someone’s hair is the same way you deal with demons... with bladed weapons!

#34- Law of Probable Attire- Clothing in anime follows certain predictable guidelines: Female characters wear as little clothing as possible, regardless of whether it is socially or meteorologically appropriate. Any female with an excessive amount of clothing will invariably have her clothes ripped to shreds or torn off somehow. If there is no opportunity to tear off aforementioned female’s clothes, then she will inexplicably take a shower for no apparent reason (also known as the Gratuitous Shower Scene). Whenever there is a headwind, Male characters invariably wear long cloaks that don’t hamper movement and billow out dramatically behind them. First Corollary (Cryo-Adaptability)- All anime characters are resistant to extremely cold temperatures, and do not need to wear heavy or warm clothing in snow. Second Corollary (Indecent Invulnerability)- Bikinis render the wearer invulnerable to any form of damage. Third Corollary (Probable Attire permanence)- The clothing on the hero is indestructible. Their capes, robes, (and if they are girls,) skirts, dresses, bows, or any loose clothing will just flap when they are in the middle of a fire or ice attack... Unless it's a hentai. It is believed that the clothes are made out of Anime Character hair. (re. Laws 32 & 48)

#35- Law of Musical Omnipotence- Any character capable of musical talent (singing, playing an instrument, etc. Is automatically capable of doing much more "simple" things, like piloting mecha, fighting crime, stopping an intergalactic war, and so on... especially if they’ve never attempted these things before.

#36- Law of Quintupular Agglutination- Also called "The Five-man Rule", when "Good Guys" group together, it tends to be in groups of five. There are five basic positions, which are: 1) The Hero/Leader 2) His Girlfriend 3) His Best Friend/Rival 4) A Hulking Brute 5) A Dwarf/Kid Between these basic positions are distributed several attributes, which include: 1) Extreme Coolness 2) Amazing Intelligence 3) Incredible Irritation

#37- Law of Extradimensional Capacitance- All anime females have an extrasdimensional storage space of variable volume somewhere on their person from which they can instantly retrieve any object at a moment’s notice. This mysterious dimension is commonly called "Malletspace". First Corollary (AKA The Hammer Rule)- The most common item stored is a heavy mallet, costumes/uniforms, power suits/armor, and large bazookas.

#38- Law of Hydrostatic Emission- Eyes tend to be rather large in Anime. This is because they contain several gallons of water, which may be instantaneously released at high pressure through large tear ducts. The actual volume of water contained in the eyes is unknown, as there is no evidence to suggest that these reservoirs are actually capable of running out. The reason water tends to collect in the eyes is because Anime characters only have one large sweat gland, which is located at the back of the head. When extremely stressed , embarrassed, or worried, this sweat gland exudes a single but very large drop of sebaceous fluid.

#39- Law of Inverse Attraction- Success at finding suitable mates is inversely proportionate to how desperately you want to be successful. The more you want, the less you get and vice-versa. First Corollary- Unfortunately, this law seems to apply to Otaku in the real world...

#40- Law of Nasal Sanguination- When sexually aroused, males in Anime don’t get erections, they get nosebleeds. No one’s sure why this is, though... the current theory suggests that larger eyes means smaller sinuses and thinner sinus tissue (see Law #38 above). Females don’t get nosebleeds, but invariably get one heck of a blush along the cheeks and across the nose, suggesting a lot of bloodflow to that region.

#41- Law of Xylolaceration- Wooden or bamboo swords are just as sharp as metal swords, if not sharper.

#42- Law of Juvenile Omnipotence- Always send a boy to do a man’s job. He’ll get it done in half the time and twice the angst.

#43- Law of Triscaquadrodecophobia- There is no Law #43.

#44- Law of Nominative Clamovocation- the likelihood of success and damage done by a martial arts attack is directly proportional to the volume at which the full name of the attack is announced (known as the Kamehameha effect).

#45- Law of Uninteruptable Metamorphosis- Regardless of how long or involved the transformation sequence or how many times they’ve seen it before, any "Bad Guys" witnessing a mecha/hero/heroine transforming are too stunned to do anything to interrupt it.

#46- Law of Flimsy Incognition- Simply changing into a costume or wearing a teensy mask can make you utterly unrecognizable to even your closest friends and relatives.

#47- Law of Mandibular Combustible Emission- All anime characters seem to have some unknown chemical on their breath that reacts VERY violently with extremely hot or spicy food. This chemical may also be responsible for the phenomenon of fire behind the eyes and from the mouth when a character (usually a female) is really angry.

#48- Law of Electrical and Combustible Survivalism- If you get electrocuted or burned, YOU WILL SURVIVE!! Though your entire body will be scorched, seconds later, your skin won’t have a trace of damage (Also known as the "Pikachu Effect"). First Corollary- When a magical bad guy/Alien/monster fires off a flame, wind, or ice attack, the resulting effect is only enough for the hero(es)/heroine(s) to be standing in the "Walking Against the Wind" stance, with his/her eyes shut and letting out a pathetic "Aaaaagh!", and yet they are never harmed. This may be in part to laws 32, 34 and sometimes 44.

#49- Law of Female wrath- If a male character insults a female character, he will get a mallet, shotgun, or tank blast, or if she is a character that can perform magical feats, a fireball or whatever, to the head, body or whatever (Also known as the "Lina Inverse/Gourry Factor") This is because he always deserves it, and will help him to cope in today’s society. (Sniff Sniff

#50- Law of Artistic Perversion- Most (not all) Anime artists are perverts and are under the impression that girls are willing to tear off their clothes, or wear VERY small, revealing outfits at the drop of a pin (or pen for that matter). Unfortunately, most Hentai fans are under the same impression.

#51- Law of Uninteruptable Nominative Clamovocation- This law is a mixture of Laws 44 and 45. Regardless of how long or involved the Spell or projectile attack is, and the likelihood of success and damage done by the volume at which the full name of the attack is announced, or how many times they’ve seen it before, any "Bad Guys" witnessing a hero/heroine quoting the incantations for an extremely powerful attack are too stunned to do anything to interrupt it. (Also known as the "Dragon Slave Phenomenon")

52- Law of Telepathic Obliviousness- Most of the time, some Anime characters (usually males) will think personal (Like that he/she has sabotaged something), or perverted thoughts, while near some other character, WHO’S TELEPATHIC!! The reasons for this are: 1) They forgot that the person is telepathic. 2) They just don’t give a damn. The reasons the telepathic person doesn’t react are: 1) They’re preoccupied with doing something else. 2) They’d rather keep the fact to themselves that they are Telepathic. 3) They just don’t give a damn.

#53- Law of Chromatic Diversity- Air can be any color of the viewable spectrum.

#54- Law of Old Man Comic Relief- Comic relief comes in the form of a short, bald, wise-mouthed dirty old man or alien. Or the combination of any two of those traits. First Corollary- If old man is present, and is acting too horny, stupid, etc., there will invariably be an old woman to whap him over the head with a frying pan or something.

#55- Law of the Wise Old Man- Little old Japanese men always know how it ends and withhold the ending from anyone, especially the hero. This includes special power weapons, ancient relics, and people who know everything.

#56- Law of Omnipotent Unreliability- Any "Bad Guy" with Omnipotent powers/weapons will never use those powers/weapons against the "Good Guy" until it is too late. First Corollary- All "Bad Guys" suffer from Antagonistic Boasting Syndrome which require all "Bad Guys" to threaten with or exemplify their prowess and not use it against the "Good Guy". Second Corollary- No "Bad Guy" may use any new, secret, or superior military device without one of the following events occurring: a) The control device being broken. The control device being taken by the "Good Guy". c) The control device is in fact not the real device at all and was just "fooled" by the "Good Guy". d) The "Bad Guy" has already lost and cannot use the device.

#57- Law of Minimum Corneal Volume- Eyeballs may make up no less than one sixth of the face’s total surface area. More so if the case is a blonde woman.

#58- Law of Electrical Charges in Hair- Hair attracts electricity in abundance, resulting in two outcomes: a) A positive charge will result in the spikes-flying-everywhere-behind-me look. A negative charge will result in the hair-cascading-down-to-the-waist-in-a-single-sheet look.

#59- Law of Ammunition Accuracy- When there are multiple types of ammunition available (paintballs, speaker pods), non-lethal rounds will always be more accurate when compared to "standard" or lethal shots. (Macross Plus for paintballs, Macross 7 for speaker pods)

#60- Law of Active Female Attraction- In a comedy series, a male character’s attractiveness to women is inversely proportional to how active they pursue them. (Tenchi, Ranma, and Makoto OVA have a seemingly endless supply of willing girlfriends despite their lack of romantic skill while Happosai, Ataru, and Carrot couldn’t get a date despite or because of their constant attempts.)

#61- Law of Sweat Pore Variability- When a person is embarrassed, caught in an awkward situation, or otherwise humiliated, all sweat pores on the body contract, except for ones on the forehead. These pores expand to such a degree that a single drop could fill a Big Gulp from 7-11.

#62- The Law of Inverse Training Time- A person who has been training for 3 years is never as good as someone who has been training for one month.

#63- Law of Needs to Few and Many- The needs of the many, outweigh the needs of the few... of even the one.

#64- Law of Bad Humor- Whenever someone says something that is intended to be funny, whether actually funny or not, the rest of the characters (even animals) fall to the ground with their feet in the air. Sweat sometimes accompanies the fall. (The sound of a cow mooing usually accompanies the joke as well.)

#65- Law of Extreme Anger- Whenever a female character gets mad, such as seeing the male character with another girl, she becomes extremely strong (despite her usually helpless look) so that she can lift a 1000 ton object to hurt the guy. She can sometimes perform other punishments that are just as cruel such as pinching the guy’s face so hard that it changes shape. (see law #49)

#66- Law of Differentiated Gravitation- First Corollary- If the airborne entity exceeds an altitude equal or greater than two times the height of the entity, gravity is decreased by an inverse coefficient relative to the upward momentum and mass/weight (if within at least 500 km of any gravity source) of the entity "jumping". Second Corollary- The amount of Newtonian "opposite force" (in accordance to normal downward velocity; "Earth gravity" speed is equal to 32ft/sec/sec) is also inversely proportional to the "actual" speed of the airborne entity. In all actuality, an entity that appears to be flying towards a solid concrete parking lot from space will actually land, producing an opposite force of approximately 1.73 lb. of pressure. Unless this particular entity is a "Bad Guy". Then the law exhibits a mysterious exponentially proportional Newtonian opposite force, thusly increasing this variable by a factor equal to the inverse-gravity potential.

#67- Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension- In any situation where the Ambient Dramatic Tension increases, the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient must be increased by a proportional amount to compensate. In any situation where this does not happen, the "Bad Guy" inevitably comes out on top. However, this usually leads to a further rise in the Ambient Dramatic tension, which will always be offset by an exponential increase in the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient.

#68- Law of Coercive Vehicular Control- No matter how complex or well defined the control system, a character controlling a vehicle of any sort always does so through means of undetectable subconscious psychokinesis. First Corollary- Characters can perform actions with their vehicles which clearly defy normal physics (see Laws of Metaphysical Irregularity and Constant Thrust). The velocity, attitude and traction of the vehicle appear to be adjusted at will, with the degree of absolute control being proportional to the complexity and lethality of the maneuver. Second Corollary- It is effectively impossible to remove characters from or disrupt the passage of their vehicles without the character’s consent. This does not always apply to "Bad Guy" characters, or "Good Guy" characters in situations where the Ambient Dramatic Tension could increase in accordance with the Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension.

#69- Amendment to the Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension- In any situation where the Ambient Dramatic Tension increases without a corresponding increase in the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient, not only does the "Bad Guy" usually come out on top, but also his Smugness Factor increases in proportion to the rise in Ambient Dramatic Tension.

#70- Law of The Rushing Background Effect- Whenever something dramatic occurs, a survival instinct engages, thus rendering all incoming stimulus that is not directly and immediately to the dramatic situation at hand a meaningless blur. This is often referred to as "The Rushing Background Effect". Due to the increase in brain activity and adrenaline levels in the bloodstream, the scene is often played out in slow motion.

#71- Law of Interdimensional Hammers- Whenever a female character witnesses a male character of her preference performing any sort of questionable act (i.e. Looking at another girl or anything she might construe as perverted) she can reach into an interdimensional realm (usually behind her back) and withdraw a huge Anime Mallet of Doom with which to whack the said male over the head with. (see Laws # 37, 49, and 65)

#72- Law of Instant Band-Aids- Whenever a character is injured (usually in a head shot, maybe from a mallet whack) Band-Aids will always instantly appear on the wounded individual (and always in pairs, set in a cross fashion). These bandages will then, most likely, disappear by the character’s next scene.

#73- Law of Universal Edge Defense- Any projectile attack, from a blast of magic to a hail of bullets, can be easily defended against by holding a suitably cool-looking sword or other bladed weapon between the attacker and defender, usually so that the edge cuts into the incoming attack(s), causing both halves to go flying harmlessly past the defender. Observed most often in fantasy and martial arts anime.

#74- Law of Intractable Sanity- There is no such thing as insanity in anime. When faced with horrifying supernatural forces that would drive most men mad, anime characters will either: a) Die quickly (but in accordance with all other laws e.g., slowdown and exposition), Get possessed by them, especially if they are beautiful girls or men in a position to ravish beautiful girls, or c) Kill them, wipe the blood off their blades, and walk on whistling.

#75- Law of Celestial Body Control- At a dramatically correct moment, a hero can summon a sun/moon/halo to appear behind him/her to cause a dramatic silhouette.

#76- Law of Aura of Forgetfulness- Any hero who wishes his/her identity to remain a secret will invariably succeed regardless of disguise because everyone around him/her will forget everything. Otherwise, how does Sailor Moon keep her disguise?

#77- Law of Cool Hair Factor- The hair of a hero will always coalesce into thick strands that drape his face into a dramatic fashion, regardless of wind, the elements, etc. (see Laws 32 & 48)

#78- Law of Inverse Coping- Any single event will happen to the ONE character LEAST capable of dealing with it.

#79- Law of Martial Arts Training Invulnerability- The Myth that certain martial arts will enable you to become so strong, that you can stop a nuclear warhead with your bare palm. Unfortunately, for most otaku, they found the hard way that it just doesn’t work in real life...

#80- Law of Stereotype Captain characteristics- If a captain of any type of ship is male, he will invariably wear a big captain’s cap, a long overcoat, and have a shaggy beard and mustache (pipe optional), and be a great tactician. If the captain is female, however, she will invariably be young, well endowed, and ditzy as a pole (horny father optional). Yet, she too will be a great tactician.

#81- Law of Shades/Coolness Factor- Shades can make you instantly cool, even if you’re normally a klutz.

#82- Law of Hentai Plot- The proper response to any change in the plotline of a Hentai anime is to start having sex.

#83- Law of Understatement- Anything that is deemed too impossible will become possible. First Corollary- Any "Bad Guy" stating "T-that’s impossible!" whenever the hero is accomplishing some new feat/move/projectile will find out too late that he is wrong and will invariably be toastied.

#84- Law of Dormant Powers- Anytime a hero is somehow outpowered and/or outclassed by the villain, he will invariably release powers/new moves he never knew he could accomplish... but his old teacher did!

#85- Law of Style Coefficient- In a situation where a Good guy may be in dire straits, he will become stronger, smarter and more cool in a matter of seconds. (see Laws #67, 69, and 84)

#86- Law of Bad Guy Smugness Factor- Whenever the villain actually succeeds in beating the hero, they will begin to gloat uncontrollably, because they’ve never won against the "Good Guy" (because they’re Eeeviiil!!). They usually get so cocky, they tie the hero to a conveyor belt leading to his doom and leave to get a snack. Usually this results in: a) The hero escaping. Clean-up for the underlings. c) The villain getting toastied.

#87- Law of Tableware Nonexistence- There IS no spoon.

#88- Law of Goofy Turn-Ons- In Hentai, ordinary , pedestrian objects sometimes have the magical power of either inducing orgasm or arousal. Some include warm water, rolling on a smooth tabletop, wind, mild electrocution, the character toweling themselves after a bath/shower, and very cold objects... like bottles of 7-up.

#89- Law of Penile Variance- All Anime men in Hentai have a ridiculously large penis (lengths of 8, 9, 10 and 11 inches are most common). Some even have ones the size of telephone poles, despite the blood loss that would accompany it...

#90-Law of Hentai Female Characteristics- All Hentai women have the following characteristics: 1) Very sensitive and/or very large breasts with large nipples. 2) Very tight and/or sensitive vaginas.

#91- Law of Vaginal Variance- Hentai Anime women can take penis lengths of 8" and up... completely... despite the fact that they might have a tight and/or sensitive vagina.

#92- Law of Hero Identification- All heroes are introduced by way of appearance while someone talking about their (in)famous-ness, or by way of a voice-over of them introducing themselves.

#93- Law of Cute Mascots- Any anime either Shojo or Shonen has GOT to have at least one cute, furry little mascot by penalty of death! First Corollary- If it is a Shonen Anime, the hero will be accompanied by a Dog, Cat or any kind of animal, real or fake, that would be found with a hero of the male persuasion. Any animal that would be associated with girls that is following him around is there because: 1) It’s his girlfriend’s. 2) It is following him, despite his insistence not to do so. 3) Chicks will dig him more. Second Corollary- If it is a Shojo Anime, the heroine will be accompanied by a cat, cute lil’ mouse, or some disgustingly cute monster, or any kind of animal, real or fake, that would be found with a hero of the female persuasion. Any animal that would be associated with guys that is following her around is there because: 1) It’s her boyfriend’s. 2) It is following her, despite her insistence not to do so. 3) It makes her look cool.

#94- Law of The Force- Most Anime heroes are blessed with a unique sort of ability that enables bad things to happen to those that deserve it or makes things like bullets or debris totally miss them (Also referred to as "Dumb Luck"), even though they are mostly unaware of it. Those who have this ability include Vash the Stampede, Captain Justy Ueki Tylor, and Jar Jar Binks.

#95- Law of Naughty Tentacles- All Anime Tentacles are VERY horny and will rape any human female, regardless of age ("She’s 18! No! Really, she is! I’m not lying!...") First Corollary- Even when raped or molested by tentacles, Hentai Anime girls eventually get into it & begin squealing in ecstasy. NO one knows WHY this is, but some theorize there may be some kind of chemical that is secreted through the skin of the tentacle... Second Corollary- Women who are impregnated by a tentacle creature never experience morning sickness, and also find it to be intensely pleasurable (Also known as the Goofy Meter Redline Effect). Third Corollary- Similarly, the resulting... offspring of tentacle/human relations is immediately sexually active, often impregnating its own mother again.

#96- Law of Cat-Fighting- Two females with a grudge can and will go at each other, sometimes ripping off clothes. Sometimes it escalates so much, that property damage begins to occur. First Corollary- A running fight can be so destructive, you can follow it from a distance just by watching for the smoke. (Also known as the "A-ko/B-ko Thing")

#97- Law of Healing- Most anime heroes have a Wolverine-like healing factor that enables them to regenerate from a massive wound or broken bone within minutes. Being immortal sometimes helps. (Also known as the "Priss Effect".)

#98- Law of Stereotype Crew Characteristics- All ships, either waterborne or spaceborne, have the following crew members: 1) The captain 2) His Lieutenant 3) Various female technical staff 4) A hotshot pilot 5) A cute little girl/twins (either stowaways or not) 6) The Doctor 7) The Doctor’s assistant (either a spy or not) Weighted among the crew are various quirks which include: 1) Extreme coolness/luck 2) Amazing Intelligence 3) Incredible irritation 4) Extreme cuteness 5) Irresponsible drunkenness 6) Homophobicness 7) Emotionless (Idiots.)

#99- Law of Sparklies- Whenever a character of the main character’s interest appears, flowers, sparkles, or abstract circles of pastel colors appear around said character, or both. Roses with exaggerated thorns appear when it is dangerous love. No one knows why this is, though most have a theory: Anime characters are freaks! At least, Marker Apenname seems to think so...

#100- Law of Anime Events- Much like wrestling, anything and everything can happen.

" Life is a song - sing it. Life is a game - play it. Life is a challenge - meet it. Life is a dream - realize it. Life is a sacrifice - offer it. Life is love - enjoy it. " - Don't know who by, but loved the quote nonetheless.

"Survival can be summed up in three words - never give up. That's the heart of it really. Just keep trying."

"I am not a product of my circumstances. I am a product of my decisions." Stephen R

"Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring."

Yaoi Anthem created by peeps.

I can't think of anything better, than guys getting sweatier

Feel the cuteness, oh yeah, feel that adorablenessss

We can't get enoughhhhh

Reach out for your kind

We have the same mind

Starfighter is totally hot,

To all those that says its not, shut up,

Blushing ukes and strong semes

What more could I want,

a cute pairing

and a happy ending

Junjou Romantica is totally sweet

Yaoi just can't be beat

Oh woe, feel that passion,

The ever so wonderful compassion of that lasting kiss,

How could you miss?

Its totes all fluffy,

Ever so lovely,

All join in hands,

As we head to the land of sexy guys!

My oh my,

Secret love

Groping butts,

Yaoi's got all the good stuff

Shy guys and romantic dates

Teashouse is super great

Reading yaoi everyday,

It's addicting, super cute,

You see my dear ladies,

Gents are quite the best,

Do not dare detest,

For Yaoi simply sexier than the rest,

"I wanna tell sweet stories to everyone who wishes to have sweet dreams"

OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE:

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered for having cultivated such valuable lessons as: knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life isn't always fair, and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion, or a band-aid to a student, but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband, churches became businesses, and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents Truth and Trust, his wife Discretion, his daughter Responsibility, and his son Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

Stupid Racist People...

A black man walks into a cafe one early morning and noticed that he was the only black man there. As he sat down, he noticed a white man behind him.
The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here."
The black man turned around and stood up. He then said:
"When I was born I was black,"
"When I grew up I was black,"
"When I'm sick I'm black,"
"When I go in the sun I'm black,"
"When I'm cold I'm black,"
"When I die I'll be black."
"But you sir..."
"When you're born you're pink,"
"When you grow up you're white,"
"When you're sick, you're green,"
"When you go in the sun you turn red,"
"When you're cold you turn blue,"
"And when you die you turn purple."
"And yet you have the nerve to call me colored"
The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...

Copy this onto your site and help stop racism!

The Situation in Hell

The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I go out with you", and take into account the fact that I went out with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct . . . leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A."

7 reasons not to mess with kids

Reason 1 A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, “When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah.” The teacher asked, ” What if Jonah went to hell?” The little girl replied, “Then you ask him”.

Reason 2 A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child’s work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, “I’m drawing God.” The teacher paused and said, “But no one knows what God looks like.” Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, “They will in a minute.”

Reason 3 A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year old After explaining the commandment to “honor” thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, “Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?” Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, “Thou shall not kill.”

Reason 4 One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, “Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?” Her mother replied, “Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.” The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, “Momma, how come ALL of grandma’s hairs are white?”

Reason 5 The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. “Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, ‘There’s Jennifer, she’s a lawyer,’ or ‘That’s Michael, he’s a doctor.’ A small voice at the back of the room rang out,”And there’s the teacher, she’s dead. ”

Reason 6 A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, “Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face..” “Yes,” the class said. “Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn’t run into my feet?” A little fellow shouted, “Cause your feet ain’t empty.”

Reason 7 The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: “Take only ONE. God is watching.” Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, “Take all you want - God is watching the apples.

V

Things I'm not allowed to do at Hogwarts.

1) Seamus Finnigan is not after me lucky charms

2) I do not weigh the same as a duck. Nor should I try to act like one.

3) "I've heard every possible joke about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge.

4) I will not sing "we're off to see the wizard" when sent to the Headmaster's office.

5) I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class

6) I will not, under any circumstances, ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss

7) Professor Flitwick's first name is not Yoda

8) Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar

9) First years are not allowed to be fed to Fluffy

10) I will not make any jokes about Lupin and his "time of the month"

11) I will not give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals

12) I will not sing the Badger Song during Hufflepuff-Slytherin quidditch matches

13) The Giant Squid is not an approriate date to the Yule Ball

14) When Death-Eaters are attacking Hogsmeade, I shall not point at the Dark Mark and shout "To the Bat Moblie, Robin!"

15) When a class-mate falls asleep, I shall not take advantage of the fact and draw a Dark Mark on his arm.

16) It's not necessary for me to yell "BURN!" every time Snape takes house points from Gryffindor

17) Any resemblance between Dementors and Nazgul is simply coincidental

18) I will not call the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny. Even if he is wearing an orange anorak

19) I will not refer to the Weasley Twins as "bookends"

20) I will ont dress up in a Dementor's suit and use a dustbuster on Harry's lips to make him do what I want.

21) I will not scare the Arithmancy students with my Calculus book.

22) I will not hold my wand in the air before I casting spells shouting "I got the power!"

23) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that the Knights who say Ni have challenged him to a duel and then have students yell "Ni!" from various directions.

24) I am not Xena: Warrior Princess and I shall not use war cries to signal my entrance when I enter a classroom

25) Its not necessary for me to yell "Bam!" everytime I apparate.

26) I will not steal Griffyndor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallway.

27) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music when wandering the halls.

28) "To conquer the earth with flying monkeys" is not an appropriate career choice.

29) I am not allowed to begin Herbology class by singing the theme song to "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes"

30) I am not allowed to paint the house elves blue and call them smurfs.

31) The Whomping Willow is not an Entwife

32) "Draco Malfoy, Take it up the Arse" is not an acceptable quidditch chant.

34) I am not Allowed to lock Harry Potter and Draco Malfoyin a closet to see if hot gay sex will occur.

34) It is a mad idea to tell Proffesor Mcgonagal that she takes herself too seriously

35) "Ya'll check this crap out!" is not an aprropriate way to announce that I am about to conduct an expirimental spell.

36) I will not say the phrase "Dude, get a life" to Voldemort.

37) I will not offer to pose nude for Collin Creevy.

38) I am no longer allowed to use the words "pimp cane" in front of Draco Malfoy.

39) Should I chance to see a Death Eater wearing a white mask, I should not start singing anything from The Phantom of the Opera.

40) Dumbledore does not have "nakie time".

Homophobia…?

1)Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning.
2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10) Gay marriage

"But man, you fucking kids! Back in GALUF'S day, you didn't die from a single sword wound from a pretty boy! No sir! If you wanted to die, you had to go and find the world's most powerful black mage, who despite BEING a mage is wearing FULL ARMOR and WIELDS A SWORD, and knows all the most powerful spells in the game. And hell, just getting to him was a lot harder, too! You had to go through TWO worlds. And it was uphill in BOTH of them. And when you were finally AT that fucking mage, you didn't say "oh hey, stab me, it's a cut scene". No, you PUSSY, you FOUGHT him! And you kept fighting until your hit points were fucking negative ten thousand billion. THEN you can die, you cock-sucking youngin'." - Galuf

This is really sweet...

When a girl is quiet, a million things are running through her mind.

When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply.

When a girl looks at you with her eyes full of question, she is wondering how long you will be around.

When a girl answers "I'm fine." after a few seconds, she is not fine at all.

When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are lying.

When a girl rests her head on your chest, she is wishing for you to be her's forever.

When a girl wants to see you everday, she wants to be pampered.

When a girl says "I love you." she means it.

When a girl says "I miss you." nobody could miss you more than that.

Life only comes around once, so make sure you spend it with the right person.

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, and calls you back when you hang up on him.

The guy who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead,

Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.

The one who holds your hand in front of his friends and is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you there for him.

The one who turns to his friends and declares "That's her."

If you read this, you have to repost it, guy or girl, or you will have bad luck for the rest of your life.

If you repost this, in five minutes your true love will call or message you.

Tonight at midnight, they will realize that they love you.

Something good will happen at approximately 1:42 pm tomorrow, and it could happen anywhere.

So get ready for the biggest shock of your life.

If you don't repost this, you will be cursed with relationship problems for all of eternity.

If you have your own little world, add this to your profile

If you HATE child abusing like me copy and paste this to your profile.

98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this into your profile.

10 random facts about me

1. Pie

2.Bacon

3.Appelsauce

4. Tomato juice

6.You just made a gross face at the word 'Tomato Juice.'

7.You just realized that there was no number 5.

8.You just looked back and are laughing at your self.

10.You just realized I skipped number 9.

YOUR GUY SIDE
You love hoodies.
You love jeans.
Dogs are better than cats.
It's hilarious when people get hurt.
You've played with/against boys on a team.
Shopping is torture.
Sad movies suck.
You own/ed an X-Box.
Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid.
At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
You own/ed a DS, PS or Sega.
You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.
You watch sports on TV.
Gory movies are cool.
You go to your dad for advice.
You own like a trillion baseball caps.
You like going to high school football games.
You used to/do collect football/baseball cards.
Baggy pants are cool to wear.
It's kind of weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
Green, black, red, blue or silver are one of your favorite colors.
You love to go crazy and not care what people think.
Sports are fun.
Talk with food in your mouth (but only sometimes!!).
Sleep with your socks on at night.
TOTAL: 14/25

YOUR GIRL SIDE

You wear lip gloss/stick.
Cats are better than dogs.
You love to shop.
You wear eyeliner.
You wear the color pink.
Go to your mom for advice.
Pink, yellow, orange, purple or gold is one of your favorite colors.
You hate wearing the color black.
You like hanging out at the shopping center.
You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
You like wearing jewelery.
Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
You don't like the movie Star Wars.
You were/are in gymnastics/dance
It takes you around/more one hour to shower, get dressed and make-up.
You smile a lot more than you should.
You have more than 10 pairs of shoes
You care about what you look like.
You like wearing dresses when you can.
You like wearing body perfume.
You love the movies.
Used to play with dolls as little kid.
Like being the star of every thing.
Love romances
TOTAL: 11/25

best qoute ever: "Some people are like slinki's, they arent really good for anything but they put a smile on your face when you push them down the stairs."

Okay, I will get out of the bed in 10 seconds. 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-9-9-9...

"GO TO YOUR ROOM!!!!!"... "You mean, where my laptop, iPod, and phone are? OK!"

"NO IPODS IN SCHOOL!" ... "Yeah cause Watsky is gonna rap me the answers"

The mini-heart-attack you get when you swing too far back on a chair.

99% percent of American girls would cry if they saw Justin Beiber on a skyscraper about to jump if you're one of the 1% that would be on the the skyscraper, sitting on a lawn chair with popcorn telling him to do a flip copy and paste this onto your profile

When a girl is quiet, a million things are running through her mind.

When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply.

When a girl looks at you with her eyes full of question, she is wondering how long you will be around.

When a girl answers "I'm fine." after a few seconds, she is not fine at all.

When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are lying.

When a girl rests her head on your chest, she is wishing for you to be her's forever.

When a girl wants to see you everday, she wants to be pampered.

When a girl says "I love you." she means it.

When a girl says "I miss you." nobody could miss you more than that.

Life only comes around once, so make sure you spend it with the right person.

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, and calls you back when you hang up on him.

The guy who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead,

Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.

The one who holds your hand in front of his friends and is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you there for him.

The one who turns to his friends and declares "That's her.".

If you read this, you have to repost it, guy or girl, or you will have bad luck for the rest of your life.

If you repost this, in five minutes your true love will call or message you.

Tonight at midnight, they will realize that they love you.

Something good will happen at approximately 1:42 pm tomorrow, and it could happen anywhere.

So get ready for the biggest shock of your life.

If you don't repost this, you will be cursed with relationship problems for all of eternity.

Repost this to your profile, and spare yourself the emotional stress.

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual labels on consumer goods:

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair!).

On a bag of Fritos! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought?...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because?...)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity copy and paste this into your profile! XD

"I got the world in my wallet and you know what that means? You're now living in my world!"

Dear Bullies, That boy you punched in the hall today; committed suicide a few minutes ago. That girl you called a slut in class today; she's a virgin. That boy you called lame; has to work every night to support his family. That girl you pushed down the other day; is already being abused at home. The girl you just called fat? She is overdosing on diet pills. The girl you just called ugly? She spends hours putting makeup on hoping people will like her. The boy you just tripped? See that man with the ugly scars? He fought for his country. That guy you just made fun of for crying? His mother is dying. Put this as you're profile if you're against bullying. I bet 95% of you wont put this on your profile, but I'm sure the people with a heart and backbone will.

AQUARIUS - The Slut (1/20-2/18) Great talker. Attractive and passionate. Laid back. Knows how to Have fun. Is really good at almost anything. Great kisser. Unpredictable. Outgoing. Down to earth. Addictive. Attractive. Loud. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Not one to mess with. Rare to find. Good when found. 7 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

PISCES - The Addict (2/19-3/20) EXTREMELY adorable. Intelligent. Loves to joke. Very Good sense of humor. Energetic. Predict future. GREAT kisser. Always get what they want. Attractive. Easy going. Loves being in long relationship. Talkative. Romantic. Caring. 4 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

LEO - The Cool One (7/23-8/22) Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, Fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you'll ever meet! Very beautiful. Amazing. however not the kind of person you wanna mess with... u might end up crying... 9 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

CANCER - The Smart One. (6/22-7/22) Trustworthy. Attractive. Great kisser. One of a kind. Loves being In long-term relationships. Extremely energetic. Unpredictable. Will exceed your expectations. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out. 2 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

ARIES- The Irresistible One (3/21-4/19) Nice Love is one of a kind. Great listeners Very Good in bed... Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you out. Trustworthy. Always happy. Loud. Talkative. Outgoing VERY FORGIVING. Loves to make out. Has a beautiful smile. Generous. Strong. THE MOST IRRESISTIBLE. 9 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

SAGITTARIUS-The One that Waits (11/22-12/21) Dominant in relationships. Someone loves them right now. Always Wants the last word. Caring. Smart. Loud. Loyal. Beautiful. Goofy. Easy to talk to. Everything you ever wanted. Easy to please. The one and only. 7 Years of bad luck if you do not repost.

TAURUS- The Aggressive One (4/20-5/20) MOST AMAZING KISSER. Very high appeal. Love is one of a kind. Very romantic. Most caring person you will ever meet! Entirely creative. Extremely random and proud of it. Freak. Spontaneous. Great at telling Stories. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out if it comes down to it. Someone you should hold on to. 12 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

LIBRA - The Partner for Life (9/23-10/22) Caring and kind. Smart. Center of attention. High appeal. Has the last word. Good to find, hard to keep. Fun to be around. Extremely weird but in a good way. Good Sense of Humor!! Thoughtful. Always gets what he or she wants. Loves to joke. Very popular. Silly, fun and sweet. 5 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

CAPRICORN - The Cute One (12/22-1/19) Love to bust. Nice. Sassy. Intelligent. EXTREMELY SEXY. Predict future. Irresistible. Loves being in long relationships. Has lots of friends. Great talker. Always gets what he or she wants. Also not a fighter, but if they have to, they will also knock the lights out of you if it comes down to it… Cool. Loves to own Geminis' in sports. Extremely fun. Loves to joke. Smart. 24 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

SCORPIO The Gorgeous One (10/23-11/21) Loves being in long relationships. Likes to give a good fight for what they want. Extremely outgoing. Loves to help people in times of need. Best kisser. Good personality. Stubborn. Amazing in bed. A caring person.One of a kind.Gorgeous Smile.Not one to mess with. Are the most attractive people on earth! 15 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

VIRGO- The Promiscuous One (8/23-9/22) Spontaneous. High appeal. Rare to find. Great when found. Loves being in long relationships. So much love to give. Not one to mess with. Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! Amazing in the you know where..!! Not the kind of person you wanna mess with- you might end up crying. 4 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

GEMINI - The Liar (5/21-6/21) Outgoing. Lovable. Spontaneous. Not one to mess with. Funny. Excellent kisser EXTREMELY adorable. Loves relationships. Addictive. Loud. 16 years of bad luck if you do not repost


Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

The Change You Wish to See by mistyhollowdrummer reviews
Levi has never put much care into things, especially things that don't peak his interest. It's genuinely hard to find something that he could like, so when he meets Eren Jaeger, a nineteen year old college student who just happens to be deaf, he wonders what it is that makes the kid so interesting. Warning: Massive cuddles and feels that'll make you wish for a therapist. Rated T-M
Shingeki no Kyojin/進撃の巨人 - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 38 - Words: 174,520 - Reviews: 397 - Favs: 343 - Follows: 444 - Updated: 8/28 - Published: 8/20/2014 - [Eren Y., Levi] Mikasa A., Armin A.
Fight Me, Bite Me by Wild Rhov reviews
Gray has a secret kink for immobilizing people with his ice. Natsu fears his instincts and must be restrained if he wants to get intimate. When a nightmare brings them together, the two rivals realize that the only partner who could handle their fetishes...is each other! WARNING: BDSM, bondage, omorashi, watersports, angst, fluff, profound love... Don't read if you're sensitive.
Fairy Tail - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 57 - Words: 440,160 - Reviews: 2205 - Favs: 1,699 - Follows: 1,628 - Updated: 8/25 - Published: 8/3/2013 - [Natsu D., Gray F.] [Lucy H., Loke/Leo]
The Test by kizukatana reviews
"Look, I just think you should do a... test... while you're out here. No strings, no risks. You hate feeling like an ass because you end up breaking up with every girl you think you love. Just... try it with a guy, and see how it goes," Kiba said, flinching at the glare his best friend Naruto threw at him. After all, he had found the perfect candidate. Yaoi (boyxboy) SasuNaruSas AU
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 21,319 - Reviews: 204 - Favs: 552 - Follows: 204 - Updated: 4/18 - Published: 8/3/2014 - [Naruto U., Sasuke U.] - Complete
The Futures of Our Past by Naruto7771 reviews
What happens when the past and the future collide? Team Seven gets themselves into a sticky situation that they might just need more than "themselves" to fix. As the past characters meet the future characters, others will get wrapped up into the complications and problems will start to unveil themselves. So read if you want to find out more! SasuNaru-AU(?)-NarutoMpreg-Other couples
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 46,356 - Reviews: 100 - Favs: 135 - Follows: 161 - Updated: 10/27/2015 - Published: 3/1/2014 - [Sasuke U., Naruto U.] Kakashi H., Team Seven
When Accidents Happen by WriterAnonymous012 reviews
This version of this story has been abandoned. I will be leaving this story up however for the original followers. The re-write of this story has already been started and posted under the same name; When Accidents Happen:Rewritten. Sorry for anyone I've let down by not continuing but please feel free to head over to the rewrite.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 13,724 - Reviews: 376 - Favs: 273 - Follows: 394 - Updated: 9/28/2015 - Published: 5/28/2005 - Harry P., Draco M.
The Parent Trap by KittyCatShadow reviews
Twin girls Amelia and Alice meet at a summer camp to find out they are sisters. They both want their parents together, and what better way to do that then switch lives for a bit, then meet up and try to reignite their parents old love? Disney's The Parent Trap film plot. Pairing is UsUk(parents) And rating is T for France flirting mildly.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Family/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 48,566 - Reviews: 44 - Favs: 57 - Follows: 65 - Updated: 8/31/2015 - Published: 9/4/2014 - England/Britain, America
Natural Born Killer by lunatrancy reviews
Modern Day Ereri/Riren. Taking place in the same universe as Danger Line (and after the events of the story), Levi and Eren are living their life as a normal, married couple. But things go awry when Levi's father drops in for a surprise visit that leads to a kidnapping and deep-seated revenge. Rated M for blood, language and sex.
Shingeki no Kyojin/進撃の巨人 - Rated: M - English - Romance/Crime - Chapters: 9 - Words: 20,520 - Reviews: 121 - Favs: 167 - Follows: 237 - Updated: 7/28/2015 - Published: 10/8/2014
Cursed or Blessed? by Whytofor reviews
When Clary asks for a favor from the Seelie Queen, she ends up blessing Alec with an ability...or cursing him? Malec mreg
Mortal Instruments - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 9 - Words: 12,072 - Reviews: 119 - Favs: 129 - Follows: 215 - Updated: 7/6/2015 - Published: 8/2/2011 - Alec L., Magnus B.
Rammy says: ilu 8D No matter your flaws :heart: by FastForward reviews
When Sasuke Uchiha decided he wanted to make friends on the internet, he never knew how attached he would truly get to a very interesting individual named Rammy. NaruSasu
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 42,628 - Reviews: 299 - Favs: 486 - Follows: 240 - Updated: 5/20/2015 - Published: 4/26/2015 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
A House we call Home by TsukinoYue reviews
After living with an abusive father, and a runaway mother, the Uchiha brothers are forced to live on their own at a tender age. With help of unusual friends, they learn to move on with their lives, find love with the people they do and hope for a better future. Warnings inside.Yaoi. ItaDei. Future SasuNaruSasu and other pairings. Oc's and OOC (not as much as chapter 700 though).
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 6 - Words: 52,883 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 49 - Updated: 4/21/2015 - Published: 8/17/2014 - [Itachi U., Deidara] [Sasuke U., Naruto U.]
A Forged Wedding by mistyhollowdrummer reviews
Modern AU, based off of the Japanese game: "I... Don't think I heard you right. What did you just ask me, Rivaille?" "I'm asking you to marry me for a month. How did you not hear me right?" (Rated M for later chapters, mentions of other pairings, some spoilers to the manga)
Shingeki no Kyojin/進撃の巨人 - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 31 - Words: 201,889 - Reviews: 1120 - Favs: 1,262 - Follows: 777 - Updated: 4/18/2015 - Published: 1/3/2014 - [Eren Y., Levi] [Mikasa A., Armin A.] - Complete
Sex Ed by The-Missing-Paige reviews
Edward is a junior at Central High School…and so is Envy. This high school takes sexual education to the next level, but Ed doesn't realize just how intense the class is going to be until he is paired up with Envy. Modern day high school AU.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 23 - Words: 36,549 - Reviews: 193 - Favs: 154 - Follows: 107 - Updated: 3/24/2015 - Published: 12/20/2014 - [Envy, Edward E.] - Complete
Be Forever by Rosswen reviews
You only know how to love, you have never been loved. You only know how to give, you have never received. You only know how to forgive, you have never been forgiven. But one more time... will you love me again? Will you give me your heart again? Will you forgive me once again? Will you accept to be forever together? [AU, SasuNaru, Mpreg]
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 7 - Words: 38,540 - Reviews: 199 - Favs: 282 - Follows: 159 - Updated: 3/23/2015 - Published: 2/9/2015 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
Under These Scars by Okami Rayne reviews
Fate's changed the game but it's not over between the players. With Kusagakure's mission as the final round, Neji's agenda is finding his freedom. Shikamaru's agenda is forgetting his fear. But when an old and unfinished game threatens to pull Shikamaru back into the shadows of his past, Neji must make an impossible choice; his own destiny or Shikamaru's darkness. (Part 4 of BtB)
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 30 - Words: 627,748 - Reviews: 693 - Favs: 247 - Follows: 179 - Updated: 2/27/2015 - Published: 12/1/2013 - Neji H., Shikamaru N., Kakashi H., Genma S. - Complete
Undercover Without Cover by The-Missing-Paige reviews
As the top alchemists in the military, Roy Mustang and Edward Eric are prime candidates for dangerous missions. Trained for anything, they still might be a bit surprised when they have to go undercover…in a nudist colony.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 26 - Words: 42,548 - Reviews: 345 - Favs: 233 - Follows: 161 - Updated: 12/13/2014 - Published: 9/12/2014 - [Roy M., Edward E.] - Complete
Trinity by Nick.Tsuki reviews
Naruto, Kurama and Sasuke became brothers under unexpected circumstances. From the moment they decided they would be there for each other always, they lived happily and carefree. But the awaken of certain thoughts, feelings and sensations caused them insecurity, loneliness and despair. Hopefully, they would have a happy ending. Uzumaki-cest, threesome, SasuNaruKura.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 22,127 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 78 - Updated: 12/2/2014 - Published: 9/12/2012 - [Sasuke U., Naruto U., Kyuubi/Kurama]
The Guardian of the Moon by nateulm reviews
The war has been over for nearly a year, and Naruto has be proclaimed an international hero. However, the shadow of a promise looms over him, as he awaits the day when Sasuke returns to his side. Rated T for language and eventual sexual content.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 36 - Words: 182,028 - Reviews: 369 - Favs: 445 - Follows: 356 - Updated: 10/29/2014 - Published: 2/27/2012 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
Peace of Love by Rosswen reviews
All Sasuke wanted was to claim his mate as every young demon. But all he got was a smile, and a challenge. [AU, SasuNaru, Mpreg]
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 7 - Words: 33,988 - Reviews: 140 - Favs: 626 - Follows: 225 - Updated: 9/25/2014 - Published: 8/13/2014 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
Reluctant Hero by Amaya0kami reviews
Levi has a personal vendetta when the unforeseen murder of his crew occurs. In the midst of finding the culprit, he's left with no other choice but to take unfortunate children under his wing. After facing good and bad times together, they soon discover their situations aren't so different and help each other find what they're looking for most. Thug!Levi ErenxLevi(ch16)ErwinxLevi
Shingeki no Kyojin/進撃の巨人 - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 23 - Words: 247,584 - Reviews: 123 - Favs: 120 - Follows: 127 - Updated: 7/10/2014 - Published: 11/10/2013 - [Eren Y., Levi] Mikasa A., Erwin Smith
A Certain Shitty Alphabet by aoiyumekou48 reviews
"Heichou…" Eren called out, merely a borderline between a whisper and a gush of air escaping his lips. Rivaille looked at the sound of his title being called, his eyes bearing that usual light of slight annoyance and impassiveness in it. "Do you believe in love?" It was a question with no correct answer yet both had a single thought in mind. "Yes. And it is you." (alphabet-themed)
Shingeki no Kyojin/進撃の巨人 - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 12,929 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 56 - Updated: 6/5/2014 - Published: 8/25/2013 - [Eren Y., Levi]
Danger Line by lunatrancy reviews
A Modern Day Police-themed AU. Eren is a new cop working for the Sina Investigative Department. However, a run-in with a mysterious mafia boss named Levi lands Eren in a deep, twisted plot of secret organizations and corrupt cops. LevixEren relationship. Rated M for future chapters; violence, lots of violence/blood, language, lots of sex and all that (tw: death-faking )
Shingeki no Kyojin/進撃の巨人 - Rated: M - English - Romance/Crime - Chapters: 36 - Words: 116,570 - Reviews: 876 - Favs: 1,181 - Follows: 694 - Updated: 3/29/2014 - Published: 9/25/2013 - [Eren Y., Levi] - Complete
Opposite sides of the tracks - SasuNaruSasu AU by kizukatana reviews
Naruto and Sasuke come from opposite worlds. Sasuke is heir to the Uchiha business empire. Naruto is just trying to survive childhood. But they are more alike than they realize. When both their lives get ripped apart, the bonds of friendship they forged as children explode into something else entirely. WARNING: YAOI (boyxboy) SasuNaru / NaruSasu AU
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 10 - Words: 80,508 - Reviews: 226 - Favs: 508 - Follows: 188 - Updated: 2/25/2014 - Published: 1/6/2014 - [Naruto U., Sasuke U.] Shikamaru N., Itachi U. - Complete
Overwhelming Emotions by AsakuraHannah reviews
Being woven in his dreams and memories, Rivaille was at a loss. The second encounter with a certain boy made it even much worse than he thought it would be, especially when the boy is reaching his hands out to him again. RiEre. Reincarnation. AU. R&R
Shingeki no Kyojin/進撃の巨人 - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 20 - Words: 94,362 - Reviews: 169 - Favs: 252 - Follows: 252 - Updated: 2/8/2014 - Published: 7/13/2013 - Levi, Eren Y. - Complete
Malec - a collection of missing moments by addicted-to-romione-bedward reviews
There's not enough Malec in the books. Here you can find missing moments that needed to be told. Rated M just to be safe (for future chapters)
Mortal Instruments - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 24,793 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 105 - Follows: 84 - Updated: 11/26/2013 - Published: 10/8/2013 - Alec L., Magnus B. - Complete
Show Me You Love Me, Forever by xMiss Shizaya Michaelisx reviews
Kuroshitsuji/Beauty and the Beast Crossover. When young Ciel Phantomhive forms a contract with a stubborn Demon, he soon realizes that there's more to the mysterious sinner than meets the eye. Can Ciel ever grow to love a Demonic Beast?
Kuroshitsuji - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 23 - Words: 59,292 - Reviews: 246 - Favs: 141 - Follows: 149 - Updated: 11/23/2013 - Published: 2/19/2012 - Ciel P., Sebastian M.
Time of War by PrussianTails reviews
"Now was not a time they were allowed to love. Now was a time of war. Now was for them to make mistakes and not feel. And so, a mutual understanding emerged between them.." LevixEren.. Mentions of ErwinxLevi and ErenxArmin
Shingeki no Kyojin/進撃の巨人 - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,685 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 7 - Published: 11/17/2013 - Eren Y., Levi - Complete
You Lost by Dana-Eliza reviews
The trainees are fighting each other again during self defense class and Jean wins from Eren with a dirty trick. What the others don't know though is that this has consequences for Eren. Not that Eren really minds though. JeanxEren, shower fun, spanking, boyxboy love. Sequel is up called I won!
Shingeki no Kyojin/進撃の巨人 - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,448 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 83 - Follows: 16 - Published: 11/15/2013 - [Jean K., Eren Y.] - Complete
American Konoha (Alt Universe Story) by TheFemaleReviewer reviews
Imagine if Naruto and Sasuke were in the year 2015 right along with us as juniors in high school. But this isn't a normal "Konoha High School" story. Follow Naruto and Sasuke as they deal with a lot of 21st century problems, like drugs, school, and kickass parties, all the while, trying find their place in the modern world. (NaruSasu/SasuNaru)
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Friendship/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 8 - Words: 71,336 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 67 - Follows: 32 - Updated: 10/1/2013 - Published: 8/30/2013 - Naruto U., Sasuke U., Konohamaru S., Tsunade S. - Complete
ErenxLevi High School AU by LauraParker36 reviews
Eren was dreading coming back to Trost High after the summer break. But would the new student, Levi change that? High School AU, rated M for later chapters.
Shingeki no Kyojin/進撃の巨人 - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,128 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 34 - Published: 9/24/2013 - Eren Y., Levi
Sleepover by MedliSage reviews
Nagisa sleeps over at Rei's. Fluffy nagirei for my good friend pcanon!
Free! - Iwatobi Swim Club - Rated: K - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,490 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 4 - Published: 9/23/2013 - Nagisa H., Rei R. - Complete
The One Destined For You by AsaKiku32 reviews
"Sorry Eren, but I don't feel the same way as you feel for me." LeviXArmin and one-sided ErenXArmin. Hints of LeviXPetra. Rated T for swearing.
Shingeki no Kyojin/進撃の巨人 - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,261 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 5 - Published: 9/8/2013 - Armin A., Levi - Complete
Bathing in Filth (ErenxLevi) by Amaya0kami reviews
When Levi witnesses Eren's sloppy bathing habits, the saying 'If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself' comes to mind. ErenxLevi. BL/yaoi. Oneshot.
Shingeki no Kyojin/進撃の巨人 - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,366 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 362 - Follows: 69 - Published: 8/20/2013 - Eren Y., Levi - Complete
Three Day Wedding by SavvyFine reviews
Marshall and Fionna are getting married! But Gumball still has hope and is going to try and mess it up. (Read Three Day Birthday before you read this.)
Adventure Time with Finn and Jake - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 20 - Words: 9,181 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 8/17/2013 - Published: 7/6/2013 - Marshall Lee, Fionna, Prince B. Gumball
12 Ways to Show Your Love by hamxham reviews
Eren and Levi's anniversary is coming up, and Levi figures that it's about time he did some more romantic things for the boy. Unfortunately, Levi just doesn't seem to be cut out for the lovey-dovey role. Oneshot, Tsun!Levi x ReallyDamnCute!Eren. Riren.
Shingeki no Kyojin/進撃の巨人 - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,438 - Reviews: 58 - Favs: 207 - Follows: 49 - Published: 8/5/2013 - Complete
A Game of Longing by Adelaide205 reviews
In a world of fear and death, pain and suffering, it seems appropriate for two boys with nothing to seek each other in comfort and passion. Armin admits his love and Eren makes a promise. ArminxEren
Attack on Titan/進撃の巨人 - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,717 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 10 - Published: 7/30/2013 - Complete
Lessons To Be Learned by smartcat reviews
You would think growing up would have an effect on a certain Blonde and Raven haired Uchiha. Think again. Those two may have PhDs but apparently, it proves nothing. Genius Professors, Moronic People. SasuNaru back in original form
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 26 - Words: 152,909 - Reviews: 1182 - Favs: 722 - Follows: 844 - Updated: 6/24/2013 - Published: 12/19/2010 - Sasuke U., Naruto U.
A New Kind of Adventure by Paredoliain reviews
FIOLEE! After Prince Gumball breaks her heart without even knowing it, Fionna meets a new, and somewhat forbidden, friend. how will that play out? better read and see! ;)
Adventure Time with Finn and Jake - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 5 - Words: 4,408 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 6/23/2013 - Published: 5/31/2013 - Marshall Lee, Fionna, Prince B. Gumball
Possession by Fractured Dreams reviews
When you've lost everything you've ever held dear in your heart, it's hard to pick up the peices and start again. But Naruto gets a chance to rebuild his life and find peace with his past. And perhaps, to find love with another. Shounen ai, Sas x naru,
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 41 - Words: 194,507 - Reviews: 1468 - Favs: 1,029 - Follows: 947 - Updated: 6/14/2013 - Published: 8/26/2005 - Sasuke U., Naruto U.
Requiem by Okami Rayne reviews
Death is a fate we all share, but grief can leave us divided. In the shadow of Asuma's death the shinobi of Konoha learn that grief, unlike death, isn't just a thief in the night – but a night in itself. (Part 3 of BtB series)
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 9 - Words: 102,063 - Reviews: 271 - Favs: 192 - Follows: 87 - Updated: 4/8/2013 - Published: 1/31/2013 - Neji H., Shikamaru N., Kakashi H., Genma S. - Complete
Sasuke Says by FastForward reviews
Minato Namikaze took everything from the Uchiha family. Their money, their business, their home, absolutely everything. Now, Itachi and Sasuke are going to take it all back, and the only way to do that is to take what Minato holds dear. Payback's a bitch. (SasuNaru.)
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Drama/Crime - Chapters: 20 - Words: 165,093 - Reviews: 914 - Favs: 1,427 - Follows: 671 - Updated: 3/22/2013 - Published: 11/4/2012 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
Hazel and Isaac by The Hipster Hufflepuff reviews
A one-shot for the book "The Fault in Our Stars." What if, after the book, Hazel and Issac fell in love? *Contains Spoilers!* I own nothing! Enjoy!
Fault in Our Stars - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,028 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 12 - Published: 1/14/2013 - Hazel L., Isaac - Complete
Shinobi Afterlife by smartcat reviews
Itachi awakens in the afterlife and is met with a surprise. Pure nonsense really. Read at your own volition!
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,046 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 67 - Follows: 8 - Published: 10/31/2012 - Itachi U., Sasuke U. - Complete
Mighty Man Noodles by equalistmako reviews
Mako attempts to give Bolin "The Talk". (Warning: bad puns/metaphors lie ahead. This story is pure Crack. Proceed with caution.)
Legend of Korra - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,069 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 6 - Published: 10/19/2012 - Mako, Bolin - Complete
Follow The Leader by FastForward reviews
Roommates, Part three. "It's simple. All you have to do in order to save his life, is play a little game. All you have to do is Follow The Leader." SasuNaru
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 24 - Words: 156,248 - Reviews: 1882 - Favs: 1,109 - Follows: 886 - Updated: 10/18/2012 - Published: 8/12/2008 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
Promise by xShiroHanax reviews
Nothing would change this fate. Nothing he could say would stop the inevitable battle. So why was he trying to stall so badly? BL, Yaoi, ShikaNaru, Rating will increase. Chapter Two revised.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 10,087 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 34 - Updated: 9/1/2012 - Published: 1/14/2012 - Shikamaru N., Naruto U.
An Earl's Play by scripturient reviews
Alois has teased Ciel one too many times. He'll play his game, but on his own terms. Lemon. CielxAlois.
Kuroshitsuji - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,474 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 141 - Follows: 25 - Published: 8/22/2012 - Ciel P., Alois T. - Complete
Fighting Dreamers by smartcat reviews
When life is full of lemons, Sasuke and Naruto decide to make yaoi...and fight crime on the side...and stumble on organized criminals...and try not to get killed while kicking ass in a truly, manly fashion. Police Fic. AU. SasuNaru
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 7 - Words: 41,989 - Reviews: 227 - Favs: 201 - Follows: 296 - Updated: 8/12/2012 - Published: 11/23/2010 - Sasuke U., Naruto U.
A Minute by Lanatris reviews
A Korrasami rewrite of "Endgame", where everything doesn't go perfectly.
Legend of Korra - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,038 - Reviews: 52 - Favs: 157 - Follows: 38 - Published: 7/28/2012 - [Asami S., Korra] - Complete
Popular by smartcat reviews
Popular kids don't always have all the answers. In fact, they don't really know what they're doing half the time. Which is why they find themselves in these compromising situations. Sasunaru. Minuscule NaruSaku and SasuKar. story back in its original form
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 52,594 - Reviews: 492 - Favs: 534 - Follows: 337 - Updated: 7/20/2012 - Published: 5/30/2011 - Sasuke U., Naruto U. - Complete
Kiba's Bad Day by smartcat reviews
Kiba just can't catch a break. How come he's the only one that doesn't know shit? -Repost after fanfiction took it down-
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,660 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 69 - Follows: 14 - Published: 6/6/2012 - Sasuke U., Naruto U. - Complete
The Gentleman and The Hero by Teenage Mouse reviews
World Academy students have been paired up for an anonymous email exchange program, so they can talk to someone about school and personal problems in private. These are the emails of two students nicknamed 'The Gentleman' and 'The Hero'. Gakuen AU, email.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 21 - Words: 57,732 - Reviews: 1151 - Favs: 1,548 - Follows: 636 - Updated: 6/3/2012 - Published: 1/15/2012 - America, England/Britain - Complete
Isaac's Eyes by WhooligAni reviews
Isaac's thoughts as the bandages are removed from his new eyes.
Fault in Our Stars - Rated: K - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 731 - Reviews: 107 - Favs: 223 - Follows: 18 - Published: 2/11/2012 - Isaac - Complete
Snow Birds by Ryu Matsuo reviews
It's been five long years since Dick and Jason "confessed" to each other. Jason decides it's high time for his bird to know that he can't be with anyone else but him.
Batman - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,916 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 99 - Follows: 38 - Published: 2/11/2012 - Jason T./Red Hood, Richard G./Nightwing
Konoha Dating Agency by Rizember reviews
On a dare, Naruto and Kiba start a dating agency with a 'One date only' policy... humor, romance, sasunaru
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 47,377 - Reviews: 346 - Favs: 322 - Follows: 389 - Updated: 1/26/2012 - Published: 4/30/2010 - Naruto U., Sasuke U.
Truth or Dare? by Ms.FF-Ryter reviews
Ciel and Alois want to play a game but things get little outrageous. Parings: CielxAlois, SebastianxCiel, and ClaudexAlois
Kuroshitsuji - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,748 - Reviews: 192 - Favs: 331 - Follows: 126 - Updated: 8/12/2011 - Published: 8/24/2010 - Ciel P., Alois T., Claude F., Sebastian M. - Complete
In My Arms by LamiaDarkholm reviews
Soul likes Kid, simple to grasp, but who's stopping them from being together? Rated M for sex, language, drama and homophobia. SoulxKid.
Soul Eater - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 15 - Words: 18,284 - Reviews: 135 - Favs: 193 - Follows: 63 - Updated: 7/5/2011 - Published: 4/25/2011 - Soul Eater, Death The Kid - Complete
On The Cusp by Okami Rayne reviews
Corralled into troublesome celebrations, Shikamaru learns that Birthdays can do more than bring people together or push people away. Sometimes they can bring people back - pulling the Past with them. Yaoi/het PART 2 of BtB series
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Drama - Chapters: 17 - Words: 181,029 - Reviews: 592 - Favs: 378 - Follows: 150 - Updated: 4/15/2011 - Published: 9/22/2010 - Shikamaru N., Neji H. - Complete
Hypothesis by Silent Epiphany reviews
A night of friendly drinks turns into one of debauchery in a single slip of the tongue. YAOI, SteinxSpirit. Explicit LEMON! Don't like, don't read!
Soul Eater - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,044 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 149 - Follows: 19 - Published: 3/3/2011 - Franken Stein, Spirit A./Death Scythe - Complete
Fighting It by Silent Epiphany reviews
Sometimes you've just got to stop fighting it. Quick 500 word drabble. SteinxSpirit, implied SoMa. Fluffy sap.
Soul Eater - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 617 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 6 - Published: 12/7/2010 - Franken Stein, Spirit A./Death Scythe - Complete
Eternal by The Typhon Serpent reviews
Tamaki loses his home when his grandmother discovers the secret he's been hiding. Kyoya is trying to keep the same secret from his father. With their friends, they get by. But how long before their luck runs out? TamakixKyoya. Yaoi.
Ouran High School Host Club - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 25,885 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 97 - Follows: 39 - Updated: 11/23/2010 - Published: 9/15/2010 - Tamaki S., Kyōya O. - Complete
Let It Snow by FastForward reviews
The last thing Sasuke wanted to do for Christmas was be stuck in the middle of nowhere with buckets of snow and an annoying neighbour who won't leave him alone. NaruSasu.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 15 - Words: 94,718 - Reviews: 849 - Favs: 1,241 - Follows: 452 - Updated: 11/15/2010 - Published: 12/27/2009 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
Break To Breathe by Okami Rayne reviews
Neji has always been in control. There's just one problem. It's killing him - and only Shikamaru can tell. But sometimes being pulled back from the edge is just as dangerous as being pushed there. Shikamaru/Neji YAOI PART 1 of BtB series
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 50 - Words: 377,330 - Reviews: 1994 - Favs: 1,024 - Follows: 309 - Updated: 9/5/2010 - Published: 1/10/2010 - Neji H., Shikamaru N. - Complete
The Price of Fame by Infekcis reviews
Neji spent one night with him, but how was he, someone with no interest in contemporary bands, supposed to know that he was a renowned musical genius - and now very interested in him as well? ShikaNeji – AU
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 17,371 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 146 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 1/7/2010 - Published: 1/6/2010 - Shikamaru N., Neji H. - Complete
Renewal by oh.industria reviews
AU. Shikamaru gives new meaning to the term 'sexy librarian'. Neji just might learn something. ShikaNeji, NC17ish.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,085 - Reviews: 51 - Favs: 255 - Follows: 21 - Published: 1/2/2010 - Shikamaru N., Neji H. - Complete
Blood and Tears by FastForward reviews
The long awaited :my bad: Roommates sequel. Sasuke wakes up, but something isn't quite right with him. And what does this new organization in town want with Naruto? SasuNaru
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Angst/Humor - Chapters: 22 - Words: 89,208 - Reviews: 2573 - Favs: 1,999 - Follows: 403 - Updated: 5/13/2009 - Published: 6/24/2006 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
Naruto by FastForward reviews
Everyone knows where Naruto’s from. Everyone knows his world. What if Naruto’s world—wasn’t exactly what we thought it was? SasuNaru
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 18 - Words: 73,525 - Reviews: 2759 - Favs: 2,774 - Follows: 751 - Updated: 5/13/2009 - Published: 6/27/2007 - Sasuke U., Naruto U. - Complete
Roommates by FastForward reviews
Take one broody Sasuke, one hyperactive Naruto, shove them in a University dorm room together, and what do you get? Absolute chaos. SasuNaru
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 25 - Words: 122,870 - Reviews: 2692 - Favs: 4,191 - Follows: 823 - Updated: 5/13/2009 - Published: 3/27/2006 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
Hints by mazuinayu reviews
It's quite obvious Hikaru has the hots for Haruhi but what can he do to show her that he does? Perhaps a few hints here and there might help?Hikaru x Haruhi
Ouran High School Host Club - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 6 - Words: 8,500 - Reviews: 60 - Favs: 61 - Follows: 53 - Updated: 7/13/2008 - Published: 12/22/2007 - Haruhi F., Hikaru H.
Winry's Picture by KantanaAmaya reviews
Another lame title. A little push from Havoc and now..Roy and Ed are posing for a picture! And with a pose like this, somethings up. Yaoi! RoyxEd. DISCLAIMER: I don't own FMA, nor the picture I made Winry take. Sorry for the bad summary!
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,782 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 8 - Published: 3/29/2008 - Edward E., Roy M. - Complete
The Ukette by myinukoi reviews
1 uke. 15 semes. 1 mansion. Who will rise above the other semes and claim Naruto as their own? Bachelor.Bachelorette parody.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 66,340 - Reviews: 612 - Favs: 363 - Follows: 409 - Updated: 10/7/2007 - Published: 9/4/2006 - Naruto U.
Forbidden Feelings 2 by Selvanic reviews
Envy isn't sure what to do when he's told something meant for Ed. A continuation of 'Forbidden Feelings' EnvyxEd
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 8 - Words: 6,989 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 5/18/2007 - Published: 5/3/2007 - Envy, Edward E. - Complete
Forbidden Feelings by Selvanic reviews
Ed faces a dilema when his feelings conflict with his logic. EdxEnvy
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 7 - Words: 7,251 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 3/28/2007 - Published: 2/22/2007 - Envy, Edward E. - Complete
Expecting The Unexpected by thoughtless dreamer reviews
Ed and Envy are forced to take the phrase expect the unexpected to heart when it turns out that they are expecting, and indeed, it is quite unexpected. EnvyxEd. Yaoi and mpreg. Rated for language and for future chapters. COMPLETED.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 64,603 - Reviews: 381 - Favs: 323 - Follows: 145 - Updated: 3/14/2007 - Published: 4/22/2006 - Envy, Edward E. - Complete
Troublesome by saucywench20 reviews
ShikaNaru story. Please no flames.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,045 - Reviews: 78 - Favs: 88 - Follows: 137 - Updated: 5/13/2006 - Published: 4/25/2006 - Shikamaru N., Naruto U.
Blue as the Sky by blue-genjutsu reviews
Naruto begins to realize his feelings for Shikamaru go deeper than friendship. Shikamaru begins falling in love with his best friend. ShikaNaru Yaoi
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 24,714 - Reviews: 205 - Favs: 499 - Follows: 147 - Updated: 4/18/2006 - Published: 4/3/2006 - Naruto U., Shikamaru N. - Complete
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Birdflash short one-shot reviews
Look at the title.
Young Justice - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 340 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/20/2015 - Richard G./Robin, Wally W./Kid Flash - Complete
Wrong: A EdXEnvy fic reviews
What happens when everyone finds out Ed is a girl?
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 2,900 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 8/17/2014 - Published: 12/23/2013 - Envy, Alphonse E., Father - Complete
I regret nothing reviews
Some JeanEren smut I whipped up while I was bored.
Attack on Titan/進撃の巨人 - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 304 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/26/2014 - Jean K., Eren Y., Levi A., Mikasa A. - Complete
Damn titan powers reviews
Eren and Levi are a thing. eren gets preggers. Someone is going to kill me in a minute.
Attack on Titan/進撃の巨人 - Rated: T - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 6 - Words: 2,530 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 3 - Published: 3/23/2014 - Complete
Turned into a girl A RoyXEd fanfiction reviews
What happens when Ed gets turned into a girl?
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 22 - Words: 10,204 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 2/28/2014 - Published: 12/12/2013 - Alphonse E., Edward E., Roy M., OC - Complete
Confessed Love ErenXLevi Of course! reviews
Levi confessing his love to Eren. Might do an M-preg sequel.
Attack on Titan/進撃の巨人 - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 405 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 11 - Published: 1/7/2014 - Eren Y., Levi A. - Complete
Hickies A ErenXLevi one shot reviews
Levi got drunk and gave Eren a hickie where everyone will see it! Teehee!
Attack on Titan/進撃の巨人 - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 596 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 12 - Published: 1/6/2014 - Eren Y., Levi A., Z. Hanji, Erwin S. - Complete
Fullmetal Genderbend!
A Fullmetal genderbend
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,067 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 12/6/2013 - Published: 11/26/2013 - Wrath, Sloth, Lust
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Community: Shingekiism
Focus: Anime/Manga Attack on Titan/進撃の巨人