Favorite Fandoms in no particular order

The Ancient Magnus Bride

Misfits of Demon High

Welcome to Demon School Iruma-Kun

D-Gray Man

God Of High School

Sleepy Princess in a Demon Castle

Noblesse

Jujitsu Kiasen

Hetalia

ProMare

Drifting Dragons

Grandblue Fantasy

Bleach

Barakamon

My Hero Academy

One Piece

Naruto

Kingsman: The Secret Service

Kingsman: The Golden Circle

Labyrinth

James Bond ( All Media Types)

The Originals

Teen Wolf

Supernatural

Lord of the Rings

Merlin

Avengers MCU

Lucifer

TrueBlood

Vampire Diaries

Pokemon

Star Wars (excluding anything Sequals they dont exist and will forever have my flames of rage)

Star Trek

Harry Potter

Black Butler

Inuyasha

SAO

Katekyo Hitman Reborn

Prince of Tennis

Fairy Tail

Soul Eater

Ouran High School Host Club

Spice and Wolf

And more... (Including xovers)

27 commandments of FanFiction

1. Thou shalt not post a fic until it has been checked for grammar and spelling errors. The fanfiction gods hath given you a spellchecker on the computer for good reason. Use it.

2. Thou shalt not post a chapter of less than 100 words, unless it is a drabble. If thou breakest this rule, this displeases the masses.

3. Thou shalt not put author's notes in the middle of the story. At beginnings and endings are fine.

4. Thou shalt NEVER use text-speak in a fic, unless the characters are actually texting.

5. Thou shalt keep to one tense, and only one, throughout the story. Do not switch randomly.

6. Apply the above number 5 to POVs as well.

7. Thou shalt not get offended when someone makes fun of the crack pairing featured in your fanfiction. It probably is rather hilarious.

8. Thou shalt not use , ;, or :( in a fanfiction to show the emotion exhibited by a character.

9. Thou shall try-eth to keep characters in character!

10. Thou shall not treat every criticism as a flame.

11. The author's note is not a spot for your personal drama, and thou shalt not make it so.

12. Thou shalt not put any form of the phrase "first fic" in thy summary. This turns away the ones who taketh this business seriously.

13. Thy created characters must not have names that exceed five syllables in length. Nor shall thy name have more than five words.

14. Thou shall not insert thyself into the story line as thyself or as a character –– yes, we know that you are in love with yourself and are very narcissistic, we just don’t want to read about how you end up with the main character.

15. If thou art writing a story that does not follow the original story line, point it out in the beginning.

16. Thou shall not make a person randomly smart or powerful unless stating a reason for the change (a good reason).

17. Thou shalt show and not tell.

18. Thou shalt not EVER use the phrase "I suck at summaries" in-est thine summary. This annoys thine readers.

19. Thou shalt not write the same way thou speakest –– writing is an art.

20. Thou shalt ALWAYS spell the word "okay" correctly. Using the letter "K" is an unacceptable compromise.

21. Thou shalt only use clichés when thou a) art writing a parody or b) find a new and interesting twist to make such clichés bearable to thine reader.

22. Thou shalt always separate dialogue from two separate speakers in two separate paragraphs. Otherwise thine readers shalt be confuse-ed.

23. Thou shalt not EVER make a chapter all one paragraph. THIS INFURIATES BOTH THINE READER AND THE FANFICTION GODS. They have given thee an ENTER key with good reason.

24. Thou shalt not write with thy caps lock on. It displeases the masses, causes thy readers to lose their vision, and makes angels weep.

25. Thou shalt know how to spell the character's names correctly before thou writeth the fic. Misspelling the name of the main characters makes readers angry and distracts from the story.

26. Thou shalt not say in thine summary "summary inside". This shows lack of creativity and infuriates the masses. The only exception is when a summary is cut short and a continuation of it lies inside.

27. Thou shalt use paragraphs and space the story so it is not terrifyingly daunting to thine readers.

Heaven doesn't want me, and hell's afraid I'll take over. Again.

Chaos. Panic. Pandemonium. My work here is done.

When the world is ending, I'm throwing the party!

People are like Slinkys. Basically useless. And yet it's so amusing to watch them fall down the stairs.

You can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family. You can, however, pick the insane asylum where you have them all locked away.

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do.

The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?

God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made women.

I don't know what your problem is but I bet it's hard to pronounce.

They keep saying the right person will come along. I think a truck hit mine.

You're diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

If it wasn’t for physics and law enforcement, I’d be unstoppable.

This calls for a particularly subtle blend of psychology and extreme violence.

When I die, I want to go peacefully, like my grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

That, my children, is called a wall. But beware, the wall is solid. Yes, be afraid! Be very afraid, for we cannot walk through it! Believe me, children, for I have attempted this many times before.

My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

Normal people scare me...but not as much as I scare them.

Well, the voices and I took a vote. It's unanimous: you suck.

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the people I killed because they were annoying.

Just say no to drugs. Because if your drugs are talking to you, you've probably had too many.

If you can easily finish a novel in one day, put this on your profile!

Don't upset me, i'm running out of places to hide the bodies.

Be optimistic, someday everyone you hate are going to die.

Sometimes i lay awake at night and ask "Where have i gone wrong?" and a little voice in my head says "This is gonna take more than one night."

The buddy system is essential to survive, it gives the enemy someone else to shoot at.

Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

Forgive your enemies, it messes with their heads.

9 out of the 10 voices in my head agree that I'm sane.

I'm not afraid of death, what's it gonna do? Kill me?

People are like slinky's, useless but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

I used to have super powers but then my therapist took them away.

Energizer bunny arrested, charged with battery.

I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.

Go to hell!" "Been there, done that, got bored, bought a t-shirt, came back.

I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer.

It is surprising that history should be so dull considering that so much of it is invented.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

(Someone boring talking to you) "Hold that thought, I need to do something" walk over and stare at a wall "yup, a lot more interesting"

I used to think that the whole world was against me. Now I know that's not true. Some of the smaller countries are neutral.

"If there's a light at the end of the tunnel it's the oncoming train"

"Whoever said that words don’t hurt, never got hit by a dictionary."

Parents spend the first half of your life teaching you to walk and talk, and the other half telling you to sit down and shut up.

You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You fall off a cliff, I laugh harder.

There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

Pessimist' is a word used by optimists to describe someone who sees the world for what it really is.

Don’t steal, the government hates competition.

Your village called, their idiot is missing

An idiot is a 44th floor window washer who steps back to admire his work.

If at first you do not succeed, destroy all evidence that you ever tried.

This isn't school! This is Hell with fluorescent lighting.

If con is the opposite of pro, tell me, what is the opposite of progress?

I'm never wrong. Once, I thought I was, but I was mistaken.

This calls for a particularly subtle blend of psychology and extreme violence.

Some people are alive today, simply because it is illegal to kill them.

It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn

Anyone who says "Easy as taking candy from a baby" has never tried it.

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away... if you throw it hard enough.

Whoever said, "Nothing is impossible," never tried slamming a revolving door.

You are an asset, when you’re not being a pain in the asset.

Stupid is when you spend 18 hours trying to drown a fish.

You can have as many friends that money can buy, but I’ll still hate you for free.

I never apologize. I’m sorry, that’s just the way I am.

If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life.

If you have noticed this notice you will have noticed that this notice is not worth noticing.

I used to have an open mind, but my brains kept falling out.

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

When butterflies fall in love do they feel humans in their stomachs?

Me? Fail English!? … That’s unpossible!

I ate my homework cos my teacher said it was a piece of cake. – she lied.

If all the world's a stage... where the heck is the audience sitting??

Don’t expect the unexpected unless the unexpected expects you.

I am a member of NAPWDLA…National Association of People Who Don’t Like Abbreviations

There’s a fine line between genius and stupidity… I like to jump rope with that line.

In the beginning God made the heaven and the earth. The rest was made in China.

A message to LIFE: Please stop giving me lemons, can I have some chocolate now?

I don’t walk away from fights, I prefer running.

Many of us have sought the meaning of life. Fortunately it’s out on DVD now.

I’m always right… except when I’m wrong.

It’s bad luck to be superstitious.

Excuse me, but do these stairs go up?

To kill a mocking bird. Now that’s one less bird that will wake you up, with it’s chirping.

If aliens come down to earth looking for intelligent life. Wrong planet. Sorry.

If life gives you lemons, say, “Great! I love lemons! What else ya got?”

HEY CAN ANYONE TELL ME WHAT THE CAPS LOCK KEY IS FOR.

Why can’t I get any soup with this fork?

Today, I took an elevator up from the top floor to the basement. It was up-lift-ing.

The is a thin line between a stupid and a fool. I’m on a quest to discover whether it was an idiot or a fool who erased it.

We cannot give you the weather today because we depend on weather reports from the airport which is shut due to weather conditions. We might be able to give you a weather report tomorrow depending on the weather.

A day without sunshine is, like night.

People always say you can be who you wanna be but I can never be a giraffe.

Traffic is very heavy at the moment, so if you are thinking of leaving now, you’d better set off a few minutes earlier.

"What color was Napoleon’s white horse?" "Uh, I dunno… Black?"

As a girl was looking at a poodle, she said “Whoa! it’s a sheep!”

This is scary but pretty accurate..

1 Which color is better red, black, green, blue, or yellow

2 What's your first initial?

3 What month were u born?

4 Which color do you like more, black or white?

5 Name one of your friends

6 Name a number 1-100

7 Do you like flying or driving more

8 Do you like lakes or oceans more

Think of a wish, but don't write it...1 If you chose

1 If you chose: Red: You are alert and your life is full of love Black : You are conservative and aggressive Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back Blue: You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones you love and give good advice to those who are down Yellow - You are a very happy person with alot to give

2 If you're initial is: A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life L-R: You try to enjoy your life to the maximum your love life is soon to blossom S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good

3 If you were born in: Jan-Mar: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you fall in love with someone totally unexpected April-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will last forever July-Sept: You will have a great year and will experience a major life-changing experience for the good Oct-Dec: Your love life will be great, and eventually you will find your soul mate

4 if you chose: Black: Your life will take you on a different direction, it will seem hard at times but will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do any thing for you, but you may not realize it

5 This person is your best friend

6 If it is 1-50 you are a very lovable person and you have a great life More than 50, screw the world

7 If you chose: Flying - You like adventure Driving - You are a laid back person

8 if you chose: Lake - You are loyal to your friends, your lover, and yourself You are very reserved but emotional Ocean - You are spontaneous and like to please people

9 This wish will come true only if you repost this

1. YOUR REAL NAME:

(you will never Know)

2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME:(first 3 letters of real name plus izzle):

Mirizzle

3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fav color and fav animal):

Black Inu

4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, and current street name):

Rose Stony

5. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, last 3 letters of mom's maiden name):

Angmiano

6. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favorite color, favorite drink):

Silver Water

7. YOUR ARAB NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your mom's maiden name, 3rd letter of you dad's middle name, 1st letter of a sibling's first name, last letter of your mom's middle name):

Igroace

8. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother's middle name):

Rose

9. YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one of your pets):

Black Jack

THE PERV CODE

Curiosity gets me thinking

Thinking gives me mental images

Mental images gives me inspiration

Inspiration gives me the guts to express it

The guts to express it makes me a perv

FEMALE COMEBACKS!!

Man:My dad owns the Café. I could get us really good seats.

Woman:My dad runs that hospital, and that's where you'll be if you keep hitting on me.

Man:I have magic fingers. And they love to give massages.

Woman:I have a high kick. And they love to land on...

Man:Are you an angel from heaven?

Woman:No, I'm a vampire from hell.

Man: Your eyes they're amazing.

Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing.

WHY DO BOYS FALL IN LOVE WITH GIRLS??

1. They will always smell good even if it's just shampoo.

2. The way their heads always find the right spot on our shoulder.

3. How cute they look when they sleep.

4. The ease in which they fit into our arms .

5. The way they kiss you and all of a sudden everything is right in the world.

6. How cute they are when they eat.

7. The way they take hours to get dressed but in the end it makes it all worth while.

8. Because they are always warm even when its minus 30 outside.

9. The way they look good no matter what they wear.

10. The way they fish for compliments even though you both know that you think she's the most beautiful girl on this earth.

11. How cute they are when they argue.

12. The way her hand always finds yours.

13. The way they smile.

14. The way you feel when you see their name on the call ID after you just had a big fight.

15. The way she says "lets not fight anymore" even though you know that an hour later...

16. The way that they kiss after you have had a fight.

17. The way they kiss you when you say "I love you".

18. Actually...Just the way they kiss you...

19. The way they fall into your arms when they cry.

20. Then the way they apologize for crying over something that silly.

21. The way they hit you and expect it to hurt.

22. Then the way they apologize when it does hurt (even though we don't admit it).

23. The way they say "I miss you".

24. The way you miss them.

25. The way their tears make you want to change the world so that it doesn't hurt her anymore...

(='.'=) This is Bunny. Copy and paste bunny

(")_(") Into your profile to help him achieve world domination! Come! Join the dark side... We have cookies! XD

If you are a Proud Otaku, Copy and Paste!

It's not a comic book, it's "Manga"

It's not a cartoon, it's "Anime"

It's not homosexual, it's "Yaoi"

It's not lesbian, it's "Yuri"

It's not erotic, it's "Ecchi"

It's not pedophile, it's "Lolicon"

It's not gay, it's "Shonen-ai"

It's not slutty, it's "Fan Service"

It's not a costume, it's "Cosplay"

It's not a dating show, it's a "Harem"

It's not a fetish, it's "Moe"

It's not a bipolar girl, it's "Tsundere"

It's not a drawing, it's "Doujinshi"

It's not schizophrenic girl, it's "Yandere"

It's not Chinese, it's "Japanese"

It's not Chinese animation, it's "Japanimation"

Most Importantly... I'm not a geek, i'm an "Otaku!"

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile.

If you'd prefer having an anime boy as your boyfriend then some one in real life, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If your ONE TRUE LOVE is an anime character, copy this into your profile.

If you agree post on you profile...

You say English, we say Japanese

You say cars, we say Nyan Cat

You say Justin Bieber, we say Vocaloid

You say gamer, we say SAO

You say swords, we say Bleach

You say reality, we say anime

You say comics, we say manga

You say countries, we say Hetalia

You say hello, we say konichiwa

You learn Japanese from classes, we learn from anime

Youcry if a character dies, we have a rainbow of emotions

You only feel what your favorite person feels, we feel whateveryone else is feeling

You crush on pop stars, we crush on anime characters

You think we're crazy, but we think you're just normal

You say souls, we say Soul Eater

You Say Ocean, We Say ONE PIECE

You Say Guild, We say FAIRY TAIL

You Say Ninja, We Say Naruto

You say Family, We say Vongola

You say notebook, We say DeathNote

You say Gay, We say Yaoi

You say rabbits, we say Flying Mint Bunny

You think we're fangirls/fanboys, but we're all Otakus

(='.'=) This is Bunny. Copy and paste bunny on your profile if you love Bunny. BUNNY!

(")_(") Into your profile to help him acheive world domination! Come! Join the dark side... We have Cookies! And milk.

1) I need to tell you a secret. go to 5

2) the answer is... go to 11

3) don't get angry. go to 15

4) calm down don't get frustrated. go to 13

5) first go to 2

6) don't be angry just go to 12

7) I just wanted to say hi

8) what I wanted to tell you is...is on 14

9) Be patient and go to 4

10) this is the last time I'm going to send you to a number. go to 7

11) I hope ur not annoyed when I say this...but go to 6

12) sorry out of order. go to 8

13) don't get mad just yet...go to 10

14) I don't know how to say this but... go to 3

15) You must be really bored so go to 9

COPY AND PASTE If YOU Found That Funny

Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you like me?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you want me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you cry if I left?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you live for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you do anything for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Choose--me or your life

Boy: My life

Girl runs away in shock and pain and Boy runs after her and says...

The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.

The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.

The reason I don't want you is because I need you.

The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.

The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.

The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.

The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.

This is super sweet. Really... If you read it and think that it's sweet, copy and paste it into your profile!

37 Things to do in an Elevator

1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"

2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.

3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.

4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

5. Meow occasionally.

6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.

7. Say "DING!" at each floor.

8. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.

9. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

10. Stare grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."

11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.

13. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."

14. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

15. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them.

16. Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.

17. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"

18. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"

19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.

20. Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.

21. Swat at flies that don't exist.

22. Call out "Group hug!" then enforce it.

23. Make car race noises when someone gets on or off.

24. Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you.

25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"

26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.

27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.

28. Let your cell phone ring - don't answer it.

29. Walk into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."

30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.

31. Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer.

32. Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.

33. Ask, "Did you feel that?"

34. Tell people that you can see their aura.

35. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."

36. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."

37. Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time..."

10 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity.

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.

3. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

4. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds"

5. Whenever Stating a Fact, Add 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'.

6. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

7. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."

8. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.

9. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

10. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity...Copy and Paste this into your profile!!!

If you believe some teachers are seriously prejudiced, copy and paste this to your profile.

If several inanimate objects just seem to hate you (STUPID LOCKER!) copy and paste this to your profile.

If you think having wings would be one of the COOLEST THINGS EVER, copy this to your profile.

If you have ever seen a movie, TV show, etc. so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in your profile.

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you or your best friend is insane copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are obsessed with Fan-fiction copy this into your profile.

If you are random and don't care, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

Sicence prvoes taht eevn wehn the wrods are srcabmled up you can sitl raed tihs. Cpoy and Psate tihs itno yuor porflie if you can raed tihs.

If you want world peace, a brighter future, and more chocolate, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have strange dreams that never, ever make any sense whatsoever, put this into your profile.

If you like stuff that everybody else hates and don't care who thinks you suck because of it, copy this into your profile.

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...

Post this on your profile if you hate racism!

95 of teens would panic if Edward Cullen was on a 250 foot building about to jump. Copy this if you are one of the 5 who would bring popcorn, a chair, and shout "DO A FLIP!"

If you have ever just wanted to slap someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you've ever pushed on a door marked pull or vice versa, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen down the stairs, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you think that life without computers is worthless, copy this to your profile.

If your profile is WAAAAAYYYY too long, copy this into your profile and proceed to brag about how long your profile is.

If you hate MTV and are proud of it, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever accidentally stabbed yourself or someone else with a pencil, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy this into your profile.

If you are random and don't care, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile.

I'm bored... If your bored, then copy and paste this to your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this to your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you said it, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you are the kind of person that gets excited when you get like 2 reviews, copy and paste this to your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know what to call someone. Weird is the same as different which is the same as unique, so weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it copy and paste this into your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. When you argue with yourself and LOSE is when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever wished you could live in a story, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one to your profile.

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you should actually be doing homework right now, copy this to your profile.

95 of teenagers are concerned with being popular. If you are part of the 5 that aren't, copy this into your profile

If you love these copy and paste things, even though they aren't that cool to begin with, copy this into your profile.

If you have too many of these copy-and-paste things in your profile and don't care who dislikes it, copy this into your profile.

If you're quiet a lot but you're ALSO really loud, copy this into your profile.

95% of the teenage female population would cry if Robert Patterson or Justin Bieber jumped off a building and killed himself. If you are the 5% that would grab a chair, some popcorn, and watch him do it, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think Edward Cullen is nothing more than a gay sparkly vampire, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If the angel of music sings song in your head, copy and paste this to you profile ;D

If you often laugh out loud at things inside your own head, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever tripped where there is a WATCH YOUR STEP SIGN copy this into your profile

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you need help because you are copying and pasting like there's no tomorrow, copy this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fan fictions, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile.

If you're a girl who's tired of people assuming that just because you’re a girl you love pink and can't fight to save your life, copy and paste this into your profile

If you think that writing Fanfic stories is fun then copy this onto your profile!

If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.If you ask stupid questions just to annoy other people, copy this into your profile

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?” copy this into your profile.

If you have your own little world copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever felt the undeniable urge to slam your head into something, whether it is another person or not copy this into your profile

If you are in la la land most of the time copy this onto your profile.

If you have a tendency to talk to yourself, copy and paste this to your profile.

Chocolate is YUMMY! If you are a chocoholic, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever read past two in the morning, re post this in your profile.

If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy this to your profile

If you've ever threatened your computer, copy and paste this into your profile.

If, for no reason, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.

If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly planning world domination (you're all welcome to join me by the way) copy and paste this to your profile.

If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile

If you support inuyashaXkagome...copy and place this onto your profile

Girl Comebacks!

Man: Where have you been all my life?

Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?

Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?

Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?

Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?

Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?

Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?

Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.

Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the ends of the world for you.

Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.

Woman: If I could see you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put u and i together.

Woman: Really? I'd put f and u together.

Man: Your eyes, they're amazing.

Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing.

Man: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?

Woman: About as much as when you got kicked out of Hell.

Man: It’s a good thing I have my library card, because I’m checking you out.

Woman: Oh, sorry, I’m reserved for someone else.

Man: I know how to please a woman.

Woman: Then please leave me alone.

Man: I want to give myself to you.

Woman: Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

Man: May I see you pretty soon?

Woman: Don't you think I'm pretty now?

Man: Your hair color is fabulous.

Woman: Thank you. It's on aisle three at the corner drug store.

Man: You look like a dream.

Woman: Go back to sleep.

Man: I can tell that you want me.

Woman: Yes, I want you to leave.

Man: Hey, baby, what's your sign?

Woman: Do not enter. or Stop.

Man: I'd go through anything for you.

Woman: Let's start with your bank account.

Man: May I have the last dance?

Woman: You've just had it

Man: What's it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar?

Woman: What's it like being the biggest liar in the world?

Man: So you wanna go back to my place?

Woman: Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

Girls, copy and paste this on your profile!

95% of teens would cry if they saw the Jonas Brothers at the top of a skyscraper about to jump. Copy and paste this if you are part of the 5% that would sit there with popcorn and a camera and yell "DO A FLIP!!!

If Justin Bieber shaved his head bald, 95% of girls would cry. Copy and paste this if you are the 5% running up and down the street screaming YES!!!!!!!!!!!!

98% of Girls would cry if Justin Bieber dissapeared off the face of the Earth. Post this on your page if you are one of the 2% that would run around the house screaming: "Yay! I'll never have to hear his irritating voice ever again!"

98% of the girls in the world would die if Robert Pattinson was kidnapped. 1.9% of them would be laughing their socks off. 0.1% of them would be snickering and poking their new hostage with a stick. I would be in the 0.1% category!

92 percent of American teens would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breath. Copy this into your profile if you would be in the 8 percent laughing their asses off at the others.

90 percent of teens would have a breakdown if Miley Cyrus was standing on the edge of a 6 story building. Copy and paste this if you'd be one of the 10 percent yelling jump bitch!

You see a kid abusing a puppy with a baseball bat. 97% of people would yell "STOP!" 2% of them would cheer, 1% of them would take the baseball bat and hit the kid then take the puppy to the Vet. Post this on you profile if you are that 1%... It isn't my fault that that boy died! I swear i wasn't trying to break his neck with the bat!

Some people say they are big readers. That they're so into books it's not funny. However the only way to tell is if they 1) Suddenly gasp when something exciting happens in the book. 2) Start talking to the book because that's not how they want the book to go. 3) Hurl the book across the room when one of their favorite characters dies. 4) When you find out when the next book is coming out, you pre-order it... Even if the release date is next year. Copy and paste this if you are one of these people I do all four...

Things to Remember at Hogwarts

1. I will stop referring to showering as “Giving Moaning Myrtle an eyeful”

2. Polishing my wand is acceptable in the common room. “Polishing my wand” is not.

3. If a classmate falls asleep in the common room, I will not take advantage of that fact and draw the Dark Mark on their arm

4. Starting a betting pool on the fate of this year’s Defense against the Dark Arts teacher is tasteless and tacky, not a clever money making concept.

5. Seamus Finnegan is not “after me Lucky Charms”

6. I am allowed to have a toad, rat, cat or owl. I am not allowed to have a reticulated python, snow leopard, Tasmanian devil or piranha.

7. I do not weigh the same as a duck.

8. Remus Lupin does not wear a flea collar.

9. I will not ask Dumbledore to show me the pointy hat trick.

10. Professor Flitwick’s first name is not Yoda.

11. It is generally accepted that cats and dragons cannot interbreed and I should not attempt to disprove this theory no matter how wicked the result would be.

12. I will not impersonate the Emeril in Potions class

13. Novelty or holiday-themed ties are not to be worn with my school uniform.

14. I will not put books of muggle fairy tales in the history section of the library.

15. I will not dress up in a Dementor suit and use a dustbuster on Harry’s lips to get him to do what I want.

16. I will not refer to the Accio charm as “The force”

17. Calling the Ghostbusters is a cruel joke to play on the resident ghosts and poltergeists

18. If asked in class in class what the Avada Kedavra curse does, yelling “It does DEATH!!” may be correct but it is not the matter in which one should answer.

19. Ravenclaws do not find a sign saying “The library is closed for an indefinite time period” amusing in any sense.

20. A time turner is not a time capacitator, and therefore I should not install one in any muggle cars.

21. I am not allowed to use silencing charms on my Professors

22. If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for longer then 15 seconds I am to assume I am not allowed to use it.

23. I will not follow potion instructions in reverse order just to see what happens

24. I will not claim there is a prequel to Hogwarts; A History that explains about Bilbo Baggins.

25. I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paintball

26. I will not cast the occasional Obliviate charm on Dumbledore even if it would be amusing.

27. I will not lock Gryffindors and Slytheryns in a room together and take bets on which house will come out alive.

I will not give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they are real animals.

I will not sing the Badger Song during Hufflepuff-Slytheryn quidditch matches.

Bringing fortune cookies to Divination does not count as extra credit.

I will never ask Harry if his scar senses are tingling.

I will not sing the entire Multiplication Rock series during Arithmancy.

I will not charm the suits of armor to sing “Knights of the Round Table” at the Christmas feast.

I am not allowed to make light saber sounds with my wand

I will not dress as Voldemort for Halloween

I will not scare the Arithmancy students with my Calculus book.

I will not sing “we’re off to see the wizard” when sent to the headmasters office.

I will not tell Sir Cadogan that the knights who say Ni have challenged him to a duel and then students yell Ni from various directions.

RANDOM THINGS:

All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.

When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

Everything here is eatable. I'm eatable, but that my children is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies-Willy Wonka

Let's flip a coin-heads we'll be together, tails we flip again.

Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.

Don't frown, even when you’re sad9, someone could be falling in love with your smile.

Education is important, school however, is another matter.

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.

Boys are like slinkys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

The greatest challenge in life is to find someone who knows all your flaws, differences, and mistakes, and yet still sees the best in you.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.

Come join the dark side - we have cookies!

I'd rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I'm not.

Why is it that people are fine with everyone having a different job or going to a different school, but if you say you follow a different religion, you are weird?

My favorite word is sarcasm.

There are 3 reasons to go through the day: Coffee in the morning, friends in the afternoon, and a good book for the rest of the day.

Note to Self: Normal is just a setting on washing machines.

Boys that make you cry aren't worth crying over; boys that are worth crying over won't make you cry.

Did you just call me a bitch? Because a bitch is a dog. Dogs bark. Bark is on trees. Trees are a part of nature. And nature is beautiful. I know I'm beautiful! Thanks for the complement.

I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse.

Dear Heart, I met a boy today, prepare to shatter.

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

Boys are like trees-they take 50 years to grow up.

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

Life was so simple when boys had cooties

I make the cowardly lion look like the terminator!

I ran with scissors, and lived!

Thanks Stephenie now I will NEVER get a man.

"Wal-Mart, do they like, sell walls there?" - Paris Hilton

I hear voices, and they don't like you.

My imaginary friend thinks you have serious problems.

You know what makes letting go of a crush so hard? The fear that the moment you let go, they'll catch on

Here are some sayings that I love:

I have a life, I just choose not to use it.”

Kill your enemies. Kill your friends’ enemies. Kill your friends.”

I’m a pyrotechnition. If you see me running, try to keep up.”

You laugh at me because I'm crazy, I laugh at you because there's an invisible leprechaun on your shoulder!”

Last night I was looking up at the stars wondering… WHERE THE HECK IS MY CEILING?”

Sanity? Why would I want something as useless as that?”

Violence is always the answer, and if it’s not solving all of your problems, you simpy aren’t using enough of it.”

Labels are for cans, and in case you haven't noticed, I'm not a can!”

Education is important, school however, is another matter.”

Don't hate yourself in the morning--sleep till noon.”

You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?”

Aren't the 'good things that come to those who wait' just the leftovers from the people that got there first?”

We are not retreating… we are advancing in another direction.”

I’m right ninety-seven percent of the time. Who cares about the other four percent?”

They say ‘Guns don't kill people, people kill people.’ Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people. Thatdepends on whether you’re in a nursing home or not.”

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.”

Of course I'm out of my mind! It's dark and scary in there!”

If at first you do succeed, try not to look too astonished.”

Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried slamming a revolving door…”

If at first you don't succeed, blame it on bad parenting.”

Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.”

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, then the rest of our lives telling us to sit down and shut up.”

Always forgive your enemies--Nothing annoys them more.”

Don’t mess with me; I've got a stick.”

There are three kinds of people in the world; people who can count; and people who can’t.”

Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't.”

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.”

I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers.”

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.”

Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.”

When life throws you lemons, cut ’em open and squirt the juice in its eye.”

When life throws you lemons, throw a brick back.”

When life throws you lemons, make apple juice and let the world wonder how you did it.”

When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it, but it only takes 2 muscles to extend your arm and punch the crap out of them."

I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse.”

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.”

"Never say 'Things couldn't get any worse.' God takes that as a personal challenge."

"The light at the end of the tunnel is the train coming."

"Do not use an axe to kill a fly on your friends' head."

"I ran into my ex the other day, then I put the car in reverse and ran over her again."

Some people are like Slinkies. They're really good for nothing. But they still really bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs."

"Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss."

Taste the rainbow--eat CRAYONS!!!"

"The spontaneous rally will begin at 1:45."

"Please Note: CHRISTMAS IS CANCELED Apparently you told Santa that you’ve been good this year… he died laughing."

"Don't walk in my footsteps. I walk into walls." (this is true for me…)

"If you wish on a falling star it might come true...unless it's a meteor hurdling to earth...then no wishes come true...unless your wish was to be killed a meteor hurdling to earth."

Me, Myself, and I are fighting. I got mad at Myself, and Me got mad at I so now Me, Myself and I are sitting it opposite of my brain. Please help me.”

There’s a dark cloud over my head, so I’m praying; ‘Lord, please don’t send lightning.’"

It’s not dead till you poke it with a stick.”

Fire is a good servant, but a terrible master.”

There are too many wishes, and not enough stars.”

Dude. Calm down. It’s gym class.”

Either snow it up for a snow day or don’t snow at all!”

Facebook is like a refrigerator. You check it when you’re bored but nothing ever changes.”

Gotta go. I’m not really going anywhere, but neither is this conversation.”

I cry, I feel better. Then I remember why I’m crying and cry harder.”

I do know, I just don’t feel like telling you!”

RIP: Spongebob, who died in the oil spill caused by BP.”

Stop drop and roll doesn’t work in hell.”

Santa Claus is a creeper. He sees you when you’re sleeping, he knows when you’re awake, he knows if you’ve been bad or good, he comes down your chimney in the middle of the night with a giant sack of toys--see what I mean?”

I have six locks on my door. Whenever I go out I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they’re always locking three.”

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.”

It's always darkest before the dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.”

He's turned his life around. He used to be depressed and miserable. Now he's miserable and depressed.”

When somebody tells you nothing is impossible, ask him to dribble a football.”

A great name for a new country song: If I'd Shot You Sooner, I'd Be Out of Jail by Now.”

Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together.”

I learned law so well. The day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.”

Just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.”

Who says nothing is impossible. I've been doing nothing for years.”

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?”

The worst thing about loving you was watching you love someone else.”

It takes a couple seconds to say ‘Hello’, but forever to say ‘Goodbye’.”

If you're going through hell, keep going.”

I wanna be just like Barbie; that bitch has everything!”

You can’t spell slaughter without laughter.”

To the world, you are one person. But to one person, you are the world.”

Would you like a side of epic with that fail?”

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.”

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.”

Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn’t find anyone to copy it from.”

When I was kidnapped my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.”

There are worse things than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?”

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case I definitely overpaid for my carpet.”

There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.”

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them, and you have their shoes.”

The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.”

Knowing is half the battle. The other half is punching someone in the face.”

I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot.”

I hope life isn’t a joke, because I don’t get it.”

Most people are only alive because it’s illegal to shoot them.”

Some say the glass is half empty; some say the glass is half full. I say, “are you gonna drink that?”

All people have the right to stupidity. Some abuse the privilege.”

Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?”

They say no one is perfect. Well, I’m no one.”

Do not drink and drive--you might spill the drink.”

When life gives you lemons say “screw you” and go find an orange.”

Never argue with an idiot. They’ll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.”

A word to the wide isn’t necessary--it’s the stupid people that need the advice.”

Alright everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.”

Always end the name of your child with a vowel, that way, when you yell, the name will carry.”

Between two evils, I always pick the one I haven’t tried before.”

Cross country skiing is great if you have a small counrty.”

Never forget Mother’s Day, or as they call it in beverly Hills, Dad’s Third Wife Day.”

Food is an important part of a balanced diet.”

Get your facts straight, then distort them as you please.”

Housework can’t kill you, but why take the chance?”

How many people have telekinetic powers? Raise my hand.”

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.”

I knew I was an unwanted baby when my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.”

I wear a necklace ‘cause I wanna know when I’m upside down.”

I’m not a real movie star. I’ve still got the same wife I started with twenty-eight years ago.”

"I don’t care what you say about pedophiles, at least they drive slow in school zones."

"I don’t forgive people because im weak. I forgive people because I’m strong enought to realize that everyone makes mistakes."

"By the power vested in me, I now pronouce you deleted and blocked! You may now kiss my ass!"

"If Barbie’s not a slut… then why do we have to buy her boyfriends?"

"If you don’t want a sarcastic answer, then don’t ask a stupid question."

"You think I’m screwed up? You should meet the rest of my family!"

"The shit you heard about me might be real… Then again it might be as fake as the bitch who told you."

"Money can’t buy you happiness, but somehow crying in a Porche is a lot more comforting than crying on a bicycle."

"Forgive your enemy, but remember the fucker’s name."

"Help a man when he is in trouble, and he will remember you next time he is in trouble."

Alchohol doesn’t solve any problems, but neither does milk."

"Three out of two people have trouble with fractions."

"He said… 'Why do you wear a bra? You have nothing to put in it.' She said… 'You wear pants, don’t you?' "

"Best friends. We’re the kind of people who laugh at a joke three times. The first time, when it’s told. The second, when someone explains it. The third, five minutes later when we actually get it."

"Pain doesn’t hurt when it’s all you’ve ever felt."

"We’re not sarcastic - We’re hilarious. We’re not annoying - We’re just cooler than you. We’re not mean - We just don’t like you. And we’re not obsessed - We’re just best friends."

"I’ll always be beside you, until the very end, wiping all your tears away, and being your best friend. I’ll smile when you smile and feel all the pain you do, and if you cry a single tear, I promise I’ll cry too."

"When people you don’t even know hate on you, you know you’re the shit!"

"Friends help you with your crack addiction. Best friends are the ones who sold it to you."

"I would just like to let everyone know that I am a girl, and I like ribbons in my hair, and I wanna kiss all the boys." -Griff RvB

"Got acne? Just ask your girlfriend what to do. Oh, that’s right! You don’t have a girlfriend!"

"We live in an age where pizza gets to your home before the police."

"The world is going to hell, and I am driving the bus."

"I’d kill for a Nobel Prize!"

"Three a.m. phone call. 'Hey are you sleeping…?' '“No. I’m skydiving.' "

"Butt jiggle is just my way of waving good-bye."

"I didn’t fall. The floor just needed a hug."

"If you can’t convince them, confuse them."

"If Google didn’t exsist, we’d all be screwed."

"I survived Y2K, Bird Flu, Mad Cow Disease, 9/11, and Swine Flu. 2012, bring it on!"

"Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to. Unless you are in prison."

"If you had a broken heart, you’d be dead. So shut up."

"They keep saying the right person will come along… I think a truck hit mine!"

"We’ll be friends until we’re old and senile. Then we’ll be NEW friends!"

"The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns left."

"Be nice to your kids. They’ll choose your nursing home."

"Having children is hereditary. If your parents never had children, odds are you won’t either."

"Remember. There’s no I in ‘Team.’ (But there is an M and an E)"

"A classic is a book that is much praised, but rarely read."

"My mom never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."

"We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public."

"The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."

"If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining."

"If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments."

"How is it one careless match to start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?"

"Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night."

"I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you."

"I saw a woman wearing a shirt that said 'Guess' on it… so I said 'Implants?' "

"Crowded elevators smell different to midgets."

"The main reason Santa’s so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live."

"It’s not the fall that kills you; it’s the sudden stop at the end."

"My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you’re ugly too."

"I don’t trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn’t die."

"I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, 'I’m going to mop the floor with you’re face.' I said, 'You’ll be sorry.' He said, 'Oh, yeah? Why?' I said, 'Well, you won’t be able to get into the corners very well.' "

"You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon'. Need I say more?"

"After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF!"

"What’s the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale? A northern fairytale begins 'Once upon a time…' A southern fairytale begins 'Ya’ll ain’t gonna believe this shit…' "

"Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don’t make sense. Refrigerator."

"Déjà vu - When you think you’re doing something you’ve done before, it’s because God thought it was so funny, he had to rewind it for his friends."

"Life’s a bitch, ‘cause if it was a slut, it’d be easy."

"You know, they gotta luggage store in the airport? A place to buy a piece of luggage? How late do you have to be for a flight where you’re like 'Fuck it - just grab a pile of shit. We’ll get a bag at the airport.' "

"Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking? Because those men already have boyfriends."

"There are three kinds of people: The ones who learn by reading. The ones who learn by observation. And the rest of them who have to touch fire to learn that it’s hot."

"What if there were no hypothetical questions?"

"Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?"

"Only in America… Do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters."

"They call it 'PMS' because 'Mad Cow Disease' was already taken."

"People can be divided into three groups: Those who make things happen, those who watch things happen, and those who wonder what happened."

"What is the most important thing to learn in chemistry? Never lick the spoon."

"A friend is someone who will help you move. A BEST friend is someone who will help you move a dead body."

"How do you get a sweet, little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet, little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!"

"Who lit the fuse on your tampon?"

"I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole more as they get older. Then it dawned on me… they were cramming for their finals."

"Don’t piss me off! I’m running outta places to hide the bodies!"

"I tried to hang myself with a bungee chord. I kept almost dying."

"Constipated people don’t give a crap."

"Regular naps prevent old age… Especially if you take them while driving."

"Every so often, I like to go to the window, look up, and smile for a satellite picture."

"Roses are red, violets are blue. I’m schizophrenic, and so am I."

"On tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor."

"Why is it in the U.S.: If you take off all your clothes and walk down the street waving a machete and firing a Uzi, terrified citizens will phone the police and report: 'There’s a naked person outside!' ”

"A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it."

"English people have different ways of saying things. We say 'elevator' they say 'lift.' We say 'president' they say 'stupid psychopathic git.' "

"Your kid may be an honors student, but you’re still an idiot."

"Adults are always telling me that there are starving children in Africa who would love my food, so I'm gonna walk up to a starving child and tell them that there are obese children in America who would love to be as skinny as them."

Copy and Paste, if the only thing you hear now at school is 'Gangnam Style'

98% of girl teens would cry their ass off if they saw Justin Beiber get hit by a car. If you are one of the 3% who would say "Finally my ears will stop bleeding" post this on your profile

If you ever wished you could live in a story, copy and paste this to your profile.

Chocolate is YUMMY! If you are a chocoholic, copy and paste this to your profile.

If several inanimate objects just seem to hate you (STUPID LOCKER!) copy and paste this to your profile.

If you think being unique is cooler than being cool, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever cried when your favorite character in a movie, T.V show, or book died, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever walked into a room then forgot what you were doing, then started walking away and remembered copy this into your profile.

If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word, and you do so at random moments, copy and paste this in you're profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile

If Fanfiction to you is what Facebook is to other people, copy this into your profile.

If you should be doing homework right now, copy this into your profile.

If you get way to excited for books, movies, ect. to come out, copy this into your profile

If you can't live without music copy and paste this on your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever threatened your computer, copy and paste this into your profile

If you love Fanfiction.net, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you like chocolate as much as I do copy this in your profile.

95% of teens would be crying if Justin Bieber was on a 100 ft tall building about to jump. If you are some of the 5% who brought popcorn and friends, copy and paste this to your profile

If Joe Jonas was about to jump off the Eiffel Tower 95% of all the girls in the world would die. Would you be one of the 5% with popcorn yelling "do a flip!"?

If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever laughed so hard you either choked, hyperventilated, had your sides cramp, or all of the above copy and paste this on your profile

If you have ever done anything stupid in your life, copy and paste this into your profile

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think rock paper scissors solves everything then put this in your profile

If you ran up a down escalator copy this into your profile

Of course I'm talking to myself. Who else can I trust?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups..

Whenever someone asks me to define love, I usually think for a minute, then I spin around and pin the guy's arm behind his back. Now who's asking the questions? :)

Copy this and paste it on your profile if you think sarcasm is a conditioned reflex.

If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.

Copy and paste this on your profile if you've wondered why something wasn't working until you realized that it wasn't plugged in.

If you have fallen out of your chair trying to pick something up then copy and paste this.

IF you have tripped on a cord after someone told you to watch out for it then copy this and paste it on your profile.

If you have tripped on a cord after telling someone else to watch out for it, copy and paste this on your profile.

Copy and paste this if you have accidentally gotten a brush stuck in your hair.

If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever yelled at an inanimate object copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever walked into the wrong classroom, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever said something that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you are bored and like to write stuff, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever stopped to look at something in the middle of a busy street, copy this into your profile

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you think that those stupid kids should just give that God-forsaken rabbit the Trix copy this into your profile. (poor rabbit...)

If you have ever pushed a door that said 'Pull' copy this in your profile.

If you know a video game character or video game weapon that need(s) to exist, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up a flight of stairs, copy this, put it in your profile,

92 percent of the teenage population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch and American Egael said that it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. put this in your profile if you're part of the 8 percent that would be laughing your ass off.

Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that stayed with rock, put this in your profile.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90 probability you'll get it wrong.

Those who live by the sword... get shot by those who don't.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

About as subtle as a flying brick

She's more nervous than a long-tailed dog in a room full of rocking chairs

That is pointless, dangerous, and stupid... we jump on three, right?

I'm an author... I write for my amusement. I'm an artist... I sketch for my amusement. I'm a friend... I am amusing. I'm a daughter... I suffer for my parent's amusement.

You say English, we say Japanese

You say cats, we say Nyan Cat

You say swords, we say Bleach

You say souls, we say Soul Eater

You Say Guild, We say FAIRY TAIL

You Say Ninja, We Say Naruto

You say Family, We say Vongola

You say notebook, We say DeathNote

You say countries, we say Hetalia

You say treasure, we say One Piece

You say gamer, we say SAO

You say butler, we say Kuroshitsuji

You say Gay, We say Yaoi

You say Lesbian, we say Yuri

You say reality, we say anime

You say comics, we say manga

You say hello, we say kon'nichiwa

You say stupid, we say baka

You learn Japanese from classes, we learn from shows

You cry if a character dies, we have a rainbow of emotions

You only feel what your favorite person feels, we feel what everyone else is feeling

You crush on pop stars, we crush on anime characters

You think we're crazy, but we think you're just normal

You think we're fangirls/fanboys, but we're all Otakus

Re-Post this if your an Otaku and proud!

The Top 100 Things I'd Do If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord

1. My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones.

2. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.

3. My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.

4. Shooting is not too good for my enemies.

5. The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.

6. I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them.

7. When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No." and shoot him. No, on second thought I'll shoot him then say "No."

8. After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks' time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.

9. I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labelled "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labelled as such.

10. I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum -- a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well.

11. I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat.

12. One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.

13. All slain enemies will be cremated, or at least have several rounds of ammunition emptied into them, not left for dead at the bottom of the cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal.

14. The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any other form of last request.

15. I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation.

16. I will never utter the sentence "But before I kill you, there's just one thing I want to know."

17. When I employ people as advisors, I will occasionally listen to their advice.

18. I will not have a son. Although his laughably under-planned attempt to usurp power would easily fail, it would provide a fatal distraction at a crucial point in time.

19. I will not have a daughter. She would be as beautiful as she was evil, but one look at the hero's rugged countenance and she'd betray her own father.

20. Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly.

21. I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original uniforms for my Legions of Terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look like Nazi stormtroopers, Roman footsoldiers, or savage Mongol hordes. All were eventually defeated and I want my troops to have a more positive mind-set.

22. No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I will not consume any energy field bigger than my head.

23. I will keep a special cache of low-tech weapons and train my troops in their use. That way -- even if the heroes manage to neutralize my power generator and/or render the standard-issue energy weapons useless -- my troops will not be overrun by a handful of savages armed with spears and rocks.

24. I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses. Even though this takes some of the fun out of the job, at least I will never utter the line "No, this cannot be! I AM INVINCIBLE!!" (After that, death is usually instantaneous.)

25. No matter how well it would perform, I will never construct any sort of machinery which is completely indestructible except for one small and virtually inaccessible vulnerable spot.

26. No matter how attractive certain members of the rebellion are, there is probably someone just as attractive who is not desperate to kill me. Therefore, I will think twice before ordering a prisoner sent to my bedchamber.

27. I will never build only one of anything important. All important systems will have redundant control panels and power supplies. For the same reason I will always carry at least two fully loaded weapons at all times.

28. My pet monster will be kept in a secure cage from which it cannot escape and into which I could not accidentally stumble.

29. I will dress in bright and cheery colors, and so throw my enemies into confusion.

30. All bumbling conjurers, clumsy squires, no-talent bards, and cowardly thieves in the land will be preemptively put to death. My foes will surely give up and abandon their quest if they have no source of comic relief.

31. All naive, busty tavern wenches in my realm will be replaced with surly, world-weary waitresses who will provide no unexpected reinforcement and/or romantic subplot for the hero or his sidekick.

32. I will not fly into a rage and kill a messenger who brings me bad news just to illustrate how evil I really am. Good messengers are hard to come by.

33. I won't require high-ranking female members of my organization to wear a stainless-steel bustier. Morale is better with a more casual dress-code. Similarly, outfits made entirely from black leather will be reserved for formal occasions.

34. I will not turn into a snake. It never helps.

35. I will not grow a goatee. In the old days they made you look diabolic. Now they just make you look like a disaffected member of Generation X.

36. I will not imprison members of the same party in the same cell block, let alone the same cell. If they are important prisoners, I will keep the only key to the cell door on my person instead of handing out copies to every bottom-rung guard in the prison.

37. If my trusted lieutenant tells me my Legions of Terror are losing a battle, I will believe him. After all, he's my trusted lieutenant.

38. If an enemy I have just killed has a younger sibling or offspring anywhere, I will find them and have them killed immediately, instead of waiting for them to grow up harboring feelings of vengeance towards me in my old age.

39. If I absolutely must ride into battle, I will certainly not ride at the forefront of my Legions of Terror, nor will I seek out my opposite number among his army.

40. I will be neither chivalrous nor sporting. If I have an unstoppable superweapon, I will use it as early and as often as possible instead of keeping it in reserve.

41. Once my power is secure, I will destroy all those pesky time-travel devices.

42. When I capture the hero, I will make sure I also get his dog, monkey, ferret, or whatever sickeningly cute little animal capable of untying ropes and filching keys happens to follow him around.

43. I will maintain a healthy amount of skepticism when I capture the beautiful rebel and she claims she is attracted to my power and good looks and will gladly betray her companions if I just let her in on my plans.

44. I will only employ bounty hunters who work for money. Those who work for the pleasure of the hunt tend to do dumb things like even the odds to give the other guy a sporting chance.

45. I will make sure I have a clear understanding of who is responsible for what in my organization. For example, if my general screws up I will not draw my weapon, point it at him, say "And here is the price for failure," then suddenly turn and kill some random underling.

46. If an advisor says to me "My liege, he is but one man. What can one man possibly do?", I will reply "This." and kill the advisor.

47. If I learn that a callow youth has begun a quest to destroy me, I will slay him while he is still a callow youth instead of waiting for him to mature.

48. I will treat any beast which I control through magic or technology with respect and kindness. Thus if the control is ever broken, it will not immediately come after me for revenge.

49. If I learn the whereabouts of the one artifact which can destroy me, I will not send all my troops out to seize it. Instead I will send them out to seize something else and quietly put a Want-Ad in the local paper.

50. My main computers will have their own special operating system that will be completely incompatible with standard IBM and Macintosh powerbooks.

51. If one of my dungeon guards begins expressing concern over the conditions in the beautiful princess' cell, I will immediately transfer him to a less people-oriented position.

52. I will hire a team of board-certified architects and surveyors to examine my castle and inform me of any secret passages and abandoned tunnels that I might not know about.

53. If the beautiful princess that I capture says "I'll never marry you! Never, do you hear me, NEVER!!", I will say "Oh well" and kill her.

54. I will not strike a bargain with a demonic being then attempt to double-cross it simply because I feel like being contrary.

55. The deformed mutants and odd-ball psychotics will have their place in my Legions of Terror. However before I send them out on important covert missions that require tact and subtlety, I will first see if there is anyone else equally qualified who would attract less attention.

56. My Legions of Terror will be trained in basic marksmanship. Any who cannot learn to hit a man-sized target at 10 meters will be used for target practice.

57. Before employing any captured artifacts or machinery, I will carefully read the owner's manual.

58. If it becomes necessary to escape, I will never stop to pose dramatically and toss off a one-liner.

59. I will never build a sentient computer smarter than I am.

60. My five-year-old child advisor will also be asked to decipher any code I am thinking of using. If he breaks the code in under 30 seconds, it will not be used. Note: this also applies to passwords.

61. If my advisors ask "Why are you risking everything on such a mad scheme?", I will not proceed until I have a response that satisfies them.

62. I will design fortress hallways with no alcoves or protruding structural supports which intruders could use for cover in a firefight.

63. Bulk trash will be disposed of in incinerators, not compactors. And they will be kept hot, with none of that nonsense about flames going through accessible tunnels at predictable intervals.

64. I will see a competent psychiatrist and get cured of all extremely unusual phobias and bizarre compulsive habits which could prove to be a disadvantage.

65. If I must have computer systems with publically available terminals, the maps they display of my complex will have a room clearly marked as the Main Control Room. That room will be the Execution Chamber. The actual main control room will be marked as Sewage Overflow Containment.

66. My security keypad will actually be a fingerprint scanner. Anyone who watches someone press a sequence of buttons or dusts the pad for fingerprints then subsequently tries to enter by repeating that sequence will trigger the alarm system.

67. No matter how many shorts we have in the system, my guards will be instructed to treat every surveillance camera malfunction as a full-scale emergency.

68. I will spare someone who saved my life sometime in the past. This is only reasonable as it encourages others to do so. However, the offer is good one time only. If they want me to spare them again, they'd better save my life again.

69. All midwives will be banned from the realm. All babies will be delivered at state-approved hospitals. Orphans will be placed in foster-homes, not abandoned in the woods to be raised by creatures of the wild.

70. When my guards split up to search for intruders, they will always travel in groups of at least two. They will be trained so that if one of them disappears mysteriously while on patrol, the other will immediately initiate an alert and call for backup, instead of quizzically peering around a corner.

71. If I decide to test a lieutenant's loyalty and see if he/she should be made a trusted lieutenant, I will have a crack squad of marksmen standing by in case the answer is no.

72. If all the heroes are standing together around a strange device and begin to taunt me, I will pull out a conventional weapon instead of using my unstoppable superweapon on them.

73. I will not agree to let the heroes go free if they win a rigged contest, even though my advisors assure me it is impossible for them to win.

74. When I create a multimedia presentation of my plan designed so that my five-year-old advisor can easily understand the details, I will not label the disk "Project Overlord" and leave it lying on top of my desk.

75. I will instruct my Legions of Terror to attack the hero en masse, instead of standing around waiting while members break off and attack one or two at a time.

76. If the hero runs up to my roof, I will not run up after him and struggle with him in an attempt to push him over the edge. I will also not engage him at the edge of a cliff. (In the middle of a rope-bridge over a river of molten lava is not even worth considering.)

77. If I have a fit of temporary insanity and decide to give the hero the chance to reject a job as my trusted lieutentant, I will retain enough sanity to wait until my current trusted lieutenant is out of earshot before making the offer.

78. I will not tell my Legions of Terror "And he must be taken alive!" The command will be "And try to take him alive if it is reasonably practical."

79. If my doomsday device happens to come with a reverse switch, as soon as it has been employed it will be melted down and made into limited-edition commemorative coins.

80. If my weakest troops fail to eliminate a hero, I will send out my best troops instead of wasting time with progressively stronger ones as he gets closer and closer to my fortress.

81. If I am fighting with the hero atop a moving platform, have disarmed him, and am about to finish him off and he glances behind me and drops flat, I too will drop flat instead of quizzically turning around to find out what he saw.

82. I will not shoot at any of my enemies if they are standing in front of the crucial support beam to a heavy, dangerous, unbalanced structure.

83. If I'm eating dinner with the hero, put poison in his goblet, then have to leave the table for any reason, I will order new drinks for both of us instead of trying to decide whether or not to switch with him.

84. I will not have captives of one sex guarded by members of the opposite sex.

85. I will not use any plan in which the final step is horribly complicated, e.g. "Align the 12 Stones of Power on the sacred altar then activate the medallion at the moment of total eclipse." Instead it will be more along the lines of "Push the button."

86. I will make sure that my doomsday device is up to code and properly grounded.

87. My vats of hazardous chemicals will be covered when not in use. Also, I will not construct walkways above them.

88. If a group of henchmen fail miserably at a task, I will not berate them for incompetence then send the same group out to try the task again.

89. After I captures the hero's superweapon, I will not immediately disband my legions and relax my guard because I believe whoever holds the weapon is unstoppable. After all, the hero held the weapon and I took it from him.

90. I will not design my Main Control Room so that every workstation is facing away from the door.

91. I will not ignore the messenger that stumbles in exhausted and obviously agitated until my personal grooming or current entertainment is finished. It might actually be important.

92. If I ever talk to the hero on the phone, I will not taunt him. Instead I will say this his dogged perseverance has given me new insight on the futility of my evil ways and that if he leaves me alone for a few months of quiet contemplation I will likely return to the path of righteousness. (Heroes are incredibly gullible in this regard.)

93. If I decide to hold a double execution of the hero and an underling who failed or betrayed me, I will see to it that the hero is scheduled to go first.

94. When arresting prisoners, my guards will not allow them to stop and grab a useless trinket of purely sentimental value.

95. My dungeon will have its own qualified medical staff complete with bodyguards. That way if a prisoner becomes sick and his cellmate tells the guard it's an emergency, the guard will fetch a trauma team instead of opening up the cell for a look.

96. My door mechanisms will be designed so that blasting the control panel on the outside seals the door and blasting the control panel on the inside opens the door, not vice versa.

97. My dungeon cells will not be furnished with objects that contain reflective surfaces or anything that can be unravelled.

98. If an attractive young couple enters my realm, I will carefully monitor their activities. If I find they are happy and affectionate, I will ignore them. However if circumstance have forced them together against their will and they spend all their time bickering and criticizing each other except during the intermittent occasions when they are saving each others' lives at which point there are hints of sexual tension, I will immediately order their execution.

99. Any data file of crucial importance will be padded to 1.45Mb in size.

100. Finally, to keep my subjects permanently locked in a mindless trance, I will provide each of them with free unlimited Internet access.

This Evil Overlord List is Copyright 1996-1997 by Peter Anspach. If you enjoy it, feel free to pass it along or post it anywhere, provided that (1) it is not altered in any way, and (2) this copyright notice is attached