PkmnMaster Rolf
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Joined 05-30-13, id: 4757640, Profile Updated: 10-06-14
Author has written 4 stories for Pokémon.

(The important bit is at the bottom.)

Hello! I am Pokemon Master Rolf! I got my first Pokemon game when I was ten and have loved the series ever since.

I'm a guy and I plan to marry a girl one day. You can call me Rolf.

I made this account to practice my writing skills, so make sure you tell me what you think. PM me if you want me to read your stuff, and I'll do the same for you. I like Anime/Manga and Games stories the best.

Stories I know best:

Fullmetal Alchemist

D. Gray Man

Black Cat

Fairy Tail

Rurouni Kenshin

Pokemon

Portal

Fire Emblem

Legend of Zelda

If you have a story in any of the above and want some input, just ask. I will be putting up a Beta reader profile eventually.

And now, some random thoughts:

Build a man a fire, you keep him warm for a day. SET a man on fire, you keep him warm for the rest of his life.

I was walking through a graveyard one day when I saw a tombstone that read, "Construction complete: thank you for your patience."

A man walks into a bar. You think he would have seen it.

Another man walks into a bar. The bartender demands angrily, "Is this a joke?"

(Read the whole thing before you get accidently offended)

Intolerance is a beautiful thing. Bono was intolerant of AIDS. Mother Theresa was intolerant of poverty. Gandi was intolerant of violence and persecution. Nelson Mandela was intolerant of racism. And Jesus was intolerant of bigots. (Read the Bible and you'll get why I say that)

Madness takes a toll. Please have exact change.

More about me.

Some may hate me for saying this, but I am a Christian AND a follower of Christ. What I mean by this is that I take Gandhi's criticism to heart when he said "I like your Christ, but not your Christians." I try to be the type of person you actually would LIKE while at the same time not compromising my beliefs. I find I get a lot less angry people shouting at me that way. As such, I try to be polite and respectful to everyone, regardless of their beliefs, and will calmly and rationally talk to anyone who is interested about my faith. It may appear in my writing, but unless you look for it I don't think you will notice it. If you do, you can either move on with the story (like I do when I encounter stuff I don't necessarily agree with) or you can send me a PM and hopefully we can resolve the issue like civilized humans.

I believe literature of any kind is where people of any conviction can express their thoughts. I may not choose to read them, and it's up to you whether you read what I write, but since I don't have anything planned that I think would offend anyone (though I'm sure someone somewhere would find a way to be offended if I said 'peaches are funny') I hope you enjoy my stories no matter what you believe.

My thoughts on various issues:

1 Guys treat girls like toilets. It needs to stop. NOW.

Let me explain a bit. Most guys have a one-track mind when it comes to relationships. They want a receptacle (aka, a girlfriend) that they can use to answer the call of nature (aka, sex drive). I do not ascribe to that philosophy. I try to be a gentleman in more ways than just getting the door.

A gentleman never pushes a girl into a compromising situation. He never deceives her. He never uses her. He always respects her, cares for her, and treats her like she is the most important thing in his life right then. More so even than the President of the U.S. of A.

Guys who screw around are like boys who can't control themselves. They are slaves to their own lust. A Gentle-MAN (notice the capitals) is the one sitting in the corner who smiles and asking you how your day went. Ladies, the one you want is the one you consider a friend. He's most likely the only one who has matured enough not to be chasing all the mini-skirts in your entire contacts list.

2 I heard a frightening statistic the other day. One in five boys one in seven girls will be sexually abused by the time he or she reaches eighteen. This...enrages me, even to the point where I would pick up the nearest gun and start shooting (and I go out of my way to save frogs and lizards that try to hide in the door jamb of my supply shed). Jesus (the guy whose teachings I follow) said that it would be better for a man to be tossed into the ocean with a giant boulder tied to his neck than hurt a child. I don't care if you dislike everything else on my profile, THIS MUST STOP!!!

And to all you drug dealers, pedophiles, and abusive caretakers out there, you had better be afraid, because if I find you hurting a child, I don't care what age, race, gender, or condition, I will do everything in my power to stop you, even if it means I DIE in the process! YOU GOT THAT?!! I'm dead serious about this and I am not backing down!

3 Abortion. A lot's been said about it. I feel no need to go into great depth and rehash old arguments. However, were it not for some woman who I will never meet who had the COURAGE to go through with her pregnancy even though she could never keep her baby and had to put him up for adoption, I would not be here today. 'Nuff said.

4 They tell me that with all the texting, etc. that attention spans are decreasing an people are losing the ability to daydream. If you still can, proudly proclaim it to the world!


I suppose that to some, I must seem to be the greatest of all villains. I am a straight, white, Christian, conservative, male American. But even more than that, I believe in one of the most evil and outdated concepts ever: absolute truth.

Why, though? Why does that automatically ensure that people will scream at me day after day about how I am what is wrong with the world? The same people who barely bat an eyelash at hundreds of girls being kidnapped and forced into sex slavery? Am I really a greater villain than Stalin and Hitler, who can be discussed in quite calm, academic terms, because I believe that there really is only one Truth?

I come with a message of hope! Of peace and happiness! Why? Tell me why is it wrong to believe that God loves you and me and has a wonderful plan for our lives? I want to save the world! I want to make it a place where children can sleep in their mother's arms and never know fear nor the pain and anguish! I want it to be a place where men love women and don't use them toys! Where love, peace, and good cheer blaze like beacons from every household! Isn't that what everyone wants? But how can that be unless we realize that the universe is built on love? The love of God, who sent his Son, Jesus Christ, to make the ultimate sacrifice?

I only want to tell people that there is a better way! A way without shame, without fear! And yet I and my friends are reviled and mocked! The name of our God is used as a curse word, the foulest type of speech anyone can make! So tell me why? What have I done to deserve your unending hate?

I do not hate you! You are not my enemy! If I hated you, I would shut up and go away. But I would be friends with all humanity! I am tired of being your enemy. I am tired of being mocked, scorned, hated because I believe there is a better way and am so grateful I found it that I want to share it so everyone can experience the joy I have found! And yet...I am the villain. The villain who asks with tears in his eyes what he has done wrong. I am tired, so tired. Sometimes I wish I could just lay down, go to sleep, and never wake up, peacefully dreaming until the world ends. But then, I would be abandoning you and, as much as you hate me, I cannot bring myself to do that.

And so instead, I am extending my hand in friendship, not animosity. You may end up listening to me talk about my antiquated religion, but just know that I am equally willing to listen to you. I am willing to help in whatever way I can. I will prove I am not a villain! Just give me the chance to do so!

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

The Path of the Aura II: Brothers in Arms by GameManiac reviews
Direct sequel to "The Path of the Aura: Intertwining Crossroads". With the Void of the Dark One now recognized as a looming threat, two groups in two different worlds must do their part in preventing this great evil from coming to light. Rated "T" for blood, language, and violence. "Chapter XLV (45)" up. Wanderer Lucario's frigid elemental plate search leads to a realized past.
Pokémon - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 28 - Words: 518,607 - Reviews: 58 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 7/23 - Published: 6/24/2013 - Arceus, Lucario, Riolu, OC
Thunder and Ice by Shadow Snivy reviews
Sugarcane Forest. It's home to a timid, self-conscious glaceon, a manipulative luxray, and a quirky jolteon that's new to these trees. After moving, Thunder never expected such horrific chaos—or to be engulfed right into it. Now turmoil ensues and Thunder, his new life teeming with romance, silliness, and bloodshed, is ensnared into this havoc until insanity reaches past its peak.
Pokémon - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 39 - Words: 272,899 - Reviews: 315 - Favs: 108 - Follows: 112 - Updated: 7/17 - Published: 3/4/2013 - Glaceon/Glacia, Jolteon/Thunders, Luxray/Rentorar
The Perfect Escape by Mr. Skiperdoo reviews
Fox is spending the week at a beautiful resort on Zoness with his friend. He doesn't quite remember how he got there, but he knows that everything's perfect, a little too perfect.
Star Fox - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Adventure - Chapters: 18 - Words: 98,491 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 4/10 - Published: 5/2/2013 - Fox M., Falco L.
The Adventures of Absol by neaucleareactor5 reviews
Absol, who has no love for humans, gets caught by the one creature he deems unnecessary to be on the planet. Humans. That is, until he meets the loving and unconfident trainer April, who takes him on an adventure riddled with excitement and danger. Point of View: Absol.
Pokémon - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 59 - Words: 215,125 - Reviews: 297 - Favs: 154 - Follows: 137 - Updated: 3/2 - Published: 3/29/2014 - Red, Absol, OC - Complete
The Human Species by Shaded Skies reviews
Humanity has finally gotten fed up with their fragile position in the world of Pokémon. Gathering the best of trainers, they have decided to subdue or dispose of every powerful Pokémon in existence. The strong will expire as a large conflict between Pokémon and humans arises… But which side of the conflict will you end up on when you are neither Pokémon nor human…?
Pokémon - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 120 - Words: 420,094 - Reviews: 711 - Favs: 209 - Follows: 216 - Updated: 1/31 - Published: 12/27/2010 - Lucario, Mew, Weavile/Manyula, Zoroark
Diplomatic Troubles by Imperator Justinian reviews
A satire on how diplomacy works in Civilization 5. When Justinian is forced into a variety of troublesome diplomatic situations, from demanding neighbors to deranged warmongers, he is forced to use all of his diplomatic skill to get through it. Or maybe just a sarcastic remark.
Civilization Series - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 10,113 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 11/19/2014 - Published: 4/19/2014 - Justinian, Bismarck, Oda Nobunaga, Montezuma - Complete
Four Paws by destinedjagold reviews
A two-legged human creature suddenly woke up as a fictional creature on four paws, and must travel this new yet familiar world as he tries to find a way back home. Join him in his quest with other PKMN friends as he makes every boring dead air into something to talk about...at least he tries to. Cover art by dukacia on deviantArt
Pokémon - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 101 - Words: 145,266 - Reviews: 310 - Favs: 179 - Follows: 172 - Updated: 8/27/2014 - Published: 7/22/2013 - Eevee/Eievui, Vulpix/Rokon - Complete
Keldeo the Critic- Season Three by Matthais Unidostres reviews
Say hi to Keldeo the Critic, and this summer, he's reviewing Pokemon Fanfiction when he's not training with the Swords of Justice. With a his loyal friends and occasional special guests, Keldeo will be putting out FanFic reviews and editorials for a Season of the best critiques of the highest quality! There will still NOT be any bashing or ranting.
Crossover - Pokémon & Web Shows - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 46,560 - Reviews: 64 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 7/18/2014 - Published: 5/9/2014 - [Keldeo, Meloetta] OC, Nostalgia Critic - Complete
The Black Latios by Mekon reviews
After losing in the Sinnoh league, Ash and his friends head back home but make a stop in Altomare to visit some old friends. However, it's a start of a new adventure as unexpected changes befall upon our young hero that could decide the fate of the world. - Image provided by Rubius! You can find a link to him on my profile page.
Pokémon - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 30 - Words: 215,703 - Reviews: 1393 - Favs: 1,479 - Follows: 1,303 - Updated: 6/1/2014 - Published: 1/19/2011 - Ash K./Satoshi, Latias
I Am Lucario by lupyne reviews
Along with an Absol and Eevee, a wild Lucario pursues his hobby of human-watching, studying the behaviours of people and Pokémon in the city while trying to prevent a predicted disaster from destroying his home. Ch 17: The Concealed Turnabout
Pokémon - Rated: T - English - Friendship - Chapters: 17 - Words: 300,407 - Reviews: 484 - Favs: 348 - Follows: 303 - Updated: 5/18/2014 - Published: 5/15/2009 - Lucario, Eevee/Eievui, Absol
Keldeo the Critic- Season Two by Matthais Unidostres reviews
He's Keldeo the Critic, and he's back to reviewing Pokemon Fanfiction when he's not training with the Swords of Justice. Oh don't worry, his movie is still coming, but that's FAR in the future. For now, Keldeo is going to take his time, reviewing a story or two a month while doing a few editorials, maybe. There will stiil NOT be any bashing or ranting.
Crossover - Pokémon & Web Shows - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 47 - Words: 191,107 - Reviews: 260 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 4/13/2014 - Published: 9/20/2013 - Keldeo, Meloetta, Nostalgia Critic - Complete
444 Things I'm Not Allowed to Do in Amestris by Do a Barrel Roll reviews
There are lots of things you shouldn't do if you want to survive in Amestris...too bad our favorite characters are going to do it all anyway. The country can use all the chaos it can get! How many headaches can one group of people cause? Let's find out!
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 29 - Words: 37,896 - Reviews: 1256 - Favs: 506 - Follows: 416 - Updated: 4/9/2014 - Published: 3/22/2012 - Edward E., Roy M., Alphonse E., Riza H.
Keldeo The Critic- Season One by Matthais Unidostres reviews
Keldeo of the Swords of Justice reviews Pokemon Fanfiction! The comments expressed in this review are written in such a way so that negative aspects are used to create jokes. There will NOT be any bashing or ranting. Also, good things in a FanFic will be praised. Particularly bad FanFictions WON'T be totally thrashed, but expect to see major grievances addressed.
Crossover - Pokémon & Web Shows - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 62 - Words: 205,173 - Reviews: 239 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 9/11/2013 - Published: 2/15/2013 - Keldeo, Meloetta, Nostalgia Critic - Complete
Upstream by Espeonage Espeon reviews
Never before had it ever been seen... Never before had the feat been done... Never before had the highest tiered fallen... Never before had the lowest won. "Time flows in all directions, but only those who swim upstream see that."
Pokémon - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 6 - Words: 10,380 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 9/8/2013 - Published: 4/5/2013 - Magikarp
The Haunting of CRV Starghast by Tobias Umbra reviews
On a secretive corporate research vessel, something has gone horribly wrong. When the newly-reformed Team StarFox is hired to investigate, they encounter terrors beyond their imagination. What started as a simple contract is now a fight to survive the night...and prevent the extermination of all life in the Lylat System. What is dead can never die.
Star Fox - Rated: T - English - Horror/Suspense - Chapters: 11 - Words: 101,578 - Reviews: 106 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 6/21/2013 - Published: 10/7/2012 - Fox M., Krystal - Complete
The Path of the Aura: Intertwining Crossroads by GameManiac reviews
A Pokémon/real world FanFic. Eduardo: Man of Bulwark. Xeno Lucario: Aura Pokémon of Prophecy. Two different and complicated stories from two individuals on two different worlds, meeting together into one shared story. Rated T for blood, language, and graphic violence. (PS: "The Path of the Aura II: Brothers in Arms" is now up!).
Pokémon - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 25 - Words: 353,009 - Reviews: 109 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 4/21/2013 - Published: 8/31/2011 - Giovanni/Sakaki, Mewtwo, Lucario, OC - Complete
Pokemon The Twilight Zone by Matthais Unidostres reviews
These are tales in which the mysterious Matthais Unidostres, in place of Rod Serling, takes you on adventures of the Twilight Zone within the world of Pokemon. Ash, the gang, and other Pokemon will be in the middle of spine chilling tales...
Crossover - Pokémon & Twilight Zone - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Mystery - Chapters: 5 - Words: 12,083 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 1/2/2013 - Published: 2/9/2011
Lucario Stands by The Flying Lion reviews
A short inner monologue of what makes Lucario who he is and why he goes on. *Very short ficlet, meant to inspire "cool" Lucario related stories*
Pokémon - Rated: K - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 119 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Published: 12/22/2012 - Lucario - Complete
The Retelling of Pokemon Colosseum by bobandbill reviews
My retake on the game Pokemon Colosseum, with all things 'explained' and in the form of a comedy. Why DID Wes blow up Team Snagem's base? How would people really react if you stole their Pokemon? What's with Miror B's hair anyway? Read to find out!
Pokémon - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 30 - Words: 190,227 - Reviews: 284 - Favs: 330 - Follows: 140 - Updated: 2/18/2012 - Published: 11/24/2007 - Wes/Leo, Rui/Mirei - Complete
Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood by P.T. Piranha reviews
Ed, Al, and all the others were in an anime once. Now all over again in Brotherhood. How will this turn out for everyone in Amestris? Who can be the most annoying while inside Gluttony- Ed, Ling, or Envy?
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 26 - Words: 88,758 - Reviews: 84 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 1/10/2012 - Published: 6/14/2011 - Edward E., Alphonse E.
Perish Song by Lady Absolute reviews
Disasters have always happened. But they have always had the heroes who alert others. But do the people ever listen? Never. Not for an Absol.
Pokémon - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 520 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/28/2011 - Absol - Complete
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The Further Adventures of Spirit the Absol reviews
Alright, fine! You all want to hear more? I'll tell you more! Sit down and don't interrupt me. So yeah, after the whole fiasco I told you about last time, things went pretty well. No undead armies trying to kill me and Mew gained some level of sanity. Doesn't mean life was easy. Life in the International Police can get very...strange at times.
Pokémon - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Crime - Chapters: 6 - Words: 23,903 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 42 - Updated: 5/6 - Published: 11/2/2014 - Lucario, Absol, Ninetales/Kyukon, Abra/Casey
The Day of Burning Skies reviews
The Meteor Crisis has been averted. Time flows on as it always has and Darkness has been cast down once again. Even the Bittercold could not prevail. But now, something far older even then Dialga, Palkia, and Giratina is stirring in the pit of the Reverse World, testing its bonds for weakness. The Forgotten One, the Bringer of Corruption, will return to rewrite the world.
Pokémon - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Supernatural - Chapters: 14 - Words: 103,787 - Reviews: 84 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 4/2 - Published: 6/23/2014 - Lucario, Jolteon/Thunders
200 Things NOT to do in Pokemon reviews
The World of Pokémon is a wonderful place. However, there are certain things you should never do if you value your life. What happens if you do them anyway? Well, you might just wind up with a starring role in Mew's latest chaotic scheme: a T.V. show dedicated to all the craziness the World of Pokémon has to offer! What hijinks lie in wait? Who knows! This is MEW after all!
Pokémon - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 30,972 - Reviews: 102 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 41 - Updated: 3/9 - Published: 10/17/2014 - Mew, Espeon/Eifie, Umbreon/Blacky
A Spirit's Journey reviews
A story, you say? Well, I know a few of those. Some of them are about me, and some of those are even true. This one's one of my favorites. It's how I came to be the Absol I am today. Of course, I didn't like it then, but that's how it always is with life. It's kind of funny that way. It starts with me running down the slopes of Mt. Coronet...
Pokémon - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 39 - Words: 158,975 - Reviews: 302 - Favs: 110 - Follows: 95 - Updated: 6/23/2014 - Published: 5/31/2013 - Absol, Ninetales/Kyukon - Complete
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