Author has written 27 stories for Naruto, Harry Potter, Yamada and the 7 Witches/山田くんと7人の魔女, Rokka: Braves of the Six Flowers/六花の勇者, Detective Conan/Case Closed, My Hero Academia/僕のヒーローアカデミア, Angels of Death, Kaguya-sama: Love is War, Jujutsu Kaisen/呪術廻戦, Genshin Impact, Attack on Titan/進撃の巨人, Spy x Family, Hogwarts Legacy, Noragami/ノラガミ, and Katekyo Hitman Reborn!. Looping links: Daughter of Evil: cover sang by Ketsuban, lyrics translated by lordxwillie Servant of Evil: cover and lyrics both by Enn Regret Message: cover and lyrics both by Ketsuban Fanworks of my fics are allowed as long as I'm credited. However, please ask for permission before using my fic for a youtube video, especially if you plan to monetize it. ALL my old fics are on hiatus until further notice! ALL newer fics are crossposted on AO3 under the same username! Name: TETRACIDE Fandoms (completed, in progress, not yet): Naruto OTPs: Gumlee (Adventure Time), WildeHopps (Zootopia), Shinkai (Detective Conan), Sengen (Dr. STONE), Damianya (SxF), Yuright (SxF), Horishima (GSNK), GoGe (JJK), Yuucho (JJK), TaeHobin (How to Fight), SeongHobin (How to Fight), Joongdok (Omniscient Reader), Erejean (AOT), Legosi x Louis (BEASTARS), Janiel/Day (Lookism) Fav animes: 1. Attack on Titan Fav manga: 1. Omniscient Reader (webtoon) Favorite Characters: 1. Lelouch (Code Geass) Hated Characters: 1. Yuno Gasai (Future Diary) Dislike: Mpreg. Genderbent canon opposite sex characters. Can't stand it. Characters who deserve the world (must protecc!!): Mitsuki (Boruto) Quote: "You get what you give." Want reviews? Then give reviews. "If I'm the sun, you're the moon, because when I rise, you go down." -Suga (BTS) "Haters gonna hate. Players gonna play. Live a life, man. Good luck." -RM (BTS) "It's not about winning; it's about wanting to win." -some 11 yr old child "It takes a real hero to be the villain." -Me, when talking about Lelouch TAT "What brings us together is far more important than what sets us apart." -Jesse Enkamp (Youtube "I Fought A Muay Thai Champion") “You can’t wait until life isn’t hard anymore, before you decide to be happy.” Nightbirde/Jane Marczewski “It's important that everyone knows I'm so much more than the bad things that happen to me.” Nightbirde/Jane Marczewski “Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.” Helen Keller/Oswald Cobblepot "If the heroes run away, who's left to help?" -Saitama (OPM) "Villains are the one that want to change the society, whereas heroes are fighting for it remains the same." -somebody online "Fake people have an image to maintain, real people just don't care." -Hikigaya Hachiman (Oregairu) "Life is too bitter, so coffee, at least, should be sweet." -Hikigaya Hachiman (Oregairu) "Never apologize for saying what you feel. That's like saying sorry for being real." -Hikigaya Hachiman (Oregairu) "A problem is not a problem as long as nobody sees it as one." -Hikigaya Hachiman (Oregairu) "It is better to be hated for what you are, than to be loved for what you are not." -Hikigaya Hachiman (Oregairu) "Don’t you understand basic concepts like politeness? The first thing I did was give a self introduction. To ask why you're going to introduce yourself, that's because it's the most important thing to start as a relationship. No matter what kind of relationship, isn’t it necessary to start with an acquaintanceship where we both know each other? So, just because I'm someone who cares about such things, I often think that no matter to whom, I will be as friendly as possible. I’m not saying that there isn’t a chance that the other party is shy. Even if you think you want to become well-connected, when you start by introducing yourself, something in you always cannot help but hesitate. Out of consideration for those types of people, I try to introduce myself as much as possible and act in order to create a space where they feel comfortable. Of course, I don’t expect this grace to be immediately obvious. However, I do have hopes that after some time, they will be able to detect the meaning of an introductions. Or, rather, that they will become aware of it. Or is it natural to talk to someone you meet for the first time without introducing yourself? If that’s the case, then there’s a slight difference between my common sense and culture. In that case, although both parties feel a sense of obligation, it becomes necessary to refuse the other side in advance so as to prevent a misunderstanding. Isn’t that so different from what I said before, taking being gentle with each other for granted? In fact, saying so feels impolite. And that’s a loss of etiquette, and the other party is left with a lesser value. A false assessment of each other’s value imposes on others. This is a violation of the rights of others. From any rational perspective, this is an infringement of my rights." -Regulus Corneas (Re: Zero) "Some people think I'm unhappy, but I'm not. I just appreciate silence in a world that never stops talking." -Oreki Houtarou (Hyouka) "I'm not stupid. I'm just too lazy to show how smart I am." -Oreki Houtarou (Hyouka) "Don't change so people will like you. Be yourself and the right people will love the real you." -Oreki Houtarou (Hyouka) "I don't care if no one likes me. I wasn't created in this world to entertain everyone." -Oreki Houtarou (Hyouka) "Enjoy your life today. Yesterday is gone, and tomorrow might never come." -Takeshi Yamamoto (KHR) "One who loses their calm, loses the fight before it even starts." -Colonello (KHR) "Don't think. Feel." -Superbia Squalo (KHR) "If you need children to fight your battles, then you mafia are the ones that have a problem." -Tsuna from the KHR/JJK fic "Bad Influence" by Emric84 "A drifting Cloud, whom cannot be bound. Protecting the famiglia from an independent standpoint. Creating from nothing into something, turning something into nothing; bewildering the enemy, so making the famiglia untouchable. To draw damage to himself and away from the rest of the Famiglia, serving as a lightning rod. Destroying the misfortune that attacks the Famiglia with their own body, they become the Sun that brightly shines upon an area. To square away conflict and wash away the blood spilled. The Requiem of Rain. Continuously at the heart of the attack, the furious Storm that never rests. Sun, Lightning, Storm, Rain, Mist, Cloud He envelops them all, he accepts them all. That is the Sky's purpose." -a KHR quote by anonymous "For want of a nail the shoe was lost. For want of a shoe the horse was lost. For want of a horse the rider was lost. For want of a rider the message was lost. For want of a message the battle was lost. For want of a battle the kingdom was lost. And all for the want of a horseshoe nail." -proverb "All people are nothing but tools. It doesn't matter how it's done. It doesn't matter wat needs to be sacrificed. In this world, winning is everything. As long as I win in the end... That's all that matters." -Kiyotaka Ayanokouji (Classroom of The Elite) "Why say something when you don't mean it?" -Kiyotaka Ayanokouji (Classroom of The Elite) "There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside of you." -Maya Angelou (author/poet) "Everyone is the main character of their own life." -Kuroba Kaito (Magic Kaito) "Don't go searching for the cruelties of the world, if you can avoid it." -Haibara Ai from fic "To Fall In Love With One You Cannot Ever See" by RavenShira "Pick your battles Eren, or you will never win any of them." -Mikasa from AoT fic "The Hunter" by Adishailan "It may appear reckless. One layer of an egg’s shell, cast against a stone will surely break. But no matter how strong a stone, it is dead. And no matter how weak an egg, it is alive. When time passes a stone will crumble into dirt. But someday there is a chick who will hatch from that egg and walk upon that dirt. The day will come when the Japanese empire’s murderous tyranny and oppression cannot defeat that egg." -Damsari (Bridal Mask) "If you don't build your dream, someone will hire you to build theirs." -Tony Gaskins "Cheer up, you’re never alone! There is probably at least 1 bug in your room." -internet “Keep your eyes focused on the problem, not the distraction.” -Cave313 (youtube), a martial art instructor "You can always die. It's living that takes real courage." -Himura Kenshin (Rurouni Kenshin) "Whatever you lose you'll find it again, but what you throw away you'll never get it back." -Himura Kenshin (Rurouni Kenshin) "So, tell me where should I go? To the left, where nothing is Right... Or to the right, where nothing is left?" -Itachi Uchiha (Naruto) "And if your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away." -Jesus (Matthew 18:9) "To deceive your enemy, begin with your ally." -Hattori Heiji "Don't break anyone's heart, they only have one. Break their bones, they have 206." -Ichigo Kurosaki (Bleach) "Those who are left behind in a fight or are in the way aren't the ones who lack power. They're the ones who lack resolve." -Rukia Kuchiki (Bleach) "I want something good to die for, to make it beautiful to live." -Go with the Flow (Queens of the Stone Age) "Even if there's a wide world and stories beyond the main focus, I don't think it's necessary to end with the protagonist having been involved in everything." -Yagi Norihiro "If your character is strong, let them break. If your character is selfless, let them get mad. If your character is mean, give them a moment of kindness. If your character is a heartbroken victim, let them smile. If your character has lost everything, let them find something. If your character is always positive, let them cry. When you write a character, write a person who can feel anything. Show their other sides. Let them fail and succeed. Every emotion is valid, even if it means giving your stereotypical sunshine character a moment of darkness or your stoic warrior a moment to laugh." -@Every losers destiny "Never trust a survivor until you know how they survived." -Kurt Vonnegut "People with nothing to hide are likely to give a short and concise response." -JCS (The Case of Lee Rodarte) "If they stand behind you, protect them. If they stand beside you, respect them. If they stand against you, defeat them." -Unknown "To make a tragedy, you break something beautiful and frame the pieces. To make a victory, you break something mighty and rebuild it piece by piece. To make a life, you glue the pieces together and hope for the best." -Naruto fic "reverse" by blackkat "The power of suggestion, the implication of a rule, the illusion of a choice. It’s a common tactic: when you tell people they can have ‘A, B, or C’ how many would ask ‘what about X or Z?’" -Loki from "Mischief's Child" by Kaiya12053 "Often there is regret for saying too much, and seldom regret in too little said." -Loki from "Mischief's Child" by Kaiya12053 "We are all bad in someone's story." -Kimberly Flanagan "Your job as author is not to worry about theme. Your job is to just move your characters from place to place. Theme is the readers' job. Just write your story." -anonymous teacher "Who only choose what they know will never experience that joy. Its the joy of learning how to do something you couldn't do before.(要是一开始只选择自己能做到的事情,那么就永远无法前进。重要的是你自身有没有兴趣这一点不是吗?)" -Shinji Tokita (Grand Blue) “在中国待久了,会对美有很狭隘的偏见,觉得美就是年轻,是白皮大眼长发细腿,一走出去,看见其他国家种族人,才警觉美是多丰富的事情,七十岁涂口红穿大露背的old lady,裹着头巾一笑露出洁白牙齿的中东少女,跳弗拉明戈的胖胖女人,皮肤晒的黑里透红的南法姑娘,赤脚奔跑在非洲草原上的女孩儿,那些都是极美的。你不会去管她们的身形是高矮胖瘦,肤色是黑白红黄,不论五官精致与否,她们实在太生动丰富,生机勃勃而又从容不迫,让人信服的美。” -unknown "Scam a thousand dollars, and you are a thief. If the amount becomes a billion, you are a financier. Break a small promise, you become a conman. If you betray the trust of millions of people, you are a politician." -Switch (kdrama) “I’d like to thank my parents for conceiving me. My dad, for his genetically crap eyesight. My eye doctor, for prescribing me glasses that I refuse to wear. My arms, because they are always by my side. My legs, for always supporting me, except that one time I fell down the stairs. My fingers, because I can always count on them. And my hips, for not lying." -Stiles from "Airport Antics" by multifandomer "In a fight it didn't matter if you were male or female, if you were born in poverty or royalty. In a fight... you were just two people." -Harry Potter from "Fairy Tail" by Araceil If you gain courage because a thousand people are standing behind you, then you can only win a war. But if a thousand people get courage because you are standing in front of them, you can conquer the world." -KGF "Through action, a Man becomes a Hero. Through death, a Hero becomes a Legend. Through time, a Legend becomes a Myth. And by learning from the Myth, a Man takes action." -Unknown on the Internet "You can't change anything unless you can discard part of yourself too. To surpass monsters, you must be willing to abandon your humanity." -Armin Arlert (Attack on Titan) "People who are unable to abandon anything will fail to bring about any change." -Armin Arlert (Attack on Titan) "I don't like the terms "good person" or "bad person" because it's impossible to be entirely good to everyone or entirely bad to everyone. To some, you're a good person, while to others, you're a bad person." -Armin Arlert (Attack on Titan) "You're only resorting to physical abuse because you can't prove that I'm wrong." -Armin Arlert (Attack on Titan) There's always a little knowledge behind every 'I don't know.'" -Konoha Kokonose (Mekakucity Actor) There's always a little emotion behind every 'I don't care.'" -Kisaragi Shintaro (Mekakucity Actor) There's always a little pain behind every 'I'm okay.'" -Tateyama Ayano (Mekakucity Actor) "I'm proud of my heart. It's been played, stabbed, cheated, burned and broken but somehow it still works." -Kano Shuuya (Mekakucity Actor) "What's better? A lie that draws a smile? or the truth that draws a tear?" -Kano Shuuya (Mekakucity Actor) "Being the bad guy doesn't matter, as long as I don't see the people I care about getting hurt." -Kano Shuuya (Mekakucity Actor) "Dealing with backstabbers, there was one thing I've learned. They're only powerful when your back is turned." -Kano Shuuya (Mekakucity Actor) "The ones who notice the storm in your eyes, the silence in your voice, and the heaviness in your heart, are the ones you need to let in." -Kido Tsubomi (Mekakucity Actor) "Before creation there must be destruction. If my soul stands in the way, then I'll toss it aside. Yes, I have no choice but to move forward." -Lelouch (Code Geass) "The world cannot be changed with pretty words alone." -Lelouch (Code Geass) "To defeat evil, I shall become an even greater evil." -Lelouch (Code Geass) "If the king doesn't move, then his subjects won't follow." -Lelouch (Code Geass) "The only ones who should kill are those prepared to be killed." -Lelouch (Code Geass) “What do you do when there is an evil you cannot defeat by just means? Do you stain your hands with evil to destroy evil? Or do you remain steadfastly just and righteous even if it means surrendering to evil?” -Lelouch (Code Geass) "With discipline and every hour that I've trained... The tallest mountain started as a stone... I once was weak but now I've grown... I know the weakness within is my greatest foe... The mortal man I used to be has died... There's gods inside my fist tonight... I'll stay until i taste the dirt of defeat someday..." -Jonathan Young ("The Hero" cover) "True strength is not about for standing at the top. It's for being able to protect and hold on to your dear ones(“強さ”は何かの上に立つため 在るんじゃない 大切なものを抱きしめるそのために。)-"Polaris" (My Hero op 4) "Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everyone you meet." -James Mattis "Don't search for Death. Death will come to you." -Blood Drama "A true hero isn't measured by the size of his strength but by the strength of his heart." -Zeus from Disney “Crying does not indicate that you are weak. Since birth, it has always been a sign that you are alive.” -Charlotte Bronte "Jane Eyre" "First, save him. Before concerning yourself over yourself, go rescue others. Don't brandish your power for your own sake. Becoming seized by hatred for the enemy before your eyes, merely to satisfy your own selfish desires... That is the act furthest from the title of 'Hero.'" -Stain from My Hero Academia ("When a villain has to tell you how to be a hero, you know something's really wrong." Chibi Reviews) "If all you ever do is look down on people, you won't be able to recognize your own weaknesses." -Bakugo Katsuki (MHA) "A complex thing is just a lot of simple things arranged together. They're either spread horizontally, so it appears vast, or they're stacked vertically, so it appears deep." -Asher Nitin “There's something wrong with people who seek reality in fiction. (フィクションにリアリティを求める奴のほうがどうかしていると思うが)” -Kyon (Haruhi) “上天给予再好,也终究活不过百,给予再不好,也活不过百。有些时候,活下来,就是对自己最好的祝福。” -random person online “有时在睁开眼睛醒来还尚且朦胧时,会突然感觉自己似乎忘记了某件很重要的事情。但待到意识清明时,稍一回想便发现并没有忘记什么。自己,根本就没有那种重要到不能忘记的事情。没有重要到不能忘记的事情,那是因为从未有过这种重要到不能忘记的记忆,也就意味着从未经历过那种重要到不能忘记的事情,也就代表着,这个人,活着跟死着是一样的,这个人,可以被任何一个人替代。” -很适合佐井Sai的一句话 (Naruto) "If you believe this place holds you, it is a prison. If you do not wish to leave, it will become a fortress." -Princess Mononoke "I don't believe you should live your life on "ifs". I don't spend my sundays in church either just in the offchance there's a god. If I think something is true, then I act accordingly. If I think it's not true, then I ignore it, I don't work around it just in case." -Player "Destroys [67441]" in Torn City "When I'm born I'm black, when I grow up I'm black, when I'm in the sun I'm black, when I'm sick I'm black, when I die I'm black, and you... when you're born you're pink, when you grow up you're white, when you're cold you're blue, when you're sick you're blue, when you die you're green and you dare call me colored." Oglala Lakota F.R.I.E.N.D.S Fight for you Respect you Involve you Encourage you Need you Deserve you Save you BTS (2019) 7 MEN 6 YEARS TOGETHER 5 DIFFERENT PLACES 4 VOCALISTS 3 RAPPERS 2 SIDES OF THE STORY 1 GROUP THAT CHANGED WORLD 0 CHANCES TO FORGET THEM Youtube comment When "the day" has come I'll throw up a "peace sign" And "singing to the sky" Even though it's "odd future" But I'll "make my story" In the dark, I'll always find the way from "polaris" Because you're my "star marker" La Signora poem by Iamaperson (youtube) A fair lady with nothing left to lose, The final duel was her to choose... Yet all that came to her was a fire- It burned her for revenge's desire... Something once was taken from her, This is what made her anger spur... Yet, even with all her burning passion, The lady that had oh so many shun... Because of that star of the fake sky, That was the reason that she did die... Sleeping in ice was her missing belle... Perhaps, lying in the lowest part of Hell... Stuff copied from others Reviews! Copied from Heartless demon wolf Writers- all of them, from famous authors to subtle FF writers- ALL depend on the feedback from our readers. Vision Dominican brought up an interesting albeit tragically true idea: "Lack of reviews is the greatest killer of fan fic writers out there. We at the institute wish to let the public know of how they can pitch in to save our dying writers. 1) Drop a review every other chapter. It may not seem like much, but reviews are actually what many of us want to see. That, and hits. Hits do make us happy but we don't really know if people like our story or not. 2) Visit our author page. Those kind of hits really make us happy. It's where we showcase our entourage of friends, beta readers, and stories. Some of us even tidy up with set areas for upcoming story ideas and character bios. 3) Send an email. While normally I'd prefer a review, emails are just as good. Really, it warms my heart to communicate with another reader or writer." What you call being "too lazy to review" is what we call "a flame to the pages" as the writers. That one minute or two that you felt "too lazy" to review is another minute of creeping discouragement that all writers feel as they begin to think... "Why am I even here…?" "What's even the point of continuing?" "My skills must be terrible…no one cares for my story…" "I'll never be a good writer...I quit." These are only a few thoughts that go through every writer's head- that go through MY head- when we put out a chapter / story with all our heart and soul within, and we sit there…and sit…and wait…and not a single person says even a word. If you're not a writer, you have NO IDEA how much that hurts… If you ARE a writer, then I'm sure you know just how great it feels when someone is kind enough to leave a heartwarming and encouraging review, and you read it, smiling while thinking…"Wow…fuck...I did it…" So, why not give fellow writers the same luxury here? Too many times I've seen epic and utterly beautiful works of literary art fall to pieces before finally being abandoned due to the terrible discouragement that the lack of reviews can cause. Sometimes, it is so severe that the very writer himself decides to quit, denying the world his skills of writing that I'm it would have deeply enjoyed. So… Just one minute, that's all it takes. Just a few gentle taps of the fingers on your keyboard, a few seconds or so of your time, and your words can SAVE a writer from a dark demise. Do me a favor: Go find a story, ANY story, anywhere here on Fanfiction.net, and see if you can help it. If it has very little / no reviews at all, just check it out, and say whatever comes to mind. And enjoy the thought in mind that you could have just SAVED that story, with just a few taps of the keyboard… If you agree with what I have said then please copy and paste any part of this story you wish onto your profile. Modify it in any way you see fit; there is no need to use my exact words. You make it say what you want it to say. Copied from Less Wrong The (first) Three Laws of Fanfiction: Rule One: If you do anything to increase the protagonist's power, or make their life easier, you must also amplify their opponent or add extra difficulties to their life. You can't make Frodo a Jedi unless you give Sauron the Death Star. Otherwise, even if it is well-written in all other ways, your story will suck because the reader will know to expect an unending string of easy victories, leading them to neither wonder or care about what happens next. The Mary Sue is not defined by her power being too strong, but by her challenges being too easily overcome. Rule Two: Originality isn't easy, but it is simple: Just don't do stuff that's already been done. Even if all of your other characters are going to be absolutely true to canon, you still shouldn't have Harry Potter facing the same three challenges in the Triwizard Tournament because we've already read about them a thousand times. Put in three different challenges. Seriously. It can't hurt. Don't just go through the same events everyone has read about a thousand times before. Writing fanfiction lets you borrow the characters and the world; it doesn't exempt you from needing to surprise the readers and give them something new to read. Rule Three: The premise of a story is a conflict and its resolution - someone with a goal, which they take action to achieve, and severe obstacles that they must replan to deal with (not just speedbumps along the way), and some ultimate resolution of the conflict in which the people and their situation have changed. "What happens if the Terminator is sent back in time to kill Voldemort" is not a story premise, just a fleeting mental image. "What happens if Harry Potter is under constant attack by shape-changing robot assassins" is still not enough of a premise. "Harry Potter is under constant attack by shape-changing assassins, and by the time he manages a spell to wall off the future he's already learned not to trust anyone" could maybe be a story's premise (though you wouldn't put that in the summary, or tell any reader that until the story had ended). You can change this plan later - but you should at least have one to start with. So if you have a lovely mental image of Frodo with a lightsaber: 1. Figure out how to make his life more difficult, to make up for the lightsaber. 2. Decide what's going to happen differently in your fanfiction than in the other ones you've read. 3. Know what Frodo wants and what's going to get in his way, and have a plan for how it will all end. Copied from HawkEye83627 Whenever I write, I try to give my characters weaknesses of 3 different varieties, typically two of the three if not all three. 1. A weakness physically. This can be in the balance of physical attributes if not a straight up lacking of them. Strength over speed, speed over strength, some kind of illness or debilitating condition, heavy lack of strength but strength of mind, etc. 2. A weakness of emotion or personality. Paranoia, a short temper, untrusting, too trusting, prone to lying, prone to bottling emotions, prone to venting emotions, procrastination, etc. 3. An attachment. Something they will sacrifice for, lie for, do things that aren't right in order to protect or to keep. This can be a person, an item, or even a mindset. Found on Youtube Naruto taught us to never give up, and live life without regrets. Sasuke taught us that sometimes we fall deep into the darkness, and need a real friend to pull us back. Kakashi taught us that teamwork is important. Sakura taught us that even if we are not as strong as other people, we can still be supportive. Neji taught us that we have the power to change our destiny. Hinata taught us that we can become stronger if we idolize someone strong. Asuma taught us that children are the King and the future, and worth protecting with our lives. The 4th Hokage taught us parents would die for their kids. Nagato taught us that pain forces kids to grow up fast, and that war has the worst effect on kids. Pervy sage taught us to continue to find a way for for people to fully understand each other peacefully. Shikimaru taught us that power and strength isn’t everything, and sometimes smartness and wit can defeat someone stronger than you. Itachi taught us the ultimate sacrifice for the greater good is more important. Gaara taught us that love is the reason we are so strong. Rock Lee taught us hard work can beat genius. So many memories that I’ll never forget. Thank you Kishimoto for such an amazing story! Copied from kronos797 Girls Copied from @Crafty_Paksi I promise to remember Sans when someone makes a joke. I promise to remember Papyrus when someone makes spaghetti. I promise to remember Undyne whenever I want to feel brave. I promise to remember Alphys when someone is talking nerd junk and anime. I promise to remember Toriel when making a pie. I promise to remember Napstablook whenever I feel like trash. I promise to remember Mettaton when I'm on stage. I promise to remember Asgore whenever I'm around flowers. I promise to remember Flowey when I call someone an idiot. I promise to remember Omega Flowey when someone tries to scare me. I promise to remember Asriel whenever I cry. I promise to remember Frisk when making a poker face. I promise to remember Chara when I really want to fight someone. True Undertale fans would repost this... Others will not. Stay Determined, My Child... - Normal girls say get rekt. We say "Get dunked on." - Normal girls say go to Hell. We say "Kids like you should be burning in Hell." - Normal girls drool over Justin Bieber. We drool over Papyrus (Sans, Mettaton, Muffet, Whoever applies to you!) - Normal girls say do you wanna go? We say "Do you wanna have a bad time?" - Normal girls are afraid of monsters in their closets. We're protected by ours. - Normal girls watch cartoons. We watch anime. - Normal girls think computers are for instant message. We think they're for programming robots. - Normal girls think shipping is stupid. We think it's a way of life. - Normal girls will ignore this. Undertale fans will repost it. Copied from D3lph0xL0v3r The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... Post this on your profile if you hate racism Copied from Elaine Weasley Santa Clause From a Scientific View I. There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the Population Reference Bureau). At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per house hold, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming that there is at least one good child in each. II. Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the purposes of our calculations), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops or breaks. This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second -- 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional Reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour. III. The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized Lego set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting Santa himself. On land, a conventional Reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that the "flying" Reindeer could pull ten times the normal amount, the job can't be done with eight or even nine of them -- Santa would need 360,000 of them. This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch). IV. 600,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance -- this would heat up the Reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of Reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the Reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire Reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about the time Santa reached the fifth house on his trip. Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from a dead stop to 650 m.p.s. in .001 seconds, would be subjected to forces of 17,500 g's. A 250 pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo. V. Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's dead now. Copied from owlgirl16 So You Want To Be A Death Eater: Your Guide To Everything Evil! Greetings, new follower: If you are reading this letter then you have doubtless been accepted into the select band of professional wizards known as the Death Eaters. If by some unprecedented chance you are reading this and you have not been accepted into the Death Eaters then I suggest you put down this letter and leave now, or the consequences for you will be as terrible as my lifelong study into the Dark Arts can make them. Please find enclosed a short introductory guide to Death Eating, which you must memorize and then eat, to prevent security leaks. (Due to an unfortunate fatality last week, it is now permitted to cut the guide into small pieces before swallowing). The next meeting is scheduled for midnight, 11th June, when I trust we will have the pleasure of watching your initiation ceremony. Please remember to bring a clean handsaw and enough twine. It's so distressing when people don't prepare for these events properly. Yours in infamy, Lord Voldemort So You Want To Be A Death Eater? Welcome to this helpful guide to being a Death Eater. This leaflet should provide you with all the information you need to become a successful servant to the Dark Lord. It will if you know what's good for you. Please read every page before eating. Aims of the society: World peace List of Equipment required for new Death Eaters: (Equipment marked must be obtained from Messers. Gorgon & Black Limited, outfitters to the intensely evil and terminally stylish since 12 BC. Their premises are on Knockturn Alley, but they now do mail order as well.) Long Black Robes (Casual) Cane (For favored members only. Unauthorized possession of a cane will result in a heavy fine. Before possessing cane, it is necessary to pass a rigorous series of tests to ascertain that your carrying-a-cane-in-a-nonchalant-yet-evil-fashion skills are up to scratch). Coffin Recommended Reading: Curses and Counter-Curses by Professor Vindictus Viridian Death Eater may also own snake or dragon or hippogriff. But only Lord Voldemort may possess a basilisk. Death Eater Rules: No Death Eater shall be a spy for Dumbledore. Frequently Asked Questions: What happens if Voldemort is displeased with me? As this is a fairly run (and currently short-staffed) organization, you will probably receive a warning. And some soul-destroying torture. A second offense and you will probably die a slow death. Options include: Being slowly eaten by a manticore. What should I do if I decide to leave the organization? Make your funeral arrangements as quickly as possible. (See above) What is the salary like? You should be in this job for the principle of the thing, not for sordid reasons. So let's just say that it's much, much better than they pay at the Ministry. There will also be opportunities for pillage, looting, theft, etc., and Christmas bonuses are guaranteed. Does the Dark Mark hurt? Of course it does; this is an evil society after all. What are you, a wimp? Can the Dark Mark be removed by laser treatment? No. Only a moron would ask such a stupid question. But it can be temporarily obscured by a good-quality concealer. (Make sure it's a shade darker than your skin tone, as a lighter shade will simply draw attention to the tattoo. Pat translucent powder over the concealer to make it last longer.) Is there a retirement age for Death Eaters? You probably won't live long enough to have to deal with this problem. Can I kill personal enemies or just opponents of Voldemort? Murder is encouraged on principle; however, personal killings should be reserved for each individual Death Eater's free time, as obviously serving Lord Voldemort is much more important. Occasional massacre outings/ dark revels may take place as rewards for good (i.e. bad) behavior. What should I do if Voldemort is defeated at the height of his powers by a one-year-old boy? This circumstance is so unlikely that there is no point devising a protocol to deal with it. The Death Eater Anthem (To be memorised by each new recruit as soon as possible). Please note that this tune should never, never, never, never be sung to the tune of "Blackadder," an inane Muggle television program to which we are completely oblivious and never watch. Honestly. Who lurk beneath the undergrowth? When all is dim and dark? Who murder people in their beds Or sometimes in the park? Death Eaters! Death Eaters! Our blood is pure as pure! Death Eaters! Death Eaters! We all love Voldemort! We serve the Dark Lord every day, We're always very loyal And if with us you don't agree We'll boil you in hot oil! Death Eaters! Death Eaters! We're evil as can be! Death Eaters! Death Eaters! But if we're scared we'll flee! Our curses are incredible. We're known for our Morsmordres And though our leader is insane We always follow orders. Death Eaters! Death Eaters! We're wickedness collective! Death Eaters! Death Eaters! Yet rather ineffective! Health and Safety: Being a Death Eater is naturally a dangerous job. Lord Voldemort accepts no liability for any pain/suffering/torture/impalement/loss of limbs/grievous bodily harm/disintegration/insanity/imprisonment/loss of soul/death which you may experience while in his service. No good will come of any attempts to sue him as a negligent employer. Trust us. However, in order to protect members, these safety guidelines have been developed for Death Eaters both during leisure time and on missions for the Dark Lord: Don't try to take out Harry Potter yourself. It is extremely presumptuous. Leave it to Lord Voldemort, who has much more practice. Employ masterly deceit to conceal your allegiance to the Dark Lord: e.g., if someone accuses you of being a Death Eater, laugh carelessly and say: "No, I am not a Death Eater. Would you like a cup of tea?" This Machiavellian trickery should be enough to convince them. If this does not convince your accuser, have them discreetly murdered. (Sussex and Fox Ltd, of 13, Knockturn Alley, run a very efficient assassination service and are currently offering cut-price deals for friends and associates of the Dark Lord. Present your membership card at the counter for further details.) Keep your wand on you at all times, even if you are asleep/on a hot date/in the bath/on the beach/wearing very tight-fitting leather garments (or all of these at once). Ostentatious indicators of evil, such as manic laughter/dressing entirely in black swooshy robes (Snape, this means you)/ making sinister comments/killing people should be practiced only in private. If you suspect someone of being a spy, kill them and their family at the first opportunity. If it turns out they were not a spy at all, pass it off as a light-hearted practical joke. Only eat food prepared by yourself or your faithful minions. Do not trust your spouse(s)/partner(s), no matter how pretty he/she/they may be. Similarly, do not accept drinks from anyone. This may cause offense when visiting a pub or bar but it's better than being dead. Obviously. Do not take off your mask for any reason while on a mission. If people see your face while you are conjuring the Dark Mark/ massacring etc, they may suspect that you are a Death Eater. Do not try to smoke while wearing your mask, as it is not fireproof. Never address your colleagues by name while on a mission. Survivors may recall it at a later date. For the same reason, never mention your address or telephone number to anyone you are kidnapping/raping/torturing/killing, no matter how attractive they may be. Evil relationship experts have stated that romance is unlikely to flourish under such circumstances anyway. Burn all sensitive documents. Not only will this deter spies, it is also amusing as it contributes to global warming. Set up an anti-Apparating spell round your residence (but make sure you have a Portkey handy so you're not embarrassingly trapped there if the place is attacked by Aurors). Prepare a secret hideout for yourself should your cover be blown. Failure to do this may lead to your sharing a hideout with another Death Eating family, which often results in friction over use of bathroom facilities, television, etc. Don't upset Lord Voldemort. It will only end in tears. (And multiple burns, fractured limbs, mortal torment, etc.) Obviously I have a serious Harry Potter obsession. Copy and Paste anything you'd like. Copied from Seas and Shadows Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them, you're a mile away and have their shoes Person #1: Happiness is just around the corner! I'm not littering...I'm donating to the Earth They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people. Help Eevee take over the world by posting this on your profile! 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