Helkh
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Joined 03-05-01, id: 47817
Author has written 13 stories for Lord of the Rings, Forgotten Realms, Misc. Books, and Yami no Matsuei.
Unfortunately stuck still at home, my room and computer are meine bester freund. My cat is the only living soul who is aware of my devious plot to rule Canada in place of Martin. Well, considering the pathetic excuse we have in power right now, it's only fair. Every household shall be prosperous; a pair of gumboots for the kids, a yearly subscription to Hicks Like Yous, and a big, plastic Santa sitting atop the roof. My cat is very intelligent, for you see, Archie is merely the unimposing body Takehito Koyasu assumes when he isn't gyrating on stage and getting caught up in mic cords.

I will never take orders from a Liberal, thus I shall dress all in black, creep into the Parliament Building and camp out in the rafters until my chance comes. Then I shall pose on a stairwell, make a dramatic speech and finally sail across the hall and sweep off Jean's head in a spectacular show of swordsmanship.

Once I gain full power, popular music stations will be filled with Siouxie and Sisters of Mercy. And THEN the poor fools of our society will begin to aquire brains. Or so I hope.

But for now, I bide my time in my room with Koyasu. Now I'd never do anything sexual with my cat, but if he ever chose to reveal his proper form, I can't be held accountable for my actions.

Opium by Picaro reviews
„Tou-sama, why do you hate him so much?" "I don´t hate him." "Why did you lock him away, then?" ...... "Kurikara.."
Yami no Matsuei - Rated: T - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 818 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 6/20/2004 - Published: 6/8/2004
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Kurikara's Guide To Wooing the Shikigami Male reviews
Kurikara lends his expertise to anyone willing to pursue some of those lovely men of Gensoukai in an easy, step-by-step guide that is sure you land you the shiki of your dreams!
Yami no Matsuei - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 600 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/22/2005
One is a Genius, the Other's Insane reviews
The final war on Gensoukai is over, and the denizens of the realm attempt to restore their normal lives. But how can Souryuu accomplish this when both Kurikara and Tsuzuki are trying to set him up with Byakko? This chapter: Dealing with denial.
Yami no Matsuei - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,875 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 3/10/2004 - Published: 11/29/2003
Dude Looks Like A Lady reviews
When Byakko goes to visit the Emperor, he finds a very attractive woman working in the palaces. Unfortunately, that woman is Souryuu. Who isn't impressed. Will Byakko have his way with him? Or, wait, is it the other way around?
Yami no Matsuei - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,463 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/27/2004
Fool's Courtship reviews
Kijin discovers that older shikigami only come crazy. Reasons include his father's affair with Genbu, Byakko's Dragon obsession and Kurikara spending too much time with his swords. Not that Kijin finds Touda unattractive. Quite the opposite, really.
Yami no Matsuei - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,142 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/22/2004
Burning Rain reviews
After destroying his own home and a greater portion of Tenkuu, it seems that Souryuu will do anything to stop his own existence. Unfortunately for him, no one else seems to think this a brilliant idea.
Yami no Matsuei - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,075 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/15/2004
Tooth and Nail reviews
It seems that Souryuu would be the last man on earth to recieve a courtship gift. Appearances, therefore, are decieving. Rather than see Gensoukai destroyed in his friend's mad search for the culprit, Kurikara embarks on a quest to see Souryuu paired.
Yami no Matsuei - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 835 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/15/2004
Sun's So Hot I Froze To Death reviews
Haldir and his brothers are sent from Lorien to clear the ways for the Fellowship (if it ever gets around to leaving). Haldir must battle his own evil tendencies, his brothers and the Spawn of Elrond. And, just perhaps, a Balrog.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,600 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Published: 11/22/2003 - Haldir
Beastie: Torrential Agony of Tarrant the Agonized reviews
What is a man to do when anything with a pulse is after him? Why, stab anything in his way. Unfortunately, this never seems to work, as Tarrant realizes. [Coldfire Trilogy]
Misc. Books - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 966 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/22/2003
Fighting Caves reviews
Misery is abundant to the Elves serving under their Lords. Chaos seems to strangle Thranduil's grip on reality, and Legolas finds himself quite oblivious to Glorfindel's plotting. [Chapter 5 up!]
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 5 - Words: 3,789 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 2 - Updated: 3/23/2003 - Published: 2/24/2003
Sun Sets Down Upon the Infantry reviews
The Shadow has not faded from the land, and only grows. Elves that should not be wander Middle Earth, and an unseen Evil tears at the edges of civilization. There can be no return from death, for Valinor begins to die.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Angst - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,825 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 3/22/2003 - Published: 3/16/2003
Computer Geeks of the Immortal Type reviews
There is very little that an Elven Lord can't get around, but when they're unable to do something, they positively stink. In the age of technology, Celebor fights for his sanity and against the tech-savvy Thranduil. REWRITE: The Missing Twin.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,459 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 3/22/2003
The Poet and the Wise Man reviews
The drow will fear nothing but the most deadly of berserker rages. Perhaps there is something more to Jarlaxle. [Z/J]
Forgotten Realms - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,323 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Published: 3/15/2003
Achas
Legolas is among the troops cleaning up the remains of the shadow in Mordor, but finds that not all evil comes in the form of snarling monsters. [FR/LOTR]
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,756 - Published: 12/31/2002