High Functioning Nihilist
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Joined 06-14-13, id: 4787779, Profile Updated: 04-21-15
Author has written 3 stories for Naruto, Bleach, and Percy Jackson and the Olympians.

It is you who should tone down your impudence. I speak of genesis. The elements intermix, coalesce, and bring forth the stars that forge all of creation. Know now the apex of the Truth. I shall show you that which I acknowledge as truly golden. The hidden prototype. Now... sing its praises in your death throes, foul noise...!”


Name: Eh, I've had too many names to count on this site, namely due to the fact that I change my username every other day on most occasions. Acceptable names are: Nihilist, Nih, Nil, Steel, or you can refer to me by name, Coby.

Gender: I am male.

Age: Too old for this shit.


Quotes

"Chaos in the midst of chaos isn't funny, but chaos in the midst of order is." - Steve Martin

"At the very least I am glad you no longer have the form of a child. I can beat you to death without remorse." -Genryusai Shigekuni Yamamoto

"Would you like me to save you?... Just kidding" - Gin Ichimaru

"I'm Hub McCann. I've fought in two World Wars and countless smaller ones on three continents. I led thousands of men into battle with everything from horses and swords to artillery and tanks. I've seen the headwaters of the Nile, and tribes of natives no white man had ever seen before. I've won and lost a dozen fortunes, KILLED MANY MEN and loved only one woman with a passion a FLEA like you could never begin to understand. That's who I am. NOW, GO HOME, BOY!"— Hub McCann

"Delta Squad is your house, bitch! You hear that shit? You grubby-ass bitches are goin' down! Like way down - dead down! So down you ain't even goona know which way is up! Your asses are gonna be cryin' to your skank-ass queen: "Oh, mommy, don't let the bad man hurt us!" Fuck you! We're gonna whup your mamma's *ass!* *Whoo!*" - Augustus Cole

"I am become death, the destroyer of worlds." - J. Robert Oppenheimer

"It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities." Albus Dumbledore

“Besides, if you're going to die horribly, you might as well do it with style.” Bartimaeus

"Ancient words of wisdom... 'you suck'" - Gen (Street Fighter)

"No wonder this company was in the shape it's in. It's time to get rid o' the trash, the garbage, the worthless piece of crap out here, and we started with Dixie Carter. Yeah, we're gettin' very real around here. We are so, real, it's unbelievable. Because, if you don't get over like I said, you're fired. If you don't draw number, if you don't entertain, if you don't put asses in seats, if you don't put the coinage in the piggy bank, you're fired. No more games. No more, "Kayfabe." "It's a work." "I've won 34 tag team belts." Who gives a damn, how many... fake belts you won!? If you don't draw money, you get fired around here. If you don't put asses in seats, you’re gone."- Hulk Hogan

So we made a thoroughfare for freedom and her train, Sixty miles in latitude, three hundred to the main, Treason fled before us for resistance was in vain, While we were marching through Georgia. - The Union

"The bank, Mr. Van Buren, is trying to kill me but I will kill it!" - Andrew Jackson

"I come in peace. I didn’t bring artillery. But I’m pleading with you, with tears in my eyes. If you fuck with me, I’ll kill you all" - James Mattis

German General: "If there were 50 million Finns we would share the world together with you."

Finnish General Paavo Talvela: "If there were 50 million Finns... what makes you think we would share anything with you?"

"John Calhoun, if you secede from my nation, I will secede your head from the rest of your body!".- Andrew Jackson

"By The Eternal, I'll smash them!". Andrew Jackson

“If I win, I'm a prodigy. If I lose, then I'm crazy. That's the way history is written.” - Artemis Fowl

“Confidence is ignorance. If you're feeling cocky, it's because there's something you don't know.” - Faoly (Pretty sure I spelled that right.)

"What do you mean?" he said. "Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not; or that you feel good this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on?" - Gandalf

"But man, you fucking kids! Back in GALUF'S day, you didn't die from a single sword wound from a pretty boy! No sir! If you wanted to die, you had to go and find the world's most powerful black mage, who despite BEING a mage is wearing FULL ARMOR and WIELDS A SWORD, and knows all the most powerful spells in the game. And hell, just getting to him was a lot harder, too! You had to go through TWO worlds. And it was uphill in BOTH of them. And when you were finally AT that fucking mage, you didn't say "oh hey, stab me, it's a cut scene". No, you PUSSY, you FOUGHT him! And you kept fighting until your hit points were fucking negative ten thousand billion. THEN you can die, you cock-sucking youngin'." - Galuf

"Up, up! Down, down! Left, right, left, right! Bringing the motherfucking death by Konami! Man, I'm so fucking hard right now." - Jan Valentine

"Fuck, these are some fine cigars. Like, all bourgeois and shit. I mean, come on, that's just fucked up! People are starving in the world, and she's wasting money on this? A slow and agonising death is too good for that stick-up-her-ass bitch. I think it's time someone gave her an old-fashioned working-class asskicking!" - Jan Valentine

"I am disappointed that you could not even offset my attack, Saber. Oh, I see. I should have taken it easier on you. After all, I am fighting women and children!" - Gilgamesh

"Now once again we rise the flag of salvation! You who have been abandoned, gather here. I shall lead you! I shall rule you! The resentment and rage of we, the oppressed, shall reach to God himself! God in heaven, with word of condemnations I praise your holy name! Arrogant God! Cruel God! We shall pull you down from your throne!" - Caster (Fate/Zero)

"Also, according to rumor, a single tear from Obama's cheek can slay demons and cure vilitigo and impetigo. His stride is as of a titan's, seven leagues at a time, and while he holds a microphone in his hand he canst take no mortal wound nor shed a single drop of his own blood. He speaks the native tongue of birds, and converses happily with all beasts of hoof and paw, even to the lowliest vole and marmot. Gracious as the kings of old, Obama carries no money nor answers unkind word with like. Peonies spring up where his feet trod, and were he to lay his weary head upon the ground a mighty cedar, like unto the old father trees of Bsharri and Barouk, would spring forth to shade his noble brow. In the elven tongue he is Lothlornienel, with means "Laughter in the High Places", and the dwarves call him earthfriend, as well as "Khazad ak Manu", which means "He who does not wear patriotic lapel pins."His is the drill that shall pierce the heavens: believe in him believing in you! The Neocons speak of him in hushed tones in their shadowed, dusty halls, and refer to the ancient scrolls of the fallen empire of Mnem, which foretells of the coming of the Dusky Childe, who shall scourge their number from the halls and rotundas and tear down the altars in the high places and bring the three terrible plagues of Health Care and White Guilt and Political Transparency. They say that he will travel to Shibboleth – where the heart of Karl Rove is kept, inanimate, inside a Canopic jar – and break the seals and feast upon the contents therein: and with the power thus consumed he will erect a throne of jade and jasper and lapus lazuli, and rule upon it, and the thunderous gnashing of teeth from the Red States will play Hail to the Chief as he ascends the dais."

"Allow me to impress upon you the severe mistake you have made. For years my conduct has been largely benign. And yet, without provocation, you have severed our détente and forced me to unleash upon you the vengeful flames of a thousand suns. You shall curse your mothers for the day of your birth. So, go now, go, and begin your life of fear, knowing that when you least expect it, the looming sword of Damocles will crash down upon you, cleaving you in twain and as you gaze upon the smoking wreckage that was once your life, you will regret the day you crossed the WRONG FISH!!" - Klaus

"For those who believe in God, most of the big questions are answered. But for those of us who can't readily accept the God formula, the big answers don't remain stone-written. We adjust to new conditions and discoveries. We are pliable. Love need not be a command nor faith a dictum. I am my own god. We are here to unlearn the teachings of the church, state, and our educational system. We are here to drink beer. We are here to kill war. We are here to laugh at the odds and live our lives so well that Death will tremble to take us." Charles Bukowski

"Alone in the darkness surrounded by the voices of the dead. Again, the same dream. What foolishness. No matter the ferocity of your anger or contempt for me, there is nothing you can do to hurt me. You lost that right the instant I stared death in the face and turned my back. You are powerless against me now. I live to fight. Death's embrace is my ultimate destiny. As long as blood courses through my veins, I shall not succumb to the likes of you! I will not allow the putrid dead to so much as touch me!" - Gen (Street Fighter)

"It was a viscous fight indeed. Each man was prepared to give up the ghost in what was to be their ultimate battle. Now it is time for me to return to my own fight to the death. The only reason I still draw breath...My journey has not yet ended!" Gen (Street Fighter)

"Come, try me, immortals, so all of you can learn. Hang a great golden cable down from the heavens lay hold of it, all you gods, all goddesses too: you can never drag me down from sky to earth, not Zeus, the highest, mightiest king of kings, not even if you worked yourselves to death. But whenever I'd set my mind to drag you up, in deadly earnest, I'd hoist you all with ease, you and the earth, you and the sea, all together, then loop that golden cable round a horn of Olympus, bind it fast and leave the whole world dangling in mid-air— that is how far I tower over the gods, I tower over men." - Zeus

""You cannot pass. I am a servant of the Secret Fire, wielder of the flame of Anor. You cannot pass. The dark fire will not avail you, flame of Udûn. Go back to the Shadow! You cannot pass." - Gandalf


Preferred Pairings

Fate/Stay Night:

Fake Assassin x Caster

Fake Assassin x Saber

Gilgamesh x Saber

Lancer x Rin Tohsaka

Kirei Kotomine x Fem!Gilgamesh

Naruto:

Sasuke Uchiha x Fem!Naruto Uzumaki

Hellsing:

Pip Bernadotte x Seras Victoria

Alexander Anderson x Alcuard

Young!Walter Dornez x Girlycard

Harry Potter:

Ron Weasley x Hermione Granger

Ron Weasley x Luna Lovegood

Inheritance Cycle:

Eragon x Arya

Eragon X Elva

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Strange Duet by MamaKnowsBest reviews
Set after the final book: Life has returned to a semblance of normalcy and Artemis is once again attending school at his mother's request. But there is a new character added to our slightly dysfunctional gang, a girl who knows things she shouldn't. Well, he had been complaining of boredom lately...
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 23 - Words: 98,901 - Reviews: 135 - Favs: 71 - Follows: 96 - Updated: 4/11 - Published: 6/12/2014 - [Artemis F., OC] Butler, Holly S.
Spiraling Shark by The Fifth Rider of Armageddon reviews
Humanity has mocked, enslaved, and looked down on us. That is what Naruto thought, from childhood he was destined to do great things. But will it be his destiny to destroy what Otohime worked for, or will it take a special princess to change his mind?
Crossover - Naruto & One Piece - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 15 - Words: 150,433 - Reviews: 445 - Favs: 998 - Follows: 904 - Updated: 4/5 - Published: 9/23/2011 - Naruto U.
By Wisdom and Courage by SynthesisSurge reviews
Helena honestly didn't know why she thought she would get peace after the War. It seemed like an obvious thing, but when it came to her having a normal life, all the rules of the universe goes out the window. Now she finds herself in a new world, a new war, and with a new destiny. Perhaps she should just get used to having an exciting life. Fem!Harry. Fem!Harry/Eragon.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Inheritance Cycle - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 47,871 - Reviews: 187 - Favs: 630 - Follows: 817 - Updated: 3/6 - Published: 1/28 - [Harry P., Eragon S.]
The Runaway HOO 2, The Kidnapper by A.wesome E.pic B.rilliant reviews
Yeah, I'm writing. This is about Percy's daughter, Anna Elizabeth Jackson. She goes through high school with more dilemmas than her parents. She manages to become the next Annabeth Chase, being popular in a smart way. Percy and Annabeth help her get through life. I don't own PJO/HOO. The Play/Pause thing is back. No Hate Burgers please. - Stay A.wesome E.pic and B.rilliant
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 28 - Words: 23,266 - Reviews: 83 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 2/9 - Published: 8/31/2014
A Different Result, A New Beginning by A Fan1204 reviews
We all know how the battle at the Valley of the End ended. What would happen if Naruto did something different? This action has an unexpected result and Naruto awakens in an unfamiliar land. With no idea of how he got there and no idea on how to return home, what's a young shinobi supposed to do?
Crossover - Naruto & Fairy Tail - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 17 - Words: 229,424 - Reviews: 1094 - Favs: 1,844 - Follows: 1,981 - Updated: 2/6 - Published: 12/2/2012 - Naruto U.
Awakening of a Devil by SSJ3kyuubi reviews
One night, Sasuke Uchiha lost both his father and brother. Now seven years later, Sasuke seeks revenge on the man who killed them. But first, he has to deal with these girls who want to jump his bones for some reason. SasukeXharem Horrible summary I know, but I promise the story's better. Rated T for now, but may get an M rating
Crossover - Naruto & Rosario + Vampire - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 38,403 - Reviews: 106 - Favs: 99 - Follows: 111 - Updated: 1/31 - Published: 6/14/2014 - [Sasuke U., Moka A.]
Rise of a Heavenly Demon by Louis the Gator reviews
Naruto becomes Doflamingo. Starts after the Chunin Exam Preliminaries and takes the Elemental Nations down a different path. Watch as Joker gathers his family and brings about the "New Era". Takes One Piece concepts and defines them with Naruto verse mechanics (no character eats a devil fruit). Rated M for use of real world psychological and scientific theories.
Crossover - Naruto & One Piece - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 6 - Words: 39,119 - Reviews: 158 - Favs: 438 - Follows: 437 - Updated: 9/2/2014 - Published: 3/8/2014 - Naruto U., Doflamingo
Defenders of Sol by Kyo Sa Nim Ivor reviews
Centuries have past since the last Z fighter became deceased, leaving a weak and vulnerable world. What happens when the defenceless Earth suddenly becomes part of a colossal war that goes to the most monumental and ludicrous levels? May it happen or not, Earth is in desperate need for strong warriors.
Dragon Ball Z - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Tragedy - Chapters: 18 - Words: 53,119 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 8/29/2014 - Published: 5/20/2014
The Law of Proximal Attraction by Redeeming Endeavor reviews
AU. Though they couldn't stand each other, they were forced to spend as much time together as their siblings. As science has proven, two polar opposites cannot stay in proximity before the force of attraction inevitably pulls them together.
Kingdom Hearts - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 29 - Words: 240,173 - Reviews: 1333 - Favs: 630 - Follows: 504 - Updated: 4/27/2014 - Published: 6/17/2011 - [Roxas, Naminé] - Complete
Alagaesia's Women (Lemons) by HodorHodorHodorHodorHodor reviews
Various lemons around characters in the Inheritance Cycle. Lemons, don't like don't read don't flame. I repeat, if you dislike this material, don't flame, just read something else.
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: M - English - Romance/Parody - Chapters: 6 - Words: 14,436 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 42 - Updated: 3/30/2014 - Published: 2/26/2014
A Love of Lightning by Deathsembrace137 reviews
After Lucy is hurt on a mission, both physically and emotionally, Team Natsu ends up going their separate ways. As Lucy accompanies Erza on a S-Class mission, and trains for the up-coming S-Class exams, she finds herself drawing closer to one of Fairy Tail's most powerful mages.
Fairy Tail - Rated: M - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 45 - Words: 217,980 - Reviews: 1800 - Favs: 1,517 - Follows: 1,581 - Updated: 3/27/2014 - Published: 4/8/2013 - Lucy H., Laxus D.
King of Heroes, Uzumaki Naruto by RESTIA reviews
The world his garden, the universe his toy. That was what he thought, the mindset he had developed. He, who possessed all the treasures of the world. He, who indulged himself in every luxury the world had to offer. He, the descendant of the oldest king, mankind's oldest hero. The time have come for the world to once again remember the power of the King of all Heroes, Gilgamesh!
Crossover - Naruto & High School DxD/ハイスクールD×D - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 11,372 - Reviews: 207 - Favs: 868 - Follows: 897 - Updated: 3/17/2014 - Published: 12/22/2013 - Naruto U.
A Glimmer in the Dark - The Corrupted by N-Six reviews
Love pulls us all, but Eragon the most. Who will he chose? A cold distant Arya thats always turned him down or a bright new exotic face from afar. An ancient prophecy predicts that a nefarious forgotten black will come upon the land. Corrupted by this stench the land is placed in peril. But still our hope survives. A romance goes on while they fight for their lives.
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 25 - Words: 54,189 - Reviews: 230 - Favs: 133 - Follows: 168 - Updated: 3/4/2014 - Published: 1/27/2013 - [Eragon S., Arya]
Naruto Uzumaki and the Olympians by WolfBlade117 reviews
The Gods are losing against Kronos and Typhon when a helping hand shows up. How the gods react to our favorite, pranking, ramen-loving ninja? Godlike Naruto, Serious Naruto, Rinnegan Naruto. Multiple girls, pairings in first chapter, most likely lemons.
Crossover - Naruto & Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: M - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 4 - Words: 14,648 - Reviews: 274 - Favs: 1,303 - Follows: 1,482 - Updated: 1/25/2014 - Published: 3/30/2013 - Naruto U.
Things I'll never say by LaxusPlayer reviews
Mira has finally achieved her goal of shipping every one of her pairings. But who will be the one to ship the shipper? And who is the right person to pair them with?
Fairy Tail - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,655 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 16 - Published: 1/11/2014 - Mirajane S., Laxus D. - Complete
Demons Of Ohara by Rebel Don reviews
Naruto Uzumaki has been called a demon his entire life but when an accident gets him sent to an island where another is in a similar predicament the two of them find strength in companionship. Follow them as they face countless adversities on their journey to greatness. Will eventually be epic in length and will not get to Luffy time for a while.
Crossover - Naruto & One Piece - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 38,709 - Reviews: 169 - Favs: 528 - Follows: 539 - Updated: 10/6/2013 - Published: 6/30/2013 - Naruto U., Robin
Legendary Warrior by Psudocode Samurai reviews
It was myth, legend. The one that had trained the Sage of Six Paths...It was worth the risk, he had to see if it was true... A Naruto/DBZ Abridged story! Humor, smack talking, and a pecking order.
Crossover - Dragon Ball Z & Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,017 - Reviews: 112 - Favs: 350 - Follows: 291 - Published: 5/6/2013 - Mister Popo, Naruto U.
Shade by Negligible1 reviews
A moment of weakness destroys everything Eragon knows and now he must fight, not only against the Empire, but against himself. A Dragon Rider Shade is born.
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 14 - Words: 67,164 - Reviews: 142 - Favs: 268 - Follows: 136 - Updated: 5/3/2013 - Published: 6/24/2011 - Eragon S., Durza - Complete
The Flower Said So by Lunacii reviews
fem!Luffy LuccixLuffy A simple little drabble between Lucci and fem!Luffy. Finiding an flower of innocence, Luffy began plucking at its delicate pink petals, counting off her possible true love for her boyfriend, Lucci. "I love him... I love him not..."
One Piece - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 690 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 11 - Published: 12/19/2012 - Luffy, Lucci - Complete
Alone on a Beach by Arden Tenjou reviews
Set before Robin is rescued from Enies Lobby. Rob Lucci saves her life when she would have been killed in a storm, and together they end up on a deserted island. Emotions are complicated, but some things are easy.
One Piece - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,069 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/18/2012 - Lucci, Robin - Complete
My Best Friend's A Dragon Rider by saxygal reviews
How would the Inheritance Cycle have played out if Eragon had had a best friend back home? A best friend who just so happened to be a very unusual girl. Eragon/OC. Rated because I'm paranoid.
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,945 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 9/23/2011 - Published: 6/20/2011 - Eragon S.
Nen ono weohnata, Arya Dröttningu by Wolfyman123 reviews
Roran and Eragon get drunk, Arya is acting different, and Angela keeps showing up at the wrong times! Rated M for Lemony goodness. One-shot. Follows Canon.
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,647 - Reviews: 77 - Favs: 272 - Follows: 79 - Published: 9/9/2011 - Eragon S., Arya - Complete
Fainting Robin by Erfquake reviews
Eragon had failed; Galbatorix stabbed him - but that wasn't suppose to happen. Under some unusual circumstances, Eragon is sent back, before the Fall. Given a second chance, Eragon will fix everything, and save everyone - including Arya. Time will change.
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 27,320 - Reviews: 300 - Favs: 404 - Follows: 417 - Updated: 3/1/2011 - Published: 6/24/2010 - Eragon S., Arya
His Wyrda by EmeraldArya reviews
Set after Eldest in Ellesmera, this is the story of Eragon and Arya's struggling relationship as the war rages on around them. Eventually Eragon/Arya. Rated M for violence/ torture scenes and a lemon or two.
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 11 - Words: 35,673 - Reviews: 715 - Favs: 708 - Follows: 191 - Updated: 9/8/2008 - Published: 8/14/2008 - Eragon S., Arya - Complete
Money's Influence by mihawklover reviews
Avanti finds out first hand the dangers of a secret when she meets Lucci. He is everything that she should avoid though she finds herself in his bed after he hears of her families financial problems and he offers her a solution that is too good to decline
One Piece - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,110 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 3 - Published: 7/12/2007 - Lucci - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Son of the Forge reviews
More than two decades ago the Forge God Hephaestus visited the Hidden Dimension under the guise of Minato Namikaze. He met and courted the woman named Kushina Uzumaki and together they had a boy. Naruto Uzumaki. A demigod with a prophecy. How will his adventures effect the world or even the gods
Crossover - Naruto & Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,486 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 251 - Follows: 288 - Updated: 10/2/2014 - Published: 11/18/2013 - Naruto U., Hephaestus
Death Inside The Living reviews
The Sage of Six Paths, instead of discovering the power of the body. Chakra. He discovered the power within the soul.
Crossover - Naruto & Bleach - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,115 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 10 - Published: 3/9/2014
Children of Prophecy reviews
Adopted from Pain17ification but rewritten by me.
Crossover - Naruto & Bleach - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,885 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 68 - Follows: 73 - Updated: 8/3/2013 - Published: 8/1/2013 - Naruto U., Ichigo K.