The Ravenclaw
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Joined 06-16-13, id: 4792402, Profile Updated: 07-02-15
Author has written 9 stories for Harry Potter, Batman, and Teen Titans.

Hey, I'm Claw. I'm from England. I enjoy writing (duh), acting, saying the funnies and doing the musics.

Your real name: Curtis Llama Jesus Xavier the third.

Age: Wouldn't you like to know?

Height: 5'10

Natural hair color: Dark Blonde

Eye color: Brown.

Skin color: Pale.

Glasses/contacts?: Nope, Perfect 20/20.

Piercings: Used to have my left ear pierced, now closed up.

Tattoos: Unfortunately, no.

Braces: Fortunately, no.

Other distinctive markings: I'm usually wearing a nerdy T-shirt...

FAVORITE Color: Black.

Band: AC/DC, Tenacious D, Iron Maiden, Guns N Roses, Metallica, Flogging Molly, Alestorm, The Ink Spots, The Offspring, Rise Against.

Video game: Dragon Age, Fallout 3, Oblivion, Borderlands, GTA, COD, Halo.

Movie: Shaun of The Dead.

Book: Harry Potter/Percy Jackson.

Food: Hot wings!

Game on a cell phone: Surviving High School.

CD: Tenacious D.

Flower: Lily, because it's the first one that came to my mind.

Scent: Don't know...

Animal: Dogs.

Comic book: Nanananana Batman! (Spider-man and Deadpool are pretty awesome also.)

Cereal: I don't like cereal.

Website: Fanfiction, YouTube.

Cartoon: Avatar: The Last Airbender, Teen Titans, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Adventure time.

Play an instrument?: Guitar.

Watch TV more than 60 hours a week?: Believe it or not, I don't count...

Like to sing?: *Sings* Yessssss.

Have a job?: Nope.

Have a cell phone?: Yes...

Like to play sports?: Never!!!

Have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: Not currently, why, you interested? *Winks*

Live somewhere NOT in the United States?: England.

Have more than 5 TVs in your house?: Why would anyone need that many T.V.'s?

Have any special talents/skills?: Acting, playing video games and staying up late...

Exercise daily?: Monthly... Sometimes... Never...

Like school?: Thats like asking if I like getting my eyes torn out of my head... No.

Fruit/vegetables: Fruits!

Black/white: Black.

Lights on/lights off: On.

TV/movie: Movies.

Body spray/lotion: I don't... Wait why?

Cash/check: Cash.

Pillows/blankets: Blankets.

Headache/stomach ache: Neither.

Paint/charcoal: Paint.

Chinese food/Mexican food: Chinese!

Summer/winter: Summer... I can stay inside my house longer!

Snow/rain: Snow!

Fog/misty: Is there a differance? *Sigh* Misty... I guess.

Rock/rap: Rock.

Meat/vegetarian: Dead Cow...

Chocolate/vanilla: Strawberry!

Sprinkles/icing: Sprinkles!

Cake/pie: Pancackes!

Strawberries/blueberries: Strawberries.

Ocean/swimming pool: Swimming pool.

Cookies/muffins: Neither

Wallet/pocket: Pocket.

Window/door: What...?

Charles Chaplin/Chespirito: Chaplin, from what little i've seen...

Pink/purple: Black.

Cat/dog: I already told you, DOGS!

Long sleeve/short sleeve: No shirt...

Pants/shorts: Why is this even a question?

Winter break/spring break: Winter break, Christmas!

Spring/autumn: Spring, Easter Eggs!

Clouds/clear sky: Clear!

Moon/mars: Moon.

Questions/Answers: Wait... What?

War/Peace: I refuse to answer any more of your silly questions... *Cough* War *Cough*.


What is your favorite genre of music?: *Sigh* I guess I'll answer a few more. Rock/Metal.

What time is it now?: What did I say about stupid questions?!

Are you hungry right now?: Not really...

What are you doing right now?: Writing this...

Do you like parades?: Seriously?! No, I will not answer!

Do you like the moon?: You already asked me this! Yes!

What are you going to do when you're done with this?: It's going to end?

If you could have any magical power what would it be?: The ability to stop this quiz! Or teleportation...

Do you think you are funny?: I like to think so.

Cool?: About as cool as a building on fire... Not very.

Handsome?: I don't think so, although people tell me I am.

Sarcastic?: No, I would never be sarcastic. *He says Sarcastically.*

Lazy?: I'm actualy surprised I wasn't to lazy to write this.

Hyper?: Yes, yes, yes!

Friendly?: I try to be friendly.

Evil?: *Evil grin* No... Not at all...

Unforgettable?: People try, but never succeed.

Smart?: Yes, now bow to me, imbecile.

Strong?: Hahahaha... No...

Talented?: You could say that.

Dorky?: *Puts on glasses and makes voice higher.* And proud!

If you read through all of this, I apologise for wasting 5 minutes of your life.

And now, quotes.

"You call it sanity, I call it boring." - Me.

"It could be worse, you could be a slug." - Russell Howard.

"There is good and there is evil. There are those who commit crimes and those who stop them. The two sides are opposite, as different as day and night. And the line between them is clear. Or at least it's supposed to be." - Dick Grayson, Robin.

"I may not be smart enough to do everything, but I'm dumb enough to try anything." - Garfield Logan, Beast Boy.

"As Mr. Sloan always says, there is no "I" in team, but there is an "I" in pie. And there's an "I" in meat pie. Anagram of meat is team... I don't know what he's talking about." - Shaun Riley, Shaun of the Dead.

"At the end of the day, I have to accept that I can control everything...except the things I can't control." - Tim Drake, Robin.

"Everything's impossible until somebody does it." - Bruce Wayne, Batman.

"Life doesn't give us purpose. We give life purpose." - Barry Allen, The Flash.

"Claw always wins, except when he loses." - Me.

"Life rushes on, faster and faster; But the fact is you can't rush toast." Tom Wilson.

"A smart hero knows when it's time to give up. A true hero knows to never give up." - Me.

"Madness is the emergency exit. You can just step outside, and close the door on all those dreadful things that happened. You can lock them away...forever." - The Joker.

"That's what I'm here for. To deliver unpleasant news and witty one-liners.” - Alistar, Dragon Age.

"We're always in trouble! Isn't this extraordinary - it follows us everywhere!" The Doctor (One), Doctor Who.

"I hate computers and refuse to be bullied by them!" The Doctor (Two), Doctor Who.

"Allow me to congratulate you, sir. You have the most totally closed mind that I've ever encountered." The Doctor (Three), Doctor Who.

"Well, of course I'm being childish! There's no point being grown-up if you can't be childish sometimes." The Doctor (Four), Doctor Who.

"Well, there's a probability of anything. Statistically speaking, if you gave typewriters to a treeful of monkeys, they'd eventually produce the works of William Shakespeare." The Doctor (Five), Doctor Who.

"A little gratitude wouldn't irretrievably damage my ego." The Doctor (Six), Doctor Who.

"Only the madman can see the way clearly through the tangled forest." The Doctor (Seven), Doctor Who.

"I know who I am, I... Am... The Doctor!" The Doctor (Eight), Doctor Who.

"The thing is, time travel is like visiting Paris. You can't just read the guidebook, you've got to throw yourself in! Eat the food, use the wrong verbs, get charged double and end up kissing complete strangers! Or is that just me?" The Doctor (Nine), Doctor Who.

"People assume that time is a strict progression of cores to effect, but actually from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint it's more like a big ball of wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey... Stuff." The Doctor (Ten), Doctor Who.

"There's something you better understand about me, 'cause it's important and one day your life may depend on it. I am definitely a madman with a box!" The Doctor (Eleven), Doctor Who.

"Well, I think I'm probably coming at comedy at a different perspective than most people anyway; in that I got in it not through drama classes, but I got into it because of horrendously screwed up drug background, and once you've been through like ten years of drug addiction and therapy and psychiatric hospital and all that. You can't really work in a bank anyway." - Mike Gunn.

"We'd all learn something from the end of the world." - Anonymous.

"Hush, little Robin, don't say a word, Joker's gonna visit all the big bat birds, and if those big bat birds don't sing, Joker's gonna pull out a grenade pin ring..." - The Joker.

"Doesn't everyone want a zombie apocalypse to happen, just a little bit?" - Anonymous.

"Pfft. When don't I have a plan?" - Tim Drake, Red Robin.

"I'm getting lectured on child safety from a man who's gone through four Robins?" - Wally West, the Flash, to Batman.

"Dude, that's not funny! I totally have a brain... I just don't use it much..." - Garfield Logan, Beast Boy.

"It is only the great men who are truly obscene. If they had not dared to be obscene, they could never have dared to be great." - Havelock Ellis.

"Hate it whenever they say 'Plan B'. That's super villain code for 'blow everything up'." - Peter Parker, Spider-Man.

"Winning isn't everything has never been said by a winner." - Daniel Hardcastle, Nerdcubed.

There's something that doesn't make sense... let's go poke it with a stick!" - The Doctor (Eleven), Doctor Who.

My Forum:

Well, that's all. Mischief Managed.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Daatyod by Deletedaccountnolongeractive reviews
Saving reviews
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1 - Reviews: 1924 - Favs: 3,611 - Follows: 885 - Updated: 12/17/2017 - Published: 6/11/2008 - Neville L. - Complete
The Diaries of Crookshanks the Cat by TeenMuggle reviews
I, Crookshanks, am a cat. Proud and fluffy. This is the story of how I got myself a new pet, and how I protected her from an evil imposter. Fluff mainly. Just a bit of a silly little story to occupy me until I get inspiration for my Ancient Relics sequel.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 6 - Words: 18,076 - Reviews: 81 - Favs: 165 - Follows: 74 - Updated: 1/8/2014 - Published: 12/22/2013 - Hermione G., Sirius B., Crookshanks - Complete
Memorial by WordStained reviews
Jason sits alone in front of an unkempt grave stone, just talking. T for some minor language use.
Batman - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 897 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 3 - Published: 12/19/2013 - Jason T./Red Hood - Complete
The Wisdom of James Potter by LittleRedLily reviews
Random series of one-shots about James Potter, the amusing things he gets up to and how he helps/hinders his friends. Includes his guide to girls, an Animagus quiz and how to lose a girl in ten days.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 25,790 - Reviews: 105 - Favs: 64 - Follows: 51 - Updated: 11/17/2013 - Published: 5/23/2010 - Sirius B., Remus L., James P., Lily Evans P.
Batingency Plans by Night of Myths reviews
Batman has a plan for everything. Let's take a look and see what chaos some of his plans have led to. Takes place partially season 1, then season 2.
Young Justice - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 52 - Words: 38,048 - Reviews: 545 - Favs: 280 - Follows: 191 - Updated: 4/26/2013 - Published: 9/5/2012 - Complete
Unhinge Your Thoughts by MysteryAgain reviews
Lisa introduces Bart to FanbaseLit, a site that allows people to write stories based on other stories. Hilarity ensues as the siblings and other Springfielders use it. Disclaimer: I'm not trying to insult this site.
Simpsons - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,792 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 3/11/2013 - Published: 8/26/2012 - Bart S.
Courtesy Of Sirius…Or Was It Remus? by ElvenMuggle reviews
Sirius...Or Remus...Decide to lock Lily and James in a room in an attempt to finally bring them together. But, of course, the plan goes wrong and Lily, along with all of the marauders, all end up trapped. And then chaos ensues.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 18 - Words: 39,499 - Reviews: 362 - Favs: 346 - Follows: 126 - Updated: 1/28/2011 - Published: 10/2/2010 - Lily Evans P., James P. - Complete
It's Technical by drox reviews
Drabble. The Doctor talks complete nonsense sometimes. Missing scene from "Blink".
Doctor Who - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 122 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 14 - Published: 5/27/2008 - 10th Doctor, Martha J. - Complete
Cywir Carennydd by Lone One reviews
A Marauders era fic, Remus centric. Everyone needs friends, even little werewolves. Complete.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 15 - Words: 85,840 - Reviews: 374 - Favs: 310 - Follows: 51 - Updated: 4/22/2004 - Published: 7/16/2003 - Remus L., Sirius B. - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

From Bird to Bat reviews
There must be a new Bat, the only question is: Who?
Batman - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Family - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,894 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 3/9/2014 - Published: 9/9/2013 - Timothy D./Red Robin, Richard G./Nightwing, Jason T./Red Hood, Damian W./Robin
Dobby's Adventure reviews
Dobby finds a secret in Malfoy Manor. One-shot.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,043 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/5/2014 - Dobby, Lucius M., Draco M. - Complete
A Whole Lotta' Red reviews
A series of one-shots about The Weasley's! Each chapter will focus on two Weasley's interacting, that's 36 one-shots! This was written for the 'Connect The Weasley's Challenge'.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Family/Friendship - Chapters: 2 - Words: 436 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 12/26/2013 - Published: 11/16/2013 - Molly W., Arthur W., Fred W., George W.
The New Titans reviews
Set ten years after the Titans leave, Jump City is in a state of dismay. There must be a new team, a new team of Titans!
Teen Titans - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,094 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 9/19/2013 - Published: 9/8/2013 - OC
Nowise Remus reviews
Written for a challenge by Aqua Cahill's What A Word! Challenge.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 500 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 9/9/2013 - Remus L., Sirius B. - Complete
I was a Marauder too reviews
Poem by Peter Pettigrew.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Poetry/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 153 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Published: 9/7/2013 - Peter P. - Complete
The Marauders and The Case of The Werewolf reviews
James, Sirius, Remus and Peter are all best friends, this story will show how they became the group we know today as "The Marauders." Book 1 of 7.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 7,972 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 9/4/2013 - Published: 8/19/2013 - Marauders, Lily Evans P., Severus S.
The Villains Chronicles reviews
A series of one-shots about the villains of Gotham, some are stories, others are poems. Come check it out.
Batman - Rated: T - English - Crime/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 680 - Reviews: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/3/2013 - The Joker, Edward N./The Riddler, Selina K./Catwoman, Oswald C./Penguin
Why didn't you stay? reviews
Short One shot, I don't want to spoil anything, so just check it out.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 311 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 8/18/2013 - George W., Fred W. - Complete