Author has written 3 stories for Naruto.
Name: Regularly go by Hamp
College: Bachelor's of Science in Math. (December 2014). Currently going for my Master's Degree.
Occupation: I work at a Golf Course and it's pretty dope, lots of wisdom from the old timers out there golfing. Plus who doesn't want to ride around in a golf cart looking like a bad ass. It has been a dream of mine since I saw the 1st Van Wilder. (Great movie btw)
Note to Readers: Readers, Readers, Readers. I love all of you, mainly because you take time out of your day to look at my story, my story. I thank you for that. But, being that fanfic writers (at least the ones I know) don't get any compensation for writing fanfiction, what motivation does an Author have to write you a story? The answer, your love and adulation for their stories. And how can you show that? With reviews or pms. I mean you take your time to read for 5-20 minutes of any given chapter but can't take another 1-2 minutes to type a quick review. That's all it takes. I personally review every chapter I read. I didn't beforehand but since beginning my own story, I make it a goal to type of a review each and every time I read another author's story. They put their time into writing the story you love (or hate for those weirdos that hate a story yet continue to read), you can at least give them some kind of feedback. Anything is better than nothing.
I do respond to all Pms and any reviews I read that have questions or statements that aren't correct. Obviously if you're a guest Reader I won't be able to contact you but to my fellow users, I do respond. I love feedback and I love just chatting with you guys, you all make my day better. Also, you guys have seen a plenty of stories or even written some of your own. Point me in their direction. I'm too lazy to filter through Fanfiction myself so PM me and I'll definitely check the story out.
I don't dig Yaoi, whatsoever. Yaoi is not my thing. I have nothing against it but as a Heterosexual man it is not my cup of tea. So please warn someone in your summary, so the wrong person, me, does not get blindsided with it after reading a few chapters of your story.
Naruto is my favorite manga, I haven't really gotten into Bleach like I want to but it's dope and I won't be loss if a story has Bleach Elements in it
Hobbies: Reading books (Love those Eric Thomas Ones, Self-Help, and anything regarding success). Listening to music. Watching Football, Basketball, Boxing and UFC. I'm also a youtube guy, I'll watch one video then end on something that has nothing in common with the beginning video, and that process usually takes several hours.
Miscellaneous (Random Thoughts)
-Why the the hell is every Konoha kunoichi fucking gorgeous? Am I the only one that thinks that. God damn it's like a prerequisite to be good looking just to join the academy as a Female Nin.
-Fanfiction, I don't know when I came here or why I even bothered staying...oh right cause I saw Kenchi618's The Sealed Kunai Story, shit was dope and it made me splurge through the rest of the site. But if I ever see Kenchi618, I may attempt to kick his ass for the countless hours of my life I've spent reading stories on here that have no real inclination to better my life. And I use attempt due to while reading his bio, it says he's a MMA fighter. Even with the Red Karate Belt, that I achieved in the 4th grade from Sensei Washington, it still wouldn't be enough to not warrant a complete massacre finished off with a triangle choke to send me to blissful unconsciousness.
-Based on that last thought, it's safe to assume that I am a follower of Kenchi618's will. I admire the guy as a writer on that site and as such, my writing will reflect his as much as I can to spread "Kenchi-fu" to the Fanfic populace.
- Naruto should of been a Senju in the story since Kishimoto wants to compare Naruto and Sasuke to Hashirama and Madara, respectively, all the time. Damn
-Mokuton is so overpowered, but it'd definitely be the one bloodline I'd want. Its so versatile and did you see that big ass statue Hashirama erected from the ground (Shinsuusenju if you don't know what I mean). I mean hot damn. The Byakugan(2nd), being able to see in a damn 360 and never being caught off guard is amazing (Kenchi618's bio made me realize that). Last but not Least, the Shikotsumyaku (Dead Bone Pulse)... greatest kekkai genkai never given its due because it didn't last long in the Canon Story.
-Congrats to the Naruhina and SasuSaku fans! Them pairings.
-Profanity, I'm not one to use it regularly but it does have its role in this world. I haven't found one crappy situation that the word Fuck can not describe. But I do not like people and stories that use it every other word. Like c'mon son, use better diction.
-I feel high school was pointless except for the actual social things, the education that I attained there has no real value except to get a minimum wage job. Plus I still haven't used the Pythagorean Theorem (A squared B squared= C squared) that I wasted my life on in Geometry in a real life situation, though I do hold out hopes..it would be an interesting situation if I could apply that theorem to it.
-I am a Pessimist by nature, though I hold an Optimistic view on some things. I feel I have great balance because I hold no Hope for the Future so I'm rarely disappointed but Anything presently I think will always come out Good. I have no clue if that made sense to you but it did in my mind.
-Sasuke gets all the Hoes son! But why the hell hasn't he even kissed one, or done anything? Maybe he is gay and this site has justification for all the Yaoi in it. I hold hopes that all the girls that are infatuated with Sasuke, he has dicked them down at some point when he was off camera. There's no other explanation for their love for him because his personality is shit (Karin found that out with a Chidori spear through her chest), and the looks, that's so shallow of them that it can't be possible, I hope.
-I can't be the only person that when immediately seeing a dude with a girl think "I could totally kick his ass if I went to talk to his girlfriend" and most of the time it is true except for the fact that I am a pacifist at heart, hell I've never been in a fight but I could still kick his ass though. I like that combination, I look so bad ass that dudes respect my physical prowess without even knowing that I've never been in a fight. I did wrestle and box in high school (22-4 in boxing, hell yeah I put that there to boost my ego) so I'm not ignorant if something does go down.
-Getting hit by a car driving in the street is bad in my opinion. Getting hit by a car that crashed into a building, the same building that I was enjoying my trail mix in is hell, but I still didn't have to go to the Hospital! Mainly because the bean bag chair I was hanging in was a nice buffer between that car and my ass.
- Okay Espisode 219 Naruto Shippuden has to be the funniest episode ever. If you hadn't seen it I'd advise watching it. Guy is hilarious and the scenes in that filler had me dying.
- Favorite Characters:
Itachi- Dude is possibly the most badass character in Naruto by far. Calm, cool, analytical, humble, smart, strong. A true prodigy, he was the man in Naruto. Loved his village, sacrificed himself for the future of it. Became a criminal of the highest degree. Had amazing ninja skills in all facets. Genjutsu, Genjutsu, Genjutsu..my favorite ninja technique by far and he was a master at it.
Jiraiya- Absolute badass character. From the quirks, the perverted ways, the seriousness and everything in between. he was the real deal as a shinobi. Could he have taught naruto cooler things, hell yes, but he was an amazing character.
Kakashi- Views on teammates are the best. Dude is smooth as hell. has the best poker face I've seen, can never tell what the hell he's thinking. Amazing character. Best lines in the Naruto universe
Hashirama- Dude was the shit. He can be a normal ass person outside of fighting, but can seriously switch that shit into cracking walls with presence alone to defeating Madara and the Kyuubi singlehandedly. God damn.
Tobirama- a perfect shinobi. Dude is calm, smart, and has the nuts to do what needs to be done. Space time master. Water release champion, no one comes close. That's what I'd do, I'd perfect my abilities til I had them down pack. I don't know why other shinobi wont do it.
Madara - Total Badass. The way he holds himself. He was the shit, not to mention the fucking meteors he can command to come crashing down.
Shikamaru - Smart as hell. teamwork is his forte. Always has a plan. Lazy But when his teammates need him he is always there.
Naruto- how could he not be. He's the main character. That no matter how many times you kick my ass, I'll keep coming back til I win attitude. That Battle Prowess is amazing. Can make a 1000 of himself at anytime without any ill effects. Never goes back on his word.
Minato- Made the two toughest decisions I'd ever seen in my life whether real people or not. Hell of a shinobi. Space time ninjutsu are my favorite. Didn't need big flashy jutsu. He was and is a boss in my eyes.
Guy-From his eccentric personality to the Eight Gates. Guy is the man. Plus he is possibly the funniest anime character created along with mini clone, Rock Lee.
Mei Terumi-Fuck me if she isn't the hottest chick in the Narutoverse. Then she has two kekkai genkai. The lines she's given and how powerful she is makes her definitely my favorite female character by far. Did I say she was hot?
Kisame Hoshigaki- Ever since starting my Naruto of the Mist story, I've grown an appreciation for the swordsman. His attitude was dope. He was probably the most loyal dude I've ever seen in the Narutoverse. Plus he always got the job done. And we haven't even gotten to his battle skills. Dude could change landscapes. And take on Killer Bee, the perfect Jinchuriki, and would have won had Ay not shown up. Gotta give props where they are due.
-Stories that bash characters...calm the f* down. Jesus Christ. Though sometimes I agree with it but if your whole story shits on a particular character(s) continuously without them realizing it, C'mon son. I'll stop reading it cause that's not even logical man
Sasuke, dude loss his entire family/clan in one night to the one person he idolized the most. Don't forget it was his older brother. Then proceeded to get mind fucked into viewing that shit for 24 hours in Itachi's Tsukuyomi, hell I'm glad he can still function properly after all that. Maybe that's why he doesn't go towards all the girls that like him, that part of his brain got shut down from it.
Sakura, she was a young girl, all young girls act like that, plus Naruto was a fucking spazz and deserved the physical abuse because Kishimoto made him look bad.
Kakashi, really? He's one of the coolest characters in the show and he'd never leave a comrade behind, get off his nuts about him not teaching naruto anything, neither did Jiraiya besides the rasengan. Honestly, what did anyone teach Naruto.
Minato, whoa, Minato in my eyes is the shit, the epitome of a shinobi of Konoha, not only did he give his life, but he had to sacrifice his own son to a life of hate, took some real balls to do and for that I applaud you.
Hiruzen (Sandaime Hokage)..this one can be bashed to an extent, why the hell did he announce to Konoha that naruto had the Kyuubi sealed inside him? Makes no sense. But outside of that, c'mon he's the Sandaime, no one was smoother.
Danzo, he is the man, I don't care about his ideas really cause he did what he thought was best for Konoha. He never sought praise for anything, "To be a shinobi is to sacrifice oneself. Closing your eyes to the sunlight, distinguishing yourself in the shadows. That is the true form of ninja." That quote is money. Exactly what a shinobi should be.
Hinata- Leave the poor girl alone. Goodness. She's striving to be a better person. She has serious family issues and happens to be a girl with a whiskered blonde fetish. Theres absolutely no reason to hate her because she's shy and timid, she's too kind for that hatred.
-This has to be the greatest excerpt ever.
Honorary Member of The Book of Log.
If you worship the holyness that is the log, copy and paste this section onto your profile... although you may want to change the comments
Position: Log Worshipper (Since 06/18/2013)
Possible Book of Log Positons:
Log Worshipper: Beginning position. No requirements
Log Priest: You have created at least 1 Naruto related fanfic that frequently (every 2-4 chapers) praises the almighty log and actually fits into the story
Log Pope (there can be more than 1 pope... its safer that way): you have created 3 naruto related fanfics that frequently praise the almighty log
OR the Fanfic that already occasionally praises the log has at least 400 reviews
OR you create a (decently made) Naruto fanfic focused on praising the log... log forbid.
Excerpt of the log number 124: when using the log to escape a fire jutsu, it is konoha custom to write an apology letter to the log, and depending on rank of jutsu escaped from depicts how many words are needed. c-rank, two thousand, B-rank, one thousand five hundred, a-rank, one thousand. only S-rank and higher or excused from the writing of the letter. even then, it is still reccommended.
Log excerpt number 231: if konoha shinobi celebrate the holiday of Christmas, then it is required that they put gifts under the Christmas log. Use of a full tree is an insult to the log and if found out that shinobi is uneligible from using the log for a period of two months.
Log excerpt number 437: Use of the log in a situation that clearly could be avoided using a variety of other methods or techniques is looked down upon. In order to repent for such actions, the following steps should be taken:
For every dent caused by your replacement you shall plant one sapling.
For every stab wound caused by your replacement you shall plant five
For every hole in the log caused by your replacement you shall plant ten
For every detached piece of the log caused by your replacement you shall
For a destroyed and unusable log caused by your replacement you shall plant
If your log is defective you may call 1-800-BAD-LOGS to file a complaint. If
'and the willow sayeth unto the ninja: wherefore dost i weep? 'tis tears of joy, as thy kin and mine together fell thine foes, who would bring the axe and torch to the wood. the log ist thine ally, and mine kin. calling upon the log, is to call upon me. to aid thee in battle, i weep my tear of joy.
'as the log takes your place, you become the log. the log becomes you. for a moment, you are an extension of the logs blessing unto ninja.'
'you are fools! your log is but a mockery of the power of ninja!- the ninja from the desert declared. and the people shook their heads.
'and as the smoke cleared, his foe stared in awe at the log. blackened and charred, the log crumbled. the ninja, filled with righteous wrath, fell upon his foe and slew him. he made his way to the log, and wept. his companion, the log that had accompanied him through so many battles, was no more. he spoke thus to his fallen companion: though now you have fallen in battle, you rest where the logs forever grow. the forest of life called for you, and you answered its call, as you did mine. i thank you my friend.'
'he despaired, for in this place of stone and earth, there was no logs to be found. reaching out with all his might, he begged for a log in the forsaken wasteland. and he was answered, and saved by the log, in a place where there were none.
'the log took his place and fell, forever into the abyss. the people, hearing of this, railed against him, in such numbers he swore to never endanger another log again. for many years, he fought without the log, growing more and more weary with each passing day. finally, he came across a foe that was too strong for him. as his life was about to end, he felt a familiar pull, and found himself out of harms way, seeing a log in his place. his stunned foe was felled in his stupor, and he approached the log, he knew it, for it was the same that fell so long ago. he asked of the log: why did you endanger yourself for me again? have you not done enough for me? and the log spoke: it is my duty, and our bond. we exist to save the ninja, and they exist to save the trees. we both play a part, for which i am content.'
Let it be known that it is absolutely forbidden to willingly perform the technique known as "1000 years of death" on a log. It is also equally frowned upon for one to replace oneself with a holy log for the purpose of avoiding said technique. The punishment for such actions is at least 6 months of banishment from the use of the holy log.
And That's Me. Please go back to your regularly scheduled programming, or maybe read one of my stories? Either or is cool with me. Ciao
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