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Joined 06-18-13, id: 4798328, Profile Updated: 05-07-17
Author has written 7 stories for Naruto, Bleach, and One Punch Man/ワンパンマン.

Name: Hamp

Age: 23

College: Bachelor's of Science in Math. (Summer 2014). Master's of Science in Math (Spring 2016)

Occupation: External Auditor (Junior Accountant)

Hobbies: Reading books. Listening to music. Watching sports. Dabbing; not the dance my friends. Spartan Races. I aspire to be a World Citizen. Writing. And lastly and the most important, I love the fairer sex. I love all women and they are truly my favorite hobby.

Note to Readers: Writing is simply a hobby of mine. A loose hobby that I don't take serious, especially on this site. I do not have a specific schedule when posting chapters. They come as they come. Sorry if you wanted them routinely but it is just not me.

I do respond to all Pms and any reviews I read that have questions or statements that aren't correct. Mostly. Some are just ridiculous and I don't even try to formulate a repsonse. Obviously if you're a guest reviewer, I won't be able to contact you. But to my fellow fanfic users, I do respond. I love feedback and I love just chatting with you guys. You all make my day better when I get the chance to converse with you.

Got a challenge? Send it to me. I, more than likely, won't accept it. But then again, I might. Can't promise it'd be good but I'd write it to the best of my ability. But it has to be something that peaks my interest.

I don't dig Yaoi, whatsoever. Yaoi is not my thing. I have nothing against it but as a Heterosexual man, it is not my cup of tea.

Naruto is my favorite manga. I've gotten into Bleach and Attack on Titans a bit, especially the latter. And I've read half of One Piece (at the moment). That's about it as far as me listing stuff. I dabble into a bit of everything really. That's a lie. Just mainly Naruto and Attack on Titans. But I won't be lost on the other things. Maybe.

Miscellaneous (Random Thoughts)

-Why the the hell is every Konoha kunoichi fucking gorgeous? Am I the only one that thinks that. God damn it's like a prerequisite to be good looking just to join the academy as a Female Nin.

-Fanfiction, I don't know when I came here or why I even bothered staying. Oh right, because I saw Kenchi618's The Sealed Kunai Story. Story was great and it made me splurge through the rest of the site. But if I ever see Kenchi618 in real life, I may attempt to kick his ass for the countless hours I've spent reading stories on here that have no real inclination to better my life. And I use attempt due to while reading his bio, it says he's a MMA fighter. Even with the Red Karate Belt, that I achieved in the 4th grade from Sensei Washington, it still wouldn't be enough to not warrant a complete massacre of a fight. Finished off with a triangle choke to send me to blissful unconsciousness.

It's safe to assume that I am a follower of Kenchi618's will. I admire the guy as a writer on this site and as such, my writing will reflect his as much as I can to spread "Kenchi-fu" to the Fanfic populace. I'm also certain the guy is cool in real life because that shit just translates in any context. Whether it be physically, verbally, or through text like Fanfiction. Be cool to share a beer with the guy.

-Naruto should of been a Senju in the story since Kishimoto wants to compare Naruto and Sasuke to Hashirama and Madara, respectively, all the time. I mean Gah Damn.

-Mokuton is so overpowered, but it'd definitely be the one bloodline I'd want. Its so versatile and did you see that big ass statue Hashirama erected from the ground (Shinsuusenju if you don't know what I mean). I mean hot damn. The Byakugan(2nd), being able to see in a damn 360 and never being caught off guard is amazing (Kenchi618's bio made me realize that). Last but not Least, the Shikotsumyaku (Dead Bone Pulse)... greatest kekkai genkai never given its due because it didn't last long in the Canon Story.

-Congrats to the Naruhina and SasuSaku fans! Them pairings.

-Profanity. I'm not one to use it regularly but it does have its role in this world. I haven't found one crappy situation that the word Fuck can not describe. But I do not like people and stories that use it every other word. Like c'mon son, get better diction.

-I feel high school was pointless except for the actual social things. The education that I attained there has no real value except to get a minimum wage job. Plus I still haven't used the Pythagorean Theorem (A squared plus B squared = C squared) that I wasted my life on in Geometry in a real life situation. Though I do hold out hopes. It would be an interesting situation if I could apply that theorem to it.

-I am a Pessimist by nature, though I hold an Optimistic view on some things. I feel I have great balance because I hold no Hope for the Future so I'm rarely disappointed but Anything presently I think will always come out Good. I have no clue if that made sense to you but it did in my mind.

-Sasuke gets all the Hoes son! But why the hell hasn't he even kissed one, or done anything? Maybe he is gay and this site has justification for all the Yaoi in it. I hold hopes that all the girls that are infatuated with Sasuke, he has dicked them down at some point when he was off camera. There's no other explanation for their love for him because his personality is shit (Karin found that out with a Chidori spear through her chest), and the looks, that's so shallow of them that it can't be possible. I hope.

-I can't be the only person that when immediately seeing a dude with a girl think "I could totally kick his ass if I went to talk to his girlfriend" and most of the time it is true. Except for the fact that I am a pacifist at heart, hell I've never been in a fight outside of an official ring but I'd still kick his ass though. I like that combination, I look so bad ass that dudes respect my physical prowess without even knowing that I've never been in a real fight. I did wrestle and box in high school (22-4 in boxing, hell yeah I put that there to boost my ego) so I'm not ignorant if something does go down and the brodies need my assistance in a bout of fisticuffs.

-Getting hit by a car driving in the street is bad in my opinion. Getting hit by a car that crashed into a building, the same building that I was enjoying my trail mix in is hell, but I still didn't have to go to the Hospital! Yeah, I'm a thug. Mainly because the bean bag chair I was hanging in was a nice buffer between that car and my ass. One of the scariest moments of my life btw and I may have peed myself a bit when I saw it coming for me.

-Okay Espisode 219 Naruto Shippuden has to be the funniest episode ever. If you hadn't seen it I'd advise watching it. Guy is hilarious and the scenes in that filler had me crying laughing.

-Do you all get giddy when you see that I posted a chapter? Wish I could see my readers' reactions to my posts. It'd be one of the greatest things I could ever witness I'm sure.

-I stopped drinking. Yes, yes. Quite an accomplishment. It was ironic to call myself a health conscious person, constantly losing sobriety to the bottle. I believe it happened since I've been drinking since the age of 17 (Shoutout that summer in Germany; good fucking times). So yeah, kudos to me. I actually have a lot more money now for prime weed so that's a good thing. Got some Girl Scout Shatter if any of my readers wanna toke up with me sometime.

-Vegan. It's like the best/worst thing ever. Let me explain. Pro: healthy beyond health. Con: no bacon... Pro: assert my hipster dominance on everyone. Con: no steak... Pro: Never gotta share your food. Con: No bacon. There's more but you get the point I'm sure. It's a cool thing and I'm so far enjoying the shift in my life. To any chicas reading this, slide in my pms girl. I'll send a cajun bod pic. I look cookie cutter sexy right now. Can you say 7% body fat? Cause that's what the doctor says

Honorary Member of The Book of Log.

If you worship the holyness that is the log, copy and paste this section onto your profile... although you may want to change the comments

Position: Log Priest (Since 06/25/2016; Story- Forgotten Generation)

Possible Book of Log Positons:

Log Worshipper: Beginning position. No requirements

Log Priest: You have created at least 1 Naruto related fanfic that frequently (every 2-4 chapers) praises the almighty log and actually fits into the story

Log Pope (there can be more than 1 pope... its safer that way): you have created 3 naruto related fanfics that frequently praise the almighty log

OR the Fanfic that already occasionally praises the log has at least 400 reviews

OR you create a (decently made) Naruto fanfic focused on praising the log... log forbid.

Excerpt of the log number 124: when using the log to escape a fire jutsu, it is konoha custom to write an apology letter to the log, and depending on rank of jutsu escaped from depicts how many words are needed. c-rank, two thousand, B-rank, one thousand five hundred, a-rank, one thousand. only S-rank and higher or excused from the writing of the letter. even then, it is still reccommended.

Log excerpt number 231: if konoha shinobi celebrate the holiday of Christmas, then it is required that they put gifts under the Christmas log. Use of a full tree is an insult to the log and if found out that shinobi is uneligible from using the log for a period of two months.

Log excerpt number 437: Use of the log in a situation that clearly could be avoided using a variety of other methods or techniques is looked down upon. In order to repent for such actions, the following steps should be taken:

For every dent caused by your replacement you shall plant one sapling.

For every stab wound caused by your replacement you shall plant five

For every hole in the log caused by your replacement you shall plant ten

For every detached piece of the log caused by your replacement you shall
plant one sapling per square inch of detached log.

For a destroyed and unusable log caused by your replacement you shall plant
twenty-five saplings.

If your log is defective you may call 1-800-BAD-LOGS to file a complaint. If
your case is proven correctly your next replacement will be half off.

'and the willow sayeth unto the ninja: wherefore dost i weep? 'tis tears of joy, as thy kin and mine together fell thine foes, who would bring the axe and torch to the wood. the log ist thine ally, and mine kin. calling upon the log, is to call upon me. to aid thee in battle, i weep my tear of joy.
and the ninja spoke: yea, thee and thine kin shall forever be blessed among me and mine kin. for thine bravery will never be forgotten.'
-book of the log, song of the willow, verses 1-4

'as the log takes your place, you become the log. the log becomes you. for a moment, you are an extension of the logs blessing unto ninja.'
-book of the log, chronicle of the replacement verse 3

'you are fools! your log is but a mockery of the power of ninja!- the ninja from the desert declared. and the people shook their heads.
you have been denied the log for a long time, sandwalker. we cannot force you to see the glory of the log, but know this. when the time comes, and you have no other allies to call upon, the log will hear your prayers, and aid you.'
-book of the log, redwood journals verses 15-16

'and as the smoke cleared, his foe stared in awe at the log. blackened and charred, the log crumbled. the ninja, filled with righteous wrath, fell upon his foe and slew him. he made his way to the log, and wept. his companion, the log that had accompanied him through so many battles, was no more. he spoke thus to his fallen companion: though now you have fallen in battle, you rest where the logs forever grow. the forest of life called for you, and you answered its call, as you did mine. i thank you my friend.'
-book of the log, honor of the forest canticle I, verses 78-82

'he despaired, for in this place of stone and earth, there was no logs to be found. reaching out with all his might, he begged for a log in the forsaken wasteland. and he was answered, and saved by the log, in a place where there were none.
-book of the log, wanderers saga, verses 7-9

'the log took his place and fell, forever into the abyss. the people, hearing of this, railed against him, in such numbers he swore to never endanger another log again. for many years, he fought without the log, growing more and more weary with each passing day. finally, he came across a foe that was too strong for him. as his life was about to end, he felt a familiar pull, and found himself out of harms way, seeing a log in his place. his stunned foe was felled in his stupor, and he approached the log, he knew it, for it was the same that fell so long ago. he asked of the log: why did you endanger yourself for me again? have you not done enough for me? and the log spoke: it is my duty, and our bond. we exist to save the ninja, and they exist to save the trees. we both play a part, for which i am content.'
-book of the log, honor of the forest canticle II, verses 59-70

Let it be known that it is absolutely forbidden to willingly perform the technique known as "1000 years of death" on a log. It is also equally frowned upon for one to replace oneself with a holy log for the purpose of avoiding said technique. The punishment for such actions is at least 6 months of banishment from the use of the holy log.

And That's a Bio. Please go back to your regularly scheduled programming. Or maybe read one of my stories? Either or is cool with me.

-Hamp Out

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Better Left Unsaid by Kenchi618 reviews
Mizuki never got to shoot his mouth off at Naruto the night he took the Scroll of Seals. Other than skipping a half-manic monologue from him what exactly did this change for everyone's favorite blonde ninja? Who knows? Rated M for language/later events.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 76 - Words: 987,057 - Reviews: 9011 - Favs: 11,958 - Follows: 11,158 - Updated: 5/25 - Published: 12/14/2010 - [Naruto U., Ino Y.] Team Ten
Naruto: Great Clan Days by Kenchi618 reviews
Senju Hashirama's dream to unify all of the warring clans of his country under one village remained just that; a dream. Generations later, the ninja world still consists of pure clan affiliation. Enacting peace through understanding has fallen to the side. A catalyst is needed for any kind of change to occur, and it is all found in a little boy... for better or for worse. AU.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 26 - Words: 336,611 - Reviews: 2262 - Favs: 4,164 - Follows: 4,125 - Updated: 5/18 - Published: 5/18/2013 - Naruto U.
Nightfall by freowin reviews
Naruto is stolen from the village and left to die in a forest. He is found on deaths door by a civilian family, but what will happen when Naruto witnesses their Murder and is found by Jiraiya in the Ruins of his old home. Strong Naruto, Rinnegan Naruto, NarutoXOC
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 156 - Words: 796,825 - Reviews: 5699 - Favs: 7,068 - Follows: 6,278 - Updated: 3/21 - Published: 9/29/2011 - Naruto U.
The Holy Book of Log by Doer Of Things reviews
Currently a Work in Progress. This will be the first complete Holy Book of Log. It is friendly to all, even if you do not watch Naruto. Use this to spread the Holy word of the Log to your companions, and enlighten them with the truth.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 426 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 7 - Published: 10/25/2017
Small Changes by Digitize27 reviews
Really, how much can small things affect the world? Little things like the colour of someone's hair? Their Mentor? Maybe... their date of birth?
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 52 - Words: 277,072 - Reviews: 2377 - Favs: 4,818 - Follows: 4,339 - Updated: 7/21/2017 - Published: 4/3/2013 - Naruto U., Anko M. - Complete
Sage by Digitize27 reviews
When Naruto is given a gift considered legendary even in a world where walking on water is a daily occurrence for some, will it lead him on a path towards peace or will the consequences of said gift leave a hole in his heart too large to fill?
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 93 - Words: 511,296 - Reviews: 7247 - Favs: 8,895 - Follows: 6,403 - Updated: 11/13/2016 - Published: 7/13/2013 - Naruto U., Fū, OC - Complete
The Prodigy Namikaze by SoulReaperCrewe reviews
Naruto was born five years before the Kyuubi attack and the fox was sealed into his younger sister. His parent don't have the time to teach him so he looks to others to help him become a great shinobi. AU Powerful Mokuton Naruto. Alive Minato and Kushina. Chapter coming soon :)
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 31 - Words: 190,372 - Reviews: 8019 - Favs: 12,757 - Follows: 13,000 - Updated: 1/27/2016 - Published: 3/7/2013 - Naruto U., Kurotsuchi
Birth of the Forest by karldin reviews
The Yondaime Hokage unknowingly makes a change during the sealing, the consequences of which are unimaginable for both Naruto and Konoha. What do these consequences mean for Naruto? On indefinite HIATUS.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 22 - Words: 151,279 - Reviews: 1930 - Favs: 5,593 - Follows: 5,302 - Updated: 1/3/2015 - Published: 2/18/2013 - Naruto U.
The Sealed Kunai by Kenchi618 reviews
What if something made Naruto the dead-last that everyone sees him as? What if he really wasn't as weak as he seemed? The true Naruto, unleashed upon the shinobi world! AU Story starts at Invasion of Konoha arc and continues onwards.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 69 - Words: 670,128 - Reviews: 10974 - Favs: 13,746 - Follows: 9,193 - Updated: 8/20/2013 - Published: 6/14/2010 - Naruto U. - Complete
The Log by ThatReallyReallyWeirdDude reviews
"As the log takes your place, you become The Log and The Log becomes you. For a moment, you are an extension of the logs blessing unto ninja." As the Holy Book of Log enters Naruto's life, everything changes. LogWorshipper!Naruto Mokuton!Naruto
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 50,965 - Reviews: 557 - Favs: 1,938 - Follows: 1,639 - Updated: 4/25/2011 - Published: 11/13/2010 - Naruto U.
An Uzumaki Amongst the Dunes by pudgypudge reviews
Having been denied his birthright by the council of Konoha, Naruto forsakes the Leaf Village. He leaves for what he hopes is a better life among the shinobi of Suna, taking his family's scrolls and heirlooms with him.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 29 - Words: 172,558 - Reviews: 4416 - Favs: 8,476 - Follows: 4,260 - Updated: 3/31/2009 - Published: 12/28/2007 - Naruto U., Temari - Complete
Bring the Hammer Down by pudgypudge reviews
After a near death experience courtesy of a chidori, Naruto meets Kami and she makes him her own personal shinigami on earth. Given a holy warhammer to help him in his duties, Naruto must bring divine justice while maintaining ninja duties. Shippuden
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 28 - Words: 156,721 - Reviews: 2083 - Favs: 3,377 - Follows: 1,664 - Updated: 10/13/2008 - Published: 11/29/2007 - Naruto U., Tenten - Complete
Ourselves by SyncroX reviews
By myself, I am nothing, searching in the dark, trying to find answers. By herself, she is nothing, trying to lead me to the light, to give answers. But together, by ourselves, everything is clear. Forever and ever, I love you. -NaruSaku-
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 32,762 - Reviews: 180 - Favs: 573 - Follows: 113 - Published: 7/15/2008 - Naruto U., Sakura H. - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Hashirama's Heir: After Death reviews
Hashirama's Heir had a happy ending. What if the ending to my first story didn't end that way and that Naruto did die? How would the story turn in that instance? Let's find out. "I ain't fraid of no Ghost...except for when they try to devour my soul"
Crossover - Naruto & Bleach - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 10,810 - Reviews: 67 - Favs: 320 - Follows: 382 - Updated: 8/27 - Published: 10/16/2017 - Naruto U.
Project Jinchuriki reviews
"It's funny Sasuke...you and I could've easily...been standing in each other's shoes right now." -Uzumaki Naruto, Chapter 485. Hmm, what if Naruto and Sasuke did switch places? How would the NarutoVerse pan out with such a change? Let's Find Out. (Alternate Universe)
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 10,033 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 104 - Follows: 125 - Updated: 12/31/2017 - Published: 11/14/2017 - Naruto U.
Return of the Samsara reviews
Hagoromo grew tired of the repetitive cycle. Indra tried to take over the world, Ashura stopped him. Their respective reincarnations continued that same cycle. Having enough, Hagoromo decided to break it by giving all of his power to the next Ashura Reincarnation. How does the Narutoverse change with such an action? Let's find out. (Starts at Chunin Exam Arc and continues onward)
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 22,880 - Reviews: 168 - Favs: 893 - Follows: 1,058 - Updated: 11/6/2017 - Published: 10/18/2017 - Naruto U.
One Fox Man reviews
Naruto stole the Scroll of Seals that fateful night to learn one jutsu and become a Genin. The first jutsu listed becoming his signature for days to come after. What would happen if Naruto had delved further than that first jutsu? And said delving wound up with him plunged into an entirely different universe? Let's find out.
Crossover - Naruto & One Punch Man/ワンパンマン - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,047 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 202 - Follows: 242 - Published: 11/4/2017 - Naruto U.
Hashirama's Heir reviews
What if Kushina was the great granddaughter of Mito Uzumaki and thus, Hashirama Senju? What would Naruto's life be like as a direct descendant of the first Hokage? And he inherited more than just the "Will of Fire" from Hashirama? With the blood of The Shodai flowing in his veins, How will Naruto's journey change? Let's find out.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 33 - Words: 237,713 - Reviews: 1451 - Favs: 5,764 - Follows: 5,217 - Updated: 10/14/2017 - Published: 11/5/2013 - [Naruto U., Yugito N.] - Complete
Jiraiya's True Pupil reviews
*Under Construction* Naruto's training trip with Jiraiya bore great results, right? Maybe not so obvious results. What if there was a catalyst that shifted the goals of the training trip? How will it change the world if Naruto's focus shifted from the Kyubi to his actual skills? Lets find out. (Starts after Sasuke Retrieval Arc and continues onward).
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 97,641 - Reviews: 540 - Favs: 2,448 - Follows: 2,880 - Updated: 5/7/2017 - Published: 5/13/2015 - [Naruto U., Shizuka]
Other Fish in the Mist reviews
*Under Construction* AU. The Uzumaki Clan was wiped out during the Third World War. Some of them managed to allow their children to escape such a fate. In particular, an Uzumaki woman with very close ties to the Hidden Mist village. Could her child grow up to make a difference? How does one's life turn out growing up in the Bloody Mist Village? Let's find out. 'OC' Naruto
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 20 - Words: 118,280 - Reviews: 766 - Favs: 2,237 - Follows: 2,414 - Updated: 7/19/2016 - Published: 5/24/2014 - [Mei T., Naruto U.]