Author has written 8 stories for Twilight, Harry Potter, and Percy Jackson and the Olympians.
I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book.
I am the girl that people look through when I say something.
I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal.
I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face.
I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone.
I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year.
I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain.
BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Twilight, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things.
Copy and paste this on your profile if you're a true Twilighter/Fanpire/etc...
When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.
Doctors say I have multiple personalities. We disagree with that.
Education is important; school however, is another matter.
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.
If you hate it when people label you, copy this into your profile
If you have ever insulted someone so stupid that they didn't get the insult, copy this into your profile
If you love reading, copy this into your profile
If your best friend is obsessed with a fictional character, copy this into your profile
If you and your friend often say the same things at the same time by accident, then copy this into your profile
If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile.
Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?
There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count and those that can't.
One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh, he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask directions.
It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn.
I hate it when the voices and my imaginary friends fight.
Have you seen my mind? I seem to have lost it.
If all else fails, try reading the instructions.
Lying is the most fun a girl can have without owning a flamethrower. However, I own a flamethrower, and therefore, life holds more fun for me than just lying!
I'm not clumsy... The floor just hates me.
Smart is sexy.
When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.
Remember this, if someone is bothering you. It takes 40 muscles to frown, but it takes only three to stick up your middle finger and say, "Bite me!"
My imaginary friend thinks you have a very serious problem...
Yes, I hit like a girl. You could too if you hit a bit harder.
Ask me no questions, I will tell you no lies…
When in danger, when in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout.
Perfect men are only fictional.
Sticks and Stones may scar my skin but words slice through my soul within.
Death is God's way of saying you're fired. Suicide is humans way of saying you can't fire me, I quit
Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.
I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
Remember: Some people are alive only because it's illegal to shoot them.
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
Don't take life too seriously; no one gets out alive.
You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
I'm not a complete idiot –some parts are missing.
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
God must love stupid people; He made so many.
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
Ham and eggs. A day's work for a chicken, a life time commitment for a pig.
The trouble with life is there's no background music.
I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.
I Am Not That Girl:
I am not that girl,
The one that is super popular.
The one that is rich.
The one that will lie to get her way.
The one that doesn't care about your feelings.
The one that has a new boyfriend every week.
The one that hates life because she wears size two jeans.
The one that would cry over a boy.
The one that will give up because she broke a nail.
The one that started wearing make-up at nine years old.
I am that girl,
The one who likes books.
The one who pretends not to be sad, just to make others happy.
The one who reads and writes to escape.
The one who just wants to help.
The one that just wants to make a difference.
The one that doesn't look at race or sexuality.
The one that cries when she feels alone or helpless; it only shows that she's strong.
The one that knows she's beautiful, no matter what others say.
The one that refuses to believe that this is it.
The one that doesn't care if she eats too many cinnamon buns... They taste good.
The one that people like because she's crazy.
The one that will do anything to make people feel better.
The one who won't give in.
The one who won't give up.
Re-post this if you are original and unique, and want to announce it to the world!
This is weird, but interesting! If you can raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can. I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed erveylteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!Paste this to your profile if you can read this!
Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone.: Iheartjake1220, FaerieRose13, Dancer4Life15,Marigold Winters, SparklingTopazEyes, FairyNinjaPrincess, MyImmortal01, Twilightxfanatic21, Twilightloverforeverandever, darksinfulwolf, CauseILikeEmHot, IsaTheWolfGirl
I went to a party, Mom
And remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink, Mom
So I had a Sprite instead.
I felt proud of myself,
The way you said I would,
That I didn't drink and drive,
Though some friends said I should.
I made a healthy choice,
And your advice to me was right,
The party finally ended,
And the kids drove out of sight.
I got into my car,
Sure to get home in one piece,
I never knew what was coming, Mom
Something I expected least.
Now I'm lying on the pavement,
And I hear the policeman say,
The kid that caused this wreck was drunk,
Mom, his voice seems far away.
My own bloods all around me,
As I try hard not to cry.
I can hear the paramedic say,
This girl is going to die.
I'm sure the guy had no idea,
While he was flying high,
Because he chose to drink and drive,
Now I would have to die.
So why do people do it, Mom
Knowing that it ruins lives?
And now the pain is cutting me,
Like a hundred stabbing knives.
Tell sister not to be afraid, Mom
Tell daddy to be brave,
And when I go to heaven,
Put Daddy's Girl on my grave.
Someone should have taught him,
That it's wrong to drink and drive.
Maybe if his parents had,
I'd still be alive.
My breath is getting shorter,
Mom I'm getting really scared.
These are my final moments,
And I'm so unprepared.
Please don't cry for me, Mom.
When I needed you,
you were always there.
I have one last question, Mom.
Before I say good bye.
I didn't drink and drive,
So why am I the one to die?
I wish that you could hold me Mom,
As I lie here and die.
I wish that I could say I love you, Mom
So I love you and good-bye.
One message: DON'T DRINK AND DRIVE
Girls Don't realize these things;
I'm sorry that I bought you roses to tell you that I like you
I'm sorry That I was raised with respect not to sleep with you when you were drunk
I'm sorry That my body's not ripped enough to "satisfy" your wants
I'm sorry that I open your car door, and pull out your chair like I was raised
I'm sorry That I'm not cute enough to be "your guy"
I'm sorry That I am actually nice; not a jerk
I'm sorry I don't have a huge bank account to buy you expensive things
I'm sorry I like to spend quality nights at home cuddling with you, instead of at a club
I'm sorry I would rather make love to you then just screw you like some random guy.
I'm sorry That I am always the one you need to talk to, but never good enough to date
I'm sorry That I always held your hair back when you threw up, and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car, but when we went out you went home with another guy
I'm sorry That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere, but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend
I'm sorry If I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around
I'm sorry If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work
I'm sorry that you can't realize.. I've been the one all along.
I'm sorry If you read this and know somebody like this but don't care
But most of all
I'm sorry For not being sorry anymore
I'm sorry That you can't accept me for who I am
I'm sorry I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good enough to make it in your world.
I'm sorry I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for...
I'm sorry That I told you I loved you and actually meant it.
I'm sorry That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you instead of spending time with my family.
I'm Sorry That I cared
I'm sorry that I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different.
Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?" Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you.
If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry'
If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things'
This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murder chanted, "Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read this chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.
This is about abortion...
Mommy I am only 8 inches long but I have all my organs. I love the sound of your voice. Every time I hear it I wave my arms and legs. The sound of your heart beat is my favorite lullaby.
Mommy today I learned how to suck my thumb. If you could see me you could definitely tell that I am a baby. I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though. It is so nice and warm in here.
You know what Mommy I'm a boy! I hope that makes you happy. I always want you to be happy. I don't like it when you cry. You sound so sad. It makes me sad too and I cry with you even though you can't hear me.
Mommy my hair is starting to grow. It is very short and fine, but i will have a lot of it I spend a lot of my time exercising. I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes and stretch my arms and legs. I am becoming quite good at it too.
You went to the doctor today. Mommy, he lied to you. He said that I'm not a baby. I am a baby Mommy, your baby. I think and feel. Mommy, what's abortion?
I can hear that doctor again. I don't like him. He seems cold and heartless. Something is intruding my home. The doctor called it a needle. Mommy what is it? It burns! Please make him stop! I can't get away from it! Mommy! HELP me!
Mommy I am okay. I am in Jesus's arms. He is holding me. He told me about abortion. Why didn't you want me Mommy?
Every Abortion Is Just . . .
One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.
If you're against abortion, re-post this.
Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school
He told his friends that it was cool
And when he pulled the trigger back
It shot with a great crack
Mummy I was a good girl
I did what I was told
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold
But mummy when I went to school that day, I never said goodbye
I'm sorry mummy I had to go, but mommy please don't cry
When Johnny shot the gun he hit me and another
And all because he got the gun from his older brother
Mummy please tell daddy that I love him very much
And please tell Chris, my boyfriend, that it wasn't just a crush
And tell my little sister that she is the only one now
And tell my dear sweet grandmother that I'll be waiting for her now
And tell my wonderful friends that they were always the best
Mummy I'm not the first I'm no better than the rest
Mummy tell my teachers I won't show up for class
And never to forget this and please don't let this pass
Mummy why'd it have to be me no one deserves this
Mummy warn the others, mummy I left without a kiss
And mummy tell the doctors I know they really did try
I think I even saw a doctor trying not to cry
Mummy I'm slowly dying with a bullet in my chest
But mummy please remember I'm in heaven with the rest
Mummy I ran as fast as I could when I heard that crack
Mummy listen to me if you would
I wanted to go to college
I wanted to try things that were new
I guess I'm not going with daddy
On that trip to the new zoo
I wanted to get married
I wanted to have a kid
I wanted to be an actress
Mummy I wanted to live
But mummy I must go now
The time is getting late
Mummy tell my Chris
I'm sorry but I had to cancel the date
I love you mummy I always have
I know you know it's true
Mummy all I wanted to say is "mummy I love you"
In memory of the Columbian students that were lost
Please if you would
Pass this around
I'd be happy if you could
Don't smash this on the ground
If you pass this on
Maybe people will cry
Just keep this in heart
For the people that didn't get to say "goodbye"
If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile
If you have ever said something that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile!
If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.
If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this on your profile.
If you have ever felt the undeniable urge to slam your head into something, whether it is another person or not copy this into your profile.
If you love Horror movies, paste this in your profile.
If you like Evanescence, paste this in your profile.
If you love the color Silver, paste this in your profile.
If you believe in second chances, post this in your profile and add you name :Ga Nat Nat, Lady Aki, Jasmin Kaiba, insanechick13, Heaven Hell Angel, IsaTheWolfGirl
Drugs are bad news. Copy this into your profile.
If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.
If you've ever slapped yourself and/or banged your head on a table for no reason copy and paste this onto your profile
If you have ever sat in a class and poked the person in front of you just for fun, copy this into your profile.
If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.
I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it. If you are insane, enjoying every second, and proud of it, copy this and paste it into your profile.
There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile
If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile
98 percent of teenagers do or have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.
If you are like me and think abortions are cruel, wrong, and should become illegal, copy and paste this into your profile. No child deserves to die.
If you are like me and totally support homosexuals, copy and paste this into your profile. They are people just like you and me, so don't hate them just because their sexuality is different.
If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile.
93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile.
If you have ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile
If you read this, you have to re post it, guy or girl, or you will have bad luck for the rest of your life.
girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle
Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!
Guy: No, this is fun.
Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl: I love you, now slow down!
Guy: Now give me a big hug.
She gives him a big hug
Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.
In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died. Copy this onto your profile if you would do the same thing for someone you love(i read this and it really moved me every women and man deserves some one that loves them this way)
25 Reasons to Thank my Mother:
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC. "Because I said so, that's why.
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught t me IRONY. "Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. And my favourite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"
This is a story about a little girl that was abused.
If you care at all, copy and paste this into your profile:
My name is Sarah I am but three,
My eyes are swollen I cannot see,
I must be stupid I must be bad,
What else could have made
My daddy so mad?
I wish I were better I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy
Would still want to hug me.
I can't speak at all I can't do a wrong
Or else I'm locked up
All the day long
When I awake I'm all alone
The house is dark
My folks aren't home.
When my mommy does come
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll get just One whipping tonight
Don't make a sound!
I just heard a car
My daddy is back From Charlie's Bar.
I hear him curse
My name he calls I press myself
Against the wall.
I try and hide
From his evil eyes
I'm so afraid now I'm starting to cry.
He finds me weeping
He shouts ugly words,
He says its my fault
That he suffers at work.
He slaps me and hits me
And yells at me more,
I finally get free
And I run for the door.
He's already locked it
And I start to bawl,
He takes me and throws me
Against the hard wall.
I fall to the floor
With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues
With more bad words spoken.
But its now much too late
His face has been twisted
Into unimaginable hate.
The hurt and the pain
Again and again
Oh please God, have mercy!
Oh please let it end!
And he finally stops
And heads for the door,
While I lay there motionless
Sprawled on the floor.
My name is Sarah
And I am but three,
Tonight my daddy,
Child abuse, MAKE IT STOP!
Man: Where have you been all my life? Woman: Hiding from you.
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Your place or mine? Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: So, what do you do for a living? Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign? Woman: Do not enter.
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilized.
Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you. Woman: But would you stay there?
Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together Woman: Really, If I could rearrange the alphabet u wouldn't even exist!
Man: Your eyes they're amazing. Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing.
Man: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Woman: Did it hurt when they kicked you out of hell??
Man: I would die for you... Woman: Prove it!
Man: I'm all you've got good lookin' Woman: Then I must be struggling
Man: I know how to please a woman Woman: Then please leave me alone
Man: Does beauty run in your family? Woman: It obviously doesn't in yours!
If you are looking at a girl and she says "What are you looking at?" say "I thought you were good looking, but I was mistaken."
Girls are like apples on trees.
The best ones are at the top of the tree.
The boys don’t want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good,but easy.
So the apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality they are amazing.
They just have to wait for the right boy to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree
Calling me FAKE won't make you REAL
Calling me STUPID won't make you SMART,
Calling me WEAK won't make you STRONG,
Calling me UGLY won't make you PRETTY,
Calling me POOR won't make you RICH,
Calling me FAT wont make you SKINNY,
Calling me UNCOOL wont make you COOL,So why bother?
This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is an cat
This is idiot cat
This is busy cat
This is for cat
This is forty cat
This is seconds cat
Now read the THIRD word of every line
For me, crazy is a loose term.
Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser.
Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on.
Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumb-war with yourself.
Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do.
Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight.
Crazy is when you write Emmett Cullen or Jasper Whitlock is hot on your homework instead of doing it.
Crazy is when you draw Jasper's face and hot bod all over your Advanced Placement United States History notes when you should be concentrating on the A PUSH final the next day.
Crazy is when you run into a pole and say as your excuse you were daydreaming about your fictional boyfriend Jasper or Emmett.
Crazy is when you and your friends every conversation is about how hot Jasper is and how you wish you were Alice or a vampire. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile...
1. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what is so interesting about the eraser.
2. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on.
3. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumb war with yourself.
4. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do.
5. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in darkest powers (or almost, at least).
6. Crazy is when you fill up the tab separators in your binders with doodles/any other dP related thing you can think of about dP or the dP characters.
7. Crazy is when you can open up any book you've read and know exactly which part you're at by reading one word.
8. Crazy is when you laugh when nothing's funny.
9. Crazy is when you have OSD (Obsessive Sirius Disorder).
10. Crazy is when you crack up if someone says "Oatmeal!".
11. Crazy is when you suddenly start babbling about gourds.
12. Crazy is when you start laughing at the term 'cheap plastic' when no one else knows why.
13. Crazy is when you randomly started laughing like a maniac during a test.
14. Crazy is when your trying to help someone, but get side-tracked by a bug.
15. Crazy is when you just KNOW frogs will rule the world some day!
16. Crazy is when you run into a glass door and laugh at your blood all over the floor.
17. Crazy is when you find yourself having a crush on a fictional character, who not only happens to be married and a father, but also dead.
18. Crazy is running around in your pajamas yelling 'I'M SO ATTRACTIVE!' just because you need a confidence boost.
19. Crazy is making enough inside jokes to fill up several books within the span of one day.
20. Crazy is when you start to sing at every awkward pause just because you don't like silence.
21. Crazy is having the urge to do something illegal, and then happening to mention the urge to your mother in casual conversation :P
22. Crazy is going on FanFiction every spare moment when you have a project that you haven't started due the next day.
23. Crazy is dipping a carrot in orange juice because you feel like it.
24. Crazy is when you start laughing for no reason at the most inappropriate moment, and you don't even know why, so you laugh harder.
25. Crazy is you and your friends naming stuffed animals unisex names with a mixture of your names, and the boys you like's names. Crazy is also then baptizing said animals though one friend is a Catholic, another is an Atheist, and the third is a Muslim. (And naming each other the godmothers of course!)
26. Crazy is sitting in a bathtub because you want to be rebellious.
27. Crazy is bursting out laughing just because its too quiet.
28. Crazy is annoying someone for the heck of it.
29. Crazy is being absolutely crazily euphoric for at LEAST twenty seconds.
30. Crazy is putting a stuffed animal on the ceiling fan so it gets a nice view.
31. Crazy is having a Fanfiction story idea almost every day from the most common things (ie. The grocery store, school, the sky).
32. Crazy is when people start to worry about what you’re thinking when you get too quiet.
33. Crazy is going in to hysterics when a classroom vent rattles and then the teacher yells "What did you do?!"
34. Crazy is naming everything you see, I named my keyboard Robert Treesenten
35. Crazy is running around with your friend in a hotel and going on every floor on the hotel just for the heck of it
36. Crazy is being paranoid about your pet word out to get you
37. Crazy is asking for bubble wrap for your birthday every year, and never getting it
38. Crazy is being in the living room and saying "Look how big my mustache is!" and nobody cares
39. gotton tired and slapped myself to wake me up
40. jumped out of a tree for the fun of it
41.went out while it was snowing and say look it a frozen bug! (even if there is nothing there)
42. someone said i dont belive in ghost . i say you dont belive in ghost ?!?!! Then why is Fred making faces and laughing his head off at that ?
43.Went out in the snow in jeans and a t-shirt and play all day then come in the house and say IM NOT COLD !
44. hang upside down on a couch and forget your upside down and say OMG! THE SKY IS FALLING !!!
45. See a really gross and scary movie and then say THAT WAS AWESOME !!!! LETS WATCH ANOTHER ONE !
46. Stay up all night and then the next day be so hyper.
47. Mom asks you what you want for christmas and you say I WANT A WOLF !
48. Hit you head and fall down then when everything stops spinning you start jumping up and down and singing you favorite song .
49. look at a light then start laughing for no reason.
50. Start jumping up and down and singing cause you dont like the silence or your just really bored .
51. Crazy is laughing when the teacher asks every one to be quiet and every one stares at you.
She said that she wanted to get high- he took her to the tallest hill in town.
She said that she wanted to stay up all night & drink- he gave her a 12 pack of caffeinated Pepsi & said drink up.
She said that she wanted to shoot herself- he gave her a water gun, put her finger on the trigger & aimed it at her face.
She said that she wanted to cut herself up- he took a Polaroid of her, handed it to her along with scissors & had her cut it up.
She said that she wanted to see her blood- he took her to get her ears pierced.
She said that she wanted to cry herself to sleep- he had her watch a sad romantic movie before bed.
She said that she wanted to be alone- he gave her a nametag that sad "my name is: ALONE."
She said that she wanted to have someone there to take care of her, always;- he asked her when he wasn’t.
WHY BOYS SHOULDN'T CHEAT
There was once a girl named Ashley who had a boyfriend named Jack.
Jack was the most popular guy in school.
The three most popular girls were Courtney, ASHLEY, and Emma.
Jack thought of Ashley as OKAY, but he REALLY liked Courtney.
Courtney liked jack also.
Well, of course she did, everyone did!
Ashley and Courtney were worst enemies.
Courtney tried to steal Jack away every time she had a chance to.
One day, Courtney asked Jack if he wanted to go to the movies.
Ashley heard everything...what movie theater and what time.
Ashley approached the movies that night and followed Jack and Courtney.
Ashley sat right behind them.
She watched them get close to each other and kiss...not only kiss, but practically get it on in the theater.
Courtney told Jack: "Do you want to come to my place and skip this boring movie?" He replied": "Hell, yes."
Ashley had peeked through Courtney's window.
Jack and her were messing around and Ashley watched the whole thing.
The next day at school Ashley wasn't there.
For the next few days Ashley wasn't there.
A week later her mother found her in her closet dead...she committed suicide because she had loved Jack so much.
Next to Ashley's dead body was a note.
A note that read: My dearest Jack, I watched you at the movie and at Courtney's house and I will continue to watch you.
I never thought you would do something like this to me.
I really loved you, Jack.
I died for you just like Jesus died for us.
Always with you, Ashley.
Please forward this or Ashley will haunt you and try to kill you because she wants everyone to know about Courtney. Thank you.
What makes life 100 percent?
Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100 percent? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants more than 100 percent. How about achieving 103 percent? Here's a little math that might prove helpful.
If: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
is represented as: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26
H A R D W O R K
8 1 18 4 23 15 18 11 = 98
K N O W L E D G E
11 14 15 23 12 5 4 7 5 = 96
A T T I T U D E
1 20 20 9 20 21 4 5 = 100
and: B U L L S H I T
2 21 12 12 19 8 9 20 = 103
So, it stands to reason that hard work and knowledge will get you close, attitude will get you there, but bullshit will put you over the top.
And look how far this will take you...
A S S K I S S I N G
1 19 19 11 9 19 19 9 14 7 = 118
Think about it... and have a nice day at work... :)
You say Pink
Your One and Only Wish
Do it one by one, don't look ahead!
1. Write the name of a person of the opposite sex.
2. Which is your favorite color out of red, black, blue, green, and yellow?
3. Your first initial?
4. Your month of birth?
5. Which color do you like more, black or white?
6. Name of a person of the same sex as yours.
7. Your favorite number?
8. Do you like California of Florida more?
9. Do you like the lake or ocean more?
10. Write down a wish (a realistic one.)
Are you done?
If so, scroll down
1. You are completely in love with this person.
2. If you choose:
Red: You are alert and you life is full of love.
Black: You are conservative and aggressive.
Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back.
Blue: you are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the one you love.
Yellow: You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are down.
3. If you're initial is:
A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life.
L-R: You try to enjoy life to the maximum and you love life is soon to blossom
S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.
4. If You were born in:
Jan-Mar: The year will for very well for you and you will discover the you fall in love with someone totally unexpected.
Apr-June: you will have a strong love relationship that will no long but the memories will last forever
July-Sept: You will have a great year and will experience a major life changing experience for the good.
Oct-Dec: Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your soul mate.
5. If you choose...
Black: your life will take on a different direction; it will seem hard at the time but will be the best thing for you and you will be glad for the change.
White: You will have a friend who completely confides in ykou and would do anything for you but you may not realize it.
6. This person is your best friend.
7. This is how many close friends you have in a lifetime.
8. If you choose...
California: You like adventure.
Florida: You are a laidback person.
9. If you choose...
Lake: You are loyal to your friends and your love. And you are very reserved.
Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.
10. This wish will come true only if you Re-post this bulletin in one hour and it will come true before your next birthday!
FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"
FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."
FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.
BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"
FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.
BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.
FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.
BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"
FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.
BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.
FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.
BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.
FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.
BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"
FRIENDS: Will help you move.
BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.
FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.
FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!
FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!" we messed up! (:D. . . lg1514. . . .)
FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.
FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.
FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."
FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.
FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.
FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!"
FRIENDS: Freak out and help you call 911 when your house is on fire
BEST FRIENDS: Will be roasting marshmellows over the house fire, while flirting with the HOT fireman
Without GOD, our week would be:
Repost this if you are not ashamed of GOD.
Seven days without GOD will make one weak.
1. YOUR REAL NAME: Christine
2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME: First 3 letters of real name plus izzle: Crizzle
3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: Favorite color and favorite animal: Silever Wolf
4. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: 2nd Favorite color and favorite drink: Black Coke
5. YOUR ARAB NAME: 2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms maiden name, 3rd letter of your dads middle name, 1st letter of a siblings first name, last letter of your moms middle name: Reroida
6. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: Mothers and father's middle name: Lina Aris
7. YOUR GOTH NAME: Black and the name of one your pets: Black Kengo
8. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: Favorite fruit and something that can go wrong: Watermelon Stroke
9. YOUR PIRATE NAME: Any color and a pirate accessory: Silver wooden-leg
10. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: Your middle name and street you live on: Marina Effessou
11. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: First 3 letters of your last name and first 2 letters of your first: Thech
12. YOUR STREET NAME: Favorite ice-cream and favorite cookie: Cookies Chocolate
There's a 13 year old girl, and she wished that her dad would come home from the army, because he'd been having problems with his heart and right leg. It was 2:53 p.m . When she made her wish. At 3:07 p.m. (14 minutes later), the doorbell rang, and there her Dad was, luggage and all!!
I'm Katie and I'm 20 and I've been having trouble in my job and on the verge of quitting. I made a simple wish that my boss would get a new job. That was at 1:35 and at 2:55 there was an announcement that he was promoted and was leaving for another city. Believe me...this really works!
My name is Ann and I am 45 years of age. I had always been single and had been hoping to get into a nice, loving relationship for many years. While kind of daydreaming (and right after receiving this email) I wished that a quality person would finally come into my life. That was at 9:10 AM on a Tuesday. At 9:55 AM a FedEx delivery man came into my office.He was cute, polite and could not stop smiling at me. He started coming back almost everyday (even without packages) and asked me out a week later. We married 6 months later and now have been happily married for 2 years.
What a great email it was!!
Just scroll down to the end, but while you do, think of a wish. Make your wish when you have completed scrolling. Whatever age you are, is the number of minutes it will take for your wish to come true. ex.you are 25 years old, it will take 25 minutes for your wish to come true).
Go for it!
Congratulations! Your wish will now come true in your age minutes.
Now follow this carefully...it can be very rewarding!
If you repost this within the next 5 min. something major that you've been wanting will happen.
This is scary!
Girl: I really like you. And I... I think I'm falling in love with you.
Girl: What do you mean "ok"?
Boy: I don't like you like that...
Girl: Why not?
Boy: I can't tell you... maybe another time ...
From then on, the girl kept asking the boy "Why not?" whenever she saw him, and he kept answering the same answer of "I'll tell you later." Finally the girl got fed up.
Girl: I'm tired of this! Tell me why you don't like me!
Boy: Do you really wanna know why?
Boy: It's because you're uglier than fuck! What's the point of going out with someone when they're not pretty?!
(The nerve!! so superficial!!)
Girl: But... I...
Boy: Just shut up and leave me alone!
The boy leaves and the girl is sitting there alone, crying her heart out. Then her cell phone rings.
Mom: Sweetheart? I want you to go home, ok? I'll be home from work in a few hours.
Girl: Alright Mom.
Mom: I love you.
Girl: I love you too, Mom.
Mom: Bye Bye.
The girl heads home and once she got there, she went in the bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror.
Girl: I'm not pretty enough...
She set to work, knowing fully well what she was going to do. 2 hours later, her Mom came home and heard the bath water running. She went upstairs to find the hallway flooded so she knocked on the door.
Mom: Honey? Are you alright?
She opened the door and was shocked at the site. The bath was overflowing onto the floor, and the water was tinted red. She walked over to see what was inside and screamed. There, her little girl was lying with cuts all over her face and wrists. Her Mom backed away and was going to run to call the police when something caught her eye. On the mirror were these words written in blood:
"Am I pretty enough now?"
No one deserves to be told that by someone they love. If you find it messed up then forward this to everyone you know. A person's appearance doesn't count. What counts is their heart inside of them and their personality. No one wants to be told they're not good enough...
you call me a bitch and i say b.i.t.c.h= Beautiful, Intelligent, Thoughtful, Caring, and H stands for me Hitting u in the face for calling me a bitch(:
The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Post this on your profile if you hate racism
Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?
Girl: Do you like me?
Girl: Do you want me?
Girl: Would you cry if I left?
Girl: Would you live for me?
Girl: Would you do anything for me?
Girl: Choose--me or your life
Guy: My life
The girl runs away in shock and pain and The Guy runs after her and says...
The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.
The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.
The reason I don't want you is because I need you.
The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.
The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.
The reason why I'm not willing to do anything for you is because I would do everything for you.
The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.
If you find this incredibly cute and touching, copy and paste it into your profile.
10 Commandments of a Teenager
1) Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping.
(why wait that long)
2) Thou shall not do drugs.
(alcohol lasts longer, not to mention being cheaper.)
3) Thou shall not steal from K-Mart.
(Walmart has a bigger selection)
4) Thou shall not be arrested for vandalism.
(destruction has a bigger effect, I can tell you all about this)
5) Thou shall not steal from your parents.
(everyone knows grandma has more money)
6) Thou shall not get into fights.
(Cat fight anyhow...just start them.)
7) Thou shall not skip class.
(just take the whole day off)
8) Thou shall not strip in class.
(Hooters pays more)
9) Thou shall not think about having sex.
(like Nike says, "just do it")
10) Thou shall not help old ladies across the street.
(just leave'm in the middle)
If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em.
6 REASONS NOT TO MESS
> >A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a
human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human;
it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him ".
> >A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they
were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied,
"They will in a minute."
> >A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she
asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered,
"Thou shall not kill."
> >One day, a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at
the sink. She suddenly notices that her mother had several strands of white
hair on her head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked,
"Why are some of your hairs white, Momma?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time you do something to make me sad or
unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl pondered this revelation for a while, then said,
"Momma, how come ALL of Grandma's hairs are white?"
> > The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to
persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'that's Michael, He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."
> >The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school
for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun
made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
"Take only ONE. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a
large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
This is freaky as anything...DO NOT CHEAT (You'll will kick yourself later) I was a little skeptical trying this, but if you follow the instructions to the "t" you'll be surprised!! All of my answers were accurate. We'll see tomorrow if the wish comes true. I'll let you know. Take 3 minutes and try this...it will freak you out! BUT NO CHEATING! This game has a funny/spooky outcome. Don't read ahead...just do it in order! It takes about three minutes... It's worth a try. First, get a pen and paper. When you actually choose names, make sure it's people you actually know and go with your first instinct. Scroll down one line at a time...and don't read ahead or you'll ruin it!
1. First, write the numbers 1 through 11 in a column.
2. Then, beside numbers 1 and 2, write down any two numbers you want.
3. Beside the 3 and 7, write down the names of members of the opposite sex.
NO LOOKING AHEAD...OR IT WON"T TURN OUT RIGHT!
4. Write anyone's name (like friends or family...) in the 4th, 5th, and 6th spots.
5. Write down four song titles in 8,9,10, and 11.
GO WITH YOUR INSTINCT PEOPLE!!
6. Finally, make a wish.
And now the key for the game...
1. You must tell (the number in space 2) people about this game.
2. The person in space 3 is the one that you love.
3. The person in 7 is one you like but can't work out.
4. You care most about the person you put in 4.
5. The person you name in number 5 is the one who knows you very well.
6. The person you name in 6 is your lucky star.
7. The song in 8 is the song that matches with the person in number 3.
8. The title in 9 is the song for the person in 7.
9. The tenth space is the song that tells you most about YOUR mind.
10. and 11 is the song telling you how you feel about life
6 Truths of Life
1. You cannot touch all of your teeth with your tongue
2. All idiots after reading this will try it
3. The first truth is a lie.
4. You are now laughing at your own stupidity
5. You will put this on your profile
What a Boyfriend SHOULD do:
When she walks away from you mad, follow her
When she stare's at your mouth, Kiss her
When she pushes you or hits you, Grab her and dont let go
When she start's cussing at you, Kiss her and tell her you love her
When she's quiet, Ask her what's wrong When she ignore's you, Give her your attention
When she pull's away, Pull her back
When you see her at her worst, Tell her she's beautiful
When you see her start crying, Just hold her and dont say a word
When you see her walking, Sneak up and hug her waist from behind
When she's scared, Protect her
When she lay's her head on your shoulder, Tilt her head up and kiss her
When she steal's your favorite hat, Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night
When she tease's you, Tease her back and make her laugh
When she doesnt answer for a long time, reassure her that everything is okay
When she look's at you with doubt, Back yourself up
When she say's that she like's you, she really does more than you could understand
When she grab's at your hands, Hold her's and play with her fingers
When she bump's into you, bump into her back and make her laugh
When she tell's you a secret, keep it safe and untold
When she looks at you in your eyes, don't look away until she does
When she misses you, she's hurting inside
When you break her heart, the pain never really goes away
When she says its over, she still wants you to be hers
When she repost this bulletin, she wants you to read it
Stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything.
When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go
When she says she's ok dont believe it, talk with her- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you
Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her
Call her before you sleep and after you wake up
Treat her like she's all that matters to you.
Tease her and let her tease you back
Stay up all night with her when she's sick
Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid
Give her the world
Let her wear your clothes
When she's bored and sad, hang out with her
Let her know she's important
Kiss her in the pouring rain
When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is; "Who's ass am I kicking babe?"
If you do post this in the next four minutes the one you love will :
Love vs. Sex
A teenage girl about 17 had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year.
She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.
As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger.
When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it.
However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her.
She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection.
Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her.
When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.
The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there.
Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep.
Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station.
She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story.
The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him.
She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before.
When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed.
The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her.
She asked if they would ask the man one question.
Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her.
When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her."
Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God?
Repost this as Love vs. Sex if you truly believe in God..
'Never Argue With A Woman'
One morning, the husband returns the boat to their lakeside cottage after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up, and begins to read her book. The peace and solitude are magnificent. Along comes a Fish and Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing? ''Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?').'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her. 'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading. 'Yes, but I see you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up. 'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,' says the woman. 'But I haven't even touched you,' says the Game Warden. 'That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. 'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left. MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think
Post this if you are a true HP fan
The Harry Potter Pledge:
I promise to remember Harry
When someone grows up with no love
I promise to remember Ron
When someone is jealous
I promise to remember Hermione
When I meet someone with wisdom beyond their years
I promise to remember James and Lily
when someone dies before their time
I promise to remember Dumbledore
At the thought of the greater good
I promise to “Solemely Swear That I Am Up To No Good”
for Gred, Forge, and Padfoot of course
I promise to remember Moony
And fight for human rights
I promise to remember Snape
When My heart fills with remorse
I promise to remember Narcissa
When I’d do anything for family
I promise to remember Tonks
When someone is hyper
I promise to remember Hedwig,
who lived and died soaring
I promise to remember Percy
When ambition gets the best of me
I promise to be careful
For Moody’s sake, of course
I promise to remember Hagrid
When one is wrongly blamed
I promise to remember Neville
when I stand up for what is right
I promise to remember the Marauders
When a friend says “Call me and I’ll be there.”
Yes I promise that I will
remember Harry Potter
26 THINGS I MUST NOT DO AT HOGWARTS AGAIN:
1. I will NOT sing “We’re off to see The Wizard” when I am sent to the headmasters office.
2. Dobby is NOT Yoda is disguise.
3. He is NOT Gollum either.
4. I will NOT bring a magic-8-ball to Divination Class.
5. My homework was NOT eaten by a werewolf. Especially when my teacher is Professor Lupin.
6. I will NOT tell the first years to make a tree-house in the Whomping Willow.
7. I will NOT give Lupin a flea collar.
8. Nor will I leave dog-biscuits on his desk.
9. If a classmate falls asleep I will NOT take advantage of this and draw a Dark Mark on their arm.
10. Starting a betting-pool on the fate of this year’s Defence against the Dark Arts teacher is tasteless and tacky. It is NOT a clever money-making concept.
11. I do NOT have a Dalek Patronus.
12. I will NOT teach House-Elves to impersonate Jar-Jar Binks.
13. Shouting “To Infinity and Beyond!” was only funny the first time I took off on a broom.
14. I will NOT refer to the summoning charm (Accio) as “The Force”.
15. “Springtime for Voldemort” is NOT an appropriate title for the school production.
16. I will NOT greet Prof. McGonagall with “What’s new Pussy-cat?”.
17. I will NOT send shampoo to Snape’s office, no matter how badly he needs it.
18. "Potter 6, Voldemort 0" is not a valid T-shirt slogan.
19. Even though they are easier to use and probably more effective, I will not use guns against the Death Eaters.
20. I will not charm Firenze pink and call him "My Little Pony."
21. No matter how funny it is I will NOT leave kitty litter in Prof. McGonagall’s office.
22. I will NOT dress up as Lord Voldemort for Halloween.
23. I will NOT ask Harry Potter if his “Scar-Senses” are tingling.
24. I will NOT call Dumbledore Santa Claus. Even if it is Christmas.
25. I will NOT tell Voldemort to “Get a life”.
26.I will NOT tell Draco Malfoy to 'make like a ferret and bounce'
What each kiss means:
Kiss on the stomach--"lets have sex"
Kiss on the Forehead --"Forever you will be mine"
Kiss on the Ear --"I'm horny"
Kiss on the Cheek --"We're friends"
Kiss on the Hand --"I adore you"
Kiss on the Neck --"We belong together"
Kiss on the Shoulder --"I want you"
Kiss on the Lips --"I love you" OR "I want you"
Holding Hands --"We can learn to love each other"
Slap on the Butt --"That's mine"
Playing with the Ear --"I can't live without you"
Holding on tight --"Don't let go"
Looking into each other's Eyes --"Don't leave me"
Playing with Hair on Head --"Tell me you love me"
Arms around the Waist --"I love you too much to let go"
Laughing while Kissing --"I am completely Comfortable with you"
A 15 year old girl holds hands with her 1 year old son. People call her a "slut", no one knows she was raped at age 14. People call another guy "fat", no one knows he has a serious disease causing him to be overweight. People call an old man "ugly", no one knows he experienced a serious injury to his face while fighting for our country in the war. Re-post this if you are against bullying and stereotyping. I bet 88% of you won't... but you should.
1.Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"
2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.
3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.
4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.
5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.
6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.
7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.
8. Come down with a BAD case of Tourette's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.
9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.
10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.
12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.
13. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Fuck this!" and walk out triumphantly.
15. Show up completely drunk (completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).
16. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.
17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.
18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.
19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave.
20. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice.
22. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave.
23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary.
25. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the hell are you? Where's the regular guy?"
26. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up!
27. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.
28. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"
30. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.
31. In the middle of the test, have a friend rush into the classroom, tag your hand, and resume taking your test for you. When the teacher asks what's going on, calmly explain the rules of Tag Team Testing to him/her.
32. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."
33. Stand up after about 15 minutes, and say loudly, "Okay, let's double-check our answers! Number one, A. Number two, C. Number three, E..."
35. Wear a superman outfit under your normal clothes. 30 minutes into the exam, jump up and answer your phone, shouting "What? I'm on my way!!". rip off your outer clothes and run out of the room. strike a pose first for added effect.
38. Bring a giant cockroach into the room and release it on a girl nearby.
40. Bring one pencil with a very sharp point. Break the point off your paper. Sharpen the pencil. Repeat this process for one hour.
41. Make Strange noises... get people to stare... look at the person next to you as if he/she did it.
44. Use Invisible Ink to answer the whole exam.
45. Order catering. The catering company should come in about halfway through the test, and should include at least three waiters, eight carts of food, and five candelabras.
No Means No
Guy: "Can we have sex right now?
2 months later...
Girl: "Doctor, what's wrong with me. I haven't had my time of the month in 2 months."
The story gets out that she is pregnant, and people start looking to the Guy. He claims that it isn't his because she was sleeping with every guy in the school(which was a lie). He goes to her and tells her, "I'm telling you, if you lie to people and say that I raped you, I'll kill you."
Girls, if this story touched you, put this on your profile under "No means no"
For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are.)
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
Isn't it funny that when you go to the shops with your friends you look down at the girl with black jeans and studs but smile at the girl wearing a a mini with a tshirt that barely cover anything?
Isn't it funny you can change your music taste to impress a guy but when it comes to a girl who likes her own music and her own style, you give her a mouthful?
ISN'T IT FUNNY that a guy can get away with being a gangsta but the emo gets a mouthful from everyone? are you laughing?
Isn't it funny a emo can be quiet all through the week but gets more shit from everyone than the girl who sleeps around and sells her virginity?
ISN'T IT FUNNY that you dont mind your friends drinking, smoking but the minute someone mentions emo music you can give them a lecture on melodramatic teenage outcasts?
I'm not laughing.
IT'S SO FUNNY that you and your friends can make a girls life hell and not know anything about the silent battle she might be fighting.
ISN'T IT FUNNY that you can call emos, punks, goths the retards but still manage to get through your day without an inch of guilt in your heart.
HOW YOU CAN CALL A GIRL A POSER, HOW CAN YOU SAY "YOUR NOT EMO" OR "ATTENTION SEEKER" WITHOUT SPENDING A SECOND TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHY THERE ARE CUTS ON HER WRISTS AND WHY SHE SPENDS HER LUNCHTIMES CRYING INSTEAD OR LAUGHING WITH HER FRIENDS? KEEP ON LAUGHING!
Isn't it funny you can say and do all this without any idea of what is going on in this persons life without knowing her situation with her friends or her family or her LIFE!
BRAVE ISN'T GOING UP ON STAGE AND STRIPPING!
BRAVE IS NOT SAYING A SPEECH OR DUMPING YOUR BOYFRIEND!
BRAVE IS GOING TO SCHOOL ON MULTI DAY AND NOT FOR A SECOND CARE WHAT THE WORLD AROUND YOU IS SAYING ABOUT YOUR CLOTHES. IT'S LISTENING TO YOUR OWN MUSIC AND BEING PROUD OF IT!
IT'S GOING THROUGH EVERY DAY WITH THE THINGS PEOPLE SAY TO YOUR FACE AND BEHIND YOUR BACK AND YOU STILL KEEP QUIET. ITS KNOWING WHAT YOUR "FRIENDS" ARE SAYING ABOUT YOU AND STILL CALLING THEM YOUR FRIENDS!
BRAVE IS KNOWING THAT TOMORROW ISN'T A BRIGHT AND HAPPY FUTURE, IT'S ANOTHER DAY OF COMPLAINING AND DODGING RUMORS! KEEP ON LAUGHING.
If you agree put this on your profile and advise others to do the same.
I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a cashier hand this little boy some money back.
The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.
The cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll."
Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''
The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''
Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly.
The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.
Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.
"It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."
I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her afterall, and not to worry.
But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there."
His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''
My heart nearly stopped.
The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall."
Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me. I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister."
Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.
I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''
"OK," he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.
The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!"
Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give it to my sister. He heard me!'' "I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.'' "My mommy loves white roses."
A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.
I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.
Then I remembered a local newspaper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.
The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy?
Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young woman had passed away.
I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.
She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.
I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.
Now you have 2 choices:
1) Repost this message.
2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart
I didn't write it but when I saw it on somebody elses profile it touched my heart, so I had to repost. I hope you can repost as well.
A local newspaper ran a competition asking for a poem with the most romantic first line, but the least romantic second line. Here are some of the entries they recieved:
Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss
But I only slept with you because I was pissed
I thought I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother
Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl is empty, and so is your head
I see your face when I am dreaming
That's why I always wake up screaming
My feelings for you no words can tell
Except for maybe "go to hell"
wasn't that awesome! I love that poem!
- The awkward moment when you can't read your own handwriting and you're like "WTF did I just write?"
- I hate when cashiers ask, "Is that everything?" Uh nope, I'd also like all this invisible shit.
- I hate when you’re typing something long, look up & notice that you weren’t typing anything at all.
- If I was stranded on a desert island & could only bring 1 thing, I would bring DORA. That bitch has everything in that backpack.
- After an argument, I always think of awesome things I could have said.
- Teacher: "WHY AM I HEARING TALKING!?" ... Because you have ears, Duh!
- I suddenly realised, "Your walking around naked under your clothes!" I will probably never look at you the same again.
- Once you hate someone everything they do is offensive.. "look at this bitch, eating those crackers like she owns the place. whore"
- Dear therapist, I might actually come see you if your job title didn't spell out "the rapist" Sincerely, not lying down
- FEAR= [F]uck [E]verything [A]nd [R]un
- 2011: Come at me, bro. 1800: Advance towards me, brethren.
- When you're hungry and your stomach makes that dying cow sound every 8 seconds.
- Math questions are so stupid.. They're all like 'If i have 30 chocolate bars and i eat 29, what do i have?" I don't know, diabetes maybe?
- Mom: "Clean your room, family is coming over."..."Oh I'm sorry, I didn't realize the gathering would be held in my bedroom.."
- "RAWR" Does NOT being "I love you" in dinosaur. Have you seen Jurassic Park?! Its more like "Bitch you better run! Ima have you for dinner!"
- Me:"I'm a wizard " Friend: "Prove it " Me: "Sorry, no magic outside Hogwarts "
- *11:11* I wish for... *11:12* Bitch i wasn't done!
- Running up the stairs in fear because you feel an evil presence behind you.
- Taking a multiple choice test...a,b,a,c,a,c,b ...*doesn't know the answer*..well I haven't used d in awhile...
- "Fucking" is one of those fucking words you can fucking put anyfuckingwhere in a sentence and it still makes fucking sense.
- "lmao, this movie isn't even scary!" ... *based on a true story* ... "oh shit."
- "Don't try this at home" Okay, I will try it at my friend's place...
-When my friend isn't in school: 5%: I hope she's okay :/ 95%: THAT WHORE HOW DARE YOU LEAVE ME ALONE!
- Dear teacher, would you mind not looking at my paper while I'm answering your test ? Sincerely, it feels awkward.
- I wish you could Google anything. Like, "Where is my phone?" and it would be like, "It's under the couch, dumbass."
- That awkward moment when you walk out of your bedroom in your pajamas and there's a guest in your house.
- Hey, what's up?" "Gas prices" "You know what I mean, like... What's crackin'?" "Nutshells" "Really? Fine... What's poppin?" "Corn
- Running beside your best friend and pushing them into something
- Student: Should I get in trouble for something I didn't do? Teacher: Of course not. Student: Okay good. Because I didn't do my homework
- Strangers: "Excuse me, please." Family: "Let me get through." Best friends: "Get the fuck out of my way, bitch!"
- ''YOU STUPID COMPUTER!'' * Starts working* ''I'm so sorry...I love you.''
- “Hey, did you get a haircut?” No, I dyed the tips invisible.
- *Ignores phone call* -Text them- “You called me?”
- Saying a word over and over again .. Until it doesn't even sound normal anymore
- *FIRE ALARM.* TEACHER: "Okay kids, single file, please ..." ME: "MOVE, BITCH! I'm about to die!"
30 reasons why girls are the best:
1. We got off the Titanic first.
2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.
3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.
4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.
6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.
7. Taxis stop for us.
8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.
9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).
11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.
12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.
13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.
14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.
15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.
16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.
18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.
19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.
21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.
22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.
23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.
25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.
26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
27. We'll never regret piercing our ears.
28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.
30. It took the vilest, most evil creature in the universe to convince Eve to eat the apple but it only took a woman to convince Adam.
When you were 5, your mom gave you a ice cream cone. You thank her by yelling at her that it's the wrong kind.
When you were 9, your mom drove you from swimming class to soccer and one birthday party to another. You thanked her by slamming the door and never looking back.
When you were 10, your mom paid for piano classes. You thanked her by never coming to class.
When you were 12, your mom was waiting for a very important call. You thanked her by talking on the phone all night.
When you were 14, your mom paid for a month away at summer camp. You thanked her by not bothering to write a single letter.
When you were 16, your mom taught you how to drive her car. You thanked her by taking it every chance you got.
When you were 17, your mom drove you to the mall and gave you her credit card. You thanked her by maxing it out.
When you were 18, your mom cried at your high school graduation. You thanked her by partying until dawn.
When you were 20, your mom drove you to collage. You thanked her by saying good-bye to her outside the drom so you wouldn't have to say bye in front of your friends.
When you were 26, your mom paid for your wedding. You thanked her by moving halfway across the world.
When you were 30, your mom fell ill and needed you to take care of her. You thanked her by reading about the burden parents became to children.
Then, one day, she quietly died and everything you did came crashing down on you.
If YOU love your mom, re-post this and if you don't, you won't care if your mom dies, will you?
“Her hair was up in a ponytail
One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school. His name was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his books. I thought to myself, 'Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd.' I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on.
As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him. He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes. My heart went out to him.
So, I jogged over to him as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye. As I handed him his glasses, I said, 'Those guys are jerks. They really should get lives.'
He looked at me and said, 'Hey thanks!'
There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude. I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before. He said he had gone to private school before now. I would have never hung out with a private school kid before.
We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play a little football with my friends. He said yes.We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him.
Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said, 'Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!' He just laughed and handed me half the books.
Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends. When we were seniors we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown and I was going to Duke.
I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor and I was going for business on a football scholarship. Kyle was valedictorian of our class. I teased him all the time about being a nerd. He had to prepare a speech for graduation. I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak.
Graduation day, I saw Kyle. He looked great. He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him. Boy, sometimes I was jealous!
Today was one of those days. I could see that he was nervous about his speech. So, I smacked him on the back and said, 'Hey, big guy, you'll be great!' He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled. 'Thanks,' he said.
As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began, 'Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach... but mostly your friends... I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story.' I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met. He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home.
He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile. 'Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable.' I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment.
I saw his Mom and Dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile. Not until that moment did I realize it's depth.
Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture you can change a person's life. For better or for worse. God puts us all in each others lives to impact one another in some way. Look for God in others.
You now have two choices, you can : 1) Put this on your profile or 2) Forget you read this and act like it didn't touch your heart. As you can see, I took choice number 1.
They told him it was right,
They told him he should fight.
And he believed the lies,
That his country benefits if he dies.
The battered man whispers as he raises his gun,
"May the Lord forgive what I shall do and have done."
He pulls the trigger with trembling fingers,
The sound of a shot pierces the air and lingers.
With prayer on his breath and gun in his hand,
The man collapses on the dry, barren land.
The soldiers around him don't notice or care,
As the smell of gunpowder lies thick in the air.
They continue to battle, continue to fight,
As their comrade goes quickly into eternal night.
For the horrors he's witnessed lie fresh in his mind,
He did monstrous things to his own kind.
Half way accross the world the man's wife cries,
As her husband stops fighting and quietly dies.
With one flick of a finger he ended his pain,
And took his own life rather than die in vain.
I wrote this in PSHE. Copy and paste it into your profile if you are against war.
In Honor of Stupid People
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed to stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:
On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap,"
On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
On packaging for a Rowena iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity.
Say the word 'cow' before each word:
Now say the word 'cow' after each word:
Now say the word 'cow' before and after each word:
Now read from the bottom up:
When a girl is quiet, a million things are running through her mind.
When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply.
When a girl looks at you with her eyes full of question, she is wondering how long you will be around.
When a girl answers "I'm fine." after a few seconds, she is not fine at all.
When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are lying.
When a girl rests her head on your chest, she is wishing for you to be her's forever.
When a girl wants to see you everyday, she wants to be pampered.
When a girl says "I love you." she means it.
When a girl says "I miss you." nobody could miss you more than that.
Life only comes around once, so make sure you spend it with the right person.
Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, and calls you back when you hang up on him.
The guy who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead,
Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.
The one who holds your hand in front of his friends and is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you there for him.
The one who turns to his friends and declares "That's her.".
If you read this, you have to repost it, guy or girl, or you will have bad luck for the rest of your life.
If you repost this, in five minutes your true love will call or message you.
Tonight at midnight, they will realize that they love you.
Something good will happen at approximately 1:42 pm tomorrow, and it could happen anywhere.
So get ready for the biggest shock of your life.
If you don't repost this, you will be cursed with relationship problems for all of eternity.
"I have a life, I just choose not to use it"
"You laugh at me because I'm crazy, I laugh at you because there's an invisible leprechaun on your shoulder"
"last night I was looking at the stars thinking...'Where the heck is my ceiling!'"
"Violence is always the answer, if it's not solving your problems you're simply not using enough of it"
"Labels are for cans. In case you haven't noticed, I'm not a can"
"Education is important, school however is another matter"
"We are not retreating... we are advancing in another direction"
"I'm right ninety-seven percent of the time, who cares about the other three percent?"
"Of course I'm outta' my mind, it's dark and scary in there!"
"Silence is gold, Duct tape is silver"
"I understand that scissors can beat paper, and I get that rock can beat scissors, but there's no way paper can beat rock. Is paper supposed to "magically wrap around rock leaving it immobile? If so why can't paper do that to scissors? Why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't there sheets of college ruled paper constantly suffocating students as they try to write notes? I'll tell you why. Paper can't beat anybody! A rock would tear that stuff up in TWO SECONDS!"
"Evening news is where they begin with "Good evening" and then proceed to tell you why it's not"
"ERROR! keyboard not found press any key to continue"
"You tickle me you run the risk of being injured"
"Don't knock on death's door, ring the doorbell and run. He hates that"
A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you"
If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.
Hate is just a special kind of love we give to people who suck.
I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away.
They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it every time I tell the truth, I get sent to my room?
Love your enemies. It gets them really confused.
I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing
Insanity is a gift. Some people turn it down and remain sane and live a routine lifestyle. Some people accept it graciously and do amazing and life-changing things. Others throw it in the street and continue screaming about the TV in their heads.
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.
Its always in the last place you look...of course it is, why the heck would you keep looking after I found it?
Boys are like trees, they take 50 years to grow up.
Friends will always be like "Well, you deserve better!" but best friends will prank call him saying "You will die in seven days!"
A friend will comfort you when he rejects you, but a best friend will go up to him and say "Its because your gay isn't it?"
When your are in jail a friend will bail you out, but a best friend will be sitting right next to you saying "dang that was fun!"
There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is filled.
Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.
One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.
Go ahead and call the cops! I'll order pizza and we'll see who gets here first!
There are three kinds of people: those who can count, and those who can't.
Life isn't passing me by, its trying to run me over.
Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.
People say "Guns don't kill people, People kill people!" Well, I think guns help. If you stood there and yelled Bang, I don't think you'd kill too many people.
Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.
I'm not crazy. My reality is just different then yours.
Trust me, I'm a ninja.
Pac-Man ghosts: the first stalkers.
I was about to take over the world, but I got distracted when I saw something shiny.
ADHD is Attention Deficit Hyper-ooh look! Butterfly!
364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from strangers, yet on Halloween, its encouraged! Why is that?
You're a speacial kind of stupid aren't you?
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
I was just kidding. There is no candy.
Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history.
Most people learn by observation, and there are the few who learn by experimentation. And then there are those who actually TOUCH the fire to see if it's really hot.
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
If it weren't for physics and law enforcement, I'd be unstoppable.
Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss.
Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
When I die, I want to go peacefully in my sleep like my Grandfather did, not screaming like the passengers in his car.
Hard work never killed anyone, but why take the chance?
WAKE UP IN THE MORNING FEELING. . .like going back to sleep.
ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE!. . . Oxygen helps too.
I'd take a bullet for you. Not in the head, like in the leg or something.
Worst. Idea. Ever. [pause] Let's do it.
I'm so good at sleep, I can do it with my eyes closed.
If a guy says you're "hot" he's looking at your body. If he says you're "pretty" he's looking at your face. If he says you're "beautiful" he's looking at your soul :)
Frozen computer. Maybe if I click EVERYWHERE it will work again.
I'm not easily distr. . .OMG! SHINY!
Anyone ever notice that studying is like putting student and dying together.
TEXTING FACEBOOK = TEXTBOOK See? I'm studying.
I'm not weird, I'm limited edition.
It takes skill to trip over a flat surface. I have that skill.
"I'm a ninja." "No you're not." "Did you see that?" "See what?" "Exactly."
Hi spider, nice spider, let me pet you with my shoe. . .good spider.
"You know you need a boyfriend when cartoon characters start looking amazingly hot." ( XD)
Im the type of girl who will burst out laughing in dead silence because of something that happened yesterday." (REALLY! THAT'S ME! O.O)
"Did you just..." "No." "But I just saw you..." "No."
panicking when ur finger gets stuck in something stupid
It's so fluffy I'm gonna die!! IT'S SO FLUFFAAAAAY!!"
Creating situations in your head that will NEVER happen in real life.
I stop the microwave with 1 second left to avoid the beeping noise.
uh huh .. uh huh..really..haha..(*not listening*) ohh WOW REALLY
computer freezes* ..click...click...CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK F%$#@$
"ready for the test?" "...dude what test."
look... loook... LOOK... LOOOOOOOKKKKK!! *friend looks* Forget it... you missed it
Okay, I will get out of the bed in 10 seconds. 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-9-9-9...
"GO TO YOUR ROOM!!!!!"... "You mean, where my laptop, iPod, and phone are? OK!"
"NO IPODS IN SCHOOL!" ... "Yeah cause Eminem is gonna rap me the answers"
The mini-heart-attack you get when you swing too far back on a chair.
"Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?"
"Only in America… Do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters."
"I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole more as they get older. Then it dawned on me… they were cramming for their finals."
"Don’t piss me off! I’m running outta places to hide the bodies!"
When life gives you lemons, throw them at hobos.
When life gives you lemons, go find a kid with a papercut and make his life miserable.
When life gives you lemons, throw them back and demand Coke!
Unless life gives you water and sugar with those lemons, your lemonade's gonna stink.
When life gives you lemons, make orange juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.
When life gives you lemons, squirt lemon juice in some ones eyes.
When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. When life gives me lemons, I squirt lemon juice in life’s eyes.
When life gives you lemons you make grape juice , then sit back and let the world wonder how in the seven hells you did it.
Where does life get all these lemons?
When life gives you lemons, give life its stinkin' lemons back! I don't need life's help! I can do all sorts of things without life's help! 'Cause I'm awesome like that!
Insanity is just the aspect of life when you don't give a damn
I'm not insane, I just find blood to be funny.
One person's craziness is another person's reality.
Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music.
Insanity is knowing that what you're doing is completely wrong, but still, somehow you can't stop it.
Be yourself is sometimes the worst advice you can give someone
You're just jealous because the voices talk to me and not you!
Strength is nothing more than how well you hide the pain.
With great power . . . comes great need to take a nap.
Never say goodbye, because saying goodbye means going away, and going away means forgetting
There will always be one song that reminds you of the memories in the past you had with someone.
The hardest thing in life is to decide which bridge to cross and which bridge to burn.
Everything's a good idea at 2 am.
One day, I wondered why the frisbee was getting bigger, Then it hit me
Diamonds are a girls best friend...because they're shaper then knives
Boys are like lava lamps fun to look at, but they don't really do much.
Boys are like slinkeys. Useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.
Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up.
It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.
One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.
I'm not afraid of Death, what's it gonna do kill me?
if you talk about me i got some advice. click your heels 3 times and say 'i wish i had a life'!
"The greener grass on the other side is probably just artificial turf."
"Nobody move! I dropped my brain."
"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."
"He who laughs last didn't get it."
Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?
Hello. You have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are, where you are from, and what you want so there is no need to leave a message.
If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either.
Don't follow in my footsteps . . . I run into walls.
Ideas don't stay in some minds very long because they don't like solitary confinement.
Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.
I stopped fighting my inner demons... We're on the same side now!
SHUT UP VOICES!! or I'll poke you with the Q-tip again...
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.'
Wanna know how to keep an idiot busy? Take him into a round room and tell him to sit in a corner.
In a world of cheerios, be a frootloop!
Earth first. We'll screw up the other planets later.
God must love stupid people...he made so many
There is no great genius without a mixture of madness
When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.
You, you, and you panic. The rest of you follow me.
Lately the only thing keeping me from becoming a serial killer is my dislike for manual labor.
PMS: Every woman's legal right to be a bitch.
If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance, baffle 'em with nonsense
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
I'm mature and you're not. Nah nah nah nah nah nah!
Eat healthy. Work right. Die anyway.
I have a dream and in it, something eats you.
Its sad your own mom dresses you like that.
Everyone is beautiful on the inside. If you think bones and guts are beautiful.
Its always funny until someone gets hurt. Then its hysterical
My imaginary friend thinks you have serious problems
If aliens are looking for intelligent life, why the hell are you scared?!
Looking for a perfect girl? Go buy yourself a barbie doll.
If idiots could fly this place would be an airport.
I know KUNG-FU and 42 other dangerous words
Me and the gummy bears have a plot to rule the world but shhh its a secret!
Quick, whats the number for 9-1-1?
You should always proofread what you write in case you any words.
I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and crap out a better conversation than you.
I ran into my ex today. Then I put it in reverse and hit him again.
By the time you finished reading this you'll realize you just wasted 5 seconds of your life
I burst laughing out in class today...I got that joke you told yesterday
Hi! I'm human. What're you?
Have you considered suing your brain for non-support?
I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass!
Everyone has a right to be ugly, but you're abusing that privilege.
If we were to kill everyone who thought you were stupid, it wouldn't be murder; it would be genocide!
I'd like to leave you with one thought...but I'm not sure you have anywhere to put it!
Wherever there is life there is love
I may not be perfect but at least I'm confident
Sometimes all we need are each other
Life is like a circle. No wonder I'm so dizzy.
Yeah I'm a loser, but I'm the coolest loser you'll ever meet
A friend would call you a retard but a best friend would call you one and act like one with you.
Boy break hearts so why don't we break their necks?
One night, I looked up into the sky. I began counting the reasons why I love you. I was doing great until I ran out of stars.
When they laugh, we'll laugh along too. Because we know better. We know.
If I promise not to kill you... can I have a hug?
Some people are like slinkies... they're really good for nothing! But they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs!
I don't have a short attention span, I just... Oh look a kitty!
I love this RETARD I call my BEST FRIEND!!
I didn't hit you... I simply high-fived your face!
Exactly how much fun can I have before I go to hell?
If I had half a mind..I would still be smarter than you!!
Come to the dark side. We have cookies.
In order to lose your mind, you have to have one in the first place.
I've learned from my mistakes, and I'm sure I could repeat them exactly
The only reason that I talk to myself is because that I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
If you die I'll find a way to bring you back and kill you myself!
Normal people worry me
Those who think they know everything, annoy those of us that do
Don't regret doing things, regret getting caught
Everyone in life has a purpose, even if its to serve as a BAD EXAMPLE
I reject your reality and substitute it with my own -Adam, MythBusters
The early bird my get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
It's mind over matter I don't mind ‘cause you don't matter
I went insane and all I got was this stupid jacket
Curiosity killed the cat, but fulfillment brought it back
I didn't create sin, I've just perfected it.
Join the Dark side, We've got Cookies! -
I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
If talking to your self is the first sign of insanity, what’s sign two?
I only love two people and your not one of them
Heaven doesn’t want me, and Hell’s afraid I’ll take over.
Show me a sane man and I’ll cure him for you.
Everyone has the right to be stupid, but YOU are abusing the privlige.
I know a thousand ways to always say the wrong thing.
They say the truth will set you free, then, how come every time I say the truth I get sent to my room?
I’m already imagining duck tape over your mouth.
Until I was 13 I thought my name was shut up.
Interesting and insane laws:
Detonating a nuclear device within the city limits results in a 500 dollar fine. (Hmm... I'm not that sure all of the suicide terrorists will be scared off by that.)
It is illegal for horses to eat fire hydrants. (What... the...)
It is illegal to allow a dog to be in a public place without its master on a leash.
It is illegal to allow a pet cat to run loose without a taillight.
It is illegal to carry a lunch down the street between 11 and 1 o'clock.
It is illegal to drive a motor vehicle on city streets unless a man with a lantern is walking ahead of it.
It is illegal to eat in a place that is on fire. (Who would want to eat there?)
It is illegal to purchase an alcoholic beverage after midnight on Sunday, yet one may do so on Monday.
It is illegal to purchase or use Sparklers in the city, yet you can buy fully disassembled automatic machine guns.
It is illegal to ride a bicycle in a swimming pool.
It is illegal to shoot at any kind of game from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale.
I promise to think of Quil when I hear a guy jokin'.
I promise to think of Embry when I see a boy blush.
I promise to think of Seth when I get a sugar rush.
I promise to think of Paul when I see a boy slapped.
I promise to think of Sam when I see someone holding a friend back.
I promise to think of Jacob when I think I've lost my head.
I promise to think of Jared when I see someone lose a bet.
I promise to think of Rachel when I see a, girl, twin.
I promise to think of Nessie when I see a girl whose different.
I promise to think of Emily when I see a girl precious like a dove.
I promise to think of Kim when I see a girl in love.
I promise to think of Claire when I see a girl so small.
I swear, I promise, to think of them all...
This is a promise to stay with my pack...
To run with the wolves and never look back.n he is asleep.
IMPORTANT- Teenage girls who are NOT in love with Edward Cullen/ Robert Pattison are fast becoming an endangered species. If you are part of this endangered species, copy and paste this in your profile. Quick, we need sponsοrs! :D:D:D:D:D
I AM A CHRISTIAN AND I'M PROUD OF IT!!!
When you carry a Bible, the devil gets a headache
I just defeated him. Like, Copy, &
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
Opening Credits: About the south -Rodney Atkins
Waking Up: Funhouse - P!nk
First Day of School: Heartbreak down - P!nk
Falling In Love: Whataya want from me - Adam Lambert
Fight Song: Wild one - Faith Hill
Breaking Up: Redneck woman - Gretchen Wilson
Prom: Good old days - P!nk
Life Is Just...Okay: Country boy can survive - Hank Williams Jr.
Mental Breakdown: Simple man - Lynyrd Skynyrd
Driving: Before he cheats - Carrie Underwood
Flashback: So what - P!nk
Getting Back Together: Kiss my country ass - Blake Shelton
Birth Of Child: He's mine - Rodney Atkins
Wedding: Cuz I can - P!nk
Final Battle: Stronger - Kelly Clarkson
Death Scene: Please don't leave me -P!nk
Funeral Song: She'd rather fight - Rodney Atkins
End Credits: My old man -Rodney Atkins
Wow.. Some are actually fitting! ;)
Her name was Angel,
A dog is always loyal to their owners, but no one understands that. Humans treat dogs like slaves, like they deserved to be. But we are wrong, dogs are always loyal, even to the last drop of blood, they wont stop fighting for us. They guard us, they loved us, and they cared for us. But in the end, their loyalty is taken as trash. Thrown away and forgotten by all
Unsafe External Link