Saltwater
hide bio
PM . Follow . Favorite
Joined 11-03-03, id: 480783, Profile Updated: 02-13-10
Author has written 12 stories for Harry Potter, and Lord of the Rings.

Hello all and welcome to (one of my many) internet abodes! I’m your average, everyday, (allegedly) female humanoid being, with nothing to do but get a Higher Education – and I refuse to willingly participate in THAT. So I tend to come here instead. Born in Australia with a full set of extremely Greek, extremely Woggy parents, I've been a member of this site for like, omg, nearly SEVEN YEARS now, and have managed to pop out a few stories so far (most of which are undeniably crap). If you’re going to have a gander at anything I’ve written, I warn you to please try and keep yourself to the top of the list. Yes my old stuff is absolutely shocking, but i've developed somewhat of an emotional attachment to them and won't be takin' nuffin' down, thankyouverymuch. And you have to admit, for a barely pubescent child, that first story of mine wasn't half bad - it was fully bad. Ba-bing! Well, anyway, at least i never honestly wrote a Mary Sue. (Ignoring the Garry-Potter i accidentally nudged into the cyber-world, of course.)

On a Lord of the Rings note, I love Hobbits.

"You'll live to regret it, young fellow! You don't belong here; you're no Baggins - you - you're a Brandybuck!"
"Did you hear that, Merry? That was an insult, if you like," said Frodo as he shut the door on her.
"It was a compliment," said Merry Brandybuck, "and so, of course, not true."

- The Fellowship of the Ring: A Long-Expected Party

On a Harry Potter note, you may want to know that I despise Ginny Weasley. I mean, I like her just fine on her own I guess, but she needs to mysteriously disappear before Harry realises she has boobs and his evil green tummy-monster comes to life. My take on Rowling's attempt at their romance is as follows;

One day Ginny fell in love with some knobbly little kid with a really good complexion who just happened to be freaking famous. For four years she sat quietly in the corner and admired his scar, until one day BAYUM! She slutted up and Harry finally noticed her. After suddenly gaining a rather outspoken personality and dating her way through the male population of Hogwarts, she sidled up to our hero and winked. "Oh Harry," she breathed. "Won't you look at my luscious, red hair? Doesn't it just make you think of Ron? Or perhaps your mother? I am now an admirable and strong character. Why dont we go into a cupboard where you can feel me up." And so they did. Nineteen years later, they had some babies.

Fin.

On a General note, I do not write disclaimers for my stories. Unless I borrow something directly from it's source, I expect that my readers are intelligent enough to realise that they are on a fancfiction site and are therefore reading fiction from the fans of some original work or another - a suspicion which should also be helped along by the fact that said story being read has undoubtedly been searched for, and found, under the specific category of an actual, already published fiction. Now normally i'm not so anti-disclaimer, but considering the nature of this particular site, i think its pretty damn redundant and you cant make me do it so nyeah. Also, I should probably warn everyone right now that I’m a perfectionist, a procrastinator, and currently enrolled in a full time course at uni. Nothing, and I mean nothing I write will have consistently posted chapters. In fact, you’ll all be luck if I even finish anything within a few years. Just thought I'd give you the heads up.

And that's about it!

Please enjoy anything I have to offer that takes your fancy, and allow me to recommend to you my newest project;

Mostly Harmless: So a girl falls into Middle Earth and joins the fellowship... You know you want to read it. Yeah you do. Yeeeeaaah you do. Go on, don't be shy! You'll totally love it, i know you always do. You LOOK for excuses to read this kind of thing on a regular basis, there's no need to hide your shame here.

(P.S - I did something sneaky with my homepage link. -giggles-)

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Tell Me The Reason Why by SensiblyTainted reviews
Harry is rescued at eight from his abusive uncle by five teen soldiers who've just won their own war. Under their tutelage, Harry comes to Hogwarts with skills the Wizarding world doesn't expect and brothers who won't let Harry go without a fight.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Gundam Wing/AC - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 40 - Words: 300,641 - Reviews: 2230 - Favs: 1,852 - Follows: 2,112 - Updated: 5/26 - Published: 9/16/2010 - Harry P.
Broken Mind, Fractured Soul by SensiblyTainted reviews
What if there was a darker truth hidden in Harry's story? Summer before third year, Harry begins to question his memory blanks. What happens when he finds himself before Snape for help? includes mentor Severus, MPD, child abuse, protective Remus
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 54 - Words: 398,153 - Reviews: 3790 - Favs: 3,764 - Follows: 1,148 - Updated: 5/11 - Published: 8/11/2005 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality by Less Wrong reviews
Petunia married a biochemist, and Harry grew up reading science and science fiction. Then came the Hogwarts letter, and a world of intriguing new possibilities to exploit. And new friends, like Hermione Granger, and Professor McGonagall, and Professor Quirrell... COMPLETE.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 122 - Words: 661,619 - Reviews: 30085 - Favs: 16,327 - Follows: 14,434 - Updated: 3/14 - Published: 2/28/2010 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
Kaze no Uta by Against.The.Current reviews
Femininity is not weakness. Courage does not exist without fear. Hope is lost the moment you stop fighting. A grittier take on the 'girl falls into another world' trope.
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 20,250 - Reviews: 232 - Favs: 597 - Follows: 708 - Updated: 10/23/2014 - Published: 1/16/2014
Magical Relations by evansentranced reviews
AU First Year onward: Harry's relatives were shocked when the Hogwarts letters came. Not because Harry got into Hogwarts. They had expected that. But Dudley, on the other hand...That had been a surprise. Currently in 5th year. *Reviews contain SPOILERS!*
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 69 - Words: 260,704 - Reviews: 4932 - Favs: 5,071 - Follows: 6,354 - Updated: 10/19/2014 - Published: 3/18/2007 - Harry P., Dudley D.
Hurricane Jane: Plain Jane Two by Larry1710 reviews
After the events of Plain Jane in Thirteen Chapters, Jane is mad. She wants back into Middle Earth and has worked out a way to trick Fanfiction into putting her back there. There are many questions facing her though. Will she survive the trip back to Middle Earth? Will she end up somewhere safe? And where is that lump of a man known as Boromir? They have unfinished business.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 656 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 68 - Published: 9/8/2014 - Boromir
On the Way to Greatness by mira mirth reviews
As per the Hat's decision, Harry gets Sorted into Slytherin upon his arrival in Hogwarts—and suddenly, the future isn't what it used to be.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 20 - Words: 232,797 - Reviews: 3216 - Favs: 7,677 - Follows: 8,837 - Updated: 9/4/2014 - Published: 12/26/2008 - Harry P.
Forging the Sword by Myst Shadow reviews
::Year 2 Divergence:: What does it take, to reshape a child? And if reshaped, what then is formed? Down in the Chamber, a choice is made. (Harry's Gryffindor traits were always so much scarier than other peoples'.)
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 15 - Words: 152,578 - Reviews: 2846 - Favs: 6,332 - Follows: 7,822 - Updated: 8/19/2014 - Published: 5/26/2007 - Harry P., Ron W., Hermione G.
Highlight by Araloth the Random reviews
"First, Legolas was an Elf. Second, there was a part of him, and I didn't know how dominant that part might be, which wanted to kill me. Third, I was unconditionally, irrevocably, iridescently and vacillatingly obsessed with long words..." A very Twilight-esque parody featuring Elves in the 21st century, teenage angst and instant pasta.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 16,892 - Reviews: 118 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 46 - Updated: 5/14/2014 - Published: 7/28/2010 - Legolas
Plain Jane In Thirteen Chapters by Larry1710 reviews
Fanfiction versus Jane Thomas. Fanfiction dumped Jane in Middle Earth, lumbering her with sweaty Boromir, but then withdrew her just when she was beginning to get emotionally attached. Epilogue up - Will we see the Return of Jane?
Lord of the Rings - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 61,433 - Reviews: 295 - Favs: 267 - Follows: 271 - Updated: 11/2/2013 - Published: 4/18/2008 - Boromir - Complete
The Scoop on the Rings by F Le Rulz reviews
A young reporter gets lost while trying to locate a crime scene, and finds herself interfering with an orc attack. How will she cope with suddenly being in a medieval world that's facing an oncoming apocalypse, and how will she land her front page story?
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 10 - Words: 49,963 - Reviews: 77 - Favs: 66 - Follows: 75 - Updated: 9/2/2013 - Published: 3/18/2012 - Boromir
Pet Project by Caeria reviews
Hermione overhears something she shouldn't concerning Professor Snape and decides that maybe the House-elves aren't the only ones in need of protection.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 52 - Words: 338,844 - Reviews: 11253 - Favs: 8,272 - Follows: 6,389 - Updated: 6/9/2013 - Published: 3/3/2005 - Hermione G., Severus S. - Complete
Brendan and the Beast by Kodora reviews
An epic re-imagining of a classic fairy tale. A castle of forgotten souls...a Beast trapped in bitter purgatory...and an unexpected romance borne of one pivotal rose. COMPLETE as of May 4th 2012
Fairy Tales - Rated: M - English - Fantasy/Romance - Chapters: 25 - Words: 120,178 - Reviews: 491 - Favs: 444 - Follows: 201 - Updated: 5/3/2012 - Published: 10/1/2001 - Complete
Swept Away by CocoBeans reviews
Same ploy: Girl dropped into ME, meets Legolas, blah, blah, blah, but one problem: she's in the first hundred years of the Third Age. But will she be stuck in her Pj's forever? Will the Dwarves come kill her? And will Haldir go insane because of her?
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 20 - Words: 33,075 - Reviews: 330 - Favs: 102 - Follows: 54 - Updated: 4/29/2012 - Published: 11/12/2002 - Haldir, Legolas
Padfoot Prohibited by Ever-Changing Anthem reviews
*Currently being re-vamped!* The Seventh-Years are given an assignment before they leave school – an essay instructing incoming First Years on how to succeed at Hogwarts. Sirius Black jumps at the chance to leave his detention-ridden legacy behind.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 33,830 - Reviews: 812 - Favs: 782 - Follows: 139 - Updated: 6/5/2011 - Published: 4/19/2004 - Sirius B., James P. - Complete
Something Grim This Way Comes by Ruskbyte reviews
Harry is about to start his first year at Hogwarts. With him comes his cynical, somewhat unofficial, not to mention bent on world domination girlfriend Mandy. And they're also bringing their mutual best friend i.e.: indentured servant the Grim Reaper.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 68,629 - Reviews: 922 - Favs: 2,963 - Follows: 1,973 - Updated: 1/1/2011 - Published: 11/18/2005 - Harry P., Mandy
Monty Python's 'Two Towers' by Morthoron reviews
Appalling sequel to Monty Python's 'Fellowship of the Ring', disgusting successor to Monty Python's 'The Hobbit', and nearly as famous as Monty Python's 'Not Appearing as a Fan-Fiction Story'. Winner of the coveted 'Necrotic Albatross' Lesion of Honor.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 23,003 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 8/3/2010 - Published: 12/26/2009 - Frodo B., Samwise G.
Scorpius Malfoy and the Improbable Plot by opalish reviews
Scorpius really should have listened to his father's numerous and dire warnings about the Potter clan. Harry feels his pain. Gen crackfic WIP, yo. Seriously, so cracky.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 19 - Words: 47,805 - Reviews: 1274 - Favs: 1,477 - Follows: 1,187 - Updated: 10/31/2009 - Published: 6/29/2008 - Scorpius M., Harry P.
Monty Python's 'The Hobbit' by Morthoron reviews
A perfectly punctuated Python parody of JRR Tolkien's beloved The Hobbit. Join Bilbo Baggins' quest to free Erebor from Smaug the dragon before a lethal strain of comedy kills him. 3RD PLACE, 2009 MEFA AWARDS, with the top two spots left purposely blank.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 28 - Words: 50,214 - Reviews: 85 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 7/4/2009 - Published: 12/21/2008 - Bilbo B., Gandalf - Complete
First Time by Lady Bluejay reviews
Will Elladan and Elrohir decide to help out a lady? A very short story. Complete.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,031 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 18 - Updated: 6/28/2009 - Published: 1/8/2009 - Elrohir, Eomer - Complete
Lunatix by Rainey Dae reviews
Luna and Bellatrix one-shot. They have a little revelation together in Malfoy manor, DH. Two of the craziest characters in the series, is it any surprise what you get when you put them together?
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 458 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 7 - Published: 6/3/2009 - Luna L., Bellatrix L. - Complete
The Sorting Hat Song by Rainey Dae reviews
The hat's seen and done some nasty stuff. Ruined some lives, altered the future of the wizarding world, and come two words away from putting Harry into Slytherin. Then Tom lit it on fire... it never did work quite right afer that. Bit of language.HatPoem.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 164 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 2 - Published: 5/21/2009 - Complete
Rivalry by Medea Smyke reviews
Some ballroom nonsense in which Erchirion gets mad, Amrothos explains, and Lothiriel shows a penchant for blonds. One-shot.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,212 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 3 - Published: 2/19/2009 - Eomer, Lothíriel - Complete
On the Wings of the Storm by Lialathuveril reviews
The year before the Ring War, Princess Lothiriel of Dol Amroth is sent to Rohan by her father to seek shelter from the storm brewing in Mordor. There she meets Éomer, Third Marshal of the Riddermark. Unfortunately they do not hit it off...at first
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 31 - Words: 128,080 - Reviews: 1233 - Favs: 765 - Follows: 238 - Updated: 2/16/2009 - Published: 3/11/2008 - Lothíriel, Eomer - Complete
Masks and Shadows by Kilerkki reviews
On the surface, it's a routine bodyguard mission at an entirely unusual School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. But underneath the underneath, demons are lurking...[HPNaruto crossover, cowritten with link no miko]
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 10 - Words: 59,160 - Reviews: 855 - Favs: 1,008 - Follows: 1,213 - Updated: 1/6/2009 - Published: 6/8/2005 - Naruto U., Shikamaru N.
Maggoty Bread by Thundera Tiger reviews
A somewhat ridiculous movie-verse tale explaining why the Uruk-hai took maggoty bread with them when they set off after the Fellowship.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,066 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 31 - Published: 8/23/2008 - Saruman, Orc - Complete
Fathers of the Year by opalish reviews
Harry and Draco find ways to keep the hate alive. Albus Severus and Scorpius approve. NextGen oneshot crackfic ahoy!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 531 - Reviews: 259 - Favs: 863 - Follows: 74 - Published: 7/2/2008 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
Fire Demon by Minnionette reviews
AU-Born a fire demon, Harry's raging firestorm destroys Voldemort. A dysfunctional and curious crow demon from another dimension pops up to investigate, and is given Harry to raise and train in his new powers. In retrospect, it seemed like a good idea.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 91,348 - Reviews: 251 - Favs: 256 - Follows: 252 - Updated: 6/19/2008 - Published: 5/21/2003 - Harry P.
The Great Hogwarts Portrait Rebellion by Shiv5468 reviews
Ten years after the fall of Voldemort the Minister decides to commission a portrait of the Order of the Phoenix. It isn't the best idea he's ever had.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 10,565 - Reviews: 266 - Favs: 250 - Follows: 373 - Updated: 6/9/2008 - Published: 11/21/2005 - Hermione G., Severus S.
Malignant Objects by Charlie -dashdot- Blue reviews
Left in an orphanage, Harry Potter, twin to the alleged BoyWhoLived, was taken into an underground world of debauchery, hedonism and beauty. Meanwhile, the Dark Lord has risen, and the wizarding world lives in darkness, politics & powergames. HP/LV
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 11 - Words: 71,427 - Reviews: 1119 - Favs: 1,063 - Follows: 1,242 - Updated: 5/10/2008 - Published: 2/25/2006 - Harry P., Voldemort
A Black Comedy by nonjon reviews
COMPLETE. Two years after defeating Voldemort, Harry falls into an alternate dimension with his godfather. Together, they embark on a new life filled with drunken debauchery, thievery, and generally antagonizing all their old family, friends, and enemies.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 31 - Words: 246,320 - Reviews: 5345 - Favs: 9,741 - Follows: 2,925 - Updated: 4/7/2008 - Published: 2/18/2007 - Complete
A Place of Hiding by Carryon14 reviews
He was too busy to be bothered, and she too used to the hiding, until news came from the East. Eomer and Lothiriel, and their most unlikely honeymoon. [Discontinued, sorry!]
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 22,089 - Reviews: 82 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 59 - Updated: 3/21/2008 - Published: 8/5/2007 - Eomer, Lothíriel - Complete
Almost a Squib by BajaB reviews
What if Vernon and Petunia were even more successfull in 'beating all that nonsense' out of Harry? A silly AU story of a nonpowerful, but cunning, Harry.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 7 - Words: 46,899 - Reviews: 969 - Favs: 2,932 - Follows: 619 - Updated: 1/18/2008 - Published: 11/11/2007 - Harry P. - Complete
Waterloo by Lady Bluejay reviews
No one who had endured the Siege of Minas Tirith or lived through the Battle of the Pelennor Fields emerged unscathed. Either in mind or body, all were affected in some way. Lothíriel only played a small part but her experiences changed her life. Complete
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 12,890 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 102 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 1/7/2008 - Published: 1/5/2008 - Lothíriel, Eomer - Complete
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Nurmengard by Eggo Waffles reviews
Harry thought the conversation was getting needlessly tangential, and decided that the quickest way to remedy this was by speaking in capital letters. BUT WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH GRINDELWALD?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,645 - Reviews: 140 - Favs: 242 - Follows: 12 - Published: 10/22/2007 - Albus D., Hermione G. - Complete
We, In Faith by Elagabalus reviews
[AU] The world believes that Harry Potter died sixteen years ago while his parents survived. But with the Triwizard Tournament finally starting, why has this boy that looks so much like the Potters appeared? ON HIATUS
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 16 - Words: 116,244 - Reviews: 840 - Favs: 1,186 - Follows: 1,189 - Updated: 8/19/2007 - Published: 5/13/2005 - Harry P.
First Meetings by Willow-41z reviews
A series of stories depicting different ways in which Éomer and Lothíriel may have encountered each other for the first time.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 19,135 - Reviews: 89 - Favs: 99 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 8/8/2007 - Published: 7/24/2007 - Eomer, Lothíriel - Complete
I Blame Iendil Ancawen Entirely by crazyroninchic reviews
A Mary Sue is dropped into MiddleEarth with every intent to wreck havoc. Join one normal, canon abiding girl in her quest to stop the Sue. Poor Legolas...poor Frodo...poor Fellowship!
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 20 - Words: 24,030 - Reviews: 557 - Favs: 279 - Follows: 69 - Updated: 7/15/2007 - Published: 1/27/2007 - Complete
Lothiriel's Journal by Lady Bluejay reviews
A lighthearted look at how Lothíriel and Éomer could have met. Complete.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 42,149 - Reviews: 107 - Favs: 85 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 7/13/2007 - Published: 5/18/2007 - Eomer, Lothíriel - Complete
Reconciliation by Willow-41z reviews
Lady Lothiriel of Dol Amroth and Rohan struggles to adjust to her new life as queen and wife.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 24 - Words: 81,250 - Reviews: 281 - Favs: 159 - Follows: 57 - Updated: 5/28/2007 - Published: 3/27/2006 - Eomer, Lothíriel - Complete
Hobo Potter by Marz1 reviews
The good news: I think I've managed to ditch Lestrange. The bad news: I still haven't figured out how to beg for spare change in Bulgarian.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 5 - Words: 11,954 - Reviews: 283 - Favs: 271 - Follows: 350 - Updated: 4/23/2007 - Published: 3/27/2006 - Harry P.
Should've Thought of That One, Bori by Eggo Waffles reviews
We all wish that Boromir had survived Amon Hen, but have we ever considered the implications? Parody AU
Lord of the Rings - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 14 - Words: 41,546 - Reviews: 443 - Favs: 214 - Follows: 119 - Updated: 1/26/2007 - Published: 5/3/2005 - Boromir
Tabby Cat by Pasi reviews
Cats have their territories. Privet Drive, in Little Whinging, Surrey, is claimed by a stray tabby cat with spectacle markings around her eyes.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,698 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 111 - Follows: 15 - Published: 1/9/2007 - Minerva M., Harry P. - Complete
So Sue Me by lunakatrina reviews
My take on Harry's first year starting with him getting his letters. Add a lot of sarcasm, stir, and serve cold.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 17 - Words: 44,383 - Reviews: 2199 - Favs: 3,528 - Follows: 3,059 - Updated: 1/5/2007 - Published: 6/23/2006 - Harry P.
Honestly, Headmaster by Meteoricshipyards reviews
Harry has to explain what happened last night to Headmaster Dumbledore.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,843 - Reviews: 345 - Favs: 1,829 - Follows: 266 - Published: 10/9/2006 - Complete
Tread Softly by Dius Corvus reviews
“I am Jonathan Frost. I was Voldemort and Tom Riddle. I was also Harry Potter.” After the final confrontation with Voldemort, Harry finds himself changed and thrown back into the time of the Marauders and Severus Snape. SSHP COMPLETE
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 21 - Words: 182,436 - Reviews: 1415 - Favs: 2,091 - Follows: 515 - Updated: 7/31/2006 - Published: 5/3/2004 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
A Silly Veela Story by Soleara reviews
Well, it's not exactly your classic veela story, I can tell you that! Full summary inside, pairing is HarryDraco, with Draco as the veela and Harry as mate.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,227 - Reviews: 82 - Favs: 181 - Follows: 39 - Published: 6/4/2006 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
The Gospel According To Tolkien by Abigail the Jedi reviews
And yea, the Lord Tolkien, father of all that is good in the world, proclaimed unto the masses...
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,193 - Reviews: 132 - Favs: 119 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 5/6/2006 - Published: 10/4/2004
Checkmate by Naadi reviews
HxD slash. Draco has a plan to get Harry Potter, and challenges him to a game of Dare Chess. But is it love, or betrayal, he has in mind? A real game of chess is played throughout the story. A seventh year story based on canon through Goblet of Fire.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 19 - Words: 259,337 - Reviews: 2301 - Favs: 3,147 - Follows: 563 - Updated: 5/1/2006 - Published: 5/26/2002 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
A Good Idea by Evergreene reviews
In the city of Minas Tirith, Legolas commits a most grievious betrayal. Second place winner in Teitho Contest 'First Sentence.'
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,329 - Reviews: 67 - Favs: 180 - Follows: 13 - Published: 4/12/2006 - Aragorn, Legolas - Complete
Mary Sue's Finest Hour by Kaia Sylvan reviews
Sick to tears of the typical fan fiction? Of Mary-Sue and her disgustingly cliche perfection? Tempted to drown her in a pool of overused adjectives used to describe her hair? Look no further.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 6 - Words: 6,826 - Reviews: 197 - Favs: 94 - Follows: 48 - Updated: 2/28/2006 - Published: 6/10/2002
Theme and Variations by Gandalfs apprentice reviews
Tolkien meets Jane Austen. Marriage is on everyone's mind in Minas Tirith after the war. Told from Faramir's point of view as he adjusts to his new life and gets to know the king. WINNER FIRST PLACE HUMOR GONDOR MEFA 2006.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,919 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 61 - Follows: 5 - Published: 12/1/2005 - Aragorn, Faramir - Complete
Harry Potter's Guide to the Dark Arts by opalish reviews
Harry Potter has once again showcased his pathological need for attention by writing and publishing a completely uninformative pamphlet on the Dark Arts. Utterly useless rubbish. – The Daily Prophet
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,655 - Reviews: 393 - Favs: 1,319 - Follows: 167 - Published: 11/30/2005 - Harry P. - Complete
Hewing Naught but Wood by Thundera Tiger reviews
During the Battle of Helm's Deep, Gimli makes a statement that seems to be in conflict with previous events. Now, he's given a chance to explain himself. Featuring the Three Hunters at their pedantic best plus a pragmatic Eomer.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,627 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 85 - Follows: 6 - Published: 9/26/2005 - Eomer, Gimli, Legolas, Aragorn - Complete
So You Want to Write a Tolkien Fanfic? by SickleYield reviews
Humorous guide to writing like a neurotic misogynist Englishman. Not that I think all Englishmen are neurotic misogynists. I freely admit that all the neurotic misogynists I know are American. Complete with one or two expansions.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 5 - Words: 4,331 - Reviews: 80 - Favs: 109 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 9/15/2005 - Published: 9/13/2005 - Complete
Step to the Left by Rhys reviews
Elrond dances with his daughter one last time.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 191 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 14 - Published: 8/22/2005 - Elrond, Arwen U. - Complete
Windows to the Soul by DaydreamingTurtle reviews
A blind girl named Abbey is taken to Suburbia after her guardians die. She feels different and alone, so she goes out on her own to find someone who feels that way, too. Please R&R!
Edward Scissorhands - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,573 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 10 - Published: 8/9/2005
For the Good of Gondor by Irena reviews
AU, set after the War of the Ring. An update two years in the making....
Lord of the Rings - Rated: M - English - Angst/Supernatural - Chapters: 20 - Words: 120,841 - Reviews: 565 - Favs: 159 - Follows: 55 - Updated: 7/9/2005 - Published: 3/23/2002
Have You Got Any Stamps, Legolas? by Eggo Waffles reviews
If there had been a way for Boromir and Faramir to keep up correspondence during the Quest, it might have sounded somewhat like this. A more humorous outlook on some of the darker aspects of the War of the Ring.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 6 - Words: 8,637 - Reviews: 294 - Favs: 241 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 4/30/2005 - Published: 1/24/2005 - Boromir, Faramir - Complete
Just for Tomorrow by Jo Slater reviews
Haldir, March Warden of Lothlorien, hides away his unwanted wife and children in a human village north of Lorien.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 26 - Words: 125,954 - Reviews: 657 - Favs: 264 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 1/19/2005 - Published: 5/29/2004 - Haldir - Complete
A Mary Sue Alphabet by Irony-chan reviews
A's for Amanda Our hero's twin sister Got lost as a baby and Gosh, how he missed her...
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,497 - Reviews: 2641 - Favs: 6,283 - Follows: 401 - Published: 1/12/2005 - Complete
Promises to Keep by Leaward reviews
A Ranger of the North patrols the Bree area in the fall of 3018 while attempting to attract the attention of a Bree girl. An original character story, with cameos by Aragorn, Halbarad and the Sons of Elrond, Elladan and Elrohir. Story is complete.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Romance/Mystery - Chapters: 15 - Words: 51,263 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 12/22/2004 - Published: 11/17/2004 - Complete
While they walked by Unhobbity Hobbit reviews
During those days of non-stop walking, the fellowship must have had some pretty inane conversations, mostly started by the hobbits. I've written a few of them down.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 19 - Words: 29,870 - Reviews: 310 - Favs: 174 - Follows: 56 - Updated: 12/21/2004 - Published: 2/5/2004 - Peregrin T., Boromir
Harry Potter: the Sorcerer's Stoned by FanFictionFantom reviews
Mwahahaha...a twisted version of Harry Potter featuring Harry as a schizo, Ron as a crossdresser, and an accident-prone Hermione. Enjoy, hehehe. COMPLETE!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 11 - Words: 27,797 - Reviews: 158 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 12/19/2004 - Published: 7/26/2004 - Complete
Of Elves and Dwarves and Late Night Philosophy by Thundera Tiger reviews
Against his better judgement, Aragorn attempts to direct a late night debate between Legolas and Gimli. How successful is he? I'll leave that for you to decide.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,049 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 87 - Follows: 7 - Published: 11/30/2004 - Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli - Complete
Smiting Ruin by Thundera Tiger reviews
A clash of movie verse and book verse during the scene in which Gandalf the White reunites with Aragorn, Gimli, and Legolas. Sometimes changing the words around can change the entire meaning. Fairly inane, but it's short and fun.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,059 - Reviews: 60 - Favs: 66 - Follows: 4 - Published: 9/2/2004 - Gandalf, Legolas, Gimli, Aragorn - Complete
Two's a Crowd by shie1dmaidenofrohan reviews
The book and movie versions of Faramir unexpectedly meet in a tavern. Will they ever be able to see eye to eye?
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,116 - Reviews: 82 - Favs: 83 - Follows: 6 - Published: 7/3/2004 - Faramir, Gandalf - Complete
Into the Inferno by harrys-sad-fish reviews
Voldemort rescues Harry from the cruelty of the Dursleys.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,767 - Reviews: 105 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 6/23/2004 - Published: 6/21/2004 - Harry P., Voldemort - Complete
In the Deep Places by Lamiel reviews
Legolas and Gimli set the foundations for friendship in Moria and Lothlorien. Mithril Award Winner: Best Lord of the Rings. COMPLETE.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Angst - Chapters: 17 - Words: 99,954 - Reviews: 420 - Favs: 350 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 6/16/2004 - Published: 6/16/2003 - Complete
The Basement by Marz1 reviews
AU third year. I must have a sign on my back that says psycho paths please attack me. I would not put it beyond Dudley to afix such a sign to me, but I doubt he could spell it accurately enough for a psycho to understand.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 27 - Words: 80,802 - Reviews: 1380 - Favs: 1,066 - Follows: 195 - Updated: 5/30/2004 - Published: 12/2/2003 - Harry P., Sirius B. - Complete
Don't Panic! by boz4PM reviews
Penny is panicking. Where is she? How did she get here? How is she going to get home and whose backside will she kick first when she does? A woman lost in Middle Earth wearing only her pyjamas. This can't be good... (STRONG language; NOT a M-Sue)
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 27 - Words: 136,860 - Reviews: 1251 - Favs: 1,822 - Follows: 293 - Updated: 3/27/2004 - Published: 1/17/2004
Pigtails by Persnickety reviews
“I am completely horrified right now,” Draco responded blandly. “And strangely intrigued...” The ever popular scenario: Veritaserum in the Potions Lab. Slash themes. Humour.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 8,809 - Reviews: 272 - Favs: 521 - Follows: 128 - Updated: 3/17/2004 - Published: 2/26/2004 - Draco M., Harry P.
No Living Man by Elana reviews
In which the Witch King realizes that, for an inhabitant of Middle Earth, the knowledge that you cannot be harmed by any living man is no reason to get cocky.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 810 - Reviews: 68 - Favs: 162 - Follows: 14 - Published: 3/17/2004 - Complete
Moments Say So Much by Evadne reviews
The Fellowship sometimes has some trouble getting along
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 6 - Words: 4,072 - Reviews: 214 - Favs: 183 - Follows: 66 - Updated: 3/9/2004 - Published: 10/16/2003 - Gandalf, Frodo B.
Fortress Around The Heart by Darma Druid reviews
Yet another (mighty) stretch from Master Tolkien's work - a challenge for both reader and writer. Elves: immortal, powerful, rich, bitter, secluded, secret. And living amongst us today.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 26 - Words: 225,108 - Reviews: 1139 - Favs: 382 - Follows: 64 - Updated: 2/5/2004 - Published: 10/3/2003 - Legolas
From the Abyss by Ruskbyte reviews
Three years ago he was wrongfully sent to Azkaban. Now something has happened. Something that has placed the power of a god into the hands of a man that's half insane. A man who wants revenge. The question now is; who's Harry going to kill first?
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Angst/Suspense - Chapters: 5 - Words: 28,870 - Reviews: 981 - Favs: 939 - Follows: 828 - Updated: 11/26/2003 - Published: 12/6/2002 - Harry P.
The Game of the Gods by Limyaael reviews
COMPLETE Morgoth and Varda are playing a little game. Morgoth's weapon: Mary Sues. Varda's weapon: Reality. Rated for violence and Vala OOCness.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Parody/Adventure - Chapters: 35 - Words: 73,692 - Reviews: 776 - Favs: 783 - Follows: 70 - Updated: 11/25/2003 - Published: 9/13/2003 - Complete
The Persistence of Memory by neutral reviews
The Boy Who Lived disappeared during the TriWizard Tournament, and Voldemort is discovered dead. A year later, a boy named James with no memory of his past is living in a muggle orphanage. [currently undergoing revision. chapter 11 uploaded]
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 11 - Words: 53,408 - Reviews: 1878 - Favs: 983 - Follows: 575 - Updated: 11/25/2003 - Published: 4/4/2002 - Harry P., Sirius B.
A Spark in the Dark by Luineturiel reviews
Blind girl gets to meet Legolas. This is quite a dark piece of writing, full of musings rather than action. Chapter 18 is finally up! - 'Song and Sword'
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 18 - Words: 38,245 - Reviews: 175 - Favs: 68 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 8/30/2003 - Published: 5/22/2002 - Legolas
Lullaby of a Dragon by Mysticalsoul reviews
Something happens in potions, and Harry is turned into a child. Draco has no choice but to take care of him, and everyday Harry gains one year, changing his mind, his outward appearance and his soul. Chap.9 Updated! Harry/Draco SLASH! R/R PLEASE!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 68,237 - Reviews: 1186 - Favs: 1,036 - Follows: 590 - Updated: 6/15/2003 - Published: 9/1/2002 - Draco M., Harry P.
Nobody Tosses a Dwarf by Honesty reviews
An ancient Dwarvish law explained. In verse.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 293 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/11/2003 - Gimli, Gimli
A Word of Caution Regarding Hobbits by Baylor reviews
Hobbits. No one ever warned me about hobbits. Post-ROTK.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,297 - Reviews: 97 - Favs: 165 - Follows: 10 - Published: 1/28/2003 - Legolas, Peregrin T.
Watch This! by daw the minstrel reviews
Little elves fight boredom with shields, a stairway, and a phrase dreaded by the parents of boychildren of all races. Shameless movieverse.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,557 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 4 - Published: 1/13/2003 - Legolas - Complete
Snappy dressing dude gets hit on the head by trinity4 reviews
Boromir gets hit on the head and starts acting a little...odd
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 7,369 - Reviews: 130 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 11/26/2002 - Published: 3/6/2002 - Boromir, Aragorn
While the Ring went south by Thundera Tiger reviews
What happened after the Fellowship left Rivendell but before they came down off Caradhras? Behold the missing scenes.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 21 - Words: 149,624 - Reviews: 942 - Favs: 727 - Follows: 53 - Updated: 11/6/2002 - Published: 10/31/2001 - Complete
The Official Fanfiction University of Middleearth by misscam reviews
The fic that spawned miniBalrogs, Elrond's Naturally Nine, the MorgothSauron feud, Urple, the WitchWall and finally, Gimli got the girl.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 64 - Words: 66,366 - Reviews: 3102 - Favs: 1,865 - Follows: 174 - Updated: 7/12/2002 - Published: 3/8/2002 - Complete
Not Another Snape is Harry's Father Story by Ariana Deralte reviews
A blatant parody of all the Snape-is-Harry's-father stories that are out there. Hope you all enjoy:)
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,934 - Reviews: 425 - Favs: 272 - Follows: 29 - Published: 6/11/2002 - Harry P., Severus S.
Sorting Fred by Morrighan reviews
There are people who are easy to sort, and there are people who are more difficult. And then there's Fred Weasley... Well, how hard can it be to sort him?
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,273 - Reviews: 522 - Favs: 936 - Follows: 93 - Published: 3/16/2001 - Fred W., George W. - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Mostly Harmless reviews
I'd just woken up, inexplicably wearing a tattered brown dress and being told repeatedly by two frolicking women that they were elves and I was not, ha ha, and that I had better help them save the world. I mean, what's a girl supposed to do with that?
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 28,878 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 8/22/2011 - Published: 2/6/2008
A Salty Conundrum reviews
“Excuse me,” came a rather reasonable voice from the back of the bunch “Might we move past all this obligatory yelling and get straight to business? I’ve had a long day.” Shameless self-insertion; horrific character mangling; torture. I make no apologies
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,706 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 5/18/2011 - Published: 2/26/2010 - Legolas, Aragorn
In Which the Manliness Only Magnifies reviews
Part 3 in the 'Manly Chronicles'. Of summin an' a grottle burgle, yarg?
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 533 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Published: 8/4/2010 - Gimli - Complete
Thrill of the Chase reviews
Because there are fates on this earth more terrifying than death.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Horror/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,973 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/15/2009 - Glorfindel, Erestor - Complete
Another Manly Tale reviews
Part 2 in the 'Manly Chronicles'. Of a Manly Father, and the plight for his flamboyant offspring...
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 544 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 3 - Updated: 6/10/2008 - Published: 10/3/2005 - Thranduil, Legolas - Complete
A Story of Great Manliness reviews
Part 1 in the 'Manly Chronicles'. Of a Manly Man, and his sons. Witness the glory, the classic of the Manliest Men of Middle Earth, and quiver in unadulterated fear and envy! For who amongst you could boast such true Manliness, with a capital MAN?
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 696 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 6 - Published: 8/21/2005 - Denethor, Faramir - Complete
Of Orbs And Such reviews
Are you sick of overused cliche's? Of word that don't exsist, but are still used? Of the way that apples go all brown and icky when you leave them in the air too long? Well, i cant do much about the apples, but i DO enjoy making fun of bad writing...
Lord of the Rings - Rated: M - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,534 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 7/3/2005 - Published: 5/29/2005
Harry Potter and the Immensely Evil Leprechaun reviews
A story of romance and mystery, drama and horror, Angst, spirituality, and some purple Speedo's... But beware the leprachauns, for they do not yet exsist in this story, and not even I have any idea what they shall do...
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,243 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 6/5/2005 - Published: 4/13/2005
Dubious Adventures: A Tale of the Bravest Heroics reviews
I was once abandoned at school, left to rot in the library. My family had forgotten me, and I was surrounded by my worst enemy: Silence. I had no food, no water, and all cool internets sites had been blocked. My name is Kat, and this is my story...
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,677 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 6/2/2005 - Published: 5/29/2005
Come to say Hello? reviews
We’re all stuffed anyway. We were borne to die. Every moment of our lives brings us one step closer to our deaths. Doesn’t matter if you feed your dog, or if you beat it. It doesn’t matter if you try or not. They’ll still send you to hell.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,559 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/30/2005
The Magical Quest of Questyness reviews
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,421 - Reviews: 9 - Published: 1/18/2005
Jamie Spazz reviews
With an almighty roar, Harry ripped off his robes like the hulk, and threw the table away, before chasing after her again. "Die you evil, backstabbing Man-Child!"
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,656 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 3 - Published: 9/9/2004