Mental Hospital Phone Menu
Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental
Please select from the following options menu:
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which
If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.
If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our
If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn
If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just