Sputz
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Joined 11-13-03, id: 486489
Author has written 6 stories for Pirates of the Caribbean, and Harry Potter.

I have deleted Gift of the Dark Lord, Legacy of the Wizard, and Aftermath. I was looking at them, and I just... did not like them at all. I know it seems very stupid, but that's how I feel! (Yes. That's right. I feel stupid.) Sorry to anyone that did like them.


Amazing AF artwork: to get into it, you need to log in to my account on the site. Which is fine, because the account is solely for pictures. If you click on the link, it will take you to the login window. Type 'sputzo' in the username box, and 'pics' in password box, then have a look in 'view pictures' for all the amazing artwork by Megan and Jo! Just remember to sign out afterwards...
- Please investigate them, they're all brilliant!

All's Fair is being translated into Italian by Yumeko! If you're Italian... http:www.egoio.net/efp/viewstory.php?sid=25719i=1


Finally, a the bit that is actually about me:

In brief I am... weird. If you want to know the fine tuning, you are welcome to email me!

On ff.net, I like most pairings, EXCEPT RW/HG as a focal point to a fic. We all know it will happen, so I don't feel any particular urge to read things that focus on it.

Although I write angst, I don't actually read it much. Too depressing. If you want to find humour, then look in my favourites. If you don't, then I wouldn't bother!

Toodles!

~Sputzo

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Quarantine by KAOS reviews
UPDATED 4 YEARS LATER! !In 'Care of Magical Creatures' class, Draco pulls a trick on Hermione, resulting in them being sprayed with an infectious liquid, AND 3 months in Quarantine together!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 21 - Words: 45,252 - Reviews: 1213 - Favs: 471 - Follows: 205 - Updated: 7/28/2009 - Published: 7/31/2002 - Draco M., Hermione G.
Once Upon a Freakin' Time by Evadne reviews
The Death Eaters attempt to do bad things, but mostly just do things badly.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 40 - Words: 29,923 - Reviews: 1963 - Favs: 2,088 - Follows: 719 - Updated: 2/15/2008 - Published: 8/7/2002 - Voldemort, Severus S.
Parenting Class by IcyPanther reviews
Complete DHr & HG Sixth years at Hogwarts are now required to take a parenting class, what fun! Hermione, Draco, and Harry are paired up in which they'll trade off being children. Can they live through the class or will being a parent prove too hard?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 38 - Words: 207,647 - Reviews: 6304 - Favs: 4,887 - Follows: 1,054 - Updated: 9/15/2006 - Published: 9/19/2004 - Draco M., Hermione G. - Complete
Secrets of the Forbidden Broomcloset by Anthea Rose reviews
Draco Malfoy is beyond infuriated when a bored Daily Prophet pins him as gay, and he's willing to do anything to prove his heterosexuality - even accept help from an aloof but sympathizing Harry Potter. DMHP SLASH!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 34 - Words: 137,386 - Reviews: 4458 - Favs: 2,476 - Follows: 1,566 - Updated: 7/16/2006 - Published: 5/13/2004 - Draco M., Harry P.
Trick Stair by Lyra Silvertongue2 reviews
Preromance. Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy. Three hours is a long time to be trapped beneath a trick stair, and stairs aren't too spacious these days...
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 22 - Words: 28,819 - Reviews: 1820 - Favs: 1,525 - Follows: 224 - Updated: 5/16/2006 - Published: 12/29/2003 - Draco M., Hermione G. - Complete
Temporary Insanity by arbitrary reviews
Don't dip your quill in the company ink... I should have known better than to get involved with my boss, but who knew would lead to me, back on the job market, and Malfoy with a job offer I couldn't refuse? literally. I'm back!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 25 - Words: 84,419 - Reviews: 2302 - Favs: 1,646 - Follows: 983 - Updated: 2/15/2006 - Published: 5/21/2003 - Hermione G., Draco M.
Divine Humiliation by zarah joyce reviews
You humiliated me. I admit you played me very well. However, don't expect this to be the end. After a series of twists and turns, what will be the end of it all? FINISHED.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 86,508 - Reviews: 1818 - Favs: 1,871 - Follows: 336 - Updated: 8/30/2005 - Published: 3/21/2004 - Hermione G., Draco M. - Complete
A Marauder's Girl by Peachy Papayas reviews
James and Lily have always hated each other. But in their fourth year, a stupid dare compels James to ask out his enemy. When she refuses, he is shocked no girl has ever refused him before. And thus began his infatuation with a certain redhead...
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 33 - Words: 189,593 - Reviews: 1206 - Favs: 646 - Follows: 159 - Updated: 8/12/2005 - Published: 4/1/2004 - James P., Lily Evans P. - Complete
Slip of the Tongue by AoiGensou reviews
COMPLETE What one thinks one says is not always what comes out of one's mouth. Draco Malfoy discovers this one day in a confrontation with Harry Potter. He meant to say hate, he really did... too bad his heart said love. HPDM
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 7,784 - Reviews: 116 - Favs: 256 - Follows: 45 - Updated: 5/25/2005 - Published: 10/29/2004 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
Morning Glory by Miss Prongs reviews
After graduating from Hogwarts, Harry heads to muggle London to figure out his sexuality problem...who else would he meet but a cunning blond [Draco! Draco!] who helps persuade Harry in his decision...[HPDM slash.] Completed.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 14 - Words: 75,910 - Reviews: 617 - Favs: 441 - Follows: 72 - Updated: 4/2/2005 - Published: 12/1/2004 - Harry P., Draco M.
Magnetic Attraction by frizzy returned reviews
Draco Malfoy is a part Veela, and has recently come into what is known as his Inheritance. On discovering that Harry Potter is his mate, he must try to seduce the Gryffindor hero. Will Harry fight against the bond forced upon him, or will he weaken under
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 49,434 - Reviews: 615 - Favs: 1,165 - Follows: 1,078 - Published: 2/5/2005 - Harry P., Draco M.
Tempus Fugit by Stylophile reviews
A monumental cock-up in Potions leaves Harry and Draco contending with more than mutual enmity, and a strong desire to utter all manner of profanities. Slash, sex and slurred words ensue.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 97,329 - Reviews: 1544 - Favs: 3,355 - Follows: 495 - Updated: 12/20/2004 - Published: 3/15/2004 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
Life, As Experienced Through Your Fingers by Gold-Snitcher reviews
DMHP. AU. Draco Malfoy loves boarding school almost as much as he hates it. But this new school for the arts provides him with more challenges and happiness than he ever expected to experience. (Complete).
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 13 - Words: 110,654 - Reviews: 1008 - Favs: 2,026 - Follows: 283 - Updated: 11/6/2004 - Published: 11/20/2003 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
I Dare You by slytherin-serpent13 reviews
When Hermione gets herself into a competition she doesn't know what the consequences will be...
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 19,988 - Reviews: 236 - Favs: 69 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 11/3/2004 - Published: 8/4/2004 - Hermione G., Severus S.
Penname: Hermione Granger by Cassiel Oliviari reviews
Hermione and the gang sold their story to a Muggle Author, who turned it into a big hit, but skewed the facts. She tries to retaliate by writing her own fanfiction, but finds out it's harder than it looks.APPENDIX0913
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 16 - Words: 22,921 - Reviews: 215 - Favs: 50 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 9/13/2004 - Published: 6/23/2004 - Hermione G., Draco M. - Complete
Owl Posts by Farangis reviews
I heard you faking orgasm for Potty last night - or was it the Weasel" "I was SINGING you sodding git" - read the owl posts between our favorite HB & HG. (DMHG, HPGW)
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,697 - Reviews: 359 - Favs: 311 - Follows: 273 - Updated: 7/6/2004 - Published: 6/16/2004 - Draco M., Hermione G.
Virgin Mary Gryffindor by petthekat reviews
A conversation between Hermione and Draco, meant to be entirely satirical. Hermione asks Draco if he's a virgin.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 976 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 7 - Published: 6/22/2004 - Draco M., Hermione G. - Complete
Pigtails by Persnickety reviews
“I am completely horrified right now,” Draco responded blandly. “And strangely intrigued...” The ever popular scenario: Veritaserum in the Potions Lab. Slash themes. Humour.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 8,809 - Reviews: 285 - Favs: 566 - Follows: 141 - Updated: 3/17/2004 - Published: 2/26/2004 - Draco M., Harry P.
My Life As a House Elf by just call me Cappy reviews
When Hermione is turned into a House elf by an irritated wizard in Knockturn Alley, she finds herself being bought and hired to ... who else, but the Malfoys?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 19 - Words: 46,034 - Reviews: 776 - Favs: 773 - Follows: 119 - Updated: 1/3/2004 - Published: 11/19/2002 - Hermione G., Draco M. - Complete
The Children's Services Division by Rose Rovente reviews
Muggles decide the Weasleys are unfit parents, as it seems their children don't go to school and their house has no eckeltricity.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 11,125 - Reviews: 480 - Favs: 313 - Follows: 136 - Updated: 12/28/2003 - Published: 2/25/2002 - George W., Ron W.
Last Will and Testament by hasapi reviews
[COMPLETE] 'I, Lucius Xavier Malfoy...only in the event of Draco's marriage to Hermione Granger shall all funds be transferred to him.' After Lucius discovers where Draco's loyalties lie, he does the only thing guaranteed to make Draco's life miserable...
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 13 - Words: 39,155 - Reviews: 1283 - Favs: 1,799 - Follows: 285 - Updated: 11/28/2003 - Published: 1/25/2003 - Draco M., Hermione G. - Complete
Pass the Snog by KT the Shimmer Skank reviews
Ladies and gentlemen, by the order of George Weasley, it is Pass the Snog Day! Sheer insanity ensues as a cursed snog is passed around Hogwarts. Who will snog who? *COMPLETE*
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 17,502 - Reviews: 1364 - Favs: 1,465 - Follows: 159 - Updated: 7/8/2003 - Published: 12/30/2002 - George W. - Complete
Welcome to the Real World by IamtheLizardQueen reviews
A Harry/Draco romance, set post-Hogwart's in muggle London. Includes red mittens, linoleum, witty retorts, angst, love, dance clubs, strange friends, cooking shows, and coffee not necessarily in that order !
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 14 - Words: 124,521 - Reviews: 2073 - Favs: 2,497 - Follows: 267 - Updated: 6/20/2003 - Published: 8/19/2002 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
Draco In Darkness by plumeria reviews
Following an accident in his seventh year, Draco loses his eyesight. After Harry elbows his way into Draco's dark world, both boys find themselves in a strange new friendship, and they each learn new ways to see each other … and themselves. [Complete]
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 40,959 - Reviews: 774 - Favs: 2,326 - Follows: 256 - Updated: 3/31/2003 - Published: 2/13/2003 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
A Sex Ed Lesson by Lady Feylene reviews
Snape has to give the fifth years the facts of life....(Very *very* mild slash hint)
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,144 - Reviews: 256 - Favs: 476 - Follows: 44 - Published: 1/27/2003 - Severus S.
Everything Snarky I Know I Learned from Snape by Ibex's Lyre reviews
Hermione's pre-graduation speech.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,084 - Reviews: 369 - Favs: 567 - Follows: 79 - Published: 9/3/2002 - Severus S., Hermione G.
Raincoat!Draco by Rhysenn reviews
Draco shows up on the doorstep of #4 Privet Drive wearing nothing but a raincoat and rubber boots. Does it get any better? (Harry/Draco slash)
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,709 - Reviews: 336 - Favs: 553 - Follows: 57 - Published: 7/1/2001
The Slytherin Kama Sutra by Angie Astravic reviews
Sex education at Hogwarts: After Draco Malfoy has a near-fatal encounter with Dark Magic, Professor McGonagall decides it needs to be taught earlier. Note the R rating. Nothing explicit, but quite a lot is implied.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,258 - Reviews: 276 - Favs: 133 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 4/6/2001 - Published: 11/1/2000
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

All's Fair reviews
Bored with post-Voldemort life, Harry and Draco begin a very interesting game... Slashy fun!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 18 - Words: 34,987 - Reviews: 868 - Favs: 419 - Follows: 352 - Updated: 2/23/2006 - Published: 10/24/2004 - Harry P., Draco M.
Utilis Fabula Monstra reviews
Sirius decides to find his soul mate, and drags the reluctant Remus along with him. OneShot.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 932 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 7 - Published: 5/18/2005 - Sirius B., Remus L. - Complete
Lost in Shadows reviews
Voldemort is dead, but the nightmare for Hermione is just beginning as she is turned into a vampire and flees the Wizarding World. But then after a chance encounter with an old acquaintance, everything starts to change... (HGSS)
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 4 - Words: 8,310 - Reviews: 55 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 1/7/2005 - Published: 11/9/2004 - Hermione G., Severus S.
Him reviews
A short drabble in which Harry reflects on his feelings for Draco.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 387 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/5/2005 - Harry P., Draco M.
Dark Princess reviews
Hermione has been taken by Voldemort, who has made her forget her past and become his heir. Can Severus help her remember her past? HGSS- NOW COMPLETE!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 13 - Words: 22,360 - Reviews: 222 - Favs: 128 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 11/2/2004 - Published: 8/12/2004 - Hermione G., Severus S. - Complete
Mary Sue the Evil Pigeon Beheader reviews
I am sick of Mary Sues. Here is a one off written as it would really happen! R&R please!
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 689 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 4 - Published: 4/18/2004
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