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Joined 11-15-03, id: 487683, Profile Updated: 01-28-14
Author has written 8 stories for Dark Age Of Camelot, Legend of Zelda, Halo, Chrono Trigger, Crackdown, and PlanetSide.

Okay, so its about time I finally revamp my profile, its been the same for the near decade I've been on this website.

Just some basic info about me and my stories and such, if you want to contact me outside of my email address is and my Xbox Live gamertag is Furerian!

My name is Joey if you havent guessed already, im 22 years old and have been writing Fan Fics for about 12 years now. Which i would like to note will explain the horrendous grammar and spelling of my first fanfic, My Version of OOT. You still might find it funny none-the-less, so give it a read!

As another note. I write in script format. It is a very comfortable format for me to write in. At one point used to allow Script type stories, but the rule changed, I havent. Most of my stories are written this way. However as Halo: What the Crap?! has progressed, I have slowly been creating a type of format that is a Hybrid between Script and Normal. I think it's quite appealing and not quite rule-breaking so tell me what you think of my style?

Since "I" appear in many of my own stories ill give you a quick description of what I look like.

I'm an even 6 feet tall and i have rather long hair, it usually falls past my eyes. It's naturally brown but I dye it random colors all the time. I'm pretty skinny but not terribly muscular and in my stories im usually wearing the Light Suit from Metroid. Which I have stolen from Samus. The suit is subject to change depending on the new games as they come up. Though in the stories I am occasionally seen without the Armor, I generally wear baggy blue jeans and a black t-shirt that's too big for me, I also wear a gold cross around my neck.

Some of my favorite series are of course Metroid and Zelda. Along with Crackdown, Kirby, Smash Bros, Halo, The Elder Scrolls and Fallout. I also like Crono Trigger and select Fire Emblem games. I also play Diablo and Warcraft. If you want to play with me on any of these games just E-mail me.

Characters: Heres a list of stars and co-stars that appear in my stories, many are based on real life people and many act the same way they do in real life, I wouldn't portray me or my friends in any other way. But for all intents and purposes, the characters are Fictional.

Joey: For all intents and purposes. I have to say that Joey isn't "real" and that he is an avatar used by me to play roles in my stories that is based off of myself. But that's just to fit the rules. As the Avatar of the author, Joey has unparalleled and limitless power within his own stories. Known as "Author" powers. He often uses them to completely screw with any sense of normalcy within the realm of his creation. With the help of his friends, of course.

Justin: Borderline Schizophrenic and the group psychopath, Justin is highly unstable and often random in his behavior. He's about 6'3" and has hair similar to Joeys. His skin is white as snow and his intellect can be unmatched. Insanity and Genius are two sides of the same coin. But what is he really?

Mike: Mike is a Metroid that came in a can. He is introduced in OOT and has followed me ever since. He's based off my personality though not quite as hyperactive.

Fangz: A good friend of mine. Shes a gerudo who doesnt have Red Hair... or implants. Shes actually a Burnett and is rather short. One of the more sane and collected people in the story, though she too has her moments. She has an account on, you can find her in my favorite authors, her name should be easy to spot.

Nick: Joeys best friend and group pervert. He's half black and is a few inches shorter than Joey. He's rather muscular and can be arrogant and full of himself. Now an Ex-Marine. At least he's got confidence right?

Tyler: He stands about as tall as Justin, but weighs about 3 times as much. The group Fat Guy, though he's actually just built big. He has shorter hair and is prone to homicidal fits. He's also known to have the unique ability of "Publisher Powers"... whatever those are.

Sam: Appearing in Halo: What the Crap. Sam is the squad medic. She doesnt show too many odd quirks, being a soldier to the core. Her description is in the story! Give it a read!

This is all i have to tell you for now.

Story Status:

This is a list of stories or stories I have planned and how hard im working on them based on a scale from 1 to 10. 1 being the least, 10 being the most.

My version of OOT (Ocarina Of Time): Compleated!

My version of MM (Majoras Mask): Postponed indefinitely.

My version of WW (Wind Waker): Postponed indefinitely.

My version of TP (Twilight Princess) Postponed indefinitely.

Halo: What the crap?! 8/10

How To Mess Up Chrono Trigger: Postponed indefinitely.

Metroid: The OTHER Other M. - 5/10

Planetside: Auraxis Chronicles - 5/10

Kind of a sad state of affairs to see so many of my stories in Limbo. My life took a rather negative turn some time ago and I have been without internet for quite some time. Now I'm out of school and have a real job, I can afford internet. Hopefully this will bring a resurgence in my writing. Who knows? I'm also very lazy outside of work.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Things no Zelda Character would ever do by Link Fangirl01 reviews
I got bored and decided to put Zelda characters in stupid situations. Yes I'm lazy, yes I know it. But you know what? I AM DONE. Chapter six has been uploaded and this fic is COMPLETED. Woohoo! Thanks to everyone who reviewed!
Legend of Zelda - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 6 - Words: 2,811 - Reviews: 79 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 5/23/2010 - Published: 6/7/2006 - Complete
Immature Giggling by Apologist reviews
AKA The Pervert's Guide to Hyrule. Don't ask me, because I don't know. Read. Review if you have enough free time to seriously waste some. Lots of people X lots of other people.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 606 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 3 - Published: 7/3/2005
Plots Weren't Provided! by Sovios Falchion Romantic reviews
Umm... there's no sex or anything. It did well at so Inviso asked me to upload it here. It has no plot whatsoever, but it's funny, so enjoy. Read and review, s'il vous plait! Is that spelled right?
Legend of Zelda - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 10 - Words: 11,661 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 6/25/2005 - Published: 3/21/2005
Tom and Marsha by luckygirllucky reviews
Tom And Marsha...A Humor and Tragedy story.. Made up in Spanish Class while watching a video :D
X-overs - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 124 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 2/22/2005
Twisted Romance by Ria the Bee reviews
COMPLETE! All the girls love Link, but who does he love? Soon it will become a contest to see 'who can win Link's love.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 19 - Words: 31,226 - Reviews: 279 - Favs: 61 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 2/16/2005 - Published: 7/26/2003 - Complete
The Ocarina of Time But Different by TheOminousWriterOfDoom reviews
Rewrite! This is the rewrite of my original fic for this site. It's a simple story following the plot of OOT. Enjoy!
Legend of Zelda - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,154 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 2 - Published: 7/28/2004
Links Funny Adventure by C. Helfrich reviews
A Story of Humor!
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Humor/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 986 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 4 - Updated: 6/23/2004 - Published: 6/20/2004
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Planetside: Auraxis Chronicles reviews
The war of Auraxis has gone on for 7 long years. When will it end? Nobody can say. View the war through the eyes of three brave Terrans. From the first strike, to the endless struggle the war has become.
PlanetSide - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 9,168 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 5/1/2013 - Published: 8/10/2010
Halo What the Crap? reviews
Joey and his friends get sucked into the haloverse and must figure out how to get home while going through the Halo storyline. Theres other storys alot like this, but this ones mine... R&R
Halo - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 28,729 - Reviews: 61 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 1/1/2010 - Published: 6/29/2006
Cracked Up reviews
Two not so mentally sound agency Super Agents attempt to take down the Kingpins of Three major gangs in Pacific City. Rated T for Language, Violence, and jokes made by two 17 year old boys.
Crackdown - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 831 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Published: 7/21/2008
How to mess up Chrono Trigger reviews
Joey and his friends decide to enter Chrono Trigger and see what damage they can cause. Can Crono and his friends stay sane in their company?
Chrono Trigger - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,125 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Published: 11/9/2007
My Version of WW reviews
Joey and his friends invade Wind Waker in yet another Zelda Parody. What could they possibly do now? Rated T for language and jokes made by teenagers.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,534 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 9/13/2007 - Published: 9/10/2007
My version of TP reviews
After OOT, Joey and his friends decide to destroy Twilight Princess. What can they screw up this time?
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,868 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 2 - Published: 5/29/2007 - Link
My version of OOT reviews
Like the title says this is my version of OOT. I have rewritten chapter 8 because of some issues... THE STORY IS FINALLY COMPLEATED! Plz R&R.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 20 - Words: 23,983 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 9/29/2006 - Published: 3/21/2006
Gogietas story reviews
a story i wrote about my charictor on DAoC
Dark Age Of Camelot - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 199 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 7/13/2004