pestilent.defiler
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Joined 07-15-13, id: 4887164, Profile Updated: 07-16-14
Author has written 13 stories for Borderlands.

I've finally jumped off the deep end, and the characters that have taken root in my brain are shooting their way out. As I'm a terminally bored housewife, expect smut. And crackfic. Lots of crackfic.

I solemnly swear that I will never incorporate Mary Sues, OCs as main characters, happy pregnancy endings (ew, ew, ew), or the word "manhood".

Oh, and as far as I'm concerned, Borderlands:Origins isn't canon, mostly because it doesn't make any damn sense. Deal with it.

I can also be found as pestilent-defiler on Tumblr.

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Ain't No One Gonna See by Pink Pandoracorn reviews
Maya catches Brick in a compromising situation, and ends up doing some of her own compromising. Rated for language and adult content.
Borderlands - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,096 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Published: 7/15/2014
Strip Poker by WhimsicalMayhem reviews
Somethings Maya could just do without. Strip poker made the top five, along with enemies she couldn't phasleock and cheesy pickup lines.
Borderlands - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,779 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 3/11/2014 - Published: 7/16/2013 - Complete
What Psychos Do by LittlePorcelainDoll reviews
I didn't mind killing. It used to bother me, but when the world is built on blood and bullets, it's hard to get worked up for anything anymore. - Krieg/Maya
Borderlands - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 28,708 - Reviews: 223 - Favs: 320 - Follows: 375 - Updated: 1/17/2014 - Published: 6/7/2013 - Krieg, Maya
Not the Right Weasley by Muggle Jane reviews
Things aren't going well with Ron, but maybe there's another Weasley for Hermione Granger. Oneshot fluff, EWE.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,160 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 3 - Published: 10/26/2013 - [Hermione G., George W.] - Complete
The Hunter and his friend by AgentMaryland93 reviews
PD! Here ya go! :D A poem for thee! I hope you like it
Borderlands - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 159 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 8/23/2013 - Complete
Cute by doubledippper reviews
Some Handsome Jack/Axton morning drabble.
Borderlands - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,054 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 2 - Published: 3/23/2013 - Axton, Handsome Jack - Complete
Passing Strange by LittlePorcelainDoll reviews
A series of stand alone one-shots and missing moments featuring a variety of characters in no particular order or time. Expect a buffet of pairings for kicks and giggles.
Borderlands - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 35,706 - Reviews: 126 - Favs: 77 - Follows: 59 - Updated: 3/22/2013 - Published: 12/25/2012 - Maya, Salvador, Axton, Gaige
Twisted Infatuate Views by sadistickunais reviews
Lilith/Mordecai. A tiff develops more meaning than either Lilith or Mordecai thought it would. As time goes on, it has different outcomes than both could have predicted. A 5 part Mini-series. Part 5 is Post-Borderlands 2, about two years after everything has ended. Part follows the immediate end of Part 4. This story contains SPOILERS, mostly for BL2, so be warned.
Borderlands - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 5 - Words: 36,961 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 61 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 12/14/2012 - Published: 9/14/2012 - [Lilith, Mordecai] [Maya, Zer0] - Complete
Stupid Bird by Mishamishamisha reviews
Perfect way to shut up a raving woman... MordecaixLilithwin.
Borderlands - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 483 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/19/2010 - Mordecai, Lilith - Complete
One out of nine by silverbirch reviews
Everyone knows how Voldemort was defeated - or thinks they do. Let Crookshanks tell you the real story of how he overcame a dark wizard, with a little help from some humans, and still had time for romance. JK Rowling obviously owns it.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 24 - Words: 37,746 - Reviews: 227 - Favs: 150 - Follows: 63 - Updated: 11/26/2010 - Published: 4/26/2010 - Crookshanks, Mrs. Norris - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Benefits reviews
Mordecai hated being back in Sanctuary, but there were benefits. ...A bit of smutty fluff.
Borderlands - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,616 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 5 - Published: 11/18/2013 - Lilith, Mordecai - Complete
The Healing Power of He-Man reviews
When Mordecai drinks and watches He-Man, he dreams of Sorceress!Bloodwing. This is the crackiest crackfic I've written to date.
Borderlands - Rated: T - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,741 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 10/27/2013 - Complete
Christmas on Pandora reviews
Crackfic wherein Roland REALLY loves Christmas, Lilith is unamused, Mordecai is a loveable jerk, and Brick goes with the flow. Lilith/Roland, Lilith/Mordecai, Roland/Holiday Cheer
Borderlands - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,287 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/26/2013 - Brick, Lilith, Mordecai, Roland - Complete
Everything For You reviews
Shouldn't a father do everything he can for his daughter? Written for BR's week 2 challenge, humanizing Handsome Jack.
Borderlands - Rated: K - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 782 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/27/2013 - Complete
Lightweight reviews
Obviously, repressed Siren Maya doesn't do a lot of drinking. She should probably keep it that way. Written in response to BitterRenegade's writing challenge, week 2. Rated for language and suggestive content, but nothing explicit. Crackfic!
Borderlands - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,108 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/19/2013 - Maya - Complete
Abstract Sadness reviews
Tannis copes with the news of Roland's death and the reality of her ever-dwindling sanity. Written in response to BitterRenegade's writing challenge, week 1. Oneshot.
Borderlands - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 766 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 3 - Published: 8/15/2013 - Patricia Tannis - Complete
Mordecai: Killer for Hire reviews
A short oneshot depicting Mordecai's very first (human) kill and how it makes him feel. Inspired by a forum challenge.
Borderlands - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 587 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 8/15/2013 - Complete
Of Kisses and Fire reviews
Lilith is a creature of fire, and sometimes the fire must burn. Rated for content. (Somewhere between a T and an M-)
Borderlands - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 750 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/13/2013 - Lilith, Mordecai - Complete
Vault Hunter Limericks reviews
Crackfic-type drabbles in limerick form. Yay!
Borderlands - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 142 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 8/9/2013 - Brick, Lilith, Mordecai, Roland - Complete
On the Roof reviews
After the death of Bloodwing, Lilith comforts her devastated friend.
Borderlands - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,609 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/7/2013 - Lilith, Mordecai - Complete
Good Friends reviews
Mordecai loves Lilith. Lilith loves him like her best friend. Mordecai wouldn't mind more, but what does Lilith think? **Writer's Block of Doom** Currently working on the latest chapter, making progress! Thanks for hanging in there, dear readers. *heart* Title changed from "Friend Zone" 5-25-14
Borderlands - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 18,130 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 8/6/2013 - Published: 7/18/2013 - Lilith, Mordecai
10 Songs Writer's Meme reviews
My playlist meets the characters of Borderlands. Rated for language and content, which I blame on the aforementioned playlist.
Borderlands - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,222 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/5/2013 - Lilith, Mordecai, Roland, Mad Moxxi - Complete
Always Cocky reviews
Solitude really is impossible sometimes. Mordecai breaks cover, Lilith is not amused. Sounds like the perfect beginning to a special friendship.
Borderlands - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,315 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 4 - Published: 7/16/2013 - Mordecai, Lilith - Complete