Dislikes:Math, Left-Wing Liberals, seeing dead animals, heat(unable to sweat), non-canon slash
Favorite Movies:"Star Wars","Scream","Rush Hour"(1,2 and 3),"Hellboy"(both),"Kill Bill"(both),"X-Men"(first 2),"Spider-Man"(all 3),"Daredevil","Hulk","Punisher"
If you talk back to the TV, copy this into your profile.
If you can raed tihs, cpoy tihs itno yuor polrfie, and sea if ohtres can raed it.
If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile
98 percent of teenagers do or have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile
ATTENTION: An annonymous user, karleybob, has insulted Cosmo Prower Tomahawk, saying that she was plagiaring Roger Rabbit just by making a parody, he just doesn't understand that SHE HAS ORIGINALITY, like every user in ff.net. if karleybob insult CTP or other user history, he'll be sorry for making that mistake!! IF YOU ARE AGAINST KARLEYBOB, COPY THIS IN YOUR PROFILE!!
Y BOIZ SHOULDN'T CHEAT
Jack was the most popular guy in school.
Ashley and Courtney were worst enemies.
Ashley approached the movies that night
Ashley had peeked through Courtney's
The next day at school Ashley wasn't
A note that read: My dearest Jack, I
Always with you, Ashley
Please foward this or Ashley will
For the people that didn't get to say "goodbye"
You can finish this 'ice ice _'
I just took a superhero/villan qiz my results are:
What superhero/villain are you?
1:Your Result: You are Deadpool
Hyper, hyper, hyper!!! What's this electrical cord for? You can say 'enchilada' in seven languages. Take some pills, dude, and don't go near heavy machinery. On the upside, you have a sense of humour. On the downside, you have a tendency to attack people for eating the last Cheesy Puff.
2: You are Spider-man, 3: You are Captain America, 4: You are Thor, 5: You are Wolverine, 6: You are the Green Goblin, 7: You are Doctor Doom, 8: You are Elektra
101 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of orange juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.
5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme song.
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"
17. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.
18. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
19. Start playing football; see how many people you can get to join in.
20. Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him "I need some tampons!!"
21. Try on bras in the sewing/fabric department
22. While walking around the store, sing in your loudest voice possible "Sex and candy".
23. Tune all the radios to a polka station, turn them all off and turn up all the volumes to the max.
24. Play with the automatic doors.
25. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.
26. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this junk, anyway?"
27. Repeat #26 in the jewelry department.
28. Try putting different pairs of women's panties on your head and walk around the store casually.
29. Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the mannequins.
30. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.
31. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"
32. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.
33. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.
34. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "...I'm Batman. Come, Robin--to the Batcave!"
35. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
36. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hell" upside down.
37. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, "Red Rover!"
38. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.
39. Take bets on the battle described above.
40. Set up another battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. G.I. Janes. (Red lipstick might give an interesting effect!!)
41. While no one's watching quickly switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the rest room.
42. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
43. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags
44. Fill your cart with boxes of condoms, and watch everyone's jaws drop when you attempt to buy them.
45. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.
46. Two words: "Marco Polo."
47. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle,etc.
48. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics.
49. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like "the fat man walks alone," and scare them into believing that the clothes are talking to them.
50. While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you and get into a very serious conversation. Exp: The person is breaking up with you and you begin crying "How could you do this to me? I thought you loved me! I knew there was another girl, but I thought I had won. You kissed ME darling." Then act as though you are being beaten and fall onto the ground screaming and having convulsions.
51. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
52. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.
53. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and begin stroking it lovingly, saying "Good girl, good Bessie."
54. Go over to the shoe department and try on every pair of shoes, not putiing one pair back. Take the paper from the boxes and throw it in various aisles.
55. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something,quickly make off with it without saying a word.
56. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.
57. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
58. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles.
59. In the makeup department, spray yourself with every perfume there is, then walk up to a boy who is with another girl and start flirting with him in that annoying, ditsy way. "hi!! (giggle) What's your sign?(giggle)." When the boy shows no interest, start hitting on the girl the exact same way. "hi!! (giggle) What's your sign? (giggle)."
60. Hold indoor shopping cart races.
61. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially thin narrow aisles.
62. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.
63. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
64. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.
65. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?"
66. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"
67. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a "test drive."
68. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.
69. Get boxes of Condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they don't realize it.
70. Get an empty book, and say it's a guest book. Get people to sign.
71. Play a game of indoor freeze tag
72. Drive around the entrances screaming out the window "the British are coming"
73. Have a team race with your friends- one person sits in the cart, the other pushes
74. Go to the checkout and buy a bar of candy. Repeat, going to the same cash register, until the clerk notices
75. Fill your cart up as much as possible, and then try to use the express lane
76. Use a bullhorn and occasionally say that there is free candy in aisle X (aisle X being the condom aisle)
77. Run into a pyramid of cans, heroically saying "I'm gonna save us from that bomb!"
78. Use a conveyer belt as a treadmill and lose some weight
79. Grab heavy but not too heavy objects, and see who can throw them the most aisles over.
80. When people aren't looking, put tampons in their carts if they are a guy, or if they are a gal, put in a jock strap.
81. Randomly direct people to the deodorant section
82. Tell someone that you will sue for false advertising, since they do not sell walls.
83. Take your boyfriend or girlfriend to the food section and have an expensive dinner.
84. Try to push your cart through a checkout without paying. When the clerk tries to stop you, kick in his balls (dont try it on a chick, it wont work), run, but leave the cart. See what happens.
85. If people arent looking at their cart, steal it.
86. Go to the gun section, saying "Can I buy a gun? I'm tired of that stupid smily face!"
87. Buy expensive stuff, go home and use wite-out and a pen to change the price to something much lower, and the total much higher, then return and demand a refund.
88. See how much stuff you can break before you get caught
89. Take a leak in the dressing rooms.
90. Repeadeately say "The clowns are not eating me."
91. Use fake checks, but sign them using your neighbors name.
92. Rearrange items as you see fit.
93. Take a full set of guy's clothes and a full set of gal's clothes, then leave them lying somewhere.
94. Put pokemon stuff in a cart that is full of stuff like KoRn and Limp Bizkit CDs.
95. Grab condoms and stick them in everyone's face (only the opposite sex).
96. Do #95 but with the same sex (not recomended).
97. Grab stickers that say "radioactive" and put them randomly on food items.
98. Follow someone until they notice.
99. Pull out pins, like that guy form the 7 Up commercial.
100. Throw Skittles at people and scream "TASTE THE RAINBOW!"
101. Loiter. When asked to leave, tell them you live here.
OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.
I thought this was funny:
Saddam Hussein and his chauffeur were rolling down the highway when suddenly they hit a pig crossing the road. They killed it instantly.
But most of all
Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?"
If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry'
If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things'
Pluto was no longer declared a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was 'too small' and 'off its orbit' for a couple scientists likings. If you still think Pluto should be a planet then copy and paste this to your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO!
Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we've always had: work or prison. -Tim Allen
See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time. -Robin Williams
"Ah, yes, divorce. From the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet." -Robin Williams
Link to the "Bring Back Young Justice and Green Lantern" petition: