Author has written 34 stories for Chronicles of Narnia.
I don't think anyone checks this profile anymore; it's been years since I was in the thick of things, and almost a year since I last wrote anything at all. But on the off chance that some of you do, I'd like to share a story that might explain (at least partially) why I'm gone.
My name is Katie; I'm 21 now, but I was 14 when I discovered Narnia, 15 when I wrote my first fanfiction, when I first came into contact with the network of people who loved Narnia like I did. I am an atheist, but that never prevented me from loving the Chronicles, nor did it stop me from befriending people for whom Narnia was more than just a transformative piece of literature, who used the books to strengthen and inspire their faith. To be fair, these people's connection with Narnia is probably more in line with what Lewis would have wanted, but I felt my own experience of the books ran plenty deep enough for me to relate, so I stuck around, despite the fact that some of the opinions expressed on profiles and in communities and reviews (particularly the ones regarding homosexuality) made me distinctly uncomfortable.
When I was 19, a very close friend of mine killed himself. He was gay, in the closet, and believed that his family, his school and his church would not accept him if he came out. Despite that, he made the difficult choice to tell them, and across the board, he was met with one message: "We love you, but you have to change. You are disgraceful in our eyes and in the eyes of God, and we cannot accept you as one of us unless you fix this aberration." Unable to reconcile the truth of his sexuality with the demands of his faith community, he ended his own life rather than face their continued disapproval.
Christian love and kindness did not kill my friend, but when it stood in support of outdated sexual mores that repressed and denied his natural sexuality, they may as well have. For a long time, I couldn't face the sweet, well-intentioned people who expressed those same beliefs that drove him to despair. I stopped writing; I stopped talking to people; I didn't even share the story with people I knew would be receptive to it (sorry, Sub) because I just didn't want to think about it.
My point is this: I am still an atheist, I still love Narnia, and I still believe I can be friends with people of many faiths. But I'm no longer willing to be passively polite towards those who cannot accept that homosexuality is natural, non-destructive, and not a rightful source of shame.
My name is Katie; I'm 21 now, and I am gay.
I was gay when I wrote those stories you all praised, I was gay when I spoke up on those chat boards about gays in Narnia, and I was gay when I chose to stay silent because it was your faith home and I wanted to respect that. If that changes the worth of my writing in your eyes, if that changes my worth in your eyes, then I'm sorry for you, because I'm happy with who I am. And no amount of love or hate is going to change that.
Unsafe External Link