Zimo
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Joined 12-20-03, id: 506574, Profile Updated: 07-18-11
Author has written 2 stories for How to Train Your Dragon, and Naruto.

"The greatest ability of the fanfiction writer is to realise that they're writing shit. And it's all shit. Every fucking fanfic writer writes shit to some degree." From Lightning Hunter's tips for writing fanfiction.

Personal thoughts on fanfiction? It's an obsession that only the people involved can understand. Never try and explain it to strangers.

About me: Contrary to popular belief, I am female. I am also an absolute intolerant bitch when it comes to fanfiction, although I have been told by my nearest and dearest that I can be quite witty on occasion. I adore horror, mystery, suspense, comedy, parody, supernatural, actual character development, original plots, all round dickery and narwhals.

Because people are always asking me where I get the name for "What became of the Likely Lads", here is linkage: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n4SAY2NhE7Y


Fic news:

Right now I am currently rewriting 'What became of the Likely Lads"- A fic that I first posted up about three years ago which has been a further four years or so in the making. It's changed direction a little (a lot!), and has become much darker (very dark). All opinions, flames and criticisms are all welcomed with open arms. Chapters one to five are going to be rewritten. Why? Because A) They were done in a rush. B) They are not quite capturing the feel of the overall story or the view I want people to have on my characterization of Naruto himself.

Chapter 11 is finished! Things are all starting to come together now.

'Vertigo' is currently on hiatus until I get the Likely Lads finished. Sorry people, but I need to get it done first.

Also currently teasing out the plot for a story that will be entitled "Naruto Sensei!". I'll keep you posted on it.


From Golden Arms: It might be a bad lemon. (Not for the eyes of the underage but still lulzy)

If it takes more than three reasonably moderate paragraphs to describe and the lines looks like something right out of Bible Black, it might be a bad lemon.

If the words, "This is the best!" pop up, it might be a bad lemon.

If imagining any of the actions make you wince and cross your legs, it might be a bad lemon.

If the girls don't mind sharing and never had a discussion about it, it might be a bad lemon.

If there's excessive name-calling ("NARUTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"), it might be a bad lemon.

If at the end of the scene you suddenly feel ashamed for ever shipping the pair, it might be a bad lemon.

If any of the positions involved make you think of Cosmopolitan, it might be a bad lemon.

If it's the characters' first time having sex and they start off with professional-grade oral, it might be a bad lemon.

If any character happens to love smegma, it might be a bad lemon.

If the words "smelling salts," "strawberry shortcake," or "glass bottom boat" are ever mentioned, not only it might be a bad lemon, it might be a sign that you're way out of your element here.

If anyone "never came so hard before" now, it might be a bad lemon.

If you ever start to imagine a diagram or flowchart of the action, it might be a bad lemon.

If you fall asleep while reading and your hands never once left the keyboard and/or mouse, it might be a bad lemon.

If the male's penis is half a meter anything, it might be a bad lemon.

If the female can safely accommodate said male with no trouble whatsoever, it might be a bad lemon.

If the thought of being turned on makes you physically ill, it might be a bad lemon.

If reporting the fic makes you smile, it might be a bad lemon.

If you find yourself blitzed out of your mind as a result of playing a lemon drinking game and you haven't made it to page two yet, it might be a bad lemon.

If you ever had to correct someone's knowledge of how intercourse works, it might be a bad lemon.

If she cries like a baby when you break her hymen, it might be a bad lemon.

If reading a lemon makes you think of a home entertainment system that you haven't put together yet, it might be a bad lemon.

If she admits she didn't know she was such a cockwhore before, it might be a bad lemon.

If her response to sex make you think she has been turned into a brain-eating zombie, it might be a bad lemon.

If the male is having sex with someone's dead mother, it might be a bad lemon.

If you think teachers should use the fic as a method of teaching abstinence, it might be a bad lemon.

If midway through the story, you have to check to see what universe the story is happening in, it might be a bad lemon.


Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Shinji and Warhammer40k by Charles Bhepin reviews
Shinji Ikari finds a boxful of insanity and becomes even more unhinged than before. Somehow, this is A Good Thing. As the grim dark future melts into stark bleak present, upon a throne of tropes humanity might find the savior it so requires.
Crossover - Evangelion & Warhammer - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 48 - Words: 755,729 - Reviews: 1590 - Favs: 2,154 - Follows: 1,510 - Updated: 4/4 - Published: 11/11/2007
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH by Secondpillow reviews
Harry Potter eventually eats a sandwich and discusses life with a famous author.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 2,733 - Reviews: 896 - Favs: 820 - Follows: 275 - Updated: 11/11/2013 - Published: 8/27/2005 - Bellatrix L., Seamus F.
Motivation by Durandall reviews
Kakashi made a mistake. Shikamaru is smart. Shino is skilled. Naruto is strong. Maybe something amazing could happen, with the right ... motivation.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 10 - Words: 136,375 - Reviews: 932 - Favs: 2,847 - Follows: 2,855 - Updated: 10/21/2013 - Published: 2/18/2011
Oyabun by leonardo1123581321 reviews
After failing the graduation exam and getting arrested on false charges, Naruto finds refuge in the least likely place: The Yakuza. Will our favorite, hyperactive, knuckle-headed ninja rule the underworld or will it bring him to his knees? Watch Naruto's life unfold as a gangster in everyone's favorite ninja world! Inspired by: The Sicilian and Confessions of a Yakuza
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Crime/Drama - Chapters: 51 - Words: 319,358 - Reviews: 550 - Favs: 648 - Follows: 556 - Updated: 8/24/2012 - Published: 3/8/2007 - [Naruto U., Hinata H.] - Complete
Perfection by Arynia reviews
AU: Orochimaru decides to create the perfect host by combining Akatsuki's abilities, and selects Naruto for the 'honour.' Sacrificed by the elders to appease Orochimaru, Naruto can become the greatest shinobi ever seen - or the ultimate monster.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Family - Chapters: 11 - Words: 125,473 - Reviews: 974 - Favs: 2,480 - Follows: 2,292 - Updated: 1/28/2012 - Published: 1/23/2010 - Naruto U.
Scorpion's Disciple by nobody102 reviews
AU. Orochimaru's resignation from Akatsuki is more intense than in canon, resulting in a meeting between young Naruto and Sasoriā€¦ Slow buildup.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 15 - Words: 149,612 - Reviews: 2199 - Favs: 4,233 - Follows: 3,124 - Updated: 10/17/2011 - Published: 6/25/2009 - Naruto U. - Complete
The Mysterious Disappearance of Uzumaki Naruto by Syroc reviews
The title is pretty self-explanatory. Naruto vanishes without a trace one day. Sakura asks Sasuke to look for him. What follows is something that nobody could expect.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 12,751 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 113 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 5/2/2011 - Published: 5/1/2011 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
Fuzzy Logic by Deritine reviews
AU time travel: The kyuubi no kitsune knew something was wrong, but couldn't put a paw on quite what. However, there are benefits to being a force of nature, including time itself bending to accommodate you. Finished!
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 40 - Words: 161,393 - Reviews: 1842 - Favs: 2,487 - Follows: 1,538 - Updated: 4/7/2011 - Published: 4/7/2009 - Kyuubi/Kurama - Complete
The Girl From Whirlpool by SilverShine reviews
When Naruto's father met his mother, his only impression was that a village out there must have been missing its idiot. Minato/Kushina.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 27 - Words: 248,299 - Reviews: 4538 - Favs: 4,069 - Follows: 3,101 - Updated: 3/18/2011 - Published: 1/6/2010 - Minato N., Kushina U.
The Best Part of Dying by treeflamingo reviews
People start dying the moment they're born. It's a long, stupid process, and at the end she's the only thing he really enjoyed. BJxNatsu Genre: Dark Rated T for sexy times and minor language.
Skip Beat! - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,351 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 6 - Published: 3/1/2011 - Complete
Beloved Helpless by jaokolad reviews
When Soul is kidnapped, an underground movement of humans is revealed, and they're after the weapons of Shibusen. Humanity rises up and the teams have to choose whether to stick to their oaths or fight those they swore to protect. SxM BlxTsu *Slight AU*
Soul Eater - Rated: T - English - Drama/Suspense - Chapters: 14 - Words: 107,518 - Reviews: 240 - Favs: 229 - Follows: 217 - Updated: 2/18/2011 - Published: 5/17/2010 - Soul Eater, Maka A.
Last Rebel by Quote the Speechless reviews
Naruto's spirit is broken at a young age. Now he must rebuild himself, and with the help of Kyuubi and some others, he will do that. His goal? To become the greatest ninja in the world. All reviews welcome.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 20 - Words: 109,391 - Reviews: 2085 - Favs: 2,772 - Follows: 2,892 - Updated: 1/30/2011 - Published: 6/12/2005 - Naruto U., Kyuubi/Kurama
Natural Selection by Aishuu reviews
After marrying Chihiro, it's Haku's turn to explore a new world. Haku must navigate human life as he struggles to find his place as a god in a faithless, electronic age. Cowritten with Murinae.
Spirited Away - Rated: T - English - Drama/Spiritual - Chapters: 8 - Words: 32,348 - Reviews: 134 - Favs: 480 - Follows: 75 - Updated: 9/19/2010 - Published: 8/1/2010 - Kohaku N., Chihiro O. - Complete
People Lie by Nugar reviews
Lies have power. They can change a simple-minded believer into a two-faced schemer and a timid follower into a fanatical devotee. They can change a child angry at the world into a man consumed by more than vengeance. But that power is a lie as well.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 34 - Words: 286,222 - Reviews: 2259 - Favs: 2,776 - Follows: 2,147 - Updated: 7/25/2010 - Published: 8/24/2007 - Naruto U., Hinata H.
The CoStar Killer by momoirousagichan reviews
Tsuruga Ren has a reputation for making his co-stars fall in love with him. So despite knowing that, why is Kyoko looking forward to co-starring with him?
Skip Beat! - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 34 - Words: 149,654 - Reviews: 1124 - Favs: 852 - Follows: 444 - Updated: 5/9/2010 - Published: 3/11/2009 - Ren, Kyoko M. - Complete
A Road to Somewhere by Lady Librarian reviews
What began as a child's story has now become an international bestseller. After 10 years of defending what really happened, Chihiro stops believing.Until she takes a road to somewhere and learns some things can't be forgotten. Book 1 - Kamikakushi Saga.
Spirited Away - Rated: M - English - Fantasy/Romance - Chapters: 50 - Words: 312,130 - Reviews: 639 - Favs: 909 - Follows: 305 - Updated: 2/21/2010 - Published: 2/19/2009 - Chihiro O., Kohaku N. - Complete
Sweet Attack by unkeptsecret reviews
Chaos returns to Roanapur as the Triads and Hotel Moscow start their inevitable war. Old alliances clash with new ones, and the only person who can save them all is pressing out his collared shirt by the bed. Revy and Rock. Chang and Balalaika.
Black Lagoon - Rated: M - English - Crime/Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 62,005 - Reviews: 183 - Favs: 272 - Follows: 98 - Updated: 2/21/2010 - Published: 6/1/2009 - Rock, Revy, Balalaika, Chang - Complete
Some Like it Hot by TheOptimisticPessimist reviews
Then, Lucy remembered the first time she had sex with Natsu. NatsuxLucy
Fairy Tail - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,038 - Reviews: 52 - Favs: 319 - Follows: 28 - Published: 6/30/2009 - Natsu D., Lucy H. - Complete
A Puppet Show To Remember by SotF reviews
Ever wonder why puppets aren't that common as ninja tools?
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,845 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 157 - Follows: 135 - Published: 2/12/2009 - Naruto U.
Melancholy's Smile by TokehGecko reviews
Since birth, all he wants is what the majority wants; the end of his existence. But for him, this is an impossibility. Eventual SakuNaru
Naruto - Rated: K - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 39,786 - Reviews: 374 - Favs: 458 - Follows: 541 - Updated: 2/4/2009 - Published: 3/13/2007 - Naruto U., Sakura H.
Orchestrating the Silence by SerialRavist reviews
What happens when the last two people on Earth can't stand each other?
Evangelion - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 76,321 - Reviews: 270 - Favs: 452 - Follows: 105 - Updated: 10/31/2008 - Published: 3/19/2008 - Shinji I., Asuka S. - Complete
Night Owl by Sleepy Lotus reviews
Whilst coping with changes in Jane's social life that leave Daria feeling even more alone, the brain finds herself unexpectedly connecting with her favorite brooding musician. DariaTrent.
Daria - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 9,202 - Reviews: 49 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 46 - Updated: 1/19/2008 - Published: 1/15/2008
Gossip by J-Pop Princess reviews
Kakashi and Ino have never paid much attention to each other, but all that changes when the rumors start to fly. Ordinarily, he would ignore this kind of thing, but she's just so good at making his life a living hell!
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 14 - Words: 65,344 - Reviews: 152 - Favs: 198 - Follows: 46 - Updated: 7/23/2007 - Published: 5/26/2007 - Ino Y., Kakashi H. - Complete
Mating Season by Serac reviews
[Complete] Every several thousand years, the NineTailed Fox lets off an aura irresistible to women, and mates. But now that it's trapped inside Naruto, things are a little more complicated..... [Harem]
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 54,794 - Reviews: 768 - Favs: 857 - Follows: 375 - Updated: 12/17/2006 - Published: 10/20/2006 - Naruto U., Lee R. - Complete
Karma by disposablehero reviews
Bounty heads, Ganymede lobsters, Wild Turkey, diamonds, revelations and caterwauling. Just two weeks on the Bebop. Set after tRFB. SF. Got less angsty as it went along, so I changed the categories. Reviews appreciated now that it's done. STRONG M.
Cowboy Bebop - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 30 - Words: 39,634 - Reviews: 77 - Favs: 124 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 9/3/2006 - Published: 8/17/2006 - Spike S., Faye V. - Complete
Remembrance of the Fallen by Night Hunter MGS reviews
Souske, Kurz, and Melissa spend a night honoring old comrades with memories and booze. Dedicated to the men and women of the Armed Forces for Memorial Day.
Full Metal Panic - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,661 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/27/2006 - Complete
The Danger by Angelbake reviews
AU. They posed an equal threat to each other. In matters of rules, in matters of the status quo, in matters of the heart. 1xR one shot. Added: Silly Outtake
Gundam Wing/AC - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,713 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 12/22/2002 - Published: 12/15/2002 - Heero Y., Relena P. - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

What became of the Likely Lads reviews
Friendship is a fragile thing; Jealously, secrets and vengeance can destroy it. Lies undermine it. Insecurities rip it apart. Kiba and Sasuke are all Naruto's got to help him fight against his insanity... That's if they don't kill him first. Non Yaoi.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Friendship/Horror - Chapters: 11 - Words: 70,178 - Reviews: 157 - Favs: 238 - Follows: 206 - Updated: 7/18/2011 - Published: 2/19/2011 - Naruto U.
Vertigo reviews
Hiccup left moments before Astrid came to the clearing and saw Toothless and now seven years into the future he trots the globe to study dragons while her family desperately try to get her married off. Things though have a round about way of working out.
How to Train Your Dragon - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 10,053 - Reviews: 91 - Favs: 132 - Follows: 187 - Updated: 12/4/2010 - Published: 11/25/2010 - Hiccup, Astrid