Author has written 1 story for Percy Jackson and the Olympians.
Favorite books / series
Percy Jackson and the Olympians
Favorite anime / manga
"The Percy Jackson Pledge"
I promise to remember Percy
8 reasons not to mess with kids
Reason 1: A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, “When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah.” The teacher asked, ” What if Jonah went to hell?” The little girl replied, “Then you ask him.”
Reason 2: A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child’s work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, “I’m drawing God.” The teacher paused and said, “But no one knows what God looks like.” Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, “They will in a minute.”
Reason 3: A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year old. After explaining the commandment to “honor” thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, “Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?” Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, “Thou shall not kill.”
Reason 4: One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, “Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?” Her mother replied, “Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.” The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, “Momma, how come ALL of grandma’s hairs are white?”
Reason 5: The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. “Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, ‘There’s Jennifer, she’s a lawyer,’ or ‘That’s Michael, he’s a doctor.’" A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there’s the teacher, she’s dead."
Reason 6: A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, “Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face..” “Yes,” the class said. “Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn’t run into my feet?” A little fellow shouted, “Cause your feet ain’t empty.”
Reason 7: The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: “Take only ONE. God is watching.” Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, “Take all you want- God is watching the apples.
Reason 8: A reading teacher was teaching grammar. The words on the first line was history, historic, historical and historian. He asked the kids "Name one thing we have that is historic." A voice in the back said "The teacher is historic!"
FRIENDS: Lend you their umbrella. BEST FRIENDS: Take yours and say 'RUN BITCH RUN!'
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink. BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.
FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa. BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!
FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail. BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying, "THAT WAS FRICKIN' AWESOME!"
FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry. BEST FRIENDS: Won't tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when you're not down anymore/Cry with you.
FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number. BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.
FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then gives it back. BEST FRIENDS: Loses your crap and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."
FRIENDS: Return your stuff right away. BEST FRIENDS: Keep your shit so long they forget its yours.
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you. BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd's ass that left you.
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door. BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."
FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone. BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.
FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (a.k.a. drinking buddies) BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.
FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you've had enough. BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say "Bitch, drink the rest of that, you know we don't waste."
FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you. BEST FRIENDS: Will knock them the fuck out!
FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world. BEST FRIENDS: Not only kick everything out of their schedule to listen to what's wrong, but help come up with vindictive plans to make you feel a whole lot better!
FRIENDS: Say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours. BEST FRIENDS: Come right over and hang out with you, until you either fall asleep, or kick them out.
FRIENDS: Will comfort you when the guy rejects you. BEST FRIENDS: Will go up to him and say 'It's because you're gay isn't it?'
FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you. BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."
FRIENDS: Won't tell the cops when you kill somebody BEST FRIENDS: Will help you hide the body
FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter. BEST FRIENDS: Will re-post this crap!!
Members of the Council of Darkness Night Deities
DON'T READ DON'T READ DON'T READ!! JUST DONT READ please skip it don't be funny just skip it.
don't do it seariously please don't
it's like really true so don't read ok
there were 3 girls
This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murder chanted, "Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read this chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded. LucilliaAL