Kristen Bealer
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Joined 12-28-03, id: 510707, Profile Updated: 02-24-13
Author has written 40 stories for Daria.

Hey there. I'm a writer, a librarian, and (obviously) a Daria fan who lives in northeastern Iowa. I tend to write mostly pre-canon, comedy, and crossover Daria fanfic, but every once in a while I mix it up with some angst.

Enjoy!

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Exorcise in Futility reviews
Jake Morgendorffer, Anthony DeMartino, and Timothy O'Neill team up to slay their demons in a night that none of them will ever forget...no matter how hard they try.
Daria - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,809 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 7/25 - Jake M., Mr. DeMartino,, Mr. O'Neill - Complete
Mack of All Trades reviews
Twelve-year-old Mack thinks his life is ruined when his father changes his middle name to Jordan, but his problems are only beginning. He suffers through one humiliation after another courtesy of Shakespeare, sinkholes, and strawberries, but at last he finally realizes what's truly important.
Daria - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 10,613 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 3/29 - Mack M., Jodie L., Kevin T. - Complete
Outclassed reviews
The breakup of the Fashion Club has some unexpected consequences for Sandi and Stacy as they begin their senior year at Lawndale High.
Daria - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 11,297 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Published: 3/8 - Sandi G., Stacey R., Kevin T. - Complete
The Ted Zone reviews
We first met Ted in "The New Kid," but then he disappeared almost entirely from the show. Two seasons later, he got one line in a single episode that confirmed he was still attending Lawndale High. What the hell was he doing during all that time? Let's find out.
Daria - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 9,999 - Reviews: 2 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 12/10/2014 - Published: 7/25/2014 - Ted D-C
Shush First, Answer Questions Later reviews
Daria's first day as a librarian doesn't go quite the way she hoped it would.
Daria - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,689 - Reviews: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/1/2014 - Daria M. - Complete
Shake, Shake, Quiver and Quake reviews
A teenage Jake Morgendorffer struggles to survive military academy bullies, a grueling training course, and his first date to a school dance in this pre-canon story.
Daria - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 12,543 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 7/4/2014 - Complete
Fortune's Fools reviews
A dim-witted football player and an empty-headed cheerleader become star-crossed lovers in a parody of Shakespeare's "Romeo and Juliet."
Daria - Rated: K - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,917 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 6/16/2014 - Complete
Out of Fashion reviews
When the Fashion Club disbands at the end of "Fat Like Me," the consequences spread throughout all of Lawndale. An AU story that turns the lives of Sandi, Quinn, and Stacy upside-down.
Daria - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 14,092 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/6/2014 - Sandi G., Quinn M., Stacey R., Tiffany B-D. - Complete
Mission: Impawsible reviews
The cats and dogs of Lawndale fight like...well, like cats and dogs. But they also work hard to defend the town from its enemies. When a strange new danger arises, can they uncover the mystery and protect the innocent before it's too late?
Daria - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 15,664 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/8/2014 - Complete
When the Bough Breaks reviews
After becoming a mother for the first time, Jodie finds herself struggling to meet the new challenges she faces.
Daria - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 10,457 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/11/2014 - Jodie L., Mack M. - Complete
86 Bottles of Beer reviews
Kevin Thompson, CONTROL Agent 86, is all that prevents KAOS from succeeding in its many plots for world domination. God help us all. A parody of the TV show 'Get Smart.'
Daria - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Mystery - Chapters: 5 - Words: 19,995 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 9/26/2013 - Published: 2/4/2010 - Kevin T., Brittany T.
Tapped Out reviews
Young Daria discovers a new skill in tap dancing class, and decides to find out how it will benefit her at home and at school.
Daria - Rated: K - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,680 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 2 - Published: 7/22/2013 - Daria M., Quinn M., Jake M., Helen M. - Complete
The Double-Crossed Girls reviews
Val is coming to Lawndale to visit the winner of the "Spend a Day With Val" contest...Quinn Morgendorffer! An AU take on the episode "The Lost Girls."
Daria - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,929 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 7 - Published: 5/6/2013 - Quinn M., Sandi G., Val - Complete
Barch Nemesis reviews
Jake encounters an unlikely kindred spirit. A response to an Iron Chef issued by JoeMerl: Random Pairing Challenge!
Daria - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 859 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/28/2013 - Jake M., Ms. Barch, - Complete
I'm Dreaming of a Trite Christmas reviews
Helen and Jake decide to stay home for Christmas instead of visiting family, and plan to make it the best Christmas ever. They, along with their four- and three-year-old daughters Daria and Quinn, find that the task is not as easy as they'd hoped.
Daria - Rated: K - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,300 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 3 - Published: 2/24/2013 - Helen M., Jake M. - Complete
Why? reviews
Kevin seeks the answer to a vitally important question.
Daria - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,011 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/20/2012 - Kevin T. - Complete
A QB Grows in Lawndale reviews
What would have happened if Kevin decided not to rejoin the football team at the end of "A Tree Grows in Lawndale"? An AU story that follows the ex-QB through both victories and setbacks.
Daria - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 17,252 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/20/2012 - Kevin T. - Complete
Trix of the Trade reviews
Daria struggles to prove that Quinn's imaginary friend doesn't exist...but the imaginary friend has other ideas. Based on a comment in "Groped by an Angel."
Daria - Rated: K - English - Humor/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,396 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Published: 10/3/2011 - Daria M., Quinn M. - Complete
Quinn of Hearts reviews
While Daria and Jane struggle to find a new after-school hangout, Quinn struggles with the frustratingly stupid Fashion Club and her own frustratingly intelligent brain while working on a school project.
Daria - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,633 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/20/2011 - Quinn M., Daria M. - Complete
For Better or For Worse, For Richer or For Poorer reviews
Erin is sent to Switzerland when she files for divorce, but she finds the journey more painful than she expected. A story that looks behind the scenes of the episode "Aunt Nauseam."
Daria - Rated: T - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,648 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 3 - Published: 3/23/2011 - Erin C. - Complete
All Hallows' Peeved reviews
It's Halloween! Young Daria goes trick-or-treating with Helen, Quinn agonizes over finding just the right costume, and Jake prepares to wage a one-man war against pranksters. A precanon fanfic based on a photograph in "The Daria Diaries."
Daria - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,518 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Published: 11/22/2010 - Daria M., Jake M. - Complete
Moving the Goalposts reviews
Sandi Griffin has a serious problem with her best friend. Set during the episode "The Misery Chick."
Daria - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,684 - Reviews: 2 - Follows: 2 - Published: 10/11/2010 - Sandi G., Quinn M. - Complete
Before the Deprogramming reviews
Thirteen-year-old Jane Lane joins the Girl Scouts to get out of baby-sitting, but it's tougher than she expected. Will she survive ruthless cookie sale competition, two hyperactive children, and ten thousand verses of "John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt"?
Daria - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,582 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/28/2010 - Jane L., Brooke - Complete
Balletdictorian reviews
Six-year-old Jodie Landon dreams of being the perfect ballerina, but life takes a few interesting turns along the way as she struggles to win her parents' support and attention.
Daria - Rated: K - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,979 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Published: 12/15/2009 - Jodie L., Ms. Li, - Complete
Don't Sweat the Mall Stuff reviews
Quinn and Sandi are at their worst while competing over prom dresses. Stacy is at her best while working at a pet store. Tiffany simply is. Just another day at the mall, assuming everyone survives the experience.
Daria - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,520 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 7 - Published: 8/11/2009 - Quinn M., Sandi G. - Complete
Something Is Rotten in the State of Lawndale
Vengeance! Swordfighting! Self-esteem workshops! Daria must avenge her father's death, but there's less murder and more silliness in this parody of Shakespeare's 'Hamlet.'
Daria - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 10,687 - Favs: 1 - Published: 5/4/2009 - Daria M., Helen M. - Complete
Over the River and Through the Mood Swings reviews
What could be worse than Thanksgiving dinner with a dysfunctional family? Two Thanksgiving dinners with two dysfunctional families. The Morgendorffers learn this the hard way in a precanon holiday story.
Daria - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,270 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/14/2008 - Daria M. - Complete
Blood, Sweat, and Cheers reviews
Chaos erupts when Jane Lane does the unthinkable: she joins the cheerleading squad. An alternate universe story that branches off from "The F Word."
Daria - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 20,192 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 3 - Published: 12/10/2008 - Jane L., Daria M. - Complete
A Monster in the Unmaking reviews
Steve Taylor, Brittany's father, is forced to a good look at his life. He doesn't like what he sees. Story inspired by Mike Xeno's "Irredeemable Daria Characters" PPMB thread.
Daria - Rated: T - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,222 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 4 - Published: 8/21/2008 - Brittany T. - Complete
But What About the Baby Sitter? ! reviews
During her first summer in Lawndale, Daria has to deal with two challenges at once: her crush on Trent and baby-sitting. Will she get over her shyness? Will she learn to change a diaper? Will she survive the experience?
Daria - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,560 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 2 - Published: 7/12/2008 - Daria M., Trent L. - Complete
It's Like the Beginning of an Era reviews
In seventh grade, nothing will keep Sandi from becoming popular. Not even volunteer work. Based on a flashback from 'Daria Dance Party'.
Daria - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,104 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 2 - Published: 5/16/2008 - Sandi G., Charles R, III - Complete
I've Waited Here for You reviews
What if Daria had asked Trent out at the end of "Lane Miserables"? An AU that turns shipper convention on its head.
Daria - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,750 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 4 - Published: 3/23/2008 - Daria M., Trent L. - Complete
Daria's Inferno: A Not So Divine Comedy reviews
Jane leads Daria on a trip through Hell in more ways than one. A parody of Dante's Inferno.
Daria - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,626 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 2 - Published: 10/30/2007 - Daria M., Jane L. - Complete
Squandered Potential reviews
Anthony DeMartino's first year at Lawndale High School may also be his last. A precanon fanfic that explores how Mr. DeMartino turned into the high strung, eye bulging, syllable stressing teacher we know and love...sort of.
Daria - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 14,305 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/9/2007 - Mr. DeMartino,, Trent L. - Complete
Card Games reviews
Ten year old Daria has a brush with popularity because of...books? A fanfic based on a photo from 'Masochist's Memories' in The Daria Diaries: 'I always got invited to slumber parties. I was the only one with an adult library card.'
Daria - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,573 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 2 - Published: 5/15/2006 - Daria M. - Complete
The Life and Death of Stacy III reviews
Stacy's true motives are at last revealed! Based on the famous opening monologue from William Shakespeare's Richard III. A response to an Iron Chef issued by Richard Lobinske: Write the cast into one of Shakespeare's plays.
Daria - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 337 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Published: 4/2/2006 - Stacey R. - Complete
A Little Knowledge is a Dangerous Thing reviews
Just another uneventful day at the LHS library. Aside from the ghost, that is. A response to the Isa vs. Kristen writeoff at the PPMB.
Daria - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,092 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Published: 7/9/2005 - Daria M., Jane L. - Complete
Country Wisdom reviews
What really happened during Daria's original stay at Camp Grizzly? A fanfic based on comments and flashbacks from Camp Fear. A response to the Isa vs. Kristen writeoff at the PPMB.
Daria - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,469 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Published: 7/9/2005 - Daria M. - Complete
The Idiocy reviews
Getting home is half the battle. Literally. A parody of Homer's "The Odyssey".
Daria - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,168 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 7 - Published: 3/27/2004 - Kevin T., Mack M. - Complete
The Trendsetter reviews
Various Lawndale residents have adopted a new look-and Daria isn't impressed. Two Iron Chef entries from the PPMB.
Daria - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 727 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/3/2004 - Daria M. - Complete