Impossible Oswin
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Joined 09-07-13, id: 5110187, Profile Updated: 04-12-15
Author has written 37 stories for Doctor Who, Pokémon, Sherlock, and Harry Potter.

Oswin Oswald. Junior Entertainment Manager, Starship Alaska. Current status: crashed and shipwrecked somewhere... not nice.


Hello, and welcome to my profile!

I'm Impossible Oswin. My writing consists mainly of Doctor Who humor oneshots. But you'll see the occasional multi-chapter story, and a few other things.


Likes: Doctor Who, Sherlock, Supernatural, Merlin, How I Met Your Mother, Avatar: The Last Airbender, Back to the Future, The Princess Bride, Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog, Pokemon, puns, teacup pigs, bubble tea, sleep, you

Dislikes: Alarm clocks, the larger of my two dogs, when there's a kernel stuck in your teeth and you can't get it out

OTPs: The Ponds, Johnlock, Zutara, BillyxPenny, Destiel, RoseTen, BarneyxRobin

Hobbies: writing, baking, listening to Carmen, hacking into Dalek devices


Find me on Tumblr! My url is notmattsmith.


Thanks for reading my stories!!

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

The End of the World by SyntacticalAdour reviews
The 24th of May, 2013, marked the end of the world as we knew it. Don't download Flappy Bird.
Flappy Bird - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 838 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 5 - Published: 1/31/2014 - Complete
Doctor Shark by thewhitepatch reviews
What if the Twelfth Doctor was a Shark?
Doctor Who - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 230 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 15 - Published: 8/9/2013 - 10th Doctor, 11th Doctor, Clara O. - Complete
Two Minds Swapped by TheReaderWithAScarf reviews
The Doctor and Rory were browsing some interesting machines on the TARDIS, and they find one that accidently switches the Doctor's mind with none other than Sherlock Holmes's. Can they switch their minds back? Or are they stuck like this indefinably?
Crossover - Doctor Who & Sherlock - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 12 - Words: 18,079 - Reviews: 71 - Favs: 119 - Follows: 60 - Updated: 1/4/2013 - Published: 12/8/2012 - 11th Doctor, Sherlock H. - Complete
Hey! You Have to Fight, Now! by McJunker reviews
A low level trainer picks a pokemon battle with a high level trainer. Hilarity and horror ensue.
Pokémon - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 636 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/15/2012 - Complete
This is the Song That Never Ends by smellslikecorruption reviews
Robin get's an interesting call from Ted's daughter. "You have to help us!"
How I Met Your Mother - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 574 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 6 - Published: 1/2/2012 - Daughter, Robin S. - Complete
Cas' Milkshake by zeppx reviews
It brings all the boys to the yard.
Supernatural - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 571 - Reviews: 290 - Favs: 1,280 - Follows: 96 - Published: 9/6/2011 - Castiel, Dean W. - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Groundhog Day reviews
When you travel with the Doctor, every day is a surprise. But not for Amy Pond. Something went wrong at the planets of Daloxia, and now Amy is living the same day over... And over... And over. And it always ends with a single message: Bad Wolf.
Doctor Who - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 10 - Words: 13,176 - Reviews: 90 - Favs: 86 - Follows: 134 - Updated: 11/19/2014 - Published: 11/25/2013 - Rose T., Amelia P./Amy, 11th Doctor, Bad Wolf - Complete
The Announcement reviews
John has something to say. Oneshot.
Sherlock - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 542 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Published: 10/15/2014 - Sherlock H., John W. - Complete
System Overload reviews
6 hours, 1 cloning machine, and two very bored men. Oh, and 500 Amy's. [Written in collaboration with Emperor Dalek.]
Doctor Who - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,150 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/6/2014 - 11th Doctor, Rory W.
Kiss the Girl reviews
The T.A.R.D.I.S. plays matchmaker. Whouffle. Oneshot.
Doctor Who - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,419 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/28/2014
Freaky Friday reviews
After being over-exposed to an unpredictable radiation, the Doctor and Jack are left in a bit of a situation. Rated T because Jack. Oneshot.
Doctor Who - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,014 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 8 - Published: 7/5/2014 - 10th Doctor, Jack H.
The French Mistake reviews
The Doctor and the Ponds wind up in a parallel universe in which they are the stars of a show called Doctor Who.
Doctor Who - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 6 - Words: 4,192 - Reviews: 49 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 60 - Updated: 5/11/2014 - Published: 11/7/2013 - Amelia P./Amy, 11th Doctor, Rory W.
Literal reviews
Our favorite trio winds up on a planet that takes the things around here just a bit too literally. A cracky oneshot.
Doctor Who - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 841 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/27/2014 - Amelia P./Amy, 11th Doctor, Rory W. - Complete
Doctor After the Dentist reviews
"'There's something missing in my life, Rose. Something important. Something staring me right in the face.' He pulled her unnecessarily close, leaned in, and whispered, 'My teeth.'" The Doctor's a bit loopy after getting his wisdom teeth out. Oneshot.
Doctor Who - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,795 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 11 - Published: 4/21/2014 - 10th Doctor, Rose T. - Complete
Unexpectedly Perfect reviews
Molly Hooper was in need of a change. And a bow-tie-wearing, time-traveling alien with a fez, though unexpected, may have been just the change she was in need of.
Crossover - Doctor Who & Sherlock - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,166 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 10 - Published: 4/13/2014 - 11th Doctor, Molly Hooper
Boxed In reviews
"It was times like this that Donna wished she'd had a bit more foresight. Or a chainsaw. A chainsaw'd be pretty useful, too." I own nothing. Oneshot!
Doctor Who - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,257 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 3 - Published: 2/9/2014 - 10th Doctor, Donna N.
Well-Played reviews
Never leave the Doctor alone with your phone after discovering a new, addicting app. Oneshot. R&R!
Doctor Who - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 518 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 3 - Published: 2/2/2014 - Amelia P./Amy, 11th Doctor, Rory W. - Complete
Jackpot reviews
Jack accidentally sets a perception filter that makes him irresistible to all. Oneshot!
Doctor Who - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,141 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 6 - Published: 2/1/2014 - 10th Doctor, Jack H. - Complete
Pear-Shaped reviews
Things have gone a bit pear-shaped and it's up to Rose to help fix them. Flirty!Rose, clueless!Ten. Oneshot. R&R!
Doctor Who - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,197 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 5 - Published: 1/30/2014 - 10th Doctor, Rose T. - Complete
Parallel reviews
The Tenth Doctor meets Barty Crouch Junior... Oneshot. R&R!
Crossover - Doctor Who & Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 658 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 7 - Published: 1/26/2014 - 10th Doctor, Rose T., Barty C. Jr. - Complete
Note to Self reviews
The Doctor's collection of Notes-to-selves.
Doctor Who - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 18 - Words: 709 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 47 - Updated: 1/25/2014 - Published: 10/27/2013 - 10th Doctor, 11th Doctor
Addled reviews
"You weren't making a lot of sense. Oh, I should warn you: I think Lestrade filmed you on his phone." What exactly happened after Irene Adler drugged Sherlock during 'A Scandal in Belgravia? Oneshot. R&R!
Sherlock - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 620 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/11/2014 - Sherlock H., John W., DI Lestrade - Complete
In a Bit of a Bind reviews
"If they had to tie us up, did they have to tie us up together?" "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know this was such an inconvenience to you." "It's not that, just that having my arms linked through yours makes escape a bit more... Difficult." R&R!
Doctor Who - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 986 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 7 - Published: 1/3/2014 - 10th Doctor, Rose T. - Complete
Hello, and welcome to the Pokemon Center! reviews
It's hard to ask someone out when all they want to do is heal your Pokemon - again, and again, and again. Our hero learns this the hard way. R&R!
Pokémon - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 589 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/3/2014 - Nurse Joy, OC - Complete
Diary of a Sarcastic Charmander reviews
"Life inside a Pokeball contains all the luxuries a Pokemon could possibly desire. From -" I toss the brochure onto the floor, burning it to a crisp with my ember. The picture of a smiling Pidgey slowly turns black before crumbling into dark dust. It's day seven, and my steel grey home of a Pokeball is not as advertised. The world of Pokemon from the POV of a starter. Oneshot.
Pokémon - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 692 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 4 - Published: 1/2/2014 - Red, Charmander/Hitokage, Blue O./Green O. (male) - Complete
Commercial Break reviews
Something goes wrong, and the Doctor ends up in the commercial break of his show. A cracky oneshot. R&R!
Doctor Who - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 577 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 4 - Published: 12/26/2013 - 11th Doctor, Clara O. - Complete
Not My Doctor reviews
The Doctor and Rose travel to Manhattan and bump into someone familiar to the T.A.R.D.I.S. - but not to them. Oneshot.
Doctor Who - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 943 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 13 - Published: 12/26/2013 - 10th Doctor, Rose T., Amelia P./Amy - Complete
50 Things the Doctor Wants reviews
The Doctor's got a lot of stuff, but there's some things that he will never stop wanting. Companion story to 80 Things the Doctor Doesn't Understand. R&R!
Doctor Who - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 459 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 4 - Published: 12/23/2013 - 10th Doctor, Rose T., Amelia P./Amy, 11th Doctor - Complete
A Companion's Guide to the TARDIS reviews
The Doctor's guide to the T.A.R.D.I.S., to help you live your timey-wimey-companiony times to the max.
Doctor Who - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 485 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 5 - Published: 12/9/2013 - 10th Doctor, Jack H., 11th Doctor - Complete
In Which the Doctor Is Sassy and Other Stories reviews
A series of humorous, crack-y oneshots ranging from "In Which The Doctor Is Sassy" to "In Which The Doctor Aquires a Cellphone" and "In Which The Doctor Discovers Fanfiction". Now contains a table of contents. R&R!
Doctor Who - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 11 - Words: 5,386 - Reviews: 79 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 11/29/2013 - Published: 10/3/2013 - 11th Doctor
Come Along, Tyler reviews
Due to some vortex manipulator trouble, Eleven and Ten suddenly switch places! Ten/Rose, Amy/Rory.
Doctor Who - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 10 - Words: 7,029 - Reviews: 86 - Favs: 135 - Follows: 116 - Updated: 11/21/2013 - Published: 11/3/2013 - 10th Doctor, Rose T., Amelia P./Amy, 11th Doctor - Complete
INVESTIGATE! reviews
The truth about Anderson. Oneshot. R&R!
Crossover - Doctor Who & Sherlock - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 286 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 4 - Published: 11/19/2013 - 11th Doctor, Sherlock H., John W., Anderson - Complete
80 Things The Doctor Doesn't Understand reviews
The Doctor knows a lot of stuff, but there's some things that he will never understand. R&R!
Doctor Who - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 704 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 8 - Published: 11/13/2013 - 9th Doctor, 10th Doctor, Rose T., 11th Doctor - Complete
In the Name of Sanity reviews
What John Hurt's Doctor did wrong. Oneshot. Humor/Parody with a touch of angst.
Doctor Who - Rated: K - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 87 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 5 - Published: 10/29/2013 - 11th Doctor - Complete
Secrets reviews
The Doctor's under the influence of a truth serum! Rose/Ten fluff.
Doctor Who - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,189 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 13 - Published: 10/25/2013 - 10th Doctor, Rose T. - Complete
Fandoms, fandoms everywhere reviews
The Doctor accidentally flies the T.A.R.D.I.S. into a website, and that website is... tumblr. Fandoms, fandoms everywhere. But what happens when he can't stop? Will The Ponds ever return to their own universe? Crackish at times.
Doctor Who - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 8 - Words: 7,134 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 10/18/2013 - Published: 9/17/2013 - Amelia P./Amy, 11th Doctor, Rory W.
The Adventures of OC reviews
OC had a normal, whovian life. And then she met the Doctor! Thus began The Adventures of OC!
Doctor Who - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 394 - Reviews: 4 - Follows: 3 - Published: 10/6/2013 - OC
Phones and Time Travel reviews
Rose and the Doctor get a strange call. Rory is stuck in an ood. These things are not unrelated. Crack.
Doctor Who - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 785 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 2 - Published: 9/22/2013 - 10th Doctor, Rose T., Amelia P./Amy, Rory W. - Complete
And You Are? reviews
The Doctor runs into an old friend, who at first doesn't recognize him. Please R/R!
Doctor Who - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,172 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 8 - Published: 9/15/2013 - Jack H., Amelia P./Amy, 11th Doctor, Rory W. - Complete
Here's the Thing reviews
The Doctor has regenerated into a pun loving chicken. Oneshot. Reviews welcome!
Doctor Who - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 292 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 1 - Published: 9/13/2013 - 11th Doctor - Complete
Hello Again reviews
Set during Pond Life. The Doctor is lonely, so the T.A.R.D.I.S. takes him to see an old friend. Oneshot. Reviews welcome!
Doctor Who - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 916 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/11/2013 - Rose T., 11th Doctor - Complete
A Wholock Play reviews
A play that my friend and I wrote. Amy and the Doctor visit John. Purely crack. Oneshot. Please R/R!
Crossover - Doctor Who & Sherlock - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 390 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 3 - Published: 9/8/2013 - Amelia P./Amy, 11th Doctor, John W. - Complete
Oops reviews
Amy has questions about River. Oh, and the Doctor really should get rid of that book that Clara found in the library. The one that says his name and whatnot. Reviews welcome!
Doctor Who - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,048 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 3 - Published: 9/7/2013 - Amelia P./Amy, 11th Doctor - Complete