Author has written 5 stories for Harry Potter.
I was glancing through my bio and the first thing that crossed my mind was, "I sound so uneducated." I was saying things along the lines of 'lyke' and a lot of these '!!!!'. If you knew me, you'd laugh at how out-of-character all of that is. Needless to say, I'm a little embarrassed, so I'm altering this a bit.
My name is Jess, and I live in Kansas. (Which is one of the most boring states ever.) I plan to move ASAP right after highschool. I love to write, and I plan to be an author one day. (Among other things.)
Hermione/Draco, you have got to love the waif meets bad boy! Plus the whole love/hate relationship thing too, it adds passion. Plus, I have this thing for conceited/cynical guys. However, it gets extremely difficult to find a cliche-free, original fic. These following scenerios tend to grate on my nerves, a lot.
(These plots are so overused it's scary!)
1: Hermione comes back to school in her 6th/7th year and her appearence has completley changed. She grew five or six inches, her breast size increased two or three cups, her hair is no longer bushy but in 'soft curls that cascade down her back'.Can you say radiculous?I mean come on, howplausible is it that a chick can go home over the summer barely cute and come back a full fledged hottie? But you know she always has help from her american cousin/friend! Yeah, we all know us American's have great fashion sense (Some of us anyway)but come on! I doubt Hermione of all people would change her whole entire look! Oh yeah, and when she comes back to school with a whole new 'attitude' so now she is this sex pot/whore/slut thing! She just woke up one day and decided to ditch schoolwork (Something that she had slaved over for most of her adolescence.) and decides to 'live' a little. The best part is when she boards the train wearing a tight tank-top showing off her flat stomach, and a mini skirt showing off her butt, and long, tanned, gorgeous legs. We all know that is NOT a possibility with her.
Same thing goes for Draco.
2: Hermione and Draco are being abused! Oh the angest! Oh yeah, that goes along the lines of having sudicidal thoughts and cutting themselves to relieve their 'anger' and the only person that can help them is *gasp* Draco/Hermione! (Depending on who is 'hurting' themselves) Besides, do you really thing Lucius Malfoy would abuse his son? I mean come on, I think throughtout the books J.K. has made it quite clear that Draco is spoiled rotton!
3: Hermione is a princess/goddess I mean come on...what's the fun in that? Totally unlikly! Now she is more perfect then she already was! Oh yeah and that leads me to her becoming a MARY SUE!!! Gees, you want to to talk about ruining a fic...
4. Head Boy and Head Girl! Those annoy the crap out of me! Draco is not likely to get Head Boy, Dumbledore wouldn't allow it. (For obvious reasons.) and for some reason, everyone makes the assumption thatDraco has the second best grades in the year. Head Boy/Girl is just an overused plot device.
5:The potions...Draco and Hermione are forced to take a potion that makes them reveal their undying love for one another...GAG ME!!!
6: Getting stuck doing 'projects' together and finding out each other's REAL sides and magically falling in love!
7: And last but not least when Draco or Hermione come back to school madly and hoplessly in love with each other, or my favorite, "Oh my gosh he has the most beautiful eyes...wait! Did I just say beautiful? This is Malfoy I am talking about!"
But sometimes there are some of those truly talanted writers who come up with ingenious plots that save me from the other boring scenerios! For instance, Malfoy the Amazing Bouncing Ferret! That is a must read!
Sirius/Lily- I am starting toenjoy those...they're interesting because James and Lily are supposedtoget together! Hmm, do I smell a betrayal?
Remus/ Lily- (See above.) Aw, a forbidden romance. (In a way.)
Sirius/Hermione- I know what you're thinking...perv! I by no mean, am talking about the thrity-some-year-old Sirius with the sixteen-year-old Hermione. That is just plain creepy. I am referring to the time-travel fics.
Remus/Hermione- Same goes as above.
Least Favorite Pairings
Harry/Hermione- NO! Best friends aren't meant to go out and get married!At least that's always been my thought. (But I'm not even sixteen yet, so don't hold me on that.) Besides the fact that I think this pairing is a tid bit boring. I mean, besides the Ron being jealous factor, there is no risk, or danger.
Ron/Hermione- Oh gosh...can you imagine their children?! (See rantings above)
Draco/Ginny- NO! (Again.) Just Hermione, just Hermione! I know what you're probably thinking, well Jess, Draco and Ginny would be the epitome of a 'forbidden' romance. I know this but Ginny happens to be my least-favorite character. (I like Umbridge better then her!) To me, she just doesn't seem to have a personality...
Sirius/Remus or any other slash- I DON'T mean to offend anyone. It's just that slash disturbs me. I just can't force myself to read it.But honestly, do you think J.K. Rowling would make any of her characters homosexual? The pairings sometime astound me, Ron and Harry? Harry and Snape? Dumbledore and Harry?! (Hey I've seen it done!) .:Shudders:.
Any HP character w/ Original Characters...excpecially MARY SUES!!!! Oh my goodness, doyou want to ruinyour fic, andgetflame after flame after flame?Create a Mary Sue! The problem is that they are so pefect. They have no flaws, which make them boring to read about! No one is perfect...not one! This also goes along with making a canon character perfect. (Like a good number of HG/DM fics.) I'm sorry to say but ugly people have boyfriends/girlfriends and get married as well! Most people whocreate Mary Sue's turn them into someone they would love to be. That's another thing, when all the sudden Hermione/Ginny, anyone takes up an intrest in drawing/horseback riding/ guitar playing. J.K. Rowling had never once mentioned any of these characters having this intrest. It makes it obvious that the author likes these things, and incorporate them into their fics. You stray away from canon pretty darn fast when you do that!
Sirius/Hermione- At the age they are now...that's creepy, and not to mention illegal!
Snape/Hermione- (See above rantings) Plus the fact that Snape and Hermione hate each other, besides, he's her teacher!
My favorite quotes of stupidity!
"There is certainly more in the future now than back in 1964."
"Always go to other peoples' funerals, otherwise they won't go to yours."
"We all get heavier as we get older because there's a lot more information in our heads."
"I don't know all the certain words to word it."
"Most lies about blondes are false."
"Better make it six, I can't eat eight."
"Good looking people turn me off. Myself included."
"Every city I go to is an oppurtunity to paint, whether it's Omaha or Hawaii."
"Golden, Ripe, Boneless Bananas, 39 Cents A Pound."
"Fiction writing is great, you can make up almost anything."
"Cars will not have Intercourse on this Bridge."
"Where the hell is Australia anyway?"
"A bachelor's life is no life for a single man."
"You can't just let nature run wild."
"Hawaii is a unique state. It is a small state. It is a state that is by itself. It is a --it is different from the other 49 states. Well, all states are different, but it's got a particularly unique situation."
"Lack of brains hinders research."
In an action film you act in the action, in a drama film you act in the drama."
"You know the one thing that's wrong with this country? Everyone gets a chance to have their fair say."
"Deals work best when each side gets something it wants from the other."
"Solutions are not the answer."
"I loved Jordan. He was one of the greatest athletes of our time."
"We are not ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
"Politics gives guys so much power that they tend to behave badly around women. And I hope I never get into that."
"I feel my best when I'm happy,"
"They misunderestimated me."
"It's time for the human race to enter the solar system!"
Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious."
"I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada."
"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
"...more and more of our imports are coming from overseas."
"To have your niece die in your arms is the greatest gift from god"
"It isn't pollution that is hurting the environment, it's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
An most of those people either led our country or we actually looked up to them...scary isn't it?