Author has written 4 stories for Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Pirates of the Caribbean, Harry Potter, and Star Trek: 2009.
Age: Not too young, not too old
Name: Wouldn't you like to know
Address: Somewhere in the U.S.
Likes: Well written stories and snacks
I have seen these on multiple profiles and believe that they are true for all writing, not just fanfiction, without further ado:
-The 27 Commandments of Fanfiction-
1. Thou shalt not post a fic until it has been checked for grammar, spelling and punctuation errors. The fanfiction gods hath given you a spellchecker on the computer for good reason. Use it.
2. Thou shalt not post a chapter of less than 100 words, unless it is a drabble. This displeases the masses.
3. Thou shalt not put author's notes in the middle of the story.
4. Thou shalt NEVER use text-speak in a fic, unless the characters are actually texting.
5. Thou shalt keep to one tense, and only one, throughout the story. Do not switch randomly.
6. Apply the above number 5 to POVs as well.
7. Thou shalt not get offended when someone makes fun of the crack pairing featured in your fanfiction. It probably is rather hilarious.
8. Thou shalt not use :D or :( or ;) etc. in a fanfiction to show the emotion exhibited by a character.
9. Thou shall try-eth to keep characters in character!
10. Thou shall not treat every criticism as a flame.
11. The Author's Note is not a spot for your personal drama, and thou shalt not make it so.
12. Thou shalt not put any form of the phrase "first fic" in thy summary.
13. Thy created characters must not have names that exceed five syllables in length. Nor shall thy name have more than five words in length.
14. Thou shall not insert thyself into the story line as thyself or as a character unless it is for an artistic purpose—yes we know that you are in love with yourself and are very narcissistic, we just don’t want to read about how you end up with the main character.
15. If thou art writing a story that does not follow the original story line, point it out in the beginning.
16. Thou shall not make a person randomly smart or powerful unless stating a reason for the change (a good reason).
17. Thou shalt show and not tell.
18. Thou shalt not EVER use the phrase "I suck at summaries" in-est thine summary. This annoys thine readers.
19. Thou shalt not write the same way thou speak-est—writing is an art.
20. Thou shalt ALWAYS spell the word "okay" correctly. Using the letter "K" is an unacceptable compromise.
21. Thou shalt only use clichés when thou a) art writing a parody or b) find a new and interesting twist to make such clichés bearable to thine reader.
22. Thou shalt always separate dialogue from two separate speakers in two separate paragraphs. Otherwise thine readers shalt be confuse-ed.
23. Thou shalt not EVER make a chapter all one paragraph. THIS INFURIATES BOTH THINE READER AND THE FANFICTION GODS. They have given thee an ENTER key with good reason.
24. Thou shalt not write with thy caps lock on, it displeases the masses and causes thy readers to lose their vision and make angels weep.
25. Thou shalt know how to spell the character's names correctly before you writeth the fic. Misspelling the name of the main characters makes readers angry and distracts from the story.
26. Thou shalt not say in thine summary "summary inside". This shows lack of creativeness and infuriates the masses. The only exception is when a summary is cut short and a continuation of it lies inside.
27. Thou shall use paragraphs and space the story so it is not terrifyingly daunting to thine readers.
If You Just Need to Laugh:The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music.Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.I haven't lost my mind -- it's backed up on tape somewhere.Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up.I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh, the fun I will have.Is it time for your medication or mine?Oh, I'm so sorry! I forgot that you're an idiot!A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends grab those knives and stab those bastards back for you.A good friend is someone who thinks you are a good egg even though he knows you're slightly cracked- Bernard MeltzerFriends are relatives you make for yourself- Gustache DeschampsAmateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic. Amateurs 1- Pro 0.To put it nicely, I hope you chokeSuburbs are areas where they cut down trees and then name the streets after them.It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn.You don't have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from the bear.A day without sunshine is like... night.I only know how to do things three ways: the right way, the wrong way, and my way... which is the wrong way only faster.Whoever said that 'nothing was impossible' never tried to slam a revolving door.When life gives you lemons, make apple juice, then sit back and enjoy while others try to figure out how you did it.When life hands you a lemon, squirt life in the eye, and run like hell.Never knock on Death's door. Ring the doorbell and run away. He hates that.Last night, I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?"If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you.Even if the voices aren't real, they have some good ideas.Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train.Writing isn't a career, it's more of a mental illness.I'm an angel, honest! The horns are just there to keep the halo straight.Heaven doesn't want me and Hell is afraid I'll take over.Real friends don't let you do stupid things--alone.Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.He, who laughs last, thinks slowest.Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90 percent probability you'll get it wrong.It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end-to-end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them.If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.The things that come to those who wait, may be the things left by those who got there first.Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in the dark.When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.I love deadlines...especially the 'whooshing' sound they make as they fly by.I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good, either.There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved by a suitable application of high explosives.Tell me what you need and I'll tell you how to get along without it.I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the Escape key.Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons because, to them, you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level.Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.Complicated problems always have the easiest and most wrong solutions.You can’t drown your sorrows, they can swim.