a very potter parody
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Joined 10-06-13, id: 5210396, Profile Updated: 11-12-13
Author has written 6 stories for Harry Potter.

...hello, children. Welcome to the madness. I've been waiting for you (I know, I'm a stalker :P)

I'm Lexa. I'm 15. As suggested by the name- this is a parody account, people, so please don't take it seriously...that just kills the fun.

SO! The name:

Well, I'm a huge AVPM fan, so it sorta just...yep.

And...uhh...the stories:

We've got:

draco's unrequited love: Drapple.

wait, what?: Harry finds a walk to Dumbledore's office very...uhh...interesting...

cutlery catastrophe: Hermione, SPEW, and, well, cutlery.

Sirius Black and the Commentary (or, Minnie's Worst Nightmare): Basically- I've always seen Sirius as the funny kind of commentator McGonagall would hire and regret for the rest of her life. So, we've got Sirius commentating and driving poor Minnie nuts. I used only speech here (first time trying that) and I hope it worked...

Conversationalist: one of the nicer things I've written. Voldemort and Harry can talk through their messed up connection, and it's basically just crack.

walking into the library and banging into a bookcase with a wand: Those who don't get the innuendo won't find it funny. Marauder-Era: Sirius and James seem to think their respective lovers are doing what the title says.

So! Tell us about yourself, Lexa.

Well, this is really awkward, but hi, Internet! I hope you like parody. I'm an angsty writer at heart, but sometimes you just feel the need to write pure crack. AVPP was born! I'm insane. As previously mentioned, I'm 15. I'm not going to talk about ships here, because here there will be crack, crack and pure crack, which means ALL and ANY ships, even the ones I'm totally against.

you can email me at emailalexa (dot) 1 @ gmail (dot) com

Just take replace the (dot)s with actual dots and remember there aren't any caps or spaces...email me for anything. I'm very talk-to-able, and if you want me to write anything in particular, either PM it to me or email me.

aaand...a disclaimer:

I don't own Harry Potter. How thick are you, people? Siriusly. It's FANfiction. *sighs*

next...a quick thanks:

Well, I'm actually getting more reviews for this stuff than I'm getting on my serious account. Thank you! They really make my day.

well...rant time! This can be very amusing depending on how annoyed I am, and will change every time I want to rant about something/address some anon flamer (WARNING! SWEARING!):

27/oct: hello, guys. On my oneshot, Conversationalist, I just received this:

Credit 10/27/13 . chapter 1

lt's obvious to anyone who reads this that your story has many remarkable similarities with another one. If you have permission to do this from the author say so, and if you didn't you better say so in the beginning. while imitation is a form of flattery, it isn't one that's well received. please give credit where credit is due, or I will be forced to inform the author.

'twas an anon review.

First off, credit...I'm sorry, but I don't know of this "remarkably similar" fic, and I'm inclined to believe you're bullshitting. I read so much Harry/Voldy convo. This is my try. You didn't state what the similar fic was. You didn't state what bits I supposedly imitated. You, in other words, lead me to believe that you are a bullshitty, stupid coward.

You're not logged in! If you needed to PM the author about my so-called copying, bitch, you need a fucking account. You weren't logged in, which means you are a snivelling, bitchy coward. You know, I might have respected you tiny bit more if you'd had the decency to show me who you are. Then we could have talked. I don't know if you're reading this, but if you are: log in and PM me if you're not as much of a snivelling wimp as you've led me to believe.

Enjoy reading...review if I made you smile :)

Lexa xx

Bathroom Break by countesscee reviews
Hermione Granger encounters the Dark Lord in one of the Wizarding World's neutral zones : A Public Bathroom.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,103 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 8 - Published: 8/20/2013 - Hermione G., Voldemort - Complete
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walking into a library and banging into a bookcase with a wand reviews
Sirius and James seem to believe their respective lovers are doing what the title says. / drabble, T for innuendo
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 770 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 3 - Published: 10/24/2013 - Marauders, Lily Evans P. - Complete
Conversationalist reviews
Who knew Voldemort was one?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,075 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 7 - Published: 10/22/2013 - Harry P., Voldemort - Complete
Commentary reviews
Evidently, Sirius and Quidditch match commentary aren't a good mix- at least, not if we want poor Minnie to make it.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,175 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 2 - Published: 10/21/2013 - Sirius B. - Complete
Cutlery Catastrophe reviews
"I WILL NOT GIVE IN! NO! NO! I HAVE DIGNITY! THE BLOODY SPOONS SHALL NOT TRIUMPH!"
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 500 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 10/19/2013 - Hermione G. - Complete
wait, what? reviews
Dumbledore is a hippie...Draco is a Veela... McGonagall had an affair with James Potter...wait, what?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 608 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 10/19/2013 - Harry P. - Complete
Draco's Unrequited Love reviews
Apples are whores, didn't you know? Always letting people slime all over them. But Draco, it seems, will never learn the dangers of falling for fruits...Drapple.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 192 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Published: 10/6/2013 - Draco M. - Complete