twistedthinking3
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Joined 10-07-13, id: 5215254, Profile Updated: 03-26-14
Author has written 5 stories for Misc. Books, Harry Potter, and Bleach.

Hey, excuse me! This might be very important! For those of you who are hoping for the sequel to A Suspicious Lack of Officials in Soul Society, I am sorry to announce it will not be coming out for a long time. I have to read the Order of the Phoenix, although I do have half of the first chapter done. But do not think I have been idle! In my (long) absence, I have written two chapters of one fic, and one chapter of another. No idea when they might come out. Until then, deal with any one-shots I feel like writing!

Me: Ahem, ahem. Can everybody hear me? Even you in the back? Yes, I mean you. That means you can stop waving your hand, I promise it isn't on fire. You, over on the left, please settle down. Thank you.

Hitsugaya: Shut up, will you? No one's here.

Me: WHAT?!? No one decided to come to this party? But there's sake!

Matsumoto: Sake! I'm here!

Kyoraku: Me too! Is Nanao-chan coming?

Ah ha ha ha ha... Above lies some weird randomness that spouted from the dark and terrible recesses of my brain...

Awkward silence*

Me: ...Anyways, here's some information on me, you know, if you're curious... You're not? How rude.

Hitsugaya: Of course they're not interested, fool.

Me: You know, you're pretty mean too...

Favorite Manga

Bleach: This is my favorite manga. Ever.

Ships

BLEACH

The OTP of all OTPs: RenRuki

OTPs: GinRan, HitsuHina, ShunUki

OTPs: IkkaYumi, IchiTatsu, IchiHime, IshiHime, UlquiHime, IshiTatsu, KenUno, GrimmIchi, IchiHichi, YoruBya, ByaSoi, UraYoru, KenseiSoi, HaliStarrk, YoruSoi, HiyoShin, GrimmNel, NnoiNel, GrimmUlqui, IchiIshi

3TP or OT3 (I don't know which is correct, I've seen it both ways): GrimmIchiHichi

NOTP: IchiRuki

Naruto

The OTP: NaruHina

OTPs: NaruSasu, NaruKiba, NaruGaa, SakuIno, KakaAnko

Avatar the Last Airbender

The OTP: ZuMai

OTPs: AzuLee, SoRoku

otps: KatAang

NOTP: ZuTara

Favorite characters: Renji, Gin, Byakuya, Rukia, Hitsugaya, Soi Fon, Stark, Kyoraku, Ukitake, Ulquiorra, Ichigo, and Yoruichi. Not necessarily in that order.

Least Favorite Characters: AIZEN, Yammy, AIZEN, Szayel, AIZEN, all Quincies, AIZEN, Tosen, AIZEN, Zennosuke, (Useless bastard) AIZEN, and Aaroniero. Oh, and did I mention that I ABSOLUTELY HATE AIZEN, THAT BASTARD?!? HE KILLED GIN!!! HE WILL NEVER BE FORGIVEN!!!

Favorite books

Harry Potter

Percy Jackson and the Olympians

The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie

The Wee Free Men

The Screaming Staircase

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...

You talk to yourself a lot. (It's not normal to talk to yourself?)

You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (That's a conversation that comes up a lot)

When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (I tell myself not to talk to myself. Does that count?)

After uttering a profound peice of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow, this stuff is great for sugar highs..." (I prefer cake... Are cookies mandatory?)

You live off of sugar and caffeine. (When I can get away with it)

People think you're insane. (I'm pretty sure that I think I'm insane)

You'll check your e-mail every day of the week one week, and then dissappear off the face of the earth the next. (Cross that out. I disappear for months)

You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random. (Got that right)

When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it. (Buts it's so hard to find the right words!)

No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper. (I wouldn't if they weren't buried under thousands of pounds of STUFF)

The letters on your keyboard are wearing off. (I write on a I-pad.)

Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome. (Didn't you hear me? I said I write on an I-pad )

People think you have A.D.D. (Ahh, if I only knew enough people that'd think about me at all)

You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D. (It'd be insanely cool)

You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense. (Are you physic?!)

You start thinking about making lists like this and start laughing for no "apparent" reason (My family gets worried about my lack of sanity)

Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago. (I dunno about friends, but my sisters are still buggin' me)

And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101. (Never took it)

Copy that into you're profile if you fit one or more of the descriptions.

Wisdom of Life - Quotable Quotes.

According to the latest figures, 43 percent of all statistics are utterly worthless.
Don't steal. The government hates the competition.
If at first you don't succeed, change the rules.
Tell the truth and run.
Smile! It makes them wonder what you're up to.
Friends come, and friends go, but enemies accumulate.
Truth is stranger than fiction, because fiction has to make sense..
Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat.
Generally, generalizations are wrong.
Ever notice how even the Coexist bumper sticker puts Islam and Christianity as far apart as possible?
Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make ye mad.
All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.
If we knew what we were doing, it wouldn't be research.
Life is like a box of chocolates - it's full of nuts.
The Truth is out there. So what are you doing here?
If you can't beat them, join them. Then take over.
Whatever you are, be a good one.
You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist.
You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public.
We are the people our parents warned us about.
Freedom is the right to be wrong, not the right to do wrong.
The difficulty is not so great as to die for a friend, as to find a friend worth dying for.
Belief gets in the way of learning.
If you try to fail and succeed, what have you done?
When angry, count to four. When very angry, swear.
Enjoy every minute of life. There's plenty of time to be dead.
And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count, it's the life in your years.
We don't live in the world of reality, we live in the world of how we percieve reality.
If God had intended Man to smoke, he would have set him on fire.
A single death is a tragedy. A million deaths is a statistic.
Have the courage to live. Anyone can die.
Education is important. School, however, is another matter.
When a finger points at the moon, the imbecile looks at the finger.
Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to change it every 2 months.
Cynics are made, not born.
Maybe this world is another planet's hell.

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly, Alleyanna Cullen, hugs.4.all.the.emo.boyz, WritingRocks6, Bubble Blower, panache2005, .Dr1v3n t0 1n5aN1Ty., Serenity.Jones, crystalshake, KOIZUMI MICHIYO, Eeveeninja77, Linzerj, Witchsoul531, twistedthinking3

95 percent of girls would scream and cry if the guy who plays Edward in Twilight jumped off the Empire State Building without a bungee cord or anything. 4 percent would grab popcorn and yell "COOL!" If you are part of the 1 percent who would be pushing him off, add this to your profile!

If Justin Bieber shaved his head bald, 95% of girls would cry. Copy and paste this if you are the 5% running up and down the street screaming YES!!!!!!!!!!!!

98% of Girls would cry if Justin Bieber dissapeared off the face of the Earth. Post this on your page if you are one of the 2% that would run around the house screaming: "Yay! I'll never have to hear his irritating voice ever again!"

98% of the girls in the world would die if Robert Pattinson was kidnapped. 1.9% of them would be laughing their socks off. 0.1% of them would be snickering and poking their new hostage with a stick. If you are part of that 0.1% copy and past this on your profile!

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumbwar with yourself (i find that i am a very tough opponent). So if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.

17 Things to do when you're in Walmart!

1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

2. Make a trail of lemon juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look"

12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

15. Grab a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go!", or "I choose YOU, PIKACHU!!"

16. Have a friend push you down the aisle in a shopping cart as you yell "THE REDNECKS ARE COMING! THE REDNECKS ARE COMING!"

17. Shout at the top of your lungs "WALDEMORT IS TAKING OVER!" and count how many people turn to look at you.

Post this if you are a Fan Fictioner and you're proud of it

I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Harry Potter and Bleach, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things.

Yes, I hit like a girl. You could too if you hit a bit harder.

Curiousity killed the cat but selflessness killed the dog

If I could get a frim grip on reality, I'd choke it

I love dead-lines. Especially the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by

Add some sprinkle to your boring, icky, bland, vannila life

If you can't fix it with duck tape, it's not broken.

She paints a pretty picture but there's a twist; the pen is her razor and the canvas is her wrist

A positive attitude may not solve all of your problems but it will annoy enough people to make it worth your while

I write for the same reason that I breath. . . because if I didn't then I would die.

When things get bad, smile, because life is ironic and it's only going to get worse

I had a thought but it got lonely and went away.

Money talks and mine says "Good-bye."

Went into the grinder and came out as hair

Touch it and see if it's hot (you just had to be there for that one)

It's okay to talk to yourself, it's okay to ask yourself questions, it's even okay to answer those questions. Just don't ever ask yourself a question and then go "huh?"

Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.

Don't spend money you don't have cause at some point they're going to want it and you're still not going to have it.

A friend will bail you out of jail at two o'clock in the morning but a true friend will be sitting in the cell beside you saying "Damn that was fun!"

A friend will help you move but a true friend will help you move a body

Due to the worsening of the economy the light at the end of the tunnel has been temporarily turned off.

I do not suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

My train of thought got derailed.

If someone gave you half a brain, you'd still only have half a brain.

All things in the world are mind over matter; if you don't mind then it doesn't matter.

Close only counts in horseshoes and handgrenades.

Most people have a filter between their brain and their mouth that tells them when they shouldn't say something. Me, not so much

Shut up brain or I'll stab you with a Q-tip again.

I tried to keep an open mind but my brains kept falling out

The more things change, the more things remain. . . insane.

You have hate mail. . . you have more hate mail. . . your hate mailbox is full. (occassionably Disney comes up with some real winners.)

Knowledge is power. . . power corrupts. . . study hard. . . BE EVIL!

Your talking is getting in the way of my telling you to shut up.

I'm in hillbilly hell! My IQ is dropping by the second! I'm becoming one of them!

Why is the rum gone?!

'Stress' A condition brought on by over riding the body's desire to kick someone's ass.

Always glad to inadvertantly inspire genius.

Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

Two things are infinite; the universe, and human stupidity... not so sure about the universe.

The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not

1 out of every 4 people are insane. Look at your three best friends, if it's not them, it's you.

Silence is golden but duck tape is silver

When life gives you lemons, make grapefruit juice, and let life wonder how the heck you did that!

The person who can smile when something goes wrong has probably thought of someone to blame it on.

A good friend will help you up when you fall. A best friend will laugh and push you again.

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, then the rest of our lives telling us to sit down and shut up.

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them, you're a mile away and have their shoes.

Whoever said "Nothing's impossible" never tried slamming a revolving door.

A loser is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work.

When life gives you lemons, squirt the lemons in Life's face

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.

Some say the glass is half full, some say the glass is half empty. I say “Are you gonna drink that?”

The light you see at the end of the tunnel is the headlight of a fast approaching train.

When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch the crap out of them.

Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

You know it's a bad day when you fall out of bed and you miss the floor

War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.

Growing older is manditory. Growing up is Optional

I've heard that its possible to grow up. I've just never met anyone who's actually done it.

Kids are the future. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Sometimes you make me so mad I wanna throw you in the middle of ongoing traffic, but then I realise I would probably kill myself trying to save you.

Keep on talking maybe one day you'll say something intelligent

It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn.

If all else fails, try reading the instructions.

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

Ask me no questions, I will tell you no lies…

Perfect men are only fictional.

Remember: Some people are alive only because it's illegal to shoot them.

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

The trouble with life is there's no background music.

I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.

The number of people staring at you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your actions.

i belive that for every person in the universe there is a part of the universe that hates them

new toshiba laptop: $500, data recovery: $200, webcam: $100, letting your laptop know just how much you think of it by throwing it out a window: priceless

When all else fails, read the directions.

Someone told me that it was illegal to kill someone just because they pissed you off...crap...

I'm not a tomboy, I'm just better than you.

I am who I am and I be who I be, you can kiss my ass if you don't like what you see.

I rather be hated for who I am, then loved for something I'm not.

Party hard, rock and roll. We're the class you can't control

I'm not clumsy, I just think faster than I move.

I'm not random, I just think quicker than you. Jealous?

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Does the noise in my head bother you?

When it rains at my party, we dance in the rain.

I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.

I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.

- Sarcasm isn't an attitude, it's an ART.

Being weird is like being normal, only better!!

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me!!

Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.

Life isn't passing me by, its trying to run me over.

One day, will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather...not screaming like the passengers in his car.'

I am not crazy! U know what! The voices don't like u anymore!'

Death is life’s way of saying you’ve been fired.

I hate it when the voices and my imaginary friends fight.

Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

Stupid kills, unfortunately not fast enough.

They say the truth will set you free. But then why is it that every time I tell the truth I get sent to my room?

' The only thing standing between me and total happiness is reality.'

My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

Being mature is overrated.

I'm the kind of kid who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

When I was younger, my parents encouraged me to walk and talk. Now, all they want me to do is sit down and shut up!

I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck, my friends for I may not return alive.

God made man, knew he could do better, and made woman.

At my lemonade stand I used to give away the first glass for free, and charge five dollars for the refill. It contained the antidote.

I was about to conquer the world but then I got distracted by something shiny

They laugh because we're losers...We laugh because they just figured it out.

Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today.- James Dean

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning how to dance in the rain.- Anonymous

Love is like playing the piano. First you must learn to play by the rules, then you must forget the rules and play from your heart.- Unknown

Dance as though no one is watching. Love as though you have never loved before. Sing as though no one can here you. Live as though heaven is on earth.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.- Eleanor Roosevelt

When life gives you lemons . . .
make grape juice, and watch the world wonder how you did it. (OR)
squirt 'em in peoples' eyes!

Be insane- well behaved people never made history.

To the world you are just one person, but to one person, you're the world.

Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out.

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh, he took a wrong turn, got lost, and was too stubborn to ask for directions.

"Sir, we're surrounded!" "Excellent, we can attack in any direction!"

When you really love someone, age, distance, height, and weight are just damn numbers.

Love is giving someone the ability to destroy you, but trusting them not to.

Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never knew.

Forget the risk; take the fall. If it's what you want, it's worth it all.

Every time I try to talk to you, I feel like a prisoner who hasn't talked in years, and I just can't get the words out of my mouth.

"Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest." Mark Twain

"Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear." Mark Twain

"Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see." Mark Twain

"A poem begins in delight and ends in wisdom." Robert Frost

"Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired." Robert Frost

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe." Albert Einstein

"A room without books is like a body without a soul." Marcus Cicero

"Be the change that you wish to see in the world." Mahatma Gandhi

"Smile, don’t frown. Look up, don’t look down. Believe in yourself, don’t let yourself go. Just be who you are, and let your live flow."

"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." Oscar Wilde

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye." - Miss Piggy

"We all die. The goal isn't to live forever, the goal is to create something that will." - Chuck Palahniuk, 1962

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."

"I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world."

"Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square hole. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do."

Things in RenRuki that equal win:

Complete, unbridled devotion=win

Strong childhood friendship=win

Extreme care for each other=win

Extreme height difference=epic win

Willingness to lay down your life for the other=win

Being able to know each other so much that you can make the other feel better about things they are deeply giulty about/feel extremely bad about=epic win

Respect for each others abilities and pride=win

Being able to mend a long-broken friendship=win

Making it your life's goal to make yourself worthy of the other and training your ass off for 40 years straight so that you can be with them=epic win

Fighting the other's very strong and powerful brother to save their life even though you know you're not ready yet=also epic win

Swearing to an incredibly powerful superior officer that you will never give the other up evens if it costs you your life=again, epic win

Finding the power to offer yourself to a very powerful superior officer while the other is protecting you in exchange for the life of the other=win

Continuing to care deeply for each other even over years of painful separation=win

This pairing in general=double epic win to the extreme

copy and re-post this if you agree. RenRuki FTW!

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods: (I didn't write the stuff in the parenthesis)

On a Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping. (that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Fritos!
..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap:
"Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...)

On some Swanson frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
"Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought?...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
"Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid:
"Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because?...)

On most brands of Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor:
"Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sunsbury's peanuts:
"Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals
." (..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

On T-Rat (Military food):
Its not for Human Consumption, Animals and Military Use only... (Ummm yeeeaaah... isn't military also human)

" I see the light... and IT BURNS!!"

You say I’ve lost my sanity. Well I have news for you. You can’t lose what you never had.

Anime is life. Manga is life. Life is good. Parents suck for not buying you more life. If you agree, copy and paste this to your profile.

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HiE - A Hollow in Equestria by The masked author1 reviews
After his death in Las Noches Ulquiorra Cifer finds himself in the land of Equestria through the actions of Discord.
Crossover - My Little Pony & Bleach - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 50 - Words: 371,267 - Reviews: 264 - Favs: 164 - Follows: 170 - Updated: 4/14 - Published: 5/18/2013 - Princess Celestia, Princess Luna/Nightmare Moon, Ulquiorra
Gin Ichimaru and the Order of the Phoenix by The Earthdragon reviews
To avoid paperwork Gin Ichimaru goes to the human world through an untested method and finds himself in Diagon Alley in front of an old man with half moon glasses.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Bleach - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,234 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 68 - Follows: 94 - Updated: 2/22 - Published: 2/9/2011 - G. Ichimaru
Recall by meglee06 reviews
"Recall /riˈkôl/ (verb); Bring (a fact, event, or situation) back into one's mind, esp. so as to recount it to others; remember." Renji doesn't have much of a choice. It's remember, or die. Rukia is doing her best to make sure it is not the latter. RenRuki.
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 7 - Words: 41,359 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 1/19 - Published: 5/20/2013 - Renji A., Rukia K.
Bloody Banquet by The Crafty Cracker reviews
The world has always been divided into two - the human and mystical. Centuries ago, vampires were born and the Aizen family reigned as the most supreme. The Kuchiki family stood as their eternal rival. The clash will begin. A Bleach AU vampire fic.
Bleach - Rated: M - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 12 - Words: 50,415 - Reviews: 282 - Favs: 214 - Follows: 200 - Updated: 1/1 - Published: 11/15/2008 - [Ichigo K., Orihime I.] [Rukia K., Renji A.]
Winterspell by Millie M. Banshee reviews
With the threat of Voldemort returning Toshiro is sent to spend the year at Hogwarts but he's not going alone. It seems the Guardians have also caught wind of the Dark Lord and sends Jack to Hogwarts as well. The two Princes of Ice quickly form an odd friendship and work together to save the Wizarding World while staying hidden in plain sight . Even from Dumbledore? Or can they?
Crossover - Harry Potter & Bleach - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Adventure - Chapters: 9 - Words: 51,202 - Reviews: 70 - Favs: 89 - Follows: 139 - Updated: 12/30/2013 - Published: 7/26/2013 - Harry P., Severus S., T. Hitsugaya, K. Urahara
Mutual Blindness by Kaylessa reviews
Only people that believe in the Guardians can see them. Only people who are dead or have strong spirit power can see the shinigami of Soul Society. But Jack doesn't know that last part and becomes really frustrated in the conversation involving parties that can't see each other, or believe they exist, for that matter.
Crossover - Bleach & Rise of the Guardians - Rated: K - English - Humor/Supernatural - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,920 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 96 - Updated: 9/27/2013 - Published: 2/27/2013 - Rukia K., Jack Frost
Winter of the Willows by ForeverFalling86 reviews
A disturbance is detected in the world of the living and when sent to investigate Hitsugaya is once again dragged into the wizarding world and finds himself enlisted to fight a war that is not his own. This time the Dementors are the least of his problems
Crossover - Harry Potter & Bleach - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Adventure - Chapters: 21 - Words: 80,182 - Reviews: 1220 - Favs: 805 - Follows: 1,103 - Updated: 9/15/2013 - Published: 2/26/2010
Shadows Surround Us by meglee06 reviews
"What's real?" he asked, his eyes finding hers as she looked up. Even in their darkened surroundings he could see the terror that shone in those violet eyes. "What's real, Rukia?" he asked again, urging her to answer him. Her eyes widened, her breath catching in her throat. "The nightmares," she whispered, and Renji felt his blood run cold. Renji/Rukia
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 107,662 - Reviews: 84 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 31 - Updated: 5/19/2013 - Published: 8/31/2012 - Renji A., Rukia K. - Complete
Tea Time, Rudely Disturbed by Scribbles-kun reviews
In which Renji is determined that his childhood friend grab onto her orange-haired destiny and Rukia is confused and just wants to finish her tea. RenRuki one-shot.
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,681 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 3 - Published: 5/16/2013 - Rukia K., Renji A. - Complete
Harry Potter and the Substitute Shinigami by greenbeaneater reviews
When Dumbledore discovers the Ministry is absorbing a teenager's magical powers, he breaks in and saves the boy. But there is more to the orange-haired Japanese teen than meets the eye, and Harry Potter is about to find out who he really is. Set in the fifth book(favorite one) and after war with Aizen. R&R, First story, don't own bleach or hp, enjoy!
Crossover - Harry Potter & Bleach - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 10 - Words: 23,425 - Reviews: 94 - Favs: 191 - Follows: 278 - Updated: 4/23/2013 - Published: 4/1/2013
It Was Meant to Be: RenRuki by Firetalia reviews
Shina Hotaru is fresh out of the Soul Reaper Academy, and is assigned to Squad 6. Her squad wants to see what she can do, so they take her to the World of the Living to see her fight a low-class hollow. They end up getting more than they bargained for! In addition, Shina sees the Lieutenant and is interested at once. But he's got eyes for someone else! Action/Developing RenRuki/OC.
Bleach - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 6,331 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 2/12/2013 - Published: 1/30/2013 - Renji A., Rukia K. - Complete
Blunderland Or Whatever You Call It! by Jezzaanne reviews
Wonderland? Wasnt it a more 'happier place than this one' When Orihime fell throught the Looking Glass, she stumbled upon a Hatter's table. With a Crazy Raven-Haired Lady collecting Chappy Rabbits, A tortured Mad Hatter losing his sanity, A missing Princess and a whole lot of Madness. What more can Orihime do to save a War ridden world even with a sullen man tailing her every move.
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 9 - Words: 41,061 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 1/11/2013 - Published: 6/9/2011 - Ichigo K., Rukia K., Orihime I., Ulquiorra
Frostbites by Nikki Winters reviews
Toshiro is sent to a small town called Burgess to handle a rare Hollow appearance. Whilst there, he finds out the hard way, that death gods are less than welcomed by the Guardians especially one Jack Frost. Four-shot
Crossover - Bleach & Rise of the Guardians - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Supernatural - Chapters: 4 - Words: 7,232 - Reviews: 74 - Favs: 201 - Follows: 120 - Updated: 12/25/2012 - Published: 12/13/2012 - T. Hitsugaya, Jack Frost - Complete
Byakuya's Schemes by crazy alligator reviews
Renji and Rukia love eachother, but neither will fess up about it to the other. Byakuya, of course, sees this. What happens when everybody's favorite nobleman decides to do something about it? RenRuki, rated T for some swearing.
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 30,699 - Reviews: 93 - Favs: 58 - Follows: 45 - Updated: 11/3/2012 - Published: 10/16/2010 - Renji A., Rukia K. - Complete
Fifty Ways to Annoy the Soutaicho by Pipidae reviews
Ichigo and Renji find a list of fifty things guaranteed to piss off Yamamoto. Oh, the horror.
Bleach - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 45 - Words: 29,839 - Reviews: 1487 - Favs: 608 - Follows: 351 - Updated: 10/13/2012 - Published: 4/8/2011 - G.S. Yamamoto, Ichigo K.
The Snake Marks the Moon by Diginaught reviews
Rukia is in love. Byakyua wants to find out who it is. Renji just wants Rukia to love him. But little does he know... Read the misadventures as Byakyua tries to pair the two up, Rukia tries to confess, and Renji tries to mantain sanity throughout the fic.
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 8,589 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 9/16/2012 - Published: 5/23/2012 - Renji A., Rukia K.
Don't Judge A Fanfiction By Its Summary by TheMuseumOfJeanette reviews
Chaos will ensue when the Bleach characters discover fanfiction. Some may go insane. The 4th and probably 3rd wall will be broken. Requests are closed, I'm not taking any more. Story is now finished
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 40 - Words: 100,074 - Reviews: 1338 - Favs: 559 - Follows: 262 - Updated: 8/21/2012 - Published: 4/2/2012 - Ichigo K., Rukia K. - Complete
A Bleached Hogwarts by MoonGCyn reviews
Ichigo and a few select Soul Reapers move into Harry's neighborhood. Their mission for the summer and eventually the school year: Protect Harry and the school from Voldemort, Black, and Dementors ON TEMP HIATUS. STORY CONTINUES ONCE COMPLETELY WRITTEN
Crossover - Harry Potter & Bleach - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 22 - Words: 198,514 - Reviews: 589 - Favs: 479 - Follows: 530 - Updated: 2/13/2012 - Published: 6/9/2010 - Harry P., T. Hitsugaya
Shinigami At Hogwarts by CaiDa2931 reviews
The bleach characters have turned up in Hogwarts! They must be up to something devious! Ron is jealous of Byakuya and is scared of Hitsugaya! What does Harry make of all this? They're all having lessons together, another crazy year at Hogwarts!
Crossover - Harry Potter & Bleach - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 11 - Words: 17,771 - Reviews: 111 - Favs: 126 - Follows: 219 - Updated: 10/19/2011 - Published: 9/7/2009
Black And Red by Ace's Shadow Girl reviews
One-shot series about Renji and Rukia. Updated when I'm in the mood. Can be fluffy, can be sexy, can be sad, but will always be Renkia. Have fun reading.
Bleach - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,328 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 10/14/2011 - Published: 7/10/2011 - Rukia K., Renji A.
Adapting by crazy alligator reviews
Threeshot. Rukia is depressed, and Renji is determined. Kaien and Miyako are getting involved for the sake of young love. Takes place shortly after Renji becomes a shinigami, and before Kaien and Miyako's deaths. 100% RenRuki, slight KaiMia. Complete.
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 10,203 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 7/4/2011 - Published: 5/29/2011 - Renji A., Rukia K. - Complete
BleachHarry Potter by AnotherRandomAuthor reviews
Harry Potter/Bleach crossover will include almost all the major Harry Potter characters and Yachiru, kenpachi zaraki, and Retsu Unohana probably more later... T because I'm parinoid Kenpachi might do something mildly violent.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Bleach - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,930 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 1/29/2011 - Published: 1/19/2011 - K. Zaraki
The diary journal of Ulquiorra Cifer by lamekirby reviews
We all know that Ulquiorra is a deep guy. Perhaps that is why Aizen ordered our favorite Espasda to keep a diary err... I mean journal.
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 109 - Words: 32,643 - Reviews: 2189 - Favs: 284 - Follows: 163 - Updated: 8/19/2010 - Published: 6/23/2009 - Ulquiorra
What is life if you already met death? by moonlight1997 reviews
This is a sequel to Wands and Magic; Swords and Death. This is a story when Harry and friends DID NOT recieve any powers. If you want to read the story which Harry and friends DID gain some powers, go to the story which is called "In a Dilemma."
Crossover - Harry Potter & Bleach - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 10 - Words: 16,886 - Reviews: 55 - Favs: 51 - Follows: 73 - Updated: 7/16/2010 - Published: 5/31/2010
Wands and magic Swords and death by moonlight1997 reviews
Voldemort and Aizen Sousuke had form an alliance. Soul society had sent Ichigo, Rukia, Toushiro, Renji and Urahara undercover in Hogwarts. How can they survive in a room filled with wizards and not expose themselves? COMPLETED! With 2 different Sequels!
Crossover - Harry Potter & Bleach - Rated: K - English - Adventure - Chapters: 11 - Words: 19,508 - Reviews: 60 - Favs: 78 - Follows: 38 - Updated: 6/2/2010 - Published: 5/13/2010 - Complete
Stranger Than Fiction by Ghostface211 reviews
Ichigo/Tatsuki AU. A story about how Bleach might have been had Ichigo and a certain childhood friend had been a little closer before Rukia shows up...
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 42,710 - Reviews: 102 - Favs: 220 - Follows: 231 - Updated: 3/19/2010 - Published: 3/22/2008 - Ichigo K., Tatsuki A.
The Dead of Winter by ForeverFalling86 reviews
Hitsugaya is sent to watch over Hogwarts to protect the living's souls from the Dementors while they search for Sirius Black and to learn about the soul eating creatures. But things don't go according to plan.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Bleach - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Supernatural - Chapters: 38 - Words: 136,206 - Reviews: 1752 - Favs: 1,093 - Follows: 608 - Updated: 2/26/2010 - Published: 11/7/2008 - Complete
Snow Rukia and the Seven Shinigami by JerichosPhantom reviews
Princess Rukia is on the run from her jealous brother in law Szayel Aporro! Meanwhile, a lovestruck Renji is pursuing her to be his. Problem is, she's on the run living with seven eccentric Shinigami, who fight monsters for a living. RenRuki,Rated T
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 13,851 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 2/21/2010 - Published: 2/18/2010 - Renji A., Rukia K. - Complete
Bleached Magic by JerichosPhantom reviews
Ichigo,Renji,Rukia,Toushiro, Rangiku and Byakuya go to Hogwarts to teach kidou. Meanwhile Harry and Co. are off to Hogwarts to finish 7th year. RonHerm,slight HarryGinn RenRuki,GinRan,UlquiHime
Crossover - Harry Potter & Bleach - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 24 - Words: 42,698 - Reviews: 138 - Favs: 254 - Follows: 85 - Updated: 1/30/2010 - Published: 12/27/2009 - Harry P., Orihime I. - Complete
Voice mail by lamekirby reviews
Scenarios of what would happen if a Bleach character didn't pick up his or her cell phone.
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 4,316 - Reviews: 347 - Favs: 145 - Follows: 97 - Updated: 1/22/2010 - Published: 8/30/2009
As The Pendulum Swings by HowCouldThisHappenToMe reviews
A series of flash-fictions. They met in the Soul Reaper Academy. Through the years, much had changed, but they somehow remained a constant in each other's lives. Onesided RenjixOC, some RenRuki
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,951 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 6 - Published: 12/2/2009 - Renji A. - Complete
Movie Night by 16FangsofWrath reviews
Movie night at Ichigo's. Strange feelings develop between Ichigo and Tatsuki. Summary sucks please read!
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,965 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 8 - Published: 11/25/2009 - Ichigo K., Tatsuki A. - Complete
Mama Dragon by Stargaterdii reviews
In short, the dragon seemed to think that the Shinigami captain was one of her babies.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Bleach - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 828 - Reviews: 51 - Favs: 360 - Follows: 38 - Published: 11/16/2009 - T. Hitsugaya - Complete
A Guide for Bleach Addicts by Siphor reviews
Sixty-three different signs of Bleach overdose. Think you're an addict?
Bleach - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 999 - Reviews: 97 - Favs: 102 - Follows: 11 - Published: 11/15/2009 - Complete
The Muggle with White Hair by FireyFlames reviews
On upon entering Hogwarts for an Espada chase, Hitsugaya is miffed. Wands, bratty children, and a whole new atmosphere really doesn't make life easier. BleachHP crossover
Crossover - Harry Potter & Bleach - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 23 - Words: 68,884 - Reviews: 989 - Favs: 688 - Follows: 818 - Updated: 8/5/2009 - Published: 9/20/2007 - T. Hitsugaya
The Advice Columnist by Frenchie-chan reviews
Renji and Rukia had been engaged for almost a year. Renji had always thought that the hardest part of their romance would be confessing his feelings to Rukia. He was sorely mistaken. The hardest part would be breaking the news to Byakuya.
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,359 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 6/27/2009 - Published: 11/27/2008 - Renji A., Rukia K. - Complete
The Twilight Ninja by SymphonyofRejection reviews
The story of a man who rebelled against the Twilight fad. Strong language. Cullenist bashing. Complete!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 9 - Words: 7,844 - Reviews: 89 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 6/7/2009 - Published: 3/3/2009 - Edward - Complete
Lifestyles by thespringmoon reviews
A new transfer student shakes things up at a rich private school. IchiHime, RenRuki, IshiNemu & more later!
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 61,634 - Reviews: 141 - Favs: 95 - Follows: 74 - Updated: 5/28/2009 - Published: 8/21/2008 - Ichigo K., Orihime I.
Confessions 101 Matsumoto Style by Babiip reviews
Matsumoto is sick and tired of waiting her captain to confess to Momo. So, she decides to take the matter into her own hands and teach him how to confess to a lady properly. How? By showing him video clips of other people confessing! Multiple pairings!
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 15,216 - Reviews: 80 - Favs: 65 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 3/4/2009 - Published: 1/27/2009 - T. Hitsugaya, M. Hinamori - Complete
at 375ºF Until Hell Freezes Over by MiraResQNU reviews
Drabble! For Rukia, Ichigo discovered his Bankai. For Orihime, he released his inner Hollow. For Tatsuki...
Bleach - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,310 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 52 - Follows: 12 - Published: 5/15/2008 - Tatsuki A., Ichigo K. - Complete
When an Auntie Comes a Callin by starbyyou reviews
Orihime's aunt pays a visit. She meets Hitsugaya and becomes the aunt that we all hate due to his adorability.
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 28,053 - Reviews: 236 - Favs: 104 - Follows: 63 - Updated: 12/23/2007 - Published: 6/8/2006 - T. Hitsugaya
Lost by Nainanox reviews
Renji always thought he had a good sense of direction. Series of pointless drabbles usually involving Renji. Chap 5: Meet the family
Bleach - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 3,285 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 12/6/2007 - Published: 11/2/2005 - Renji A., Rukia K.
Dolls by starrynightsx reviews
Rangiku finally gets the time to face her feelings...Oneshot. Songfic. IchimaruMatsumoto. Implied HitsuHina.
Bleach - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,349 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/19/2007 - G. Ichimaru, R. Matsumoto - Complete
Parent Teacher Conference by Scarbie reviews
While undercover in the living world, Zaraki has to go to a parent teacher conference to discuss Yachiru’s interesting take on a class assignment.
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,976 - Reviews: 145 - Favs: 571 - Follows: 44 - Published: 11/19/2006 - K. Zaraki, Yachiru K. - Complete
Aloha, Kenpachi! by ice queen reviews
After a series of Zaraki's having a bad day accidents, Unohana convinces Kenpachi and Yachiru that they need a Hawaiian vacation. KenUno, Yachiru
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 14,870 - Reviews: 127 - Favs: 121 - Follows: 42 - Updated: 4/27/2006 - Published: 3/17/2006 - K. Zaraki, R. Unohana - Complete
Therapy for Shinigami by Kaeru Soyokaze reviews
Soul Society has a therapist! Witness the pain and horror of all of the unfortunate Shinigami who end up in her office. It starts with Hitsugaya...the newest victim is KUROSAKI ICHIGO. [series of therapy related oneshots]
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 28,103 - Reviews: 633 - Favs: 613 - Follows: 326 - Updated: 11/26/2005 - Published: 7/8/2005
A Psychological Evaluation of the Christian God by Denizen1 reviews
Just how insane is God?
Bible - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,220 - Reviews: 52 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/15/2002
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Together Forever reviews
A one-shot exploring Ichigo and Rukia's platonic bond. AU. Will try and sneak some IchiIshi and RenRuki because that's the person I am. And because the world needs more RenRuki.
Bleach - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 528 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Published: 3/25 - Ichigo K., Rukia K. - Complete
I always loved that about you
Several angsty poems from Rangiku's point of view. All pertaining to Gin. RanGin
Bleach - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 275 - Favs: 1 - Published: 12/2/2013 - G. Ichimaru, R. Matsumoto - Complete
Today was a Fairytale reviews
HitsuHina songfic. Fluffy. Very very fluffy. Song is Today was a Fairytale by Taylor Swift.
Bleach - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 949 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/7/2013 - M. Hinamori, T. Hitsugaya - Complete
A suspicious lack of officials in Soul Society reviews
Several Shinigami head off to Hogwarts to protect the students, and spy on the wizarding world...
Crossover - Harry Potter & Bleach - Rated: T - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 12 - Words: 26,117 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 32 - Updated: 11/7/2013 - Published: 10/7/2013 - Harry P., Ichigo K., T. Hitsugaya - Complete
Frog and Toad spy on Shinigami reviews
Frog and Toad see a blond Shinigami with a pink scarf by the riverside. Curious, they investigate. RanGin.
Crossover - Misc. Books & Bleach - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 271 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Published: 10/7/2013 - G. Ichimaru, R. Matsumoto - Complete