A Hufflepuff, a Ravenclaw, a Gryffindor, a Slytherin, and a Hogwarts teacher are sitting on a Hippogriff. The Hippogriff starts to get tired, so one of them has to jump off, or they'll all die!
On Jayde (shut up, you pervs.)!
Jayde Green is 16 years old, in the 10th grade, female, and lives in the United States of America. She feels that this is unfortunate because her British slang vocabulary is severely lacking. She appreciates Britpicking (or constructive criticism, for that matter) of any kind, and loves it when readers leave long, in-depth reviews. Jayde does not appreciate the efforts of what she calls “The Inquisitorial Squad 2”, otherwise known as the people who patrol this site and report writers for breaking the rules she feels are absolutely idiotic. Jayde loves music and the rule against the use of lyrics on this site was a great blow to her. However, using the Slytherin cunning she possesses in small amounts (she is roughly 34 percent Ravenclaw, 32 percent Gryffindor and 32 percent Slytherin according to the good folks at “sorting elite” on LJ, you see), she has interpreted the rule literally: lyrics that are not in the public domain will not be used. Expect many lyrics, poems, and quotes throughout her stories. She loves rock music, and her favorite band is AFI (A Fire Inside). If you, too, are one with radiating eyes, mention it in a review and she will adore you forever. And since she is a Fall Child, she is also straight-edge, which is why she signs reviews and things with ‘JXG’. Don’t be alarmed if she swears by odd things as well … like unicorns, pinkness, spaghetti, and various Harry Potter-related things. She is a Bright, and thus has the freedom to use many exclamations in the place of “OMG!” (“OMG(alloping)G(oddess)!” being the first that comes to mind.) Oh, and her favorite movie is Donnie Darko. Unfortunately, you cannot contact Jayde in any way outside of reviews, and vice versa. She has Parental Controls on her computer that prevent her from sending email, IMs, and using almost any other form of communication.
On Harry Potter!
Her favorite plots tend to stray far from the line Jo has established: AUs, “what if?”s, dimension-travel, a good side-splitting parody, de-aging, Angry!Harry, Dark!Harry, NotJealous!Ron, ICness, ArseKicking!Harry, gore, authentic British writing, sarcasm, cool magical creatures, irony, Powerful!Harry, Bastard!Draco and Git!Snape, humor, Harry-meeting-his-parents, MWPP, ‘bad guys’, amnesia!fics, Survivor!Harry, Little kids!1 Aww, Harry-raised-by-other-people, Tom Riddle, Resurrected!James, and Rowling-humor are among the things she gets excited about seeing in fanfiction. Her favorite things are complicated, intricate plots though – like the ones found in canon.
She hates senseless Wormtail bashing, weak/broken characters (this is her only squick), mistakes in character descriptions (Harry with brown hair, etc.), plots that don't make any sense, flat characters, Moody-trunks, pairings that pop up out of nowhere, Evil!Ron, Severitus/Sevitus, "Constant Vigilance!" = Moody, and when ‘bad guys’ say words like “little”, “precious”, “darling”… etc. Enough about that.
On Jayde’s Works
"The road to hell is paved with works-in-progress." - Phillip Roth