Jayde Green
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Joined 01-20-04, id: 525212

A Hufflepuff, a Ravenclaw, a Gryffindor, a Slytherin, and a Hogwarts teacher are sitting on a Hippogriff. The Hippogriff starts to get tired, so one of them has to jump off, or they'll all die!
The teacher jumps off and cries, "This is for the students!"
So the rest of them keep going, and then the Hippogriff is tired again.
So, the Hufflepuff says, "This is for Hufflepuff!" and jumps off.
But after a while the Hippogriff gets tired again, and the Ravenclaw jumps off yelling, "This is for Ravenclaw!”
Now, there is just the Slytherin and the Gryffindor left, but none of the rest, and the Hippogriff gets tired again.
So the Slytherin screams, "This is for SLYTHERIN!" and with that, he pushes the Gryffindor off.

On Jayde (shut up, you pervs.)!
Jayde Green is 16 years old, in the 10th grade, female, and lives in the United States of America. She feels that this is unfortunate because her British slang vocabulary is severely lacking. She appreciates Britpicking (or constructive criticism, for that matter) of any kind, and loves it when readers leave long, in-depth reviews. Jayde does not appreciate the efforts of what she calls “The Inquisitorial Squad 2”, otherwise known as the people who patrol this site and report writers for breaking the rules she feels are absolutely idiotic. Jayde loves music and the rule against the use of lyrics on this site was a great blow to her. However, using the Slytherin cunning she possesses in small amounts (she is roughly 34 percent Ravenclaw, 32 percent Gryffindor and 32 percent Slytherin according to the good folks at “sorting elite” on LJ, you see), she has interpreted the rule literally: lyrics that are not in the public domain will not be used. Expect many lyrics, poems, and quotes throughout her stories. She loves rock music, and her favorite band is AFI (A Fire Inside). If you, too, are one with radiating eyes, mention it in a review and she will adore you forever. And since she is a Fall Child, she is also straight-edge, which is why she signs reviews and things with ‘JXG’. Don’t be alarmed if she swears by odd things as well … like unicorns, pinkness, spaghetti, and various Harry Potter-related things. She is a Bright, and thus has the freedom to use many exclamations in the place of “OMG!” (“OMG(alloping)G(oddess)!” being the first that comes to mind.) Oh, and her favorite movie is Donnie Darko. Unfortunately, you cannot contact Jayde in any way outside of reviews, and vice versa. She has Parental Controls on her computer that prevent her from sending email, IMs, and using almost any other form of communication.

On Harry Potter!
Jayde first read Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone in April of 2000. She has been a devout Potterholic ever since. This mania does not extend to the movies - she loathes them with the passion only a purist can manage. Her absolute favorite book in the entire world is Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Half-Blood Prince is much further down the list, despite the fact that she spent 46 dollars on her copy. She adores Harry Potter above all other characters, although Tom Riddle/Voldemort is a close second. (She believes that a ‘good’ villain is even more important to a story than the hero.) Ginny Weasley, Luna Lovegood, the Marauders, and Lily are other favorites of hers. Characters that fall into a middle, grey category (people whom she is wary of, but finds fascinating) are Peter Pettigrew and Hermione Granger. She detests Snape, the Dursleys, Umbridge, and Fudge.

On Fanfiction!
Jayde began writing fanfiction in 2002; she stopped then as well. She is trying again now, but she never left the fanfiction world for a moment. She LOVES to read fanfiction! Jayde is not a shipper, although she supports H/G and R/Hr out of respect for canon. It is also important that you know she is not afraid to use constructive criticism. She does not flame. She writes down every thought and feeling the story evoked in her, and shows you how to fix mistakes, if there are any. She is a completely honest reviewer.

Her favorite plots tend to stray far from the line Jo has established: AUs, “what if?”s, dimension-travel, a good side-splitting parody, de-aging, Angry!Harry, Dark!Harry, NotJealous!Ron, ICness, ArseKicking!Harry, gore, authentic British writing, sarcasm, cool magical creatures, irony, Powerful!Harry, Bastard!Draco and Git!Snape, humor, Harry-meeting-his-parents, MWPP, ‘bad guys’, amnesia!fics, Survivor!Harry, Little kids!1 Aww, Harry-raised-by-other-people, Tom Riddle, Resurrected!James, and Rowling-humor are among the things she gets excited about seeing in fanfiction. Her favorite things are complicated, intricate plots though – like the ones found in canon.

She hates senseless Wormtail bashing, weak/broken characters (this is her only squick), mistakes in character descriptions (Harry with brown hair, etc.), plots that don't make any sense, flat characters, Moody-trunks, pairings that pop up out of nowhere, Evil!Ron, Severitus/Sevitus, "Constant Vigilance!" = Moody, and when ‘bad guys’ say words like “little”, “precious”, “darling”… etc. Enough about that.

On Jayde’s Works
Expect Ecdysis, a response to Phoenix Tears Type Six's "The Lion's Serpent" Challenge, soon.

"The road to hell is paved with works-in-progress." - Phillip Roth


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The Dream Trilogy Book 2: Tread On My Dreams by Helen Jay reviews
COMPLETE. Draco is lost. Harry's is the world in trouble now, but it's Draco's past that is catching up to them. Fast.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 9 - Words: 137,391 - Reviews: 77 - Favs: 106 - Follows: 68 - Updated: 9/12/2014 - Published: 8/10/2004 - Harry P., Draco M., OC - Complete
The Dream Trilogy Book 1: To Dwell On Dreams by Helen Jay reviews
COMPLETE. Harry is lost. His parents are alive and Draco Malfoy is banging on his door. What is this place, how did he get here? And, most importantly, does he really want to leave?
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 9 - Words: 123,163 - Reviews: 151 - Favs: 270 - Follows: 115 - Updated: 7/25/2014 - Published: 10/18/2003 - Harry P., Hermione G., Draco M. - Complete
Disappear by Rirren reviews
Harry is transported into an alternate universe where he finds Sirius and his parents are still alive and he is Voldemort's most infamous deatheater. Post OotP.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 9 - Words: 43,608 - Reviews: 1149 - Favs: 1,456 - Follows: 1,469 - Updated: 4/17/2014 - Published: 1/8/2004 - Harry P., Sirius B.
Coexistence by darkcyan reviews
AU During his fourth year, Harry begins to feel that something is Not Right. He studies incessantly and when Voldemort is resurrected, he knows of a spell that can get rid of the monster forever . . . unfortunately, there are side-effects . . .
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 27 - Words: 155,474 - Reviews: 2053 - Favs: 2,532 - Follows: 1,179 - Updated: 12/1/2012 - Published: 12/1/2002 - Harry P., James P. - Complete
Realizations by Wishweaver reviews
Harry returns to Privet Drive after 4th year and finds it...empty! What do you do when you can't go to your friends for help? Additional Story Notes FYI: a. AU Summer before Fifth Year Fic, b. Not particularly fast paced.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 36 - Words: 264,047 - Reviews: 8766 - Favs: 11,644 - Follows: 8,859 - Updated: 11/16/2010 - Published: 3/6/2003 - Harry P.
The Return of the Father by Stars Enchantress reviews
A summer storm ruins any plans that the occupants of the Burrow may have, but with it comes a unexpected arrival. With it, comes James Potter. Alive and well. Set after GoF.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 43 - Words: 158,257 - Reviews: 4050 - Favs: 3,001 - Follows: 2,088 - Updated: 8/6/2010 - Published: 9/12/2004 - Harry P., James P.
Muggleville by Jan-AQ reviews
With a strange potion, new location and the odd Muggle Studies Professor along for the ride, Harry's in for an interesting summer but why is Snape here? Dumbledore had better pray he gets all three back in one piece! Humor Angst NoMarySuesNoRomanceNoSlash
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 29 - Words: 162,411 - Reviews: 531 - Favs: 264 - Follows: 218 - Updated: 7/8/2010 - Published: 7/18/2004 - Harry P., Severus S.
Vocare Prabia by Amber Evans Potter reviews
AU. When Harry gets transported to another universe where his life is turned upside down. Is there any way that he can go home? And does he want to when he finds out his parents are still alive there? Chapter 46.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 47 - Words: 142,799 - Reviews: 1825 - Favs: 2,042 - Follows: 1,752 - Updated: 10/14/2008 - Published: 10/1/2003 - Harry P.
Once Upon a Freakin' Time by Evadne reviews
The Death Eaters attempt to do bad things, but mostly just do things badly.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 40 - Words: 29,923 - Reviews: 1973 - Favs: 2,119 - Follows: 736 - Updated: 2/15/2008 - Published: 8/7/2002 - Voldemort, Severus S.
Snake Venom by rayvern reviews
AU fic. what if things turned out differently on that fateful Halloween night? Voldemort, instead of killing Harry, took him away.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 13 - Words: 35,702 - Reviews: 527 - Favs: 682 - Follows: 729 - Updated: 12/19/2007 - Published: 5/29/2003
Still Breathing by Maraudersgirl89 reviews
What do you mean he was still breathing? All is not how it seemed.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 30 - Words: 118,960 - Reviews: 708 - Favs: 424 - Follows: 339 - Updated: 6/21/2007 - Published: 11/30/2004 - James P., Harry P.
A Stranger in an Unholy Land by serpant-sorcerer reviews
PART I: Days before his 6th year, Harry Potter is sucked into another universe by forces not of this world. Dazed and confused, Harry finds himself in a world where his parents are alive, where Voldemort has never fallen and he is Voldemort's key enforcer
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Mystery - Chapters: 17 - Words: 470,388 - Reviews: 1662 - Favs: 3,867 - Follows: 1,312 - Updated: 4/25/2007 - Published: 7/14/2004 - Harry P., Voldemort - Complete
Scabbed Wings by Cacasenno reviews
Powerful but alone, Harry refuses to be convinced to return after he sets out to do what he promised with his 7th year. hbp spoilers. LAST CHAP UP! FINISHED!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 12 - Words: 56,699 - Reviews: 459 - Favs: 180 - Follows: 137 - Updated: 2/25/2006 - Published: 7/16/2005 - Harry P., Ginny W. - Complete
The Visit by Ashliebelle reviews
Voldemort makes an offer to the wizarding world: 1,000,000 galleons for everyone in Britian in exchange for Harry's life. REVIEWS: 'an incredibly well written and depressing story' 'It's kept on the edge of my seat' 'skilfully written, absolutely chilling
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Suspense - Chapters: 21 - Words: 32,150 - Reviews: 162 - Favs: 104 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 12/18/2005 - Published: 3/27/2002 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
Fate by Liisa reviews
After Sirius' miraculous return from behind the veil, Remus, Harry and Sirius band together to correct the fatal mistake made so many years ago on that Halloween night. COMPLETED
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Mystery - Chapters: 46 - Words: 139,817 - Reviews: 627 - Favs: 643 - Follows: 186 - Updated: 11/15/2005 - Published: 9/29/2004 - Sirius B., James P. - Complete
Elemental Prophecies by Raven Dragonclaw reviews
Kidnapped, Nuitari Hawking is brought to Hogwarts by a man who claims to be his godfather. The still amnesiac Harry now finds himself in the middle of the Wizard-Elemental conflict, all the while Voldemort is gaining power.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 6 - Words: 69,970 - Reviews: 1145 - Favs: 1,023 - Follows: 691 - Updated: 7/16/2005 - Published: 5/23/2004 - Harry P.
Blackened Sunrise by The Itch reviews
Having vanished at the end of 4th year, Harry Potter is forced to return during 6th and he's changed. Not necessarily for the better, either.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Angst/Supernatural - Chapters: 66 - Words: 143,264 - Reviews: 1515 - Favs: 778 - Follows: 255 - Updated: 5/1/2005 - Published: 10/19/2002
Petroselinum by totallystellar reviews
AU PreHBP Harry's surging powers leave him sick and drained, and also with a side effect while sick, he's lost his ability to speak anything but Parseltongue. Voldemort attempts to use the delirious, unwitting Harry to overthrow the world.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 7 - Words: 21,352 - Reviews: 77 - Favs: 73 - Follows: 70 - Updated: 3/19/2005 - Published: 9/19/2004 - Harry P.
No Higher Praise by Triskelion reviews
James Potter comes back to life; dark secrets are revealed; angst for everybody; heavy doses of Voldemort, Snape, Black, Lupin, Malfoys, Weasleys, Pettigrew, and Fudge. Harry Potter’s fifth year – now blatantly, defiantly AU. No OotP spoilers.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 16 - Words: 111,583 - Reviews: 1017 - Favs: 753 - Follows: 414 - Updated: 2/26/2005 - Published: 4/9/2002 - James P., Harry P.
In Fire Lies Redemption by Marz1 reviews
After several near death experices, Harry takes drastic measures and seeks advice from a disembodied dog. London is plagued with Dementors and Death Eaters, and the muggles are up in arms. Conspiracies abound and even at Hogwarts evil is gaining ground.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Supernatural - Chapters: 19 - Words: 101,556 - Reviews: 220 - Favs: 104 - Follows: 52 - Updated: 12/31/2004 - Published: 8/6/2003 - Harry P.
How the Fans Stole the 6th Book by Backroads reviews
In the tradition of How the Grinch Stole Christmas... how far will fans go to keep a beloved book series from ending?
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,361 - Reviews: 74 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/29/2004 - Harry P., Voldemort - Complete
Flying Without A Broom by Ruskbyte reviews
Tonks is posing as a Hogwarts student when someone slips something into Harry's drink. With Death Eaters on the prowl and the Boy Who Lived not only missing, but stoned out of his mind and horny to boot, what's a girl to do?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 28,878 - Reviews: 1474 - Favs: 1,983 - Follows: 1,438 - Updated: 11/20/2004 - Published: 11/17/2003 - Harry P., N. Tonks
The Human Condition by C.K. Talons reviews
He never had it easy. But now Harry Potter is faced with a new challenge an enemy he cannot see. But before Harry can consider battling his new foe, he must first control the demons within his mind. Written before publication of HBP.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Drama - Chapters: 15 - Words: 263,457 - Reviews: 381 - Favs: 327 - Follows: 66 - Updated: 10/3/2004 - Published: 4/19/2003 - Harry P.
Fugitive Prince by March Madness reviews
A prophecy stretches war a decade too long, ending with the Potter’s second son flourishing while the first suffers a dark life of ignominy. Harry Potter now rests in the hands of Fate as he’s forced to prove his worth to a world that doesn't care to
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Tragedy - Chapters: 21 - Words: 217,193 - Reviews: 1331 - Favs: 1,466 - Follows: 804 - Updated: 8/31/2004 - Published: 6/5/2002 - Harry P.
The Basement by Marz1 reviews
AU third year. I must have a sign on my back that says psycho paths please attack me. I would not put it beyond Dudley to afix such a sign to me, but I doubt he could spell it accurately enough for a psycho to understand.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 27 - Words: 80,802 - Reviews: 1395 - Favs: 1,145 - Follows: 221 - Updated: 5/30/2004 - Published: 12/2/2003 - Harry P., Sirius B. - Complete
Elemental Genesis by Raven Dragonclaw reviews
Harry Potter finds himself in the middle of a peaceful park after somehow escaping his uncle's abusive household. However, he does not remember his identity or his past. Now Harry must begin a new life under a new name as an elemental mage. AU 5th Summer
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 35 - Words: 211,210 - Reviews: 2400 - Favs: 1,651 - Follows: 491 - Updated: 5/23/2004 - Published: 7/13/2003 - Harry P.
The Broken Victory by Kate Lynn reviews
{DONE!} What drove Hogwarts' most brilliant student to become its greatest foe? Step into a mind that has failed to see past the darkness, and watch the chilling memories that were poured into Tom Riddle's diary resurface...
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 33 - Words: 181,377 - Reviews: 400 - Favs: 228 - Follows: 47 - Updated: 12/29/2003 - Published: 12/20/2001 - Voldemort, Albus D.
Miss Hogwarts by JennaMae reviews
When the prefects hold a one-of-its-kind beauty pageant, the students are all up for it. But will the reluctant Gryffindor contestant pull HIS act off perfectly? (EPILOGUE UP; COMPLETED!!!)
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 54,854 - Reviews: 1049 - Favs: 788 - Follows: 108 - Updated: 6/5/2003 - Published: 12/6/2002 - Harry P., Ginny W. - Complete
A Secret So Horrible It......... by Serenthia reviews
Harry and Snape find out they are father and son. But Harry isn't the son and Snape isn't the father. A case against the use of Time-Turners by senile old men.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,154 - Reviews: 169 - Favs: 170 - Follows: 39 - Published: 5/2/2002 - Severus S., Harry P.
Lionesque by gloomy funeral voice reviews
(AU-ish) Turns out Harry was a rather mesmerizing child...
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 493 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 3 - Published: 9/21/2001
No-Shippers' Anthem by Rage Point reviews
This sprightly song was meant for the forum, but it begged expanding upon. So Rage Point presents, in all its excessively ridiculous but catchy glory, The No-Shippers' Anthem. Enjoy.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 630 - Reviews: 893 - Favs: 1,113 - Follows: 121 - Updated: 5/9/2001 - Published: 5/8/2001
Believe in Me by Roanaz reviews
Voldemort exists, and he has one question: Why does he want to kill Harry Potter? Short but please review anyway.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 851 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/25/2001